The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks: 08.01.08

Posted by John Meehan on 08.01.2008

August should officially be named "Mike Adamle Appreciation Month." Anybody with Mee?



Welcome back, all. And thanks for checking out this week's edition of the MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks. Not a *ton* of wrestling news this week, but a great deal of material worth dedicating to those few news stories that we do happen to have on tap. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the show, eh?
Rock & Roll.

But first!

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING WHATSOEVER
But Holy Crap is it Awesome All the Same

You've seen 'em, I'm sure. But MeeThinks it's high time you enjoyed the greatness that is the chop-shopped GI Joe public service announcements once again. PLEASE NOTE: Though there's nothing inherently inappropriate about the following videos, they are probably best played in an environment where you don't have other people listening to your speakers.

In other words -- moderately "NSFW" (that's "not safe for work," for all of the old-timers out there).

LAST ONE THERE'S A PENIS PUMP!!!



PORKCHOP SANDWICHES!!!



...and finally... WHO WANTS A BODY MASSAGE?



Right, so... onto some wrestling news, perhaps?




Freddie Prinze Jr. Joins WWE Writing Team
Hollywood Actor and Longtime Fan to Give Booking a Try

Big news out of Stamford this week is that one-time-semi-legit Hollywood actor and longtime pro wrestling superfan Freddie Prinze Jr. has officially joined the WWE Creative team, meaning that the guy will now be a part of the braintrust responsible for churning out the company's storylines and angles in the months to come.

Obviously, this news caught a number of wrestling fans (and non-fans!) by surprise -- and understandably so. "A Hollywood guy writing for a pro wrestling show?" Well it's certainly a first in recent wrestling history, that's for sure. Cuz let's face it folks: even if he's nowhere near as famous as he once may have been, Freddie Prinze Jr. is certainly more well-known to your average Joe than a name like Michael Hayes or Vince Russo.

Now then, it doesn't take much to figure out that this move was a three-fold one on WWE's part: First, they get themselves a new writer with some fresh ideas (in theory, at least) and a healthy resume of "Hollywood" experience to his credit. Not only is he a fan of their product (which will inevitably help him "learn the ropes" on the characters to which he'll be assigned), but he walks in the door with a firsthand knowledge of what it's like to act your way through everything from the ridiculously campy ("I Know What You Did Last Summer") to the real-life cartoon ("Scooby Doo") and all the way to the third-rate teenage melodrama ("She's All That") -- all of which are pretty much the standard fare when it comes to your average professional wrestling storyline in this day and age.

Second, WWE earns a crapload of free publicity (even such "reputable" mainstream news outlets as Entertainment Weekly have decided to cover this story). Even if Prinze turns out to be a bust (we all remember that infamous story of how WWE once hired a Hollywood pro to be their storyline continuity editor, and how the guy ended up fired within a week's time for doing his job and busting them on all of their inconsistencies), WWE succeeds -- even if only for a minute -- in getting their name out there in the mainstream media for something *NOT* related to steroids, scandals, lawsuits, murder/suicides, or the usual array of wrestlers involved in drug or drunk-related crimes. And so it certainly can't hurt for the company to blur the lines between their enterprizes and mainstream Hollywood whenever possible, MeeThinks (not that Tinseltown's finest are anywhere NEAR immune from the same crop of "personal demons" that so famously plague some of wrestling's worst, mind you).

Third (and perhaps more importantly), WWE is hoping that the addition of Prinze will entice a cadre of new Hollywood hangers-on and like-minded "C"-lebrities into paying a visit to the traveling men-in-tights sports entertainment supercircus. After all, Freddie Prinze Jr. *is* married to Sarah Michelle Gellar (of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" fame, as I'm sure y'all remember). Prize may well just be a gateway drug to all sorts of C-lebrity crossovers in the months to come. Hey -- never say never in WWE-land, folks: in the past six months alone, we've already seen WWE cameos from everyone ranging from notorious potheads like Snoop Dog to sex tape vixens like Kim Kardashian to Disney mainstays like Raven Simone and -- yes even -- Hannah Montanah's daddy, ya' know.

And so perhaps this move is not necessarily as "out of nowhere" as many fans are suggesting. After all, Freddie Prinze Jr. has appeared numerous times as a fan in live attendance at WWE events around the country (not to mention a WrestleMania or two). On top of that, Prinze has appeared as a "celebrity blogger" on WWE's burgeoning Fan Nation website -- giving a pretty good indication that he's not merely showing up to these events in order to partake of the $8 brewskis they serve at ringside.

Come to think of it -- wasn't Sarah Michelle Gellar in a movie with WWE alum The Rock last year? FATE, I TELLZ YA!

And hey waitasecondhere... wasn't Sarah Michelle Gellar in "Cruel Intentions," a flick about a mischeivous brother/sister duo with a twisted mess of incestuous overtones? Hmm -- that sounds an awful lot like Katie Lea and Paul Birchill, come to think of it...

Long and short of things --

MeeThinks it's only fair to give Freddie Prinze Jr. the benefit of the doubt and the chance to screw stuff up first before we go jumping all over the poor guy's back. He may not be the greatest actor of our generation (that honor, my friends, most certainly goes to Mike Adamle)... but first and foremost, he's a wrestling fan -- which can go a LONG way in crafting a better-scripted wrestling show in the long run... so long as WWE decides to use the guy for something more than just his smokin' hot wife and fringe-celebrity Rolodex.

---

Mike Adamle Named General Manager of RAW
Struggling Announcer Promoted to On-Air Talent of Flagship Show

The other big bit of news this week out of WWEville is that the company's flagship broadcast officially announced its new General Manager. That person (in case you happened to miss Monday night's RAW) is none other than Mike Adamle -- former co-host of American Gladiators-turned-cringeworthy ringside announcer for WWE's Tuesday night ECW broadcasts.

Now then --

The fact that Adamle was named RAW's onscreen authority figure ruffled more than a few feathers across los intrawebz at large. Many fans had been pulling for a more well-known superstar or wrestling personality to fill the role -- with names like Eric Bischoff, Dusty Rhodes, William Regal and even Shane McMahon himself being among those most frequently pegged to assume the GM mantle.

Instead, we get Mike Adamle. And already the hate has begun.

Since this is supposed to be the POSITIVE approach on wrestling news for the week, and since this is probably the most perturbed I've seen the IWC crowd get over any one wrestling-related news item all freakin year (save *maybe* the Jeff Hardy suspension just prior to WrestleMania 24 -- but let's face it, the poor kid pretty well made his own bed on that one) -- I'm going to go ahead and dedicate a pretty healthy five-point counterargument to why, exactly, Mike Adamle may well just be the perfect fit for the RAW General Manager job.

Here's to you, Mike.



Point One:

For starters -- there's a vocal contingent of fans out there slagging on Adamle because he is so *actively* inept in his current role as a play-by-play announcer, famously flubbing the names of even the simplest of wrestling maneuvers, misidentifying the names of performers in the ring, and generally demonstrating even less grasp of the action that unfolds before him than might otherwise have been displayed by your average five-year-old wrestling fan ("That's The Batista. He's big"). A fair point, as it might well indicate that Adamle is not only out of touch with the company's offerings, but simply too aloof even to bother trying to improve at what all he's doing.

However --

As an onscreen personality, there is no *way* the guy will be able to have an excuse for not knowing what all is going on in his segments. For starters, onscreen personalities have the added benefit of spending time working with and getting to know one another backstage during live shows, whereas announcers are removed from the lockerroom area and must rely on their pre-existing knowledge of the performers and their respective movesets in order to call all of the action at ringside. I'm not making excuses for the guy here, folks -- I'm just saying: it is a LOT easier to explain something you actually have firsthand knowledge of rather than simply working off of a "cheat sheet" (no matter how detailed!) and trying to fake your way through a discussion.

Don't believe Mee?

Try passing a college level literature seminar on the complete works of William Shakespeare using *only* the Cliff's Notes. Now try doing it on live television knowling that your performance is being scrutinized in front of millions of fans worldwide.

Which leads Mee to point number two:

MANY backstage vignettes can be taped in advance, and Adamle (thus far) has actually proven pretty darned entertaining when he's allowed to operate behind the safety net of post production (WWE.com viewers will recall his appearances on a number of web-exclusive segments, including a particularly funny bit as a wannabe psychic medium on Miz & Morrison's "Dirt Sheet"). In addition, the fact that Adamle will likely be working off of a script which he's been given AHEAD of time rather than merely responding to action he's seeing LIVE in front of him can hardly be a hindrance. Sure, ringside announcers know what angles they're supposed to be shilling and how the matches will wind up and all that, but when in-ring performers are given free reign to choreograph the action within their allotted timeslots? Various moves can inevitably come at any point in the match -- and so even the best script in the world won't be able to remind you of the differentiate between an Enziguiri and a Missile Dropkick (or a "diving double leg kick," for that matter).

Not to sound like a John McCain superfan here... but in this case, there really is no substitute for a little thing called "good old-fashioned experience." And when it comes to providing play-by-play commentary for a professional wrestling match? Mike Adamle simply doesn't have it. If you *must* justify keeping him on the payroll, then it's probably better to give him a scripted role than one where he just blabbers on like an idiot in a safari hat who's banging a cowbell for all the world to see.

(Bonus points to whoever catches that reference!)

Point three:

Adamle is green, granted -- and if this week's live tapings are any indication (the guy actually stood up and started walking into the ring as soon as Shane McMahon stepped out onto the stage to introduce the new GM)? He's certainly got a LONNNNNNG way to go before any fan in their right mind is going to start buying the guy as a legitimate authority figure in his own right.

But then again --

Some of the greatest onscreen wrestling heels of all time have been borne out of all sorts of non-wrestling-talent obscurity, and all levels of "no way am I ready for a scripted onscreen performer's role" experience, for that matter. Vickie Guerrero, Eric Bischoff -- heck, even Vince McMahon. ALL of these performers started out in positions having nothing to do with an onscreen authority role (Vince and Easy-E actively went out of their way to keep themselves away from any semblance of onscreen authority for quite some time, as a matter of fact), and each of them went on to become some of the most memorable "evil boss" characters in wrestling history -- with varying degrees of success, of course.

Point four (which is an easy one):

It gets Adamle OUT of the announce booth, freeing up the broadcast position for a more promising young announcer-in-training to show what they can do in his absence. And not for nothing, but MeeThinks wrestling fans can *certainly* do worse than Todd Grisham (or the uber-talented-but-oft-forgotten Josh Matthews, for that matter).

And finally, point five:

From a kayfabe perspective, a number of folks are already chipping their teeth that Shane McMahon looks like a total tool for having given the reigns to a dunderhead like Adamle. Maybe so for now, perhaps... but let's play this one out to its logical conclusion, for a second, eh?

If Adamle bones it as GM (be it in kayfabe terms or in actual onscreen incompetence, which has pretty well become his "character's" schtick by default thus far) -- then fans are left with a heel authority figure who comes across as little more than a stumbling idiot who's nowhere NEAR ready the level of responsibility he's been given, right? Right. So let's say this same Dilbert Principled head honcho is still "running the show" (in storyline terms, of course) in a few month's time, and WWE is looking to spice things up with a brand new injection of some Vince McMahon starpower (because let's face it, folks, the guy ain't leaving our TV screens until he's certifiably dead -- and frankly, that's not necessarily a bad thing as "the boss" in full heel mode is ridiculously entertaining, in moderation)...

WELL THEN --

Seems as if the WWE creative team has pretty much scripted themselves a BEAUTIFUL "out" in the whole McMahon-family-approved GM scenario, now haven't they? Vince goes AWOL, and the McMahon family wants to make sure RAW stays under control the way daddy dearest would have wanted things. Neither Shane nor Steph really wants/needs the actual duties of a weekly onscreen role these days (for kayfabe reasons "they're tending to Vince," for actual reasons involving real-life business and family dealings), but they want to keep a tight leash on whomever they cede the reigns to, lest the show spiral any further out of their family's control.

In storyline terms, just about every other person considered for the job is a liability. Bischoff? Already tried to run Vince out of business once -- no reason to believe he wouldn't do it again. Regal? Once strike away from a pink slip -- can't afford to take the risk. Ted DiBiase? Dusty Rhodes? There's only room for *one* power family dynasty in WWE's ranks -- seems imprudent to open either man up to the temptation.

Bottom line --

Storyline or no, Mike Adamle's a patsy, an incompetent, and a placeholder. And in storyline terms, the McMahons want to make sure the show and its onscreen authority figure runs things according to their wishes (read: "with a tilt toward the evil end of the spectrum, but not *so* evil that they get too big for their britches"). As such, while Vinny Mac is offscreen "nursing his injuries" back to full health? Seems as if a guy like Mike Adamle is just what the doctor ordered. That way, Vin Man can pick right up where he left off the moment he decides to make his return.




Tomko and Dustin Runnels Done with TNA
Two Grapplers Close out Disappointing TNA Tenures This Week

Dustin Runnels, of course, is (and likely will always) be best remembered for his stint as "Goldust" with Vince McMahon's WWF/E on-and-off throughout the nineties and into the early part of the 2000's. Sadly, Dustin was just so freakin' good at getting the Goldust character over that he's pretty much been unable to escape it ever since. Kinda' like seeing Sylvester Stallone playing any part *other* than Rocky Balboa or John Rambo, actually. Try as they might to play against type, it just doesn't seem to connect (want proof? Rent "Victory" -- an 80's flick about a group of POW's in Nazi Germany during WWII... starring Sly, Michael Caine, and FREAKIN' PELE!!!).

Anyhow --

Since Vinny Mac owns the rights to the "Goldust" name, Dustin was left with the unenviable task of daring lighting to strike twice by donning a new gimmick that was equally as popular and marketable as his first. Not an easy task to begin with, for starters... but one that was made even more challenging on account of the "creative" minds that awaited this certain son-of-a-son-of-a-plumber once he arrived in TNA. As such, under the watchful eye of Vince "Never Let a Bad Idea Die" Russo (who many fans may recall was the very same mind behind the ill-fated "Se7en" character, Dustin's first Goldust-knockoff persona back in WCW), TNA's braintrust dreamed up Dustin's latest alter-ego, Black Reign -- and the crowd went wild MILD.

Seriously, folks --

A "split personality" gimmick is hard enough to pull off in the first place (Ed Leslie as the Zodiak, anyone?), but when you've got him carting around a pet rodent (inexplicably referred to as an "artic fox," for some unknown reason) and engaging in a whole mess of feuds that quickly devolve into little more than comedy sideshows (first against Kaz, then against "Super"Eric Young)... well, it's pretty hard to buy this alter-ego as a "monster."

Throw in a slew of losses to guys nowhere near the top of the card, a program that actually saw one of his opponents (Chris Harris) burying the absurdity of having to fight against such a cartoon of a grappler to begin with, and a pairing with the absolute LEAST effective cohort in recent wrestling history in one Johnny The Bull Stamboli a.k.a. Rellik (which is "Killer" spelled backwards, ya' know), and it was really only a matter of time before Black Reign's terror was due for a pink slip.

Verdict: Good call on the release, and long overdue.

TOMKO, on the other hand --

Losing a guy like Tomko is an absolute case of wasted potential on the part of all parties involved. This is especially disappointing as the guy actually seemed destined to be one of TNA's best shots at creating a certifiable new main eventer. For a solid stretch about six months ago, Tomko was hella-popular with the TNA faithful -- boasting a number of high-profile wins (Samoa Joe, for example), a welcome inclusion in solid storylines (take, for instance, his mini-feud with Kurt Angle), and an impressive showing of in-ring work to back it up. Though it's true that Tomko was technically "just another WWE-ject" from the getgo, he had spent a great deal of time and effort plying his trade and making a name for himself in Japan before signing with TNA, and had pretty much gotten to the point where he actually managed to come into the company *without* that all-too-familiar stank of a WWE castaway to distract from his work while in their ranks (compare this to, say... Andrew "Test" Martin, Booker T, etc.).

Unfortunately for TNA, Tomko's popularity abroad turned out to be something of a double-edged sword in the process, as the guy found it hard to juggle schedules on opposite ends of the globe. This was made especially difficult when he was headlining on one side of the ocean (where he spent a pretty sizable stretch as one half of the IWGP Tag Champions alongside fellow one-time WWE-ject Giant Bernard a.k.a. A-Train) only to serve as a bit player and a sidekick whenever he returned to this side of the pond (see: Angle Alliance vs. Christian Coalition). Needless to say, Tomko found it hard to bid farewell to the cash cow that was the international wrestling circuit, which inevitably ran him afoul of the good graces of TNA management whenever he'd prioritize a non-TNA commitment over one of their stateside outings.

All that said --

For as much as it sucks to see TNA lose an up-and-comer like Tomko, the bottom line is that the company simply has to make the tough calls when it comes down to testing their talent's loyalties. And when Tomko put his international commitments over TNA's fanfest-type shindig as recently as a month back, it seems only fair to say that TNA isn't to blame for letting Tomko take his ball and go home. The company needs to send the message to their roster that talent has to be willing to commit. And if anything, Tomko is probably getting his wish in the long run -- the chance to ply his trade regularly (and for a pretty penny!) on the international circuit until a more steady (and financially lucrative) offer comes his way from a stateside company that's willing to take a chance and see if the guy has what it takes to become a star in North America.

Verdict: TOUGH call on the release, but ultimately necessary.


And With That, I'm Outta' Here

That'll do it for Mee again this week. I'll be back in seven fo' sho... but I'll be headed down to sunny Florida for one final end-of-summer bash with the boys immediately thereafter, meaning that MeeThinks will again be helmed by a much-appreciated substitute from the 411 family a week from next Friday. More on that one next time, though. 'Till then, "Happy August," get ready for those back-to-school ads at your local Targets (there goes the summer!), and always stay positive!

- Meehan

The National Domestic Violence Hotline: [phone]-SAFE.