The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks 05.16.08

Posted by John Meehan on 05.16.2008

Shorter than an Ultimate Warrior squash match!



Welcome back, all. It's been an incredibly SLOOOOOW week in the wacky world of pseudo sports, but we've got a few items worth discussing just the same. So if you're like many folks out there wrapping up finals, exams, papers and/or gradjeeashun -- well, consider this column your ten-minute study break for the day. I'd write more, but there just ain't all that much out there to cover!

WWE Cancels Rey Mysterio's China Tour, Lends Support to Earthquake Relief Efforts Former World Champ's International Trip Cut Short by Natural Disaster On Monday afternoon, a devastating 7.9 magnitude earthquake struck the heart of China, causing billions of dollars in damages and claiming upwards of 19,000 lives in the process. While the disaster struck, injured-reserve WWE superstar Rey Mysterio was visiting the country on a media tour. WWE promptly cancelled the remainder of Mysterio's press circuit, opting instead to use Mysterio's presence in China as their spearhead to partner with the AmeriCares organization, and to raise much-needed support and funding for the country in this most difficult of times. You can make a donation to the relief efforts by clicking here. The earthquake in China is a monumental and most untimely disaster, as the Asian continent is still reeling from the recent cyclone in nearby Myanmar, which claimed more than 20,000 lives less than two weeks ago. Clearly, there are bigger things in the world than professional wrestling -- and even if the cancellation of a media tour seems like the most obvious of moves at this point, it is still good to see WWE lending their voice and support to the international relief efforts during this hellacious and heartbreaking time.

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American Gladiators Draws Scary Low Rating Midseason Show's Future Now in Jeopardy Bad news for American Gladiators fans this week (and possibly for fans of Matt Morgan, as well) -- as the show's recent re-arrival onto the regularly scheduled broadcast lineup of NBC was received with an abysmal 2.9 Nielsen rating upon its highly touted redebut. Two point nine is a GREAT number for ECW or iMPACT (they're lucky to draw just about one third of that figure), and a decent number for Smackdown! (which usually fetches somewhere in the mid-to-upper 2-point-somethings), a rating this low during a PRIME TIME, NETWORK television timeslot has got to spell trouble for the future of this once-promising midseason pseudosports/entertainment hybrid. If cancellation is in the show's future (which is seeming more of a matter of "when" than "if" at this stage in the game), this is particularly bad news for fans who may have hoped to catch a glimpse of TNA's Matt Morgan in his role on the American Gladiators program -- one that would have seen him donning the gimmick of "The Beast," an ubergladiator who was led to the arena in a cage. Morgan's stint on the show was scheduled to start as of episode six this season -- but there is every possibility that it might not even live to remain on television that long. On the bright side (well, for Matt Morgan and his fans at least) -- Several weeks ago, it was reported that Morgan had decided to pass on a guaranteed American Gladiators contract in order to stick with his bread-and-butter of being a TNA regular. Though the contract details were later hashed out in such a fashion that Morgan could do work for both companies, the terms of his new Gladiators deal were far less stringent than the previous offer... meaning that Morgan is still sitting pretty with a TNA contract even if the American Gladiators ship goes down in a blaze of bad-ratings glory. Smart, SMART move right there by Matt Morgan... as he looks like a total pro (wrestler, that is) for keeping TNA as his priority all along. Even when it seemed as if the lucrative and long-term offer of a network contract with NBC might have been the easier route (after all, we all know Goldberg milked WCW for everything they owed him *years* after the promotion folded) -- Morgan was wise enough to hedge his bets and stick with TNA, proving that he is BOTH a dedicated professional wrestler AND a smart businessman at the same time... two skills that can only work in his favor in the years to come. It's often said that there is an easy way and that there is a right way -- and that those two ways are rarely the same. Matt Morgan's near-miss with American Gladiators seems to prove that one quite true. Even though sticking with TNA means that Morgan will likely have to work a harder and more regular schedule in order to gain the same kind of coin that the bosses at American Gladiators were dangling his way, he has pretty much proven beyond any shadow of a doubt where his priorities lie first and foremost in all of this -- and that is in the business of professional wrestling above all else. Given time, perserverance and some luck, this sort of commitment is precisely the type of thing that translates to a great deal of success. I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision to make, but I wish the guy nothing but the best.

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Ultimate Warrior Training with Rob Van Dam Two Former Champs Team Up for Warrior's In-Ring Return And from the "strange but true" corner of the wrestling universe this week, it was announced that the Ultimate Warrior would be training with none other than (of all people) Rob Van Dam as he prepared for his upcoming return to the ring. Actual video footage from one of these super top secret training sessions below: Well I'll say this... if Warrior can steal Van Dam's moves HALF as well as RVD stole the Ultimate one's vocal stylings, then wrestling fans in Spain are in store for a real treat! RVD is probably as "unorthodox" in his wrestling style as they come (just ask J.R.!), and while it might be a stretch for the Ultimate Warrior to keep pace with the younger, faster and most certainly more athletic RVD's kick-and-aerial-based-offense, there's a lot to be said for "playing to your strengths while hiding your weaknesses" -- and alums of the original ECW, in particular, have always been tremendously gifted in plying that craft. There's an old rumor that RVD once famously bragged to a reporter that he was nothing more than a guy who just does a bunch of flips and then points to himself and then sits back and laughs as the crowd goes wild. Dunno whether or not he actually said that, mind you -- but the underlying principle still holds pretty true regardless: People don't pay to see RVD in contests of technical merit and strings of submissions... they pay to see him flip around and point his thumbs to himself. Swap the word "flip" with "run," and the words "point his thumbs to himself" with "shake the ropes like a madman," and the same goes for Warrior. Nobody's expecting the man to deliver a five star classic (or even a Five Star Frogsplash, for that matter)... all they want is to see the intensity, the high-adrenaline, and the frenzied (if sloppy) in-ring (lack of?) abilities that made the guy a star in the first place. It doesn't have to be pretty -- it just has to be familiar. Just ask Hulk Hogan. Guy's been working the exact same match for 25 years straight.

And With That, I'm Outta' Here

Like I said, it'd be longer if there were more news worth covering (in my estimation, Nick Hogan's legal troubles are *not* wrestling news). Judgment Day is this weekend, for those of y'all not too busy strutting to the music of the Macho Man or cramming to finish that final paper. Enjoy the weekend and the PPV, and always stay positive.

- Meehan

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