Truth B Told 5.8.08: If I Was Invisible…

Posted by Bayani Domingo on 05.08.2008

Wait…I already am. If a wrestler is back suplexed in a forest and no one sees it on TV did it really happen? Does “High Visibility” always equate to “High Significance”?

Joshua Gibson was born on December 21, 1911. He was a 6'1", 210 lbs, hitting machine that would go on to play organized baseball for nearly 17 years and slugged close to 800 homeruns in his day. Tales of his strength and hitting prowess spread throughout the land and he was later enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame some 25 years after his pre-mature death at the age of 35 years old. He didn't have endorsement deals, he wasn't featured prominently on baseball cards or cereal boxes, and he was never linked to any infamous movie stars or World Series scandals. All for the simple fact that Josh Gibson was Black and played ball in the time of segregation. Sadaharu Oh blasted an astounding 868 homers throughout his career, but few people know who Oh is. If he had been playing for the Giants of San Francisco instead of Yomiuri Oh then perhaps you would have seen John Cena wearing HIS throw back jersey years ago instead of Reggie Jackson. Some of the greatest athletes in the world are actually athletes OF the world. Something we quickly forget living in the U.S. Is it our own Jingoistic leanings or is it merely the lack of exposure and education?

While some people may look at the examples of Gibson and Oh as being unfair considering that the times and level of competition differ vastly from what they would have faced in MLB. Well if you remember Satchel Paige and Jackie Robinson, they seem to have faired pretty well in their careers. Ichiro, Hideki Matsui, and Hideo Nomo have had their fair share of success as well. You look at a guy like Ichiro and had he been a "free agent" in 1998 instead of 2001 and we'd probably be talking about the Hall of Fame for him in a few years. It really goes to show that if you can play ball, you can play ball anywhere, it doesn't matter if it's against the New York Yankees or the Nippon Ham Fighters. Coincidentally that actually sounds like the team Bartolo Colon would be most likely to play for in Japan. Those hams wouldn't stand a chance in hell. The world of sports has gone so global in years that we have proof that talent, top level talent, exists all over the world and can strive in just about any American market. It would be foolish to believe that the US offers the highest caliber of competition in every sport. I mean, how do you think a game between Manchester United and the Houston Dynamo would go? Top talent exists everywhere, maybe it's time we start waking up and smell the youtube wrestling fans.

The difference between wrestling now and baseball in the 1930's is that you couldn't buy a DVD of a Homestead Grays' or a Pittsburgh Crawfords' game back then. You couldn't look up a youtube of a music video tribute of Satchel Paige or Cool Papa Bell's "greatest hits". There wasn't the availability of media and convenience of coverage back then when it came to the Negro leagues. Unless a team came ‘barnstorming' into your town you would have probably never seen a young pre-Brooklyn Jackie Robinson or Buck Leonard back in the day. Now you can simply type in a search on ‘google' and you have instant access to pretty much anything and everything in the world of wrestling. The internet is your friend and the best thing since sliced pot brownies. I don't know if you remember but back in the day if you wanted to ‘rub one out' you'd have to either go down to your neighborhood porno stop, find the least sticky copy of "Doggie Hoser V.D.","Sixty-Nine's Company", "Little Shop of Whores", or "Black to the Future" or even worse figure out a way to hold your copy of "Big ‘Uns" magazine with your left hand and try not to get a paper cut on your scrote. Now a day they got free porno on the net. God Bless America.

There seems to be a real sentiment that because the WWE is THE pinnacle of the wrestling industry that what happens inside those confines is of heightened importance in the business at large. The problem with that line of reasoning is that while the WWE is universally thought of as the pinnacle of American wrestling, not everyone else thinks American wrestling is the pinnacle of the sport itself. It is difficult to compare the WWE to say CMLL or New Japan because they are in completely different markets. When you look at the WWE the thing that sets them apart from the rest of the companies in the world and especially in the US are: 1) a live television deal, 2) a prestigious and long history in the business, 3) production value, and 4) name recognition of their current wrestlers. What that boils down to is that more people know about the "e", more people are exposed to and have access to watch the "e", the "e" comes off as more polished than any other company, and the wrestlers that the "e" employs are more easily recognizable to a larger majority of wrestling fans. Now does that mean that the wrestlers are more talented, have better matches, are more entertaining, or put on a product that is more valuable in terms of consumer dollars than any other company? No. But what it does mean is that what happens in the WWE seems more important than what happens in any other company only because more people are aware of it. But awareness doesn't necessarily correlate to "significance".

Not all "World Championships" are created equal as we all know. Winning the CZW championship isn't quite as prestigious these days as winning the GHC Heavyweight title in Japan or the TNA Title down in Orlando. We can pretty much agree that the WWE Title is the biggest prize in the business, the World Heavyweight title being an easy 2nd place, but what about the ECW title? How would you categorize the "Open the Dream Gate" title in Dragon Gate versus the RoH title or the PWG Title? Is the WWE Women's title still more important to have if the TNA Knockouts title is booked better on a more consistent basis? Is the Women's NWA title which has a longer heritage considered better than both if it is hardly defended on TV or DVD? How many people would know who Mickie James is compared to MsChif? But if Mickie James ends up facing Kelly Kelly on a consistent basis and dragging her sorry pole dancing ass to 1-star matches while MsChif is competing against some of the most talented women in the business in 3 to 4-star affairs, which becomes more "significant"? I think the problem some fans have is being able to recognize the difference between a title, wrestler, or match being "significant" rather than being "visible".

When something is "visible" it means that we have access to see it, to perceive it, to judge it, and to assign some level of value to it. It's open to critique and criticism, it has the ability to affect and influence us. In short, it's tangible, and if it's tangible then that means its "Real". If you see something then you can instantly assign some level of relevance to it in your own mind. It's hard to say the same for events and people that you don't see or you have no access to. If the average wrestling fan is watching Kane pin Shelton Benjamin on Tuesday night then it probably has more of an immediate "impact" on them then reading about Morishima beating Misawa for the GHC title on Sunday morning. Mainly it's because the pin for Kane is a tangible and understandable event that occurred. You don't need to know much of the history or the background of a WWE match to understand what is going on, the way the WWE books at times, it's almost like they prefer if you forget about all the background and details that go into it.

Sure if you knew the history and the politics of New Japan you would realize just how much more "significant" the win for Morishima is and how years from now the impact of that will be far greater than a chokeslam for Kane, but if you don't have a vested interest in Puro then it means nothing to you. All it becomes is something that has no relevance in your life that other "Indy snobs and IWC lemmings" decides is a big deal "even though no one has ever heard of those guys". For some people they're wondering why the city that we dropped the bomb on beating the car our older brother bought used for $500 in '87 is such a big deal. Yeah, he loved that car, but the damn passenger door didn't open and you had to climb through the trunk to get in because he refused to let you slide over and mess up his sweet sheep skin seat cover. Man…your brother was a DICK. Bottom line is that if you don't personally "Care" about a wrestler, a company, or even a country then it won't have any real relevance to you and what is "visible" to you automatically becomes "significant".

There was recently a poll done which asked American voters what issue they felt was the most important, i.e. significant, to them during this year's election. The number one issue by FAR was "the economy". There were some other topics as well that garnered votes such as "gas prices" and "the war in the middle East", but far and away voters were concerned with "the economy". Some people say that it's crazy to worry about "gas prices" when the economy is in the shitter and the housing market is in worse shape than Super Dragon, but to them the cost of gas is significant because they may rent an apartment and have a steady job. Others think that the mythical "war in the Middle East" is more important because of the death toll. Then again if they don't have any friends or family enlisted or simply don't bother watching the news then they don't have the "visibility" or personal investment into the situation to apply some level of "significance" to it. If it doesn't touch or affect their every day lives then it's not as tangible to them. It's all about perception no matter how much we individually assign value and "significance" to an action or event that takes place.

This is all a very long way of getting to the subject that sparked this week's column. That being our beloved "Wrestler of The Week" column that posts each week. Writers from all over the site weigh in each week and vote for who they thought had the best week. The voting is varied and the criteria is completely subjective and up to each writer. Each week the comments and fall out seem to be more and more volatile as there is a clear line drawn between those deemed "WWE Fanboys" and "Indy-Elitists". One set of fans seem to think that the sun rises and sets around Vince McMahon's booking, while the other hates the WWE and prefer to follow the Indy and International scenes and could give two shits about the "e". Well to be fair there is a "middle ground" but those people seem to be the least vocal contingent. The crazy thing is that there is room for a "middle ground" but it consists of the two sides coming to an agreement on some very key points.

The first point would be that the WWE really IS the center of all wrestling in terms of how the vast majority of wrestling fans view them. A World Title win there is valued more highly than it would in an Indy fed or a foreign company because it has such a high level of importance in terms of history, prestige, and recognition. That being said, not everyone has to agree to that, but there is enough of a world wide concensus that I think we can all agree to the level of importance of that belt. Then again within that subset are a number of variables including how the belt was won, by whom, and when. A title win at ‘Mania is clearly more important than on RAW. A "clean" win is more significant than a "cheat". Having Cena or Randy Orton win their first titles or if Ric Flair had won the title promptly before retiring then it would be more "significant" than for Triple H to win his 39th title in 2011. There are all these variables but there are also hierarchies we can pretty much agree to. The fact that the WWE is of a higher level of "visibility" and thus "significance" to a majority of fans is one of those things we should be able to agree to. WWE Fanboys, you win that one.

The second tenet I think we should be able to agree on is that just because you don't know who someone is, doesn't mean he isn't significant or that he's a "nobody". All this really means is that you need to expand your wrestling knowledge a little more. Go google someone, wiki ‘em, or check out youtube. You could spend your whole life believing that the WWE's version of Rey Mysterio is the greatest high flyer of all-time and never stumble across a Mistico, PAC, Jack Evans, or Dragon Kid match. Taking the "If I don't know them, they don't matter" approach is ridiculous. NO…it's Ri-Doc-ulous. *I'm trying to get that word over…stay with me now* The same line of thinking is that if you don't see a match then you don't have to recognize that it happened. Look, the end result is the same, it shouldn't matter if you saw it with your own eyes or not. If I didn't buy Wrestlemania, does that mean that Ric Flair's last match should be meaningless to me? If your buddy said he saw your girlfriend coming out of his neighbor's apartment at 4 in the morning would you just let that slide because you didn't catch her mid-bone with the dude on your couch? Shit happens, just because we didn't see it, doesn't mean it didn't happen and you shouldn't give a shit about it. The problem is that most people have no idea what the significance of a match, a wrestler, or a company is because we don't take the time to find out about it. We're not ignorant…just lazy.

If I offered you the opportunity to go out on a date with Christina Ricci or Misa Campo most of you would probably think for a second and say Ricci. For the simple fact that most of you don't know who Misa Campo is. Now go to google, hit "images" and tell me what you see? Is it a poor decision to take "Wednesday" over Misa? Yes it is. Knowledge equips you the ability to make sound and wise decisions. We need to learn to although it is perfectly fine to choose one wrestler or company over another, it is not fine to do so with impunity if you are unwilling to gather enough data to make that decision in a rational manner in the first place. Why would you hate Puro? Because you don't understand what the announcers are saying? Then mute it. It's not like at ‘live' events they have play by play people there telling you what's happening anyways. Do you not like the fact that you don't understand certain gimmicks? Hell, you wanna tell me what the hell The Miz and Mike Knox are supposed to be? Is it their "no selling"? um…you ever heard of a guy named Hulk Hogan? There are tons of reasons you might not like it, but there are so damn many companies in Japan that if you can't find at least one company you like then it's probably just a cultural thing. Yeah…I said it….damn Jingoists. Same thing for Mexico. Well not exactly. The fact that I don't follow Lucha Libre isn't due to me not enjoying the pacing of the matches or the characters. It's because I'm racist against Mexicans. Just kidding. Kind of.

There are a lot of reasons for why people do not seem to like a lot of Indy wrestling. Some of these fall under the category of "It looks amateurish". Granted that your typical RoH or PWG can't afford the glitz, glamour, or behemouths that the WWE or TNA can, but they do a damn good job. For me Indy wrestling is made to enjoy "live", while you can appreciate it on DVD then that's great, but the real appeal is that you can spend $10 or $20 and see a good live show just about any week of the month without having to hope that the WWE will run a tour through your town and you might be able to catch a glimpse from the nose bleed section. If you choose not to go out and watch an Indy fed then that is your choice, but for most people there is at least some small company close enough to your area that you have access to it. For those who don't, they are pretty much stuck with the "e" and the "T". When you aren't close enough to watch a small company then the results and significance of those shows really is lost to you, it becomes abstract because you don't have a lifeline to who those people are or what they do. Again it's about accessibility. Problem is that the internet and DVD industry is so wide reaching now that it isn't even about "visibility" anymore, just what you're willing to do to find it.

This isn't about saying which company is better or what is more or less significant than something else, but about freeing yourself from the little box we sometimes put ourselves in. I have a buddy who absolutely LOVES Indy wrestling but refuses to watch the WWE or TNA because of the "sports entertainment" factor. I work with a guy who LOVES the WWE, but when I let them borrow a PWG and Dragon Gate DVD they thought the moves were cool, but he just couldn't get into it because he didn't understand the ‘storyline'. There is room for all sorts of fans in the IWC. The wrestling industry is growing in such a manner that there is something for everyone. Those who love the fast paced action and hate the "soap opera" and those who prefer the stiffer and deliberate technical bouts that have some real "plot" behind it. The problem is that we tend to cut ourselves off from anything we don't like because we feel safer in our own little world of 630 splashes or 3 minute chinlocks. It comes down to recognizing achievement throughout wrestling and giving out the respect that the workers and companies deserve.

Wrestling is like food. You may think you hate a certain kind of food, maybe sushi, or English, or Vietnamese. But at some point you might just eat something at a potluck or a restaurant you like and lo and behold it ends up being that same thing you thought you hated. I find it hard to believe you could hate absolutely every kind of food from a culture, but if you open yourself to trying everything and hating it all, but so be it. But chances are you might just find that you like spring rolls or fancy yourself a "spotted dick" after all. I know Wilcox does. We need to learn to get over our biases and preconceived ideas when it comes to the landscape of wrestling. I am just as likely to be entertained by an episode of RAW as I am to turn the channel to cartoon network half way through. The late night meal after a PWG show is just as likely to contain a spirited debate for an hour about which match was the MOTN as it is trying to figure out if I even want to bother going to the next show. No company is perfect and you have your good shows and bad, so maybe the "fan boys" and "haters" can take a break, flip on their TV, pop in a DVD and just enjoy a little wrestling.

The Truth

Some weeks RAW sucks. Sorry, but it does. I'm a "wrestling first, entertainment second" kind of guy. It doesn't mean I don't try to tune in to watch RAW, ECW, or Impact whenever I can. The fact that some people universally hate RAW every week is ludicrous. Not every RoH match or New Japan match is an automatic MoTY candidate no matter how many message boards you visit. That doesn't mean that just because you aren't able to see it live it means any less than a show you pay $45 to watch. Its funny that we put so much stock into things we can't see yet we refuse to believe the hype we believe a company creates itself or the hype the fans try to create. Look, we've been stuck in a war for years over some imaginary "weapons of mass destruction" and there is a little thing called "Christianity" that has been around a few years based on "faith" and a really old book. Let's just say this...wrestling fans...get out of your boxes. Buy a DVD, watch some internet matches, take in an Indy show, and tune in on Mondays. If you still don't like it, fuck it....at least you have some decent material for the ‘forums'.

Coming Up Short

I don't want to see a 101st episode of ECW. It is making me seriously sad. The whole show was about the greatest moments of the "New" ECW and when you look at the roster now it's a farce. Nothing about the show makes me care about anyone on it and each week I catch bits and pieces of it makes me wish even more that the truly talented and marketable wrestlers with potentially bright futures like Punk, Morrison, Burke, Shelton, and maybe even Kofi would get "Drafted" to the two real brands. Having Kane and Chavo help out doesn't seem to work since they are working against each other and not the young guys who could really use the help and the "rub". Either make ECW their own distinct brand of young wrestlers, basically a truly televised "developmental brand" like the NDBL or NFL Europe, or just let Smackdown fully integrate into ECW and borrow some of their real "Big Names" for the show to spice things up. Sorry but Kane and Chavito hardly qualify as "big names" anymore. The show this week made me sad. It has such potential, but every time they waste 10 minutes on the more boring strip tease/cat fight ever or they insist on letting Mike Knox wrestle makes me wish Sci-Fi would have dumped the show. ECW has failed in my opinion because the WWE refuses to allow them to truly compete with the other two brands. Why create a 3rd brand just to make the other two look that much better by comparison. Oh wait…it's the old "Dress your brides maids in ugly ass dresses so the brides looks that much better on her wedding date" syndrome. I get it now. Well if ECW still exists in their "always a bridesmaid…" mentality then my motivation for even acknowledging them in this column will be coming up very short in a few months.

6 Degrees of…



As for my pick for this weeks link, with all of the bad press the WWE seems to get, like Randy Orton throwing food at hotel staff or Michael Hayes making racial slurs, I think we should go with a true professional in the wrestling industry (the world's oldest profession that is)…Ashley Massaro.

Andy O'Connor

Well she was bound to come up in conversation this week. I wonder if she'll change the name of her flying elbow drop finisher to the "One Trick Pony". That would be boss. This week we also surprisingly had the other winner of last week's 6DO claim his prize and to be honest I have no idea who this chick is. I wonder if she's any relation to "Hot Rod".

Well Tenchi Masaki let's see who you got for me this week…

And this time I pick U.K. pop star and actress Billie Piper.



I'll allow it. So we have a British Piper this week and a Meat Piper. Nice. Now let's see if we can't get…I dunno…maybe TWO entries in for next week.

Whatchu talkin' bout readers?

Jing Dalagan throws up a few suggestions for the RABLGOW:

Asian Pic of the week Candidates

megumi kudo and manami Toyota respectively

Okay, so I took a look at the pics Jing sent in and…um…well they could have been better. I do like the way you are thinking in terms of giving old school Joshi some love. For those who don't think that Kudo sounds familiar you may have seen some of her handy work as she was the originator of the Kudo Driver, aka Vertebreaker. Man, so much bad ass shit came out of Joshi back in the day. In fact I believe this isn't' the first time Kudo and Toyota have been mentioned as my old friend Maria Theresa had brought up…wait a second…Dalagan…where have I heard that last name from again? Hmmm…oh well, probably "pure coincidence", anyways I think you might be on to something and as a "tie breaker" in the "Great Booty Debate" perhaps we'll set up our own "Survivor Series Teams" of Latinas vs Asians. Then again I have a feeling it'll be ten times harder to knock out the Joshi chicks…fighting spirit and all. (btw, before you ask, I WILL allow Sexy Star).


6 Degrees Results

#2.

1) The Scotsman was voiced by John DiMaggio.
2) John DiMaggio appeared on "Chicago Hope" with Mandy Patinkin.
3) Mandy Patinkin was in "The Princess Bride" with Andre the Giant.
4) Andre was born in Grenoble , France .
5) France is where Rob Conway claimed to be from during his stint in La Resistance (before he claimed to be from Quebec of course).
6) On the July 3, 2006 episode of RAW, Rob Conway and Matt Striker were defeated by the debuting team of Robbie and Rory McAllister.

If only I could have found a way to work in the Grace Park à Edgemont à Kristin Kreuk link in this one because that seems to guarantee victory.

Andy O'Connor

I was kind of sketchy on the Scotsman-John DiMaggio link, but I can't allow the Andre to France link. That isn't really a full link Andy. A country to a person? Nah, can't let that one slide so this week I am officially declaring this a "No Contest". I know this is going to cause some ‘controversy' but at least I didn't cut off the entry at the 4th link and just fade to black. Which probably would have given me some votes in next week's WOTW. *BURN*

#1.

Hey Bayani,

Dealing with a couple crisis so no time for the usual mindless banter from me.

1) The Scotsman made his debut in an episode by encountering Samurai Jack in the middle of a hanging rope bridge and sparked one of the most hilarious and insane verbal exchanges I have ever seen between their voice actors, John DiMaggio and Phil LaMarr.
2) Similarly, Phil LaMarr as Samurai Jack would have some great exchanges with the undisputed master of evil Aku, as voiced by the late great Mako.
3) Mako went from being the master of all evil to the master of all tea and uncles...or whatever...in one of the last roles of his life as Uncle Iroh in Avatar: The Last Airbender. In the series Iroh was the eldest brother of the reigning lord of the Fire Nation, FireLord Ozai, whose voice was supplied by an evil Mark Hamill.
4) Now Mark Hamill is famous for being one of the most memorable sci-fi heroes of all time...but he's an even better villian! In the series Justice League Unlimited, Hamill supplied the voices for the Trickster, Solomon Grundy and the Joker! But he wasn't the voice for another JLU villian Despero, the diabolical evil Martian was voiced by Keith David.
5) No one can mistake Keith David's unique deep bass voice when they hear it, but not many can pick him out of a group if they saw him. But I can and so can Roddy Piper's fists, they starred together in the cult classic "They Live" and have the best fight in an
alley over a pair of sunglasses ever.
6) At one point while they were still getting over and the WWE cared about tag teams, Roddy Piper took on the Spirit Squad with help from not just Rory, but Robbie
McAllistair, the Highlanders in six-man tag action. Is there anything Roddy the Piper can't do?

Tenchi Masaki

Well hope you make it through your "crisis" all right, and when you do you can bask in the glory of your 6DO win. And then you'll have a new hot Asian pic to spank it to. Hey, I try to do my part.

Left Overs…

Did anyone else think that "Deuces Wild" was the name of Randy Orton's new brand of gym bags for women? No…sorry…that's just some crazy shit then.

The newest changes to the "Wellness Policy" include a new testing procedure where the participants have to drop their pants, pull up their shirt, and show them their WWE title belt or t-shirt sales numbers prior to receiving a cookie, some apple juice, and a slap on the ass on their way back to their dressing room.

The reason for the change to the testing procedures is that a former employee got caught trying to cheat the urine test earlier. Apparently Chris Masters tried to write the answers down on the bottom of his shoe prior to his release. Oddly enough…all he had written down 3 times was "False".

In the works at WWE Films is a "coming of age story about a young girl's first crush and "First time"". The movie was delayed after its original title, "There Will Be Blood", was already copyrighted.

Rumor has it that Lashley was granted his full release in order to keep quiet about "racism" in the WWE. Other rumors say that he was granted his release in order to just keep quiet. "…well i say your name is finlay and YOU'RE A BATH-TARD." Somewhere out there Lashley is enjoying a peaceful vacation…hunting wabbits.

Randy Orton requested some "time off" after complaining of burnout and the birth of his first child with his wife. Seeing the size of Orton and knowing how big that kid is probably going to be at birth, it must be comforting to know what Randy won't be the biggest pussy in his household in a few months.

The possibility of having to fire Hayes in order to keep Henry after their "confrontation" just leaves a "Big Black Mark" on Smackdown.

One Night Stand will again feature all matches being contested under "Xtreme Rules". That means that "Anything's Legal". It is rumored that Ashley will now be moved to ECW as a result.

NBC still in talks with Matt Morgan and TNA about bringing him in as an American Gladiator while still being able to make wrestling a priority. I could see why TNA would fight so hard to keep the guy. No one has more "Drawing Power" than "The Blueprint". I'm such a CAD. *that's officially your ONE engineering joke for the year…enjoy*

I STILL can't believe that some of the writers voted for William Regal for the Wrestler of the week this week. The man cut a promo and stopped a title match. He didn't even WRESTLE. Hell, Vickie Guerrero stripped ‘Taker of the belt, shouldn't that have had a bigger impact than turning off the lights? Turning off the lights isn't reason enough to be the WoTW. That's not "important" that's a rolling blackout.

Deuce and Domino lost their Cherry on WWE.com this week. To see the video you will have to be at least 18 years old with a valid credit card. Oh, that Deuce IS wild.

The Great Booty Debate 2008

I'm running out of chicks to run in this contest. Really I am. I spend about an hour each week just tracking down fresh faces, linkable pics, and anything that isn't showing a nips or vag so Ashish won't pull this whole column form the site. Sure, it's a labor of love, but that love is starting to chaff. Pretty badly actually. So enjoy the battle this week between Thuy Li and Veronica Becerra.

Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



Damn it, this Asian chicks must have been laced with something, I can tell.

Random Latina Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



Now if Archie had to choose between THIS Veronica and Betty it would be a "no contest". That is if Archie wasn't gay. C'mon…Jughead…Archie…Reggie…why do you think no one was ever shown even sliding into 2nd in those damn comics.

Anyone else looking forward to the new "Legends of Wrestlemania" game in the works at THQ? I hear there is a special "Cheat Code" that allows you to automatically Main Event any Wrestlemania. It's: Up, Up, Down, Down, B, A, Select Cena.

Did anyone else catch Adamle mention on ECW that Bam Neely was a former boarder guard? Well as the saying goes, "If you can't beat ‘em…"

Top 5 "Ashley is a hooker" Jokes I could come up with in 2 mins
5. So Matt Hardy went from dating an "amateur" to a "professional". Slick.
You do realize the economics of this is: 10 tricks OR 3 wrestling moves both equal $250,000.
3. No wonder Ashley seemed to uncomfortable in the ring wrestling around with another girl, the ring wasn't covered in KY and there wasn't a 80 year old Oil tycoon throwing wads of $50's at them wearing a diaper and a pacifier.
2. So those aren't lip piercings after all. They're the hooks to hang the "For Rent" sign on.
1. Cue the Godfather's return to RAW in 3…2…1…

Pimpin' In High Places

So back to normal this week. Let's see what we got out here in the wonderful world of 411mania.:

Sully and his "Happy Go Sucky Report" gets the first plug this week for this little gem of a quote "I don't care what the dictionary says, if someone is paying you to spend time with you, it's prostitution. I hope Sully realizes that THIS MOVIE will now be forever tarnished in my memories. "Adventures" indeed.

Ask 411 tackles the REAL issues facing today's wrestling fan. Like why is John Cena so pasty compared to the DX-aloompas who fake ‘n bake. Yeah. These are the hot buttons issues that could have swung Hillary into the White House. Why didn't she listen??

D-Dubya is back and decides to steal an idea from Andy Clarkcito. Way to be Dubya. Steal a man's idea from his column based on stealing other people's ideas. In some circular logic that cancels out all the stealing right?

Westerfeld talks about Human Tornado's injury and then offers up his suggestion on doing something with the title at DDT4. I read it twice and didn't understand the concept. Somehow I think it ends up with someone winning two titles or two more teams being added and someone would have to get a ‘Bye' or…I dunno, it's probably the same way the BCS ends up making USC the #1 ranked team every season. Let's just let the tag teams have their day…we'll worry about the World title in June. M'kay?

Wrassler o' Da Week. You know you love the controversy.

Lansdell bids a fond Farewell to "The Way-I-C-It" as he moves off to the "dark side" that is the "news reporters". My condolences to the tens of ten people who will miss reading his column each week. oh and my condolences to the same tens of ten people who will now read his new report each week.

Bond, Julian Bond. He shakes, not stirs up more controversy on the man known as "That dude who got HHH's sloppy seconds".

Sforcina is just being ri-DOC-ulous this week. (Yeah, I'm trying to get that new phrase over…ri-DOC-ulous…)

This week's CoH has more Cusson for the Pushin'. You know, I'm not sure if you pronounce Jerome's name like I think it is…but if so. That is one awesome tag line. He owes me a nickel if he starts using it.

Well surprise, surprise, but your ol' buddy B has branched out into yet another zone and I make my debut this week on...Sports Fact or Fiction against none other than the "Boss" himself...CSONKA!! If you want to see some "pwn-age" of the highest calibur this is a can't miss edition. Don't worry, no *spoilers* this time. This promises to be an EPIC war as the sports zone gets invaded by the wrasslin' folks!!

DDT4 is coming up soon and as of Weds night there is no announcement on what's going on with the World Title. I guess you'll have to tune into my "Live Report" next weekend to find out. For those who care about PWG you may all be kind of wondering who the next champ will be. If it were up to me I'd hold another mini tournament and have some of the singles matches next weekend be "Qualifying Matches" and the June Show be the last of the qualifiers. They have a double shot on the 5th and 6th of July (which consequently changes my B-day plans) so they can crown a new champion then if they want or finish the tourney in June. For my money they really only have a few viable champs out there who are built up enough to make a good run with the belt: Chris Hero, Roderick Strong, Claudio Castagnoli, and a returning Low Ki. Then again, who knows. Maybe we'll see the triumphant rise of Hook Bomberry to the pinnacle of PWG. Or not. Man, if they could only find a way to book Country Bear away from EWF. I love that dude.

Till then, the Truth will set you free.

-B