The Custom Made News Report 03.16.08

Posted by Ryan Byers on 03.16.2008

2008 3-16 says we're halfway through the month of March.

Welcome, one and all, to the Custom Made News report. Things were very quiet in the world of wrestling last week, but they've definitely picked up in the past seven days as he hit the home stretch of the (relatively boring) build to Wrestlemania. Let's take a look at all of grappling's goings on.

All the Stuff from Stamford

From Bad to Worse for Hardy

Everybody knows that Jeff Hardy recently received his second suspension under WWE's wellness policy. This will cause him to miss Wrestlemania, at which he was a heavy favorite to win a WWE Title shot and perhaps the championship itself later in the year. It's been all over the net, and you can find in depth coverage on this very site from both Meehan and the Moral Virus. (Meehan and the Moral Virus? Now there's a sitcom waiting to happen . . .) I have a hard time feeling bad for Jeff in this situation, given that he brought the entire situation on himself. He ingested whatever he ingested fully knowing the potential consequences, and now he has to live with them. Things are even worse given that there are now rumors that the drugs in his system were "recreational" in nature, which means you can't even make the argument that he was backed in to the drug test failure by the culture that professional wrestling promotes, which would be a plausible position if we were dealing with steroids or painkillers.

I do have to feel bad for the Team X-Treme member given the more recent turn his life as taken, though. According to the Wrestling Observer, Hardy was recently informed that his home in Cameron, North Carolina burned to the ground on Friday night. Though no person has been injured, current reports indicate that virtually all of his property was destroyed and that his pet dog was lost. I certainly hope that Jeff had decent homeowner's insurance and that there aren't any difficulties in processing the eventual claim. Those things can be a real pain. It's also worth noting that, as of this writing, no cause for the fire has been determined.

Rocky a No Go for Wrestlemania

According to PW Insider, the Rock may be announced as appearing at the WWE Hall of Fame ceremony, but none of us should expect to see him on the Wrestlemania show proper. The man currently known as Dwayne Johnson, who is set to induct both his father and his grandfather in to the HOF, will be busy throughout 'Mania Sunday, as he is scheduled to work on one of his upcoming motion pictures, a modern take on the 1975 children's movie Escape to Witch Mountain.

It will be interesting to see how WWE handles this situation. I think that half of the appeal of getting the Rock to appear at the Hall of Fame ceremony was that fans will begin to think that, if he's there, he will also pop up on the following night's card. However, if Rock does induct his ancestors and then does not step on to the grandest stage of all, there is a distinct possibility that several fans will walk away from the show somewhat disappointed. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to argue that the non-appearance of Dwayne Johnson will absolutely ruin the show for anybody. It could, however, result in a few people having their buzz from the biggest show of the year cooled off just a little bit. The question, though, is what exactly WWE can do in order to prevent this from happening. Do they actively announce the fact that the Rock will not be on Mania? That effort would seem misguided, as their promotional efforts should focus on what will happen, not those things which we will not see. Do they remain silent and respond to criticisms with, "We never said he'd be there, doofus?" That won't exactly comfort those who do wind up annoyed and in fact may bother them more. In the long run, it seems as though it almost may have been worth it to keep the former People's Champion away from Mania altogether. After all, the way things stand now, it seems that his appearance is not going to benefit business in any way and may actually negatively impact some fans' perception of the show. The smarter move may have been holding this induction off to a year in which Johnson would be free on two consecutive nights. Of course, who knows whether that will actually happen again in a year in which the man is actually relevant to folks outside of professional wrestling.

Title Strap Scrapped

I don't normally pick up news for this column from WWE.com. In fact, I can count the number of times per year that I go to the E's official website on one hand. However, something significant did happen on that site recently, and I'm ready to devote a fair amount of time to talking about it. Of course, I should preface this by saying that this event is probably more significant to me than it is to the vast majority of folks reading this column. If you're somebody who just got in to wrestling five years ago, you probably don't give a damn. If you're somebody who was glued to the WWF product throughout the 1990's and never once switched over to WCW, you almost definitely won't care. Yet, for those of you that were as obsessed with all things Monday Nitro as I was between the years of 1996 and 1999, you're probably feeling the same way that I am.

Anyway, enough beating around the bush. Just a few short days ago, the WWE Cruiserweight Title was officially moved in to the "retired championships" section of WWE.com. This is the final nail in the coffin of the title, which was vacated on September 25 of last year and barely if ever referenced on television afterwards. Of course, it had been several years since the championship had been pushed in any meaningful way, as you can argue that WWE rarely if ever did anything with it and that its last few years of existence in WCW (the promotion from which the E acquired the title) were far from spectacular. Yet, there is a generation of fans for whom the ole' CW belt has a special significance which I think very few people who weren't around at the time of its peak can truly understand.

I don't mean to come off as one of those people who has bellyached for the last six or seven years that WWE is "disgracing" professional wrestling by not providing a vibrant cruiser division to its fans. Frankly, I don't care what WWE does in that regard. It's they're business, not mine. However, what I am saying is that I have so many fond memories wrapped up in the glory days of WCW's cruiserweight division that I am a little sad to see its championship finally bite the dust. That division introduced me to a style of professional wrestling that I had never seen before. After several years of sporadic Great Muta or Jushin Liger appearances, that division let me know for certain that there was real, legitimate professional wrestling outside of the United States, both in Japan and in Mexico. It lead me to seeking out Psicosis and Shinjro Ohtani matches from abroad, which in turn took me further in to the puro and lucha scenes and ultimately lead me to joshi, the United States independents, and various old school territorial wrestling that I wouldn't have known of if I had only relied on the versions of history supplied by major North American promotions. That belt was the jumping off point from which I learned that there was more than just one style of promoting wrestling and more than just one style of executing matches. If I had never been exposed to that variety, I honestly believe that I would have burned myself out on wrestling years ago and probably wouldn't be writing this column today.

The cruiserweight division didn't just impact me, though. In a lot of ways, it had some significant effectss on the entirety of the American pro wrestling industry. It almost singlehandedly introduced us to the huricanrana and popularized numerous other moves that are now commonplace in even heavyweight matches. It turned Chris Jericho, Eddy Guerrero, and Rey Misterio in to hot commodities in professional wrestling, serving as their launching pad in to the WWF, where they became legitimate superstars and World Champions. It resulted in Juventud Guerrera receiving numerous years of employment from major American companies, which in turn resulted in great backstage stories about him running naked through Australian hotels and traveling with Bob Orton, Jr. because nobody else on the roster wanted to put up with his crap.

Yes, the title was largely irrelevant for over half of its existence. However, it had a hell of a three year run which produced numerous epic matches and memorable personalities, and it had a profound effect on my life as a wrestling fan. As such, I'll miss the little mess of leather and gold, even if it did spend time around the waists of Madusa, Oklahoma, Chavo Guerrero, Sr., and the Little Bastard.

I think I'll mourn a bit this weekend by popping in my best of Ultimo Dragon compilation and pouring out a 40. Feel free to do the same.

Random Video Interlude

This is only tangentially related to wrestling, but I figured that I would pass it along since it RULES. Check out this orchestral version of Europe's "Final Countdown," also known as the entrance music of Sara Del Rey and Brian Danielson.

(Fun fact: Sara actually used the song first.)



To view videos that have appeared in previous editions of the Custom Made News Report, be sure to check out my new YouTube page.

IT'S COMING

On April 6, 2008, the Custom Made News Report will begin its latest lengthy, multi-part feature in the vein of last year's Great WWE Countdown. What will the subject matter be? For how long will it run? Will I drive myself crazy attempting to write it?

You'll have to stay turned to find out.

The Word from Dixieland

TNA Scouting Report III: X Cup Edition

Earlier this week, the Wrestling Observer Newsletter confirmed something that has been rumored for several months now . . . namely that TNA will be reviving its World X Cup in 2008, with the series of matches featuring international competitors concluding at Sacrifice. (That's the May PPV for those of you who have as much trouble keeping track of the company's generic event names as I do.)

The WON also revealed that there will be US, Canadian, Japanese, and Mexican teams in this year's version of the event. The States will be represented by Jay Lethal, Sonjay Dutt, and the Murder City Machine Guns, while the Canadian unit will be comprised of Petey Williams, Johnny Devine, Tyson Dux (a Scott D'Amore trainee who appeared in the 2006 X Cup), and a fourth competitor to be named. There currently are no plans for the Japanese and Mexican wrestlers to be used. Of course, this provides me with the perfect opportunity to bust out one of my favorite gimmicks for the column . . . THE TNA SCOUTING REPORT~! I debuted this little feature several months ago, during a period at which TNA was considering bringing in a ton of new regular talent. I followed it up more recently, during a period at which the company was rumored to be expanding its women's division. Now it's time to focus on international talent, with the following being my unofficial suggestions to Total Nonstop Action as to who they should bring in for their big series of matches.

With that background, let's take a look at my proposed teams . . .




Team Canada: Petey Williams, Johnny Devine, Tyson Dux, & Max Boyer

Of course, as noted above, three fourths of Team Canada is already locked in to place. However, that's not going to stop me from making a recommendation for slot number four. I know that, in all likelihood, we're going to wind up with a member of Scott D'Amore's Border City Wrestling roster rounding out the team. I don't necessarily have a problem with that. After all, D'Amore has produced some great talent like Williams, Dux, Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley, and Bobby Roode. However, I think it's time to give some Canadian wrestlers with less direct ties to BCW a chance, and that's why I'd like to see twenty-three year old Quebec native Max Boyer given the opportunity to step up in to TNA. Boyer, who is heavily influenced by the same style of wrestling utilized by the Dynamite Kid and Chris Benoit, has taken several opportunities to work with some of Canada's most prolific trainers, including Jacques Rougeau and Rob Fuego. In addition to being a regular for Canada's International Wrestling Syndicate, the man known as "Canadian Dynamite" also made wave's in Pennsylvania's CHIKARA promotion in 2006 and 2007. While a part of the Chikky Pro roster, Boyer won the company's coveted Young Lions' Cup, a distinction that has also been bestowed upon indy up and comers like Chuck Taylor, Jigsaw, and Larry Sweeney. Though he's young and could stand to bulk up a little bit before becoming a regular on the national scene, a few weeks' run with TNA as part of the X Cup could be exactly what Boyer needs to begin his steps towards prominence in some of North America's larger independent promotions.




Team Japan: El Samurai, Curry Man, Jado, & Gedo

Though they send their talent to virtually every major Japanese promotion, thusfar TNA's working relationship with New Japan Pro Wrestling has meant that it's predominantly NJPW talent that shows up when Jarrett and company decide that they need a hand from the Land of the Rising Sun. Accordingly, I have mostly limited my search to those individuals currently associated with New Japan. I tried not just to assemble a dream team. I tried to assemble a group of four men that would in all likelihood actually be accessible to TNA. That explains the presence of Curry Man, who, though not actually a wrestler from New Japan, did come from that promotion in TNA's storylines. It also helps to explain the presence of El Samurai, a legendary NJPW junior heavyweight who did not sign a new contract with the promotion at the beginning of this year. However, there are continuing rumors that he will continue to appear on the company's shows as a freelancer. My rationale in including Sammy was not just that he's a great wrestler who for some reason has never gotten the same American exposure as his peer Jushin Liger. It's also that, as an individual who is closely associated with NJPW but is no longer a "regular," TNA could likely snatch him up without ruffling any of New Japan's feathers and without disrupting any of that company's booking plans. Rounding out my proposed Japanese foursome are Jado and Gedo, a tag team with over a decade of experience who have become EXCELLENT asshole heels over the course of the last five or so years. The prospect of a matchup between these two and the Murder City Machine Guns is far too exciting for me to leave them off the list.




Team Mexico: El Hijo del Santo, Skayde, El Hijo de Rey Misterio, & Sicodelico, Jr.

Prior to the last X Cup, there were rumors that TNA attempted to work with both of the major Mexican wrestling promotions to get talent. However, both of those companies (AAA and CMLL) were fairly unresponsive, leaving TNA to assemble a team consisting of one actual star, two Mexican independent wrestlers, and an American. This year, I think TNA should head straight to the indies, saving themselves the headaches of attempting to deal with the more territorial groups. Fortunately for TNA, one of the best and most recognizable wrestlers in Mexico is currently an independent. I'm talking, of course, about El Hijo Del Santo. Santo had a falling out with his former promotion CMLL last year, and I'm sure that he's looking for some way, any way, to remain relevant. American television exposure might just do that for him, though there is always a question of money with Santo, as he has essentially priced himself out of the market when it comes to most Mexican indy groups. It remains to be seen whether he would lower his fees to something reasonable for TNA. Wrestler number two has been more famous as a trainer in recent years, as Jorge "Skayde" Rivera is responsible for working with Ultimo Dragon's Mexican gym, turning out many of the stars who currently populate promotions like Dragon Gate and El Dorado. As he lacks an association with any major Mexican promotion now, he's one of the better wrestlers that TNA could get who will not fear getting involved with the political maelstrom that still exists between Santo and the big two.

Names number three and four bring a little bit of young blood to this otherwise heavily experienced team. The third is Rey Misterio. No, not THAT Rey Misterio. This is El Hijo de Rey Misterio, the legitimate son of the original Rey Rey, who is the uncle of the man currently performing on WWE Smackdown. I realize that El Hjio de Rey would have to adopt a different look and a different name to compete in TNA without raising the ire of WWE's lawyers, but the reviews that he has been getting for his early matches justify the young man getting an opportunity to ply his trade on a larger stage. Last on the list is Sicodelic, Jr., another second generation Mexican star who recently got some exposure in the United States when he participated in the 2007 tournament to crown a new NWA World Heavyweight Champion. He showed that he could work a little bit of American style in to his otherwise lucha libre gameplan, and that would make him a fine fit for TNA.

Fish Injuries Abound at Destination X

The ten of you who ordered TNA's Destination X pay per view were treated to a rather wild scene during the company's "Fish Market Street Fight," which featured Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley brawling with Shark Boy and Curry Man amid a massive pile of fish carcasses. If you think I'm kidding, you're dead wrong. Perhaps the weirdest thing about this match, though, was not the presence of the dead carp. It was the fact that everybody EXCEPT for the wrestlers seemed to get hurt as a result of the match.

According to Figure Four Weekly, as a result of the wrestlers throwing fish at each other, a female fan got wacked in the face by a rather heavy halibut. (Okay, so the type of fish wasn't listed in the F4W report, but I couldn't pass up "heavy halibut" given its alliterative value.) The woman apparently had to be taken backstage so that TNA staff could assist her in icing down her wounds. Things got even worse as a TNA employee was attempting to clean fish juice 'n' guts off of the announcers' table during the match. At this point, another fish was flung, and it smashed in to the back of the employee's head, sending her face first in to the table.

Ladies and gentlemen, your mother always told you to not play "toss the fish" in the house. This is why. People get hurt. This is why TNA can't have nice things, Bubba Dudley. This is why TNA can't have nice things.

Following Up

Here are a couple of small updates to stories that I have discussed in previous editions of the report:

~ For what it's worth, there are now several sources reporting that Jake "The Snake" Roberts has not been contacted for a spot in the WWE Hall of Fame and that he may not even be out of rehab in time for the ceremony. This would be contrary to the lead story that I ran a few weeks ago. Apparently the original source behind the story has officially retracted his prior comments.

~ This comes to us from CHIKARA's King of Trios show, which we have discussed for the last two weeks. It is also the single greatest photograph in the history of professional wrestling:



That's indy wrestler Larry Sweeney alongside Demolition and the One Man Gang. Some of these men have aged well. Some have not.

Feeding Back & Wrapping Up

We've got letters! First up is DG (not the Japanese wrestling promotion) who wants to talk about my TNA PPV preview of last week:

Nitpicking, but I think a valid point: This is Curry Man's first appearance at Destination X, not Christopher Daniels' third. Granted, Daniels IS indeed Curry Man, and they've since added Daniels' eye makeup to the Curry Man mask, but until TNA officially reveals Curry Man as Daniels, I think they should be treated as separate characters.

It's not like Kane has been in Royal Rumbles since the mid 90s, right?

Actually, if you look at my past PPV previews, I've done all of the statistics by wrestler and not character. Thus, I did count Kane's Royal Rumble appearances under different names, and I have used matches occurring back in the Three Minute Warning days for Umaga's stats. I'm not going to speak in kayfabe terms for one part of my column and then turn around and discuss the realities of wrestling in the next.

Frank Pozen, who runs his own blog that in part covers joshi, wants to add a few details to the recent AWA Women's Title changes that I mentioned in last week's column:

Your timeline is incomplete. Yes, Nanae Takahashi won the title in Los Angeles. But then it was stripped from her by an "AWA official" the very next day in a very convoluted fashion. They said she gave up when she was actually telling Kong to give up. In June they did a three way match for the belt and Takahashi became the champ again when Wesna turned on AK during a three way match. After giving the impression that they were planning a program with Takahashi & Azumi Hyuga, SUN instead brought in Jamie D and she won the belt from Takahashi in August. They never did anything with Hyuga. Very stupid. Then Saki Maemura of all people won the belt from Jamie D in October. The retirement of the AWA belt had nothing to do with Sherri Martel. It was a war of words between Dale Gagne & SUN president Yoshiyuki Nakamura. They're both idiots. I don't know what the future of SUN is. They did a Saki Maemura produced show last week but Nanae Takahashi & Natsuki*Taiyo haven't been in the ring all year.

SUN, for those of you who are scratching your heads right now, is one of the few small joshi promotions that still exists in Japan after the bottom fell out of that country's women's wrestling market towards the end of the 90's/early part of the 00's.

And the death of Martel was in fact the reason for the title's retirement as publicly announced by the AWA. Frank is correct when he mentions that there were behind the scenes political maneuverings which lead up to that announcement, though.

And now let's take it home with the links:

~ Believe it or not, this was the week that my THREE HUNDREDTH COLUMN ran on 411mania. It wound up being a review of the DVD release of a movie that nobody has ever heard of. If you want to learn about Blind Dating, just click the link.

~ Column number three-oh-one? You guessed it, the Impact Crater.

~ Dustin James ranked all of the Wrestlemanias. I'd say that he got numbers one, two, and twenty-three right but that everything in between them is a little bit suspect.

~ There was lots of SHIMMER talk on the site this week, and for once it wasn't coming from me. JD Dunn reviewed SHIMMER Volume 1, while Ari Berenstein, perhaps the only guy on the site to keep as current with the product as I do, provided thoughts on Volumes 13 and 14 in his Column of Honor. I found it very odd that Ari and I had very similar feelings about the overall quality of those two shows but that our opinions different greatly as to many of the individual matches.

And that does it for me. Be sure to check out the MySpace, where you can add me as a friend to get a new bulletin notification every time I post a new column on this fine website.