Truth B Told 3.27.08: The Mania XXIV Trinity

Posted by Bayani Domingo on 03.27.2008

If you asked me a week ago if I was looking forward to Wrestlemania this weekend I would have said “No”. But, upon further review, maybe this year’s WM may be the turning point for a few wrestlers after all. Let's look at three men that could steal this year's "Wrestlemania Moment".

I'm not watching Wrestlemania this year. yeah, I know, BLASTPHEMY and so forth and so on, but it's true. I don't have $55 to spend on a show that I'm not that excited about and what's more, I just don't foresee a big "Defining Wrestlemania Moment" happening. I think that having that "Big Moment" is what really defines each Wrestlemania and makes each one special. Then again, it doesn't mean it won't happen and we won't end up with one by the time the show fades to black, but I just don't see it. I look down the card and there are just some matches I don't see as "Wrestlemania Worthy", but then…then I see three matches that stand out. They aren't the "Star making" matches we're used to seeing, they aren't the "Career defining" matches we have seen in the past, but they are "Legacy Makers". If it wasn't for a "Nature Boy", a "Dead man", and dare I say, a "Legend Killer" we might as well just be watching the Great American Bash.

I don't want to piss on anyone's parade, I mean that's the kind of stuff that Andy Clark pays $50 for down in Tijuana, but I'm not impressed with any of the matches on the card. I don't think this year's Wrestlemania has the kind of well built and meaningful matches they've had in the past. It is clear that "Show vs Mayweather" are the main attraction of Wrestlemania and if you're not interested in that match then the rest of the card looks interesting, but just not "Mania worthy" in my opinion. I'll give it up that the MiTB match is always entertaining and especially with no clear favorites this year, but that isn't enough to justify $55. There are however three very intriguing wrestlers this year. three men that I think really should be the focus of this year's WM, but are still dwarfed by a Giant and a Giant Loud Mouth. Ric Flair, Undertaker, and (I feel a little sick even typing this) Randy Orton are the three men who's outcomes will really be what makes this year's Wrestlemania.

While I think there is a clear consensus that this will be Ric Flair's last match, but I think what a lot of people are forgetting is that while Ric Flair IS going to retire at Wrestlemania, there is no guarantee that he will LOSE his last match there. My gut tells me that the match will be "good" but not "great". It has nothing to do with the heart of the men in the ring, but rather the body of one particular man. HBK does two things really great in a match; sell and work a good long paced contest. Unfortunately Ric Flair does two things extremely poor now; make his offense look credible outside of a few chops and the figure four and work longer than 7 minutes without looking blown up. That being said I will give them the benefit of the doubt that the match will be as good as it can be for Flair at his age. The one problem I have is that they waited too long to "turn" HBK into the heel in this contest and what is even more confounding is that HBK still has to induct Flair into the Hall of Fame. While I hope they set aside the "angle" for the ceremony, you just never know.

What really interests me about this match is the outside chance that Flair could actually take the match and then decide to simply retire afterwards by citing that he wanted to go out on top. I think it makes sense in many ways because HBK doesn't need the "rub" and Flair really does deserve to go out on top. Hey, they let Trish Stratus go out as a Champ, are you telling me the "Nature Boy" deserves to go out like Lita? On her back with a balding middle aged guy in chaps on top of him? I've already put in my $.02 about Flair not getting top billing on the card but I think depending on just how well he can go out there and try to recapture even half the magic of the old Naitch I think Flair could have one last great memory to go out on. If he ends up looking like a near 60 year old man in tights wheezing and panting around a ring while watching the lights as the referee counts to 3, then Wrestlemania will have lost a potential "Big Moment".

"The Streak" is probably one of the most infamous "records" in all of wrestling. If we were in a vacuum there would be no doubt that ‘Taker keeping his streak in tact would be inevitable. However, there are two little details which muddy the water a bit. The first is the long held belief that Undertaker will be retiring soon, reportedly within the next year, this means that he might not even make it to another Wrestlemania if this is indeed his last one. The second being that with Flair and possibly ‘Taker retiring and HBK and HHH slowing down a bit the "e" really needs to create that new layer of "Superstars" that will take over for the old guard. John Cena is clearly "The Man", but who else will join him? I think Edge really belongs there with him along with at least one or two other men. Edge being the one to stop "The Streak" would be a MAJOR accomplishment in his career. It would probably cement him as the next in line to inherit the "Top Heel" throne. The chances of that happening are nil, but you got to at least entertain the possibility.

There is really no screw job way out of the ‘taker streak at this point. Winning by DQ won't satisfy anyone and a straight loss will be a major disappointment to the crowd. The problem is that a loss by ‘taker will be more devastating than a loss by Edge and even if Edge wins it doesn't mean he is guaranteed to become a "legend" and it would probably taint the Undertaker's legacy a bit, but not by much. This is a "Catch 22" and in this case I think that the "e" goes safe and let's ‘Taker go over here and perhaps down the line they let Edge get his win back. No harm, no foul, but you have to at least entertain the possibility that the will go "all in" on a big push for Edge here.

The final match-up and the main event slot goes to the Cena/HHH/Orton match and if history tells us anything then it means we'll probably see Cena recapture the title and walk out of Wrestlemania with his head held high and Randy Orton on his back. Then again maybe HHH will take out Orton and set up a feud with Cena after he turns semi-heel. OR…naw, it's almost a given that Orton is going to be eating the pin one way or another. But, why not end ‘Mania on an Orton win? Sure he's the big heel and we all know that we love happy endings. Um…not that kind. Orton is the one guy in this match with the most to gain from a win and if there is a 3rd guy who can occupy that top tier of "Next Generation Superstars". Randy Orton could really be the next HHH, he has this great natural "Dickhead" charisma that only comes around once every 5 or 6 years…or every 5 or 6 wrestling columnists. You gotta be born with it baby!!

To me there would be no stronger message than sending the crowd home with a triumphant Randy Orton holding up the title high in all his homoerotic glory. I know it seems almost a guarantee that a ‘face' is walking out of Wrestlemania as champion, and don't for a second think that the MiTB winner is going to come out and challenge for the title, but I think this might be the year that they change things up a little bit. I mean, c'mon with all the surprises, clusterfucks, and craziness of this year why wouldn't Randy get to walk out with the belt? Oh that's right…this is Wrestlemania. Still, you have to wonder when Vince is finally going to bite the bullet and either let Orton sink or swim on his own. You can't just keep riding the ol' Cena "money train" forever. Well, at least until "Cena knows Best" debuts in 20 years.

For me this year Wrestlemania isn't about "star ratings" and "spots", it isn't about fighting over a leprechaun, boxers, ‘brand supremacy', or Playboy bunnies. This year Wrestlemania is about the matches and careers of three men. One will surely end in 3 days, one will possibly reach the last big peak before the inevitable final descent, and one…one might just skyrocket into that next plateau. While there seems to be a lot of matches that seem fairly predictable on the card, I hope that a little "Wrestlemania Magic" is going to happen and surprise us all. Then again, maybe Vince really wants to just lull us into a false sense of security. Like a platonic friend that offers to give you a backrub after you just had a fight with your boyfriend. But then he's going to pull off the screw job of a lifetime…just like that friend. Which…you know…wasn't planned or anything…it's just easier to get that "knot" out of your lower back when you unhook your bra…with my teeth. I mean…that friend's teeth…that…uh. Go Flair!!

The Truth

This isn't my ideal Wrestlemania line-up. For me it just seems like perhaps "less would be more" and fitting so many superfluous wrestlers on this show has watered it down a bit. I think there are a lot of potentially good matches, a lot of potentially good moments ready to be had, but for the most part there are some very important outcomes yet to be determined. What makes Wrestlemania so amazing is the "anything can happen" feel that has lived on through so many previous shows. In this day and age of "kayfabe is dead" I think that's what keeps people so addicted to wrestling. For me, I feel like there are three matches that are going to make or break not only this year's show, but the future of the WWE. I just hope that the "e" doesn't take the easy way out. C'mon, daddy needs his "Wrestlemania Moment".

Coming Up Short

Look, if I'm Gabe, I figure out a better match up for Nigel McGuinness on WRESTLEMANIA WEEKEND than Delirious. Now that is not a knock on Delirious as a wrestler, but it's a knock on the believability of a title switch. I really believe that this is RoH's chance to once again score some more fans and bring them to the "Indy Side" and I just see Nigel squashing Delirious as a natural fit. While I have no doubt Nigel vs Aries will tear the house down on the second night, I just wish they could have found a better match for him on Night 1. I wouldn't have even minded a Dragon Gate or NOAH wrestler taking him on, but after Nigel just turned heel I wish they could have built him back up with some convincing wins against more believable competitors. While I understand the thinking that having him beat a "fan favorite" like Delirious will help put him over more as a heel. I just think RoH came up a bit short on the booking here. Then again, unlike PWG, at least RoH usually puts on the title matches they actually book. Yeah, call me bitter. Maybe next week's Hello Kitty match will ease my pain.

6 Degrees of…



Greg Pryor has a serious "Brock Fixation":

And he wins his first 6DO back...how many wrestlers lose their comeback match though...same sort of thing.

Anyway Wrestlemania is nearly upon us and I was watching Wrestlemania the movie from Wrestlemania XIX and Brock Lesnars sick bump from the shooting star press. Another guy who does alot of shooting and bumping is Brock Landers/Dirk Diggler from the movie Boogie Nights...so in 6 movies link these two so differently similar guys together!



You just KNOW a Brock/Sable sex tape is in the offing. Yeah, I'm pretty sure Garoon or Dunn is going to review it too.

Whatchu talkin' bout readers?

Dear Bayani,

To answer your 6 degrees question connection between John Hensley and Paul Burchil. Well John was in a flick called Teeth with Ashley Springer who is in a film called The Wrestler which stars former Raw Superstar Romeo "Giovanni Roselli" and Burchill fights on Raw.

The point I wanted to make is that you have to be selfish to think any wrestler owns anything to the fans. I truly mean this. Put it this way we owe them as much as they owe us. Now if a guy like Christopher Daniels puts it all out there every night and does not seem to get over but a guy like Lashley with no talent does then how should we feel if he leaves for greener or different pastures. The best in the business are not the most rewarded. In fact Benoit, Eddie, Jericho, Angle all killed themselves (no pun indented) to give the fans what they wanted. Jericho is a 1 time champ, so too Eddie, Benoit. Angle gave us incredible matches with Taker and others mentioned and HBK but always player second to Triple H. RVD was the most innovative wrestler and took crazy bumps on non PPV tv and for what??? One chance to be champ???

There is only so much give and take in this business as Droz knows youre one botched move from a permanent wheelchair. These guys should be applauded for just getting in the ring and when they wanna retire we should let them. I would only have a problem with a wrestler if he/she retires during a really good angle or somehow his/her retirement devalues the top prize in the business. Now Lesnar jobbed to Eddie and gave us one of the most memorable moments of 2004 as a result. He wanted to pursue football and failed but Vince said he would welcome him back whenever he wanted. Brock was sick of the life and thought he could earn money elsewhere. I say because we demand so much from them we should allow them to hang up when they choose with no insults throw their way. Maybe some articles or blogs about how much they will be missed and how great they were but thats it.

Lashley quit the biz for now due to the way his girlfriend was being treated and for money not being allocated to him for WM. Now if he is owed money and the E refused to pay or he was being devalued then he has every reason to quit. I have people quit a company for lesser reasons. Now if he marries his gf tomorrow, raises 3 beautiful kids and it turns out she is the love of his love and the key to his happiness then I say thanks for running through a steel cage frame onto Umaga and help shave Vince's head bald and best of luck Bobby.

This business is so demanding, no off season, no guarantees and very much like the clubbing world. One day youre hot next day youre not. Any all the decisions are out of your hands. Vince and his creative teams make or break stars. Lesnar could have been anyone so too Lashley. They were blessed with a look Vince loves and the rest is history. Stone Cold broke the mould and became so over the fans made a decision but Vince still treated him poorly at times like trying to job him out to Coach. I am not saying he was the easiest superstar but he needs more respect than that.

Cena making an idiot of himself for his Rock comments is plain jealousy. I used to be a massive Cena mark until these comments surfaced. Not because I am a Rock mark which i am but because you know this is Vince/Triple H's influence all the way. No secret the E wants the Great one back whenever wherever they can but he is too busy and it would not make that much sense. First he cant wrestle regularly and cant be in an angle for he is too busy and would probably hurt his hollywood career due to the connection. Second if he does fight and goes over a talent how does that help in the long-run??? If he lets someone go over him fine but that would take time and he does not have this luxury. Going back to Cenas dumb comments of the Rock not giving back well he came back time and time again to put over Goldberg, to give us one last WM moment with Stone Cold, he put over Evolution and of course Brock. He came back to help the character Eugene and the Diva contest and of course the Trump match. This to me spells giving back. Also if we look at what he has tried to do for the company since breaking out they have all failed except for one. Lashley is no longer with the company, neither Goldberg. Eugene i think still is but is now yesterdays news and Brock well you get the point. So whats the point of him giving back constantly if all the angles he is involved in become failures??? Cena, Triple H and Vince are all bitter of his success and the break away from the company.

Now the last question we should address is that shouldnt guys like Brock and Rock and Lashley give back when we have given so much to them??? Well no. Because they gave us great angles, mark out moments, sold out arenas, great merch etc.. They gave as much as we gave them otherwise they would have not been as over as they got plain and simple. Like I said Vince chooses who to put over and put in our faces every week so why should they feel they owe him anything seeing as its his choice and he helped them as they helped him. A guy like Jeff Hardy is a person who does not deserve sympathy. I know he has his demons but he has every tool available to kick them : money, loved ones and a job when he gets clean. So he owes the WWE because he failed them, and he owes the fans because he failed them. He made a choice which helps nobody but hurts everyone involved.

These are my thoughts.

Let me know what you think

Tarek

I think the problem with a lot of wrestling fans is that we just can't get enough of our favorite wrestlers. We can't handle them "leaving us wanting more". Hell, Ric Flair can hardly even wrestle a full match anymore and we STILL want him in the ring. Hulk Hogan can hardly get INTO the ring and people mark out for him. For the most part there is no such thing as "going out on top" and the fact that The Rock and Brock actually managed to do just that eats at us. As sad as it sounds we'd rather not see our favorite wrestlers succeed else where without us, but we don't mind seeing them limp into the ring for a few token appearances and paychecks when all else fails. Seriously, I turn the channel every time Stone Cold and Foley show up now, so as not to see them tarnish their legacies. I guess with time we'll learn to let go, but then again who wants to see their ex happier and healthier with a brand new guy. Makes us feel a little…I dunno. You tell me.

6 Degrees Results

#1.

1. John Hensley starred in the 2004 movie, Peoples, as did Ron Jeremy
(thankfully with clothes).
2. Ron Jeremy starred in the Surreal Life: Fame Games with Vanilla Ice.
3. Vanilla Ice performed Ninja Rap in TMNT II: The Secret of the Ooze which featured Kevin Nash as Super Shredder.
4. Kevin Nash was the leader of the nWo Wolfpac at a time Konnan was a member.
5. Konnan was the founding father of LAX which now boasts the membership of one Shelly Martinez (unfortunately with clothes).
6. In OVW, Shelly Martinez was Pirate Paul's wench.

John Houston

Seriously, someone has GOT to win one of these things by something other than "Default". Good job John. Really killed the "competition" this week. Let's liven up next week's nominations, eh?

Left Overs…

Okay, is it just me or is Ashley looking less and less like Matt Hardy's ex-girlfriend and more like Matt Hardy's brother?

I had no idea that LuFisto looked like a blonde Rhyno. Seriously, she was built like a fire hydrant. I've heard of "cankles", but what the hell is a "Knigh"? *Please don't let her read this…she scares me*

So I don't watch much American Idol any more, but did you know "Old School Fat Prince Nana" just got booted off?

I was hoping they'd do another one of those "Which wrestler is going to win" interview style segments with all the wrestlers for the Big Show/Mayweather match. If nothing else just to give "Cryme Tyme" the opportunity to make a quick cameo. "Who do YOU think is going to win the match at mania?"…"Money, Money…Yeah, Yeah".

"Dragon Gate Challenge ‘08" goes down this weekend in RoH. The 2nd deadliest Japanese invasion this side of…Dance Dance Revolution…3RD MIX. Seriously, you could tear an ACL on "Xanadu".

Ron Killings worked a "Dark Match" before RAW this week… you might not have seen him though. He played a heel, so he didn't smile much.

"Wild Cat" Chris Harris has been seen down in FCW lately, reportedly getting back into "ring shape". Hey, round is a shape. Harris is rumored to be debuting with a slight change to his gimmick as he will now be coming to the ring with a pan of lasagna and a valet named "Pookie".

The Great Booty Debate 2008

Well last week didn't prove anything so let's see if we can manage better than a tie this week. we're going to stretch the qualifications a bit and match up two songstresses. The lead Pussycat Nicole Scherzinger (trust me, she's mostly Asian) and the pelvis shaking Shakira.

Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



No Nicole, loosen up MY buttons.

Random Latina Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



Something about a woman who can shake her hips at 795 revolutions per minute that just makes you wanna….duck and cover?

Konnan is suing TNA now for failing to pay for his surgery and racial discrimination. When asked for a comment Russo had this to say, "Racism?? Well now, that's just the straw the broke the wet's back".

BJ Whitmer was apparently "burnt out on wrestling and needed a break" which is why he's officially off the RoH roster for now. My God, who are they going to get now to go through tables, take spikes to the head, and be demolished by steel chairs? Don't worry kids, they've already found a replacement.

Pimpin' In High Places

You know what week it is…buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy ride:

Ask 411 mentions something about chains, crack, and beer. Sounds like a Kentucky Prom or a East LA Quinceañera to me.

Jules has his top 50 ‘mania matches. Wow…um…I at what point did he just say, "fuck it…I'll throw another two HBK matches in and call it a day"? My guess is around 43 or when he had to choose his favorite D'Lo match.

Mattis celebrates Wrestlemania. No pie or punch, however.

Ari gets the ‘mania madness which can be treated with regular doses of Xanax and therapy.

Slimmer is talkin' bout Confetti. Which are streamer's gayer cousin.

Evo Scheme takes another cut at WWE video games. How did we ever live before the "Create an entrance" feature? I wonder if ‘Fire Pro' has a "create-a-streamer" feature?

Byers gets all Sly with his Wrestlemania Family Stone Affair. Damn, that reference really was too loose to make sense huh?

Download Csonka and the Wife…their podcast. Not their sex tape. Pervs.

Berman features a little IMC in Japan. We got MO'z vs NH in a MotYC. Yeah, I'm being frugal with the word count this week.

So….wrasslemania huh? I wonder if anyone is going to…you know…watch it. Yeah, I'm actually thinking about it. I got an open invite from a buddy to check out the show at his pad for his big ‘Mania Party' but I'm kinda, eh about it. He's got a dog or two an I'm allergic. Which is kind of ironic. I mean, you know what they call a Filipino with a dog allergy right? Hungry. Man, that probably got my membership revoked. Oh well, maybe I'll catch it after all. Oh and I expect to see a "John Cena > Baby Jesus" sign in the audience. Don't let me down…like my poor Toreros did. Damn you Western Kentucky!!

Till then, the Truth will set you free.

-B