Wrestling’s 4R’s 7.04.08: Punk Cashes In, Henry Saves ECW, Cage is Down and Possibly Out, HHH has a New Throne and More!

Posted by Larry Csonka on 07.04.2008

Out of respect for Geoff’s privacy, I will not be forthcoming with a teaser for this week’s column…



How the 4R's of wRestling Work!
Here is a quick explanation of the 4R's. I will take the 4 main shows (5 if I go RetRo) of the week: TNA Impact, WWE Raw, ECW on Sci-Fi and WWE Smackdown. If we have a PPV, that show will get a special PPV edition of the R's all to its own. I then group my feelings on the shows in various categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and need discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied or go the wrong way the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles, Diva searches and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come, unless you are TNA. They have a special R all of their own, the 6th R; the Russo-FN-Riffic~! This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a "mark" column, nor a "smark" column, my goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. There are also occasions where I will bring out a 5th or even a 6th R to the column, so beware of those~! I will not apologize for my opinions, they are as they are, whether very positive or negative.

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In HD where available…


By: Larry Csonka

iMpact 6.26.08:

THE RIGHT:

Personality Profiles II: As I have said for a long time, when TNA actually takes the time to run a SOLID personality profile piece on people they do it very well. Once again, I give TNA credit for the personality profiles they are running. This week they highlighted Angelina Love. They once again had Scott D'Amore on to discuss her and her early career, as well as Gail Kim, as they worked together early on. They did a good job of showing who she was, while also keeping her in character. It's a different way to build a singles program between the two ladies, as they are trying to play that they have feuded since the beginning of their careers. This was good stuff. Furthermore they continued the Rough Cuts segment with Matt Morgan. I will say again that with him not being on TV the last few weeks (Due to Gladiators I believe) this is a great way to keep his face on TV, while letting people still get to know him since they have big plans for him. And again while not as good as the ladies piece, it was effective so YAY TNA!

AJ vs. CREED: AJ and Consequences Creed were the opening match on Impact this week, and while short they had a fun little opener. Tenay sold the story of AJ and Creed having a past and that AJ pushed for the young man to get a job with the company, which I thought was a nice touch. While short, Creed was not totally jobbed as he was able to hang with AJ a bit, but ultimately AJ was just better and won clean with the clash. Much like Booker T's match last week, this was exactly what it should have been. AJ is UP HERE on the card, and Creed is DOWN THERE. That's the way things should work, always have worked and really work the best. Short, simple and well executed. YAY TNA!

BROTHER RAY vs. CHRISTIAN CAGE: Before their match Brother Ray cut a good promo on Cage, explaining that he and Devon had already taken care of one punk, Rhino (who's neck the hoped they broke) and now would take care of Cage. He proclaimed that Cage would be stretchered out of the Impact zone and then said, "don't got to the fridge or make love to your ugly wife, because you will see something that you have never seen in a wrestling ring before. Tonight I make history, as it will be the last night of Christian's wrestling career!" That's some shit that you NEED to back up and he did. They ran a short match, we got a DQ a bit over 2-minutes in as Devine ran in and Ray used a kendo stick on Cage. Devon and Tomko would then come to the ring with what looked like a giant glass coffee table. They super-bombed Cage through the table, in what was a damn good visual and Cage would be helped by EMT's. They had gimmicked rags with "blood" on them to sell the back was cut up, and while some thought it cheesy, I thought it went off rather well. I dug the angle overall and team 3D are delivering as of late. This was good shit.

BOOKER'S NEW LOCKER ROOM: This was one of the greatest things I seen ALL TIME…ALL MY LIFE. Booker has been so much fun since turning heel and last week's segment in his "new" locker room was just tremendous. Borash being invited in, having to take his shoes off, Booker magically appearing in a smoking jacket and pipe ruled as well as the fact that Booker is all cool with his SUSHI in the locker room. BIG TIME! Borash looking at the pictures on the wall and asking, "Is that the greatest of all time" and Booker's reply of, "Yes, and that's Muhammad Ali with me" ruled so hard. He then went on to explain that this is the way shit was supposed to be since day one, but that he was mistreated even though ratings and buy rates were through the roof (HA HA HAAAAAAAAA!). He then explained how Nash and Joe were beneath him and that not only will he prove he is the best, but he would BUST NASH'S PUNK ASS! I always dug the switch from Proper T to Street T. This was a really fun and well-done segment.

PURGATORY:

28:45: Usually every week I discuss the amount of wrestling that we have on the show. As I have stated repeatedly that I think that 35-40-minutes a week of wrestling should be the goal with the 2-hour show since TNA is striving to be different, to be an alternative. Some people feel that this is unreasonable, but I don't. Also, once again to remind people, the reason I discuss it about TNA each week is because THEY claim that they are an alternative to the WWE product, which is entertainment based. TNA is supposed to be about the wrestling, and they have been doing well lately. But I have been sticking to a formula, and that is 30-minutes gets you the right. They fell a tad short, so this week it is purgatory.

KONG'S CHALLENGE: I still love the idea of the Kong challenge, but this week the execution was POOR and that was due to the young lady they chose, Danielle. I understand that they need to use inexperienced people for this for various reasons and I am fine with that, but she was HORRIBLE. She sold poorly, she got blown up almost instantly and sandbagged Kong on the Kong bomb try, which could have gotten her hurt and hurt badly. She does NOT need to be anywhere a wrestling ring in my opinion. But thankfully the segment was saved with the after match angle. Young Taylor was in the crowd again and she wanted some more of Kong. Taylor rushed the ring, they brawled and had a big pull apart, and it was GREAT! Cornette would eventually come to the ring and explain that she can't do shit this way, and Taylor proposed that she face Saeed for a shot at the Challenge once again. Cornette agreed to talk it over with her, and this went very well and saved what was a bad segment.

KNOCKOUTS BIMBO BRAWL: We had a "Knockouts Bimbo Brawl" this week on Impact, that's a hell of a name there Vinnie Ru, you've done well. ODB and Moose had a brawl, it was fine; perhaps a little blah at times, Moose won with a DDT on a chair and that was that. My issues with this match, besides the fact that it was rather blah, not horrible, was the fact that I don't know why we even had this match. Moose lost on the PPV to ODB when they had the 6-woman tag and hasn't been mentioned since. They then have this match, with no hype behind it, no notice and make it a stipulation match to boot. I mean, we couldn't have taken a minute last week to have Moose jump ODB backstage, pissed that she lost, beat her down, use a weapon or two and WHAMMO there is the set up. This came completely out of nowhere. Also, ODB is sliding down the card with no rhyme or reason. They once seemed very focused with the ladies, but are splitting off in so many directions that they may lose the focus and draw they had, but we'll wait and see what happens. The good news is that this was the highest rated segment on the entire show, proving again that the TNA ladies are drawing well.

WORLD X-CUP MATCH: TEAM MEXICO vs. TEAM JAPAN: The World X-Cup continued this week and they continued their trend of delivering. The way I look at the World X-Cup matches are that they are like fast paced exhibition bouts. They are supposed to feel totally different from the rest of the matches on the show and they have done a good job of that. Speed Muscle battled Team Mexico and had a damn fine little bout here, one I enjoyed again. They delivered, and in the end Team Mexico got on the board with the victory. I had some fears of how they would mesh, but they did just fine. But there was one major problem that really turned a lot of people off, and when that many people are bothered by it, then it is something that needs discussed. Early on in the match Team Japan was going for a pin, but since both men were in the ring, the illegal man was forced to go to the apron. That is all well and good, standard operating procedure right there. But for the finish of the match, the ref allowed Team Mexico to pull the double team pin on Doi. A blatant contradiction to what was already laid down as the rules. This annoyed people, and I see why. We often joke that there are no rules in TNA, just what they want to enforce and when. This was an example of that, and unfortunately it takes away from the match.

SAVE SO CAL VAL!: While I have not been happy with the early developments of the Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt feud, and while this week's stuff wasn't spectacular, it was better. Sonjay Dutt came to the ring with GURU-ITES that collected money for the SAVE SO CAL VAL FUND. This was creepy in a Michael Jackson kind of way, yet entertaining to a point. He explained that tonight was about peace and love and that he wanted to save Val because of their love they have. This led to Val coming out, upset followed by Lethal who wanted to brawl, but Sonjay and the GURU-ITES escaped. Dutt is doing well as a heel, but the early weeks of the program have made this hard to enjoy. I hope they continue to improve because with Dutt doing so well as a heel and Lethal being over with the crowds they could have a pretty fun program.

JOE and NASH ISSUES/NASH vs. BOOKER: The sage of Joe vs. Nash continued this week, and for the most part I found myself enjoying it, even though I know it is leading to Joe vs. Nash. The backstage interview I felt was hilarious as Joe came in and made fun of Nash's knee issues and then they joked about JUDO GENE'S BOOK! Nash played the "it's mental, not physical" card and overall I liked it. We then moved to the Nash vs. Booker T main event. While not a "GOOD" match, it wasn't bad either. Nash was motivated, Booker did a good job of controlling things and overall it served its purpose. Booker would ail Joe with a chair that he was sitting in, which led to the finish of Joe accidentally superkicking Nash, allowing Booker to win. It worked well enough, but part of me didn't like it because they are putting a lot of heat on Joe vs. Nash, as opposed to Joe vs. Booker, which IS the next main event. It could have been a lot worse, but overall it wasn't bad.

THE WRONG:

TRIGG SETS UP AJ: I would like to start this by saying that Frank Trigg did very well on the mic. The guy can talk, he also has the attitude and was completely comfortable out there, which is a good thing. But while the promo was good, the angle unfortunately came off poorly in my opinion. He tricks AJ into coming to the ring, which is fine. But as SOON as AJ leaves, they split the screen and Kurt Angle is magically in the locker room with Karen. He harasses her, and says since he can't hurt her, he'll have someone else do the work. The Beautiful People are there, they proceed to have a piss poor stripper fight and brownbag Karen. The thing was that you could barely see the Beautiful People, and when they "beat Karen down" they did so in a dark corner, and seeing the bagging was hard due to poor lighting. This was a horrible display of production that hurt what would have been a decently effective angle. It amazes me that such poorly shot stuff can make a post-produced show.

THE RIDICULOUS:

KURT'S GONNA GO ON BLIND DATES: Kurt hates women, 3D are going to set him up on blind dates, Angle refuses to date fat women like Devon and that was that. Seriously, I don't want bullshit Kurt Angle, I want bad ass Kurt Angle. Also, Tomko is back to being background bitch here, which sucks. Come on TNA, knock off the stupid shit and go back to what has been working well and making the shows good.

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By: "The Whole Geoffin Show" Geoff Eubanks

WWE SmackDown 6.27.08

To start this week, I want to point a spotlight on this extremely informative and much appreciated comment from Black Scorpion, responding to my offering that Michelle McCool's heel hook submission looked weak and ineffectual:

"About that "heel hook" looking lame - just for the record, Geoff, arguably the most deadly mixed martial arts maneuver (and most often banned) is the heel hook. When utilized, it has a high probability of shattering the knee on a permanent basis as well as the shinbone. It is not a move to take lightly and frankly I'm very concerned for the fact they are allowing a female wrestler to use it since it takes very little to twist and harm
somebody, as some people cannot even tell if their knee breaks during the twist until they stand up. So, it may LOOK weak to you but in reality its one of the top 5 feared/effective submissions in MMA and honestly, too good of a move for any female wrestler to use considering the high, high risk of grave injury.

I am decidedly NOT an MMA guy, therefore, the severity of this hold completely escaped me. I am completely grateful to the Scorpion for educating me in this matter! Hmm…I wonder who could have taught Michelle this move …?

As for the whole Khali/Robinson deal, I was not harping on Khali killing someone, although I have in the past. All I simply meant to suggest was that, specifics notwithstanding, there was a huge size differential and,
unintentional death or not, Robinson¹s got big, brass balls because "yes, this is entertainment, but the hazards are real."

The Right:

I'm not the president of the Edge fan club…SHE is: So says Jim Ross, but it applies to me as well. Friends of The R's know exactly how I feel about both Matt Hardy and Edge, that I am an absolute Hardy mark and, although I hold more than a little personal distaste for Edge, there is absolutely no way to discount his ability and the fact that he totally deserves his spot as the #1 heel in WWE. That said, predictably, this was a hell of a good TV match and I still cling to that dream of seeing them compete on PPV for a world title (with Matt going over, of course!).

I'm not going to allow myself to be blinded by markdom, though; fun as this match was to watch, Hardy made an oversight in his initial attack, in that he may very well have missed the opportunity to FINALLY pin his nemesis by failing to capitalize upon the midsection, which had to still be smarting from Batista's Spear at the show's opening. Instead, his attack was solid, yet unfocused, allowing Edge the chance to be evasive and create his own opening. On the other side of the coin, though, it could be argued, had the referee not been out of position and in Hardy's way when Edge sent him to the corner, forcing Hardy to stop short and take his focus off of his opponent, he very well may not have turned blithely into a match finishing Spear. And, lest I be criticized for employing the "pecking order" argument solely when it suits me, it does make sense for Edge to go over here, as he is a main-eventer, a height Hardy has yet to reach himself, although part of me does want to question the wisdom of jobbing Hardy clean, even to someone higher up on the card than himself, on the go-home where he would be defending his belt, as well as Edge. However, the quality of the match itself is irrefutable.

BTW, can anyone ever recall Hardy scoring a pin from The Side-Effect?

There's more ink in the ring than it takes to print the Sunday Times: I was incredibly skeptical when WWE debuted Umaga. I recall the original WILD SAMOANS, Afa & Sika, and I just didn't think the typical old savage gimmick (as in Kamala, not Macho Man) would get over in the modern day. Boy was I wRong!!! It took some time but I have been TOTALLY won over by You-Mang-Gah, to the point that he¹s suddenly one of my absolute favorites on SmackDown!, if not the entire WWE. For a man to carry his mass and be as
agile, quick and flexible as he displays himself to be is little less than miraculous. A super-heavyweight with his fluidity just blows me away, and, because he straight up earned my awe and admiration, I like him all the
more.

Something I really want to point out here in his regard, did you see in this match where he clamped down on Batista¹s ample trapezius muscle? There¹s a difference between the timing in which he applies that rest hold and when, say, elsewhere in the night, whichever one of THE EDGEHEADS slaps on a comparatively arbitrary headlock. Watching Umaga, there's a process, he hits early, hard and heavy, making his opponent wobbly and weary, then clamps an intensely painful and debilitating hold such as the trap claw, to further
wear down his foe, then, while still woozy and aching, it¹s the assalance and The Samoan Spike and it's over before the poor sod knows what hit him. Conversely, you look at these developmental grads and get the impression that they're simply following a stock template off a ditto sheet handed out by Billy Kidman. Proof that Umaga isn't just big and powerful and quick, he KNOWS what he's doing, he THINKS and is a STRATEGIST in the ring, which makes him a HELL of a threat.

Even so, the fire and desire in Big Dave saw him recover and was well on his way to taking the Samoan Bulldozer down, but THE RMY had other plans, attacking and outnumbering Batista, the last chance they had to soften up Big Dave before he met Edge at NOC, Umaga doing Edge's bidding as THE RMY held down Batista, until HHH made the save, a mini-EVOLUTION reunion closing Dave's final SD! appearance as THE EDGEHEADS did their job, protecting their benefactor, even as they ate concurrent Batista Bomb and Pedigrees. One has to assume, with Batista Raw-bound, the thorn Edge & Vickie thought they were pulling from their sides, will be replaced by The Game-ah. In the words of a great man, business is about to pick up on SmackDown!.


Come on, Frenchie Man, I love Victoria: LOL! That was The Black Widow cheering her partner Maryse (along with her BFF Natalya) against the trio of Michelle McCool, Cherry & Kelly Kelly. Despite the obvious weak links on the teams (Maryse and Kelly) this really was a hell of a good ladies¹ match which served to further not only the intrigue with respect to which other ladies will be facing Natalya to crown the first Diva's Champion on SD!, but, with Maryse again getting the three on "Cherry Cherry", the issue between these two divas doesn't seem to be slowing down anytime soon, either. The ladies who could actually wrestle were featured throughout, while the weak links were allowed only limited time, which served the match as a whole quite well (although Kelly did kind of impress with a beautiful hurricanrana and a late-match pounce with piston-like Right hands, perhaps there's hope for her yet!). My only point of conjecture was that Maryse got the pin, BUT because it was under dubious circumstances and, as mentioned, she pinned Cherry, with whom she has an issue (thus making Cherry¹s eventual victory on her matter), I have to praise this one! Amazing how there are suddenly all these really talented women wrestling four nights a week on TV, huh?

BTW, with respect to Maryse & McCool, a couple weeks ago I made a comment with respect to how thin those ladies are, and, apparently, someone took offense in the comments section, in less than classy fashion. To the dickweed in question, that was absolutely NOT a knock on these ladies, as they look great, it was simply a somewhat startled observation, so pull your Batgirl Underoos outta that cavern you call an asscrack and chill out some.

Rey Mysterio jumps and clicks his heels together, slips and falls, tears his biceps: We had a great parting promo and an even better moment as Batista gave Rey a warm send-off to Raw tonight. Rey is an amazingly talented guy (DUH) and, as JR & Foley drove home, appears to be a hell of a good guy IRL. He's always been a highlight of SD! and has managed to transcend some AWFUL stories (remember that horrible "Dominick has two daddy's" thing we all endured a couple years ago with Eddie Guerrero'?) to provide some of the most competitive, entertaining and enjoyable matches on the card, each and every night for the past six years. It's my sincerest hope that he doesn¹t get lost in the shuffle and that he stays well in the very least on Mondays (it¹s my BIGGER hope that he finds himself with a world title around his waist again, too, but). I¹m also STOKED that I don't have to endure that painfully HORRIBLE entrance song of his on Fridays anymore. Godspeed, Rey, kick some ass, and thank you!

Sizzle, steak and a side of barbeque sauce As redundant and predictable as it may be to discuss, I felt the new announce team of Mick Foley & Jim Ross knocked it out of the park tonight. Their chemistry was spot-on, as anticipated, given their close and long-time friendship, and if JR was still miffed and ruffled over the transition, he surely didn't show it. A point that didn¹t dawn on me till I was actually watching tonight's show, another reason to have Good Ol JR on Fridays is because that's WWE's last chance to sell a following Sunday's PPV, and no one calls the big match sell like Ross, so this makes a lot of sense. Of course, that's easy for me to say, because I'm happy as George Bush watching shit blow up with the announce team of Ross & Foley on Fridays. It's going to be a particular personal joy of mine to watch this team develop and grow.

SmackDown! goes promosexual As enjoyable as this show was overall tonight, it dawned on me as the night progressed, that we didn't even have all of our draft acquisitions debut/return tonight, so we still have a lot to look forward to next week! Not only that, but McMahonagement did a hell of a job of spotlighting the top stars yet to come, particularly Jeff Hardy and Kennedy (to say nothing of the fantastic video piece on Umaga early in the show to preview the main event). I criticized WWE for not having shown the Khali piece until a week AFTER the giant arbitrarily returned to Friday night from his hiatus back to the mother country, so this definitely bears mentioning, as does a hearty THUMBS UP! Oh, yeah, Carlito is on his way back, funny, no video for him.

puRgatory

Enough of the blatant sucking up? This is highly more Right than wRong; don't allow me to mislead you good folks, I've been a big fan of Triple H's since he was Jean-Paul Leveque in WCW. Granted there have been times I¹ve wanted to kill him and more for than just selfish reasons, but I can say the same about my brother, too, and I love him like, well, a brother. Yes, friends, like it or not, HHH is now the #1 face on Friday nights, and I can¹t say I'm disappointed, for now. This should prove to be an interesting experiment in testing exactly how much power HHH has and is willing to exert over the booking team (although considering the rumors regarding the relation implicit in both HHH's and Jim Ross' move to SD!, one has to wonder). Bear in, mind, though, HHH had a good long stretch on Raw without gold and, given SD!'s step-child status within the company (all deference to all you step-kids!), HHH could likely be viewed by McMahonagement as the Friday Night Savior. For now I am more than fine with this role for HHH, although the promo with which he opened the show caused me to make a dentist appointment. "As long as all you people are here, then I'm home." UGH. To quote the great Margot Channing, "I detest cheap sentiment."

Father & son head to NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS I understand we were simply seeing an exhibition match to display Finlay & Horny Little Bastard as a viable threat to The Miz & John Morrison¹s WWETTT reign on Sunday, and they make a much more convincing team than one might initially consider, but THE EDGEHEADS looked Ridiculously bad here; in fact, despite JR attempting to shill them as being outstanding, despite having been paired with the compny's #1 heel, in the ring, these two cheese wipers have hardly improved as performers at ALL since debuting as THE MAJOR BROTHERS. Granted, they've got the psychological aspect down, as well as playing great patsies/hangers-on (which really is an art unto itself), but they still stink on ice in the ring, which concerns me. Altogether, main objective served, but I fear for the future of Curt Hawkins & Zack Ryder.

Okay, I'm not warming to the Russian… But I am finding that I'm appreciating him more when people, you know, FIGHT BACK, or where he's not completely out sizing his opponent. I was a lot more impressed with Vladimir Kozlov tonight because he could actually look Domino in the eye and match power with him. And, yes, I did QUITE enjoy seeing Domino get his ass handed to him. I get the build, and, altogether, it has been executed well, it's just that I STILL don't believe he's going to be around in two years' time. However, he is beginning to be more interesting as the opponents get bigger. I'd be down with a rematch next week (although, admittedly, just because I want to see Domino get the shit beat out of him again).

The wRong

Looking for depth: Okay, sure, I was on board in the beginning of the tag match pimping the WWECW Title preview for NOC, pitting the reluctant team of Kane & The Big Show against Mark Henry & MVP. It made perfect sense for MVP to square off against his old nemesis, Kane, in the early going; while I've not maintained a running tally of wins & losses in their regard, I don't think I'd be off point by suggesting that Kane very likely leads in the Win column, thus giving MVP something to prove, and we can compound that particular brand of motivation considering the draft has concluded, MVP is still on Fridays and still wants his contract renegotiated, giving one the impression that he has something to prove to Vickie Guerrero, as well. So far so good. It even made sense for MVP to want to tag out to Henry when Show tagged in, Henry being the bigger man and MVP not having the experience (and thus, confidence) against Show as against Kane. Fine.

However, things started to slip when MVP tagged in Henry. Big Drippy was visibly annoyed when MVP tagged out (not that I blame him, really), but, once Show & Kane made the exchange and MVP tagged himself in, again, Henry appeared to be irritated, make up your mind, Gravy Boat, are you in or out?! THEN, the whole OEMVP has something to prove concept deflated completely when MVP, just as last week, bailed out of the ring, expecting Henry to finish the match solo. Seriously, if MVP takes his ball and tries to go
home when things don't go his way, Bret Hart's gonna sue him for gimmick infringement. Way to prove your worth to the GM, Montel. THEN, heel Henry pulls a FACE move by grabbing his teammate and shoves him back in the ring, effectively feeding him to the proverbial lions and costing his own team the match. WTF?! I get NONE of this.

The Ridiculous

Or, RRRRRRRRRRRRidiculous: Honestly, I'm bummed I didn't wollop that Justin Roberts when I had the chance. MUST he grrrrrrrowl EVERY R he pronounces?! Tony the Tiger had more rrrrrrrrrestraint!

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By: Larry Csonka

Raw 6.30.08

THE RIGHT:

JR SAYS GOODBYE/EGDE IS AN ASSHOLE/BATISTA GETS REVENGE/PUNK CASHES IN AND JEFF HARDY WAS THROWING SHIT AT MATT'S TV!: The beginning of Raw may have been the most newsworthy segment on the show in a long time. We were in Oklahoma and kicked off with Jim Ross's farewell speech to Monday Night Raw. JR was the most over man on the show as they were hanging on every thing he said. He said goodbye to Raw, thanked the fans, said he would miss Lawler and thanked him. JR asked that we not only follow him to Smackdown for his new journey, but that we support Michael Cole. That failed as they hated Cole, but JR tried.

This was great but it got even better as Edge and THOSE EDGE GUYS came to the ring, and everyone hated them with the fire of 1,000 suns and it would only get hotter out there. Edge was OFFENDED by JR's arrogance in having this farewell speech and told him that no one gave a shit about him, the King, Cole, or the Sooners. I also think he tossed in a BBQ/blog knock, outstanding. Edge proclaimed that JR can drop the Stone Cold calls and prepare to call HIS Hall of Fame career with the calls of EDGE WINS, EDGE WINS, EDGE WINS! To add to the heat, Edge had THOSE EDGE GUYS remove JR from the building.

And then it got even better as Edge wasn't just here to ruin JR's fun, but to FUCK with the Raw brand. He said that Smackdown was the real deal now, and that Raw was missing some things. A general manager perhaps, because Smackdown has the greatest general manager ever (and she's home recovering, thanks for asking.) Raw didn't have the Undertaker; hell the whole WWE is missing the Undertaker thanks to him. HEEL! And finally, Raw didn't have a World Champion. He then said FUCK YOU, NO ONE GETS A TITLE SHOT, I AM NEVER COMING BACK UNLESS IT IS A DRAFT SHOW, FUCK YOU AGAIN AND GOOD NIGHT! Edge was completely awesome here, and this was the first commercial tease.

As Edge made his way up the ramp BIG DAVE met him! And as we all know BIG DAVE DOES NOT APPROVE! He chased Edge to the ringside area, and proceeded to get revenge for Night of Champions by beating the piss out of him. He hit the big DAVE BOMB and Edge was down and out. This would be our second commercial tease as Big Dave was leaving the ring. Now apparently the entire Internet called that Punk was going to cash in on THIS particular Monday night. Just like they were calling it at Night of Champions and One Night Stand and so on and so forth. I didn't call shit, but I will say that when this went down all I could think was, "If they don't have Punk cash in right now he will look like the world's biggest idiot." But as we got that commercial tease, CM Punk music hit and he haled ass to the ring with his briefcase and a referee and was ready. His anticipation was great as he was about to shit his pants trying to get Lillian to make the announcement and make the ref signal for the bell. But they did, he hit the GTS and THAT was all and we had a NEW world champion. You've never seen a dude so happy to win a belt in your life either. Lawler's mocking call of "PUNK WINS, PUNK WINS, PUNK WINS" was great considering Edge's promo on JR earlier.

A lot of people are questioning the win. Punk is a face and won in a heel manner, but I look at it as comeuppance. This is how Edge won the title TWO times, and it is only right that he gets screwed in the same fashion. Also, it's the nature of the MITB deal, it's established so it works. Now sure I wish Punk would have been booked better over the last few months (Chuck Palumbo kicked his ass, come on!) but this was a cool deal as it wasn't expected, no matter how many people "called it." Follow up will be key as always, but they did something different after months of people saying that the show was stagnant. HUNTOR is gone, JR is gone, they have shaken things up with the young guys, they put the title on a guy most didn't think would win and it worked. Be careful what you ask for people, because you got it.

Finally, how pissed off with himself is Jeff Hardy. He was supposed to win the MITB, this COULD have been him and his moment. I can see him sitting there in Matt's house, throwing shit at the TV and wrecking the place. Someone's not getting their security deposit back.

JBL DEMANDS A TITLE SHOT: Later on Todd Grisham was backstage with CM Punk, who looked even happier than he was earlier when he won the title. He said things were awesome and that he was happy. It was then that JBL walked in and asked Punk if he was kidding, kidding because he beat an already beat man for a title. He essentially called him Barry Bonds, calling his an asterisk on the legacy of a title that was built by some of the industry's greatest. He wanted a title shot and Punk agreed, thusly puckering the assholes of the Internet as they feared for Punk and what they thought may end up being a two-hour title run. This worked well to prove that Punk would fight anyone and JBL is a great antagonist, I just don't want to see him wrestle.

CENA WANTS HIS SHOT/MARTIAL LAW BITCHES!: Following the JBL challenge John Cena hit the ring, and he had a challenge of his own. First he put over his match with HHH, and while he lost that it was a great match. He then put over Punk's win and stated that he was not impressed with JBL's challenge and polled the fans, who were on his side. JBL then appeared and stated that since he had a ton of money he was now in charge of Raw since Vince was gone, and he was declaring MARTIAL LAW. It was then that he brought out his own private security and they attacked Cena. They beat him down and JBL had his escorted from the building, since JBL just couldn't have Cena in the building for his title match later on. I thought this went well and was great set up for later in the evening.

PUNK VS. JBL: While not the greatest of matches, overall this worked out well I thought. JBL did what he does and that was to be a bully and dominate Punk with his brute strength. JBL had the full power play in effect a he had his security flanking him at ringside, and making it seem as if Punk had no chance. It was then that John Cena returned with CRYME TYME at his side. They rushed the ring, battled the security and this distracted JBL enough to allow Punk to hit the GTS and retain the title. Punk then would dive to the floor to help with the fight against the security guys and they all brawled as the show ended. The ending of Raw reinforced the fact that things were changing. Punk was the champion, JBL was the evil dictator to be, Cena was the superhero and Cryme Tyme were made players, for the week at least. We wanted change, we got it and Raw felt fresh. I have slight concerns as the crowd was chanting for Cena instead of Punk at points, but that was likely due to them expecting the triumphant return because of him being booted from the building and they wanted to see the odds evened. This could also serve for a Punk heel turn, ala Foley after WM 14 when the crowd chanted for Austin instead of he and Funk.

PURGATORY:

MICKIE VS. JILLIAN: We had some ladies action the week on Raw, Mickie James fresh from her title defense at the PPV would battle Jillian Hall's Jeans, which were spectacular. They had an ok match, it didn't quite get enough time and it was just going through the motions for the most part, which hurts it. The good news I thought was that Jillian worked the arm of Mickie, which was hurt at the PPV. I figure that this will be a constant for the next few weeks, softening up Mickie and allowing Katie Lea Burchill to take the title in their rematch when the resilient Mickie cannot continue.

WHEN REY MET SANTINO: In another initiation to Raw segment, we had Rey Mysterio come to the ring to cut a promo. Now I get the purpose of this, but come on, Rey is far from a promo guy. I tend to tune him out when he talks, which isn't a good thing. He discussed Punk's win and the fact that things are strange. He has always been on Smackdown and now he is on Raw. Santino came out and hilarity ensued. He called Rey Batman, bitched about Rey's WWE Magazine cover, showed his photo that he submitted and as you would imagine, Rey got the upper-hand, hit the 619 and everyone was happy. This is to keep Rey on TV since it appears as if he is not ready to be in the ring, which makes sense. It was pretty funny, and overall fine I suppose, but I could have left it.

CODY AND TED VS. THE JOBBERS: Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase made their Raw debut as a team this week after winning the tag titles at Night of Champions and promptly SLAYED some jobbers in short order. I liked this as it allowed them to look dominant and then led to the promo time that they got. Cody did a fine job explaining the whole deal, saying that he was the son of Dusty Rhodes and heard all about doing the right thing and paying dues. But all that got him was carrying Bob Holly around and saving his dead career. So he sought out Ted Dibiase because they were so alike, young, talented, dynamic and when you have those qualities, YOU DON'T PAY DUES! Ted Dibiase then explained that the people of their generation think they're rebellious because they upload a video on YouTube or shop at Hot Topic. But the people in this country under the age of 30 are actually sheep. THEY took matters into their own hands, and that makes them, priceless. I thought overall that this was a good segment. Cody shows signs of being a great promo guy down the line, he has the tools and mannerisms, but he needs time and the TV time to develop that. The scary thing is that they have almost no heat, which is due to them being new, the tag titles being dead and treated like shit and really, they beat u Bob Holly. I hope that the company doesn't get cold feet and allows them time to develop because I think the heat will come.

THE WRONG:

JERICHO VS. KOFI II: While Jericho's promo before the match was good, once again pointing out the fact that HBK was a liar, the rematch with Kofi was not good and did Kofi no favors. They went to commercial before the match began and when we came back we saw our champion getting his ass handed to him. This basically continued till the end when Jericho reversed a roll up and grabbed the tights. This got a DQ finish after only a few minutes. This came off all wrong I felt as it almost looked as if Jericho got screwed, plus the fact that Kofi basically just took as ass kicking with almost no fight. Jericho then kicked his ass after the match, and in my opinion Kofi looked like a bitch and this did him no favors to get his title run started.

KANE AND NOBLE: While I LOVE Jamie Noble's character and thought he was funny as hell here, this whole deal to me seemed useless. What it felt like is that they wanted to let you know that these guys were on Raw now, but also that Kane is BIG and Noble is SMALL and that big is always better. I still fear that Noble is screwed on Raw, and that's a shame for such a talented guy.

THE RIDICULOUS:

NADDA~!:

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By: Larry Csonka

ECW 7.01.08:

THE RIGHT:

FINLAY, HORNSWOGGLE AND MATT HARDY VS. THE MIZ, JOHN MORRISON AND CHAVO GUERRERO: To me this was the best part of the show. You essentially had rematches from the PPV placed into one match, and I am actually fine with that since we seem to be extending these programs. The crowds hate Miz and Morrison in the right way and they have become such a good team that when they ht the screen, I am happy because I know I will be entertained. Hardy is being treated like a big star on ECW, which is good news, they like Finlay because he kicks ass and they always pop for the midget's spots. They had a fun little 6-man match that I enjoyed simply for the fact that there were no fuck ups and everyone played their role very well. In the end Hornswoggle and Finlay ran wild on Chavo and Finlay pinned Chavo. Personally I would have had Chavo go over, because it gets him a much-needed win and he can still convincingly challenge for the US Title, but it's a small gripe. This was a fun opening match, good stuff.

PURGATORY:

MARK HENRY OPENS THE SHOW: Mark Henry kicked off ECW this week and proclaimed that he was the SAVIOR of ECW because he had brought the title back home to ECW. He beat the monster and the giant and he is the ECW Champion. This brought out Dreamer and Delaney, and Tommy Dreamer wanted a title shot. To me this is where things went downhill a bit. I have no problem with Dreamer challenging for a title in ECW. The fans like him enough and respond to him and even though he loses a lot, people will almost always buy him challenging for the ECW title because "He's that ECW guy." So Dreamer asks for a title shot, and Henry basically tells everyone that Dreamer is an old jobber who hasn't been relevant since 1998. Dreamer's part was also flawed. His idea was right as he tried to put over the ECW Title history. He explained, "Do you know who that is? That's Tazz, the human suplex machine, he broke his neck to win the ECW title…" And then he was spent. He might as well has said after that, "And there were other guys too!" They had the right idea, but the execution was flawed. In the end they set up Henry vs. Delaney, and if Delaney won the match, Dreamer would get his title shot. It was fine, but could have been way better.

MARK HENRY VS. COLIN DELANEY: This was the main event of the evening, and in reality it was exactly what it should have been, which was Henry KILLING Delaney. He did that and in short fashion. But I didn't like it as the main event. I wish that they would have just done it out of the first segment, and ran the 6-man as the main event, because they had good heat and it was a good extended match. I have no problem with booking Henry as a dominant champion, they should, but I don't want the main event every week being a 2-minute squash.

THE WRONG:

NADDA~!:

THE RIDICULOUS:

ATLAS ORTIZ VS. ARMANDO ESTRADA: You know, there is a lot of tendency to judge quickly on new talent, and I try to avoid that. But Atlas Ortiz is a someone I have seen a fair bit of as Atlas DaBone, and when I saw the man he was NOT good, actually, he was rather horrible. He is energetic and has charisma, but is wrestling was POOR at best. Steve Cook is someone else that has seen him and we were discussing him as he debuted and we BOTH hoped for vast improvement. It started out innocently as he was a random dude in Teddy's office when Armando appeared. The short of it was that Atlas was signed to a deal, Armando still had no deal and was OFFENDED by this. Teddy made a match and we were off. Now, the match was absolutely horrible. They were blowing the simplest of reversals and such, it was BAD, wrestling school flunking bad. But I will not just blame young Atlas. You see, who ever booked this entire thing is AN IDIOT. #1 you do NOT debut someone who is suspect in the ring with ARMANDO ESTRADA, who sucks a cock. #2 is that you do NOT give them that much time, because they obviously didn't know how to fill the time right. They were beyond basic wrestling school and didn't even pull that off well. #3 Armando has been beaten like a drum for WEEKS, losing in a minute or less. This kid needed OVER FIVE MINUTES and when he won, he won with a BACKSLIDE. And finally at #4, the backslide finish made no sense because Armando has just spent FOUR MINUTES working the arm of Atlas, so how could he hold him down for the backslide? This was NOT a good debut overall, he got a smattering of chants, was energized, but THE BOOKING failed this kid and never gave him a chance.

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And I'm out of here!