411’s Instant Access 07.20.08: WWE Great American Bash 2008

Posted by Scott Slimmer on 07.20.2008

Slimmer, Small, and Lansdell watch as two championships change hands, bizarre finishes abound, JBL once again tries to murder John Cena, and Shawn Michaels' career may have come to an end…

Hey kids, I'm Scott, and this is 411's Instant Access: WWE Great American Bash 2008. Instant Access is a new experiment here at 411 Wrestling that will feature immediate reaction to wrestling pay-per-views. The focus here is going to be on first thoughts and snap judgments instead of play-by-play with the goal of providing you with instant access to one two THREE writers' thoughts on the show. That's right, Instant Access will now feature multiple analysts for all WWE pay-per-views. Here's the team for the Great American Bash:

• Scott Slimmer, author of Don't Think Twice.
• Jeff Small, author of the Thursday Small-For-All News Report.
• Chris Lansdell, author of Lansdell's Sunday Brunch News Report.

And a very special thanks to Sat, one half of the High Road / Low Road team, for coming through with a great graphic for the United States Championship Match.

Okay kids, enough with the explanations. Let's get to the wrestling.

Fatal Four-Way Match for the WWE Tag Team Championships
John Morrison & The Miz (Champions) vs. Curt Hawkins & Zach Ryder vs. Finlay & Hornswoggle vs. Jesse & Festus
Match Result: Curt Hawkins defeats Jesse by pulling him off the top rope and pinning him.
Match Length: 9:04
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: Normally I'd be happy to see a tag team match get nine minutes on pay-per-view, but a match with eight men really needs more time than that. However, it was smart to have Finlay dominate the action for much of the match, and any time Hornswoggle was in the ring was a ton of fun. Besides the lack of time given to this match, the other problem was how anti-climactic the finish felt. Of course, Hawkins & Ryder are Edge's protégés, so maybe it was only fitting for them to win in such cheap fashion. It'll be interesting to see where Hawkins & Ryder go from here, especially given the seemingly imminent demise of La Familia. Will they stick with Edge, or will they strike out on their own now that they're wearing the gold?
Small: Good opener. The match showcased six wrestlers that the fans respond to and Hawkings and Ryder. Of course, leave it to the WWE to give the heatless team the titles but if it had to be done, I'm glad it happened in a multi-man match. While the Miz and the Morrison were unable to show off their magic due to the multi-man format, Jesse and Festus both shined in. Throw in the fact that the crowd was hot (yay Long Island) and we are off to a good start.
Lansdell: Fun little opener. Seemed to get enough time to tell a decent story and we got to see plenty of stuff that we don't normally get a chance to see, like extended offence from Jesse. The Rmy as champs was really only a matter of time, and not having Miz and Morrison job was fine by me. It's not an easy match to rate, as having 8 men in there almost guaranteed someone was going to get shorted. Fortunately, it was Hornswaggle. See what I did there?
Match Rating:
Slimmer: **¼
Small: **½
Lansdell: **½
Average Match Rating: **½

Graphic by Sat

United States Championship Match
Matt Hardy (Champion) vs. Shelton Benjamin
Match Result: Shelton Benjamin defeats Matt Hardy with the Paydirt.
Match Length: 10:36
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: I was really excited when I found out that Shelton Benjamin would once again be wrestling on pay-per-views, but I was also worried that he'd once again try too many high-risk maneuvers and botch more than a few of them. However, Shelton proved me wrong and stuck to a much more mat-based style than I expected, and I think he looked better because of it. Shelton's on Smackdown and he's holdin' gold, so it looks like he's got everything going for him. But will he be able to elevate his mic work to the level required of a champion? And while Shelton is rockin' the belt on Friday nights, what's to become of Matt Hardy on ECW?
Small: Another shocking ending to a title match. It's funny how this match and the opener were only made a few days ago and both had title changes. Sadly, the match itself was pretty pedestrian until the last few minutes. While Shelton did not botch anything, the restholds early on almost lulled the crowd to sleep. Thankfully, Hardy's comeback and the resulting hot nearfalls helped stepped things up and brought the crowd back. Hopefully, this match is the start of a program between the two men since I think there's a better match in both men.
Lansdell: This was a heck of a match. I worry that it's Benjamin's annual good showing before blowing it with a bunch of botches in the next few weeks. Of course, putting the US Title on him is a good way to bury him if necessary, since it really means nothing. The crowd really helped this match, they really got into the near falls and half the crowd seemed to be firmly behind Benjamin. Benjamin winning clean was a bit of a surprise, but it will only help his gimmick of being the Gold Standard.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: **½
Small: **¾
Lansdell: ***¼
Average Match Rating: **¾

ECW Championship Match
Mark Henry (Champion) vs. Tommy Dreamer
Match Result: Mark Henry defeats Tommy Dreamer with the World's Strongest Slam.
Match Length: 5:29
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: It was short and, um, okay, not really all that sweet, but at least the Delaney heel turn was kinda fun. Mark Henry was booked strong, as usual, and I guess that's sort of the point when you push a guy as The World's Strongest Man. Delaney now seems like a lock to feud with Dreamer, and my guess is that the newly titleless Matt Hardy may move on to challenge Mark Henry for the ECW Championship.
Small: Ha, ha, ha. Man, Tommy Dreamer is the WWE's equivalent of Sting. The match sucked but kudos to the WWE for doing something as nonsensical as when they had the Coach turn heel. Hopefully, heel Colin is more interesting than his squeaky clean face persona.
Lansdell: Ummm, OK. It was a match. Yeah that's it. For the ECW title. And they did some stuff. And it sucked. And it saw the most heatless swerve in history. Delaney turned on Dreamer and 3 people cared. Henry now gets to feud with Hardy while Delaney might actually get a couple of wins from Dreamer.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: *
Small: ½*
Lansdell: ¾*
Average Match Rating: ¾*

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho
Match Result: Chris Jericho defeats Shawn Michaels due to referee stoppage.
Match Length: 18:20
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: I completely understand that this type of match may not please everyone, and that's fine. However, I love the fact that WWE is trying something a bit different with this entire storyline, because I'm a big fan of experimentation. Yes, this business is ultimately about wrestling, but it's also about storytelling. It's about emotion. It's about drama. And in this feud, WWE is experimenting with a novel way of telling a story, of creating emotion, of building drama. The bottom line is that this feud will almost certainly continue, and that's enough to make me happy.
Small: During the middle of this match, I was wondering whether this match would top their excellent Judgment Day encounter. After the match ended, I can easily say that Judgment Day was the better wrestling match. This bout had a much better storyline. As nice as the highspots were (like HBK's hiptoss to the outside), it was really awesome that a simple wayward elbow led to the conclusion of this match. While some might not like the ref's decision to stop the match, I think it was a perfect way to keep HBK strong (he never submitted), give Jericho a much deserving win, AND set up a finale match at Summerslam. When taken in context, this was a very strong match that should be taken almost on par with JD.
Lansdell: I was all set to give this match a boatload of stars. They pulled out some spots, had some good storytelling, and the AWESOME psychology of Jericho seeing Michaels' eye cut open and going to work. What hurt the match for me is the way the entire thing seemed to die once the ref started checking on HBK. I think he checked too often, and Jericho's offence between checks was not varied or interesting. The crowd noticeably died off once that happened, and you'd expect them to be booing the place down. Still, on the bright side the feud will continue, which is great since it's the best one on TV right now.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: ***¼
Small: ***¾
Lansdell: ***½
Average Match Rating: ***½

Divas Championship Match
Michelle McCool vs. Natalya
Match Result: Michelle McCool defeats Natalya with the Brazilian Heel Hook.
Match Length: 4:39
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: Okay, I have no problem with the fact that this match was given less than five minutes. There are eight matches on this card, so something needed to be short. And I really don't have much of a problem with the in-ring action. It certainly wasn't spectacular, but both Divas were doing their best to put on a good match, and I'll always give credit to effort. However, I do have a problem with Chris Jericho coming back out on the ramp and TOTALLY killing any momentum that Michelle may have gained by winning the new Divas Championship. Would it have been so hard to let Michelle have her moment and then have Jericho make his announcement backstage? I'd like to say that I'm looking forward to seeing where the Divas division goes with Michelle as the champion, but it's clear from the way the aftermath of this match was handled that WWE has very little intention of putting much effort into their newest division. That being said, if Jericho means what he said about Michaels' career being over, I can't wait to see Tell Me a Lie '08 tomorrow night on Raw.
Small: The booking summed up this match the best. Instead of focusing on Michelle McCool's moment in the sun, the writers had Jericho interfere it to continue his feud. Sure the title might be one step forward for the WWE women, but already it's been set two steps back. As for the match, it paled in comparison to any of the Beth Phoenix PPV matches from earlier this year.
Lansdell: Ridiculously short matchup that should have been given way more time and way more importance if they want to make this title mean something. Having Natalya job to Michelle is an interesting decision and not one I can honestly say I agree with. Still, I'm not the one making hundreds of thousands to make that call, so I'll have a little faith in the bookers until we see where it goes. There was very little in this match, but it was still better than the abortion of an ECW match.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: *
Small: *
Lansdell: *
Average Match Rating: *

World Heavyweight Championship Match
CM Punk (Champion) vs. Batista
Match Result: No contest via double disqualification when Kane attacks both Punk and Batista.
Match Length: 11:08
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: And this would be the first time tonight that I'm truly upset. I can deal with short matches and referee stoppages in matches where storytelling is the goal, but there was no good reason to have Kane interfere in this match. And maybe I wouldn't be so upset if this match had sucked up until that point, but it didn't. In fact, it was much better than I expected. Punk is an unproven commodity in big WWE matches, and I've always had a sneaking suspicion that Batista is only at his best when he's in the ring with a top-notch opponent such as Triple H or the Undertaker. And so I was unsure what would happen when Punk and Batista were let loose on their own. But you know what? They held their own. In fact, they more than held their own. They put on a surprising good match and each effectively showcased their own unique style. It was a match that I was really enjoying until the finish. But unfortunately, one bad finish can ruin an entire great match. So now it looks like Punk and Batista have unfinished business to finish at SummerSlam, and we still have to find out if Kane's mystery friend is alive or dead…
Small: Man, I was really enjoying this match up until the Double DQ. The clash of styles actually worked to both men's strengths as Punk's varied offense of kicks and strikes were able to keep Batista off of his power game. And due to the size difference, Batista's power moves looked deadly. While I was wishing Punk would have picked up his first PPV title win, I'm glad to see that he was able to hang with one of the top WWE wrestlers in his first defense. Now let's see the WWE keeps it up until Summerslam.
Lansdell: Well we all knew, or at least suspected, that Kane would play a part in this match. At least Punk wasn't totally squashed before he did so. I was thoroughly enjoying the match and thought the conflicting styles were actually meshing really well until the non-finish. Punk even locked in the Anaconda Vise (completely no-sold by the announcers) at one point. With this showing Punk definitely proved he can hang with the big boys. Summerslam is likely to be either a triple threat, or Batista-Kane and Punk-Jericho. I wouldn't mind seeing these two again though.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: ***
Small: ***
Lansdell: **¾
Average Match Rating: ***

New York City Parking Lot Brawl
John Cena vs. John "Bradshaw" Layfield
Match Result: John "Bradshaw" Layfield defeats John Cena by throwing him off the entrance ramp and through the windshield of a car.
Match Length: 15:00 (Give or take a bit. I never did hear a bell to officially start the match, so I'm just approximating.)
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: Okay, remember all that stuff I said after the HBK / Y2J match about being a big fan of experimentation? Well I'm gonna stick to my guns here, but I have to add one important caveat. Yeah, I'm a big fan of experimentation, but failure is always a chance in an experiment. And this experiment was more or less a failure. It was slow and plodding and nonsensical at almost every turn. So while I again give credit to WWE for trying something a bit different, it just didn't hit the mark this time around. However, I will admit that the match became much better once it spilled back into the arena, so at least the finish came on a high note. As with so many matches tonight, it looks like this match settled very little, so the feud between Edge and JBL must… go… on. But after a New York City Parking Lot Brawl… after a WAR… how can these men possibly escalate the violence?
Small: I don't think I really know how to rate this match. While I like garbage matches (I loved the kendo stick match at One Nigh Stand), this one was way too silly for me. Case in point: the fire spot was pointless considering it did damage only to the car and not to the wrestler (thankfully, Cena no sold it). Bringing the match to the arena actually saved it seeing as the crowd was thankfully still into it and it led to a nice finishing spot. I just really hope this feud ends at Summerslam.
Lansdell: I won't even mention the banality of a parking lot brawl that ended in the arena. Oh crap, I just did. I can see a lot of people crapping on this match, because it was weird, and the fire spot was completely pointless. But I enjoyed it, from the electric nuts and other comedy at the start to the surprise finish. There was some stuff that dragged it down, like the whole forklift spot, but all-in-all this was enjoyable.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: **
Small: *½
Lansdell: **¼
Average Match Rating: **

WWE Championship Match
Triple H (Champion) vs. Edge
Match Result:
Match Length: 16:47
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: Oh my stars and garters. This match was chugging along well enough, certainly not setting the world on fire, but certainly passable. And I kept waiting for Triple H and Edge to kick it into high gear. I kept waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And then, all of a sudden, cat fight-spear-kick-wham-pedigree. Match over. At least in the World Heavyweight Championship match, Punk and Batista had time to put on a good match before the lousy finish. In this case, it felt like the finish came about five or ten minute before the match was about to get really good. However, on the plus side, this was one of the few matches on the card that felt like it could serve as a culmination to the feud. Not exactly a satisfying culmination, but it would do in a pinch. But if that is the case, who would step forward to challenge Triple H? And while Edge certainly can't have an actual feud with Vickie, could we see La Familia dissolve to be followed by a feud between Edge and Chavito? Or will Vickie someone ever bigger (and maybe a bit deader) to throw at Edge?
Small: What a letdown. Mind you there was nothing wrong with this match but it's a shame that nothing of importance happened until Vickie Guerrero interfered. This reminds me of when Triple H and Chris Benoit fought for 30 minutes at Vengeance 2004 in preparation of Eugene's interference. That said, the catfight and Edge's subsequent SPEAR on Vickie ruled!
Lansdell: : I wish I could say any more than this match was OK. Nothing to make it stick out, that's for sure. Things are all set for the reintroduction of Taker as Edge's "punishment", as well as forcing us to watch Alicia vs. Vickie. And really, there's not much more to be said about it.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: **¾
Small: **½
Lansdell: **¼
Average Match Rating: **½

Final Thoughts

Match of the Night:
Slimmer: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho (***¼)
This match certainly had the best storytelling of the night, and while the finish may not have involved a pinfall or submission, it was also one of the few finishes of the night that actually made sense in the context of the match. The Michaels / Jericho feud has been outstanding up to this point, and I'm continually intrigued by how they continue to find new ways to tell their story. It looks like this feud will continue for at least another month, and that alone makes SummerSlam begin to look interesting.
Small: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho (***¾)
Sure the ref stoppage finish won't please everyone, but without a doubt, this match was the best of the night. The only match that could have possibly challenged it was if CM Punk/Batista had a clean ending. But it didn't so huzzah.
Lansdell: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho (***½)
Hardy and Benjamin put on a nice little match, but at the end of the night the veterans were just better.

Trash of the Night:
Slimmer: John Cena vs. John "Bradshaw" Layfield (**)
Sure, I gave lower star ratings to both the ECW Championship Match and the Divas Championship Match, but nobody expected anything from those matches. In fact, both matches were somewhat better than I had expected, so it's hard for me to call them trash. This match, on the other hand, was just another slow and plodding continuation in a series of Cena / JBL matches that has been horrifically underwhelming. These two men need to get as far from each other as possible and stay there, because it's literally been more than three years since they've had a good match with each other.
Small: John Cena vs. John "Bradsaw" Layfield (*½)
Yes, Henry/Dreamer and McCool/Natayla were worse matches but combined they were still shorter than this garbage match. I wish Cena watched tapes of his brawl with Eddie Guerrero because that's how you should do a match like this (make it entertaining).
Lansdell: Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer (¾*)
Even the unpredictable turn couldn't save it. Ass.

Final Analysis:
Slimmer: Okay, let's look at the numbers here. There were eight matches on the card. Only two of those matches broke three stars, and of those two matches, one ended via referee stoppage and the other ended via double disqualification. Of the other six matches, one "clean" finish came as a result of a jobber heel turn, and another "clean" finish came as a result of a cat fight. Oh, and let's not forgot the multiple incidents of attempted murder in yet another match. The booking was just all kinds of bizarre on this show, and unfortunately the in-ring action wasn't nearly good enough to save it. This was clearly the worst WWE pay-per-view of the year to this point and yet another in a long line of disappointing WWE Great American Bashes.
Small: What a puzzling show. On paper, this should have been good... real good. However, it came off like many of the previous WWE GAB shows: nonsensical booking (a Colin Delaney heel turn?) and matches that disappointed (the main event). The flaming car will go down in history along with Paul Bearer's burial, Benoit losing to Orlando Jordan, and liver problems as GAB "traditions". While I have yet to see Night of Champions, I think I would be correct in saying that this was the worst WWE PPV so far of the year.
Lansdell: Final thoughts: It's far from the worst PPV I've seen. At 12:30 am I have trouble remembering if there's been worse this year, but it had its share of crap. Punk-Batista with a finish would have been very good, but then the Diva match and the ECW title match drag down Hardy-Benjamin and HBK-Y2J. Definitely a step down from the last few. For shame, WWE, for shame.

Verdict:
Slimmer: *½
Small: **
Lansdell: **½
Average Verdict: **