The Wrestling News Experience: 03.10.08

Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the Experience. I am Stephen Randle, and I have better linguistic skills than the greatest boxer in the world. I thought I’d set the bar low.

Hopefully you all remembered to set your clocks ahead this weekend, because otherwise, you’re probably late for something right about know. It’s okay, I’ll wait.

That’s long enough, moving on.

PPV In Review – TNA Destination X 2008

Larry has the live coverage of the show.

LAX defeated The Motor City Machine Guns and The Rock and Rave Infection to become #1 Contenders to the TNA Tag Titles (Hernandez pinned Rave, Border Toss)

Well, what are the odds they’re going to start pushing LAX again? Really, they almost had to win here, since the Guns are allegedly in the doghouse, and really, who thinks Rave and Hoyt are ever going to win an important match?

Jay Lethal defeated Petey Williams to retain the X Title (pinfall, rollup)

At least the whole Lethal-Dutt-Val as Macho-Hogan-Liz thing is moving along, but isn’t it odd that they’re almost replicating the entire love triangle story in the main event?

Kaz and Eric Young defeated Rellik and Black Reign (pinfall, Double Super DVD)

Oh, good lord, now they’re stealing Eugene’s gimmick? Boy, how stupid were all you people who thought Young’s involvement in the main event a couple months back was going to mean big things for him?

Awesome Kong defeated ODB and Gail Kim to retain the TNA Knockouts Title (Kong pinned ODB, Kong Bomb)

These are probably the best wrestled and best booked matches on the card, although they might be in a little danger of making Kong too unbeatable, since she’s essentially polished off all the top Knockouts at this point, and it seems like the only way to get the title off her right now is put her in a huge multi-woman match and have her not involved in the decision somehow.

I’m sure that’s the plan.

Shark Boy and Curry Man defeated Team 3D (pinfall, Ray accidentally 3D’s Devon)

Okay, so the whole “weigh-in” thing is dead, at least. Frankly, I don’t care about Team 3D playing comedy matches, since I’m fairly certain everyone recognizes they’re on the downward side of their career anyway, and at least this is inoffensive comedy fun.

Robert Roode defeated Booker T in a Strap Match (pinfall, Roode hit Booker with handcuffs)

It’s odd that the match where you’re tied together by a normally illegal object ends when Booker gets hit with a second illegal object. I’m fairly certain that this isn’t over, and I don’t mind.

Rhino defeated James Storm in an Elevation X match (knocked Storm off the structure)

…and through a table. Yeesh. Not sure where either competitor goes from here, although I guess it’s possible that Storm might want revenge.

Christian Cage, Samoa Joe, and Kevin Nash defeated Kurt Angle, Tomko, and AJ Styles (Tomko submits to Joe, Coquina Clutch)

I’m sure this was decent, but really, we’re just killing time to Joe-Angle MXVII (give or take) at Lockdown and transitioning the feud from Cage to Joe. Hey, at least nobody turned on anyone this month.

Overall, a decent show out of TNA, which is what happens when you limit the gimmicks to only a couple matches (including one which was completely played for laughs anyway). I could question the direction of some angles (Super Eric?), but standing on its own, the PPV did deliver.

What’s On Tap – WWE Raw For March 10th

Tonight, on a very special Raw, your favourite wrestling show expands to three hours. Possibly to make up for the hour we lost on Sunday, who knows. Anyway, with a special start time of 8 pm EDT (but still 9 pm in Canada), comes a special theme for the night, as it’s WrestleMania Rewind! What does that mean? Well, apparently throughout the night, we’ll be seeing rematches from past WrestleManias, as all three brands will be in attendance. What matches will we see? None are announced, but I could venture a guess at one.

Because the Triple Threat Takeover is still in effect, and that means that Randy Orton is in charge of himself, John Cena, and Triple H, and their participation in the show. Given that Trip and Cena faced each other just two years ago at WrestleMania, the possibilities of them facing off would seem worth betting on.

And following their disastrous confrontation via satellite last week, Floyd Mayweather and The Big Show will be face-to-face tonight, as we have the official weigh-in for the big WrestleMania fight between the two. Will Mayweather continue to get the upper hand on the big man, or will Show make the undefeated boxer eat his strange, confusing words from last week?

Around The Horn

Breaking news as of this morning, Amy “Lita” Dumas has been hospitalized for unknown reasons, resulting in the cancellation of a concert she was to perform with her band, the Luchagores. For more details (hopefully), keep your eyes peeled to 411Mania for updates as they become available.

Reports are coming in that MVP won himself a spot in the Money in the Bank match this past weekend at a house show, and with those reports comes a great deal of scathing commentary. Most notably, how have they managed to drop the ball on the MVP-Matt Hardy feud by not having the near year-long feud have a great blowoff at WrestleMania? Granted, injuries have played a part for the entire feud, but I was under the impression that Matt was good to go, and really the only question at this point is that MVP has been jobbing hard to Batista for about a month now for some reason, without any mention of Matt Hardy. But really, this just ties into what has been a horribly disappointing build to WrestleMania all around, with the Show-Mayweather match-up in danger of tanking after last week, and a bunch of semi-marquee matchups taking place with absolutely no intriguing build-up, including a Money in the Bank match being set up with qualifying matches involving luminaries such as Val Venis and Snitsky. The main events are being booked well, to be sure, but this year’s WrestleMania is definitely light on the type of “blood feud” matches you’d like to see at a big show, especially with JBL shoe-horned into the Finlay-McMahon feud for no real reason. Plus, with both the IC and US titles in the Money in the Bank match, the Women’s title in a novelty tag match, and the Cruiserweight title retired, the biggest show of the year is pretty light on title matches, as well.

Apparently Michael Cole has been removed as the head of WWE.com, allegedly due to Vince McMahon feeling that the website had declined horribly in quality. Frankly, the entire thing only exists to give show previews and results, plus a portal to ShopZone, so who really cares what content it has? Recently, however, WWE.com has debuted a section about “Industry News”, which gathers all news about upcoming pro wrestling events, no matter what organization, and localizing it on WWE.com. Okay, but there’s already a bunch of wrestling news sites that do that, and there’s no way anything that shows up there won’t show up, in more interesting fashion, right here at 411Mania. Although if Vince wanted to start paying us for our services, that might work. Yes, I’d sell myself to the WWE machine for a salaried position. Don’t look so shocked.

WWE has also opened pages on MySpace and Facebook. I wonder if I’m blacklisted from having WWE as my friend, too?

Kim Kardashian, one of those symbols of everything that’s wrong with America, has been brought in as a special “guest hostess” of WrestleMania. Maybe she and Adamle can have a competition to see who can screw up live on the air more often. We could make a drinking game out of it!

And before I leave this segment, apparently Bobby Lashley is training to be an MMA fighter. So in a few months, we may actually be able to see what would happen if Brock Lesnar faced his exact doppelganger from an alternate universe. You can have that one for free, Dana, but the next great idea I have to help UFC is going to cost big bucks.

In Case You Missed It

WWE Raw – March 3rd

Match Results

– Big Show defeated Brandon “The Thrill” Hill in an MMA match (pinfall, chokeslam)
– Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels defeated Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch (Cade submits to Flair, Figure Four Leglock)
– Umaga defeated Super Crazy (pinfall, Samoan Spike)
– John Cena defeated Mr. Kennedy (submission, STFU)
– Carlito defeated Cody Rhodes to earn a spot in Money In The Bank (pinfall, Backstabber)
– Randy Orton defeated Triple H (DQ, Cena attacks Orton)

Notes

– William Regal announced “Triple Threat Takeover”, where the three entrants in the WWE Title match at WrestleMania will take turns controlling the match-making ability for all three men on the three Raws remaining before WrestleMania. John Cena had control last week, Randy Orton will have control this week, and Triple H will have control next week.

– Shawn Michaels attempted to back out of his match with Ric Flair at WrestleMania, claming he didn’t want to end Flair’s career.

– Jeff Hardy gave Chris Jericho a Twist of Fate during Jericho’s Highlight Reel. In fairness, it was self defense.

– Mae Young was announced as the next entrant in the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2008.

– Maria unveiled her Playboy cover, while standing up to Santino Marella. Jerry Lawler knocked Santino out of the ring during the argument.

– JBL attacked Hornswoggle at the medical facility where he was recovering while Finlay watched from the arena. JBL challenged Finlay to a match at WrestleMania.

ECW on Sci Fi – March 4th

Match Results

– John Morrison and The Miz defeated Tommy Dreamer and Colin Delaney to retain the WWE Tag Titles (DQ, Delaney hit Miz and Morrison with a chair)
– Shelton Benjamin defeated Stevie Richards (pinfall, high angle DDT)
– Kane defeated James Curtis (pinfall, chokeslam)
– Chavo Guerrero defeated CM Punk to retain the ECW Title (pinfall, Frog Splash)

Notes

– Colin Delaney and Tommy Dreamer were granted a rematch for the WWE Tag Titles under Extreme Rules for this week’s ECW on Sci Fi

TNA Impact! – March 6th

Match Results

– Kevin Nash defeated AJ Styles in a Street Fight (pinfall, chokeslam)
– Curry Man won a Battle Royal to earn the right to name the stipulation for his match at Destination X
– Tomko defeated Samoa Joe in a First Blood match (Joe bleeds slightly from the arm)
– Rhino defeated Judas Mesias (pinfall, Gore)
– Awesome Kong defeated Salinas (pinfall, Kong Bomb)
– Christian Cage defeated Kurt Angle in a Six Sides of Steel match (escaping the cage)

Notes

– Curry Man made his tag match against Team 3D at Destination X a “Fish Market Street Fight”, and if Team 3D fails to make weight, they are gone from TNA

– Rhino destroyed the TNA Drinking Championship

– It was announced that Booker T vs Robert Roode at Destination X would be a Strap Match, and the loser’s valet (Traci Brooks or Peyton Banks) would receive ten lashes from the winner’s valet

– By winning 2 of the 3 matches involving the Angle Alliance vs the Unlikely Alliance, Christian, Nash, and Joe will start their Destination X match with a five minute 3-on-2 advantage.

WWE Smackdown – March 7th

Match Results

– CM Punk, Jesse and Festus defeated Chavo Guerrero, John Morrison and The Miz (Festus pinned Miz, Flapjack Slam)
– MVP defeated Batista to retain the United States Title (countout)
– Kane defeated Chuck Palumbo (pinfall, chokeslam)
– Big Show defeated Jamie Noble (DQ, Noble lowblows Show)
– Edge, Curt Hawkins, and Zach Ryder defeated The Undertaker (Edge pinned Taker, Spear)

Notes

– Ric Flair vs Edge, Hawkins and Ryder in a Steel Cage Match was announced for this week’s Smackdown

– Jamie Noble and Michelle McCool agreed to see other people

– Eve, Cherry, Michelle McCool, Victoria and Maryse began a Swimsuit Contest which will run for the next four weeks, with the Diva receiving the lowest votes from the fans eliminated each week.

Who’s Holding Gold

WWE

WWE Champion: Randy Orton
– 155 day reign
– defeated Triple H on October 7th (No Mercy PPV)
– Last Man Standing stipulation
– Next title defense: vs Triple H and John Cena, WrestleMania 24

World Heavyweight Champion: Edge
– 85 day reign
– defeated Batista on December 16th (Armageddon PPV)
– triple threat stipulation involving The Undertaker
– Next title defense: vs The Undertaker, WrestleMania 24

ECW World Champion: Chavo Guerrero
– 48 day reign
– defeated CM Punk on January 22nd (ECW on SciFi)

WWE Intercontinental Champion: Jeff Hardy
– 189 day reign
– defeated Umaga on September 3rd (Raw)

WWE United States Champion: MVP
– 295 day reign
– defeated Chris Benoit on May 20th (Judgment Day PPV)
– 2/3 Falls stipulation

World Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly
– 92 day title reign
– defeated Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch on December 10th (Raw)

WWE Tag Team Champions: John Morrison and The Miz
– 115 day reign
– defeated MVP and Matt Hardy on November 16th (Smackdown)
– Next title defense: vs Colin Delaney and Tommy Dreamer, ECW on SciFi, Extreme Rules stipulation

WWE Women’s Champion: Beth Phoenix
– 155 day reign
– defeated Candice Michelle on October 7th (No Mercy PPV)

TNA

TNA Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle
– 137 day reign
– defeated Sting on October 25th (Impact)
– Next title defense: vs Samoa Joe, Lockdown PPV

TNA Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles and Tomko
– 148 day reign
– defeated Team Pacman on October 14th (Bound For Glory PPV)

TNA X-Division Champion: “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal
– 29 day reign
– defeated Johnny Devine on February 10th (Against All Odds PPV)
– Hardcore Street Fight involving the Motor City Machine Guns and Team 3-D

TNA Knockouts Champion: Awesome Kong
– 60 day reign
– defeated Gail Kim on January 10th (Impact)

The Injury Bug Bites

Inactive List as of 03.03.08

WWE

– Gregory Helms, SD!, out one year as of May 17th (neck surgery)
– Kenny Dykstra, SD!, out indefinitely as of January 18th (knee)
– Matt Hardy, SD!, out 1-3 months as of November 20th (appendix)
– Rey Mysterio, SD!, out 6-9 months (or maybe weeks) as of February 21 (torn bicep)
– Rory McAllister, RAW, out indefinitely as of February 12th (torn pectoral)
– The Boogeyman, ECW, out indefinitely (calf)
– Torrie Wilson, SD!, out 2-3 weeks as of December 1st (back)

TNA

No reported injuries

Transactions

No transactions worth noting.

Links For Fun And Nonprofit

Larry’s live coverage of Destination X.

Byers and Prag have the weekend news reports.

From the glowing box, Slimmer has Heat, Borchardt has Smackdown, Dunn has ROH Rising Above, and Byers and Larry have Impact.

Clark has The Shimmy.

The Triple Threat talks Destination X and Christian Cage.

Minotti has Can They Be Champ?

Short has The Navigation Log.

Ari has Column of Honor.

Sforcina has Evolution Schematic.

And Corke has The Seventh Dimension.

The Gab Bag

I’d like to inform the legions of people who are up in arms for me not knowing who John Legend is (sue me, R&B is not my music of choice), that after his appearance on the Colbert Report, I’m now aware of who he is. Of course, after his appearance, I’d now like to hear Stephen Colbert sing America The Beautiful at WrestleMania. Now that would be some quality patriotism.

And apparently I forgot to mention that last Monday was the fifth anniversary of 411Wrestling becoming 411Mania. In all fairness, there’s really a more important fifth anniversary that I have my focus on, in roughly 8 months. Hey, let’s not forget what this report is all about. Me.

And One To Go On

411 will have live coverage of tonight’s three hour Raw starting at 8 pm EDT. That’s our show, before we go, a special announcement for all you dorks, geeks and nerds out there, and since this is a wrestling site, I’m going to assume that’s most of you. Co-founder of Dungeons and Dragons, and the sole reason why 20-sided dice exist, Gary Gygax passed away this past week. His indirect influence on my formative years have made me the well-rounded nerd I am today, and as long as there are socially underdeveloped young adults looking for something to occupy their lunch hours, Gary Gygax will never be forgotten.

Nerd.

What was that, Larry?

You heard me.

Actually, I’m not sure I did. Roll 1d20 to see if your verbal attack lands.

Oh, right.

*roll*

Is a 1 good?

Ooh, I’m sorry, Larry, but a bolt of lightning hits you and you die.

Crap. Okay, I’m going to re-roll a new character. Give me the Handbook, I’ll be ready in ten minutes.

I’ll be here. Larry Csonka, ladies and gentlemen. He’s in tomorrow, I’ll be back next week, including (and this time I’m sure) my long-awaited return to Hidden Highlights. Godspeed, Gary.

Have a good one, and always be a fan.