The MeeThinks-Friday-Freethinks 6.06.08

Posted by Dustin James on 06.06.2008

Today, the part of John Meehan will be played by Dustin James...



Welcome to the MeeThinks-Friday-Freethinks. It's pretty obvious that I'm not Meehan. That's right, it's your least favorite substitute in the wrestling zone, Dustin James! You know, Dustin James of 411's MMA rankings! First I would like to apologize for the length of this column. I took this VERY short notice as Meehan's power went out. You know how much loyalty Meehan has for 411? Once he realized the power was out in his entire county, Meehan hitchhiked from Washington DC to Baltimore, Maryland where he ended up getting jumped by 13 ninjas and a baby. After beating the baby senseless and running from the ninjas, Meehan was then captured by the police and thrown in jail where he is forced to share a cell with some bitch ass whiny kid from a reality show that will go unnamed. Well, with his one phone call that he was allowed, Meehan called me and asked me to write this column for him. So I'm here, have no fear, grab a beer, shoot a deer, & don't shed no tear.......here we go!

*Before we get started, the following column has been brought to you by The Truth. The Truth has the following message for all wrestling fans:

---

John Cena and Mickie James are dating in real-life. It was Vince McMahon's idea to use their romance and spin it into a WWE storyline.
Everybody get in the car, we are following Csonka to Cena's house! Umm Larry. What's the gun for?

In news that NOBODY WANTED TO HEAR. It has been announced that John Cena and Mickie James are dating in real-life. There is some good news and some bad news in this whole situation. The good news? The good news is that Mickie James has traded up in the relationship department. A few years ago she was dating a male cheerleader who changed his name to a resemble a MLB legend. Now? Now she's dating the former WWE CHAMP! Not just a former WWE champ! But THE CHAMP! Oh, and he raps too. What honest American girl doesn't want a romantic guy who can rap to her while holding hands in the sunset?

In related news, I hate John Cena now.

---

Stephanie McMahon-Levesque has not been going on the road for television tapings for several weeks now due to her pregnancy. It is widely assumed that she will be taking a lengthy maternity leave once she delivers her second child. It was made clear during her last maternity leave that she would not be involved in the creative process, and she had little, if any, communication with the creative team while she was away.
And the world becomes a better place when Stephanie stays inside.

This is fantastic news! Listen, I don't have anything against Stephanie. She's pretty, she's smart, and she's a friggin McMahon. BUT, I do have a tiny problem with her. And it all boils down to her creative side. It just seems that whenever you see a bad idea on WWE TV, Stephanie's name is thrown around pretty quickly as the person in charge of said bad idea. I have always been a fan of giving the books to Michael Hayes and Dusty Rhodes. These two guys have a tremendous knowledge of the business and they worked extremely well together when they booked Smackdown. I say Stephanie just stays at home and gives her kids the attention they need. The WWE doesn't need your attention Stephanie. It can and will survive without you. Stay home and be a parent!

---

The Big Show has been diagnosed with a fracture of the sinus cavity and possibly his orbital bone. Big Show will see a specialist tomorrow in Los Angeles for further examination. This obviously may impact whether he can wrestle at the Night of Champions PPV against Kane.
The Big Show has a boo-boo!

This news is not-so-good news for the Big Show. He has been on a little roll since returning to the WWE and he can't afford to have an injury hamper his momentum right now. He is in fantastic shape and an injury and some time off could change that. Really quickly I would like to give out a big "UGGHHHHH" to Kane vs. Big Show. What is this? 2000? 2001? Haven't these guy's already had like 10 feuds with each other already? Once again, UGGGGHHHHH.

---

WWE is behind Ric Flair not attending his NWA Hall of Fame induction at the 6/7 NWA show in Atlanta, GA. Some say Flair was pulled because of reports getting out about how much he would make from the appearance, while others say he was pulled because the NWA planned to film the ceremony and WWE feared they might use it on a future DVD release. All of Ric Flair's appearances have to be approved by WWE.
Hey Ric, watch where you are stylin and profilin!

UGGGGGGGHH!!! This is retarded on so many levels. Honestly WWE, even if the NWA did film it and release it on DVD, do you honestly think it's going to take THAT much money out of your pockets? I realize that every wrestling DVD purchased that's not WWE is money out of their pocket......but c'mon. Ric Flair IS the NWA. How about you contact the NWA and either agree that they don't tape Flair, or they don't release Flair's appearance on DVD? Ric Flair not appearing in person to accept his NWA Hall of Fame induction is just wrong. Like I mentioned before, for so many years Ric Flair WAS the NWA. Out of respect for Flair's career, the WWE should let this one fly.

---

For West Coast RAW viewers, since RAW airs three hours later there than it does on the East Coast, to participate in the Million Dollar Giveaway, you will need to login to WWE.com, register for the promotion, and get the code from there.
Wanna win money courtesy of Uncle Vinny poo?

Not much to say about this. I just wanted my fellow west coaster RAW viewers to know what they can do to win the million dollars. Why? Because a million dollars is a lot of money! Hell, you could probably fill your gas tank up at least twice with that.

Oh, and why the picture of TL Hopper, the wrestling plumber? Because no column on 411mania is complete without a picture of good ol Toilet Lid Hopper!

---

Randy Orton broke his collarbone during his match with Triple H at One Night Stand and will miss up to 3 months.
Could this mean the return of RNN?

To most people, an injury is HORRIBLE news. However, they aren't Randy Orton! Remember back in 2002 just a little bit after "babyface" Randy Orton made his debut he suffered a shoulder injury which forced him to sit on the sidelines for a few months? Well, that was the greatest thing that ever happened to Mr. Orton. You see, while he was out the WWE taped video segments of Orton talking about how his injury was healing and he was going to be "better than ever". It was around this time that Orton started displaying those awesome heel skills that we still see to this day. When Orton came back from that injury he joined Evolution and the rest is history. See, some people aren't good with injuries. Randy Orton however, he can make a mountain out of a mole hill. He can turn water into wine. Yes, let's HOPE AND PRAY for the return of RNN!

---

TNA Slammiversary Preview.
TNA's latest PPV offering....

THE ANNUAL "KING OF THE MOUNTAIN" MATCH: FOR THE TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Special Enforcer: Kevin Nash
Champion Samoa Joe vs. Robert Roode vs. Booker T vs. "The Instant Classic" Christian Cage vs. "The War Machine" Rhino

TNA GRUDGE MATCH
"The Phenomenal" AJ Styles vs. Olympic Gold Medalist Kurt Angle

X DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Champion "Maple Leaf Muscle" Petey Williams vs. Kaz

TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Champions The Latin American Xchange vs. Team 3D

JAY LETHAL AND SOCAL VAL GET MARRIED!
Special Guests include Best Man Sonjay Dutt, American Idol Ace Young, Jake Roberts, Koko B. Ware, George "The Animal" Steele and Kamala

Another month, another TNA PPV. I'm not going to lie to you people. I have seen maybe ONE episode of TNA Impact! the whole time it has been on TV....and yes, I'm talking about even when it was on Fox Sports. I can't stand Jeff Jarrett so his company gets no love from me. Until they sign the Ultimate Warrior and then IT'S ON! I don't know though, it's hard to get behind a wrestling company that puts the "hot guy" from American Idol on it's PPV. I mean, why Ace Young? Why not friggin Sanjaya or something? You don't think Jake Roberts giving Sanjaya a DDT is MANY BUYS~! I bet Larry would disagree.

---

Hulk Hogan's 17-year-old son will stay in solitary confinement for now. A judge on Tuesday denied Nick Bollea's request to change the conditions of his jail sentence because solitary confinement is causing him "unbearable anxiety."
Wait, so you mean to tell me that the American legal system kind of works?

This story cracks me up in soooooooo many ways it's unbearable. Dude, Nick Hogan. Open up your eyes little man. If you fuck up in this world, you have to pay for your crimes. Did you think jail was going to be a walk in the park? Did you think you were going to go in there saying "Man, I'm Hulk Hogan's kid....nobody will miss with me." HAHAHAHA! Man, you don't know people. I could have told you that this kid would be screaming for daddy after a day. He is in jail around personalities that he has NEVER seen before. He is scared shitless. If he thinks that is tough, HA! I would love to see Hogan go to one of the prisons in Nevada or California......he would off himself. I have nothing against the kid myself, I just love seeing celebrities who think they are all high and mighty get the short end of the stick and are forced to live life like the rest of us. Don't do the crime, if your ass can't do the time!

---

That's about all I have for news this week. But I'm not done yet! Right now on WWE 24/7 there is a Legend discussion about the worst character's in wrestling history. I mean, this is a friggin Wrestlecrap fan's dream! They discuss Mantaur, Bastion Booger, Norman the Lunatic, etc. So that got me to thinking. Who are some of my all-time favorite characters in WWE history? And here they are........

5) "Mr Perfect" Curt Hennig



4) Repo Man



3) "Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase



2) Razor Ramon



1) "Evil" Doink The Clown



And before I go......I leave you with this........



A-R-R-O-G-A-N-C-E!

I hope to have an interview with Bobby Lashley up in 411's MMA zone within the next few weeks so be on the lookout for that! Meehan will be back next week, but for now if you can't get enough of ME! Then you can find me on either myspace or facebook.