Wacky Wrestling Theory 4.17.08: Pro-wrestling in the Olympics

Posted by Jake Chambers on 04.17.2008

Where I argue for the criteria necessary to legitimize pro-wrestling as an undeniable Olympic event.

For too long now pro-wrestling fans have had to endure the posturing of Kurt Angle as being "pro-wrestling's only Olympic gold medalist." I'm sorry, but why should I care? The pro-wrestling shows that I watch every week have about as much in common with Olympic freestyle wrestling as they do with short track speed skating. Regardless of the glory of Angle's achievement in 1996, he did it with a disdain for pro-wrestling in his heart at the time and in a match that wouldn't have lasted long in front of a pro-wrestling crowd before a ‘bo-ring' chant broke out. It's time for us, the fans of true pro-wrestling, to have a real gold medalist… and a silver and a bronze medalist… every four years… awarded to men and women who are participating in what we know is the most grueling and difficult athletic event in the world. The Olympics must recognize real pro-wrestling as an official event and include our champions.

This summer we should protest the Olympics, not because of Tibet, Darfur, or human rights, but because real discrimination is happening to pro-wrestling fans all over the globe. Everyone who dislikes pro-wrestling does so with such bile and ignorance. We are disrespected and degraded by know-it-all non-fans who arrogantly look down on us for liking something that is ‘fake.' Apparently wrestling is the only fictional form of entertainment. Well, no longer should we have to put up with the phrase, "Yeah, but you like wrestling," being some sort of universal dismissal of our opinion. The Olympics is a safe place for athletic entertainment that is artistic, inspiring, honored, and fake. It is time for pro-wrestling fans to finally feel legitimate, and the Olympics is our promise land.

There is no reasonable argument against the inclusion of ‘catch as catch can' wrestling into the ever-growing list of recognized Olympic events. The Olympics has multiple events that are competitive only in the eyes of expert judges. Pro-wrestling is no less of an athletic spectacle than classically judged events such as figure skating, diving, synchronized swimming or weight lifting. The only two reasons that I can think of that are currently stopping pro-wrestlers from competing at the Olympics are presentation and prejudice. I will attempt to remedy the first one today in hopes that it will help to eliminate prejudice against pro-wrestling in the future.

Since I am not technically referring to the traditional form of ‘catch as catch can' wrestling, from this point on I will name the pro-wrestling approach that I propose for the Olympics as ‘catch-style wrestling.' Also, male singles matches would definitely be the premiere event, and thus the focus for my theory, but I believe that male tag teams, female singles and tag teams, and mixed tag teams, should all be represented at the competition.

Establishing unified international rules for the judging and presentation of catch-style wrestling on the Olympic stage is the first step towards acceptance by the International Olympic Committee (IOC). Pro-wrestling is incredibly popular all over the world, with unique wrestling styles cemented into the cultural fabric of places such as Japan, Mexico, Great Britain, Canada and of course the U.S.A. Differences exist within these various nations' take on the sport, much like prominent professional sports in America, such as baseball, hockey and basketball, are competed under altered rules in other countries. Since ‘rules' in pro-wrestling are merely part of the show, the common denominators for Olympic catch-style wrestling competition will be the execution of maneuvers and the visual presentation of a staged struggle. In order to demonstrate these facets of catch-style wrestling, I propose that the proper format necessary for international Olympic level competition would require the wrestlers to perform two matches: one short technical display, and one long dramatic presentation.

Short Match and Compulsory Elements:
Where the wrestlers would be given at least five minutes to demonstrate the standard elements of the catch-style wrestling canon. This short match from each pair would not feature a winner but would instead be a space for teams to display their technically precise versions of common wrestling maneuvers. No special moves, submission holds or finishers would be allowed, only a series of predetermined compulsory elements. The matches would not need to look identical, thus it would be up to the wrestlers how to plot out the match, but the judging would focus on the execution of the moves and not on any emotional or artistic ingredient within the ‘storyline' of the match.

For the men's single match event, I would recommend the following compulsory elements: two collar and elbow tie-up struggles, four wear-down holds (eg. chin-lock, head-lock, bear-hug, arm-bar, full-nelson, cravat, abdominal stretch), two suplexes (eg. vertical, belly-to-back, butterfly, side, German), one torso impacting move (eg. body slam, back breaker, side slam, atomic drop), one move as a result of bouncing off the ropes (eg. clothesline, back body drop, body press, hip toss), four pinning predicaments (eg. cradle, roll-up, small package, bridge, back-slide, sunset flip), and a minimum of four striking attacks (to include forearm shivers, elbows, knees, headbutts, slaps, chops, but not to include closed fist punches or kicks below the waistline).

Using a formula similar to the ISU (International Skating Union) New Judging System for Olympic figure skating, one expert judge would analyze each move in the Short Match, using video playback if necessary, in order to award that move with an individual base score. For example when administering a vertical suplex, how well the weight is balanced, torque of the lift, and straightness of the bodies when in full lift, would be taken into account. This base score would then be given to a panel of international judges who give a subjective Grade of Execution mark, with a minimum difference of -3 up to a maximum +3 of the initial score. These unique move scores would then be fairly averaged and combined with the scores for all respective elements in order to gain a final standing for the Short Match stage of the competition.

Free Match:
Where the struggle for an eventual winner would be portrayed in a match of at least ten minutes, which would be weighted twice as important as the Short Match towards the eventual final score. This match would let the wrestlers theatrically live up to the Olympic traditions of artistic merit. Proper consideration should be given to the structure of beginning, middle and ending sequences, thus eliminating the temptation for wrestlers to use big moves directly after the opening bell. Also, I would suggest that massive neck-jamming moves, such as the Tombstone piledriver or the Tiger Driver '91, be avoided in order to encourage this atmosphere of artistry over a high-risk mentality.

One would guess that the Free Match would not be a ‘squash' match and therefore the shift in momentum should be judged appropriately. Unlike the Short Match, there would be no compulsory elements in the Free Match. In a number of categories, a panel of judges would award scores between 0 to 10 (with 0 being Jim Duggan, 5 being Lance Storm, and 10 Ric Flair) based on their critical sensibilities.

Some recommended categories for Free Match judgment are: wrestling skills (eg. the flawless technical ability to authentically administer the wrestling moves), transitions (eg. the logical flow from move to reversal, capitalizing on ‘mistakes,' changing advantage), facial expressions (eg. the unspoken presentation of pain, confidence, surprise, exhilaration, etc.), continuity (eg. feeling out process, comebacks, escalation of move impact), characterization (eg. visual portrayal of personality, conflict interaction), performance (eg. interpreting audience response, exaggerated realism), and logic (eg. move usage, logical sequences, a meaningful victory).

I think that in the vein of rhythmic gymnastics, trampoline and the ice dance, catch-style wrestling should also be allowed a tertiary event reserved for the high flyers called Aerial Catch-style Wrestling. Wrestlers like Rob Van Dam, Jack Evans, Pac, Taiji Ishimori, to name a few, all thrive on being able to use gymnastic or ballet inspired moves, which although don't look like they could break an egg, do awe an audience with elegance, flexibility and imagination. Judging in this category would be based more on the overall choreography, rotational direction of spins and spirals, the height and length of leaps, and the speed or innovation put into traditional components. The aerial catch-style competition would allow wrestlers who might not fit into the classical catch-style mold, such as Mexican luchadores, a separate event of equivalent merit.

I will let the fantasy bookers among you decide on the wrestlers and countries that would be competing, but let us all agree that the team choices should be left up to national Olympic committees and not the dominant wrestling promotions. Therefore, if the US Olympic Committee felt that Bryan Danielson vs. Austin Aries was a better match than John Cena vs. Triple H, business should not get in the way of national glory. That being said, politics would be the only thing stopping Bryan Danielson from representing his country in the ring with a rival company's ace such as Triple H, but as I said, I'll leave these wacky theories up to the creative fantasy bookers among you. Let's just say that the final night of matches would be every wrestling fan's dream come true. And it's reasonable to think this can happen, it truly is!

We must begin to vocally support pro-wrestling in the Olympics before it is too late. And what better year to piggyback on then the year when the Olympics will be held in the most controversial location in most of our lifetimes. As the rest of the world will be scrutinizing the decision of the IOC to set up in China, we must wedge our foot in the door and demand to be heard. Maybe if the IOC is wrong for going into China, then maybe people will believe they are wrong about some other things too. While watching the trampoline finals on the big screen at your local bar or at a friend's house, start getting the word out; there is no shame in it. If people can swallow ballroom dancers as recognized Olympians, then a comparison with pro-wrestlers can all of a sudden, in a year like this, look legitimate.

I have a motto that I want us all to adopt. If the IOC will not recognize catch-style wrestling, then that acronym will no longer stand for International Olympic Committee. Until pro-wrestling is admitted into the Olympic games IOC will mean, "Include Our Champions!" At every live televised pro-wrestling event, we should proudly chant, "Include Our Champions!" At every global Olympic qualifier we should carry signs into the crowd that order, "Include Our Champions!" On sports message boards worldwide we should remind the ignorant to, "Include Our Champions!" And one day, when the Olympic torch is finally ambushed and extinguished by a hero whose t-shirt reads Austin 3:16 rather than Free Tibet, that person should look directly into the camera and fiercely proclaim, "Include Our Champions!"

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411mania.com's Chris Lansdell is also covering the topic of pro-wrestling in the Olympics
I highly recommend that you check out the interactive segment of his latest edition of The Way I C It that allows for prognostication and debate on the various wrestlers and matches that could represent nationally at this necessary Olympic event.

Reference for the International Skating Union Judging System:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ISU_Judging_System

In 2004, Lance Storm (apologies) also mentioned this idea:
http://www.stormwrestling.com/index1.html