Truth B Told 7.03.08: The Afterlife

Posted by Bayani Domingo on 07.03.2008

At some point, we’re all going to say it, “I remember when I used to watch wrestling…whatever happened to that guy who used to eat worms?” You can’t prepare for life after wrestling you can only hope you gave it up for something better. Yeah, I’d qualify “getting some on the regular” as ‘better’.


By the time you read this today I will be less than 24 hours away from my 30th birthday. Its kind of hard for me to fathom exactly what this means for me and perhaps there are some of you reading this who will be able to put into words more eloquently what this "milestone birthday" truly means. I guess I won't be able to grasp the true meaning of this until maybe a year or two from now but for me I think I'm probably taking it harder than most. I've been in a bit of a "funk" lately and as much as I wish that had something to do with a ponytail and a swank glittery body suit and the accompanying "Funkettes" it doesn't. Things keep piling up and I guess I've just been putting off making plans for my actual birthday for as long as possible. In fact it wasn't until last week when I was finally nagged into submission by my "shorter half" that I finally started making out my "wish list". *I don't know about "better", but by God she is shorter*

I'm a pretty basic guy when it comes to gift giving, nothing really extravagant or expensive. I've finally lost about 40 lbs since October so I could always use gift certificate for clothes (I really don't trust most of my friends to pick out clothes for me…most of them are either wrestling fans and/or engineers, and I've seen the way my female friends dress their husbands/boyfriends…I'd rather just wear the gift receipts), I'm not a huge gamer but I enjoy the occasion sports game, work out gear is always great although I still have not reckoned a way to comfortably wear those cycling outfits people rock during "spin class"…is there really THAT much wind resistance indoors, and of course…I'm a wrestling fan. I figured it was easier to go from there because it's a lot harder to screw up a wrestling gift. Or at least you'd think so until you realize someone could still buy you an XPW DVD.

I'm making out my list and it seems to be going fairly easy. I knew that The Rock's DVD was coming out and I'm one of the biggest Rock marks there is…okay, I'm not even the biggest Rock "mark" in my own apartment, but we both enjoy his work for very different reasons. None of mine have to do with The Rock's "Strudel" either. I know the TNA game is coming out…okay, eventually coming out so I guess I can't really ask for that, PWG's "Best Of" isn't out yet either but will be…so that's strike two. I'm not a real big fan of wrestling t-shirts, part of me just doesn't want to have to explain who Rhett Titus is and why exactly he is "Addicted to Love" and the other part of me just hasn't come to grips with my "wrestling geekness" and the fact that I still want to appear to have a modicum of cool left. That really just leaves me with the other standby of various RoH, Puro, and maybe even CHIKARA DVDs. I figure this should be a cinch then because I don't own a lot of Puro stuff outside of Dragon Gate, there have been a TON of good RoH shows since my last b-day, and I don't even own that Best of CHIKARA DVD. Piece of cake right?

First thing I do is go through my inventory of DVDs and it's a pretty substantial one. I have at least 4 dozen DVDs in my collection, probably pitiful next to most RoHbots or WWE-marks but I think it's pretty decent. I have a ton of PWG DVDs, some old WWE ones, and my RoH collection is growing. I find the first 8 RoH DVD's I own and…they're all still in their original packaging. The next couple are various Dragon Gate, All-Japan and one NOAH set and…they're all untouched as well. Wait a second, except for two DVDs in my collection all of my Indy and Puro DVDs are still shrink wrapped or unopened. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I watched a DVD I bought. I guess there just hasn't been time. Then again I have watched TV, movies, and the occasionally horrible episode of free wrestling on TV…even gutted it out through 2 hours of commercials on Galavision on occasion to watch 20 minutes of wrestling on AAA. I guess, I don't know…I guess I just keep buying DVD for a "rainy day" but that rainy day never happens. But as I'm sitting there staring at the rows of cellophane and colorful box art I realize that the "rainy day" I'm preparing for is probably a lot sooner than I realize.

I kept buying PWG DVDs in anticipation for the day that I move back to Seattle and won't have hardly any wrestling around at all. Sure the WWE make an occasional trip up to the Pacific Northwest, but I highly doubt I'll pay the money to go to a show. I hardly even make an effort to watch RAW or ECW anymore and on occasion I'll be flipping around to the Food Network during Monday nights and totally miss an hour of RAW. I happen to love Indy wrestling and the fact that I won't have a company around where I can see some of my favorites is probably going to put a big dent in my "fandom" for the most part. It's not the same simply reading results and waiting 3 or 4 months for the DVDs to finally arrive. I started buying RoH DVDs figuring that once I'm in Seattle I can take the time I would usually spend going to various shows in SoCal and spend the time watching a far superior product to the tiny feds that pop up in gyms and parks with their 35 people audience, of which half are "comped". I'm a huge RoH fan because of the in-ring product, even if I don't necessarily follow the storylines and the ones I do don't always make a lot of sense to me. I kind of look at RoH as dating a really hot young chick that is a ton of fun between the hours of 9 pm and 4 am, but couldn't hold a conversation or a single thought in her head if you spotted her two handles and a harness. I hope Gabe doesn't read this.

But I realized that when I move to Seattle I'll be spending most of my weekends out with family and friends. I'll probably have a whole new hobby, have more time to spend outside (the 3 months out of the year I can) and the rest of the time taking in coffee shops, movies, the gym, and making up for the 13 years of babysitting I owe my siblings. I just don't know when I'll have time to sit down with a few hours of DVDs all to myself. I might be able to sneak in an occasional Youtube clip, maybe an episode of Impact or RAW, but for the most part I'm trying to figure out how I can set aside the time and justify being able to block out a few hours to just sit at home and watch a DVD the way I did when I would devote half a day to attending a live PWG show. Maybe it's a matter of time, maybe it's a matter of priorities, but I have this nagging feeling that things will only get harder from this point on.

I had always had it in my head that I would try to make it down to see the important PWG shows in LA like BoLA and maybe an All-Star Weekend or DDT4 Tournament, then BoLA got moved and I realized just how pissed off I would be if I had to try and redo my flight if that happened in a year or two from now. I guess I really can't count on anything being certain and unless RoH or TNA decide to tour up in the Great White North(west) I might just be stuck watching the occasional show on TV. That's not to say that I wouldn't want to see a live WWE show, but economics as such it doesn't make sense to spend the same $20 or $25 on tickets that I would usually spend for an Indy show just to sit in the nose bleed section and ask the kids around me who just wrestled. I want to maintain my "fandom" but at the same time I realize just how much of my "fandom" really relies on having access to live wrestling. While you can watch an event unfold on TV or via DVD it's just not the same as soon the workers just a few feet in front of you. Losing the intimacy and closeness of being able to cheer on, meet, and talk to your favorite wrestlers just leaves something to be desired. I think there are some Indy fans out there who knows what I mean when I say that it's a hell of a lot easier to love wrestling when you're right there in the middle of it all. Even if it means you might eat a Chris Hero "Pounce" now and then.

I think the older we get the more our priorities take over. I look at a guy like Csonka who is probably a few years older than me, he has a job...or jobs, a wife, and a kid, yet the guy writes like 2 out of every 3 things that go up on this site. The man has to sleep less than 3 hours a night. At some point I'll be looking for a job in Seattle, then an apartment, maybe make an "honest woman" out of my girlfriend (which is difficult since she's Vietnamese...yeah, I'm not getting any anyways for the next month so I might as well sneak that in), then possibly start a family and...well...when am I going to have time to watch 8 hours of wrestling a week? I can't imagine that I'm going to want to expose my children to Mondy Night RAW with a 40% chance of seeing Vince's bare ass, abuse against midgets, or even worse...a Khali match. I guess for so long wrestling just felt like such a huge part of my life that now that I'm finding it hard to keep up with it with the lifestyle I have now, I can't imagine what it will be like when I enter the "next phase". Maybe in a way I feel like wrestling is my way of holding on to my youth, it's my little escape from "responsibility, maturity, and common sense" and at some point I will just have to ‘grow up'. At least that's what they tell me....cuz' someone once told me that grown men don't watch other grown men oil themselves up and wrestle each other. Then again I guess they've never been to West Hollywood.

I really can't lie to myself and say that I'll follow wrestling no matter what. In fact there were about 2 or 3 years between rediscovering wrestling in college after my childhood memories of Hulk, JYD, and Brutus the Barber, and the renaissance of my "fandom" when I first discovered Indy wrestling that I didn't even think to flip the channel to USA or TNT. I know at some point I won't be able to just block out a Monday, Thursday, or Friday night to catch a show. Hell, who actually blocks out a Friday for Smackdown anyways unless they have absolutely nothing else to do? I kind of look at wrestling as this hobby, it used to be a passion of mine, but time is great equalizer. It's almost as if the more I know about the business the less I wish I did. The more "smarky" you become the less "mark" you are and you stop being able to enjoy the sport for what it is, pure entertainment. I guess in a way I'm hoping that every so often when I realize I have no idea who the WWE or TNA champion is I can just flip on a channel or pop in a DVD and rekindle that flame again. But you know, I can't remember the last 60 year old wrestling fan I've met. I guess all things do come to an end. Hell, I keep a case of my old cassette tapes around just in case I ever want to pop in some 112 or Spin Doctors...and I don't even OWN a cassette player.

I used to really love wrestling, but I find lately that it has become a serious effort just to enjoy it some days. When I was younger the showmanship and pageantry was enough to get me hooked. As a teenager I was drawn to the adrenaline and violence, the storylines and brash characters that were the anti-heroes of the day. In my 20's I rediscovered wrestling through a buddy who got me hooked on the Indy stuff, RoH first and then I discovered PWG by accident. The real draw was how close you got to the action and just how involved you really felt in each match witnessing it live. Even after the "novelty" and the newness wore off I began meeting some of the wrestlers and began to become more personally attached to them as I saw some of them go on to bigger and better things. But not it feels as though I can hear the minutes tick down on the dawn of my "fandom".

The Truth

It's not so much that I don't still enjoy watching it, but it just doesn't hold the same appeal anymore. Maybe it's the "been there, seen that" mentality that some of us have come to know. The fact that I feel like I know too much about the business, about the ins and outs, about the politics and the wasted potential of so many of my favorite wrestlers who just never seem to make it and get what they deserve. Or at least what I think they do. I've come to realize that it will be even harder to stay in touch with the Indy scenes, keep up on Puro, and even follow the weekly angles and stories of Vince, midgets, giant braided pudding pops on ECW. But I also realize that there is just no preparing for life after wrestling. Because the more you prepare for it, the less likely it'll happen.

So long as I have a DVD within sight I know there is always the chance I'll want to pop it in and watch another Danielson match. I'll probably never toss out my old N64 and that means "Wrestlemania 2000" will never be too far from my reach. Inevitably that will lead to a little web browsing to see who is still in RoH, who is the WWE Champion, which Ant is left in CHIKARA. I guess I'm kidding myself when I say that wrestling will disappear from my life forever, because from time to time I'll keep checking in just to relive a very exciting and fun time in my life, where I met a lot of good people, a lot of good friends, and a lot of smelly fans in a 120 degree gym in Hollywood. But I know at some point I'll have to give up being a "Wrestling Geek" to become a mere passerby. I don't look forward to it, but I guess I'm as prepared as I can be. Now if they only made the "Best of Bobby Dempsey" on anything but Beta max.

Coming Up Short

I get a call at around 6:15 from T-Diddy telling me that I have to watch the first 30 minutes of RAW on Monday. Without going into detail I have a good idea of what's going to happen. Lo and behold CM Punk wins the World Heavyweight Championship after Batista destroys Edge, which I thought was going to happen, only a day later than previous figured. From there he gets an emotional response and everything looks good. Until he is then buried by JBL during their little run-in backstage without so much as a witty comeback and then gets goaded into defending the title right there. He then gets a win over JBL after a distraction so it wasn't really completely clean and he seemed more surprised than anyone that he actually got the pin. Can you almost smell the "Mysterio Title Reign" from here? The plucky babyface who is just happy to have the title and has to win his matches by roll-up or interference regularly? I hope I'm wrong because this really is a fresh change of pace here on RAW but as it stands I'm not totally thrilled with Punk's reign already. Premature as this judgment is. I still have high hopes for Punk but I think it's obvious one important thing needs to happen first.

Punk has to turn heel. RAW has Cena, HBK, Batista, Mysterio, and Kane already on top of the "face" side of the roster with only JBL and Jericho as "credible" heels at this point. Having Punk turn heel has so many more possibilities than remaining face as well as allowing him to have more edge than Cena's "babyface who will defend against anyone" attitude and will allow him to avoid the "Mysterio Title Reign". The only other possibility is to let Punk do a short program with JBL before moving to Batista who could easily turn heel and claim he's "owed" a title shot, but if they want to make Punk a star ala Edge and build him up as a top player a "heel turn" is where it's at. Unless of course they are just biding their time till Randy Orton comes back. Yeah, I could buy that. Let's just hope that the aspiration for Punk's title reign doesn't come up short.

6 Degrees of…



Pinoy pride this week as Manny "Pac Man" Pacquiao absolutely DESTROYED David Diaz to become the WBC Lightweight Champion and become the first Filipino fighter to…well pretty much OWN boxing. Sure there are specific accomplishments, but let's just say the man OWNS the ring. Seeing as how we've already spotlighted the only other Filipino champion in wrestling (Batista) at least twice let's go for someone a bit off the beaten path and see if we can stump some of the Indy fans out there with the historical first ever "Filipino Supermodel"….



Shiima Xion

You know, if I was wrestling I think I might actually use the name "Magnum P.I." and come to the ring in a shiny bejeweled Barong…and a Tigers cap of course. Now if I could only grow a mustache.

Whatchu talkin' bout readers?

B,

I know what it means to be stuck in a position and never really going anywhere, it's called the "Robert Roode" philosophy of life. The powers that be (no, not from the WCW days) always say you have potential and talent, but it's hard to see that come to fruition when you're lying on your back staring at the lights, which coincidentally seems like 90% of what I do at work.

Oh yeah, back to the column. The problem isn't with the wrestlers themselves, it's with the sorry booking they are subjected to. Most of the time the WWE draft is really to see which mid-carders can be elevated, but they are quickly shopped around once management can't figure out what to do with them. Mr. Kennedy was the perfect example. In the past guys like him would be groomed in worthwhile IC title feuds just to see how they could run with the ball for the future. Now that he's on Smackdown that ball is going to have a chain attached to it with a sign that says "Stale Bookin'". Same with MVP, who should've went to RAW but now will have a great opportunity to continue staring at the ceiling during his matches with HHH.

TNA's problem is much easier as they have shown a willingness to build title feuds with all of their champions. They need to simply create a secondary title to allow the Roodes and Storms of the company a chance to run with singles gold.

It could be worse though, these guys could get the Milton from "Office Space" treatment, otherwise known in wrestling circles as the booking of Val Venis. Venis-Milton from Office Space….potential 6DO.

Take er easy,

John Reid

Funny how in the matter of a week's time RAW has pretty much become a bastion for the "New Breed" of the WWE. Punk is champion, Kofi has the IC title, and Dibiase and Cody got the tag titles. I'm truly excited for the possibilities and to be honest I'm a bit confused with what happens now on Smackdown with only one true title on the show. But you know at least some guys are making out well. Funny thing is with the tag and IC titles…what do you do with a guy after he wins it and has no place to go but sideways? I bet ya MVP, Kennedy, and Shelton are wondering the same thing. I just guess Vince has newer and shinier toys to play with now. Jamaican me CRAZY "creative".

I love how subjective the post-draft world is on this site. Because everyone says somebody else "clearly" has the most to gain. Some say Punk, some say Kennedy, some say Jeff Hardy...

I think saying who "clearly" has the most to gain is harder than saying who clearly doesn't-- Kane. Kane clearly benefits the least from all of this. Poor bastard-- I'd care, if only I cared.

Posted By: M:-X

Yeah…I "Clearly" screwed up that prediction huh?

Pretty good metaphors in this column, I liked it.

I think you forgot about one thing though, most of us are just destined to be the mid to low carder in life.

It is the old Carlin joke: Somewhere in the world has to be the worst doctor...

and you might have an appointment with him tomorrow.

Posted By: thegunisgood

That's actually a really good point. I guess the best you can hope for is to make influential friends, marry the boss's daughter, or hope Michael Hayes calls you a n****r. I mean…uh…work your way to the top…of the middle.

6 Degrees Results

I almost didn't catch two of the entries this week, for some reason they ended up in my Yahoo "Spam" folder. I'll be damned.

#3.

1. Derrick Rose was drafted by the Chicago Bulls.

2. The Bulls used to have Dennis Rodman on their roster, who was once employed by WCW as a part of the nWo.

3. Another member of the WCW Roster, Raven, was a World Heavyweight Champion in ECW.

4. Another former ECW Champion, Mikey Whipwreck was also an ECW Tag Team Champion with Mick Foley

5. Mick Foley recently replaced JBL to be an announcer for WWE's Smackown! Television Show

6. On this years Raw Draft Special, Announcer Jim Ross got drafted To Smackdown replacing Michael Cole, who was drafted to RAW, thus joining Mick Foley

-"Mr. Every Night" G-Cute

http://www.myspace.com/nbwgcute

P.S. Please Include This!

United Wrestling Alliance

Sorry G-Cute but the first link was a little lazy homie. Also I apologize for not pimping the entire picture you sent for: United Wrestling Alliance - on July 4th, Live Free Show at 7 pm at Pullman Square in Huntington, WV. But good Gawd Damn that is a huge picture. Can't be overshadowing the ladies in the column now can we. Although I figure I owed you at least a little pimpin' for the 6DO efforts. I always wanted to start an Indy federation called "Card Subject To Change". Just seems fitting.

#2.

Ok I'm not sure if this is exactly the right amount of degrees (more like 5 ½) but here goes:

Derrick Rose was born in Chicago , Illinois , basketball home of one Michael Jordan
Jordan won his last NBA Championship in 1998 against the Utah Jazz led by Karl Malone
Malone hit Scott Hall with the Diamond Cutter in the 1998 WCW Title match between Hulk Hogan and Goldberg
Goldberg wrestled his last match in WWE against Brock Lesnar, with the special guest referee Stone Cold Steve Austin
Austin had many battles during the Attitude Era with Vince McMahon
McMahon has fired Jim Ross numerous times, only to be force to rehire him.

John Reid

I was hoping for some link involving BBQ sauce. Mainly a Hot Link. Mmmm….Hot Links.

#1.

Mr. Domingo,

Nice column this week. Thought I would take a stab at your 6 degrees this week:


1) Derrick Rose - Coached by John Calipari
2) John Calipari - Assistant coach for the Philadelphia 76ers under Larry Brown
3) Larry Brown - Played college ball at North Carolina under Dean Smith
4) Dean Smith - Graduated from University of Kansas like fellow alum Don Johnson
5) Don Johnson - Acted alongside Stone Cold Steve Austin (for 6 episodes) of Nash Bridges
6) Stone Cold - Best bud and compatriot of "Good Ol' JR" – Jim Ross

Looking forward to next week's column.

Rich Paul

Actually Rich and John were close, but for some reason I liked the Dean Smith/Sonny Crockett link. I was hoping that someone would at least use the "Kane set fire to JR, which he seems okay about now" link. Oh well, looks like Rich has beginner's luck.

Left Overs…

So did they drop the "incest" angle with Burchill and Katie Lea or what? Because I've been pushing for them to come up with a finisher called "Taboo 2" for some time now and I need to know when to start print up the shirts.

Kevin Steen and El Generico fail to win the RoH Tag Titles for the umpteenth time last weekend. Looking for some inspiration and back up from someone who knows what it's like to be in their position they will be employing some help from a very unlikely source. If you don't want the spoiler then don't CLICK HERE. Hey, Steen has a family to feed too.

I really hope that Necro doesn't leave the AoTF. It would be a shame if Jimmy Jacobs lost his control and influence over Necro. Then again I hear that Sweet ‘N Sour Inc. might be vying for the Big Guy's services. I could just see it now…Bobby Dempsey leading Necro out to the ring with only a "Baby Roof" before Sweeny makes Dempsey do the "Truffle Shuffle". "Down here guys, it's our time…OUR TIME!!"

I'm a sucker for the NBA Draft. The Oklahoma City Sonics did okay in the draft if you consider drafting teenage boys out of the Congo a good draft. (And only JT does) Otherwise I was disappointed to hear that the Grizzlies and T'Wolves made a trade involving their first round draft picks. I know Memphis got a hell of a PG/SG in OJ, but the promise of a new era of Gay-Love in the front court had to be tempting. Oh well, they still got Gay-Mayo. That's probably not the kind of spread you want on your sammich though.

Weird, but why is it that all returning "Super Stars" get to come back to RAW with an in-ring promo and a complimentary "bitching out" of Santino? Did they run out of mints or something? Is it just me or is Santino's promos still about 194 times more entertaining than the entire rest of the mid-card put together right now? I can't wait till he gets a real "push" and a finisher. Probably a generic neckbreaker variation with a cool name like: Santino's Pizza Roll of the Dice.

Looks like JBL is still experiencing back pain and is considering seeking a highly unusual medical treatment in order to alleviate some of the stress on his lower back. You can read more about the procedure by CLICKING HERE.

Wow…that Atlas Ortiz/Armando Estrada match was bad…like super bad. I'm not even sure if I'd give that match a half *…I wonder what the opposite of a * is. Because it gets that. I'd give it exact 2 …Blackholes?

Umaga may be speaking soon. Looks like the WWE will be bringing in a "mouthpiece" for Umaga who will be story wise teaching the Samoan Bulldozer to speak. Right now they are looking at a female worker to come in and help him learn to speak and write as an ongoing on air angle, check out her picture by CLICKING HERE.

I feel horrible that I never made the "Bourne Jamerican" reference when Kofi teamed with Sydal. I send you my love Kofi…with a dozen roses.

Jamaican my mid-card. Good to see Kofi get an IC title reign though, but it seems like he might be too small still for a decent shot at a World Title. Which of course begs the question; If Kofi Kingston goes off "wellness" to put on some mass and size will he have to change his name to Espresso?

The Great Booty Debate 2008

This week we have Layla Dee vs Jessica Quiones. For some reason Jessica looks like a Latina Jenna Jameson before she got all cracked out and scary skinny. I guess she really DOESN'T swallow anymore...well anything really. No idea where I'm finding these chicks, but I guess I gotta give you little horn dogs what you want. Remember, get your votes in now since the contest will be ending this summer and someone needs to be crowned Queen Okay...someone besides Lansdell.

Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



Dee? Probably a couple C's at best.

Random Latina Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



How many blonde chicks can there BE in Mexico? Well probably about the same as there are in East LA I guess.

New name suggestions for a Cena/Cryme Time stable? How about "Double Stuff"? Wait…did Lita already copyright that name?

Go's with Sweet ‘n Sour? How random is SnS now? They have this huge roster of members with absolutely no rhyme or reason for why they are even grouped together other than they are all under the same basic payroll now. They're like the New York Knicks of pro wrestling. Except Sweeney never got sued for HIS sexual harassment.

I went to a titty bar for an early birthday bash with the RCX (Ring Crew Xxxpress) last weekend and lo and behold the prices of lap dances jumped up $5. Good Gawd damn, the skyrocketing gas prices are affecting everything now. How the hell do you justify raising dances by 20%? It's not like I got 20% more dance…or lap. Then again my buddy the "Joo" must have gotten a "Hybrid" dancer since he was telling me the "mileage" he got was amazing.

Pimpin' In High Places

Punk, Kofi, The Million Dollar American Dreams, Sexual Chocolate Pudding, V.1., and …well HHH. I guess not everything is topsy turvy in the world of wrestling. Still here at 411 we firmly hold to our stance that youngster do INDEED have to pay their dues. Fortunately said dues are only $15 a month and a rotating schedule of who has to make the Rice Krispy Treats.:

Ask 411

Jules

HH

CoH

J-Weezy

D-Dubya

I almost started the column off with the chorus to that Avenge Sevenfold song. I thought it was a bit cliché, although it would have been perfectly warranted. It's going to be a pretty rough month this month, I have a "house guest" for the next 4 weeks that just happens to be my girlfriend's lil' bro. I should charge that dude rent for using up all my electricity for staying up all night and playing WoW and watching TV. Lord helps me if he figures out the secret stash of Patron and porn I have hidden away. On the bright side my girl will now officially "owe me" for the next 3 months after. Or at least one really good "Get out of Jail Free" card. I'm thinking of using it on a hooker. Btw, PWG's 5th Anniversary is this Sunday, if you see a dude there with an Asian chick, a gangly 17 year old kid, and a hooker…that's probably me.

Till then, the Truth will set you free.
-B