The Wrestling News Experience: 08.25.08

Posted by Stephen Randle on 08.25.2008

I'm back, baby, and I've got Raw, the latest rules of the Scramble (as of Sunday night, anyway), Goldberg, Steve Austin, and other things that peaked ten years ago.

There are so many Csonka-related jokes to be made out of that teaser, but I'm going to rise above it.

Monday, August 25th, 2008

From 411Mania's newly relocated Canadian offices in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, this is The Wrestling News Experience, with Stephen Randle!



Special thanks to Ralf Wall, Graphic Designer and Friend of the Experience, who took time out of his day to provide a newer, more professional-looking banner for the report. So, what have YOU done for me lately?

Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the Experience. I am Stephen Randle, finally set up in my new base of operations, complete with Internet, cable, and even curtains on the windows. Let me tell you, curtain and window blind installation is far more complicated and painful than you would ever believe. I do want to thank Wilcox for once again stepping up and filling in last week, and additionally covering the SummerSlam Roundtable. I trust I was missed.

Despite rumours to the contrary, I did not spend my time away from the site anywhere near Randy Orton or his motorcycle, and I've got lots of corroboratin' evidence to prove it over here…by the throttle!

But seriously, I did take the time to go on a weekend in Niagara Falls with the girlfriend's family to attend a wedding. She caught the bouquet. With both hands, too, just to make sure. No wonder I'm so unlucky at poker.

Moving on.

What's On Tap – WWE Raw for August 25th

Well, there's a Championship Scramble match set for Unforgiven, so expect all five competitors to get up in each others' grills, probably at the expense of current Champion CM Punk.

But meanwhile, the Shawn Michaels-Chris Jericho saga continues to roll along, and with HBK's wife suffering a potentially broken jaw at the hands (of stone, apparently) of Jericho, one could probably expect Michaels to be on the warpath tonight.

Plus, Kane says he "killed" Rey Mysterio, or at least scarred him for life, drawing the ire of Rey's hetero life-mate, Batista. What has become of WWE's ultimate underdog, and how will Batista respond to the beating he received at the hands of Kane last week?

All this, plus more from the increasingly complete waste of space that is GM Mike Adamle, tonight on Raw!

Around The Horn

For those obsessing far too much about the rules for the Scramble matches at Unforgiven, WWE has updated them again. Now, the first two competitors in the match will not necessarily be the current champion and a randomly selected challenger, but two completely random Superstars. In case you'd forgotten, the match will be twenty minutes in total length, a new Superstar enters the match every five minutes, and anybody can pin (or submit) anyone else to become the prospective champion should the match end without another fall. Wait a second, I have to check something.

…

…

Nope, it still says WWE above the Unforgiven logo. How very odd.

Goldberg has been making some noise about wanting to wrestle one last match, but not for WWE or TNA. Only if he guarantees that it will be his last match ever, and he will proceed to disappear from the landscape forever, occasionally resurfacing only to make new short-lived series for Spike TV. Hey, he's tried horror (Santa's Slay) and reality (Bullrun), what about a wacky family comedy where he plays an overworked single father trying to deal with a precocious six-year-old daughter?

Actually, that might work. Spike TV, call me about writing a pilot. This could be even bigger for your network than that show about crazy police chases.

Steve Austin has been advertised in early releases for WWE's upcoming PPV Cyber Sunday (which follows their upcoming PPV's Unforgiven and No Mercy…geez, they remove 3 PPVs and there's still too many to conveniently remember). This news put some people in a tizzy for some reason. After all, he was at the last Cyber Sunday, too. And he was booked on the previous year's event, back in the days of Taboo Tuesday. Just pray he doesn't get booked to lose to an announcer, and I'm sure he'll be there, hopefully to stun Mike Adamle.

I know what you're thinking: Stun Mike Adamle? How would you be able to tell?

WWE has released both their 2009 PPV schedule (up to next year's Unforgiven, anyway) and their plans for an April 2009 European tour, including stops in Scotland, Ireland, England, and France, but not Birmingham or Manchester because the booking people in WWE love to torment 411 writer Daniel Wilcox.

Of course, just for making that joke, I've guaranteed that WWE won't return to Toronto until just after the sun goes nova (sometime in 2054, if you were wondering). It's a shame, really, since I was planning to propose when I took my girlfriend to the next TV taping.

Just kidding, dear.

And before I leave this segment, I suppose we should blame Prag for this rumour, but TNA has filed for a trademark for the term "TNX", suggesting a possible (although ulikely) name change for the promotion. Hopefully this time someone will know what the X stands for.

The Injury Bug Bites

Inactive List as of 08.18.08

WWE Raw

- Candice Michelle, out indefinitely as of March 24th (shoulder surgery)
- Melina, out indefinitely as of June 23rd (heel)
- Randy Orton, out 7-8 months as of June 1st (broken collarbone, re-injured August 15th)

WWE SmackDown

- Gregory Helms, out one year as of May 17th, 2007 (neck surgery)
- Mr. Kennedy, out up to 6 months as of August 4th (dislocated shoulder)

ECW

- The Boogeyman, out indefinitely (calf)

TNA

- Moose, TNA, out 6 months as of July 7th (broken femur)
- Scott Steiner, TNA, out 4-6 months as of June 24th (torn ACL)

Transactions

- Gail Kim, TNA, released from her contract, signed with WWE

- Primo Colon, RAW, made TV debut on August 18th Raw

Does it do any good to introduce him as the brother of Carlito when a) Carlito's on the OTHER SHOW, and b) Carlito's been five seconds from getting fired for about a year now?

- Umaga, SD!, out indefinitely as of August 20th (PCL)

Who's Holding Gold

WWE

WWE Champion: Triple H
- 120 day reign, defeated Randy Orton in a Fatal Four-Way Elimination Match involving JBL and John Cena on April 27th (Backlash PPV)
- Next title defense: vs The Brian Kendrick, Shelton Benjamin, MVP, and Jeff Hardy, Scramble Match, Unforgiven PPV

World Heavyweight Champion: CM Punk
- 56 day reign, defeated Edge by using his Money in the Bank title shot on June 30th (Raw)
- Next title defense: vs John Cena, JBL, Batista, and Kane, Scramble Match, Unforgiven PPV

ECW Champion: Mark Henry
- 57 day reign, defeated Kane and The Big Show in a Triple Threat match on June 29th (Night of Champions PPV)

WWE Intercontinental Champion: Santino Marella
- 8 day reign, with Beth Phoenix, defeated Kofi Kingston and Mickie James on August 17th (Summerslam PPV)

WWE United States Champion: Shelton Benjamin
- 36 day reign, defeated Matt Hardy on July 20th (Great American Bash PPV)

World Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase
- 13 day title reign, defeated Batista and John Cena on August 11th (Raw)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Curt Hawkins & Zach Ryder
- 36 day reign, won a Fatal Four-Way match featuring former champions The Miz & John Morrison, Jesse & Festus, and Finlay & Hornswoggle on July 20th (Great American Bash PPV)

WWE Women's Champion: Beth Phoenix
- 8 day reign, with Santino Marella, defeated Mickie James and Kofi Kingston on August 17th (Summerslam PPV)

WWE Diva's Champion: Michelle McCool
- 36 day reign, defeated Natalya Neidhart on July 20th to win the newly-created title (Great American Bash PPV)

TNA

TNA Heavyweight Champion: Samoa Joe
- 134 day reign, defeated Kurt Angle on April 13th (Lockdown PPV)
- Next title defense: vs Booker T and 3 others, Four Ways To Glory Match, No Surrender PPV

TNA Tag Team Champions: Beer Money Inc
- 22 day reign, defeated LAX on August 10th ( Hard Justice PPV)

TNA X-Division Champion: Petey Williams
- 130 day reign, defeated "Black Machismo" Jay Lethal on April 17th (Impact), "Feast or Fired" briefcase stipulation

TNA Knockouts Champion: Taylor Wilde
- 46 day reign, defeated Awesome Kong on July 10th (Impact)

Links For Fun And Nonprofit

Lansdell and Prag have the weekend news reports.

From the glowing box, Larry and Michael O have Smackdown, and Larry and Mitchell have Impact.

Prag has the one, the only, the original Hidden Highlights.

Clark has The Shimmy.

The Triple Threat talks Gail Kim, the Scrambles, and The Great Khali.

Michael O has Cheers n Jeers.

Short has The Navigation Log.

Ari has Column of Honor.

And Slimmer has Don't Think Twice.

And One To Go On

411 will have live coverage of Raw tonight starting at 9 pm EDT. Larry's in tomorrow, once he gets dones with stealing the life force from neighborhood children, and I'll be back next week.

Remember, if you love poker, and are in the Kitchener-Cambridge-Waterloo area, check out Player's Poker League.

That's our show, here it is, your moment of Zen.



Have a good one, and always be a fan.