Brooklyn Brawlin 4.30.08: On Second Thought Maybe Vince Should've Studied More

Posted by Dan Torkel on 04.30.2008

Failing a Test worse than Jeff Hardy every 6 months...

Have we all felt the BACKLASH!!! I am sick of the shilling they do with pay per view names. Soon, every promo will talk about the impending Judgment Day. Well, another week and another PPV and I must say, color me disappointed. I had really high hopes for Backlash, especially with last year's being better than Mania and Shawn/Batista having a great build up. Quickie review:

Matt Hardy defeats MVP for the US Title: *** - FINALLY, but I was left feeling "that's it?" I kind of figured they may hold off for one last blow away match but instead they did the change here. It was good but not the match many had been hoping for.

Kane defeat Chavo to retain the ECW Title: ** - I was fine with this, just a tad peculiar that there was no interference or shenanigans and instead just buried Chavo again.

Big Show over Khali: * - Fun for about 12 seconds, then about the rest of the match too long

Shawn over Batista: *** - THIS DISAPPOINTED ME! I was expecting so much, either a full heel turn from Batista and post match beat down or a Jericho heel turn to fuel a new feud but instead we get a semi-clean win for Shawn and where does this leave Batista? He is odd man out on SD and if he goes to Raw, he is coming in with a big time loss. Very strange booking indeed.

Team Phoenix beats Team Mickie: ** - This was a fun little match with each girl getting a bit of spotlight and of course Beth scoring the win to get back momentum.

Undertaker over Edge with "THERE'S THAT SUBMISSION MOVE": ***1/2 - Not at the level of their Mania match but still a good outing from these two. I like how Foley brought up Taker countering Edge as a play on Edge being able to counter all Taker's stuff at Mania. Would've liked to see Edge save some face here as Taker is basically all-alone on SD now until the draft.

Triple H over Orton, Cena and JBL to become the NEW WWE Champion: ***1/2 - Again, a bizarre booking decision as I was sure going in they wouldn't take the strap off Orton in a multi-man match. I would've booked Triple H and Cena to take each other out allowing them to continue their side feud. Now Batista can show up on Raw and destroy Shawn sending Triple H to save and boom, new feud. Hell, send Cena back to SD and have him start up a feud with Taker for Summerslam.

All in all Backlash gets 6.5 out of 10 as nothing was so bad but it just didn't blow me away and ended being sort of disappointing. And what the fuck was with Raw going off the air during a title match. Nothing like kicking your audience in the balls after 2 hours.

Thanks to JD Dunn for giving me this week's idea with his Armageddon 1999 review. Back in early 1999 Andrew Martin was brought in to be a big guy bodyguard for Vince and Shane McMahon. He was given the moniker "Test" and served his job well enough as a generic big man. And then he got a big time break. As Shane and Taker formed the Corporate Ministry, several former Corporation members joined together as the U.N.I.O.N a rare face stable to combat them. The UNION was Mankind, Test, Big Show and Ken Shamrock. Test eventually asked out new on-air character Stephanie McMahon for a date much to the chagrin of her brother and his gang from Greenwich Connecticut, the Mean Street Posse. At Summerslam Test got his first chance to shine defeating Shane in a great street fight to gain his approval of the relationship with Steph.

Test was the perfect Vince guy. He was 6'9, 6'10 and about 280+ pounds and he had the look. He was a more than capable wrestler with some real good-looking finishers. His tope rope elbow was great especially for a guy his size, and his Pump Handle Slam and Big Boot looked great. Things progressed till the impending wedding when some guy you might have heard of snuck her away, drugged her and married her behind everyone's back. So naturally, Test goes psycho and gets revenge by challenging Triple H to a Street fight right? No, Test sits back while Vince McMahon, a 50 year old goes after his new "son-in-law." Test got on shot at Hunter and took a Pedigree and was immediately shot down the card. Years of gimmicks and re-attempts at pushing him, including IC and European Title reigns never got Test back to the status he may have achieved in 2000 and he has since become a disgruntled former employee who recently had a cup of coffee with TNA and a even more recently was arrested for DUI. So let us revisit 1999 and get that rare opportunity to retake the "TEST!!!"


PASSING THE TEST

So it is Armageddon 1999 and instead of Vince vs. Hunter it is her ruined fiancée Test getting the Main Event shot against Triple H. The same match goes down and Steph turns on her fiancée and family and sides with Triple H. Test joins the ranks of top babyfaces against the new evil McMahon-Helmsley alliance. This would lead to tag teams with Rock and Foley against Hunter and his cronies in DX as well as Corporation. On Raw, after Triple H gains it back Big Show, he defeats Test but only after Test gets screwed out of the title by Stephanie. Triple H would go on to defend against Cactus Jack at the Rumble and Test would get to the Final 4 in the Rumble before being eliminated by the Rock. The elimination would trigger an angry streak in Test where he begins complaining about being screwed by everyone, Steph, Hunter, and now Rock. Going into No Way Out Test wants a shot to be #1 Contender but its Rock vs. Big Show. He gets some revenge and a TON heel heat when HE (not Shane O-Mac) interferes and costs Rock the match. With Foley getting retired (and staying retired) and main event of WM 2000 becomes Triple H vs. Rock vs. Big Show vs. Test.

Test was part of T&A (a middling tag team with Albert) at WM 2000. Instead he rides his end of 1999 hot streak to the main event of Wrestlemania. He can feud post Wrestlemania with the Radicals, Jericho, Angle, Rock and even work back for face turn against Triple H after Summerslam. Test never did recover from the killing of his initial push and was subsequently never taken seriously as a major threat despite having the look and apparent backing of the company. Now he is just a screwed up, washed out old wrestler make news for all the wrong reasons.

Keep on sending me suggestions, ideas, and comments. To think about: My new idea for a WWE DVD series. FEUDS: Put any and all classic feuds on DVD set. Perfect recent example: Taker vs. Batista. The DVD would include:

Clips from NWO 07
WM XXIII - Title Match
Backlash 07 - Last Man Standing
Clips of Raw Cage match
Cyber Sunday - Austin as Special Ref
Survivor Series - HIAC
Armageddon - Triple Threat with Edge
Clips from NWO 08 - Elimination Chamber
Raw - Double CO
Raw - No DQ

7 Matches and all the surroundings of their epic yearlong feud. Imagine that for Flair/Steamboat, Austin/Harts, Rock/Triple H, Austin/Rock, etc. Until next time, wish me a happy birthday and pass that Kool-Aid!