Wrestling’s 4R’s 5.16.08: RETRO Judgment Day, Cena’s Back, Armando’s Jacked, TNA is Wacked and Smackdown is Smacked and More!

Posted by Larry Csonka on 05.16.2008

I ran out of wacky rhymes by the time I got to Smackdown. Also this week we have special guest stars Daniel Wilcox and Stuart James!




In HD where available…

TNA iMpact!:
By: Larry Csonka

iMpact 5.08.08:

THE RIGHT:

The X-Division Opener: After what seemed like weeks of being ignored in order to waste our time with the Douche's Wild Tag Team Clusterfuck the X-DIVISION returned to Impact. This was to serve as a preview of sorts for the TERROR DOME match at Sacrifice. I was glad that they didn't have some wacky 10-man match because they would have essentially been giving away the match minus the cage. I was still leery about it, but as mentioned, they had gotten no time on the shows and they needed to announce who was in this gimmick match. The match was Petey Williams vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Johnny Devine vs. Curry Man vs. Shark Boy vs. Consequences Creed. Petey was not going to be in the TERROR DOME OF DOOM, but they did mention that the match was to crown a #1 contender for the X-Division title. This was the opening match on the show and it was great because it was the X-Division being the X-Division, going balls to the wall for 7-minutes, hitting fun spots and making the crowd pop. Every one got some time to shine and in the end it worked very good as a preview style match. Rave winning was surprising, and the only real bad from this was that poor Petey got his face broken. This was good stuff though.

Cage and Rhino/Team 3D and LAX make me want to love the Deuces Wild: This was one of those simple things that made me actually forget the stupidity of the tournament and made me want to see some matches. Basically Cage and Rhino cut a promo, saying that they have been friends, partners and enemies for years, and that they know each other so well that they would be favorites in the tournament. This OFFENDED Team 3D, who came out to discuss their 20-tag title runs, that they were the favorites and the fact that Devon poked Cage's wife 20-times, yeah, that led to the brawl. It was a good brawl and then LAX came in and joined the party, obviously OFFENDED because they thought that they were the favorites. A fun brawl that made me want to see matches with these three teams and ended with a Border Toss by Hernandez to Cage into a wall. Good shit.

Scott Steiner w/Rhaka Khan and Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash: To begin, and this may seem like I am nitpicking, but follow me here. Steiner and Angle agreed to work together for the night, because they had a common enemy, Joe. They agreed that they had a mission, and that mission was to isolate Joe and beat him down. That was a sound plan. Now let me preface this with the fact that the match was a good, although short main event. If their plan was to isolate and beat down Joe before Sunday's main event, they did one piss poor job of it. Maybe someone should have given them profile cards, because the guy they isolated and beat down looked a hell of a lot like Kevin Nash. Seriously now. If they want to get cute, they should have pulled something like Nash watching on a monitor and pondering his next move. We can then have the idea that Nash is taking the bullet for Joe. We can guess that without it, but it just seemed odd for their whole plan to be dismissed. The match was fine though, and after the match WHICH SAW NASH DO THE JOB Angle took out Steiner with the slam and ankle lock. I was thinking purgatory, but the Nash job is a rare thing and bumps this into the right.

CRYSTAL IS BACK~!: Welcome back baby!

PURGATORY:

Knockouts Immunity ~POLE~ Match: Oh yes, we had a Vince Russo standard on Impact last week as the POLE MATCH returned to Impact. I was dreading this because not only was it a POLE MATCH, but it was a POLE MATCH with nine participants! It had disaster written all over it. But despite the match, these nine ladies went out there and put on a damn fine display. It never slowed down, it never got boring, the top ladies all got their spots in, and Miss Jackie Moore I feel did a good job of directing traffic in there. She also folded up Traci Brooks like a cheap tablecloth with an awesome German suplex. It just all clicked, hell they did a tower of doom spot and the crowd reacted like this was the greatest pole match in history. It may have been, because 99% of them suck cock. Gail ended up winning immunity to the shock of no one. But here are my problem(s). At the PPV you are going to run a battle royal/ladder match/hair match/#1contender's match. WHY do we need to add ANOTHER stipulation into the mix with the immunity? Seriously, it is overkill. I still say that this match should have been a battle royal that got us down to 2 ladies, and then at the PPV they could have just ran the ladder match. Here is my other issue, just days after this show toy are having a PPV match, with these same NINE ladies and Rhaka Khan. If people saw a variation of the same match for free, they why should they pay for it?

27-MINUTES~!: Usually every week I discuss the amount of wrestling that we have on the show. As I have stated repeatedly that I think that 35-40-minutes a week of wrestling should be the goal with the 2-hour show since TNA is striving to be different, to be an alternative. I will take 30 and be happy. Some people feel that this is unreasonable, but I don't. Also, once again to remind people, the reason I discuss it about TNA each week is because THEY claim that they are an alternative to the WWE product, which is entertainment based. TNA is supposed to be about the wrestling. Anyway they were just a couple of minutes away from hitting the right again. We has adequate amount of time this week, a few of the matches could have used a bit more time, but again, this isn't that bad.

THE WRONG:

Random pairing my ass - NO DQ MATCH: James Storm vs. Sting: Jim Cornette had come out to kick off the show and stated that since people were ringing his phone off of the hook that he was going to announce some of the randomly paired tag teams. The first one was James Storm and Sting. They hate each other, and Cornette said that the people that got paired tonight would also have to face each other tonight. That's great, I thought they were trying to build a tag tournament; maybe he should have forced them to tag together tonight. Amazingly enough Storm and Sting argued and brawled. They then had a NO DQ match later in the show, which was about as average as you can get, got roughly 5-minutes and once again James Storm was Sting's bitch. I wish Sting would get around to that "putting over young talent" phase of his career. I know he is willing, but management needs to start letting it happen.

Random pairing my ass - Matt Morgan vs. "THE MEGA STAR" Kip James: Jim Cornette came out to announce the next paring for the Douche's Wild Tournament, which was Kip James and Matt Morgan. I am SHOCKED. Kip tells Morgan that he is the MEGA STAR and that all he has to do is follow orders and they will be fine. The man is a black hole of charisma. He fuck face, stop bringing up DX. They brawled, they had their match, it was there, Morgan won with the bicycle kick (Big Man Starter Kit: Finisher #4) and that was that. This was also one of those things I hate; they go to commercial 20-seconds in, and then they come back three-minutes and twenty seconds later, all for the purpose of having a match that goes a total of two-minutes and thirty seconds. LAME. What is the purpose of a match that is shorter than its commercial break? At that rate you're better off doing a big brawl deal.

THE RIDICULOUS:

NADDA:

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SmackDown!:
By: "The Whole Geoffin Show" Geoff Eubanks

WWE SmackDown 5.09.08

The Right

*NOTE* - The Championship Chase tournament (and subsequent/pertinent issues relating to such), the battle royal and the qualifying matches will all be discussed separately, in and of themselves.

"I gotcha, Punk" – So said our United States Champion, Matt Hardy, after having narrowly bested Mr. Money in the Bank 2008, CM Punk following the opening match in Vickie Guerrero's Championship Chase tournament. A fun, rugged and brisk little contest, I could definitely watch these two battle for at least twice the time allotted them here tonight. Hardy took early control, effectively abusing Punk's left arm, an injury Punk would sell and psychologically incorporate the duration of the bout in noteworthy fashion. I love the contrast in styles here, as Hardy, now the veteran in the ring, appears to rely more upon a pre-determined game plan, whereas Punk seems to be employing a traditionally more "Hardy" approach of flying by the seat of his trunks, busting out a move from his rich, creative arsenal at a split-moment's notice. In the end, however, we saw Punk prove yet again that he belongs in the ring with the big boys, but that he's just not quite to the level where he can effectively get it done and bring home the "V". Matt Hardy advances to the battle royal.

Easily the Match of the Night – So much for a return to seeing Finlay come to the ring to his own ominous music, as opposed to Horny Little Bastard's decidedly more jovial tune, but no matter…Horny did his thing straight away then hibernated, thus allowing daddy-dearest to dig deep and have a fantastic bout with MVP. If the prior Hardy/Punk match was rugged, this one was downRight brutal. MVP initially had control of Finlay, targeting the left arm. That said, as much as I think Finlay would rather be laying in punches, The Fighting Irishman came on strong at the midway point and showed the former USC what it really means to pick a part and put it through the ringer, as he attempted to rip off MVP's leg and take it home with him. There was even a sweet spot on the mat where, as Finlay was contorting MVP's leg, MVP attempted to fight out by returning to the arm, a double simultaneous submission situation! Finlay got the better of the exchange, but neither man was any the better for it.

Finally, in a finish that had Dusty Rhodes grinning and nodding at his TV, saying, "That'th the way yuh do it, babuh," (also recalling the IN YOUR HOUSE:BEWARE OF DOG '96 HWT finish between Shawn Michaels and Daveyboy Smith) both men, presumably exhausted from the skirmish, essentially pinned one another when neither was able to lift a shoulder in a double-pin predicament, forcing Vickie Guerrero to make a judgment call with respect to which, if either, man would advance.

All in all, this appeared to be an advertisement for MVP. Without question, Finlay is a badass of monolithic proportions, given his seemingly effortless capabilities, thus, for an un-intimidated MVP to stand up to him and take the early lead, then hang with him, both in terms of kayfabe AND "reality", speaks volumes for the kid. At this point in the show, I could easily see both of these contests re-matched on PPV, contested for longer and for major belt.

The Animal is surprised by The Shaman of Sexy – Wow! I know I've been touting the creative, unique in-ring skills of John Morrison, but I never expected to see him fair so well in an honest, one-on-one contest, especially where there was logically more on the line for Batista than for Morrison himself. Let's face it, when there's a shot at the WT on the line, we all know Big Dave is headed onward and upward in favor of a tag champion.

HOWEVER, let's not forget the match itself; Morrison came to impress tonight, plain and simple. The Shaman of Sexy straight up earned the advantage in the early going, using his speed advantage and a cunning and a ring awareness I'm not sure Batista knew Morrison to possess…let's bear in mind, these are not two men who have a lot of history against one another; plus, in terms of looking at this "realistically", it stands to reason Morrison would do more homework on Batista, preparing for that shot against the big-timer, than the other way around, so kayfabe-ly speaking, this was really psychologically solid.

Morrison was nothing short of impressive, especially when making his decision to go this alone, actively forfeiting whatever aid his partner, The Miz, was ready and willing to afford him, having joined Morrison on stage, the latter effectively telling his partner, "I got this…I'll do it alone," sending The Miz to the back. Damn commendable for a heel. However, Batista's power and weight advantages, as well as big match experience, took over and it was quick curtains for Morrison, though not after an impressive display. I expect big things from Morrison in the future, but, again, the pecking order comes into play, and Rightfully so.

puRgatory

Dance, puppets, dance, part two – Let's look at the tournament holistically. Last week, Vickie stripped The Undertaker of the World Title because he'd added an illegal choke to his repertoire and "remorselessly" utilized such move to win/defend the belt (I loved how Mick Foley just laughed at Vickie for expecting anything BUT remorselessness from Taker), also effectively banning Taker from using The Devil's Cross.

Tonight, Vickie created a five-match tournament, open to all current and/or former singles champions on SD! and WWECW, the winner of each match moving on to a sudden-death battle royal to name a #1 Contender facing The Undertaker, who'd been given **by Vickie** a bye to the final match at JUDGMENT DAY. Edge was originally unable to compete in tonight's festivities as a result of not yet having been medically cleared, having suffered in The Devil's Cross at BACKLASH.

The Moo-moo-cita attempted to set forth a mood of magnanimity in the opening promo when the entire plan was revealed (although Edge's "status" should have been a tip-off that something was up), allowing Taker a bye to the final match at JD, and again, making the "Right" decision to allow both MVP and Finlay to advance to the battle royal when both battled to a draw (why not, when she knew she'd include a fresh Edge at the last moment to eliminate whoever was left anyway?). These, of course, were red herrings to throw us off the scent that Edge and she had a screw job in the works. One could even suggest the reason she set up Chavo to fail in his qualifying match against Kane (read on) as opposed to mobilizing the RMY in his favor was to preserve the fallacy of fairness she was perpetrating throughout the evening, although in the grand scheme, seems pretty short-sighted.

However, in terms of practicality, there was a LOT wRong with tonight's tournament. First of all (and this is trivial), I was really surprised, this close on the heels of Raw's King of the Ring one-night tourney, that we'd see another so soon (although I LOVE tourneys, so I was all good). More importantly, though, was the fairly obvious nature of who would and wouldn't be advancing just in terms of the participants and where they already were on the JD landscape. WWE Mobile leaked the fact that the team of Kane & CM Punk would be challenging John Morrison & The Miz for the WWETTTs at the PPV, so, logically, it stands to reason that Kane, Punk and Morrison were going to be out of the picture…I mean, Kane, the WWECW champion, vies for the WWETTTs AND his half-brother's WT all on a tri-branded PPV? Not even HHH gets that much exposure. Would it have killed WWE Mobile to have held off on this announcement such that the tournament would seem more plausible? Elsewhere, we'll likely get a Hardy/MVP UST rematch in some fashion, which leaves Finlay, Dreamer, Chavo, Batista and Show as possibilities for the main event, and I seriously doubt we'd ever see the former three challenge for a world title on PPV.

Then there's the bald fact that the entire night's point was, well, pointless, as we ended the whole thing with a huge swerve from Vickie and Edge. This reminded me of back when Kurt Angle was the GM of SD! and held a one-night tournament to find a #1 Contender and ended up screwing the actual winner in favor of pushing JBL to the top slot (who hadn't even competed in the tourney) because he was a great American. Although the extenuating circumstances are a bit different, the basic result is that the point of the entire night was a big waste of time. WWE is entering into this weird place where booking is concerned, where the powers-that-be are not only slighting the talent, but the fans Right alongside and I'm not too sure how effective or wise it is, overall (comparing tonight's shenanigans with Raw's King Regal's new habit of killing the house lights mid-match). It's skirting dangerously close to Russo-rific booking and I hope they have sense enough to toe that delicate line before they cross it and actually piss off fans out of watching. There's some backstage stuff as to WHY all this went down and why Edge will be regaining the WT, but we can get into that another time. One question, though…Vickie's banned Taker from using The Devil's Cross at JUDGMENT DAY…what if Edge turns the tables and uses it on Taker himself…?

A royal battle – Although I have some issues pertaining to the manner in which we got to the battle royal, I rather enjoyed it, and I generally do not care for battle royals. This, however, was not a typical such contest, as we cut Right to the chase and didn't bother ourselves with the usual BR fodder, Michael Cole blathering, "Funaki, Mick! Maybe FUNAKI will be our new #1 Contender!" No, we went straight to sudden death with six tournament finalists Batista, Kane, Matt Hardy, MVP, Finlay and The Big Show.

In the end, following a damn good showing by the eventually eliminated other four, Big Dave was the lone man with Show and went for broke, putting Show in Batista Bomb position…although why I've no earthly idea. Dave was spent by this time, both from the punishing qualifying match as well as the BR itself…did he really think he was gonna hoist that much girth in the air? And even had he executed the move, that'd be almost half a ton of dead weight to chuck over the top BY HIMSELF. So unless Batista knew Show would attempt a back-body drop AND that he'd be able to counter with a hurricanrana to send Show to the floor, that spot was totally contrived. It was pretty awesome to see and an exciting "end", but contrived nonetheless.

Of course, though, out came a school bus in a wheelchair…oh, wait, it's Vickie Guerrero in a yellow blouse…to happily announce that Edge had miraculously been cleared and, thus, would be immediately entered in the battle royal. Edge bolted to the ring, speared Batista (who was still on the apron after eliminating Show) and went sprawling to the floor, Edge finding himself Right back in line for the WT. There were some holes in the plan, as discussed elsewhere, and I definitely have some issues with the tournament as a whole, but, in the end, there is a certain amount of continuity implicit in the manner in which Edge has again found himself in this position, considering his history with the $itB briefcases. Like it or not, there was some clever shit going on here.

Any way you slice it, we were bound for a mismatch – That's always been one of the drawbacks to booking The Big Show; because he's SO massive, virtually anyone booked to face him is at an absolute disadvantage. I'm also a bit confused with respect to what, exactly, McMahonagement plans on doing with Show now that he's back and still has so much (thus unrequited) heat from an uber-hyped WrestleMania appearance. Last week it seemed as if he was being steered toward a go-nowhere clash against Mark Henry, and still might, simply taking a night off to become involved in the Championship Chase. My heart tugs at seeing Tommy Dreamer, Show's victim, erm, opponent tonight, who was still selling the lingering effects of an extreme rules match against Mike Knox (snicker). Not that I'd ever expect Dreamer to be allowed to be or do anything of any worth or import, but I wish he could have a bit of a nobler twilight to his amazing career. Well, sometimes swallowing one's own medicine is tougher than others…there's a pecking order in place, and Show is much higher on it than is Dreamer, so here we are…The Big Show advances to the battle royal with ease.

"Kelly Kelly *might* be a little outmatched…" – Mick Foley suggested that in somewhat sarcastic fashion as the subject of his comment had the shit beaten out of her by still-undefeated Natalya. This issue continues to be what it is, the simple introduction of Natalya. I enjoyed this a bit more this week, simply because sacrificing a diva like Kelly Kelly in a brief squash match more effectively showcases Natalya and her abilities, as opposed to finding herself somewhat mucking through a messy tag match with other divas who may or may not be up for a grander such undertaking. Michelle McCool looked on from the back, wondering, along with the rest of us, if she's managed to bite off more than she can chew. I don't much care about the storyline and it still seems pointless to have these three wrestling-able women (Victoria, Natalya, Michelle) on a brand without the title, but these are decisions made out of our hands.

And now for something completely un-addressed on SD! – Last week I happened to catch on WWE.com Deuce & Domino, in no uncertain terms, straight dumping Cherry in favor of the more skankolicious Maryse. I held off on discussing this last week because I figured we'd get a little blurb on this development on Friday night, as it's actually quite significant. I mean, Cherry, whom we've seen being featured increasingly more often in her Right, was not only dumped by her on-screen boyfriend, but her own brother! It was always my assumption that Cherry would be used as the catalyst to split up the team, since it's a pretty cut-and-dried premise that would work. But if McMahonagement wants to go a different way (as in, they see more of an upside to Cherry diva-ing on her own), so be it; Cherry will likely be more useful in and of herself as opposed to trying to find roles for the seriously sub-par performers of Lenny & Squiggy in singles competition, even if this web exclusive video could have gathered much sympathy for Cherry, and the opportunity to blow off a relationship over a year-and-a-half old was completely squandered by not being seen by a majority of fans.

What strikes me as completely foolish is to have wasted this turn of events on WWE.com, when stuff like Natalya's squash of Kelly Kelly and still another "match" from the Russian makes WWE-TV. Providing exclusive content as an incentive to direct increased traffic to the web site, which is a major corporate goal at the moment is a noble endeavor, but it's imperative that the content to be shown in exclusive fashion be selective and appropriate. It's the equivalent to buying a PPV and getting a Carlito promo instead of a pivotal match that occurred before the show went live, which eventually sees the light of day as an extra on the DVD.

The wRong

THE RMY misses a golden opportunity – Okay, I know I said I was going to discuss the qualifying matches and the battle royal apart from the tournament as a whole, however, because of Chavo Guerrero's involvement in THE RMY, as well as his own personal recent history with Kane, I think at least some of my thoughts bear discussing here.

So THE RMY's big plan with respect to the Championship Chase was to initially feign Edge's eligibility, yet suddenly being allowed to compete in the battle royal's closing moments, a fresh Edge having an edge over his opponents, who had otherwise to qualify for such battle royal. Are they really that shortsighted? See, it seems to me that if THE RMY's going to green-light so much chicanery, if they're going to reach out and become such a large group (altogether, there's Edge, THE EDGEHEADS, Ryder & Hawkins, Chavo, his bodyguard, Bam Neely, as well as Vickie Guerrero…that's six people!), wouldn't you be looking to stack the deck as much as possible?

I say this because here was a shot at not only screwing a monster like Kane (whom we must assume would have an advantage in a battle royal-type situation) out of even qualifying, it could set a precedent for Chavo's supposed quest to taking back "his" WWECW Title, adding heat to that situation. For Chavo to have lost this match was a little Ridiculous; hell, for Vickie to have even pitted Shabbo against Kane without even a contingency plan was foolish! Here was an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone and all she did was feed her nephew to the lions! Chavo's bodyguard outside the ring involved himself on his beneficiary's behalf all of once and we didn't even see Ryder & Hawkins on tonight's show, so it's not like they were previously engaged.

I'll give Chavo credit, he faired better than I thought he would, and he did manage to send Kane on to the finals with a bum knee (which ended up not even being addressed in the battle royal, much less becoming a factor), it just seems to me that if I'm trying to mastermind a shortcut to getting Edge back into the World Title situation, I'm going to utilize all the options at my disposal, especially if the final showdown is against a genuine badass who has also proven himself to be the master of mind games such as The Undertaker…and if I can screw over his brother in the process and help Chavo back to the WWECW Title, so the better! What's the point in assembling an RMY if the troops are sent into battle without a plan? Or is Vickie Guerrero simply a cleverly disguised George W…? (That's for you, Cook!)

Again with the Russian – Seriously, can we just have The Big Show squash this guy to hell and send him along his merry way? Maybe to the Ultimate Fighter competition, you know, if his legitimate credentials are as solid as Michael Cole continues to suggest week in and week out? This is SO boring and we all know it's not going anywhere. Just…stop.

Let's brush up on our time management skills – I was stoked to have seen so much time go to the actual in-ring product this week (one of the myriad reasons I enjoy one-night tournaments as much as I do…we always get more wrestling per capita than under virtually any other stipulation or situation). However, with an issue of such importance, dubbing a new challenger for the vacant WT, I don't see the harm in suspending this business with Natalya & Victoria, or with the Russian, for a week to allow for greater time spent on the qualifying matches, as Hardy/Punk could certainly have benefited from more time. If McMahonagement is bent upon keeping Natalya fresh in our minds, so be it, give that program a quick backstage skit and present this week's squash next week and give us a week off on the Russian or continue to spotlight them on WWE.com.

In fact, I have a sneaking suspicion we're going to see a follow-up on the whole "Festus' injured throat" thing from last week, otherwise, why would it have been brought up out of the blue last week? That seems like a much more important story than either the build of a diva on a title-less brand or the shoving down our throats of a guy who will never amount to anything more than being neo-Brakus.

The Ridiculous

NADDA~!

Remember people, show Geoff some love by emailing him here: [e-mail]

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MONDAY NIGHT RAW!:
By: Daniel Wilcox

Raw 5.12.08

THE RIGHT:

William Regal Speaks and John Cena Returns: Raw kicked off this week with William Regal in the ring, getting great heat for his recent actions, and he began the show by having Lillian Garcia sing God Save The Queen, which I got a big kick out of and as you'd expect, the crowd hated it. Regal demands respect and has a couple in the third row thrown out. What was even better about this was the fact that the couple weren't even amongst the thousands chanting "Regal sucks" so it makes him look like even more of an asshole. As it turns out, the couple were guests of Mickie James and Mickie pleads to make Regal let them stay. Even though it lead to the backstage segment between Cena and Mickie, which might lead somewhere in the future, I thought her appearance served little purpose. John Cena shows up and gets the crowd hyped, did some jokes, which I actually found to be funny (the WCW Thunder knock was tremendous) and then we get Regal setting up tonight's main event. Regal ensures there'll be no interference so we're left wondering what Regal is up to. This was good stuff to kick off the show, hype Regal, hype Judgment and hype the main event.

Chris Jericho Apologizes: As has been the norm for this feud, the best parts of it have comer from the mic work and tonight was no exception as Jericho apologized to Shawn Michaels. Things then get a little messy but it turns out that Shawn was faking the injury all along. Jericho does a great job of acting like an excited kid who just worked out the solution to a math problem, which irritates Michaels so much that HBK serves up a little bit of Sweet Chin Music. This latest development means that Michaels is now the more likely of the two to turn heel, but now Batista is going to want revenge because Shawn faked the injury and overall, there are more questions being asked which means people are going to want to watch the shows to get answers. It's been a great angle thus far and I'm loving all the possible directions they could go with it. What's even better about this is that at Judgment Day, we're going to be getting a normal one-on-one match between the two as opposed to Michaels working through injury, so we're practically guaranteed a great match on Sunday.

Cena vs. Orton/Cage Shenanigans: So our main event was John Cena looking for revenge against Randy Orton. It's worth noting that Orton kicking him in the head at Backlash explained Cena's absence. It's a simple explanation, one that they could have brought up over the two weeks he was gone, but at least they did think to come up with something. These two men have worked together plenty of times before and they had another good match in the main event. The commercial hurt it but it got fairly decent time and they worked in a lot of offence despite the numerous rest holds. And just when Cena regains control, William Regal brings out JBL as the guest referee. I liked the fact that instead of trying to fight a losing battle, Cena simply attacked JBL and forgot about Orton, and this allowed Orton to get a win with a quick count from our special guest referee, and ending which I much prefer to a typical "no contest." We get the brief two-on-one beat down and Triple H makes the save for Cena. JBL and Cena brawl through the crowd and then the cage lowers on The Game and Orton. Kudos for ensuring the cage came down when Orton was in control, because you know that that's going to be attributed to Regal. Anyway, Triple H fought Orton off and tossed him through the cage, giving us a very brief preview of Judgment Day. The segment got great heat and was a good advertisement for this week's pay-per-view, so I really have no complaints here.

Divas Tag Match/Beth Attacks Melina: After asking John Cena out for a drink after the show, Mickie James teamed up with Maria to take on Beth Phoenix and Melina. Considering what was going to go down, could they not have shown Melina inadvertently costing Phoenix the title last week? That's the only complaint I have with this though and it is just a minor one. There was some miscommunication between the heels, which Beth took personally and she walked out on Melina who then quickly lost to Mickie. The match was very short, and very basic but the best part about all of this was the backstage segment later in the show. Melina is talking to Jillian when Beth Phoenix gets in her face. Melina showed some spunk and attack The Glamazon after she made some threats, but Phoenix overpowered her and laid her out. I have to say, this was an unexpected development and it was very well done, and now we have a triple threat match for the Women's Championship at Judgment Day, a fresh change of pace because it's rare a Women's title match is anything other than one-on-one.

THE PURGATORY:

Jeff Hardy Returns/Jeff vs. Umaga: Jeff Hardy returned from his suspension on Raw this week and got a massive ovation from the crowd. He cut a brief promo, simply saying he made a mistake and he missed the fans and the ring, and that he was back to win championships. There's no need to make a big angle out of the drugs thing and now his absence has been explained effortlessly. William Regal interrupted and wanted to punish Jeff, so he makes Hardy vs. Umaga. These two men have displayed some great chemistry in the past (their matches at The Great American Bash last year and in a cage in January were both awesome) and we saw a little glimpse of that here. Hardy started off like a house on fire (pun completely unintended, but there's no way I'm taking it out now) and had Umaga reeling, and the crowd was loving it. Umaga quickly got back on offensive and beat Jeff down, but Hardy comes back, connects with the Whisper in the Wind and that gets three. I did intend to complain about having Umaga lose so quickly and so cleanly but let's face it, it was one of those wins that come "out of nowhere" and Umaga was caught by surprise so he won't lose any momentum over it. But still, a 3 minute, fluke win over Umaga isn't the best way to put Jeff over on his big return but then again maybe that was never their intention. One thing is for certain and that's that the fans still adore Jeff so that will keep him at a pretty good level for a long time to come.

Cryme Tyme vs., Cade and Murdoch/Cade Turns: We got plenty more tag team action again this week on Raw and our second tag match came with these two teams. Murdoch had been losing matches for his team in recent weeks, much to the chagrin of his partner Lance Cade. This week, they worked a brief little match, which was completely inoffensive, and this time Murdoch scores the win with a roll up. Cade and Murdoch celebrate and Cade gets Murdoch to sing their victory song, only to turn on his partner and lay him out with what was a very nice right hand. What I liked about this was the delivery. While I saw a turn coming, I did not think that it would come this soon and indeed, it came at the time when I least expected it. The shot itself was great and Murdoch looked hurt and confused. It didn't get great heat, but that's down to the fact that these guys are on TV four or five minutes a week and that's not enough time to make people care about them that much. And what reason do we have for splitting these guys up right now? Let's face it, neither is going anywhere any time soon although both have a lot of potential. You can rest assured that these guys will be placeholders on Heat whether it's as a tag team or as singles wrestlers. Now we're just weakening the division for the sake of weakening the division.

THE WRONG:

Mr. Kennedy vs. Snitsky: This booking reeks of short sightedness, I'm afraid. One week, Mr. Kennedy returns and turns face by getting all up in William Regal's business. Kennedy is crazy over and now in a feud with Regal that continues the next week when Regal puts Kennedy in a match he's bound to lose, which he does. And then this week… nothing. Kennedy gets a win over Snitsky in a match where Snitsky got way too much offence and Kennedy pretty much looks like a chump. It's clear they don't know what to do or where to go with him and now Kennedy is the 5th, maybe 6th biggest face on Raw as opposed to being the 3rd or 4th biggest heel. As I say, creative clearly hasn't thought this push through otherwise Kennedy wouldn't be wasting time in a match with Snitsky instead of continuing the good work they'd started with Regal. At least Kennedy got the win, and the match wasn't as horrible as it could have been, but in 3 minutes, how bad can it get?

THE RIDICULOUS:

World Tag Team Championship Match: I don't get it. They spend weeks building this match up. They even go as far as to give Cody Rhodes some mic time. They build up a little sub plot involving Rodney the Piper and Santino, and the fans were actually into it. It actually looked like they were putting a little effort into booking the tag champs and their challengers. I can't believe people were thinking that tag team wrestling in WWE was becoming more prominent because despite the build, despite the heat and despite one of the greatest wrestling personas of all time being involved, these guys go out there, do the best they can do with the time they're given and it's all for nothing. Now the onus is off of the titles and onto Santino's beef with Roddy Piper. For those who haven't got it yet, the tag straps are nothing more than a prop and it's a shame because they almost had something here.

---

ECW on Sci-Fi!:
By: Stuart James

ECW 5.13.08:

The Right:

CM Punk vs. The Miz: ECW opened with a tried and tested way of hyping up a tag match at a pay-per-view, by having two separate single's matches (one being later in the night). While this match was short, it was incredibly fun and action filled, from start to finish. I question the logic in having Cookie Monster Punk lose cleanly as he holds the Money in the Bank briefcase, it's a great way of building up The Miz as a serious competitor, and the match made me enthusiastic to see what they could do at Judgment Day together. In that respect, this was very Right, and an awesome way to kick off the show. It wet my appetite ready for the PPV, which is always good.

Cherry, Kelly Kelly and Michelle McCool vs. Victoria & Natalya & Layla El: Oh yes, I kid you not! This was very much Right, as they kept the wrestlers who can't wrestle (Kelly Kelly and Layla El) on the side and look hot while the ones that can wrestle control the match. Now it was a short match indeed, and did nothing in terms of hyping the pay-per-view, but it was far better than it looks on paper. Cherry is actually a really good seller, and as harsh as it may sound, I really enjoyed watching Natalya and Victoria beating the holy snot out of her. Natalya is just getting better and better in the ring and this one makes it two for two in terms of good segments.

The Legacy of Colin Continues: This was wonderfully done, I think. A lot of people have complained about the fact that Colin has lost straight away after getting his contract, but the fact is he's in a feud with Estrada. Estrada comes out early in the show and says Colin will face Mike Knox. Colin, bless his little heart, was too happy with his new contract to care, and then proceeded to get killed in less than a minute. Now, I don't care for Mike Knox (Adamle wonders if Mike Knox has ever run into Rambo, which was really funny to me), but its still entertaining because Colin can sell a beating like nobody I've seen in a long time.

So then Estrada comes down, announcing himself as the newest member of the ECW roster, and then beat Colin with a sick looking inverted suplex. Colin's nose looked really busted up, it continued Colin being a fluky little bugger, and it continued Estrada as the biggest dickhead on ECW. This was truly great stuff, and I love that they're not just making Colin a guy who goes on a great streak. Also, Colin being announced as 167lbs and his promo package prior to his match was brilliant. The epic journey of Colin shall forever more continue!

The Main Event Delivers: This week's main event of ECW was the ECW Champion Kane vs. one half of the WWE Tag Team Champions, John Morrison, in a non-title match. Simply put, based on expectancies coming into the match, this kicked ass. I don't know what it was, but they worked a simple big man-little man match, with the little man being a cowardly, athletic superstar, and the powerhouse fan favorite. It was simple, but it worked, and was a really solid TV main event. Morrison worked over the leg and Kane sold it really well by Kane's standards, and in the end, both men looked strong throughout. The heel tag team looked great on this show, as Miz helps Morrison win by distracting the referee so Morrison can hit Kane with the title belt, and then hit his sweet springboard enziguiri. It wasn't a MOTYC by any means, or even a great match, but it was a pleasantly surprising solid match, that I enjoyed from bell to bell.

It ran about quarter of an hour, and it was a good back and forth match, probably Kane's best all year (and while that doesn't say much, its still good stuff). What's better is the heel won, and he won in a simple way that boosts his credibility, Kane doesn't look hurt, the title match is hyped, and everything works! Great booking indeed.

The heels then did their beat down of Kane until CM Punk ran down and went for the save … only to get the boots to him also. This was a fun way of making the tag title match seem really important, and two really fun, energetic matches makes for a mouth-watering appetizer ready for Judgment Day.

John Morrison & The Miz's Entrance: It kicks ass. Simple as. It needed to be said, and I don't get to do this often, so here's the credit it deserves.

So who shot the old ECW booker…: Because this show rocked! I'm not over hyping it, because for a go home show before a PPV to have a really enjoyable fifteen minute main event, a fun-filled five minute opener, some good build to future angles and a surprisingly entertaining divas match, it was a pleasant surprised, as I expected nothing special and five two-minute matches. What we got was an all round fun wrestling show; one of the best hours of wrestling I've seen this side of Wrestlemania. Nobody was hurt throughout the entire show, and almost everybody involved gained just a little more hype about them. I'm not usually a huge fan of the new ECW, but everything they did tonight was pretty damn great, and if they keep it up, then ECW could gain the hope that nobody wants to give it. Last week's ECW was fairly average, and the week before that was bad, but this was an awesome rebound and I look forward to watching some more ECW like this. Great work WWE!

Purgatory:

Shelton does not approve of Kingston: This week, we got a continuation of the Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin feud in a brief segment where Benjamin said Kingston was incredibly lucky for beating him twice in a row. They pushed each other a bit, with Shelton going into a wall, so Benjamin looked as though he was going to retaliate, but didn't. This was fine, as it built tension, but the reason this is PURGATORY is because I'm not convinced it's going anywhere meaningful yet. If they're just going to blow it on another three-minute match then it's wasted, so I'm hoping that they're building to a big match so we can finally see Kofi get some exposure. I'm also not too convinced of Kingston yet either. However, as it is, this was fine, and would have been Right were it not for my own skepticism. We'll see how this goes next week.

The wRong:

~NADDA

The Ridiculous

~NADDA

---

RETRO WWE JUDGMENT DAY!:
By: Larry Csonka

The Matches:

Ric Flair defeated Carlito @ 15:44 via Submission **

ECW TITLE MATCH: Bobby Lashley defeated Umaga, Shane and Vince McMahon @ 1:21 via pin (DUD)

CM Punk defeated Elijah Burke @ 16:55 via pin **¼

Randy Orton defeated HBK @ 4:48 via ref stoppage (DUD) TRASH of the Night!

WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Hardy's defeated Cade and Murdoch @ 15:06 via pin ***¼ MATCH of the Night!

WORLD TITLE MATCH: Edge defeated Batista @ 10:39 via pin *¾

US TITLE 2 of 3 FALLS MATCH: MVP defeated Chris Benoit @ 14:18 via pin (2-0) **¾

WWE TITLE MATCH: John Cena defeated Khali @ 8:15 via submission **


The Right:

THE HARDY'S vs. THE DERVISH - A late edition to the card was the World Tag Team Title Match between the Hardy's and the Redneck Whirling Dervish! In the end it was a great addition to make because it ended up to be the match of the night in my opinion. The match was damn good, and they continued to play up the face Dervish angle perfectly. They had a very well put together match, and Cade and Murdoch are really showing that they deserve this. Murdoch in particular was great, as he would randomly yell out, "BY THE RULES MAN!" This was just a fun and energetic match that did not seem nearly as long as it was, and the Hardy's got the clean win in the end. After the match the Hardy's offered the handshake the crowd chanted for it and they got it. This is also great because when they FINALLY do turn, they will be tremendous assholes, in turn good heels and the crowd will finally care. I liked this a lot.

BENOIT vs. MVP - The semi-main event of the show was the US Title match between MVP and Benoit. Now these men have had great matches lately, and with MVP losing the major matches it was fully built for this to be MVP's coming out party. The decided to work a very ground based/MMA style match, which technically was good but didn't keep the crowd as much as you would think. MVP worked the knee, which played perfectly into the first fall finish of the knee buckling and MVP getting the playmaker for the win. He continued the knee work and was able to counter Benoit and finally took the knee out, and got a roll up for the second straight fall and won the title. In the end while the decision was right, and the way MVP won was EXACTLY what I talked about last month, the quality of the match lacked as opposed to the other matches they had in my opinion. I said in the roundtable that 2 of 3 fall matches have hurt great wrestlers in the past, due to odd booking, lack of time and so forth and that kind of happened here. But overall this was good stuff, I just hope that they follow it up properly.

CENA vs. KHALI - Yes, I am putting this here. Going into the match I will fully admit that I not only was I not looking forward to the match, but yes, I thought that it would be atrocious. I had no hopes whatsoever and was hoping that it would not be in the main event. But it did get into the main event spot, and in the end this was the right call. First of all the crowd was AMPED for this match. They HATED Khali, they LOVED Cena and wanted nothing more than to see their champion SLAY this monster. This was the classic monster vs. smaller man match. Was constantly tossing Cena down to the mat and the floor, head butting him, using the Vulcan neck pinch and even throwing a big ass roundhouse kick! People hated every time he threw Cena down and popped every time Cena mounted any form of comeback. It just worked and it was not bad. Anyway, Cena got the top rope fameasser at one point, applied the STFU and Khali ended up tapping out. Now the funny thing is that, and I am not sure that this was intentional, but Khali's one foot was under the ropes. Now either it was under the ropes because he is 19 feet tall, or because he was really trying for it and since this was the first match, they want an excuse for the 2nd match. I am actually ok with this because that nullifies the tap out, and Khali is still a monster. This was all fine and I have no real complaints.


Purgatory:

PUNK vs. BURKE - Right here was the battle for ECW's future as young Elijah Burke did battle with CM Punk. I had said in the round table that these guys had a lot to prove. They are looked at as the future of the brand, and being that this was there first big PPV match they had to deliver, and really, deliver big time. During the initial first minutes of the match, it did not look good for either man. First of all there was no crowd heat, and it appeared as if they were not on the same page. Those first few minutes were cause for concern, but they finally wrangled things in and all was well. More hard work, a good superplex spot that they teased for an extra couple of seconds before delivering was the big turning point and then they finally got the crowd. They traded finishes near the end, and finally Punk got the Go2Sleep for the win. Punk scores his first big PPV win, and I could easily see a rematch at ONS III, or possibly a tag match with Elijah and Cor Von against Punk picking an Original, Thorn or a new partner. In the end they worked very hard, and tried to work a different match than the rest of the card, which I commend them for. A lot of things on this card all ran together, but Punk and Burke went out there, worked hard, hit hard and worked a more Japan like style and I liked that. But the bottom line is that the way they and ECW have been booked people are conditioned not to care about them. So right there they are working an uphill battle. No one gave a shit until the last 3-4 minutes, of a near 17-minute match. That was the other issue, these guys shouldn't have worked a 17-minute match. 14-minutes or so, especially when you consider that the 2 of 3 falls could have really used a few more minutes of build. It was fine, but there was no heat until the end and the first part of the match was very rough.

FLAIR vs. CARLITO - Flair and Carlito opened up the show. Now let me say that there are nights that Ric Flair looks like Ric Fucking Flair, and then there are times when he looks like 58-year old Richard Fleir. For me tonight he was somewhere in the middle, he worked like Flair but looked very tired. But they had this match, and it went almost 16-minutes. Carlito did very simple, yet very good work of the arm and shoulder. He is working better as a heel, but I am still not going to save his praises until he works with someone not Ric Flair. They worked hard and it all seemed fine and Flair after getting beat down for a large portion of the match made his comeback, locked in the figure four and won! While the work was fine, this match seemed like it started off like a stick shift. They started the car, started down the road and got to about 3rd gear and never left it. You really expected it to take off and it jus never did. The crowd didn't have much heat for Carlito, but loved Flair. It just lacked overall, and in the end it was very simple, it worked overall and hopefully Flair was able to teach young Carlito something here.


The wRong:

ECW TITLE DRAMA - The 3 on 1 ECW Title Handicap match was the second match on the card, and well, they did something that I think they thought they had to do. Lashley came out there, they jumped him, and then he ran wild for a minute and then pinned Shane McMahon, and was announced as the NEW ECW Champion! You know what I was thinking. Why didn't he just do that last month? I guess the answer is that he wasn't this angry last month, but he sure was this time. But as you could all expect, after he was announced as the new ECW champion Shane and Umaga whooped his ass and Vince announced that Lashley won the match but NOT the title since he didn't beat Vince. This is all leading to ONS III in TWO WEEKS, where Lashley will get Vince one on one, that is scary, but I figure it will be extreme rules and they will have 50 run ins. This is not Austin vs. McMahon, Lashley isn't Austin and this is not working the way that they are hoping, in my opinion anyway. This is one of three programs on ECW and damn if I don't care about it.

EDGE vs. BATISTA + A bigger issue - So now we moved onto the World Title Match. What upsets me is that yes, I know all PPV's are tri-branded, or what ever the flying fuck they are calling it, but still, you'd think they would at least try to balance things out and or give the appropriate show the nod as far as total matches and or the main event.

-Let's look at the card:
Flair vs. Carlito – RAW
Lashley vs. Shane, Vince and Umaga – ECW/RAW
Punk vs. Burke - ECW
HBK vs. Orton - RAW
Hardy's vs. Dervish - RAW
Edge vs. Batista - Smackdown
Benoit vs. MVP - Smackdown
Cena vs. Khali – RAW

-So the scores go as such:
RAW – 4.5
SMACKDOWN - 2
ECW – 1.5

-All right, so on a PPV that was traditionally a "SMACKDOWN" PPV, they get a fraction of the show, and not only that but their champion cannot buy a main event on a "combined show." They had to add a match, so they added the Hardy's vs. Dervish match, which in one way I am glad they did because it was the best match of the night, but if you would have added London and Kendrick vs. Joanie Loves Chachi then you could have evened things out a big more. Unfortunately they don't care about making Raw and Smackdown even, because "Raw is the A-Show and Smackdown is Smackdown." Fuckers.

-But there was a title match here we should discuss. I had some high hopes for this bout. Dave has been working well lately with Taker, and Edge is great so I hoped that there would be some good stuff coming from this match. While I will say that Edge worked his ass off, not saying that Batista didn't, but they did not click. I think Batista was either totally off his game, or sandbagging a bit because he was pissed he didn't get the title. Like when Edge went and whipped him to the steps, he stutter stepped and nudged the steps. Not like Taker or Foley who hit knee first and flip over, and this is important because Edge worked the knee and that came into the finish. That was Batista looking for a spinebuster, knee buckling and Edge getting a roll up for the win. That needed to happen, and the one good thing, we got a winner with no bullshit finish like Mark Henry running it. We like clean finishes. But for a World Title match, it was very lacking and this was the first Edge match I have been bored with in a VERY long time, and that is never a good thing.


The Ridiculous:

ORTON vs. HBK - I did not like this one bit and again I have to repeat what I discussed on Friday, the one thing I didn't like is that they played up the concussion angle. I feel that this reflects poorly on the company. Chris Nowinski still works with WWE, and is a crusader against concussions and the long-term effects of them. Recently Nowinski was in the news when Andre Waters, a former Defensive back shot himself in the head due to depression due to post concussion syndrome. There are huge studies going on linking Alzheimer's-like symptoms and depression rise in direct proportion to the number of concussions an athlete sustains. For a company that "supposedly" promotes an active wellness policy, this might not be the story to pursue. I mean the alternative is simple when you use 3 seconds to think about it. HBK has a bad back, was put through a table last week, you tease that his back is giving him trouble again and bam, instant story. Glorifying the concussion angle isn't that smart a thing, considering how much controversy there is about the long-term affects. It just isn't that smart a move. Some will say I am overreacting, but it is my opinion.

As for this PPV deal itself, they have Orton attack HBK and slam his head into the set, and that was the seed. HBK comes out to the match, and let me preface this all by saying the man is a phenomenal actor and sold this all tremendously. JR sold this tremendously. Orton tried to make the ref announce him the winner because the doctor wouldn't let HBK compete, which meant that he was making his way out and he did. He did so, staggered, glassy eyed, and "competed," which really was Orton killing him with a hanging DDT and such. But he managed to fight Orton off and get the big elbow, but unfortunately for HBK the power of Christ couldn't compel him for the super kick, the Christian Rock band stayed out of tune and he collapsed. The ref called for the bell and Orton won. He then gave HBK an RKO, because he's a heel and then even MORE dramatic bullshit happened. HBK's smoking hot wife hit the ring, screaming and crying. Medical personnel hit the ring and they stretchered him out.

As mentioned about, I did not like this and if you listen to the podcast there is more in there too. Bottom line is this. HBK blew the fuck out of his knee and couldn't compete. I wish that they would have ran the KNEE injury angle, and have Orton totally destroy the leg with chairs, a car, dynamite and perhaps even taking a shit on it. Something that works better and doesn't mess with such a serious issue. My wife described it best, whether you want to be or not you're a role model and while it is entertainment and people will say I am taking this too seriously I feel that they are sending the wrong message here with the glorification of working with a concussion.


Closing Thoughts:
After a very good WrestleMania and an even better Backlash offering, the company had garnered some good will with me and I had some hope going into the show. Overall I look at it like this: Carlito vs. Flair never got into gear for me, the ECW title stuff was silly and Punk and Burke worked hard, but since they haven't been booked so that people should care about them, no one did. I hated the Orton/HBK stuff, mainly because I hate the concussion angle. If they would have done the knee I would have had no issues there. The Dervish and the Hardy's worked well together again, and I think they have much more in them. Edge tried, but he didn't have magic with big Dave and that match was a LONG 10-minutes. MVP and Benoit was good, and I liked the work with it, but they had built up in terms of match quality, and this one never seemed to get near that peak. The main event, while not great, was the spectacle that they wanted, the fans enjoyed it and it was not bad.

Overall I will go with a 5.5 out of 10 for the show and NO recommendation to buy. There is nothing that stands out that you HAVE to see, and overall this was a very mediocre show. Last month I talked about Sacrifice having elements of underachieving, but this show was much worse in that respect. Lots of talent, lots of teases, but they never got out of 3rd gear.

And I'm out of here!