Cook's Corner 07.28.08: Rethinking Santino
Posted by Steve Cook on 07.28.2008
I'm not sure about a lot of things in life, but I thought I was sure that Santino Marella was a worthless piece of monkey crap...until Monday night.
Editor's Note: This column was typed up on Thursday night due to the author spending the weekend in Indianapolis for the Allstate 400 at the Brickyard. The author realizes that some of you may not care for NASCAR. The author would invite you to kiss his rear end if he wasn't such a Kentucky Gentleman. It should also be pointed out that this column was written while drinking Miller Genuine Draft Light. The author likes the fact that this beer has 64 calories because he is watching his weight. The author is very self-conscious about his appearance.
Note to Landsell…errrrrrr…Lansdell: Good work, kid. With time you'll make them forget about me just like my old friends from college & high/middle/elementary school have.
Over the past year or so, Santino Marella has become one of the most popular wrestlers in the IWC. These are not words that I would have expected to type back when Marella made his debut in April 2007. I had been unimpressed with what I'd seen from Marella during his time in OVW as Boris Alexiev, and his run as a fluke Intercontinental Champion really did nothing to make anybody take notice. He floundered for a bit in WWE, but began gaining some steam after losing the IC strap and gaining the services of Maria as a girlfriend or something. People said that it didn't make sense for Maria to be with a dope with Santino, but I always said it made sense because women have horrible taste in men. I have a feeling that every single person reading this nodded along with that statement. Unless the women are in denial about it.
Santino's popularity among Internet fans kicked into high gear in August of 2007, when he began getting involved in comedic segments like the WWE Dating Game. I thought it wasn't nearly as funny as people claimed it was online, but people did seem to like it. As the weeks passed, Santino's popularity grew more and more with each poorly spoken one-liner. I still didn't get it. Why were Internet freaks going crazy over this guy? I thought it might be a weird reaction to the death of IWC Gawd Chris Benoit…instead of embracing workrate, the IWC had collectively decided to get behind wrestlers that…well…couldn't wrestle. I've heard people argue otherwise, but to suggest that Santino is anything more than a slightly below average wrestler at best is like suggesting that John McCain is a young up and comer. You can make the argument, but it's not based on anything resembling reality.
There was something about Santino that just didn't sit right with me. I figured out what it was one day around the end of last year while reading his Wikipedia page…it turned out that one of Santino's early names in OVW was Johnny Geo Basco. That may mean nothing to you, but the name rung a bell for me. Basco was the young wrestler that ended up getting Jim Cornette fired from WWE and kicked out of his duties with Ohio Valley Wrestling. I happen to be a huge fan of Cornette, and wrote the following about his firing in the 07.10.05 edition of News From Cook's Corner…
Jim Cornette - In the interest of full disclosure I should say that for nine months of the year I live in Louisville, Kentucky, where Ohio Valley Wrestling makes its home. Cornette is a local boy, and I've looked up to him ever since I read about his rise to prominence as manager of the Midnight Express and saw him in Smoky Mountain Wrestling and the WWF cutting awesome promos and being a great heel manager. I've heard his shoot interviews and heard him doing commentary on the Wrestling Gold DVDs with Dave Meltzer. In my opinion he has one of the greatest wrestling minds that I've ever seen. The man has forgotten more about what works in the wrestling business than most of us will ever know.
So I might be a little biased here.
Cornette was fired for slapping a young wrestler by the name of Johnny Geo Basco. Basco had ruined an angle for WWE developmental talent Marty Wright by laughing at him while he was trying to be a monster heel in front of the crowd. Cornette is an old school kind of guy, so he takes that stuff very seriously. He was already on thin ice with WWE due to other tantrums he had thrown in recent months, and it was known that Johnny Ace was definitely not a fan of Cornette and was looking for any excuse to fire him. So this was the final straw.
Part of me can understand this. But the other part of me sees this as bullshit. So a guy got slapped around a little bit. Boo freaking hoo. There's a lot worse that can happen to you in the wrestling business than getting slapped around by a guy who made his living in wrestling as a manager. Jim Cornette is a lot of things, but athletic isn't one of them. If you can't handle getting slapped by him, how the hell do you plan on surviving in the ring? Word is that this kid called the WWE offices and bitched and moaned and threatened to sue them. I can't be the only one goddamn sick and tired of these bitches who sue somebody every time something bad happens to them. Hey jabroni, how about settling your business like a man, sucking it up and not being a little bitch?
Jim Cornette had one of the more important jobs in WWE. He was entrusted with developing the future stars of WWE, along with trainer Danny Davis and the other people in OVW. John Cena…Brock Lesnar…Dave Batista…those three names alone indicate that Corny was doing a pretty damn good job. He also managed to make a wrestling TV show with a bunch of greenhorns damn compelling. You know the Heart Throbs? They actually ruled in OVW as the Heart Breakers. Cornette booked their gimmick to perfection, which is something WWE hasn't come close to doing since they called them up way too soon.
When Cornette was suspended a little over a month or so ago, Tommy Dreamer, Al Snow and others tried to fill his shoes. What came out of that was some of the most godawful wrestling television ever seen in the city of Louisville. I respect those guys, but they have no idea how to book a wrestling show, or how to make young talent better. Dreamer might have had a hand in booking ECW, but OVW is not ECW. They didn't know what they were doing, and everybody in Kentuckiana was more than pleased when Cornette finally got his show back.
And now they've taken it away from him. I think this might be the last straw for OVW, as WWE's been trying to get this Deep South territory started, and one really wonders if WWE needs two developmental promotions. If my suspicions are true, I will certainly not be a happy camper. Though I guess I'd rather see OVW close than have to watch a neutered version of Jim Cornette's baby.
I personally wish Cornette the best of luck in his future endeavors and issue a hearty "Fuck you" to WWE on behalf of us OVW fans who actually like having a good wrestling show to watch every Saturday night. Yeah, I'm biased. So what?
Up until reading Wikipedia, I had never made the connection between Santino & Basco. The diatribe above led to one of my more interesting e-mail correspondences, as the mother of Santino/Johnny/Boris/whoever's child sent me an e-mail complaining about my treatment of her man in my article. Now, I can't say with 100% certainty that the person who e-mailed me was actually Santino's babymomma, but she was pretty convincing. I won't print the e-mails here because I'm not sure they were meant for public consumption, but I ended up giving her a half-hearted apology. I maintain that the Cornette firing was the result of office politics more than it was about the kid that he slapped around. I stand by what I said back in July of 2005, but maybe I shouldn't have used so much profanity.
What was I so angry about anyway? Cornette ended up going to ROH and doing some tremendous Straight Shootin' Series videos with people like Bobby Heenan, Percy Pringle, Bill Watts, Bruno Sammartino and others I'm forgetting at the moment. JJ Dillon & Konnan. Oh, and he was also ROH commissioner for a bit, but I like to try to forget about that. Currently he's the face of TNA management, which is about as tough a job as you can ask for in this day and age. Seriously, the only thing I can think of that would be tougher than trying to explain TNA management decisions is serving as President Bush's spokesperson.
*rim shot*
I think I was angry because I wasn't getting laid. If only I knew what was ahead…anywho, for all I know the e-mails were a hoax but they did leave a bad taste in my mouth. I was not used to getting any sort of negative feedback from the readership…hell, at that point I was lucky if I got any. Why do I keep leaving myself open for easy jokes? In any event, once I happened upon this information, I realized that my dislike for Santino Marella was somewhat justified. The man couldn't even handle getting slapped around by Jim freaking Cornette! I'm nowhere near wrestling shape and I don't think I'd be too shook if Corny went after me. If you can't handle a man who's most well-known for carrying around a tennis racket and falling off a scaffold at Starrcade '86, who can you handle?
Not Beth Phoenix, apparently.
I scoffed at an Ask 411 reader's suggestion that Santino's segments were often the highlight of Raw. Scoffed is actually putting it lightly, I'd say it was more of a chuckle or a guffaw. How on God's green Earth could Santino freaking Marella be the highlight of Raw? I mean, Raw's the A show, right? If Tony Schiavone were still with us he'd be saying that Raw was the biggest wrestling show in the history of our great sport! How could this be true?
No, it wasn't his claiming that Rey Mysterio wasn't the Batman that won me over. And for the record I have never seen Rey Mysterio and Batman in the same place. Have you? Maybe Rey is the Batman! Then again, I'll bet Rey probably doesn't beat up his family like Christian Bale did…ALLEGEDLY.
It was when I turned off the TV after watching Raw on Monday night and realizing that I remembered almost nothing from the show other than Jerry Lawler re-enacting his moment on Late Night with David Letterman circa 1982. Chris Jericho's beard, the return of D-Lo Brown (YOU BETTA RECOGNIZE) and the awkwardness of Santino/Beth kissing. I don't know about you, but I've never kissed a girl after exchanging go-behind waistlocks with her. Of course, I've never thought to use that move. I'm more a sleeperhold kind of guy…and that sounds all sorts of wrong so I should probably shut up now.
Once I thought of that, I realized that the reader who had initially asked me the question was right. Santino was actually one of the highlights of Raw. I couldn't believe it. Could the Santino lovers actually be right? Is Santino Marella actually useful?
Maybe.
As long as he doesn't get any offense, doesn't win any matches, and looks like a complete idiot every week. If he actually becomes a contender to the WWE title or gets serious, he'll lose all his appeal.
I feel sorry that you don't realize how hilarious Santino is. Even my younger brother does and he's pretty much a mark that hates all of the heels and likes all of the faces.
Posted By: markhenrysquash33992 (Guest) on July 27, 2008 at 11:19 PM
Giving a nobody like Santino the IC champion was vince's way of avoiding a lawsiuite. Why was randy orton groomed to be wwe champion? Did you make the connection between Bary O and the sex scandal with Pat Paterson?
Posted By: chris (Guest) on July 27, 2008 at 11:45 PM
cook, that's ridiculous. i'm amazed that people think santino is doomed to be a comedy character for the entirety of his career. i can't believe that you are unable to imagine a scenario where santino becomes a bit more serious (think one kurt angle), wrestles more aggressively and ups in the in-ring heelish tendencies, WINS a few matches and is given interesting angles...
a guy with that much charisma and ability to connect with crowds is going to GET OVER. moveset doesn't really matter, he just has to learn to do a few things really well, and a couple signature moves. santino hasn't even been in a real match as far as i'm concerned...
Posted By: m-a-d (Guest) on July 27, 2008 at 11:46 PM
My wife isn't a wrestling fan what-so-ever, yet she can't help but laugh and smile when Santino's on. In fact, two weeks ago she was the one who pointed out the me that he said "...death meat."
Posted By: Bubba (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 12:56 AM
"Have you tried the Pepsi machine?"
I'm sorry- but I've been a fan for a long, long time- and can't name too many single lines that made me laugh as much as that one. Add in his Subway snatch and it's easy for me to call the guy gold.
Posted By: cyks (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 01:26 AM
Wow.
The ending to this article did not justify the whole read. I'm waiting to see what changed your mind and it was basically nothing? You remembered him so now that means he's not the root of all evil as long as he never wins a match in his entire career?
Grow up.
Posted By: Leo (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 01:36 AM
Yeah, say what you will about Santino being useless, but the guy's done for the company in the past year than few others. His storyline with Maria, his feud with Piper and Cousin Sal, and now his "feud" with Beth Phoenix have all worked in the company's favor and, interestingly enough, have helped put others over. What's funny is that I hear IWC guys like you always complain about selfish wrestlers who can't wrestle but refuse to put other guys over, then we have Santino who currently ONLY puts other wrestlers over and does so in a fashion that puts himself over, and you still complain.
Another case in point that the IWC is roughly a made up of whiny jerks. It's wrestling. It's never going to win Emmys or be considered respectable by people who don't get it, so stop complaining and at least try to be entertained once in a while.
Posted By: Santino Saves (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 03:34 AM
santino's "did you try the pepsi machine" line is so overrated. it wasn't that funny.
Posted By: foghorn leghorn (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 04:17 AM
Epic Fail of an article.
It made no sense and had very little direction plus it took you about a 1000 words to say what could have taken one line.
Your reasoning was poor and totally under-developed.
Know your trade first then you can rag on Santino.
Posted By: Breakyourself (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 04:39 AM
Sorry Cook, it's a well written article but I can't agree with your POV. Santino's been terrific for a long time, one of the few reasons to watch Raw in the midst of all the suspensions last year, and I do think it's entirely possible he could be elevated to a title again.
Wrestling is not (Repeat: NOT) a legitimate sport. Personality and charisma are as key to a worker's success level as shooting star presses and thirty two flavors of armbar.
Posted By: m:-x (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 07:51 AM
"Personality and charisma are as key to a worker's success level as shooting star presses and thirty two flavors of armbar."
I would go on to say personality and charisma are more key. If the Rock had the exact same wrestling ability but 0 charisma, would he have been considered one of the greats ever?
Posted By: pat (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 08:51 AM
How is it Santino's fault that Cornette got the sack for assaulting him? Cornette was out of line and WWE had been looking for an excuse to move him along for years.
In an era where new talent seldom get over without a monster push from creative, Santino has run with the ball when handed a gimmick that could've been a total disaster. The crowd reaction to his interaction with Phoenix on Monday shows that the guy is way over as a comedy heel, and that's something WWE hasn't had since the days of Christian and Edge.
Posted By: The Ratings Killer (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 08:59 AM
i am very, very pleased to see all the positive comments about santino from the 411 readers. most of you have hit the nail right on the head. santino has been a incredibly entertaining part of raw for a while now. as 'the ratings killer' pointed out, he took a gimmick that would have killed other, non-charismatic wrestlers and not only ran with it, but made it so successful that the crowd actually cheered when he kissed beth phoenix. i watch raw for santino.
Posted By: Double C (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 10:26 AM
Agreed with the few above, this is a bad article. You spend three-quarters of the column talking about why you didn't like him and then a meagre paragraph vaguely stating why you've changed your mind.
I still don't actually know; you now like him because you remembered his appearance? That's it? Couldn't you have inserted a picture of some trashy B-list celeb's butt and made it somewhat worthy of its webspace?
Posted By: Chungles (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 10:34 AM
Santino's attraction is that people find him funny. Not everyone, but a large enough number of people that he has worth. If you don't find him funny, then say that, don't imply that he's a useless worker - he's just not your style.
'How on God's green Earth could Santino freaking Marella be the highlight of Raw?' Well, because people have different tastes! It's not really baffling that people find Santino funny. If you don't understand why, that's understandable - people find different things amusing.
The idea that Benoit's death had anything to do with Santino's popularity if baffling to me, I don't understand what you're getting at there.
'The man couldn't even handle getting slapped around by Jim freaking Cornette!' Were you there? Did he fall to the ground and cry? If he did complain to WWE it was probably because Cornette, a guy who's supposed to understand the business, struck someone he's supposed to be educating. If you can't keep your temper long enough to explain to a pupil why they've made a mistake then you aren't a good teacher and deserve to be fired. Marella may well have complained because he was pissed he got slapped, but who wouldn't be? Cornette was fired because WWE decided to on the basis of what he'd done, not because Marella had some crazy influence the company.
Posted By: Blake (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 10:38 AM
If only the guy had actual wrestling talent.
Posted By: Gary (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 10:48 AM
This is a pretty bad article. First of all, I think that Santino is hilarious. Secondly, I completely disagree w/ your views of the Cornette thing. It wasn't about Santino not being able to take Cornette's slap. What do you think would've happened had he physically retaliated. He wouldn't be on TV right now. What would you do if you made a mistake and your boss just slapped you a few times for it?
Posted By: Bobby (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 11:21 AM
Cornette's slapping was out of line and really pussified. Santino would destroy Cornette in a real fight, Santino has experience in Judo and was supposed to fight in a MMA promotion over in Japan I think before going to the WWE. But with the position he was in, he couldn't hit Cornette back.
The explanation is that Marella brought his daughter with him to see the show, he didn't want his daughter to burst out into tears and get scared by the Boogeyman so he laughed and smiled. It doens't matter because it was a stupid idea to make the Boogeyman a serious, demented character in the first place especially when he was used as a comedy character later on.
Posted By: Guest#5090 (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 11:28 AM
Santino is to WWE what Eric Young is to TNA, the comedy relief. Nothing wrong with that. Hopefully they will allow Santino to one day become a mouthpiece for someone, perhaps Big Daddy V when he returns.
Posted By: Orlando (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 11:34 AM
Finally somebody else who doesn't like Santino. As mildly funny as the guy is, unless he can back it up in the ring then I'm just not interested.
Posted By: The Gunman (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 11:37 AM
I hope you had fun watching tires shred and drivers only circle about 10 laps before pitting. It made compelling tv wondering which crew was truly the fastest and smartest...
YAWN!!!!
Speaking of Yawn, I agree (I do?) with Cook. Santino isn't funny and comes across as mocking the very entertainment venue that make his livelyhood for him. When he first joined the E, I wanted to root for him like I rooted for Rick Steiner when he was the whipping boy of the Varsity Club. He has a lot of the same traits and he wrestled a lot like Rick did then (before he pulled out all of the power moves with his brother). His mannerisms were quirky and he generated a positive response with me and the fans.
Then Week 13 came...
I didn't care anymore. He fell to Norman Smiley level, where the Big Wiggle wasn't enough anymore.
Then Week 26 came...
Now he was on the DAVE (EVAD) Sullivan or Hillybilly Jim level. How can you erode a technical worker so fast and cause the fans to give a true shat about him? I like comedy but I also like comedy in its place. His aura smelleth foul. He sucks the life out of the program for me and I am caused to change the channel.
I read about his rumored switch in character, so I watched his debut with D-Lo thinking that maybe D-Lo would be the jobber and Santino would start a rev up the chart. Instead I got D-Lo as an announcers afterthought while I watched a disturbing kiss with a woman that makes Chyna look attractive. I sure am glad they allowed them to do Pat Patterson go behinds for 2 minutes leading up to this scary moment. I know girls like Phoenix's character need lovin' too but wow...
Yes, it did make me remember RAW but not in a good way. It is like remembering RoboCop chasing Arn around in WCW...
Not Good!
Posted By: thegunisgood (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 12:01 PM
I'm very sorry that you had to sit through that abomination of a race in person.
10 laps per set of tires. wow - 25 miles. that's a quality tire. I guess it was the surface combined with the new car.
I just know they should not once have said "This presentation of NASCAR is brought to you by GOODYEAR!" but they did a couple of times.
Thank goodness for DVR. I took a nap and picked it up later.
Then freaking Jimmie Johnson wins. great.
Posted By: franco (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 12:06 PM
"If he actually becomes a contender to the WWE title or gets serious, he'll lose all his appeal."
Unless he improves GREATLY in the ring, I agree with that. Otherwise I think the best thing to do is make him a manager. Or..........GM~!!!!!!!! Oh I think I've stumbled onto something there.....
Posted By: Chayyyyyy (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 12:20 PM
I agree really how many of the top guys really can wrestle that well I think Santino isn't the greatest but neither were rock, austin (during his wwe run), Cena, UT, Kane among others but all get over because of character and charisma. Santino has a chance for sure in this business.
A year ago I among others thought Santino had his run and it was over after he dropped the IC belt to Umaga but wow what a difference a year makes and he is a highlight of the shows maybe not THE highlight but sometimes hes even that.
Posted By: Paul (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 12:30 PM
I hate using this term but this situation warrants it.... EPIC FUCKING FAIL
You're main gripe with Santino was that he got Cornette fired? Really? Were you an avid OVW watcher or something?
Let me put it like this...as a character, Santino is GREAT.. not good, or very good....GREAT. If dude was 6 ft something, he'd have a belt by now and not as a means of shaking things up.
Dude started out as one of the worst experiments in recent times with his fluke win over Umaga and then subsequent underdog booking. As soon as they turned him heel, he took off as fast as he could. As far as matches go, dude is ALWAYS booked to look like a fool and he's still more over than Kofi Kingston, Lance Cade, Simply Priceless, and anyone not named CM Punk, Batista, Jericho, HBK, Cena, and Orton. Think about that..... when's the last time Santino had a meaningful moment that was in a match?
Dude had a major comedic segment with Stone Cold Steve Austin just shortly after turning heel. Think about that... Stone Cold Steve Austin is one of the best promo guys ever and they paired him up with Santino. It's a good thing they did too because that whole angle was HILARIOUS.
You know Santino is on his game when he's making the face commentators crack up during his segments. Even Jerry Lawler laughs at his shit and he had a mini feud with Santino.
Before Jericho's promo this past RAW, I'd say that Santino had been delivering the most interesting promos for MONTHS, in the most useless angles no less.
Unless you ONLY appreciate in ring work, I can't see how someone wouldn't recognize Santino's skills. You don't even have to think he's great, but to think that Santino is something that the WWE is trying to force on the viewer is ridiculous. Dude has been working to be hilarious and thats just what he is.
Posted By: Guest#7230 (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 12:53 PM
LOL I did nod, I did nod in agreement that women go out with dopes just like you predicted :P
(now reading rest of the Column)
Posted By: DumDum (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 02:22 PM
this author is an idiot. Grow up and learn to laugh, else go back to your pathetic, mothy, pretend professor life. Then again, there are always haters of what the majority love and they make the world go round...so actually carry on hating on Santino, it will give us something to comment about.
Posted By: me (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 02:32 PM
Santino is a Judo master. He could have easily ripped Cornette apart, but he didn't, as he was a professional. Cornette wasn't, and he got what he deserved. I love Cornette, not just from a wrestling standpoint, but he's an avid comic book reader just like me, but come on... he slapped the shit out of a guy in front of his daughter over THE BOOGEYMAN. That just ain't right, man.
Posted By: Jamal (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 03:09 PM
I wrote a while back if any 1 else likes santino & obviously am not the only one, he is funny as it gets.
if he can be a more credible wrestler, he will be the future of the company but am happy withwhat he delivers now.
Posted By: Big D (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 03:14 PM
John Cena got his big rise when he was a semi-comic heel. Meaning John starting using that "infamous" sense of humor of his and just went to town. TRUE Santino cant work his way through a greenhorn Diva match, but he brings that familiar heat. You almost cant wait for him to come out and try to be a "serious heel" so you can laugh at him AND hate him at the same time.
Since the Austin Era, TRUE heels have had to REALLY amp up the violence and "insanity" to compare with the "grey area faces". So we didnt get to laugh at the heels like we did back in the Hogan/Warrior days. Theyve brought out SO much of only two emotions in people(love/joy,fear/hate)that they forgot about the simple pleasure of watching wrestling. Seeing a "good guy" beat down and humiliate the "bad guy". Thats my take on it.
Posted By: CM Wolf (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 03:30 PM
Why do I love Santino so much? Three words.
Jerry Stupid Lawler
Posted By: Axle (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 03:39 PM
You know, I love Santino. I also like Cook. I also don't think Cook is pathetic or an idiot for not liking him. So many of these comments are all just your typical "You're stupid because you disagree with me" stuff. Please, people. You can have disagreements and debates without descending to childish name calling and attacking his writing skills.
Oh wait, this is the internet, THE place to go to verbally abuse people with absolutely ZERO fear of any kind of real reprisal. As I've said before, if you people talk to other people in your everyday lives like this, than you rightfully should have very few friends.
Posted By: SeanAltly (Registered) on July 28, 2008 at 03:52 PM
^ Yes, Sean. Whatever you say. The thing about that is that you're completely right. Which also makes your 'point' null and void.
Posted By: Crazy8 (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 04:19 PM
At a Green Bay house show last march Santino and Kennedy fought. Brett Favre had just announced his retirement, Santino popped off a few Favre jokes. Kennedy came out and the place went nuts. The pop he got was bigger than DX that night. But that’s when I noticed his natural ability to annoy people. He is a great heel.
Posted By: WWE fan in Greeb Bay (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 04:31 PM
Gun & Others: Yeah, the race was horrendous to watch in person. Thank goodness the rest of the weekend was freaking outstanding, otherwise I would have been pretty pissy about the whole thing. I won't bore you all with personal details (not here, anyway), so I'll just say the VIP treatment rules and leave it at that.
And I really don't mind negative feedback, but can we at least be original and leave the "epic" catchphrases in Csonka's columns where they belong?
Posted By: Steve Cook (Registered) on July 28, 2008 at 04:57 PM
Women have horrible taste in men. Yep, that's why your girlfriend or wife is with you... oh wait, your single... well that's certainly no surprise either. LOL... kidding man. Had to do it. Good column.
Posted By: Greg (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 04:58 PM
i know santino can't wrestle worth of nothing but he is a comedic geneius......the "did u check the pepsi machine" line was hilarious
Posted By: cj (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 05:31 PM
"BOO FREAKING HOO!" I'm so tired of people using that as a point instead of what it really is, an INSULT. Cornette did that to someone else. OVW warned him not to do it again. He did it again, so it's his own fault. How many other people want to see Santino gain the Boogeyman's powers?
Posted By: Capt. Smooth (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 05:40 PM
look, you can feel anyway you want about santino...it doesn't matter...your only resposibilities are to get your facts correct (you didn't), clearly explain your change of heart (you didn't) and write an enjoyable article (you didn't).
The guy was watching the show with his daughter, instead of her being traumatized by the large black man in make up, he laughed it off...no, he was not being an obnoxious punk, but rather a good dad. he was slapped in the face by a chubby little bitch with power and he could not respond. Think about that, imagine if your boss slapped you in the face and you couldn't quit or get fired, you couldn't fight back (imagine that you aren't a wuss, i know that its hard, but imagine)..imagine that you just have to take that in front of your kid, how would you feel? you never at any point gave marella's side of the story, thus you did not present us with any facts. This column was long, and boring and the pay off was silly. i'm sure that you're capable of better and look forward to seeing you improve as a writer.
Posted By: gotta criticize (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 05:42 PM
i live in Kentucky as well but we dont get OVW in Lexington i wish we did though
Posted By: RJ (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 05:43 PM
I really don't mind your opinion, Cook, as everyone is entitled to their own, but the way this column is written feels so half-assed and wouldn't pass for something in a high school English class. You build up your reasons for not liking Santino well enough, though you somewhat throw the focus off by trying to relate his popularity to Benoit's death, but the real bummer is there's no payoff, at all. You just basically say "Hey, I kinda liked him, but let's hope they're not going anywhere serious with him." For this to work, you have to explain yourself, maybe dedicate a few paragraphs (and not one sentence paragraphs, either) to get your point across. As is, this comes across as a glorified forum posting where your "point" barely shines through amidst a pile of words almost only put there to give an image of knowing how to write.
AND I KNOW YOU KNOW HOW TO WRITE, which is why I'm disappointed by this latest venture into columns of yours. I really hope you find some direction and motivation. Personally, weed helps me with that...what do you mean that's a crutch? Fuck that, a crutch would help me stand up, weed does the opposite.
Posted By: Guest#6403 (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 06:42 PM
"Seriously, the only thing I can think of that would be tougher than trying to explain TNA management decisions is serving as President Bush's spokesperson."
MMMMMMMMMMMMM, Dana Perino. Damn she's fine.
Posted By: Awesom-O (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 07:19 PM
Santino is usually part of the one of two good things that happens on raw. I remember santinos funny lines before i remember what the main event was.
Posted By: setobakura (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 07:47 PM
Santino Marella is just great and I'm happy he is doing so well. Me and him actually have a mutual friend and the friend told me that Santino barely used to eat in Japan during his MMA/Judo training so he can send most of his very little earnings back to Canada to support his family. I'm sure he can throw in some of his Judoka expertise into his moveset and become a much better worker.
I must say Jim Cornette was way out of line when he slapped Santino (real name Anthony). Being old school and all is good and stuff, but with the WWE being a publicly traded company now, the people on the payroll should respect the new professional environment WWE has to create for its shareholders.
Posted By: Guest#2902 (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 07:47 PM
First off -- we, as a society, have agreed that if someone in the employ of your company, of any level, touches you then the company is libel. Depush him to the moon, Cornette, but slapping Santino only puts money in his pocket.
So, Santino handled it like a man in the 21st Century and filed a grievance. Resorting to country justice would've only gotten Cornette jacked up. The man is no spring chicken. And then the company loses two workers over some dumb shit. One in the hospital and one in jail.
Really. If Johnny Geo was a heel, then who cares? That's what heels do.
If he was a face, then let Boogeyman destroy him for the rest of his tenure and MAKE him afraid.
If nobody around Johnny knew who he was, who cares!? What -- a grown man is supposed to be scared of a dude without front teeth? Maybe he was laughing at the Boogeyman blowing out his quads while brushing his feet on the ring apron?
Cornette got fired for violating company protocol. Rules. Live 'em. Love 'em.
This, coming from a Cornette fan. WWE's loss was TNA's gain.
Nothing from that incident made Santino a better wrestler, but he's a better actor (on a scripted television show) than any midcarder in the WWE, save Regal. Plenty of supporting characters have had better moments on the mic than actually wrestling. So what. He's comedy relief. Is he funny enough? Can he take a bump? Then he serves a purpose. I applaud his showmanship and encourage Santino to hang with Finlay and learn some moves.
Here's hoping they make Beth Phoenix wrestle with a strap-on.
Oh, Santino... Rico's on the phone for ya.
Posted By: trueindeed (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 07:48 PM
You know, I love Santino. I also like Cook. I also don't think Cook is pathetic or an idiot for not liking him. So many of these comments are all just your typical "You're stupid because you disagree with me" stuff. Please, people. You can have disagreements and debates without descending to childish name calling and attacking his writing skills.
Oh wait, this is the internet, THE place to go to verbally abuse people with absolutely ZERO fear of any kind of real reprisal. As I've said before, if you people talk to other people in your everyday lives like this, than you rightfully should have very few friends.
Posted By: SeanAltly (Registered) on July 28, 2008 at 03:52 PM
Well Said! I for one agree with Cook, Santino is worthless comic filler. Occasionally, he gets in a funny line, but how many times can he intentionally mess up a name and it be funny? I hope he never gets anywhere near a belt again!
One other note to the posters who constantly attack people who *GASP* have a different opinion than they do - you are the ones who the rest of us laugh at for being so sad.
Posted By: Indeed! (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 08:57 PM
Yeah Santino is funny but things like "Roddy the Piper", "Rey the Mysterio" or "Shut up your face" is only funny for so long.
Posted By: Colin (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 09:32 PM
the guy is over though
Posted By: Colin (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 09:35 PM
Apparently retaliating violence with violence is the manly and correct thing to do. Thanks for the junior high "meet at the flag pole" logic, Cook.
Posted By: Realist (Guest) on July 28, 2008 at 09:53 PM
I think that santino will get boring real quick if he keeps saying shut your face. And next hes not really a good wrestler hes sucks his are jokes are for little kids who enjoy his shit. He will never become a real star if he keeps that up.
Posted By: brian (Guest) on July 29, 2008 at 04:32 AM
Yea me and my friend (who are huge wresting fans and have been watching for 18 of our 22 years) now call it Monday night Santino. My wife will only watch the Santino Segments and this past week on raw was the greatest mixed tag match I have ever seen. His reaction to the win and his in ring antics are priceless.
Posted By: Mawham (Guest) on July 29, 2008 at 05:32 AM
I expect better from you Cook. This was meandering and lacked a concise point.
Unless he develops some wrestling skills, Santino is exactly where he should be- lower card comedy. If he improves in the ring, who knows what he could do, but until then he's right where he should be.
Posted By: Hawkeye (Guest) on July 29, 2008 at 10:55 AM
Oh, also I don't take anything thegunisgood says seriously since he has the same taste in high school girls that Jerry Lawler does.
Posted By: Guest#5693 (Guest) on July 29, 2008 at 02:04 PM
i have to say man u r wrong about santino.while he is not the highlight of raw he is still one of the best parts of it
Posted By: RJ (Guest) on July 29, 2008 at 03:44 PM
Over 50+ comments on a column, good stuff.
I don't understand the insult regarding Jerry Lawler's high school girls reference. Do you know something about the quality of those girls that the masses don't?
The only reaction I get out of high school girls is - "Daddy"?
Posted By: thegunisgood (Guest) on July 29, 2008 at 05:53 PM
Also let's not forget, Cornette slapped Santino in front of his kid. I don't know if anyone else mentioned this... but, come on. If someone slapped you in front of your kid (who probably thinks the world of you and bases their whole idea about how adults treat each other on watching you), would you really just "take it"?
Posted By: M:-X (Guest) on July 30, 2008 at 08:24 AM
Don't hide your pedophile eyes, gun.
Posted By: Guest#2670 (Guest) on July 31, 2008 at 02:32 PM
Good article, and I can feel you on the Cornette thing. Should not have happened, but if Ace was after him anyway, Santino's just the scapegoat..he'd have gotten him...comfort yourself with that fact.
Santino is the hit of the show. I agree with you how pathetic that has to be, but I like the angle,and the match. I think he has a lot more talent than they are everygoing to allow him to present, and that may be key to any success he may enjoy there.
S
Posted By: shannon (Guest) on August 01, 2008 at 08:11 AM
