The Shimmy 5.26.08: The Sensational Singapore Cane Match Column!

Happy Memorial Day, ladies and germs. I hope your pools are clear, your burgers are going, and your, um, memorials are memorialized. This week, in the grand tradition of the Royal Rumble and Money in the Bank breakdowns I give to you your official Singapore Cane Match preview for this Sunday’s One Night Stand PPV. Five men, all former ECW Champions will whack the beejesus out of one another with Singapore Canes all to earn at shot at ECW Kane at the Night of Champions PPV. Who is the favorite in the match? Let’s take a look!

Big Show

ECW Title Win: ECW (July 5, 2006); Philadelphia, PA

Who He Defeated: Rob Van Dam (Extreme Rules Match)

Chances at the Title Before Win: 1

Other Accomplishments: WWE Title (2), WCW Title (2), United States Title, World Tag Team Title (3), WCW World Tag Team Title (2), Hardcore Title (3)

Analysis: Judging by how last Tuesday’s ECW ended you would have to consider Big Show the favorite here. Really, even if Big Show hadn’t laid a finger on anyone on Tuesday he’d still be the favorite. Of all five men Big Show doesn’t even NEED the Singapore Cane. Aside from that little snafu with Floyd Mayweather Big Show has been dominant since his return to WWE and it’s time for him to make good on his promise to once again hold a World Title. Big Show is also quite familiar with Kane, so should he make it out of One Night Stand as the No. 1 Contender he would probably be the favorite once again in his title match. The only thing Big Show may have to worry about is being quadruple teamed by his four opponents. One man with a Singapore cane probably wouldn’t affect the giant that much, but four men whacking him with the canes might make a dent. Aside from a well coordinated group effort, though, this is Big Show’s match to lose.

John Morrison

ECW Title Win: Vengeance: Night of Champions (June 24, 2007); Houston, TX

Who He Defeated: CM Punk (vacant title)

Chances at the Title Before Win: 1

Other Accomplishments: Intercontinental Title (2), WWE Tag Team Title (4)

Analysis: If Big Show were not in this match I would have said Morrison would be the favorite. After being dominant in the tag team ranks for the past few months, over the last few weeks Morrison has gotten back in the singles groove. He went toe-to-toe with Batista during the Chase to the Championship and then defeated Kane in a non-title match prior to Judgment Day. Morrison hasn’t ever looked better physically and recently he has added a much more physical attack to his fancy aerial offense. This could be Morrison’s chance to step back into championship contention and no doubt surpass his last run as ECW Champion. I think many people considered Morrison’s championship reign a fluke but Morrison has the opportunity to prove all those doubters wrong. Morrison also benefits from this match being no disqualification because that means that The Miz, or maybe even Mike Adamle, could interfere on the Shaman of Sexy’s behalf. There may be some question as to how skilled Morrison is with a Singapore cane but I have it on good authority that he has been practicing his caning abilities at the Palace of Wisdom all week.

CM Punk

ECW Title Win: ECW (September 4, 2007); Cincinnati, OH

Who He Defeated: John Morrison (Last Chance Match)

Chances at the Title Before Win: 5

December to Dismember (12/3/06): Extreme Elimination Chamber Match: Big Show© vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Test vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly vs. CM Punk

Vengeance: Night of Champions (6/24/07): Vacant Title: CM Punk vs. John Morrison

Great American Bash (7/22/07): John Morrison© vs. CM Punk

SummerSlam (8/26/07): John Morrison© vs. CM Punk

Other Accomplishments: 2008 Mr. Money in the Bank, ROH Title, ROH World Tag Team Titles (2), OVW Title, OVW Tag Team Title, OVW Television Title, IWA-MS Title (5), IWA-MS Light Heavyweight Title (2)

Analysis: Aside from Big Show, CM Punk is the biggest superstar in this match (in terms of popularity, not in size). Punk has more or less been the face of ECW ever since Bobby Lashley left the brand and he spent the majority of the past year challenging for or defending the ECW Title. He is familiar with the Extreme Rules nature of ECW, having competed the Extreme Elimination Chamber Match at December to Dismember and in a Tables Match at last year’s One Night Stand. His MMA style strikes and kicks might also fit in well with the stiff Singapore cane shots and his quickness may help him avoid being hit too frequently. Perhaps the key thing for Punk in this match is that there is no pressure on him. While Punk has been very good in No. 1 Contender’s Matches (he’s won six of them counting Money in the Bank) he has only come up victorious once. This time, though, he doesn’t have to win considering his Money in the Bank opportunity. Punk could just as easily not compete in this match and stick to his guaranteed title shot instead. Still, Punk’s success rate at No. 1 Contender’s Matches may allow him to pile two title shots on top of one another at Night of Champions if he so chooses.

Chavo Guerrero

ECW Title Win: ECW (January 22, 2008); Charlottesville, VA

Who He Defeated: CM Punk (No DQ Match)

Chances at the Title Before Win: 1

Other Accomplishments: WWE Tag Team Title (2), WCW World Tag Team Title, Cruiserweight Title (6)

Analysis: Well, a night of Extreme Rules Matches fits well with the Guerrero’s Lie, Cheat, and Steal mentality. Chavo won the ECW Title in a No DQ Match, largely thanks to outside interference. This go around he at least has Bam Neely watching his back, and maybe Curt Hawkins & Zach Ryder as well. With four other competitors in the match things could get very chaotic, allowing Chavo to sneak in a win as well. There are certainly situations that could play out allowing Chavo to pull of the victory, the question is just whether or not he can capitalize. Even if he has backup in the match they will have to immobilize four men, not just one. Chavo is also the smallest man in this match, making him a target for a guy like Big Show. If Chavo wants to win this match he is going to have to wrestle smart instead of hard.

Tommy Dreamer

ECW Title Win: CyberSlam (April 22, 2000); Philadelphia, PA

Who He Defeated: Tazz

Chances at the Title Before Win: 3

Ultimate Jeopardy (10/5/96): Stevie Richards & Brian Lee (defending Raven’s ECW Title) vs. Tommy Dreamer & The Sandman

Hostile City Showdown (3/15/97): Three-Way Dance: Raven© vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Stevie Richards

NOTE: I thought there were more too. I looked through Online World of Wrestling’s archives and this is what I found. If there are more please feel free to share.

Other Accomplishments: ECW World Tag Team Titles (3), Hardcore Title (13), IWA-Puerto Rico Hardcore Title

Analysis: A lot of people might look at Tommy Dreamer’s involvement in this match and think the former Innovator of Violence doesn’t stand a chance. However, this kind of environment might be just what Dreamer needs to get back to championship form. Of all five men Dreamer is the most accustomed to using, and being hit with, a Singapore cane. Dreamer has always been accused of having a big heart and it’s possible that his new protégé Colin Delaney may have inspired him to push on even further than he would have previously. No level of punishment or number of losses will deter Tommy Dreamer’s quest to become a real life Rocky Balboa. While chances are Dreamer will not leave One Night Stand with the ECW Title shot, if you count out the “Heart and Soul of ECW” you do so at your own peril.

PPV in Review: Judgment Day

So we started off with John Cena vs. JBL. Aside from the ridiculousness of Cena opening the damn PPV I was pleasantly surprised with this match. I wasn’t expecting the kind of match we got at all, but it ended up working out. That was probably the most actual wrestling I’ve seen from JBL since his return. Thank God they actually let Cena win here, but he’s still be booked like shit (see the next night on Raw).

The WWE Tag Team Title Match was a nice little match too. CM Punk looked good in there and Miz & Morrison continued their awesome streak. I’m pleased to see that they let the tag champs retain and I look forward to seeing where both Miz and Morrison go after this match.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho was a very good match. Michaels is always great and Jericho continues to deliver. I still don’t believe how great Jericho has been since his return. I was happy to see Michaels get some heel heat during the match because I really don’t see how he’s the face in all of this. It was also a nice touch for Jericho to not lose to Sweet Chin Music like I thought he would. Hopefully these two mix it up again sometime this summer.

The Women’s Title Match was a lot of fun. What I’m presuming is Melina’s face turn is coming along nicely. I could have stood to see this match last a bit longer then it was, but this was a solid four minutes of action.

Undertaker and Edge continue to deliver in their matches. While this match wasn’t as great as their WrestleMania or Backlash matches it was still very good. I actually liked that they didn’t go with a new champion here because it made this storyline a bit more bearable. Vickie Guerrero’s heel heat was off the charts, and while I personally don’t like having her on my TV, I understand why WWE would want to keep her around.

It was great to see Jeff Hardy back on PPV and even better to see him get a win. That being said his match with MVP wasn’t pretty. These two men are capable of much better and I hope one day they get the opportunity to show that. Jeff Hardy has managed to still remain super over even while serving out his 60 day suspension and if WWE is smart they continue to let Hardy move up the card. He doesn’t need to win the WWE Title right away, but I’d definitely have that in the cards at some point.

The main event was a bit lackluster. A lot of people have applied the term “old school” to the match to try and make the fact it was boring sound better. I don’t mind that there was no blood, with One Night Stand two weeks away I wasn’t really surprised. I was just hoping for something…more. The match was an acceptable main event but it was hardly anything to write home about.

Andy Enjoyment Index: Judgment Day

1) Michaels-Jericho
2) Undertaker-Edge
3) Cena-JBL
4) Mickie-Phoenix-Melina
5) Miz & Morrison-Kane & Punk
6) Triple H-Orton
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7) Hardy-MVP

The Shimmy Likes It Raw!

What’s on tap for tonight’s show?

The Memorial Day edition of Raw is typically a good one, but with one week to go before the PPV is there anything left in the tank? Nothing has been announced as of this writing so we’ll have to just wait and see.

That does it for this week, everybody. Until then, don’t die. Clark…out.