Tim's Take 4.29.08: The Backlash from Backlash

Posted by Tim Livingston on 04.29.2008

Oh, man. My wit is priceless. Plus, a streaming set of facts for the winners of Sunday night's professional wrestling competitions.

-The NFL Draft was bleh out here in California. The Redskins had the draft the Niners should have had, picking up 2 wide receivers and the best TE in the draft, in my eyes. The Niners didn't exactly need a tight end, but considering that their wide receivers are…well, not exactly top flight guys, how do you not grab a top wideout? Not even DeSean Jackson for the home recognition? The guys they got were a bunch of projects, and none of them are able to help immediately, which the Niners need desperately. It's going to be another long year for the Niners, and it'll end with Alex Smith's option not being picked up and with Mike Nolan being shown the door, just in time for Mike Holmgren to step into the GM seat, replacing Scott McClaughan. If the Niners win 5 games, it'll be a miracle.

The Raiders, as expected, grabbed Darren McFadden and I couldn't care less. They have weapons, but between Lane Kiffin having a Jerry Springer episode with Al Davis, and basically having to contend with three other teams who all got better thanks to either the draft (Chiefs and Broncos) or having injuries heal up (San Diego) the Raiders are going to be bottom feeding once again. Yes, I know I said that knowing full well that Brandon Marshall completely messed up his offseason with that whole goofy injury. Yes, I love Ryan Clady that much. Yes, I'm an unforgivable Redskins and 49ers shill.

But you guys want me to talk professional wrestling. So here goes the talk about the professional wrestling. I like tackle football, but sure, I'll talk professional wrestling. That PPV…man, let's look at the results as I once again missed out on actually watching the proceedings, which sucks because I would have LOVED to hear the difference between Mike Adamle and Mick Foley. In fact, would anyone else love to hear Adamle call Mick "Mike Foley" or "Cactus John" on a toss? Poor Mike. You know…the more I think about it, the more I'm starting to think it's turning into a gimmick and we've all been fooled.

United States Heavyweight Title: Matt Hardy defeats MVP with the Twist of Fate to win the title

Much to the delight of the fans, Hardy has retained so much adoration over such a long period of time that the win was treated as huge. The post-match interview should give it away that he'll be champ for a while. Problem is whether or not the challengers that will come after him will be able to match the palpable heat that Hardy and MVP had together. This is also the time where you could take some time to develop some mid-card heels to get over on Hardy. I'd like to see the Rated RMY guys get some time as opposed to just being Edge's lackeys. Maybe Mark Henry becomes a foil? There are a few ways to deal with this, but who knows if any of them will be as good as Hardy/MVP.

Matt Fact: Matt has been a Hardcore, Cruiserweight, and Tag Team Champion. This is his highest ranking title to date.

ECW World Heavyweight Title: Kane defeats Chavo Guerrero with a chokeslam to retain the title

Kane as champion doesn't do too much for me. Mainly, it's because you know what you're going to get from him night in and night out. You're going to get the same moves. You're going to get the same reactions. It's almost always up to his opponent to pull something good out of him, so imagine my surprise when Chavo is able to get anything out of the ordinary with him. Eh…maybe I'm not so surprised after all. Not sure who's gonna be getting to Kane anytime soon, but it better be soon.

Kane Fact: This is the first time Kane has ever defended and retained a world championship.

The Big Show defeated The Great Khali with the chokeslam

Contrary to popular belief, Khali isn't abysmal. Actually, let me rephrase. With the right person in there, he isn't abysmal. The problem is that Khali was working heel against a bigger face. That doesn't really work out when the heel is 420 pounds. Show is best working as a heel to a smaller face, but the thing is that since the Floyd Mayweather fight, he's been seen as a face. I like him in the mode of big, agile guy who can knock you out with a single punch, but I also think he knows what is necessary in order to put on a good match. Khali will now go into a bit of a relapse; knee surgery, amongst other things, will put him out of action for a while. Not sure what could possibly be done upon his return, but chances are it'll be more of the same. For The Big Show, I think he has a chance to feud with The Undertaker and make it actually worthwhile. In fact, considering The Big Show is in much better condition than the last time these two feuded, I'd love to see them duke it out.

The Big Show Fact: The Great Khali is the largest person that The Big Show has ever defeated.

Shawn Michaels defeated Batista with Sweet Chin Music

Ah, heel Shawn. Welcome back to the fold. He and Dave have really good chemistry, so I'm sure that this will last a while. In fact, Jericho seems to have been the beneficiary of some good booking as well. If it all turns out to be a ruse and that Jericho was in on Michaels cheating to win, then I, for one, would LOVE to see a heel Jericho and a heel Michaels team up to make Batista's life a living hell. As a matter of fact, that would make for good TV over the summer, especially if Batista has trouble immediately finding a partner. Of course, the cop out is there for Flair to come back and what not, but chances are, Batista can give the rub to someone. I'd really like to see CM Punk actually be the guy here. He's a guy who's on the rise up, and he'd fit in pretty well, all things considered. It would be something good for him to do while he builds up momentum towards his Money in the Bank shot. Chances are it won't happen, but it's a good possibility.

Shawn Michaels Fact: The combined ages of Shawn Michaels' last two PPV opponents is 98 years old.

Twelve Woman Divas Tag Match: Beth Phoenix defeated Ashley with the Fisher(wo)man Buster

Generic "Hey, let's get all the womens together and see what happens" tag match. Of course, this helps nobody because only about 2 or 3 of them are actually decent wrestlers. I still have no clue as to why you don't have the women wrestlers wrestle and the Divas manage. It boggles the mind. There are a few that could do both, but this championship isn't becoming that worthwhile. There just aren't many women that have the ability to get the fans into it. All of them just seem like they're toiling. If I had to bet, Nattie Neidhart would come over and beat Mickie James for the belt, but who knows if that'll happen anytime soon.

Beth Phoenix Fact: She's the only female to wrestle in SHIMMER and be WWE Women's Champion.

World Heavyweight Championship: The Undertaker defeated Edge with the Gogoplata to retain his title

How do you even name that move? The last time Taker tried naming a submission move, he called it "Taking Care of Business" or "TCB". One is a stupid name, the other is a stupid abbreviation. I love that Taker has changed his game up so much, but the Gogoplata (for the second time, I've written "gogoplaya" before typing the name correctly; soon, I will have probably type "gogogadget" and "gogopowerrangers" before it's all said and done) isn't smooth yet. Taker is trying his hardest to make it his primary finisher, but I don't know how well it is being received. The injury angle after the match might have something to do with improving the stock of the move. I would, however, love to see (as previously suggested on this site) a banning of the move. Move bans are always fun for angles. Think about when Michaels couldn't use Sweet Chin Music. Everyone was going crazy whenever he put a signature move on Orton. It works well into the psychological advances of a character. Considering where Edge's RMY stands, you can bet that it's going to get to something bigger down the line. I don't see Edge falling out of the picture. On the other hand, I think Taker/Big Show has to happen sometime soon. It could turn out to be a lot better than everyone thinks.

The Undertaker Fact: He's the best pure striker in WWE History.

Fatal Four Way Match for the WWE Title: Triple H won the title after hitting the Pedigree on Randy Orton. JBL was the first eliminated after submitting to John Cena's STFU. Cena was promptly eliminated himself after taking the boot in the head.

The end result is key. Triple H is now in the driver's seat. What is next? I think him and Cena could do something pretty good. Considering the Rumble, they could build to something really well done. JBL is the one who seems like he's out in the cold, here; although he has something to build off with Cena submitting him. The logical step is to have Orton revoke a rematch clause and take the belt off Hunter. What's actually going to happen? William Regal is going to cash in on his King of the Ring win, and the man who helped Hunter Hearst Helmsley first get into the business will get his chance. Since this is written before RAW goes to air, I'm not going to be able to confirm it, but don't be surprised if it's Regal and HHH somehow, someway, down the line, even on RAW. Cena/JBL could be a great brawling feud if done right, so look for that as well. The world title picture on RAW seems to be in good hands for the first time in a while.

HHH FFFact: This is his first WWE Championship in nearly six years...that lasted more than 2 hours.

WWE PPV Fact: Once again, neither set of tag team championships were defended on the show, marking the fifth consecutive PPV that neither set of tag team championships were defended. The last PPV was Surivor Series 2007, when Lance Cade and Tervor Murdoch defeated Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes to win the Titles.

In other words…where have all the tag teams gone? Maybe that's going to be my article for next week…