Truth B Told 5.29.08: Mic Check

Posted by Bayani Domingo on 05.29.2008

You can work on your moveset, your ring work, your psychology, and your physique, but why has wrestling gotten away from the most basic thing you can do between headlocks, chinlocks, and triple reverse 630 Shooting Star Phoenix Splash DDT’s: Talk.

So I got this single friend, see. Okay, I've got a TON of single friends…mostly wrestling fans. Coincidence? Probably not. But this one in particular is around my age, he's looking to find a girl to settle down with, someone attractive, intelligent, and has a good personality and heart. Problem is that we live in LA. You ain't gettin' both. Your choices are the chick with the fake tits, no-carb diet, AA in "Liberal Arts" from the local JC, and the line that "I'm not religious…but I'm spiritual" or a good sense of humor, intelligence, a front butt, and the line that "guys are so shallow, all they want is big fake tits and a highlights". Guess which one most guys would take? Just like in wrestling, the dating world is filled with "compromises" and "settling". It's rare to find someone that looks the part and talks the part. Although now it seems like wrestling has become more "shallow" than ever. Then again…JBL's tits truly are breathtaking aren't they?

You probably heard by now that Lance Storm is going to be taking a "Veteran Role" in RoH soon. The idea is that he'll be working with some of the talent to help put together matches and work on their in ring psychology and pacing. This will be similar to what Joey Matthews is supposed to be helping out with and I couldn't be happier that RoH recognizes that some of their matches could be made even better by teaching their guys more about the psychology of a match instead of relying on spot heavy matches and frantic breakneck pacing to get over. With any luck the "RoH Haters" who cite their flippity flop, spot monkey-ish shows as the reason they aren't viable compared to a WWE will soon be eating their words as the workers learn that sometimes, every once in a while less truly is more and you don't have to risk your life every match to put on a good show. This is definitely a keen business move on the side of RoH.

While I fully applaud this first step into the evolution of RoH I kind of wonder why they aren't taking this a step further and bringing in someone to help with the other glaring flaw in RoH's roster: there are very few guys on the roster who are any good on the stick. That's not to say RoH doesn't have a good handful of wrestlers who can not only put together a decent promo, but can also work a crowd during their match. I look at Jimmy Jacobs as one of the better talkers in RoH, Bryan Danielson has really come a long way since he began, Chris Hero's heel work is by far better than his face promos, Kevin Steen and Adam Pearce are both very underrated, and then you have…um…I dunno…Delirious? I know that the set-up of an RoH show is very different than an episode of RAW of Impact, but I think that even on those PPV shows that RoH should look to start getting their wrestlers more involved in promos in order to help develop their characters more. Then again, it's not like underdeveloped mic skills are only an "Indy thing".

The latest rumor in the "e" is that the company is considering putting together a stable of second generation stars as "heels". The rumored names are Ted DiBiase, Jr, Cody Rhodes, Afa Jr, and D.H. Smith. The real interesting thing here is that they want a "veteran" to use as a "Mouthpiece". What that tells me is that #1 they don't trust any of these guys on their own to be able to be the vocal leader of the group and #2 that they think they need a bigger name to get themselves over like the way WCW had Kevin Nash "Coach" the "Natural Born Thrillers" until they were ready to go off on their own as "Above Average" Mike Sanders took over the helm of leadership. The biggest named rumored to be said "Mouthpiece" is Carlito, although Randy Orton and Chavo Guerrero would also fit the bill. That being said, I'm not even that big of a fan of Carlito's work. I think his character and gimmick has gotten stale and while his mic skills are passable it seems that just as his ring work hasn't improved much over the few years he's been brought up, neither has speaking ability. The biggest issue here is why doesn't the "e" have a "talker" amongst that group of 4 guys?

When I look at the "Next Generation" of WWE superstars I consider most guys who have been with the company for 6 or less years in that group. Now out of that group who really has come into their own as really good mic workers? I would have to say that the five guys who really stick out in my mind as being fairly universally praised are: John Cena, Ken Kennedy, Santino, John Morrison, Elijah Burke, and MVP. Cena has always had good mic skills and started really getting noticed when he was a "heel". Although I personally am not as blown away as other people are by Mr. Kennedy, it is clear that he has a following as well. Santino went from a "bland babyface" with a decent look and generic moveset to a barely passable wrestler who is a wildly over "comedy heel" thanks in part to his great comedic timing and seemingly limited potential in the ring. Really, he's a step away from being an "on air talent" who occasionally wrestles, but the man is entertaining as hell with a microphone in his hand. The transition from Nitro to Morrison gave the "Shamen of Sexy" license to really create a new character that he's done a great job of crafting over the past year. It has also been proven that when Burke and MVP have gotten the time they are both capable of emoting fairly easily to the audience and being able to help get themselves and their characters over quite well on the mic.

Other guys who are "passable" or flash moments of "goodness" are Batista, Randy Orton, Carlito, and occasionally Cryme Tyme. The problem is that Cryme Tyme are naturals on the mic, but the material they get to work with is fairly corny. I know some people love the guys, but it's just getting kind of predictable and pathetic for me. But, they sure do love them in the "sticks". Carlito, Big Dave, and Orton are all capable in very short spurts. Give those guys more than maybe 60 seconds of mic time and you start to see the shortcomings, but in short spurts all of them are decent. Not great, but decent. I think there in lies the problem because it is pretty clear that the best "promo guys" in the "e" are all veterans like HHH, HBK, Edge, Regal, and of course the newly retired Ric Flair. It seems to me that the "e" just isn't pressing the art of the promo as much as they used to. Not to say that they haven't been trying to some small degree, but with varying success.

The "Highlight Reel" and the "Cutting Edge" are examples of in-show talk segments aimed at giving "heels" a platform to get themselves over. It's rare to see a "face" get a "talk show" anymore. They tried to give Chris Masters his own segment with the "Masterlock Challenge" but it actually exposed his inability to captivate an audience verbally even worse tan before. Carlito's Cabana became fairly dull as it was pretty much a predictable joke with the same punch line every week of someone getting apple spit into their face at the end. The "VIP Lounge" has been largely hit or miss. As part of the building Hardy/MVP feud it was very well done and helped really add to the feud as well as get both men some much needed "face time", other than that its been just kind of…there. Still, it shows the WWE has some faith in MVP as a wrestler or at least a "character"…even though his booking hasn't really backed that up. I think more and more it's been Jericho and Edge's "shows" that have served their purpose better as becoming platforms for important feuds and a logical way of getting two wrestlers to face off on the mic without constantly having those "backstage run-ins". Just look at the build for the HBK/Batista match as an example of how the "Highlight Reel" was expertly used.

I purposely have left CM Punk out of the conversation because the "e" has basically taken a guy who has built up his own reputation on the mic through his time in RoH and IWA:MS and reduced him to a few uninteresting quips every week or two. It's clear to most CM Punk fans that his mic work in the "e" has been sorely disappointed and if anyone could benefit from a "talk show" it would be Punk. I look at the way that Christian blossomed in his last year with the WWE as an example since "The Peep Show" gave him a much broader audience to really explore his new "heel" persona. Man, what I wouldn't give to get E&C back together…now THOSE were two guys who could really entertain. Even now Christian is one of the best promo guys in TNA. Actually when you look at TNA, despite their relatively small roster compared to the "e" they have just as many good veterans on the mic as the "e" does (Christian, Bubba Ray, Booker T, Sting, Nash, Steiner, Christopher Daniels, and James Storm) although I would dare say that the top guys in the "e" are better than the top guys in the "T". While some may argue that some of the young guys aren't as good on the mic as their cohorts in the WWE there are still a few bright spots.

Arguably Samoa Joe is one of the better promo guys amongst the younger wrestlers. Alex Shelley has been a rising star and his work with Kevin Nash as "Paparazzi Productions" and carrying the MCMG's on the mic has been evident of that. Eric Young, Black Machismo, and Sonjay Dutt are managing to be entertaining (sometimes) and stand out amongst the X-Division guys by utilizing some fairly off the wall gimmicks. AJ Styles and Tomko found their own voices after turning heel and while Tomko is giving a much more serious role in the company, some would argue that AJ lost a bit of credibility but gained a lot more personality by becoming the comedy sidekick. Then you have tag teams like LAX and the Rock ‘n Rave Infection that are getting mic time, but still trying to polish up their deliveries. That's mainly why you had guys like Konnan or Christy Hemme attached to the groups as "mouthpieces". Yeah, I think Christy knows a thing or two when it come to pieces…and mouths. Oh yeah, I went there. It's gotten to the point where the X-Division guys who were largely considered "generic flippity flop guys" have all found a unique way of trying to develop their own off the wall gimmicks. Sharkboy and Curry Man for instance.

Then again I think maybe TNA went a bit TOO overboard in trying to make every wrestler stand out by making some gimmicks just too damn goofy, but I think in time they may just learn how to balance it a bit better. Or else they'll run out of gimmicks to rehash. Wait, what am I saying, this is Vince Russo we're talking about here. Still it does seem like TNA has tried to give more of their wrestler a "voice" or at least utilize some of their best "on air talent" to get other guys over (i.e. Nash, Konnan, Cornette, Christian, etc.). It's good to see the WWE begin to think about following suit, although at some point you have to wonder why they need to considering how long they leave their guys off the main roster and in development if they aren't spending a little time learning to talk. What the hell ARE those guys doing in OVW/FCW for 2 or 3 years if they aren't learning to cut a damn promo? Maybe that's why you never hardly saw those segments when "Tough Enough" was on TV.

The basis for a big part of my "Fandom" is the "Attitude Era", with wrestlers like The Rock, Stone Cold, HHH/HBK, and Mankind really making the biggest impression on me. I was never a big Undertaker or Kane fan because I couldn't really relate to them. Even now my favorite wrestler of all-time is probably The Rock because to me he was the most entertaining wrestler during that time. it wasn't the fact that he was a great ring technician or was a huge physical specimen, the man could just entertain me on the mic to no end. In fact I think a lot of what John Cena and Ken Kennedy try to do on the mic is a direct reflection on his influence. When you look at the biggest names that have ever graced the WWE they all had one very important thing in common; mic work. When you think about the wrestling ability of a Ric Flair and Ricky Steamboat there wasn't a big difference, however Flair could get a crowd to eat out of the palm of his hand in a way Steamboat never could.

The reason why Rocky, Austin, and Foley stayed so popular long after they were bringing the goods in the ring was because they could still give a riveting or entertaining promo long after they became "on-air talent" rather than actual full-time wrestlers. I really believe that the ability to work a good promo can extend the life of a wrestler immensely. I just wish there was a way to work with some of the younger guys in the industry and coach them how to become more natural on the microphone or at least find a good personality or character that would allow them to reach their full charismatic potential. While I'm a big fan of how Morrison, MVP, and Burke were able to fine tune their own gimmicks to get the most out of their verbal skills, I just wrestlers who can talk are not trained well enough to match that level of ring performance (Santino/Striker) and the guys who are phenomenal athletes aren't coached enough to take advantage of their ability by stepping up their mic skills (Shelton/Lashley/London/Kendrick).

For as many cuts to the backstage area as TNA has and goofy vignettes involving Eric Young and Sharky, they could use that time more constructively if they didn't give 10 wrestlers 30 seconds each, but rather focused on 2 or 3 good long segments where wrestlers could use the time to create a better storyline for their feuds. Camera time doesn't always equate to being "over", just as mic time doesn't always equate to "charisma". I look at a Chris Benoit, Austin Aries, Delirious, Tomko, or Briscoe Brothers who were/are very limited in terms of promo ability they are all able to emote a great deal of their personalities in the ring just by sheer intensity during their matches. Maybe in that case you don't give them ‘face time'. Then you have guys like El Generico who are almost completely mute, yet he is one of the most charismatic guys in the Indies due to having such great body language and expressive facial features…even under a mask. Any "limitation" can be overcome with enough practice and ingenuity.

What this really comes down to is my general apathy towards a lot of the wrestlers I see debuting now as it seems like 2 or 3 years down in "developmental" or touring the Indy scenes before getting a break in RoH or TNA amounts to working on a lot of spots, but not taking the time to develop a character entertaining and intriguing enough to make most fans care. I think that's why I am a disappointed that guys like Shelton Benjamin or Kofi Kinston get pushed while Elijah Burke hardly gets a win anymore. I see CM Punk on TV, but I just don't see the same charismatic figure he was in RoH (which really says something about how Gabe and Co. were able to make him into such a captivated character during his time there). While guys like Santino really do a great job entertaining, if they really spent some time getting him to do some crunches and working on hip tosses he might be able to climb his way up to the upper mid-card one day instead of jobbing to Jerry Lawler and Rodney the Piper. Hell, JBL got over as a credible main event heel on mic skills alone. Then again he also rocks the swank cowboy hat, jacket, and black undies combo that the chicks go wild for.

This really all has to start in the RoH, PWG, and FCW's of the world as the sooner that a wrestler learns that flashy moves and a six-pack aren't the only ways to stardom, the better. I think that's why I gravitate more towards being fans of Larry Sweeney, Human Tornado, Kurt Angle, Christopher Daniels, John Morrison, and of course The Rock, because I really need to give a damn about a performer. In order for me to do that I need to understand what kind of a character they portray in the ring and what better way to do that than to not just show me, but to hear it from their own lips. While I know that a lot of people have gotten down on shows for featuring too much talk and not enough wrestling, I for one wouldn't mind that ratio so much if what they had to say actually made a difference. I could do with out authority figures, Diva contests, and extended beatdowns, but I just need to know that at least half the guys in the ring that night can string together more than 3 words. I just hope when Lance Storm makes his trip down to RoH he brings Christian with him. Wait…is THAT how he rolls?

The Truth

I'm really glad that Ring of Honor is starting to really pay attention to some of the criticism they have been getting from outside sources and they are using it constructively. When you can get a Danielson, a Storm, or a Joey Matthews in to help guys put on better matches and pacing then you end up with a better overall product and the big "springs" and "spotfests" start standing out more as the crowd becomes less desensitized to them. I really hope the next step is to work with their guys on really putting together some good promos and becoming more well rounded "performers". For as much as people say they are all just "vanilla" and "generic" you have guys like Danielson, Jacobs, Pearce, and Sweeney who do a great job of developing their characters and standing out. But this is all a slow progression into become a more viable product for mass consumption without losing that spark that makes you special as a company.

While I couldn't understand why the "e" stopped trying to develop their young guys in terms of character development and speaking ability, that whole rumor about "creative" being resistant to pushing new stars might be a factor. It's not enough to just push one dimensional character as either "monsters" or "comedy jobbers" you need to figure out within the first few years who has enough talent on all front to really become a star. I mean, I just can't imagine why you'd waste so much time building up Chavo as a viable heel with all that mic time when CM Punk is just sitting (almost mutely) in your lap waiting to become a truly cemented star. If you're going to have a "developmental system" then why not spend a few hours a week developing something that might make a guy stand out other than his ring gear. Although I think it will eventually happen when your HBK's, ‘Takers, Kane's, and Finlay's retire, I don't think the "e" needs to wait for that to start developing that next line of great main event guys. Hell, if they would just open their ears I think they would find they probably have them on the rosters right now.

Coming Up Short

I'm actually getting a little excited after seeing some of the teams proposed for TNA's World X-Cup. First off Team TNA looks good as the MCMG's, Machismo, and Dutt would all be in my first 6 picks of being on the team since it looks like AJ and Christopher Daniels are off the table. Team Mexico I'm not that familiar with but I have seen all of those guys except for Volador Jr. at least once, still it's good representation and some recognizable names for lucha fans. Team Japan looks great and outside of Ishikari, who I'm not familiar with, I'm looking forward to seeing what all those guys can do with some of the TNA and Mexican guys. The real puzzler here is "Team International", especially since I guess they decided against "Team Canada" and they couldn't put together a "Team UK". This is pretty nitpicky and all, but I just don't get the concept here other than, "Hey, we can't find 4 guys from one country to put this together since Petey Williams is hurt and we can't just reform the old ‘Team Canada' for storyline purposes".

I actually applaud TNA for not putting the band back together as it would make no sense to have 3 of those guys who don't get along stuck in a team for a month. The problem is that "Team International" seems like "Team Retread" because it's without rhyme or reason. I think the better call here is to create a "Team Europe" instead. I mean they are really only two guys away from making that a reality if they are in fact looking at Doug Williams and Alex Koslov as participants. If they replace the Canadian Tyson Dux and the "Middle Eastern" Shawn Daivari then they only need two other wrestlers. Since they already have Doi/Yoshino from Dragon Gate, why not borrow their resident Gaijin and have PAC fill in as another participants. Then they have a choice between Johnny Storm, Jody Fleisch, Spud, Nigel McGuinness, and any number of German or other English wrestlers. Worse comes to worse I hear a certain Scot might be looking for a job sooner than later. I'M UNEMPLOYED!! Calm down Robbie. Either way I hope that TNA figures out something soon because I feel like just putting a mixed up bag of wrestlers under the banner of "International" might just be coming up short of what they could really do given more time and resources.

6 Degrees of…



Mathew Sforcina

Hmmm.

This is a tough one, with lots of ideas in my head.

For the wrestler, I'm gonna have to go with one of my favs of all time, a vastly underrated guy who I'm hoping and praying gets into the Legends game, since I want to do The Brainbusters V Money Inc. dammit! The wrestler is Tully Blanchard.

As for the other pop culture reference selection, I'll keep it to someone who actually exists rather than say a fictional character (sorry Cortana). And someone who is very hot right now is Kayne West. So from underrated greatness to justified. I'm sure that makes sense. Somehow.



You know, in Australia that link would actually make sense somehow. Then again…they eat Vegemite…and come from a land where women glow and men plunder. Yeah…no clue.

Whatchu talkin' bout readers?

I'm caving a bit. I guess the rest of my cohorts are resorting to responding to the comments in the "Comments Section" so I'll give it a try. I'll limit it to 3 or less comments each week however unless I get real e-mails so here we go:

I don't get the Kofi Kingston reference. Past drug issues? If so, when? If
not, what then?

Posted By: Miss Ingsomthing

The reference was basically that Regal might end up getting punished pretty harshly and end up on the "C" show. As far as I know Kofi hasn't been busted for any wellness violations. Then again…the guy's gimmick is that he's Jamaican…and you know what that means…Mon.

O.K. before we all go cupping Vince's balls for sticking to his guns on the wellness policy let's see what happens when a big star like Randy Orton or Jeff Hardy finally hits that dreaded third strike. Let's watch him put his mioney where his mouth is then.

Posted By: Dennis

Um…I'm not sure about the ball cuppage, but I'm pretty sure that the 3rd strike is going to be getting fired. I'm not 100% on it and I doubt the first guy to hit that will end up being Orton, but I think Hardy will probably be the winner of that sweepstake and I can't imagine even VINCE is stupid enough to not take some action. He's running a publicly traded company after all, he's not God. Or is he? No…he isn't. God no-showed his match with Vince.

bayani, no one cares about your opinions... we just want to see the random biatch pics!

Posted By: tito

See? This is why I never invite my uncle to PWG shows.

6 Degrees Results

#2

So I usually ignore the "comments" section all together but I guess this is the week I start giving them a slight nod. So here is an entry from Glen R.

Easy six degrees:

1) Senior General Than Shwe has imprisoned activist Daw Aung San Suu Kyi

2) The U2 Song "Walk On" is about Suu Kyi and her struggles

3) The U2 Song "Beautiful Day" was used to promote Triple H's return
from injury in 2002.

4) Triple H (along with Shawn Michaels) unsuccessfully tried to win the WWE Tag
Team Titles from Edge (and Randy Orton) at New Year's Resolution 2007.

5) Edge (along with Hollywood Hogan) lost the WWE Tag Team Titles to Christian
and Lance Storm at Vengeance 2002.

6) Lance Storm lost the WCW US Title to General Rection in 2001.

#1.

Hey Bayani,

Point of clarification, when I was referencing Ron Hutchinson I was specifically writing in the present tense. Yes there is no question the best trainer you could have ever had if you were Canadian (or even if you weren't) was Stu Hart. But as he has sadly passed
away and the Dungeon is no more...you get the idea. Anyway, I'd definitely put the "Pretty Boy" up there in terms of trainers as he has four major World Champions as graduated students, Edge, Christian, Trish Stratus and Gail Kim. Nitpicky, I know, but meh what're ya gonna do right?

1) Senior General Than Shwe is the current leader of the nation of Myanmar, the country formerly known as Burma, which was the location and main conflict point in the newest Sylvester Stallone "Rambo" franchise movie, by now available on Blu-Ray and DVD.
2) Stallone has faced some major wrestling-related figures in his other major film franchise, "Rocky", including Mr. T and Hulk Hogan...but I'm not using either of them! Better than them both was his colossal battle with Doplh "Ivan Drago" Lundgren in "Rocky IV"
3) Years after he had the chance to break you...I mean him, Lundgren took on another role that had him killing people...that of The Punisher in Marvel's first attempt at their comic character based movie in 1989.
4) Marvel would make another go of The Punisher on the big screen in 2004. This time around ol' Frank Castle wasn't played by a guy who played a big angry Russian..he had to fight for his life against one! This time The Russian was played by big Kevin Nash.
5) Nash was the man who, through typical Russo-rific shenanigans, ended the years-spanning undefeated streak of WCW Champion Bill Goldberg.
6) Goldberg began that streak by destroying a man of many names but who always managed to remain Hugh Morris. Until he got to Tough Enough and killed people
who sucked in the ring.

Tenchi Masaki

Another win for Tenchi as all three "judges" picked his over the mysterious "Glen R." Looks like we have another dynasty on our hands.

Left Overs…

I hear some kid from the "Make-A-Wish Foundation" was at the TNA Impact tapings. Apparently wishes DON'T come true.

Ted DiBiase debuted after Ted DiBiase introduced him. That's confusing. He then introduced himself as "Priceless". I could really get behind some vignettes using that catchphrase.
Shiny new wrestling boots: $200
Elbow and Knee Pads: $120
Ring Jacket: $227
Being on the same show as JBL as a rookie: Soapy rectum

Not having to tag team with IRS Jr.: Priceless

Sting getting a Flair-esque good-bye from TNA? At some point you have to be worried about Samoa Joe mouthing "I love you" to Sting before choking him out and laying sweaty over his prone body. But enough about the retirement party.

How the hell did the conversation between Nick and Hulk get out?

Mickie and Cena sitting in a tree? Isn't Mickie a lesbo? Did we just…gloss over that whole thing with Trish Stratus? I think it's obvious that Mickie James swings the other way, I mean even in

WWE doesn't want to push newcomers?

Okay, I just thought this was funny when I read this in the latest RoH Newswire: May 27th: Explosive tag team action is coming to Philadelphia on June 7th. Just signed is Kevin Steen & El Generico vs. Ruckus & Jigsaw with Julius Smokes!!!

You gotta love RoH. To put not 1…not 2…but 3 exclamation points after announcing a Ruckus and Jigsaw match is just priceless. The way those guys are booked they don't even deserve a semi-colon and an ampersand.

For those who want to know what the XPW Show Results were then there goes your link. Also reports from the show say that the crowd was largely drunk, smelly, and too stoned out of their minds to even know what was going on. At least that's what I hear from our backstage reporters.

Rumors of Warrior Warrior in TNA are running wild. People are talkin' about a possible "Blade Runners" reunion, but I think the bigger money is in a feud that is a long time in the making: Warrior vs Billy Gunn's ring gear.

The Great Booty Debate 2008

I guess there seems to be a real ground swell of support for the Latinas on 411. Well maybe it's not so much the ground that is "swelling". Either way let's see if we can't get the Asian chicks back in the game otherwise this is looking like a serious ‘squash'. This week we take a look at Jazmin Velazquez and Kim Loan.

Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



If I got a loan like that I'd never pay it back.

Random Latina Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



Anymore Z's in her name and I'd swear she was narcoleptic.

You know how when RoH does their "press releases" they always show some quote from someone at PWTorch or PWI giving some kind of a quote how it's a 9/10 or ****88/95 PPV? I'd love for them to instead feature reviews by our own "commentors". Here's what cenarulzwordlife88 had to say about "Take no Prisoners": FTW?!?! Flippity flop Indy guyz sux, who are the Briskos and why is an Irish stout champion LULZ John Cena would FU all of their indy asses to hell…WORD LYFE!!

Boogeyman may be returning soon, probably to ECW as was the plans by Michael Hayes before that little "incident". Hayes was quoted as saying that he plans to put all the "Monsters and spooks" on ECW. Too soon?

You can now bid on Joey Mercury's swank MNM jacket on eBay. I believe he's using the profits to buy Marty Jannetty's old career. I think he's like $50 short too.

Brooke Hogan was recently involved in a serious car crash. Photos can be seen HERE.

Pimpin' In High Places

Was it a light week for wrestling or a light week for wrestling columns? It seems like everyone was on vacation this week…as opposed to us just being lazy:

Ask 411 is filled with FAQ's this week. As opposed to ‘facts'. Wait…wrestling…'facts'…nah…that ain't gonna fly.

Csonka takes on more of the Monday Night Wars. I stopped paying attention after they moved "Coach" to Weds. Whatever happened to Craig T Nelson?

Threat x 3 gets into Regal's suspension and whether or not "a smug sense of satisfaction" really should be on the WWE's banned list.

CoH is all a twitter with the possibilities of even more PPV's dancing through Ari's head like Bobby Dempsey on Dance Dance Revolution…Ultramix…3!! Yeah…it's like watching Twinkie the Kid suffer a seizure.

J-Weezy is still totally losing me with the format. On top of that I am instructing my lawyers to draft up a cease and desist immediately on the use of random hot chicks in his column. The least he can do is actually TOUCH a boob before he starts plastering pictures of them all over his column.


D-Dubya is a dirty, filthy liar who has faked his own "retirement" more times than Terry Funk. Only without the badass ICP anecdote. Nope, Shaggy 2 Dope would want nothing to do with you sir. Nothing.

It seemed like a very short week this week. Okay, it didn't, but it was in fact a short week for those of us who had Monday off. I've spent a full week away from wrestling and by the grace of *insert your holy deity here* I will stay away for at least another week. then again I'm hearing that I should attend a small charity show down in Santa Ana on Sunday. I dunno, to me making a 60

Till then, the Truth will set you free.

-B