Truth B Told 4.17.08: Righting the ContenderShip
Posted by Bayani Domingo on 04.17.2008
Congratulations, you may have JUST won a #1 contendership. Please send in two proofs of purchase + shipping and handling to “Creative”. Yeah, it’s almost that easy.
Look, it's not all "swimming pools and movie stars"…or rather "hot tubs and porno stars" in the city of angels. There is a lot of ugly out here amongst the "beautiful people".
The one single thing that bugs me most about living in Los Angeles is the fact that everyone here seems to have this "undeserved sense of entitlement". What that means is that pretty women think it's okay to bring a dog into a restaurant and let it room around while you're trying to eat your sammich. Guys in Porsches and BMW's think it's okay to cut everyone off while zigzagging through the freeway while riding your tail at 75 mph. Guys on Blackberry's wearing blazers and jeans think they have the right to Jay walk on busy streets in the middle of rush hour and then give you a dirty look when you come to a screeching halt in front of you. Yep, LA is full of people who believe that for some reason or another the world owes them something and since you're technically living on it YOU owe them by proxy. So let them cut in line, don't complain when they hold up the line ordering coffee while chatting to their stockbroker on their cell phones, and don't you DARE expect them to pay for a drink, tip accordingly, or take up only a single space for their brand new Bentley.
Having an "undeserved sense of entitlement" is one of the surest ways to get a punch in the eye when you try to unsuccessfully convince someone with a bad temper that they aren't as deserving to get into a club before you, get their food you are served, or generally have the right to breath the air you do. It's also the surest way to set up one of the laziest methods of booking known to wrestling. Just look in the past few weeks what's gone down; JBL, HHH, and John Cena all laid claim to being #1 contenders after HHH and Cena both lost to Orton and JBL beat a Smackdown mid-carder and then Claudio Castagnoli challenged Nigel for his RoH title after beating Kota Ibushi in a singles match which falls under the "new Japanese guys eats pin" rule that RoH seems to establish for lower Puro guys. Do I really believe anyone of those guys have done anything to deserve a title shot? Didn't Cena already lose clean to Orton? Didn't HHH already get his title shot at ‘mania and lose? Has JBL really done enough to warrant being named #1 contender by Regal other than being the 2nd biggest heel on the roster? Is there anyone on the RoH roster above the mid-card who hasn't gotten a title shot and lost? Am I running out of questions yet?
There are some things that just bother me about how wrestling companies decide their #1 contenders. In the case of TNA they look to be building towards a possible rematch with Kurt Angle and Joe once he inevitably enacts his "rematch clause" and not too long ago Scott Steiner announced he'd be cashing in his shot at the next PPV. That for some reason actually makes sense. Although the retardedness of Steiner stealing his title shot and then eventually winning both the World and X Division title opportunities from Petey was pretty illogical, having Steiner actually use the shot to announce he was the #1 contender makes sense since he has his "money in the bank" type title shot. At the same time Kurt Angle could be considered a #1 contender based on his rematch clause alone. As odd as it sounds, TNA actually had that all figured out. In fact they seemed to have used an entire PPV last weekend just to run matches in order to determine #1 contenders. While I'm not thrilled with the way they let their "ranking system" fall by the waste side at least they are determining their contenderships in a manner other than "hey….what's up…I was just in the back there playing Super Smash Brothers with Curry Man and I heard you out here talking and I figured…you know…how bout you give me a title shot?". Having a series of matches or a running monthly total of wins and losses would be the optimal idea for using a system to rank wrestlers and thus determine #1 contenderships, but then when you end up with multi-man matches like the X-scape match then I guess you really don't need to narrow it down, just throw 5 or 6 guys in there and let ‘er rip.
I'm a little disappointed in RoH because not too long ago they used to employ a ranking system. Now it seems like they're the Lita of wrestling…everyone gets a turn. Brent Albright won a 4 corners match and got his title shot then and there, Claudio threw his name in the hat for no reason other then "HEY…I haven't gotten a shot in a while…and someone stole my swank briefcase and filled it with an X-Division title shot….HEY!!". For some reason however I don't take RoH #1 contenderships that seriously though because in the past guys have won the title without even being that highly ranked. Homicide lost the title to Morishima shortly after he debuted and there is no way he could have been that high on the rankings at that point, Nigel lost to Morishima a number of times before winning the title and prior to that he was on a short losing streak himself, even the worst champion in RoH history, Xavier, beat Low Ki for the title and I can't seem to remember him doing anything that extraordinary up to that point except suck dick, and suck more dick. This is clearly ripping off Sylvan Grenier's gimmick anyways.
I've said it before that RoH seems to set up these tournaments for title shots and defacto #1 contenderships every other month or so and they never end up leading to a title change. I really wish RoH would do something about that. They are a great company that has performers that bust there asses week in and week out to try to make their title matches as exciting and unpredictable as possible. Only problem is they are becoming way too predictable. The only things that are certain in life are death, taxes, RoH #1 contenders never win the title, and John Cena main events PPVs. Seriously, it's like Cena is the herpes of the "E", you can't stop him, you can only suppress him. Fuck the RKO, Randy Orton needs Valtrex. What bothers me about RoH that other people might enjoy is that it seems like everyone gets a title shot. It doesn't really seem like winning a tournament or putting together a long winning streak matters that much when eventually everyone gets a shot at the title. Except YOU Bobby Dempsey…you just go back to your corner, eat your box of Ho Ho's, listen to your Jonas Brothers CD, and cry your virgin ass to sleep. Fatty!! If you don't believe that sometimes the undeserving get shots that they shouldn't take a look at how the Briscoes have fared over their last 4 or 5 matches before they won the tag title. It's like they got in as a "legacy" or something. This isn't Yale, it's wrasslin'.
If you look around the "e" right now there are some very logical title matches coming up. You have the ECW and World Heavyweight title being defended in rematches, you have MVP putting his title up against Matt Hardy after a good series of matches and a single loss to him, you have Mickie James winning the title from Beth Phoenix after getting her title shot because she…is…a….woman? Yeah, not really sure how she earned her shot but I guess if you're a Diva you get to ride the title-go-round like everyone else. Then you have the WWE title. Cena lost AND he ate the pin at WM, he has NO claim to the title at this point. HHH lost but didn't get pinned so there is some logic behind his reasoning. But JBL being included is horrible, I understand they used Regal's heel GM tactics as a reason but if they really want to keep escalating the title matches each PPV we'll end up with another Elimination Chamber match in 2 months and then a 24 man battle royal by WM26. I wonder if Carlito or Cody Rhodes is wandering around backstage thinking, "awww shit, if I wasn't stuck behind Mark Henry and Festus at the ‘make your own sundae' bar I couldn't have ran out there and asked for a title shot…damn it…an they didn't even have caramel sauce".
If anything the only TRUE #1 contender after all the rematches are over and the fatal 4 way ends is CM Punk. Mainly because he can enact his title shot any damn time he chooses. Like…RIGHT NOW. Okay, not right now. But…RIGHT NOW. Sorry. You had to see that one, RIGHT NOW…coming. What I'm hoping for is that the "King of the Ring" tournament ends up being for a title opportunity to be used after the next PPV. While it ends up falling under the "make a quick match just to save yourself some long term booking" at least it will be an exciting and definitive way to push someone as a deserving wrestler. It would be a logical way to set up a wrestler for a title shot as he would have to prove himself by beating a talented field for not only a crown but a title match to boot. Hell, worked for Booker T. At least for a while….SUCKAAAAA!!
The real question here is if you prefer the WWE's style of "no title matches until a PPV" or the RoH style of "title matches every week". Okay, so both are an exaggeration, because clearly not every match the RoH champion is in is for the title and there are the occasional "title matches" on RAW and Smackdown, but it's not too far off. What this all comes down to is my longing for a "ranking" system to be installed in wrestling again. Hell, even in PWG they used to run a "whoever pins the champion in a match, even if it's a non-title or tag team match, is the #1 contender" rule. They conveniently use or misuse it whenever they want. In fact Chris Hero should have been the #1 contender after pinning Human Tornado in a mixed tag match, but then somehow had to fight Roderick Strong for an opportunity, THEN ended up losing to Strong and STILL demanding a title shot. The fuck is that? It's like cheating on a girl, having her walk in on you with her roommate, dumping her on the spot, then demanding she "finishes you off" since the chick you were banging just ran off crying into the bathroom. Exactly the same…seriously. "Happy ending".
I would love to see RoH ratchet back a bit on title shots and make each one mean a little more in the process. Not to say that I'm not a big fan of Claudio's or that he won't have a great title match, but I need more than just a few wins in a row to buy him being heads and shoulders above the rest of the roster in terms of "deserving" a title shot. By going back to their ranking system I think they would be able to book long term easier and create a lot more momentum for the wrestlers challenging for the title. There should be some method of points given to wins, losses, tag wins, t-shirt sales, shuttle run times, Scrabble scores, or whatever. I feel like what has been missing for me has been the anticipation of a title match in that company. While I believe they are the top "wrestling" company in the industry at this point in terms of match quality, I still feel like lack the glitz and pageantry that a WWE has because they water down their title opportunities a bit too much. I would say the same about PWG, but sometimes they go months without a title match and that actually irks me even more. There has to be a middle ground here that works. What makes me even crazier is that the WWE has a ranking system in place on their own website and don't seem to realize how much easier it would be to actually use THAT as a determining factor then merely who the GM is fucking, is related to, or "fancies" at any given moment. It was easier in the days when the IC title was the default #1 contender and now that you have 3 brands and 3 separate titles, it's about time to figure out a better way to keep track of who deserves what.
This isn't to say that all #1 contenders should be guaranteed a title win or that those who aren't #1 contenders or eve highly ranked should never be able to sneak away with a win. If that was the case then something tells me that the Giants wouldn't have walked away with the Super Bowl, Tiger Woods would be wearing a nice new green jacket instead of some other guy, and we probably would never have heard of the names Riddick Bowe or Buster Douglas. Sometimes the ‘underdog' wins the big one, but let's face it, it's the "hot shot", "the next big thing", and the "big name" that usually makes the headlines and puts butts in the seats and spikes the buyrates. If you don't think that's true then you might not want to look too closely at those MMA and boxing rankings. Not exactly the BCS now is it? Wait…is the BCS even the BCS? What am I saying? I better end this now before Vince and Russo start factoring in match times and "finishers hit" in the rankings.
The Truth
Maybe it's just my pipe dream to use "rankings" to make wrestling look a bit more like a legit sport. Every other spot has a system to rank their athletes or teams. The one thing I thought RoH did really well was utilize this in order to make sense of the title situations and then magically it just went away. The WWE has their own ranking system which goes: 1) People named Cena, 2) guys with only 3 letters in their acronym including an ‘H', 3) the guy who sells the most merchandise which aren't listed before, and 4) raffle. In all seriousness the "e" pushes the most popular guys, that's all well and good, but the title situation is getting pretty damn repetitive, I think the ‘Draft' is coming at a good time and they manage to use it to shake up the title situations a bit. But maybe the ultimate problem here is that they are just passing off the title to the same guys year and year and they need to develop new main event stars and thus title feuds. TNA was in danger of falling into the same category until they gave Joe the title (like a certain columnist had been pushing for, so clearly Russo reads TBT for the hot Asian bitches…and you're welcome Joe) and now they have more possibilities with Joe facing off against Christian, Tomko, Sting, Storm, and a host of others. Damn…you just know it's going to be a screwed up week when I save the last praise for TNA. On hell of a screwed up week. So go out there, blog about it, post a myspace bulletin, and start a new message board thread, "Up with Rankings"!!
Coming Up Short
Great Khali offers Big Show a goat. See this is the kind of ridiculous shit I'm talkin' about when it comes to Big Show's push. They can't just give him a nice push when he comes back and put him in a feud that people will not only care about, but make him look like a dominant giant in the process. Some people enjoyed the Mayweather match and that's all fine and good, but right now the man is on a losing streak on PPV on his way back and squashing cruiserweights is not going to make him seem more legit. You put him in a match with Khali that not only will no one give a shit about, but is guaranteed to be a clunker. At this point Big Show needs a big win and a big feud to get me to care about him again. They managed to get us to care about Batista again after burying him in the mid-card with Umaga, they can't do something for the "largest athlete in the world"? They already blew Jericho's momentum after his return (and don't go thinking the IC title makes up for anything since they book that title like shit anyways) I hope they don't do the same with Show. Otherwise I'm afraid Big Show's Big Return will come up short…Big time.
6 Degrees of…
John Reid must like the trailers:
B,
Thanks for the love on the 6DO last week. Ok, not sure if this wrestler's been used before but here goes:
With the upcoming Iron Man movie I was thinking of linking everyone's favorite Shellhead to another individual who knows a thing or two about Iron Man matches….the Heartbreak Kid himself Shawn Michaels.
I wonder if Iron Man was every accused of "politicking" behind the scenes of The Avengers?
Whatchu talkin' bout readers?
"pen chance "? Seriously?
Jeff
What can I say Jeff? "Spell Check" is a bitch sometimes.
Dear Bayani,
Another cool article and thanks once again to giving your feedback to mine on the last article.
Well as usual I have some thoughts on the points you have brought up in the article. I think that Samoa Joe being a champ is a great idea, but not because he is fat, chubby or because it breaks industry glass ceilings but because he deserves it and it is the right move for TNA from a business stand point. I always say that for wrestling to work in this day and age, the product needs to be as realistic as possible. The fans today are smarter than they have ever been due to exposure of the business and readily available information. This is why I hate when a wrestler comes back after a 3 year hiatus and wins his first match against a good talent. I am all for an impact but feed from jobbers first or develope a back story. There is no way any sportsman can come back from a long period out with no practise and beat the best in the business after three weeks. So what does this point have to do with Joe and TNA, well if TNA claims the holder of their belt is the best in the business today and then some mid carder ala Christian from the WWE comes a long and takes the title what does this say about TNA's talent compared to WWE's? So if Joe can beat Angle who left the WWE on a high and become a legit champ with clean wins and epic matches that I know he can then this will give TNA a sense of legitimacy they are longing for and this will do wonders for their product. Finally their champ is fresh and not some guy who was jobbed out to everyone from the other company.
Now onto the point of fat guys in the industry. I have no problem with the idea of a wrestler with a less than perfect body hold the top prize if it makes sense. Joe looks and acts legit so him winning I can buy. Big Daddy V becoming a champ now would be stupid as it would undo all the backstory that went with him because he has jobbed so many times and hence make the belt he holds totally worthless unless he goes on a very long run and looks legit in the process. But in the start of the run nobody would care because he was not believable. I have fought and trained with some guys of Joes stature and I know how stronger they can be. Hell the guys who hold the record bench presses are all fat so put the strap on them as long as their build is good.
You mentioned that Joe would be a great champ as he represents the everyday fan. While this is true some people will choose not to cheer him as he is the representation of what they hate about themselves. They will cheer the more athletic and handsome wrestlers because this is who they aspire to be more like. The fact that the media makes us want to be slim, fit and in shape over chubby as it is healthier and more asthetic means your common fan will look at him/herself in the mirror and say I wanna be more like Cena and Gail Kim over Joe and Kong because eventhough I have more in common with them I hate this about myself and I wanna be more like the medias perception of beauty because majority opinion matters more than correct opinion. A lot of people who are not in shape are depressed and feel vindicated when they see a Cena or a James Bond on their screen and pin-point the reason for their unhappines is because of who far away they are from, from "the ideal". Seeing a Joe or Jack Black is a constant reminder of why they think they are depressed. So they cheer the Cena and boo the Joe as they are a representation of a happier future them against the depressing reality present they are respectively.
In short there is nothing unhealthy having some fat on the body. In fact the most unhealthy sportsmen in the world are bodybuilder with less than 4% body fat. This is a very unhealthy way to live. But the media and popular press idolises their idea of perfect and laments anything that does not ahere to this policy. These media companys have deals with certain products and people and need to push this agenda because there is more money and appeal in looking slim and "healthy" than the opposite. For me I think eat what you want, look how you want as long as it does not risk your health or seriously effect those around you. Put the belt on Joe because he is legit and the fact that he is chubby is an afterthought but show the world you are different from WWE with all their Wellness issues and you are willing to push the fans choice and not a companys poster boy.
Regards
Tarek
I think what we forget about when we look at the "WWE mid-carder = TNA champion" stereotype is that in sports there are plenty of examples of people needing a change of scenery to become a superstar; Kurt Warner, Steve Young, Priest Holmes, Curt Schilling, Sammy Sosa, etc are examples of guys who were "jobbers" and bench players for their first few years or more and came back as All-Stars with new teams. Although I do agree that if Bret Favre comes back in 2011 and beats the Patriots single-handedly I would cry "foul". I think the image of "Body image" and "body envy" are very unique to the American culture because of the way we both put the "beautiful people" on a pedestal and then systematically tear them down when we find out they had "work done" or are "juicing". We hate the pretty boy quarterback in our high school but also simultaneously hate the fat weirdo playing D&D at lunch. *Wait, do kids still play that stuff?* We're a self hating society with body images problems and wrestling brings out a very big part of this because much like modeling, acting, or any sports we perceive image and looks as a byproduct of ability and performance. It's weird to say but Joe winning the title may actually be one of the best things to happen to wrestling since the tragic death of Eddie since now the media can't point to wrestlers as being ALL roid cases and pretty boys. It's getting so a guy can't just enjoy a little baconator or …3 every once in a while *coughtwiceadaycough*
6 Degrees Results
It's a cake walk for one man this week:
#1
Tenchi Masaki
Hey Bayani,
Let's go with this;
1) Dragon Gate star are pretty boy BxB Hulk was the 2nd student of the Dragon Gate Dojo and was brought in to the company by Japanese great Magnum Tokyo (who also has an awesome ring entrance).
2) Magnum Tokyo teamed with another Japanese great, Genichiro Tenryu, to face Katsuhiko Nakajima and yet another recognizable great Kensuke Sasaki, on a Dragon
Gate "World" card in July of 2005.
3) Kensuke Sasaki would defend the All Asia Tag Team Titles with his partner Nakajima against the team of Ryuji Hijikata and Arashi in All-Japan ProWrestling in September of that same year.
4) Arashi had also formed a tag team with one Junji Hirata, also known as the Super Love Machine, calling themselves The Love Machines.
5) The Love Machines would be a usually heel stable featuring such members as Makai Love Machine #2, Love Machine Storm, and Mini Love Machine, whose collective
entrance music was "Love Machine", the 7th single by J-Pop supergirl group Morning Musume. (btw how awesome is that to have villains come to the ring with a pop
love-song?)
6) Morning Musume has appeared on Japan's annual New Year's Eve music show, Kohaku Uta Gassen, a total of ten times, which has also featured J-Rock star Gackt a
total of five times, and faced each other on opposing teams on the 52nd show in 2001.
Enjoy Lockdown if you're going to be seeing it.
It's like Tenchi knew he was walkin' away with it this week as he even submitted his pick for next week. Luckily this time it's not a live action Final Fantasy character. Or is it? No. It isn't. Sorry, I forgot for second there.
Layover Left Overs…(aka random shit I thought of while stranded in Denver after an emergency landing)
I heard that Matt Cross aka M-Dogg 20 wrestled in France recently. How long do you think a "Submission match" would last in a French Indy fed? I'm guessing 3 seconds.
Technically…shouldn't Claudio Castagnoli always be a ‘tweener?
How is it that Mickie James is a professed lesbian and yet Beth Phoenix comes off like a bigger bull dyke than her?
I'm sad that ECW is without Viscera. I was hoping he'd form the unstoppable monster team with the ECW champion that would take out MNM: Big Daddy Kane.
I always wanted to see the following stables as well: Ron Killings and Undertaker team up to form: The Kwik and the Dead. I also wanted to see Triple H, Bam Bam Bigelow, and Mr. Kennedy with Kelly Kelly form: HHHBBBKKKK. It's like Matt Morgan's old gimmick announcing a Shawn Michaels match huh? Or what about Matt Striker, Val Venis, and Mike Knox: School of HARDKnox? What do you want? I'm in Denver?
Has anyone else seen the commercial where the guy looks up from between the woman's legs past the stirrup and say, "Oh…I'm not a gynecologist…but I DID stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night…wow, I can almost hear myself echo…"? Maybe I just thought that up.
If you put Shark Boy in a resthold for too long…shouldn't it kill him?
If TNA is stealing every old WWF idea I fully expect them to unite Creed, Booker T, and D'Von Dudley into a group called "Total Non-Stop Affirmative Action". I'm hearing a cool theme song in my head already.
The Great Booty Debate 2008
The race is getting tight as we had another tie last week. This week we come back with Jewelyn Tamsing representing the Far East and Jessica (aka Miss Rabbit) representing the Far East LA.
Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week
She's only half an Asian…so does that mean "Happy Ending" for $2.50??
Random Latina Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week
She ain't got "Dumps like a truck" she's got Dumps like a whole fleet of trucks.
How fat does a chick have to be so when you fuck her it counts as a threesome?
I want Andrew Martin to beat his DUI rap and wrestle in Germany to fight Martin Stone. Just to see if Stone can pass the Test, or Test can pass a Stone.
If Curry Man and Shawn Michaels teamed up…they'd be the Heartburn Kids.
For me Eddie Edwards replacing Bobby Dempsey in "Sweet n' Sour Inc." is like turning your underwear inside out cuz' you're too lazy to change them.
So according to a "Born again" guy I know, God hates homosexuals. But he apparently is totally cool with HBK's ponytail, cowboy hat, and leather chaps.
I always wanted Kane and ‘Taker to feud with Hacksaw Jim Duggans and Greg "The Hammer" Valentines. Aka, The Brothers of Construction.
If God wanted us in church on Sunday, he wouldn't have invented football.
Billy Gunn and Dink would be: Mr. Assclown.
They haven't announced Human Tornado's opponent for his title match at DDT4. My sources tell me however that they are flying in another new Dragon Gate guy. I believe his name is FEMA. Hmm….must be a ‘heel' then.
Pimpin' In High Places
Sorry for the lateness this week so no time for "Pimpin". I'm running on like 5 hours of sleep…for the week. You're lucky if I can even remember who writes for this site at the moment. I hear it's being over run by Clarks though.
I've been traveling all week. It began in Minnesota, then on my way back my flight to Phoenix was diverted when a guy had a seizure on the plane. They landed in Denver because of a "medical emergency". We got into Phoenix just in time since the last flight to LA had been delayed and I ran across the terminal just in time to catch it and end up in LA and back in my apartment at around midnight…just in time to unpack, get ready for my Thursday meeting 50 miles away at 9 in the morning. Lovely. I am so tired right now typing this last sentence that I have no idea if any of this is spellchecked, funny, or even logical. Oh well, if not I'll just claim I had Lansdell fill in for me. Well looks like I'm going to get a good nights sleep tonight and it's Viva Las Vegas this weekend. If you're in Sin City, look me up, we'll do some shots to celebrate "Fat" Joe's title win. I'm not ordering the "Samoan Slammer" at the bar though. Last time my buddy ordered it a tranny the size of Kamala dragged him to the back room. God rest his poor soul.
