The Wrestling Bard 7.05.08: The Mid-Year Awards – Part 2

Welcome to the Wrestling Bard. This is my third try to get this up as my internet has been screwing with me. I hope everyone had a better Fourth of July than me, whether you celebrate Independance Day or not. Remember, out days are numbered, and all of them are worth the fireworks.

Quick Notes
— I retract one thing from last week’s column, that being giving CM Punk fifth-place on the Underacheiver of the Year award. Two days after I posted that column, Mr. Punk became the World Heavyweight Champion. Congratulations are in order, this lucky kid got to acheive his dream. That’s awesome for him.

— Larry Csonka apparantly got a lot of heat for an essay that was less than kind to Bret Hart. Larry really should know better than to insult the legacy of the Himan. It’s not like he hasn’t seen other columnists get record amounts of heat for saying that Hart isn’t “the best there ever will be”. First commandmant of the IWC: Thou shalt not use the name of the lord Bret Hart in vain. So Larry should bow down to his pink and black feet, or else Bret might put him in the Scorpian Deathlock. Worse yet, he may bore him to death with a promo. Or maybe he’ll take the time he’s supposed to spend HONORING HIS FATHER to voice a personal vendetta against Csonka. You know, I don’t have a problem with what Bret said. If he doesn’t like some guy and wants to say it, I’m cool with it. But he should do it on HIS time, NOT when he’s inducting his father into a hall of fame. Bret should be ashamed of himself, but he won’t be. Whatever.

— And as promised, 50 BAZILLION points to commenter Justin , who got my Chopper-Face reference. Looks like I’m not the only fan of Transformers: Beast Wars. If you like Transformers, I can’t recommend the show enough, the whole series is uploaded on YouTube. And since I’m so nice, here’s a little preview of the brilliance of Beast Wars, courtesy of Waspinator.

Aw, good times. Let’s get to the awards.

Best Babyface
I know it’s markish to celebrate the “heroes” in wrestling, but being a babyface is a very difficult task, because good guys tend to be bland characters. This will be a kayfabe award of who has been the most honorable character who has overcome adversity, while also delivering in the ring.

Honorable Mentions: John Cena, Ric Flair, Ken Kennedy, Christian Cage, The Motor City Machine Guns

5) AJ Styles
AJ Styles is an interesting case because he spent most of the year as a heel, but Russo managed to successfully make him a sympathetic tweener. He was still cocky and arrogant in the ring and wrestled as a heel, but his conflict over whether to pick Christian Cage or Kurt Angle and his sympathy for Karen Angle were honorable traits. Once Angle betrayed him outright, AJ returned to the babyface role, and people are really behind him. AJ deserves credit for seeing the light and becoming a good guy, but his heel work keeps him on the low-end of the awards.

4) Samoa Joe
Samoa Joe is the top face in TNA. In many ways, he is THE face of TNA. He has found his direction after losing focus in 2007 and has channeled his anger and his talent to finally achieve the success he so richly deserves. Admittedly, Joe isn’t the nicest guy in the ring, as his intensely physical style is less than kind to his opponents, but he acts with respect and it’s nice to see. Joe accomplished a goal that some thought was too late to matter, but when he beat Kurt Angle at the end of Lockdown, it was sweet as could possibly be. With Flair’s farewell being somewhat sad, Joe’s big title win is probably the “feel-good” moment of the year. Because he is one of the best wrestlers on the planet and accomplished his goal, Joe is acknowledged by the Wrestling Bard.

3) Austin Aries
Austin Aries is one of the best wrestlers in the world and one of the most over people in ROH. Although he is something of a tweener, with Nigel’s full-on heel character have made him one of two top babyfaces in ROH. But Aries beats Bryan Danielson on this list because of two thing: 1) He’s infinitely more charismatic and marketable to the marks than the American Dragon, and 2) his storyline with Jimmy Jacobs. Nobody in the wrestling world has gone through more temptation to turn to the dark side this year than Aries, and he almost fell, but he didn’t. He overcame the temptation of a man who basically played Satan by offering Aries power, but Aries refused to listen to Jacobs and came out still a good guy. The true measure of a man’s character is how he reacts to temptation, and Aries showed that he has a TON of character.

2) Jeff Hardy
Man. Jeff Hardy sure came out of nowhere, didn’t he? For the first three months, there may not have been a more over guy in the world than Jeff Hardy, and the scary thing is, he was over because he was a) the goody-two-shoes babyface, b) the small underdog “David” type babyface, and c) being the insane daredevil spot-monkey babyface. Jeff’s ability to play all of these roles at once and make a character unique to himself is definitely an accomplishment. I would be hard-pressed to argue with Jeff being the babyface of the year, but a lack of promo ability and a 60-day suspension are working against the rainbow-haired warrior. Regardless, Jeff has connected with the audience in a way that very few have, and he’s still riding a huge wave of momentum.

1) The Undertaker
The Undertaker was the most unquestioned babyface going into Wrestlemania. The popularity of Triple H and John Cena was questionable at best. Triple H has always been a fairly heelish and rebel babyface, kind of an anti-hero, while the appreciation of John Cena’s babyface character is, to be polite, “lacking somewhat”. But everyone was behind the Undertaker. His feud with Edge has been the best example of a “good guy-bad guy” feud. Edge was wicked, and with Taker being the guardian angel of the WWE (as I talked about in my second column back in April), he punished the wicked by taking his world title at Wrestlemania. But after ‘Mania, Taker has been through so much adversity it’s downright scary. Edge and Vickie Guerrero have screwed with Taker at every point possible, and eventually had him “banished”. With Undertaker being babyface all year, not getting suspended, accomplishing his goals, fighting ridiculous odds, and delivering in the ring, the Undertaker is recognized as the best babyface in wrestling in 2008.

Best Heel
Villains in wrestling are a varied bunch. Some are cowards, some are monsters, some are manipulators and some are lone wolves. But the heels are all, for one reason or another, unworthy of our adulation. So here, we recognize those wrestlers who are so despicable that we love to hate them. Like the Best Babyface segment, this is largely in kayfabe.

Dishonorable mentions: Jimmy Jacobs, Tomko, Chris Jericho, MVP

5) Kurt Angle
Kurt Angle is an Olympic Gold Medalist and one of the best pure wrestlers in the world. Unfortunately, he can’t help but to constantly remind us of that fact. This year, Angle went to an old trick of building a stable of stars to help his cause, stealing AJ Styles and Tomko from his then rival Christian Cage. He had a strangle hold on the title that lasted nearly a year before losing it to Samoa Joe. He also proved to be completely self-absorbed and has even verbally abused his wife Karen. But no act was as despicable as putting a hit on his wife. If it weren’t for his rather goofy antics and the preposterous nature of his actions, he would be higher on the list.

4) Shawn Michaels
It has been said by some that the greatest lie the Devil ever successfully told was the lie that he didn’t exist. And that is exactly what the Heartbreak Kid has done this year. Michaels has done a great job in the last few years of convincing us that he can do no wrong, that he is the ultimate good guy. Oh sure, there was that little Hogan Incident, but the Hulkster had it coming. But this year, HBK has done more than brief flirtation with the dark side. He was disrespectful to Ric Flair at times in the build-up to their Wrestlemania Match and served the heel role in matches with Jeff Hardy and Batista. But the most despicable of his actions was lying about an injury to cowardly defeat Batista. He has been a liar and a backstabber for most of the year, and the sad part is, he still has the support of the masses. For a man who has done nothing in recent months to deserve the accolades we get him, Shawn is one of the most over babyfaces, a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

3) Randy Orton
Unlike the Showstopper, the Legend Killer makes no attempt to mask the fact that he is a despicable human being. He’s arrogant as they come, and makes the most out of every opportunity he gets, no matter how dishonorable it is to take advantage of them. But the most amazing thing about Randy is that he is no coward. He can seem cowardly at times, but it often just intelligence and mind games to lure his foes into a false sense of security. Orton likes to fight, because he is a cold-blooded sadist who delights in torturing his foes and picking them apart systematically. His eyes are filled with focused anger and calculated spite. He might not have any friends, but the master of the RKO has certainly found success this year.

2) Nigel McGuiness
Speaking of arrogant, selfish sadists, this man fits the bell quite nicely. Nigel is cocky, manipulative, intelligent, and very effective at keeping the ROH World Title around his waist. He is in many ways similar to Orton, except for one major difference. While the Legend Killer delights in his wickedness, McGuiness blames his actions on the fans, who, admittedly, unfairly started to boo him after an untimely injury kept him from major title defenses. The Brit believes he is justified, and there is no better villain than one who believes he is right, no matter how messed up his logic may be. Why is McGuiness a better heel than Orton? Because Randy focuses his anger and delights in the boos, while Nigel HATES them. Sometimes he takes out his anger on his opponent, but he is just as likely to take it out on the fans. Nigel can work a crowd into a near riot as they take turns mocking each other throughout every McGuiness appearance.

1) Edge and Vickie Guerrero
But while Nigel may be able to make a crowd riot before the end of a match, these two nearly cause a riot merely by stepping into the arena. Vickie in particular may be the most hated individual in the wrestling world, as she receives the loudest boos no matter what she does. Edge has the respect of the crowd because of his in-ring ability, but does nothing to endear himself to the masses. Mick Foley has said that Edge prides himself on having no redeeming qualities, and that is certainly true for the World Champion. If I can quote Michael Cole, the “master manipulator” and “Machiavellian-like” “Ultimate Opportunist” is the most despicable heel in all of wrestling, and his fiancé has added a whole new level of hatred from the WWE fans.

Match of the Year
Of course I would be remiss if I did not award the great matches we have seen this year. Despite all of the negativity that constantly flies around, we tend to forget that there have been great matches. Now, I’m only going to mention matches THAT I HAVE SEEN, so if your favorite TNA or non-PPV ROH match isn’t on the list, I apologize.

Honorable Mentions: Kurt Angle vs. Christian Cage (Against All Odds), RAW Elimination Chamber (No Way Out), The Royal Rumble Match (Royal Rumble), Mitsuharu Misawa vs. Takeshi Morishima (NOAH), The Undertaker vs. Edge (One Night Stand), Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton (Royal Rumble), Team Cage vs. Team Tomko (Lockdown), Shawn Michaels vs. Batista (One Night Stand), Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho (Judgment Day), Randy Orton vs. Triple H vs. John Cena (Wrestlemania XXIV)

10) Bryan Danielson vs. Austin Aries, Take No Prisoners
If you like clean action, brilliant psychology and all around wrestling genius, this is the match for you. The match focused on Danielson working over Aries arm and the two men countering each other’s signature moves due to them being former rivals and tag team partners. These two men tore into each other with stiff strikes, stretched each other with impressive submissions, and countered each others counters in magnificent fashion. If you are a wrestling purist, this could very well top your list. For me, the match lacked an “it” factor to make it a classic, but it’s a great freaking match, but when you have, in my opinion, the two best workers in the world facing each other, I don’t think it’s possible for the match to suck.

9) Money in the Bank Match, Wrestlemania XXIV
Going into the match, everyone thought that it was a given that Jeff Hardy would walk away the winner, but he got caught by wellness and was taken out of the match. This instantly made the match more unpredictable, and with seven men as talented as Chris Jericho, Ken Kennedy, MVP, John Morrison, CM Punk, Shelton Benjamin, and Carlito, the match couldn’t be bad. This ended up being “spotastically bumptabulous” (TM Arnold Furious), and was the best MITB since the original. Everyone has their favorite moment from this match in here. Off the top of my head, Morrison’s ladder-sault, the Ladder of Doom, Shelton’s suicide, the double springboards, Matt Hardy’s Twist of Fate, the funky ladder set-up, and of course, CM Punk’s glorious victory all added to one of the most entertaining matches of the year.

8) Randy Orton vs. Triple H Steel Cage Match, Judgment Day
And so we go from a new-school Klusterfunkk (plug) of a match to an old-school cage match. A lot of people were down on this, but I dig old school stuff. It might be because I’m a Triple H mark, or because I’m a mark for cage matches, or that I really like Randy Orton recently, but I LOVE this match. This match made me Randy Orton fan in one night. Little things like how he worked the Garvin Stomps and how he set up the attempted RKO on the steel chair made me love his character. He’s like the evil Triple H to the tenth degree. This match used the cage effectively and told a great story, as Orton’s goals shifted as the match went along, as at first he wanted to torture the Game but later just wanted to escape the match. I won’t pretend the match doesn’t have flaws, as there are a few dead spots and the lack of blood was kind of disappointing. But Orton put his best performance to date here, and all Triple H had to do was show up and do his stuff to get a great match. Full recommendation from the Wrestling Bard on this one.

7) The Undertaker vs. Edge, Backlash
I said initially that I thought this match was better than the one at Wrestlemania because of the tighter psychology and faster pace, but I see now that they traded some things for others, as this one has a bunch of interference and much less epic feel. Ultimately, I feel that the two matches are interchangeable, and which one is the best is up to personal preference. This match had Edge brilliantly working the back, the classic Undertaker stuff at the beginning, some good counters, and finished with smartly done interference from the Rated R-My. Psychologically, this was the better match, but when it comes to excitement and emotion, it falls a bit short of its predecessor. The pre-match “I’m going to hurt you,” from Taker and then the follow-through with him punishing Edge in the “MYSTERIOUS submission hold” was a nice bit of plot advancement.

6) Austin Aries vs. Roderick Strong, Undeniable
Yes, I KNOW technically this took place in 2007, but the masses didn’t see it until January, so that’s where I’m including it. This was a grudge match that ended a rivalry that lasted for most of 2007, as the two biggest star of the Generation Next stable wanted to know who was the best. Both men gave a huge amount of effort here and wrestled a brilliant match. I wasn’t too fond of the table stuff, as it was a hardcore element in what WAS a wrestling match, but I understood why it was there. And the finish of the 450° KNEES left a bad taste in my mouth, because I HATE botched endings with a passion. But aside from those two problems, this match is amazing. You want to see how to have a blow-off match for a competitive rivalry? Here’s the blueprint, watch and learn my friends.

5) Edge vs. The Undertaker, Wrestlemania XXIV
I pretty much dissected this match as much as humanly possible in my Wrestlemania Retrospect column a month ago. The match has a few flaws (mostly bad move choices from Edge, who seemed to be suffering from stage fright) and a slow middle portion, but it was ultimately very, very good. The story was all about counters, as Edge had counters for everything Taker had in his arsenal, except for the Gogoplata, which was applied when the Deadman countered a spear from Edge. Undertaker threw out everything in his arsenal in this match, and Edge seemed to be on a roll with awesome counter after awesome counter. They even referenced the Survivor Series Hell in a Cell when Edge used a camera. The match wasn’t perfect, but the storytelling was so fantastic that it overcomes some minor flaws.

4) Tyler Black vs. Nigel McGuiness, Take No Prisoners
I said earlier than Strong vs. Aries was the blueprint of how to end a competitive rivalry. Well, ROH does it again, providing the blueprint for how to make a star in one match. While I have not yet seen Black’s match with Bryan Danielson, this match did more than enough to convince me that Tyler was a star. The crowd was HOT the whole time, popping for literally every offensive move that Black got and cheering louder every time he kicked out of Nigel McGuiness move. Tyler kicked out of every big move in Nigel’s arsenal, including the Jawbreaker Lariat, in one of those “WTF?” moments where you realize that ROH is REALLY behind Black. Eventually, the ROH Champ retained via the London Dungeon, but his opponent came out smelling like two dozen roses. It will be pretty high on the list of MOTY candidates at the end of the year.

3) Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe, Lockdown
TNA is notorious for having multiple run-ins, screwy endings and swerves in their main events. Almost NEVER was there a match for the world title that didn’t have excessive booking. But this all changed right here, at least for one night. Joe and Angle worked a brilliant match, although if you are not an MMA fan you will probably think less of it. What is probably the best part is that they didn’t work a lot of their signature stuff in. There were no trademark combos and now fancy counters. The match was grounded and simple, and believable. They worked the strikes, they worked the submission holds, Joe used the cage once and hit the Muscle Buster for a win. Joe’s title win was a sweet, sweet for fans of professional wrestling, and that adds to the match as well. This is what TNA can be: the action was unique, it was clean, and had a decisive finish. That’s how you become an alternative to the sports entertainment company: have something different.

2) Nigel McGuiness vs. Austin Aries, Rising Above
If you take out some of the circumstances of my #1 choice, and judge these two based solely on the in-ring action, this is the better match. I was completely blown away by this match. Both of these men fought for the win like their lives depended on it. This is how everyone should fight for the world championship, with 150% effort and passion. It’s matches like these that make me love professional wrestling, because you can FEEL the passion of athletes. Nigel spent a little two much time talking to the fans for this to become an all-time classic, but once Aries hit him with the Heat Seeking Missile that sent McGuiness head-first into the guard rail and giving him a NASTY gash and a likely concussion, this match became flat-out awesome. Some intangibles keep this from being perfect, but it is an amazing match that you have to see to believe.

1) Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels, Wrestlemania XXIV
*Waits for the hate-mail saying the match is only ***1/2 and the emotion means nothing.* Let me say this: unless you HATE Ric Flair, there is NO reason for you to dislike this match, and under NO circumstances is it okay to question other’s ratings. WAY TOO MUCH emphasis is put on the all-mighty star ratings these days. It’s a subjective thing, not concrete, and I give stars on things a lot of people overlook. I like to see the fire in the eyes, the passion of wrestlers. If I can look at a wrestler’s face and know the story of the match, I love the match. For ME, this is the finest match I’ve seen in years. I’ve addressed this match in my Wrestlemania Retrospect, and I stand by everything I said then. Brilliant storytelling that made me mark out throughout the whole match and brought a tear to my eye. For those who say “put aside your emotions”, I say you just don’t get it. Wrestling is around for these moments, and if you can’t enjoy the emotion of the event, you are really missing the point. This match has, in my opinion, the two best wrestlers ever wrestling on the biggest stage of them all, with a 59-year old man wrestling like a man in his 30’s, giving everything he has one last time, and has the story of the old guy giving everything he has and realizing he can’t hack it anymore, because he’s no longer in the league that HBK is. Ric said before the match that if he couldn’t compete with the best, he didn’t want his career to continue, and ultimately, that’s how the story ended. Flair couldn’t compete, and he asked for the end, and HBK overcame the emotion and the hesitation to do the right thing. Let me state my opinion. The match by itself, from bell-to-bell, is *****. Not the greatest match ever, but it’s worthy of the full monty. If you add in the emotion of it being Ric Flair’s last match, this is one of the greatest matches of all time.

Superstar of the Year
This is another of those “kayfabe” awards that is based on who has been the most successful wrestler in the last six months. Great matches help here, but they take a back seat to championships, goal acheivements, and value to the companies they represent.

10) Kane
Kane has been an institution in the WWE for over a decade now, but he has rarely been rewarded for his loyal service. That all changed this year when he defeated Chavo Guerrero at Wrestlemania XXIV. He broke King Kong Bundy’s record for quickest ‘Mania victory and picked up his first major singles title since he won the Intercontinental Championship in 2002. And so far, he has had a pretty solid run, feuding with Chavo, the Miz & Morrison, and recently, the Big Show and Mark Henry. He got to be the top star on a brand, and even though it was ECW, it’s still an accomplishment for a man who is often overlooked as anything other than a monster.

9) Austin Aries
Much like Kane has been the face of ECW this year, the face of Ring of Honor has been Aries. I’ve already gone into detail about how good of wrestler and a babyface Aries is, but now I want to paint a picture for you. Aries is a hard worker with a ton of charisma and he gives his full effort to everything. He will be as big a star as the company he works for will let him be. When he was Austin Starr in TNA, he was arguably the biggest star in the X Division. Aries took a monetary risk to go perform in ROH, and they have rewarded him well for it. Let’s face it: Austin is the most marketable guy the company has. He is a phenomenal wrestler that has the charisma that his rival Bryan Danielson has. The only reason is down this low is that he has failed to capture any gold this year, but they may change before the year is out.

8) Takeshi Morishima
I watched Morishima beat Misawa just before I started writing this article, and I have to say that the match seemed like a passing of the torch. It was Misawa passing it on, much like Jumbo Tsuruta did for him in the early 1990’s, except that Tsuruta got better with age. Regardless, Morishima is now the most recognizable Japanese wrestler. He’s the GHC Champion and a huge star in ROH. Even Vince has expressed interest in Takeshi. Shima is a fantastic big man in the same line as Bam Bam Bigelow and Vader. With him now reigning atop the NOAH promotion, I wanted to pay tribute to Japan’s biggest star.

7) Kurt Angle
They don’t call it Total Nonstop Angle for nothing. Kurt is the big fish in the small pond of TNA. He is a nationally recognized athlete and one of the best wrestlers in the world. His matches and promos dominate TNA programming more than Triple H ever dominated RAW. Angle is the most heavily pushed guy in TNA, but who can blame them? He’s the biggest star they have, and he can have a good match with anyone. But as Kurt’s health continues to deteriorate, he may have to hang up the boots. If that’s the case, it’s time to suck up to Vince and have his career acknowledged by the company that made him a huge star in the first place. Jim Ross has said that Kurt Angle is a surefire Hall of Famer, and I’d hate to have Kurt prove J.R. wrong.

6) Randy Orton
Randy Orton had greatness thrown at him. John Cena was injured. Triple H was too busy feuding with Vince McMahon. So Orton was able to capture the WWE title. And unlike his World Championship reign, this one would be a glorious seven month reign of terror. Orton defended against all comers, and by hook or by crook, succeeded in keeping the title around his waist. He even proved the naysayers wrong by walking out of his Wrestlemania match with Cena and Helmsley still the Champion. Even after he lost the belt to Triple H, he stayed in the picture as the Game’s top rival. Orton had a breakout year in 2007, and his momentum has continued into 2008.

5) The Undertaker
Undertaker has kept rolling by. He had great matches, went to 16-0 at Wrestlemania, won the world title and had a high profile feud with Edge. Pretty much all that can be said about Taker has been said in these two columns, so suffice it to say that nobody was more dominant in the first half of 2008 than the Undertaker.

4) Samoa Joe
It was Samoa Joe’s year. He finally got the TNA World Championship and cemented himself as TNA’s top star. It’s about time. Joe is a fantastic worker with a unique look and style that is distinctly non-WWE, and is TNA’s second “homegrown” talent to hold the belt, the other being AJ Styles, so he’s in good company. Whether Joe’s reign will be a glorious one or a fluke is uncertain, but he finally accomplished his goal and that should be recognized.

3) Edge
Edge is the top heel in the industry, and one of WWE’s most marketable stars. He came into 2008 the World Heavyweight Champion due to playing politics with Vickie Guerrero. He survived the threat of Rey Mysterio on two occasions, only to fall to the Undertaker at Wrestlemania. But he was able to do what so few have. He bounced back from the loss and was able to regain the World Championship, albeit through questionable means. Edge has been SmackDown!’s most successful superstar, and despite his heel status, he still sells a ton of merchandise.

2) Nigel McGuiness
The ROH World Championship is the only major title in America that has not changed hands in 2008. That should tell you how successful Nigel McGuiness has been this year. He’s defended his title against all comers, from main event level talent like Danielson, Aries, KENTA, and Roderick Strong, to mid-carders like Chris Hero, Claudio Castagnoli, Kevin Steen and Jay Briscoe, and against young up and comers like Erick Stevens and Tyler Black. He’s had fourteen successful defenses this year, defended the belt from Tokyo, Japan to Dublin, Ireland. He may be hated by every fan in the audience, but you can’t argue with results.

1) Triple H
I really, really don’t want to give Triple H this spot. Helmsley mark though I may be, I want to give this award to one of the previous two. But Edge has lost several high-profile matches and Nigel is not on RAW, and both men are heels. Hunter is the main-event level talent that has had the most success this year. He was the last man eliminated in the Royal Rumble, losing to John Cena. But he rebounded by beating Michaels, Jericho, Umaga, JBL and Jeff Hardy in the main event of No Way Out. Though unsuccessful at Wrestlemania, he would capture his twelfth world title at Backlash, defeating Randy Orton in decisive fashion. He would follow up by beating Orton again at Judgment Day in a fantastic cage match and then again at One Night Stand. Then he beat John Cena at Night of Champions, further cementing that he has been the top player in the wrestling world in 2008. Will that change by the end of the year? Maybe, but for now, the King of Kings is still on his throne.

That was fun, but I’m exhausted. But I have one more award to give.

Look Back at Legends

“The Nature Boy” Ric Flair

And with 2008 marking the end of the greatest career in professional wrestling, the Wrestling Bard takes time to pay tribute to Ric Flair as sort of the “life time achievement award” for 2008. Ric Flair was one of the most influential wrestlers of any generation. Virtually everyone that has stepped foot in a wrestling ring in the last fifteen years has mimicked Ric Flair, borrowing or even blatantly stealing from the Nature Boy. He was the greatest heel in wrestling history, and was part of some of the most legendary rivalries the business has ever seen. His classic feuds with Dusty Rhodes, Harley Race, Barry Windham, Sting, Lex Luger, Ricky Steamboat, Terry Funk, Randy Savage, and Triple H are the stuff of legend. He is so iconic among wrestling fans that whenever someone, ANYONE, delivers a knife-edge chop, the crowd erupts with his signature “WOO!”

Ric is, in my opinion, the greatest wrestler ever. There have been wrestlers that looked better cosmetically. There were a select few that were better than him on the mic. And there were wrestlers that were better in-ring performers than him. But nobody has been as good at everything for the length of time that Flair has been. Ric was one of the most passionate wrestlers ever, giving his all every single time. When it’s all said and done, Flair probably won’t top wrestlers like Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels in the “best workers of all time” category, but he without a doubt will take “best heel” and will likely take “best on the mic”. The Nature Boy captured the imagination of wrestling fans for over three decades, and is the most decorated champion in history. He was the last bridge between the old-school of Lou Thesz and Buddy Rogers and the new school of The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin. His career twilight was as memorable a run as any, and he went out like he lived: stylin’, profilin’, and walking that isle as The Man. The limousine ridin’, jet flyin’, kiss stealin’, wheelin’ dealin’ son of a gun will never be forgotten, because diamonds are forever, and so is the Nature Boy.

“Woo!”

A Personal Message (In white text.)
I haven’t responded to the comments in three weeks. It’s been really good for my stress level. I have read some of them, which have been decidedly more positive than normal. I’ve even had a few people tell that my columns on John Cena and Chris Benoit were the best they have read in a long time. Well, they aren’t reading enough then, but I appreciate the sentiment. I would like to thank every person that has read my column and commented on it, whatever it was. The fact that people are reading is good enough for me, whether they read because they like my writing or because they hate it, at least they are reading. I have noticed that nobody who e-mailed me was a jerk ( Chopper is tough on me, but he seems to have a genuine interest in my improved tact, so I’m not going to complain). That’s interesting. I’d just like to say, constructive criticism and advice is welcome here, I appreciate it. It’s the people that insult me and tell that I suck and say I should be better without giving me any suggestions on HOW to get better that have annoyed me. This is just me telling my supporters that I’ve found a lot of clarity in recent weeks, and have been enjoying wrestling and life in general more since I stopped paying so much attention to the comments. Thanks for putting up with it. I hope you continue to be entertained. color=white>

The Dream Match Returns
While scanning the comments section, I saw that someone asked if I could possible make a New Jack vs. Abdullah the Butcher on my Dream Card (coming to you next week). I have never seen a match that I’ve thought was going to be so bad but would still be perversely entertaining. I took it as a personal challenge to see if I could make a passable match out of it, and here’s the best effort I got. I hope you enjoy. WARNING!: Due to the lack of actual wrestling talent in this match, this will have a LOT of sick stuff in it.

Empty Arena Match, No Disqualification, Falls Count Anywhere: Abdullah the Butcher vs. New Jack
Jack pulls off a turnbuckle pad and Abby does the same on his side. They stare each other down and Jack hits a low blow and a series of punches, tries to whip Abby but Abby is a brick wall and he does the whip instead and hits a back body drop. Abby hits a series of chops and a clothesline and a jumping headbutt for 2. Abby goes to the floor and grabs a chair but Jack baseball slides the chair into Abby and Abby hits the guard rail. Jack slams Abby into the steel guardrail and rakes his face across the rail and Abby is bleeding. Jack goes for a suplex on the floor but Abby is too big and he hits the suplex instead. Abby goes to the apron and hits a diving double foot stomp on Jack for 2. He rolls Jack inside and throws the chair in. Abby goes to the apron, but Jack stuns him off the top rope and then dropkicks him into the guard rail. Jack goes to the apron with the chair, 187 CHAIR DROP! Jack covers but he only gets 2. He rolls Abby into the ring and heads up top, and hits a flying chair shot but Abby stays up and Jack runs into a Bossman slam. Abby goes for the Sudanese Meat Cleaver but misses and Jack drops the chair onto Abby and hits a legdrop onto the chair for 2. Jack goes up top and hits a diving headbutt but only gets 2. Jack throws rights at Abby but Abby counters with throat thrusts and then a side kick. Abby picks Jack up his shoulders and works a Canadian Backbreaker and drops Jack onto the exposed turnbuckle on his ribs. Abby hits an avalanche and then hits a big splash but it only gets 2. Abby tosses Jack to the outside and clotheslines him over the guard rail and they brawl through the chairs and Jack slams a chair onto the face of Abby, but Abby hits a Judo Throw into a set of bleachers. Abby sets Jack up on the bleachers and hits the butt ram. Abby grabs a chair and slams it on Jack and Jack is bloody. Abby picks Jack up, PILEDRIVER ON THE BLEACHERS! He tries to cover but Jack slips of the bleachers to avoid a cover. Abby picks up Jack but Jack hits a low blow. Jack grabs a fire extinguisher and blasts Abby with it before hitting a series of chair shots and Abby FALLS OFF THE BLEACHERS THROUGH TWO TABLES! 187 OFF THE BLEACHERS! Jack covers, but it only gets 2! Jack goes for the Death Valley Driver but he can’t get it, and Abby fights with a series of bionic elbows and a scoop slam on the floor. Abby sets up a table but Jack hits him with a lead pipe. Abby lays on the table and Jack climbs up to an elevated surface, SUICIDE SPLASH FROM JACK MISSES! Abby grabs a fork from his boot and he drills Jack with and digs at him with the fork! SICK! Abby tries to whip Jack but Jack reverses and Abby hits the bleachers! Jack digs at Abby with the fork as a receipt and that is SICK! Abby goes back into the ring and Jack follows and he goes for a flying chair shot but Abby kicks the chair into his face. Abby climbs the turnbuckles but Jack grabs him, DEATH VALLEY DRIVER TO ABBY! 1…2…NO! Jack goes outside and he has a bag of thumb tacks! He pours them out in the ring and tries to slam Abby but no luck and Abby bites at Jack, and hits a Samoan Drop. Abby covers but it only gets 2. Abby goes outside and grabs a wooden chair and SMASHES IT OVER JACK’S FACE! Abby grabs a chair leg and he stabs at Jack’s face with it! SICK! SCOOP SLAM INTO THE TACKS! Abby goes for the Meat Cleaver, Jack moves and Abby EATS THE TACKS! Jack covers but it only gets 2. Jack grabs the chair leg but ABBY HITS HIM WITH A FIREBALL! Abby hits the ropes, SUDANESE MEAT CLEAVER AND ABBY PINS JACK!

REMEMBER TO E-MAIL ME ANY DREAM MATCHES THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE! ALREADY ON THE CARD: CHRIS JERICHO VS. CHRIS HERO, SAMOA JOE VS. TOSHIAKI KAWADA, A LADDER WAR FEATURING E&C, THE HARDYS, THE BRISCOES AND STEEN & GENERICO, BRYAN DANIELSON VS. DEAN MALENKO, AND BRET HART VS. EDDIE GUERRERO!

“Inferno blow-up, Waspinator salvage. Waspinator blow up, NOBODY SALVAGE! Why universe hate Waspinator?”