The Dustinthinks Friday Freethinks News Report 4.18.08
Posted by Dustin James on 04.18.2008
Yeah…I’m not Meehan.
(The above banner was made by me! Nobody else should get credit for an idea so witty and hip)
Welcome to the once in a lifetime, Dustinthinks Friday Freethinks! How's that for a news report title? Of course as you can tell.....I'm not John Meehan. I do not own a purple old school Randy Savage t-shirt (although at one time I did own the NEON GREEN MACHO KING t-shirt!) nor do I have some mean ass facial hair. I'm 27 years old and Italian, yet when I grow facial hair I resemble a burn victim. I currently write in 411's MMA zone. I'm in charge of 411's MMA rankings!, which you should read every Thursday so you can be the most knowledgeable kid on your block.
As for wrestling, I grew up a wrestling fan. I started watching in 1989, and I stopped watching full-time in 2005. However, I rely on the wonderful 411mania for all of my wrestling news and reports and can still keep up to date with what's going on with the wrestling world without actually having to sit through it! I'm a genius! But how do I still get my wrestling fix? That's easy. WWE 24/7 aka the greatest invention EVER. There is nothing like watching wrestling back when it was really good. Don't believe me? Order it!
And before I start with the news, I'd like to apologize for the length of the report this week. I was asked to do this last minute, but I will give it my all.........!!!
Joey Styles Removed From ECW Broadcast Team; Will Work For WWE.com Perhaps the last important piece of the original ECW is removed?
In what was not pretty shocking news (to me at least) it was reported that Joey Styles has been removed from the ECW broadcast team and has already started a new job with WWE.com. This comes as huge news to some people, but not to me. Why? Personally, there was something that always bugged me about Joey Styles doing commentary on WWE TV. Maybe it's because I was such a huge ECW mark during the original days that it pained me to hear Styles basically being tied down by the WWE's style.
Oh, you wanted the real reason it wasn't a shocker? Ever since day one all's we ever heard was how Vince McMahon was not a big fan of Joey's. And everybody knows...if the big boss isn't happy, it's goodnight Irene. I personally think the big shocker here is that Style's tenure in the new ECW lasted as long as it did. I'm surprised that Styles didn't quit over frustration with the new ECW product, or the fact that he always loved being alone in the booth.
In related news, it seems that Vince McMahon pulled the trigger on this move because he felt that Mike Adamle (who will be replacing Styles on ECW) was being paid too much and Vince wanted to use him in a bigger role. Ummm, ok. Then why not have the guy replace someone like Jonathan Coachman? Don't even get me started on how horrible Coach is in the booth. You want a great commentator? How about trying to sign Frank Trigg who did an amazing job on TNA Impact! awhile back? Or even Kevin Nash! He's a great color guy!
Hopefully Joey Styles will help improve WWE.com. God knows that Joey's old website was horrendous so maybe with the WWE's backing and Styles knowledge on what the fans want, it will help to improve WWE.com as a whole. Also, let's hope that Styles constantly monitors the "Superstars" pages, as it seems when a superstar gets moved to another roster, and it's not fixed right away...there is plenty of boo-hooing from the milrons.
Update on Bobby Lashley's Future It's looking more and more like he is headed towards MMA.
I figured I would go ahead and give my two cents on this subject. Why? Because I cover MMA for 411, and I know a little bit about the wonderful sport of Mixed Martial Arts. I'm a fan of Bobby Lashley trying out for MMA. The very little that I actually saw on Lashley in the WWE, I wasn't impressed with. He reminded me of Brock Lesnar minus the wrestling skills and look. Lesnar had a certain monster look to him. Lashley looks like he is still breast-feeding. I honestly never saw Lashley as a huge superstar in wrestling no matter how hard Vince shoved him down our throats.
Then again, I honestly think Lashley has a chance at becoming at least a somewhat credible MMA fighter. Lashley attended Missouri Valley College and won three national amateur wrestling championships. He then went on to wrestle for the United States Army. The dude has some skills. I'm very intrigued as to what Lashley will be able to do in the world of MMA.
Lashley's no compete clause ends in May. After that it's anybody's guess as to where he lands. The UFC won't sign him until he gets at least a fight under his belt. EliteXC could very likely sign him as they love guys with names already, even if they don't have a proven record in MMA (Kimbo Slice). And of course, Japan is always an option for Lashley. Either way, a possible UFC fight between Lesnar and Lashley = BIG BUYS. More so than Angle vs. Lesnar. Angle would get snapped in half. IN HALF PEOPLE~!
King Of The Ring Tournament Returns! The tournament is back, but is it back to help HHH sell DVDs?
I always loved the King of the Ring tournament. Back when they first brought it back (92 or 93) I was excited because I always loved the tournament style in wrestling. Anybody remember when WCW use to do that tournament style thing where they kept actual SCORES of matches? I think they did it back in the late 80's. Either way, that was a sweet ass concept. That's one reason I was excited as a kid to see the KOTR tournament. My favorite tournament as a kid was the one that crowned the King Of Harts. Not only was Owen Hart the greatest king ever, he had the greatest nickname ever.
However, now that the KOTR tournament is back......I can't seem to get that excited. For one, I'm not as big as a wrestling fan as I was when I was 12. Two, the WWE is about to release a King of Kings DVD that focuses on HHH and that leads me to believe that the H's could be winning this here tournament. That bums me out as the KOTR tournament should be used to push new talent. There are current superstars on the roster that could make excellent kings. Guys like Ken Kennedy (King Kennedy!), King Shelton Benjamin (imagine all the GOLD!), or even guys like Carlito or Santino Marella would do wonders with a king gimmick.
But the guy I'd love to see king the most? Trevor Murdoch. Imagine King Murdoch. The storyline's write themselves there folks. BOOK IT!
Ted DiBiase Jr To Be Brought Up To Main Roster Still no word on if he's as rich as his daddy or not....
There is word going around that the WWE will be calling up Ted DiBiase Jr to Smackdown real soon. This is fantastic news as I was a huge fan of Ted DiBiase. I have yet to see his son in action, therefore I have no idea if he can do the crazy laugh or if he sticks $$$'s into his opponents mouths.
However, if the WWE really wants to get this guy over. I have devised a plan! You can get DiBiase Jr to offer anybody in the crowd $10,000 if they can catch a pass from a football thrown by him. He then picks a little 8-year-old boy out of the audience to compete. DiBiase then throws a few "practice" throws to the kid and the kid is like a mini Randy Moss, catching every thing and then some. But when it comes time to actually compete, DiBiase cocks back and DRILLS the kid square in the nose. I'm telling you, the heel heat this guy would get would be ridiculous.
Hennig Siblings Sign Developmental Deals With WWE; Training With Harley Race No word on if they can walk on water like daddy
In news that I loved this week, it was announced that both Joe and Amy Hennig signed developmental deals with the WWE and are currently training with Harley Race. They will be training with Race for a while and then moved to FCW. This news is also great as I LOVE seeing second, third, or fourth generation stars. As long as they aren't David Sammartino or David Flair, I'm usually good.
If Joe or Amy have half the talents that Curt Hennig had, then they will be awesome. Maybe the WWE can see what it can do about getting Lanny Poffo out of retirement and bringing back "The Genius" as a manager for them. C'mon! You know you loved that gimmick!
I'm still waiting for a callback on whether or not either sibling has the ability to swat gum out of mid-air and connect every time. Stay tuned to 411mania for confirmation on that.
The Great Khali To Take Leave Of Absence That sound you hear is the sound of many WWE fans crying
Apparently your friend and mine, The Great Khali, will be taking a leave of absence from the WWE due to "twenty months of hard wrestling". I have tried finding footage of this so-called "twenty months of hard wrestling" but I have found nothing. Khali will be landing in India on April 26th and will stay there for about a month.
Upon his return to the WWE, it's said he will get a huge push involving a gimmick where Khali has amnesia and thinks he's a ten year old. Ok, I made that up...but that would own. We shall miss you Khali. Hopefully you get over your burnout quickly because I don't know about you, I can't picture this summer going by without the giant guy there to put a smile on my face.
TNA: Lockdown Results Oh, you still don't know the results to the show? What the hell is wrong with you? It was almost a week ago....
Here are the results for TNA: Lockdown. Some guy named Larry Csonka did the report. I think he's new:
X-Division Title X-Scape Match
-Black Machismo over Sonjay Dutt/Johnny Devine/Shark Boy/Curry Man/Consequences Creed
Queen Of The Cage
-Roxxi Laveaux over Angelina Love/Velvet Sky/Salinas/Rhaka Khan/Traci Brooks/Christy Hemme/Ms. Jackie Moore
The match that nobody wanted to see
-BG James over Kip James
Cuffs In The Cage
-Super Eric & Kaz over Rellik & Black Reign/Scott Steiner & Petey Williams/Sabin & Alex Shelley/Homicide & Hernandez/Rave & Hoyt
-Gail Kim & ODB over Awesome Kong & Raisha Saeed
-Booker T & Sharmell over Robert Roode & Payton Banks
Lethal Lockdown
-Team Cage (Christian Cage, Rhino, Kevin Nash, Sting, Matt Morgan) over Team Tomko (Tomko, AJ Styles, Brother Ray, Brother Devon, James Storm)
TNA World Title
-Samoa Joe over Kurt Angle
And because I love you all, I present some fat, ugly guy's opinion on TNA: Lockdown.....
LOLZ!
Bobby Eaton Hospitalized The former WCW legend is having heart issues.
This news sucks in more ways than one. As a fan of 1980's-1990's wrestling, I loved Bobby Eaton's work. Eaton was always the quiet workhorse who was a tag team specialist and remained over with the crowd despite not having a great personality. Eaton was awesome as a member of the Midnight Express and was just as great as a member of the Dangerous Alliance. Eaton has never wrestled in the WWE, which may come to hurt him when it comes to Hall of Fame nominations.
Do I personally believe Eaton is Hall of Fame material? Hell yes. Eaton made his opponents look better, as well as his tag team partner. I hope Eaton all the best for a quick recovery, as I'm sure all wrestling fans would love to see a HOF introduction of the Midnight Express someday.
Seeing as I'm just a substitute this week, it would be weird for me to have emails to share with you here. I thought about posting emails from my actual inbox here, but how many of you actually want to read about midgets doing donkey's, how I can save $450 on my next payday advance, or the fact that I just received Juno from Netflix? No? Nobody cares?
I guess that's it for me then! It was a pleasure to fill-in for Meehan this week. If you would like more of me then check me out on myspace or my newly created Facebook!
Meehan still rules, but this was good.
D M I T S O G
Posted By: Oh well (Guest) on April 18, 2008 at 12:16 AM
Wow, surprising they picked someone so negative to fill in for Meehan's "positivity". Guess even with his positive outlook he had to fake being sick to avoid having to schill for the awful RAW main event at Back lash.
As for Dustin James...not bad. I would never put in Eaton by himself but the Midnight Express definately deserves the nod.
I think Lashley in MMA is the wise move. He can do wrestling later after he flops in MMA. Seriously Brock Lesnar was a NCAA champion and he lost quickly to Mir. It is funny how anyone with any sort of amateur wrestling background can just step in and compete. It takes years to get to an elite level. Lesnar might get there. Lashley won't. Angle would have made it had he not broken down his body in WWE but he was an olympic gold medalist.
Posted By: Meehan's Biggest Fan (Guest) on April 18, 2008 at 12:18 AM
It's a video of a fan talking about wrestling. He's not hurting anybody, he's not profane, and he seems to genuinely enjoy himself. Why call him fat and ugly? What did he do to you?
Posted By: DG (Guest) on April 18, 2008 at 12:35 AM
You know...
Why not just combine both of the gimmicks together you mentioned for Khali and DiBiase Jr.? How funny would it be to see Khali drilled in the face, start crying, and DiBiase look like a monster for hitting the giant kid?
Posted By: Travis (Guest) on April 18, 2008 at 12:37 AM
I'll admit you got me on the Khali gimmick thing. Even if WWE did it...aw fuck it I'm not even gonna think about it
Posted By: Colin (Guest) on April 18, 2008 at 12:55 AM
people,the great khali is comming home(also my country)to dhirana,hp,india
he is set to act in a bollywood movie for get this a whopping 10 crore indian rupees
thats the reason he is back and also cuz he wants to help his family's financial condition
i think the wwe is wasting him,he should be ecw champ right now
or at least be no 1 contender
by the way,i was reading a few comments on a few articles,and people that is really the water of the river ganges ok itz that polluted
plus that peace offering its nonsense,just wrestle and dominate the big show
if he is the only man to footpin the undertaker,then big show is not a problem at all
but alas vinnie will be vinnie,stupid,old and no changes
thats why wwe sucks,now, change storylines and get something refersshingly different
how long will u potray the stupid,fool cena as u r brand ambassador
he is destroying wwe right now
he should be in ecw trying to destroy it not waste quality time on raw
no one in India,wants to watch cena or ecw
so cena=ecw(extremely crappy wrestler)
Posted By: Siddhant Dash (Guest) on April 18, 2008 at 01:28 AM
Dammit, you took my copy of Juno. I accidentally bumped it to #2
Posted By: Derek (Guest) on April 18, 2008 at 01:45 AM
derek that's gay... nuff said
Posted By: DooRag (Guest) on April 18, 2008 at 02:54 AM
Dustin James, leader of the new nWo! Heh, great job man.
Posted By: Sam (Guest) on April 18, 2008 at 03:28 AM
So does this mean that Kali and Big Show isn't going to happen? Because Backlash is on the 27th.
Posted By: Gary (Guest) on April 18, 2008 at 04:13 AM
Siddhant Dash = student from Mike the Headless Chicken's Memorial School of Retards, who sadly got lost inside the internet during a day trip to Chuck E. Cheese's.
Anyway, the Khali idea would rock my balls. As long as they didn't do a 'May 19th' and have him hear his family and teacher's voices 'in his head' all around the arena.
Posted By: T.G. Corke (Registered) on April 18, 2008 at 04:22 AM
THE GENIUS.
The guy was hilarious. Thanks for giving me that "oh yeah i remember him" moment.
Posted By: Poffo Fan (Guest) on April 18, 2008 at 11:48 AM
Seriously, this is one of the few columns I read every week. Keep up the good work.
Posted By: Like Butta (Registered) on April 18, 2008 at 12:05 PM
Khali tried to make nice with the Big Show. He doesn't understand why Show still wants to fight him. Khali just wants to be friends. Khali will now go back to India to contemplate why all Americans only want to fight him. Can't we all just get along? What would Ghandi do? Drink some Ganges river water and smoke a hookah...
Posted By: MickieMark (Guest) on April 18, 2008 at 12:42 PM
I actually like Khali and don't see why everyone chants 'You can't wrestle' when half of the WWE can't wrestle either. I'd rather see khali than some of the other wwe 'superstars' - at least khali looks like a star. He don't need to be able to wrestle - if u were in an MMA cage with khali, you'd be screwed regardless- i say turn him face and make him a modern day andre (neither of them could speak english properly) I think it'd be cool if Khali came back and defended the little guys
Posted By: Derek (Guest) on April 18, 2008 at 01:02 PM
Yes, believe it or not I am a Great Khali mark. I'm not sure why, I mean the guy has had horrendous matches... I guess there will be always be something intriguinging in seeing goliaths like him. Interestingly, I once saw him in my local city centre doing promotion for one of the smackdown tours... and believe me, this guy is MASSIVE. Like, ridiculously, you could see him towering from over the horizon and shit. insane. But yeah, Khali FTW~!
Posted By: Killah (Guest) on April 18, 2008 at 01:32 PM
That guy in the video looks like Dwight Schrute's fat, less funny younger brother.
Posted By: ProtomanV1 (Registered) on April 18, 2008 at 01:43 PM
Khali as ECW champ would make way more sense than the crap they have now.
Dustin, great job. I just wish you and Meehan could have some sort of feud where you look at nothing but the negative of each angle...oh wait, that's High/Low Road. Nevermind, great work though.
Posted By: Ryder (Guest) on April 18, 2008 at 02:19 PM
I'm just happy WWE is letting somebody else train these people sometimes. I mean I think WWE's brawling and power move style has a place, but if all the guys wrestle like that it gets boring. Thank god Vince is letting Race Teach the Hennings.
Posted By: Davy (Guest) on April 18, 2008 at 03:22 PM
who bets that guy ran to his computer recorded this and then started playing ewr to prove his points..........then had a cookie........yeah a cookie.......
Posted By: jojomonkeyboy (Guest) on April 18, 2008 at 04:02 PM
IN HALF PEOPLE!! lol
Posted By: daniel (Guest) on April 18, 2008 at 04:27 PM
I'm still waiting for a callback on whether or not either sibling has the ability to swat gum out of mid-air and connect every time. Stay tuned to 411mania for confirmation on that.
I have yet to see his son in action, therefore I have no idea if he can do the crazy laugh or if he sticks $$$'s into his opponents mouths.
----------------
These two lines made me laugh. Nice column. Keep up the humor. Mesa likey.
Posted By: Chico (Guest) on April 18, 2008 at 05:14 PM
Perhaps the last important piece of the original ECW is removed? Sorry Dustin, I know it's not Thursday but "Who You Crappin?" From what everyone says Tommy Dreamer is the Heart & Soul of ECW. What piece is more important then the heart? or soul? Wait a minute I know what's more important..... a bank account with real money in it (Here's lookin at you Paul). But that's a great idea about Money Jr. But to keep DCFS & other people's right's groups from protesting for child abuse, he can bring out peewee football pads & helmet to "protect" the kid. It could be a segment called pros & Jrs. We can even do a switcharoo under the ring and swap the kid with Horny.
Posted By: NastyRud (Guest) on April 18, 2008 at 07:33 PM
Why in the hell would you write an article about wrestling and you are not a big wresting fan like you was when you was 12. For 1 be a journalist on something that you have a passion for. And 2 if you are a journalist make sure you know your history. As a big fan from when I was 4 watching the macho man win the only wrestlemania tournament for the wwf championship I fell in love. Now I am 24 and might not be as good as it was but I still love it. By the way the first King Of the Ring was 93. Also the wcw tournament that you are referring to is the round robin. Also I give you credit Owen Hart kotr was the best ever.
Posted By: machoman (Guest) on April 19, 2008 at 12:10 AM
Well done Dustbin
Posted By: alun (Guest) on April 22, 2008 at 04:23 AM
Hey T.G.Corke,thanks for responding to m comment,thats why i like this site anyways
student from Mike the Headless Chicken's Memorial School of
Retards, who sadly got lost inside the internet during a day trip to Chuck E.
Cheese's
i have a doubt
i dont know what that means anyways thats what separates me from u i m to tthe point and u r round-the-twist
and also goood to know that u liked my idea of khali as the ecw champ i mean if the wwe openly acknowledge that ecw title is not that important then why not give it to these guys who have no hope in hell in becoming a world champ again
Posted By: Siddhant Dash (Guest) on May 04, 2008 at 07:11 AM
