The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks: 07.04.08

Posted by John Meehan on 07.04.2008

Celebrate your independence by skipping this week's column -- it's mostly filler anyway. Hey, at least I'm honest!



Welcome back and HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY, all! For those of y'all not quite fortunate enough to be living on my side of the pond on this glorious day (that goes for our Canadian readers too, actually) -- FOR SHAME! Wait, no... I'll take that back. In the true spirit of freedom and liberty, let Mee be the first to make you an honorary American for the day so that you can join us in this annual tradition of unbridled patriotism and unapologetically jingoist revelry.

"U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!"

I'll allow my good friend Apollo Creed to do the official induction ceremony. After all, what screams "I'm proud of my country, dammit!" any louder than a man in a sequined Uncle Sam getup, prancing about with a chorus line of scantily clad Las Vegas showgirls while the Godfather of Soul sings what may as well be considered the national anthem of the good old U.S. and A, eh? Take it away, Apollo!



Apollo Creed: I want YOU ta' be an American for a day! YOU!

(receives memo spoiling the poor bastard's fate in Rocky IV)

Well nevermind that nonsense. Not much in the way of offscreen gossip and developments this week (and still a decidedly quiet spell from TNA... which leads Mee to believe that there's a direct inverse corelation between "amount of backstage DRAMAAAA" and "actual quality of onscreen programming," come to think of it, as TNA has been on a roll of late) -- but let's get to what news we do have, yes?

Rock & Roll.



Smackdown! Changes in the Works? Show Could Go Live on Select Fridays Starting This Fall

File this one under "developing" -- but the biggest news item of the week may well be the rumors that select editions of Smackdown! could be transitioning to a LIVE broadcast once the show hits MyNetworkTV this coming October. According to a variety of web reports, WWE would like to raise the profile of this long-rumored "B-show," and would like to offset the prospective loss of viewership that might otherwise have come after they make the jump away from their longtime home in UPN/The CW. As such, the company is considering a once-monthly live Smackdown broadcast to coincide as one last "go-home show" and help with the hard-sell for their monthly PPV offerings. And with newly imported big name stars like Triple H, Jim Ross, Jeff Hardy and (we'll assume) The Undertaker all on the horizon to play a major role in the months to come -- of the sudden, wrestling fans are buzzing and Friday Nights might just be *THE* (long sounding "eeee") place to be.

Now then --

We all know Jim Ross was peeved about the move from live television, and so the skeptic in Mee says that there's every reason to beleive that this may well be just another dangling carrot of a publicity stunt in order to keep the guy (and the new network) happy under the lure of "live" broadcasts in the months to come. But then again, JR himself refuted the rumors of a move to live SD! tapings just this week -- so who knows what the real story may be?

Regardless --

Smackdown has just come into a tremendous influx of new talent, and live show or not, the show is staring at a world of possibilities if they play their cards right. Let's not overstate the "Edge and La Familia are played out" or the "Triple H makes shows boring and redundant" angles just yet (give it a chance, people... sheesh! It's like the IWC just took all of their criticisms of RAW and shifted 'em on over to SD! instead) -- but the blue brand really does have a lot going for it in the months to come even if a live broadcast isn't in their immediate future. And with the "anything can happen" atmosphere that we've seen on RAW this past week, maybe it's not the worst thing in the world to just sit back and see how things play out in terms of onscreen developments and storylines *before* we start throwing a hissy fit over whether or not a show is live or prerecorded.

After all --

Quality programming is quality programming, and solid entertainment is solid entertainment regardless of when it airs. Just look to the tremendously successful WWE DVD library for proof. Sure, a live broadcast helps add to the excitement... but there's an old adage that a well-told story is timeless.

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CM Punk Wins World Title on RAW
Upstart Superstars Abound in Wake of 2008 Draft

This one is a fairly obvious news item since it appeared by way of our television screens courtesy of this past Monday night's RAW, but the long and short of things is that WWE suddenly finds themselves with a boatload of young stars as titleholders on each of their three brands. To recap, we've got:

CM Punk (RAW) - World Champion
Kofi Kingston (RAW) - Intercontinental Champion
Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes (RAW) - World Tag Team Champions
The Miz and John Morrison (ECW) - WWE Tag Team Champions

In addition, RAW's main event overrun segment -- which saw new champion CM Punk defending the World Championship against John Bradshaw Layfield -- scored a 4.12 quarter hour rating, the highest of the show. What's more, this show-ending segment closed out with RAW mainstay John Cena making his way to ringside with an unlikely pair of allies: Shad Gaspard and JTG of Cryme Tyme (not to mention with CM Punk quite literally "vaulting" himself right into the middle of a ringside brawl).

Long and short of things --

There's a healthy dose of new titleholders all over the WWE landscape, and ratings (for this week, at least) seem to reflect a certain level of spiked fan interest. Now whether or not this spike is actually attributable to any one(s) of these relatively new names in particular certainly remains to be seen, but the fact of the matter is that WWE has certainly bolstered their efforts to "shake things up," and it appears -- for now, at least -- that they have managed to create a real air of unpredictability on their shows, and thus catch a few new (or returning old) viewers' attention as a result.

Now of course --

As with all things, there's a LONNNNG way to go before the internet 'rasslin fans can safely strut about proclaiming that a "new era" of top-level talent has arrived. After all, CM Punk has been a "world" champion in WWE before (albeit in ECW...), and the show's ratings pretty much stayed consistent with the kind of numbers that preceded and followed his time atop the heap. Plus he won the title on a "fluke" (even if it was a brilliant one), and only managed to defend it successfully thanks to some well-timed outside interference... AND he's suffered a slew of high-(and-low)-profile losses since WrestleMania, only to be left staring at a TON of stars on the Red Brand that have been built up as absolute world-beaters (Cena, Batista, etc.)... and so fans might have a hard time buying the guy as a legitimate addition to the longterm title picture when all's said and done. Still, conventional wisdom says that for today at least, he (and WWE) have certainly succeeded in keeping people guessing. That, in turn, means more fans watching, and that *usually* translates into more fans attending and -- most importantly -- more fans BUYING. And so if WWE can manage to use their newer talent to keep viewers guessing and talking about their shows, then the future looks bright for this young crop of superstars.

All that said --

Do be sure to brace yourself for the reverse-swing of the pendulum if (when?) ratings cool off for whatever reason in the days, weeks or months to come. Here's hoping ratings stay strong and that new talent continues to be given the chance to shine -- but we all know how fickle these sorts of things have been in the past (ask the once-"Undisputed Champion," Chris Jericho, for example). But if they don't? Gotta' believe that at least a few of the heads on the proverbial chopping block will be none other than the very same "fresh faces" who've just recently risen to the top of the title hunts across the board. Longtime fans will tell you that it's hardly unprecedented (or really all that unforgivable, when you think about it) to see a multi-million-dollar corporation hit the panic button from time to time -- particularly in cases where they're putting a great deal of time, effort and trust (for all intents and purposes) still something of an unproven commodity in a new crop of stars.

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Ashley Massaro Requests WWE Release
Diva Search Winner Asks for Walking Papers via MySpace

In a puzzling bit of (non?)news from the WWE diva camp this week, former RAW and Smackdown! starlett Ashley Massaro has requested her release from World Wrestling Entertainment. According to a post made on her MySpace page, Ashley has asked for her walking papers in order to provide closer care and medical attention to her seven-year-old daughter, whom she is currently raising as a single mother. While the veracity of Massaro's request (and WWE's decision to grant her release) *may* or may not indeed be 100% legit, the bottom line is that the lady is looking to hang up her wrestling boots -- at least for the immediate future -- and so it's probably in the best interests of all parties involved if WWE decides to part company and call it a day.

First the Survivor: China debacle (first a leak, then a dismal showing)

Then the call-girl scandal (still awaiting that lawsuit, Ash...)

Not to mention the poor girl's frighteningly skinny appearance and penchant for questionable/sloppy tattoos (and I freaking LOVE girls with tattoos... but seriously now)

Like I said -- maybe it's best to let things alone and give this former Playboy covergirl the walking papers she's requested. Since this is the "positive" column of the bunch, I'll refrain from nitpicking over Ashley's grammar and ill-advised decision to sign her "I'm leaving 2 care 4 my sick daughter" blog post with the OH-SO-CLASSY nickname of "Dirty Dirty" -- but the bottom line is that she's looking to get out (and apparently, for a noble reason) and so WWE would be well served to sign that release form and get on with business from there.


Since news is so ridiculously light this week (other news in brief: Kofi Kingston ISN'T REALLY JAMAICAN!; Booker T is peeved -- or not, depending on who you ask), we're going back to the gimmick well with a return of the ever-popular "bonus feature" of 'rasslin-related distractions in order to make y'all feel as if you've gotten your money's worth out of this week's column. This week, in honor of the Fourth of July holiday, I thought it'd be fun to take a few minutes and stroll down memory lane with a GRATUITOUS TOP FIVE COUNTDOWN of the MeeThinks Top Five Pro Wrestling Patriots of All Time.Diehard wrestling superfans may notice the glaring omission of WCW's American Males tandem of Buff Bagwell and Scotty Riggs from this list. This was no accident.

Those guys sucked ass.

Here goes nothing (of substance)!

Pro Wrestling Patriot #5: "The Patriot" Del Wilkes



Del Wilkes is a perfect example of what happens when you take a perfectly acceptable professional wrestling gimmick and flip the sucker 180 degrees to the point where it serves absolutely no purpose whatsoever. Typically speaking, the one-dimensional role of "token foreign guy" usually translates to a great deal of heelish success (see: Mr. Fuji, Yokozuna, The Iron Sheik, etc.). But when you try the same formula on a babyface wrestler? Suddenly, the lack of depth becomes all-too apparent -- and people start cheering for the bad guys instead. I mean don't get Mee wrong here... Bret Hart was a fantastic rulebreaker and all -- but when folks would rather rally around a beer-swelling, middle-finger-waving Steve Austin as their "all American hero" than pay so much as a moment's attention to a masked U.S. uberPatriot? Well, ya' might just have to call it a career there, Del.


Pro Wrestling Patriot #4: Sergeant Slaughter



For non-fans, The Sarge may well be best remembered as a supporting character in the animated GI Joe series. For casual fans, the guy is probably most well-known for his highly publicized stint as an Iraqi sympathizer during the first Gulf War. But for the die-hard fan, Sergeant Slaughter is a true-blue patriot through and through, and as proud an American as you're ever likely to find in the ranks of a professional wrestling roster. Pay no mind to that Desert Storm nonsense... and let's revel in the greatness that was his Commie-crushing heyday. After all, if we forgave the Hulkster for his nWo days, then we can *certainly* look past The Sarge's transgressions when it comes to Saddam Hussein, right?


Pro Wrestling Patriot #3: Kurt Angle



From the blaring entrance anthem (borrowed though it was), to the red, white and blue singlet, and right down to the honest-to-goodness Olympic Gold medal that hung proudly around his neck -- Kurt Angle is the epitome of how versatile the uberpatriot role can be. In the hands of a less capable performer, it'd be pretty hard for US fans to boo for a guy who so proudly wraps himself in the American Flag and its virtues. But with Kurt Angle playing the part? This guy made Bill O'Riley look fair and balanced, and wrestling fans were more than happy to shower him with all sorts of heelish disdain. Shame of it is, by the end of his WWE run the crowds couldn't help but be impressed by Angle no matter HOW sleazy or un-American he tried to be (some might even say that he became WWE's answer to Steven Colbert). Still, this lead to a classic series of inflammatory promos just like this one...



lol. "the black people..."


Pro Wrestling Patriot #2: Hacksaw Jim Duggan



Our dear old buddy Hacksaw would have totally scored the number one slot had it not been for his most unfortunate heel run in latter-day WCW alongside a particularly traitorous bunch of Canadian scum. Still, nobody gets the crowds hopping with a round of "U-S-A!" cheers better than Jim Duggan, and so it's an easy call to include him in just about every wrestling-related list of All Americans.


Pro Wrestling Patriot #1: Hulk Hogan



Screw the haters, Hulk Hogan is, was, and always will be the very best (and worst) of how a professional wrestling gimmick was born to be played. Cartoonish beyond belief, the blue-screen entrance video you see here is a classic example of just how "subtle" (or not so...) 80's era WWF production efforts were when attempting to convey the underlying motives and allegiances of their stars. Seriously people -- the guy is jamming away on a guitar to a song called REAL AMERICAN while Old Glory flies proudly in the background. And let's not forget the fire in his eyes when he crumples up that photo! Whoo buddy. Is there any doubt that this guy is fighting the good fight for the U-S-of-A?


And With That, I'm Outta' Here

That'll do it for Mee again this week. As fate would have it, I'm off to Kansas City all of next week for a particularly lameass work-related assignment... but on the bright side, the office is totally picking up the tab for every bit of trouble I might manage to get myself into while I'm away. Five star hotel, you say? Hmm... smells like room service to Mee! Catch y'all in two weeks, so enjoy the Fourth -- and always stay positive!

- Meehan

The National Domestic Violence Hotline : [phone]-SAFE.