The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks: 05.02.08

Posted by John Meehan on 05.02.2008

WWE Shakes Up Announce Booths, Roster Cuts Begin, and Santino Marella is YOUR Bonehead of the Week



Hey all, and welcome back to your regularly scheduled week-end dose of intrawebz 'rasslin optimism. There's not really been a ton of news over the past seven days, per se, but we did see a few blips on the old "wrestling radar" courtesy of the usual rumor mills out of Stamford, CT... and so we've got a few items to cover and a few more worth keeping an eye on as they develop nonetheless, so let's get right to it.



Balls Mahoney and Dave Taylor Released by WWE
ECW Original and WCW Journeyman Receive Walking Papers Early This Week

Bad news for Balls Mahoney and Dave Taylor fans this week, as both men were officially dropped from the company's roster in the latest round of layoffs.

Of course, this sort of thing pretty much happens just about every year around this post-WrestleMania stretch, and so it's hardly a surprise to see the axe fall like it has. As for the two "superstars" (and for as entertaining as each of them may be, we'll use that particular term loosely here for a minute) -- neither man had ever really come into his own on WWE programming, and so it's probably been a long time coming to find a pink slip in each of their lockers (Taylor was used sparingly, and had struggled with injuries so late in his career. Balls had a brief flirtation with success -- and Kelly Kelly -- late last year, but that was quickly nixed when the Vin-man himself saw Captain Caveman as a fast train to nowheresville).

This, of course, breeds speculation as to who all might be next in line to go. And so let's take a quick look into the WWE roster pages and see if we can't surmise which jobbers -- err, I mean -- "enhancement talent" might just be the next in line to go:

RAW
Charlie Haas - No joke, I'd totally forgotten this poor schmuck still had a job.
Jeff Hardy - The best of the "borderline" talents without question, but is one strike away from termination.
Brian Kendrick - Likely safe, thanks to the latest "tag team revival" kick. But this all could change in six months' time.
Paul London - Same boat as Kendrick, though he's got an additional mark against him for "behavior" gaffes in the past.
Robbie McCallister - That TNA mistake earned him a quick ticket to the doghouse, which can't bode well.
Rory McCallister - The more charismatic of the duo, but he's sunk without a partner.
Ron Simmons - Likely a "has a job for life" kinda' guy, but perhaps in cameo roles only.

Smackdown!
Gregory Helms - A great talent, but he's returning to a show without a cruiserweight division.
Funaki - I'd say he was set for life, but I used to say the same thing about Scotty 2 Hotty
Kenny Dykstra - Wouldn't be surprised in the least to see WWE "catch and release" this guy only to nab him again later.
Ranjin Singh - With Khali on indefinite hiatus, there's no reason we'll be seeing him back.
Shannon Moore - If Helms gets the axe and Jeff Hardy can't get his act straight, Shannon's toast.
Vladimir Kozlov - What's that old saying about doo-dooing something or getting off the pot? Yeah, there ya' go.

ECW
Big Daddy V - Needs to cut weight or he's out of work fo' sho.
Colin Delaney - For a guy "without a contract," he certainly does score a bunch of TV time, no?
Nunzio - I don't even think this poor bastard has a profile up on WWE.com anymore. OH WAIT! Safe!
Stevie Richards - Along with Tommy Dreamer, Stevie is the last of a long-dead breed of extreme.

My apologies if any of your favorites made the watch-list, folks... I'm just doing my small part to brace folks with a reasonable set of expectations the next time the hammer drops. For as talented as each (and maybe "all," in their own way) of these performers may well be on their own merits, the long and short of it is that WWE's storylines stay fresh by cycling people in and out with a regular rotation, and none of these men (save perhaps Jeff Hardy) has really been able to emerge from that "he too is replaceable" nature of the beast.

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Mick Foley Joins Smackdown! Announce Team
Hardcore Legend Replaces Jonathan Coachman as Friday Night's Color Commentator

In a move that many are considering LONNNG overdue, WWE finally decided to pull the plug on the woefully stilted commentary tandem of Michael Cole and Jonathan Coachman and instead to replace The Coach with longtime WWE personality and wrestling legend Mick Foley. With more than a decade of in-ring experience to his credit (much of which was spent -- intermittently -- as one of the very best "promo guys" in the business), Foley brings a first-hand knowledge of the industry and a likeable spirit of charisma that Coach had really struggled to establish despite his many years on both sides of the microphone.

Foley's inclusion on the blue brand's recurring cast of familiar faces pretty well cements the notion that his in-ring career is all but through (though as we've seen with Jerry Lawler, Tazz and JBL before him -- sitting ringside on a nightly basis eventually tends to lure just about everybody back into the squared circle for one last hurrah), but his goofy charm and industry knowledge comes at a critical time for WWE's Friday night brand, especially as they roll into the final months of their contract with the CW network and look to score a higher-profile timeslot with MyNetworkTV in the not-so-distant future.

Say what you will about Smackdown's commentary efforts since JBL left (and really, they've been quite abysmal)... but the in-ring action on that show is easily as good (if not better than) most everything you'll see just about anywhere else on television (and that includes RAW and TNA... though ECW can usually be counted on for a pretty solid contest or two of their own on most weeks). If the blue brand can bolster their audience with a dynamic and entertaining tandem of broadcasters to boot? There's every reason to believe that we might soon be bidding "adieu" to the "Friday Night" moniker and a warm welcome of hello to a more comfortable timeslot elsewhere in the weeks.

In which case -- I'd seriously start watching out, Impact. Shit just got real.

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Mike Adamle and Tazz Walk Off ECW Broadcast
WWE Teasing a "Worked Shoot" Angle for Struggling Announce Duo

As many of y'all probably saw on SciFi's ECW broadcast this past Tuesday (ahh, who am I kidding? It's ECW... NOBODY watches that poor show), Mike Adamle, WWE's newest addition to the announce booth, walked off the show during the introductions to the regularly scheduled main event. Moments later, veteran ECW commentator Tazz proceded to join the guy in exiting from the ringside area -- leaving the main event to transpire without any play-by-play announcing (ahem, I mean "storytelling") to help sell the drama that was unfolding therein. The story was immediately picked up by WWE.com, leading many to believe (with good reason) that it is actually just the beginning of a "worked shoot" storyline -- namely, one where Adamle plays the role of the hack announcer who can't hack it (based largely on the real-life fact that he's absolutely terrible at what he does).

The good news, of course, is that since Adamle is pretty God-awful as a commentator, the actual quality of the main event itself hardly suffered due to his absensce.

But that's beside the point.

This particularly unprecedented brand of entertainment (think "Beaver Cleavage" of the famed Russo years) is obviously a big risk on WWE's part, as it comes fresh on the heels of yet a*nother* jarringly "Vince Russo-esque" schmozz of an ending to Monday night's RAW broadcast, which saw RAW GM/King of All the WWE William Regal storming into the broadcast and production room and demanding (in kayfabe terms, at least) that the show's video feed be stopped at once.

So to recap...

MONDAY = RAW ends with a non-ending and an unexpected fade to black

TUESDAY = ECW ends with two announcers walking out of their commentary positions

We literary types would tend to call this sort of approach "meta-entertainment" (which is basically a breaking of the fourth wall to the point where *that* steals the focus from the scheduled entertainment itself)... but the bottom line is that twice in one week, WWE has worked two separate angles in a row that were purposely designed to get fans talking -- even if it may have been for all of the wrong reasons (WWE.com is reporting a massive influx of complaint phone calls in the wake of Monday's non-finish to RAW -- but this all could just be part of the show, folks).

Regardless --

What we're basically ending up with is a wickedly clever new way (some might say "cheap stunt") to hook fans' attention, as the "anything can happen" atmosphere of a WWE broadcast has now quite literally spilled well outside of the confines of the typical ring and backstage area. And though each of these angles may or may not actually be played out to any further degree in the days/weeks/months/etc. to come, the fact remains that -- even if only for a brief while -- people really are talking about WWE's "cliffhanger" broadcasts this week, and so it will be most interesting to see how all this plays out (and, in fact, *if* it may well indeed "pay off") for WWE once next week's broadcasts roll around.

If the ratings see even so much as a marginal spike (say, a .1 or .2 increase above the usual), don't be surprised to see WWE add stunts similar to the ones we've just seen into their famed "playbook" of "Anything Can Happen" programming -- which means that we might all be in for like-minded meta-angles of this variety at any time on down the line. For better or worse (and if it has nothing to do with improving the actual in-ring quality of the matches themselves, there is certainly a great argument to be made for "worse") -- the bottom line is that while WWE's broadcasts *feature* professional wrestling (it's right there in the name, ya' know), they are (believe it or not) first and foremost a troupe of "Entertainment" (also right there in the name)... and so they will do whatever needs to be done in order to keep fans tuning in, even if that means "breaking the fourth wall" from time to time.

Worst case scenario? The experiment fails, and WWE shows Adamle the door shortly thereafter.

But again, this is hardly a heartbreaker.

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Santino Marella Arrested for DUI
WWE Superstar Busted for Suspicious Driving Early Thursday Morning

In addition to being ridiculously irresponsible and all sorts of dangerous, this one's an easy call for our bonehead of the week award. First, your obligatory mugshot:



Now then, to the story --

Santino Marella was picked up for driving under the influence early on Thursday morning by the boys in blue in the Tampa police department. Seems as if the Milan Miracle couldn't keep his auto from swerving, and so the po-pos decided to pull him over and see what all was up. Not surprisingly, he then quickly proceded to fail a string of your usual roadside wino tests, which in turn landed him squarely into the confines of a local lockup just a few short hours thereafter.

Of course,

This has gotta' be a tough pill to swallow for Santino, as the sophomore sensation is currently riding the biggest push in his young and budding career with World Wrestling Entertainment. Though the guy is pretty terrible in terms of actual wrestling ability, his "token foreigner with a chip on his shoulder" gimmick is paying off one of the greatest heelish dividends this side of Funaki, so much so that the guy is in line for a shot a the RAW tag team titles, and is actually just a few days away from getting his very own T-shirt, courtesy of the fine folks at WWE's marketing department. Take a look at the proposed designs (and no, these haven't been Photoshopped in any way!):







Bottom line?

Dumb, dumb, DUMB move running afoul of Johnny Law at a time like this, as WWE could easily rake the guy over the coals and use this infraction as a handy little reminder that the Wellness policy is still alive and -- err, um -- "well." Losing out on TV time and a push is bad enough, but losing the guaranteed payday of a newly released item of merchandise AND a possible title run to boot?

Again, Santino Marella = YOUR Bonehead of the Week.

Not to single the guy out, of course (because let's face it, Marella is hardly the first "C"-lebrity to get behind the wheel of a car while tipsy... nor, sadly, will he be the last) -- but here's hoping WWE absolutely plays hardball with this one in order to reiterate just how serious they are about keeping their oft-maligned Wellness policy on the up-and-up. There was a time in the 'rasslin business not so long ago when "personal demons" were often played up for laughs and the sake of an onscreen storyline (Road Warrior Hawk, for example), and so it will be most telling to see how the WWE brass goes about handling the disciplinary matters regarding this latest superstar to run in with the business end of the law -- especially when you consider the fact that the guy is pretty much a "comedy character" to begin with.

Fact of the matter is that "comedy character" or not, DUI and other charges of this nature are simply NOT a laughing matter. Hate to see a superstar suffer, but there's a serious lesson to be learned in all of this, so here's hoping WWE doesn't fall victim to the all-too-easy trap of laughing this one off.


And With That, I'm Outta' Here

That'll do it for Mee again this week, folks. Thanks for reading and all the usual pleasantries... and do feel free to use the handy-dandy comments section below for anything else that was left unsaid. You know, questions, comments, public admissions of guilt -- the standard fare. 'Till next time, enjoy your weekend and what should be the warm and welcome arrival of a sneak peek at summer sun, and always stay positive!

- Meehan

The National Domestic Violence Hotline : [phone]-SAFE.