Truth B Told 2.21.08: Reliving Space Mountain

Posted by Bayani Domingo on 02.21.2008

A trip to Disneyland coincides with the culmination of a Legendary Career. Do the economics of an HD Wrestlemania outweigh the value of a trip to Disney and a couple Churros? C’mon…those are damn good Churros.

Took my girlfriend to Disneyland on Sunday morning since we both had President's Day off. We stayed at the Disneyland Hotel which was nice, although pricey, but well worth the experience if you've never gotten to have the luxury of having a bed to take a nap in about half way through your trip to the most crowded place on Earth. Outside of India I guess. We arrived at the park and we made a b-line for the one ride we knew we had to go on, Space Mountain. A Trip to Disneyland isn't complete until you've ridden on Space Mountain at least twice, God bless the "Fast Pass". In my mind Space Mountain is the most iconic ride in Disneyland, it's the one I have the fondest memories of, and the one ride that never fails to put a smile on my face. Maybe that's why this one last ride on "Space Mountain" at Wrestlemania seems like a weird mix of nostalgia, excitement, and … trepidation.

In the past couple of decades Disneyland has created "Toon Town", "Star Tours", "Splash Mountain", "Indiana Jones", and a host of other rides, but for my money nothing can top Space Mountain in terms of longevity and delivering a consistently enjoyable experience. In the same manner the world of wrestling has seen the likes of HHH, Stone Cold, The Rock, John Cena, Undertaker, HBK, Goldberg, Sting, Bret Hart, Samoa Joe, Kurt Angle, and dozens of other great wrestlers over the years, but none of them have had the same level of consistent success, popularity, and history of great matches as Ric Flair. While the "Attitude Era" produced some great stars, none of them managed to stay healthy enough or interested in wrestling full-time long enough to achieve what Ric Flair has. If you took a list of the Top 100 Matches, Promos, Feuds, or Angles of all-time I bet you Ric Flair's name would pop up on that list more than anyone else. The man could wrestle, he could talk, he could work an angle, and he could rile up a crowd like no one else. While some people question whether he was THE best wrestler, had THE most charisma, or was THE best "character" of all-time, the man was the whole package, he didn't have to be the most exciting, the most innovative, or have the biggest spots in wrestling, the man was an institution unto himself. Just like the real Space Mountain. While newer and more "exciting" rides came along with more death defying highs and lows, built bigger and stronger, faster and more daring, more colorful and flashier, Space Mountain, like Flair, just delivered as a timeless classic that just never seemed to let you down when you needed it. But funny thing about time, it catches up to us all.

Over the years I found that the big difference between the real Space Mountain and Ric Flair has been that while the ride has been performing consistently over the years, my perception has changed. The inverse is true for Flair. While rides get bigger and more terrifying, the allure for Space Mountain for many diminishes. When I was a kid the ride seemed much faster, longer, and scarier. When I first rode it when I was on vacation with my family about 21 years ago I was terrified and thrilled at the same time. Now when I get on the same ride its not terror, it's enjoyment. The ‘thrill' is still there, but I don't dread the ride, but it feels like a comfortable old friend instead of an adrenaline pumping experience. The ride hasn't changed; just my perception of what it is based on previous experiences with faster, sharper, and more fear inducing amusement park rides. But with a lot of fans it seems that while Flair has lost a little bit of the edge he had back when he was in his prime they still believe the man is the best ‘talker' on in the industry, even though the same bravado and arrogance is coming from someone who can now get half off their "Moons over My Hammy" at Denny's. While people still praise Ric Flair's work in the ring, it's clear the man has lost more than a few steps and now has to be literally carried to a good match. While the performance has changed, the perception still remains. This isn't Michael Jordan going out on top, this is Shaquile O'Neil sitting on the bench icing his knees 2 years too late to walk away.

To be honest I think Flair probably should have retired last year because it's obvious in the past 6 months that he is out of shape and is barely able to keep up with his opponents. The last good match I remember seeing him in was the TLC match with Edge and even then I think the gimmickiness of the match was what helped him out as seeing him take some vicious bumps made up for what physical shortcomings he obviously had. Other than that he's been in some decent, but not great matches since. The problem is that not only is he physically unable to perform at the top level anymore, but the industry is just passing him by. While he can still cut a promo and take a bump it seems like the two biggest problems in his matches are that he has to rely on nothing more than a series of chops, a chop block, and the Figure Four as his only real offense. You might get a knee breaker or a few leg stomps from time to time but really that's the crux of his matches. It's just hard to believe that a man his age could inflict that much damage to a younger and fitter opponent, especially when you look at how often he goes to a single chop block and directly to his submission for the win. It's ridiculous, most of his matches lack the time and psychology needed to build up to a submission because he just can't go any longer, it's getting to the point where Flair matches are lucky to get that break the ** barrier, in fact I think people default to the ** rating too often just because it's Flair. The 2008 version of Ric Flair isn't the one I want to see for $70, but I guess that's what we got.

Don't get me wrong, the man is still a better worker than half of the guys on the roster, but that says less about his ability to maintain a high level of performance into his late 50's as much as it does for the inability of the WWE to train some of their guys. I don't doubt that his last match at ‘Mania will be good and he'll be able to rise to the occasion. But the problem is that so much of his matches now rely on living off his reputation and popularity and not the actual work itself. He's becoming almost Hogan-esque in that way. I think the real problem we have here is that Ric Flair is probably THE greatest wrestler of all-time and while his last match is historic. Chances are it will end up in the mid-card. I know it's fitting to have Flair go out at the "Grand Daddy of them all", but I'd rather see him go out on top of a show he'll headline. I don't want to see John Cena holding the spinner belt over his head as the PPV fades to black, I want to see Flair carried out on the shoulders of the men who idolized him for years. But I guess that's a trade off, you either get the big show send off or the main event send off, but not both. I hope I'm wrong here and Flair main events, but let's face it…chances are slimmer than Colin Delaney that will happen.

I know a lot of people are touting the rumors that HBK will be Flair's final opponent as a great choice, but I'm not one of them. For me it just seems like there are better opponents out there, although the possibility of them is picked up are slim to none. I think everyone can agree that if they miraculously pulled off a final Sting vs Flair match that it would be the perfect send off for ‘The Nature boy' but that is impossible. Flair vs Hogan might have been something special and memorable, but it also might have been the worst train wreck in history. I would have loved to see Steamboat vs Flair, but I guess not many people would understand the historical significance of that match. I think with what the WWE had to offer there were about a half dozen of real choices: HBK (based on HBK idolizing Flair, although they really didn't have a deep history as opponents), HHH (another guy who idolized Flair and the Evolution ties would make sense), Batista (former stable mates), Randy Orton (Former stable mates AND fancies himself a "legend killer"), John Cena (obvious reasons and a complete "passing of the torch"), and CM Punk (say whaaaaat?). Yeah, I said CM Punk. Really had they wanted to pull this off the idea of the "Straight Edge warrior" and the most notorious partier in wrestler would have made sense, could have given Punk a HUGE rub and they could have either played it off as Punk giving Flair huge respect after the match, or turning heel. But yeah, maybe that's just too logical in my mind to give a young guy a much needed "rub". Why not give it to someone else who really needs it more like, HBK, I mean, that guy isn't over AT all.

The real problem here is the booking of this match because that goes a long way in deciding who and where Flair should wrestle. Because this is booked as Flair losing and being forced to retire it wouldn't make sense to have ‘Mania end on a sad note at the end. The match will probably go on either right before the main event or before the Smackdown main event. That way the ‘Taker or Cena win will take the sting out of Flair's loss, problem is that it will also overshadow it. I really wanted Flair to go out on top, but it just won't happen that way, while some believe that Flair has earned the right to win and retire, hey they let Trish Stratus do it, most believe he'll "do what's right for the business" and go out on his back looking up at the lights. That makes perfect sense so long as his opponent gets a great rub in the process, and trust me when I say that "retiring Flair" IS quite a rub. That really leads us to his opponents and the logic of having someone established and a little older being the one to take that honor. HBK, HHH, and even Batista are all very much "over" without having to be the one to retire Flair, also they are all in or near their 40's, not much run left in them. At least conventional wisdom says so, then again Flair is near 90 years old…or not. It only makes sense to have Flair put over a young guy and there are plenty of them. Problem is they've already jobbed out a good number of them; Kennedy and MVP are chief among them. So what do you really have left that fits the mold of "Good workers who can carry Flair to a good match, are at least somewhat over but not too much too need the push, AND can use this momentum to rocket themselves even higher up the card"? The list is pretty small.

If I look at the guys who really are left we have left who aren't already locked into matches we end up with a very short list: CM Punk, John Morrison, Shelton Benjamin, Carlito, Umaga, MVP, and Matt Hardy. Yikes, that is a very, VERY short list indeed. Morrison is feuding with Dreamer and those two might end up in the MitB match or a tag title match, Shelton will probably end up in the MitB match as he always does to hit a few big spots and then get eliminated, Carlito already feuded with Flair and it's clear his star is on the decline, MVP already lost to Flair and I'm almost certain he'll either be in the MitB match or end up hooking up with Matt Hardy who will probably be in whatever match MVP is in. So that leaves us with Umaga and Punk. Umaga isn't getting that "rub" based on the longevity of his "gimmick" and it seems like Punk already got his "rub" off Flair on ECW. So that leaves…oh right, back to the established guys who don't need the honor.

The thing I hate about this match is that with only 5 of so weeks left there is no opponent for Flair. There is no build up yet for this huge match and there are just so many things in the air. At this point the only real opponents left for Flair is either Batista or HBK. Neither needs the rub, but from an odd stand point it seems like either would make sense. HBK and Batista both idolized Flair, Flair took Batista under his wing, HBK is a contemporary and friend, both would step up their games to make sure Flair looked great going out in his last match, but HBK would probably put on the better match. What's even worse is that if one gets the big match, the other ends up in a thrown together mid-card match against someone like Umaga or Mark Henry. Shoot, the way the "e" works we'll probably get a double "respect match" where it'll be a 3-way dance between them. Hahaha…oh…how silly, that would never happen…would it? I guess the "e" is in kind of a corner here, they have a huge match on their hands and they just don't seem to know what to do with it…and Hulk Hogan is NOT the answer…sheeesh.

I wouldn't pay $70 to watch Wrestlemania. I could go to Disneyland and get a churro and a turkey leg for that. A WHOLE turkey leg. How pimp is that shit? Just swing it around and after I'm done throw it behind me while hoping to plunk Goofy in his big dumb head. I WOULD however probably pay $10 or $15 just to see Ric Flair's last hoorah. The man is that damn important to wrestling. I think the real dichotomy here is that Ric Flair's final match couldn't encompass everything I think it deserved. I think Flair deserved to go out on top before his skills had diminished as much as they had and he should be building up a match with an incredible opponent that he has a real history with, or he should be going out by putting over a real up and comer who can take that ‘rub' and run all the way to the top with it. I don't see that happening. I see HBK probably super kicking Flair into a "Legends Contract" and us all recounting what a good match it was....considering how old Flair was. To me that's not enough. I didn't want a qualifier for Flair's last match. i wanted either the closing of an important chapter of a career with an meaningful match or I wanted to see the torch really passed. I guess the WWE has 5 weeks to surprise me, but I'm not holding my breath. The park is closing, crowd is filing out, but I think maybe there is time for one more ride on "Space Mountain"... yeah, sometimes it is worth the price of admission alone. WOOO!!

The Truth

I don't know man, $55 to watch Wrestlemania. I'm kind of on the fence. I don't even have a High Def TV so that's what I'm looking at. If it was Flair main eventing then maybe it would be easier, but I don't know that I want to see the sight of Cena standing over Randy Orton before he sends him and HHH to the Phantom Zone. Or HHH winning his 29th world title in an attempt to become the greatest wrestling in his own mind. To me it just seems disappointing to have Flair's last match take place on any mid-card, albeit the greatest PPV card of the year. It's too late for "fantasy booking" at this point and the choices left aren't horrible. Flair could do worse than Batista or HBK as opponents, but for me it's just lacking something more. As decent of a match Flair could have I just feel like it's not going to be the epic and defining match he deserves. Then again...5 weeks. Prove me wrong Vince...for once.

Coming Up Short

Erick "Choo Choo" Stevens went from promising Rookie to "Superstar" in RoH in a matter of months after beating Roderick Strong for the FIP title on an RoH show and then defending the belt successfully against Bryan Danielson and Austin Aries on consecutive shows. Then he loses the belt back to Strong on an FIP show. Wow, so Stevens rises to the top of RoH and faces some great competition, but the actual fans of FIP don't get to see it. Then Strong takes the title back and FIP misses the whole Superstar turn of Stevens. It's almost like that title reign never happened for FIP because no one got to see it unless you hoofed it up the East Coast for an RoH show. While I get the sense that maybe FIP did this in order to keep the title in the forefront of people's minds while the company was on hiatus, I just think having an important push and series of matches in another fed and then just pressing "restart" when you get back on your feet just feels like a real let down. While RoH may have gained a new "Top Player" in Stevens based on his FIP Title matches it feels like FIP came up short of seeing their title gain some serious momentum.

6 Degrees of…



With Cory "The" Mann failing to claim his prize this week I decided to go with a sure fire headliner as we start off with the Tyrannical Dictator 4 life, Fidel Castro. News broke earlier this week that Fidel had announced he was retiring due to mainly to his failing health. Well as happy as some are to hear that news I'm sure the rounded green hat industry is saddened to hear that with Castro no longer in the limelight their sales may plummet. Well another fellow has been suffering some "infirmities" as of late as well in the world of wrestling…



Colin Delaney, aka Colin Olsen, aka that guy who looks like the dude who used to dress up like a wizard every time him and his buddies would play Dungeons & Dragons during lunch in High School. 5th Level Warlock with an 8 sided dice and a 4th level virgin without it. Well kids, I trust you can come up with new and inventive ways to link these two together…and no you can't skip ahead and say Bush tried unsuccessfully to assassinate Colin too. We'll just chalk that up to bad aim.

Whatchu talkin' bout readers?

Probably talkin' about Obama making the "Cena comeback" on Hillary's jabroni ass. He is honestly one weak ass spinning back drop and "5 Knuckle Shuffle" from FU'ing her back to the Senate.

6 Degrees Results

#2

One of Colt Cabana's top friends on MySpace is Jonny Fairplay of "Survivor" fame.
At the "Fox Reality Really Awards" Jonny Fairplay got dumped on his face by Danny Bonaduce.
Danny Bonaduce appeared on "CSI" where he was foiled by Gil Grissom played by William Peterson.
In "Young Guns II" William Peterson played Pat Garrett who shot Billy the Kid played by Emilio Estevez.
Emilio Estevez is, of course, the brother of Charlie Sheen.
Charlie Sheen was in "Red Dawn" with C. Thomas Howell.

Andy OConnor

Damn, any other week and this probably would have won the top spot, I especially dig the "Red Dawn" link, a very underrated movie in my opinion. Then again I was hoping Jennifer Grey would be holding the same grenade during "Dirty Dancing" when her and Swayze were doing their final number. "Nobody…puts baby in the corner….*BOOM*".

#1.

Your second favourite Canadian is back (Damn you Double C! Damn you to Newfoundland!) with the latest winning entry in the 6 Degrees Of Game...

1) C. Thomas Howell starred on the short lived (but awesome) show "Kindred the Embraced", along with Erik King.
2) Erik King plays (or played) Agent Doakes on the greatest show on television right now, "Dexter", which also stars Michael C Hall.
3) Michael C. Hall was in "Paycheck" along with Aaron Eckhart.
4) Aaron Eckhart was in "The Missing", which starred Tommy Lee Jones.
5) Tommy Lee Jones played "Harvey Dent/Two Face" in Batman Forever, a character portrayed in the Original Batman movie by Billy Dee Williams.
6) Billy Dee Williams advertised the drink "Colt 45" which is the name of one of Colt Cabana's Finishers.

Louis Jones

Actually my second "favourite" Canadian is Trish Stratus. My first of course is Gail Kim…you guys are somewhere in the high teens though. I was all set to give Andy the nod until I actually caught an episode of ‘Dexter' a few days ago, it was pretty damn good. Plus any time you can sneak in Billy Dee and Colt 45 you got a winner on your hands. "Don't let the smooth taste fool ya". Which is actually what I tell the ladies all the time. Good job Louis you take this week's top spot by a hair. Billy Dee's flat ironed hair to be exact.

Left Overs…

How retarded is HHH? He just decreased his odds of winning the title from 50% to 33% by letting Cena win. Then again he did overcome his 16.7% odds in the elimination chamber and nearly won the Royal Rumble and the 3.33% odds as well. Which actually means that if you do the math his odds of winning the title at Wrestlemania are…0%. What? You wanted some mathematical explanation…he's wrestling John "Baby Jesus" Cena for Christ's sake.

How sad is it that Candice Michelle didn't even get any entrance music when she came down to distract Beth Phoenix. I mean…Colin Delaney gets music. If I didn't recognize those tits 3 seconds before her face came into the screen I wouldn't realize who the hell she even was.

I watched the episode of "Project Runway" where the Divas were guests and the designers had to make ring attire for them. I love how their challenge was to create a costume that represented the Diva's personality. I was hoping Lena Yada would have been on the show and she would have walked out on the runway buck naked.

So we can all begin to put our suggestions in the hat for the name of that Elijah Burke/Shelton Benjamin tag team now. Remember though that "Chocolate Rain" has already been taken by Pacman/Truth. Also the "Ebony Mounds of Flesh" belongs to Henry/BDV, and the "Ministry of Darkness" is long gone. So that leaves us with….a) The Dark Knights, b) the NEW Midnight Express, c) and of course …Lambda Lambda Lambda. In which case they need to eventually let Colin Delaney and his friends join by a mysterious "loop hole".

Did anyone else realize that wasn't actually Tommy Davidson standing up to Big Show at No Way Out? Not even a quick Sammy Davis Jr impression either.

For a quick second, weren't some of you expecting Big Show during his promo to give all the credit to Jenny Craig and bring in Kirstie Alley as his valet?

It was kind of weird to see Kurt Angle's daughter on Impact a week ago, then again I guess that's TNA for you. One Angle is fine, two Angles make a crowd, and three Angles make a …triangle.

You know what the silver lining of Rey Mysterio getting surgery is? Anyone can do it...I mean he's roughly the same size of the guy in the actual "Operation" game. I just hope the injury doesn't spread to his bread basket. I couldn't never get the damn thing out.

Okay, so does anyone else think that RAW is planning to pitch one HELL of a sitcom to NBC. They had Lindsay Lohan backstage after all. C'mon people, say it with me now..."LiLo and Snitsk". Hey, it's not...my ....fault...that joke bombed. Okay it is.

I figured out why Canadians weren't buying the RoH PPV. The lack of an extra "u" really hurt it. If they had been advertising ‘Ring of Honour' instead they would have been doing literally hundreds of buys. When will those silly Canucks learn that they aren't the centre of the universe? Eh?

The Great Booty Debate 2008

The Latinas are running away with the contest right now. I think it's obvious that the "Humps" and the "Lady Lumps" are make the difference. This week we go back to the bread and butter of hot chicks and the world of "models", import, nude, cars, whatever all I know is that google gives you more quality porn for free than any Priest at any church camp you can find. Wait...sorry, must suppress, must...suppress.

Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



Felicia Tang...yeah...that joke is too easy...next.

Random Latina Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



Mindy Vega....since when is a Mexican chick named Mindy? That's like an Asian chick named Felicia...oh wait.

So JBL now stands for "Just Beating Leprechauns"? Well I guess now when JBL corners a rookie in the shower room and tells him that he's going to give his wee man the beating of a lifetime, they now have a ray of hope it won't involve sexual assault.

I'm 50/50 on thinking when Abyss comes back to TNA without his mask it will really be Rupert from Survivor. I can't be sure but I'm pretty sure I can see a little tie dye peaking out from his cut off shirts.

I didn't realize it until the other day but RoH is clearly giving a nod to Black History Month this weekend when Human Tornado takes on Tyler Black. At LAST a Black guy is guaranteed a win.

Pimpin' In High Places

The Wrestling Zone is ripe with columns this week, like most weeks, only you don't have to figure out if you're supposed to squeeze us, smell us, or hold us up to your ear and thump us. Although I hear Cook really gets down with that anyways.:

Ask 411 relives the glory of Angle and Brock kissing on Smackdown. Yeah, the gay jokes just write themselves don't they?

C-Lan features a lot of C's this week. Which is better than K's...because then my nickname for him would be a little inappropriate.

Fact Or Fiction feature ME, that's right your buddy B takes on Michael "Sweet n' Sour" Bauer in a battle of weekdays with "T's" in the name. Yeah, that's going to put some hits on the ol' counter.

Jules has his most overrated matches of all-time, he bad mouths Joe vs Punk and Rock vs Hogan. I guess he wanted to spike the ol' Comment section.

There is No Way Out of reading Csonka's 4R's this week. Unless you don't click the link. Then...well I guess we're powerless to stop you.

Sammy features Richards and Jigsaw this week. I'm not that up on Jigsaw per say but I hear he really knows how to put a match together. It's puzzling why he hasn't been pushed more in RoH. I think he just has to wait for all the pieces to fall into place. And....done.

Wilcox is back with his dream matches. Mine would be Ace Steel vs Christian Cage. Yeah, I know some people aren't big Steel/Cage match fans, but I think it would work.

Big Happy Birthday Shout Out to "The Notorious D.O.C." Dr. Matt and Evan "The Hebrew Hammer". It's going to be quite a weekend, Friday night will be spent drinking plenty of fluids and training to up my cardio for the rest of the weekend. Saturday is the big double B-day celebration where all of my hard work and "scouting" will hopefully pay off and then shaking off a hangover just in time to make it to PWG for their Sunday show in Reseda. Usually I'd do a big preview for the show, but screw it, I did it two weeks ago. Tune in as I give you the live results here on 411. By live I mean, an hour or two later, but what do you want. It's Reseda for God's sake, I'll be lucky to find a decent WiFi signal to stea...I mean borrow. Uh...yeah. Well with that I give you a little something to think about next time you wanna rip a man's mask

Till then, the Truth will set you free.

-B