Truth B Told 3.13.08: Crowded House

Posted by Bayani Domingo on 03.13.2008

Something so strong as the debate on “crowd etiquette” at wrestling shows can’t escape the critical eye of TBT for very long. While we might hope to quell the argument this week, don’t for a minute dream it’s over.

I'm going to go on record right now and say that the current venue that Pro Wrestling Guerrilla is running in Reseda is by FAR the worst venue they have ever had. I hate the Reseda American Legion Hall like Vince Russo hates logic…and Canadians. It's true. There are several reasons why this venue sucks, chief among them are the tiny size of the venue, the general Gestapo attitude of the people that run it including a crazy ass, drunken, and creepy old man, and the fact that the crowd seems to be more drunk and more idiotic than in any other venue. I have never been frisked before entering a wrestling show before and I'm still not sure what the point of it was. What's worse is that the venue constantly tries to ply the crowd with more and more alcohol as the show progresses. I know that this is going to be a very unpopular thing to say, but to be honest I think wrestling and alcohol go together about as well as Keira Knightly and a meal. There are these "unwritten rules" all around wrestling but is there really such a thing as "good wrestling fan etiquette"?

Clearly there are very different categories of fans depending on where you are and what you watch. When you watch AAA or CMLL it is clear that the lucha fans react in a much different way than the puro fans do in Japan. The fans on Monday Night RAW have a different reaction than your average RoHbot. Even within the same group of fans you have different reactions and attitudes based on where the market is. The Mid-South, New York, LA, Canada, pretty much anywhere that the WWE runs they get a slightly different reaction to the product and the wrestlers. I say "slightly", but if you've ever seen the shows in Madison Square Garden, Philly, or Montreal you know that the term "slightly" is fully up for interpretation. It's like saying, "Yeah, that chick had a slightly glass eye...but if you've never had a ‘socket job' before...whoa boy". I'm not going to go over the differences in fan reactions and attitudes because...I believe I've done that column before. The real question is whether there truly is a "proper" way to act at a wrestling show. Is it the Japanese who are politely quiet as a show of "respect" to the wrestlers, the raucous (read: drunk) fans in Mexico who have been known to throw food, beer bottles, and small children into the ring when they don't care for the rudos's tactics, even being known to riot at times, or maybe your average CZW crowd... yep, both guys. Clearly sitting on your hands like they do in Japan wouldn't work in the US because wrestlers here really rely on the crowd participation and reaction. But I can't imagine that anyone wants to deal with a couple dozen people blowing horns all night long and throwing their churros at the wrestlers. There has to be a happy medium.

I'm going to start with the first philosophy of wrestling fans: You pay your money, you should be free to do, say, or act however you please. If you are in a movie theater or a play then that would be incorrect. I hate people who talk during movies or during a play. They belong in the same wing of hell as people who text message on the freeway while driving, people who come up to you right as you get to a piece of gym equipment and ask you "how many more sets do you have" when they JUST saw you walk up to it, and Ryan Seacrest. Fuck that guy. With a Clay Aiken. But wrestling isn't "theater" no matter how much we like to apply the "half sport/half theatrics" label to wrestling.

If you look at fan reaction from a "sports' point of view then maybe that applies better. Although I thought it would have been pretty damn funny if a fan would have leaned over the rail and grabbed the "Feast or Famine" briefcase out of BG James' hands while he was booed by the crowd for the rest of the show. Then again I could see the fans throwing batteries at Black Reign. Fans at most games show their displeasure or glee quite freely during a game, either booing or cheering on their favorite teams, the differences are quite different. There is a clear cresendo when it comes to basketball, the last minute of the 4th quarter, the bottom of the 9th in a baseball game, or...whatever Hockey has. What is it? Periods? That doesn't even sound enticing, it sounds like a trip to go get some contraptions with "wings" at midnight on a Wednesday. But I digress, there is a natural flow to a game and unless there is a tie, extra innings, over time, etc, there is one long game played. In wrestling there are anywhere from 6 to 10 matches. With near falls, run-ins, and screw jobs it's hard to keep your energy up and your head in the game. Imagine if you had to watch 9 one-quarter basketball games in a row.

While I think the big appeal of wrestling, especially on the Indy side, is that "fan participation" is such a big part of it, I think there is a line. There is "getting into a show" and "going overboard". As much as fan reaction is a part of the whole showman ship you have to make sure that as a fan you don't try to "become the show". There is a point where you go from "reacting" to "instigating" and in some cases that's just obnoxious as hell. It's like going to a comedy show and trying to yell out jokes or punch lines to the comedian. Look, you wouldn't jump on stage at a strip club and start twirling around the pole would you? Then why would you want to stand up and start shouting incessantly at Bryan Danielson when he easily knows 3 times more killing holds than your average stripper. Unless they work around Compton or South Central LA, then maybe only twice.

The philosophy of "pay for your ticket and do what you want" just doesn't fly with me. I think in any situation there is always some sort of rule of conduct, at least a few simple ones. Clearly the #1 rule is that you don't put your hands on a wrestler. I think the quickest way to a Chris Hero style beat down is thinking that you're "part of the show" and it's all in fun. Yeah, try telling that to Super Dragon or HHH when you decide to slide into a wrestling ring. The #2 rule you don't throw shit. That might fly in Mexico, but not in the U.S. Then again, a lot of things fly in Mexico I don't want here...although my favorite Donkey Show place just recently became a T.G.I.Friday's so maybe I wouldn't mind another one relocating up here. No fat chicks though. Okay, fat chicks...but I draw the line at mustaches. Rule #3; if you try to start a chant and it doesn't work the first 2 times...just let it go. I seriously had to listen through like 5 straight minutes of a retard in the 2nd row of a PWG show chanting "baby nuts" at Human Tornado. Baby...nuts. Yeah. That one was going to end up on a t-shirt sometime soon. Rule #4...have fun, but don't ruin someone else's fun in the process. That's why I'm not a HUGE fan of alcohol at wrestling venues because all it takes is a couple of idiots who don't know when to say when to just become so distracting that it takes away from the matches. I just don't see why you'd pay $20 or $50 for a ticket and a seat and then want to get so belligerently drunk that you have no idea who is even in the ring. #5 is fairly obvious but seldom observed; do NOT stand up for large portions of a wrestling show if you are in the front row or hold up a sign for an hour and a half because you hope that your "Snitsky needs to move to Canada for the free Dental care with the U.S. lacks due to their inability to pass a universal health care reform bill" is so witty. For one thing, you are in the FRONT ROW, you have nothing hindering you from seeing the match from where you sit, now you've just forced everyone in back of you to stand for the entire show because they can't see over you and your 13 year old Bre Hart t-shirt. Also, there are appropriate times to hold the sign up, when I'm sitting in back of you ready to levy a missle drop kick from the top of my chair is not one of them. C'mon, a little courtesy people. Finally, #6 is simply "respect the wrestlers". That one is probably the hardest rule and most open to interpretation.

When I talk about "respect" it means not yelling a female wrestlers to "show you their tits", "punch her in the cooch", or "hey...just FUCK already". It doesn't mean you should try to stand up in the face of a "heel" just to show your friends you're a big man and then get all pissed off if they actually lay a hand on you for getting in their face. It basically means letting them do their job. You don't have to cheer all the "faces" and boo all the "heels", it doesn't mean you sit on your hands or don't make noise or clap or cheer, all it means is that you let them do their job and you don't get in the way. React how you want, but just let the paid entertainers do the entertaining.

Basically we all know what is obnoxious and what is appropriate. The real problem with fans is that sometimes we just decide that we are a better show than the wrestlers are. Everyone makes comments during a match, maybe a joke or observation, but a whole conversation is just ridiculous. When I hear commentators call Montreal "Bizzaro world" for cheering Orton and booing Cena it makes me chuckle because clearly as fans we have our own ideas and preferences. Whether you call it being a "smark" or being and individual you can call it just being a fan. We participate, we are vocal, we think that our opinions matter, and sometimes they do, but let's face it, no one is going to go changing the way they do business because 3 guys decided to bring a "Jamie Noble: Next World Champ" sign to an arena. Be a fan, be heard, be entertained, but don't be the show. In case you forgot, I also paid my $20 to see a show, unfortunately, YOU weren't on the card I paid to see.

The Truth

Let's face it; there are no "wrestling etiquette rules". No basic rules of conduct, no law of the jungle, it's basically whatever you want to do and can get away with without being thrown out of a venue or beaten with your own Spinner replica belt outside by the annoyed fan in front of you. It's just basically a matter of making sure your fun doesn't interfere with other's fun. How do you balance enjoyment with courtesy? The hell if I know, I just go to the shows to hang out with friends, crack a few jokes, and yell at Joey Ryan. No matter where you are, what you watch, or how you enjoy wrestling annoying fans are just a part of the equation. Hey, $20 don't buy you what it used to.

Coming Up Short

So Wrestlemania is set to feature the following title matches: WWE Title, World Heavyweight Title, ECW Title, and the… um…yep, that's about it. No Intercontinental Title, no US Title, no Women's, no Cruiser, no Tag Titles…and the ECW Title match has absolutely NO hype because we won't find out the opponent until during the show. Great. It's like during big shows the secondary belts and the tag divisions don't even matter. For as much as they try to improve the women's division they basically turn it into a lingerie show and strip club. Which, yeah, maybe I don't mind so much since it brings us the bootlicious Kim Kardashian. But still it seems like a lot of the work done to try to build up the under card during the rest of the year goes out of the toilet during the "Road to Wrestlemania" so we have more room for 50 Cent and Snoop Doggy Dogg. So with a show this big, it seems a shame that Wrestlemania is coming up short on ACTUAL title matches.

6 Degrees of…



Double C

Yes! Default! One of my favourite words, next to "sisters" and "free" (especially in combination). Actually, would have liked to have some competition. C'mon people. Let's see some entries!

This week I'm going back to one of my favourite wrestlers from the late 80's, One Man Gang. As Akeem the African Dream he got the most publicity, but he was by far the better character, and had better matches, as the One Man Gang. As to who to link him up with, I tried to figure out who else is pretty much a one man gang, and the answer came quite easily...John Rambo. What did he have, 4,285 kills in the latest Rambo movie? Wow. So, good friends, link One Man Gang to Sylvester Stallone. Go and be successful.

If you had to face OMG or Rambo in a street fight, who would you pick? Well if you're Asian you pick One Man Gang, because there is nothing that Rambo likes doing more than killing Asian folks…believe it.



Whatchu talkin' bout readers?

Nothing much I guess. I'm debating whether to use this section to reply to some of the comments made in the "Comments" section like other columnists have been doing, but I just feel like it's the lazy way out. Anyone can bitch and moan about a column if they hate it if all they have to do is type it out in poor English and hit "Send". It takes a REAL lunatic to take the time to actually e-mail me death threats. I don't know, you guys decide, "comments" or "e-mail"?

6 Degrees Results

#3


As for this week, here's my entry. Kinda heavy on the wrestling side, but it's all I could do in the 10 minutes I had to devote to it this week:

1. Robert Irvine appeared on the December 2007 episode of Iron Chef America in a dessert battle against Cat Cora.
2. Cat Cora was featured in the cooking section of the September 2006 issue of FHM. The cover girl of that issue was Torrie Wilson.
3. Torrie Wilson appeared in the March 2004 issue of Playboy in a pictorial with Rena Mero.
4. Rena Mero, aka Sable, made her debut in the WWE escorting Hunter Hearst Helmsley to the ring at Wrestlemania XII in March 1996.
5. Hunter is, like, BFF with Ric Flair. The two of them have teamed, fought and made up so many times I've lost count.
6. At the 2007 Royal Rumble, Ric Flair was entry #1, and began the rumble match with entry #2, Finlay.

Double C

BFF? What about Double A?

#2

Kyle Rieger

First time I've sent one of these in, but I worked it out rather quickly.

1. Robert Irvine hosted Dinner Impossible where he had to cook for a group of magicians with Moto Restaurant head chef Homaro Cantu and Neil Patrick Harris
2. Neil Patrick Harris is also known as the NPH when he interrupts Harold and Kumar's quest for White Castle
3. The Restaurant White Castle is what Wrestlecrap Founder RD Reynolds was hoping the WCW mini movie involving The White Castle of Fear would be about.
4. The White Castle of Fear was one of three mini movies featuring WCW's early 90's midget du jour Cheatem
5. Who has his spiritual successor in the form of one Hornswoggle McMahon for the modern WWE.
6. And who is Hornswoggle's sworn protector, his potential real father, FINLAY.

The White Castle link may be a stretch, but if that mini movie was about Sting and Vader fighting over hamburgers, it would be a license to print money.

I'm going to have to agree with the "White Castle" link, very creative, but didn't quite make the cut this week. Maybe next week Kyle.

#1.

You gotta have more than one entry, so I'll do what I can. Besides, I'm at work, and I'm bored.

Robert Irvine had Neil Patrick Harris as his special guest sous-chef in the episode entitled "Magicians Meal".
Neil Patrick Harris supplied the voice for Spider-Man in the 2003 animated series. Voicing the character of Alison Tomita in the same series is Suchin Pak.
Suchin Pak starred as a newscaster in the film Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo with Rob Schneider.
Rob Schneider appeared on the 08/01/2005 episode of Raw to judge the Queen of the Mountain contest for the 2005 Diva Search, of which Ashley Massaro participated.
Ashley Massaro at one time dated V1 himself, Matt Hardy.
Matt Hardy won via DQ against Fit Finlay on 01/20/2006 in Finlay's first televised WWE match.

John Houston

Probably one of the better entries this year and it had a good mix of TV/Film/Wrestling. Good job Houston, we don't have a problem. *rim shot*. What? They all can't be gems. You're up next week Johnny, git ‘er done.

Left Overs…

Lita was recently taken to the hospital for "unknown reasons" and had to cancel a Luchagors concert. Lita herself released a statement blaming "voice loss" as the reason. Apparently the doctors found she had something stuck in her throat. After they dislodged the bass player, drummer, and roadie Lita was released from the E.R.

MVP recently qualified for the MitB match on a house show by beating Jamie Noble. Which is indeed a difficult task. I mean, not as hard as being Cody Rhodes or Val Venis to qualify but MAN that was a real nail biter. I'm surprised they didn't make MVP battle Torrie Wilson in a hot dog eating contest to qualify instead.

I have the feeling that Eddie Kingston would actually talk shit to Jesus Christ. "It took you how many days to rise from the grave? Three? Damn…your work rate is for shit, son".

Lent is for ‘quitters'.

Jeff Hardy was reportedly suspended for 60 days for his 2nd "Wellness" violation. All the signs were there when you think about it; Jeff Hardy was looking suspiciously skinnier in recent weeks, he requested Amy Winehouse as his entrance music, he seemed to be talking to fans and reporters in a fake British accent, plus he had just renewed his subscription to "Heroin Aficionado".

Matt Morgan is YOUR next new American Gladiator. When asked what his current profession is Morgan told the interviewers that he basically stands in the ring, got hired based on having a good "look", gets involved in storylines, but doesn't actually currently wrestle. With that he officially had to change his occupation to "Diva" on the application.

Wrestlemania reportedly has 62,000 tickets sold already. Amazing, you realize that during WM weekend the average age in Florida will drop a whole 5 years…to 78.

Mistico sending feelers out to TNA? TNA should jump on the opportunity to have him wrestle a few matches as Mistico is still considered very big in Mexico…because Mexicans are generally pretty short.

The Great Booty Debate 2008

Don't call it a comeback… Looks like with the help of the gamerlicious Oliva Munn the Asian bitches have tied it up this week. We'll stick with the sci-fi theme this week and we'll match up a "Hero" against a Space Traveler as Dania Ramirez "Battles" the "Star" of Galactica (in my opinion) Grace Park.

Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



Grace Park...I think I used to play tee ball there.

Random Latina Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



Remember X3? Yeah she was the hot Morlock who DIDN'T look like a dude...

Sting is reportedly returning to TNA ‘In a few months'. This is after he said he'd probably retire from wrestling a few months back…which is a year after he said he was REALLY going to retire. He just pops up every couple of months after being dormant for a while. Sting is quickly becoming the ‘herpes type 2' of wrestling. I'm not referring to a "comeback" when talking about him returning anymore, it's now an "outbreak" of Sting. Samoa Joe will probably feud with upon his return until he finally retires him with the help of his newest valet, SoCal Val-Trex.

VH1 is in production for their newest show "Brooke Knows Best". It's reportedly half reality show based on her life and half dating show featuring the Hulkster.

Pimpin' In High Places

The Wrestlemania coverage is heating up already at 411, each week we'll be featuring special WM related columns. Unfortunately TBT won't be part of it as my original idea, "Greatest Pete Rose Wrestlemania Moments" was rejected:

Ask 411 talks about "Heated Feuds". If anyone knows about "feuds" it's Steve Cook. The man has had some legendary feuds in the past including; Randle, yours truly, sobriety, literacy, and fashion traditionalists who claim that wearing white panties after labor day is still taboo.

Jules has his "Surprisingly Good Matches" this week. My choice is Ashton and Demi. Seriously, who have thunk it?

A-Matt tackles the Jeff Hardy suspension as well as Destination X. Actually I think that's the store Hardy got his stuff from when he was busted. The ‘agents' got worried when they found out Hardy had been washing his hands for 25 straight minutes in the bathroom.

Rutherford has his "Wrestlemania 24 Countdown" column this week with a look at past WM great matches. Like Diesel and Pam Anderson.

JayTee takes you back to Wrestlemania 23 where he gives you his live account of the happenings. There is this great little anecdote about his experience in the mezzanine level bathroom where he claims he has a "wide stance"…sorry, don't wanna spoil it for you.

CoH Rises Above this week and talks about the RoH PPV. Was anyone raped by Bobby Dempsey this time week? Stay tuned.

HH talks about a little Candice/Maria kiss. Okay it was a fake kiss on the air. But not in my head….oh…oh yeah…that's what I'm talkin' about.

I feel weird saying this but I actually agree with Lansdell this week as he talks about the commentating teams. I haven't been a big JR and King fan and I've been pretty vocal about it. There shtick is getting real old, real fast. At one point I'd love to hear JR say, "King you are a…actually, I wouldn't mind slobbering on her knockers either…STONE COLD, STONE COLD!" By the way, someone get that kid a PWG DVD and hit "alternative commentary". Rookie.

Well I got suckered again people. I got goaded into joining the 411mania Fantasy Baseball league this year. I'm fairly unfamiliar with the "head to head" format. I actually thought it was a euphemism for a 69. silly me. The draft happens tonight…while I'm still at work *damn this East Coast bias*, so unless I can miraculously figure a way to load the applet or whatever it is on my work computer and not get caught I'll be relying on "auto draft" to deliver me the following line-up: Benito Santiago, Kevn Maas, Fernando Vina, Rey Quinones, Chris Sabo, Kevin Mitchell, Jerome Walton, and Ichiro. What? I love me some Ichiro. Damn, anyone with a good "cheat sheet" holla atcha boy. Otherwise, pray I wrangle up a high pick for Rob Dibble. I'll give you the autopsy next week.

Till then, the Truth will set you free.

-B