The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks: 08.29.08

Posted by John Meehan on 08.29.2008

Mick Foley is a White Elephant, John Cena is Superman, and CHAMPIONSHIP SCRAMBLES ARE GOOD FOR YOU!



Welcome back, all. And thanks for tuning in for your regularly scheduled week-end dose of internet 'rasslin positivity. Quite a busy week in the world of wrestling this week and on this end as well, if I do say so myself -- as I decided (quite on a whim, believe it or not) to sign my ass up for some Ph.D. courses (this is what you get when you work at a school, I suppose). Hardly the *least* impulsive thing I've ever done, mind you -- but perhaps the one with the biggest upshot for potential, I suppose.

Regardless --

We'll see if my sanity is still intact by this time next week. :)

'Till then... time for the news!

Rock & Roll.




In this feature, we'll make a quick note of those mini-news story items that have either already been covered in greater detail by other writers, or that haven't quite yet materialized into full-blown mega stories of their own. In either case, these items seem to warrant a brief mention nonetheless so that we can keep better tabs on what all's developing (and -- in theory -- end up with a better perspective in the long run) along the way.

The Doghouse
Takeshi Morishima (WWE Tryout) - showed up out of shape and underimpressed WWE agents

Notes: Bummer for Morishima fans, as the guy seems to have pretty well blown his chance to get in the good graces of WWE. When Jim Ross (of all people) can't help but remark as to how Terry-Gordy-latter-day-"Freebird"-esque your physique appears to be? It's a pretty solid indicator that the phone won't be ringing off the hook for WWE to sign this guy any time soon.

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The Debuts
Tomko (TNA) - Made a one-night cameo return to TNA tapings this past Monday

Notes: Even though Tomko was a former full-time TNA employee, he has since severed his ties with the company, and is rumored to be working for them on a "part-time" basis while looking to secure a more regular schedule of employment elsewhere. As to *why*, exactly, the company continues to devote television time to non-contracted performers? No clue.

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The Departures
None

Notes: Mick Foley's WWE contract is scheduled to expire Sept. 1 (that's Monday), and so odds are good that we'll have a lot to say about the Hardcore Icon in next week's column.

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The Drama
Sid Vicious (Unsigned) - rumored to be on WWE's short list to re-hire
Steve Austin (WWE) - rumored for Cyber Sunday appearance, possible WrestleMania send-off
Bill Goldberg (Unsigned) - wants "one last match" -- just not with WWE or TNA
Raven, Kanyon & Mike Sanders (Unsigned) - filed suit against WWE over performer's legal entitlements as "independent contractors"
Konan (Unsigned) - lawsuit against TNA likely to be heard in court on Oct. 26
Mike Adamle (WWE) - rumored to be working with a personal trainer for an in-ring debut
Layla El (WWE) - has been out of the country dealing with the loss of her mother.

Notes: Of all the performers listed above, I'd probably say that we're most likely to see Mike Adamle (yes, THE Mike Adamle) in the ring on a national platform before any of the rest of 'em... even if the RAW GM is nearing some 60 years of age. Layla is still overseas, Sid is a walking Wellness violation, Austin is a perpetual bit-player in WrestleMania rumordom, and Bill Goldberg is years beyond relevant. Let's call a spade a spade here, folks -- if even so much as 50% of these performers return to in-ring action by year's end, I will be thoroughly surprised.

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The Disabled List
Mr. Kennedy (Smackdown!) - Undergoing shoulder surgery today, could miss 4-6 months
The Great Khali (Smackdown!) - Refusing knee surgery, mobility severly impared
John Cena (RAW) - Underwent neck surgery, should miss 2-4 months

Notes: Cena and Kennedy's surgeries are covered in their respective news items below. Khali is refusing surgery, but may likely have already exhausted what little use WWE may have ever had for him as a main event title threat in the first place REGARDLESS of the current condition of his knees.




John Cena Undergoes Neck Surgery
Former Champ Expected to Miss Up to Four Months' Time

On RAW this week, fans learned that John Cena had suffered a herniated disc in his neck (which was attributed -- in kayfabe terms -- to his SummerSlam contest against Dave Batista). This injury was enough to cause the former WWE Champ to lose feeling in his arm, and something to the tune of a projected 20% loss of mobility EACH DAY. Needless to say, immediate surgery seemed like the only conclusion.

Though he was scheduled to fly to Dr. Lloyd Youngblood's offices in San Antonio, Texas for evaluation later in the week, Cena and WWE officials opted to move forward with the procedure as soon as possible -- and thus Cena's surgery was actually performed by noted neurosurgeon Dr. Joseph Maroon at the doctor's offices in Pittsburg, Pa. early on Tuesday afternoon. During the procedure, it was discovered that Cena's injury was not as serious as some in the company and elsewhere had initially feared. As Dr. Maroon told WWE.com:

"We performed a microsurgical removal of a large disk fragment compression on the spinal cord which was weakening the nerve leading to the right arm," Dr. Maroon told WWE.com shortly after the operation. "We created a small incision in the front of the neck, using an operating microscope, to remove the fragment from the spinal cord and nerve. The operation took approximately an hour and a half."

Long and short of things?

Cena dodged a close one here, as neck and spine injuries are NEVER something you should take lightly or ignore. However -- there are a LOT of people that are taking the fact that the WWE superstar was seen backstage at the Smackdown tapings held at the nearby Mellon Bank Arena LATER THE SAME DAY as a surefire sign that John Cena is either:

a) On all sorts of drugs -- perscription and/or non...
b) Using this "injury" as a cover for a secret Wellness violation, or
c) in fact, Superman himself.

But speaking from experience on this one, actually -- (more on that in a sec), I can personally attest to there being a WIIIDE variety of healing times for injuries and surgeries, as well as to a WIIIDE array of medical nuances within the broader spectrum of "suffered an injury that requires surgery." So perhaps we shouldn't be so quick to assume ANYTHING on this one without first hearing the full story, 'lest we look like little more than know-it-all uberassholes with an axe to grind against a guy simply because we don't find his catchphrases, fanbase, or OMG WORKRATE! to be quite our particular cup of tea.

And more to the point... if *I* go down for surgery only to discover that it's no more than a standard outpatient procedure and I'll be free to head on home just hours later (provided somebody else offers to drive you home, of course... as they rarely -- if ever -- let post-surgery/anesthesia patients get behind the wheel)?

YOU BET YER ASS I'M GOING TO SEE MY FRIENDS and let 'em know that I'm a.o.k... especially if I know that I'm headed for full-on injury rehab, meaning that I won't actually be seeing most of those guys for a good three months solid to come.

One final word about the severity of spine injuries, so as to offer my two cents in an attempt to allay a lot of the conspiracy theories I've seen bantered about on this site and elsewhere before we go...

A few years back while on a mission trip, I slipped two discs in my back and pinched the nerve leading to my left arm, which eventually got so screwy that the entire arm went numb altogether (gratuitous metaphor: imagine your arm is a giant tube sock filled with soda -- basically one giant floppy bag of fuzz. Yup, that's how it felt). Like Cena, my initial prognosis was immediate surgery (complete with epidural shots aimed directly into the spinal column. Joy of joys!)... but thankfully, an MRI revealed that the injury wasn't quite at the level that mandated such an invasive procedure, and so I managed to opt for the less invasive route and make a full recovery in just a few months time.

MORAL OF THE STORY?

It's no secret that -- when left untreated or under-treated -- spinal injuries can lead to some serious trouble on down the line, and so when doctors hear "neck injury" or "spine injury" or just about anything else that would suggest as much (persistent numbness, loss of mobility in the extremeties, etc.), good physicians will ALWAYS err on the side of caution and lead with the most extreme prognosis first. Happened to Mee five years ago, and happened to Cena just this week.

However --

Closer review (via MRI and the like) by trained medical professionals (read: not just cynical fanboys behind a keyboard) can and often DOES lead to a more informed, and ultimately optimistic assesment and course of action when all's said and done. It's not a medical "swerve" or a "work" or a "storyline" or anything like that -- it's just a simple matter of standard operating procedure, and scientific fact. Bottom line? Better to be safe up front than sorry on down the road.

Here's to a healthy recovery in its due course for John Cena. There are a lot of people out there speculating that this second major injury could well be a result of his accelerated timetable for return from his last surgery and rehab process (which is always a possibility, of course)... and whether or not that is in fact the case on this one, here's hoping that the guy takes the appropriate amount of time to get himself healthy through whichever safe, natural and LEGITIMATE physician-approved methods are deemed necessary by the medical professionals and physical trainers he's seeing.

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Ken Kennedy to Undergo Rotator Cuff Surgery
Smackdown! Star Could be Sidelined for Six Months

Earlier this week, it was announced that Smackdown superstar Mr. Kennedy would be undergoing surgery to repair his torn rotator cuff as of this afternoon (Friday). The injury came during a non-televised match against Shelton Benjamin several weeks ago, and word has it that Kennedy had been trying -- unsuccessfully -- to rehab his shoulder in the time since, leaving surgery as the only option. Kennedy's surgery will be performed by decorated surgeon-to-the-stars, Dr. James Andrews, who has an impressive resume of sports-injury-related clients to his credit. The procedure is expected to force Kennedy into a rehab timetable which could last anywhere from four to six months' time.

Obviously, there is never any "good" news to be had from an injury, especially one that may well have been further aggrivated by going for so long without seeking the necessary medical treatment required. This is also yet another in a LONNNNG line of "tough breaks" and bad timing instances for Mr. Kennedy, who now finds himself sidelined for the umpteenth time in just his few short years as part of the main WWE roster.

All that said, however...

Kennedy going down for surgery after a work-related injury may very well have secured the guy his job in the long run. While there were rumors last week that Mr. Kennedy could well be riding out the rest of his contract on the injured list only to be released quietly once the fall rolled around, he's now on tap for a pretty major surgery (which was the result of an injury sustained on the job, and will likely sideline him for up to a half a year's time)... and you've gotta' believe that there is little chance that a public and increasingly-image-conscious company like WWE would have it in them to cut the guy after going under the knife and spending months in serious rehab on account of an injury he sustained "on their watch."

Don't believe Mee? Gregory Helms is still getting a WWE paycheck, ya' know.

Kennedy might well be on the sidelines once his contract expires this fall, but I just don't see them running the PR risk of dropping a guy on account of him being injured "in the line of duty." Long and short of things, then, is the only reason I see him parting ways with the company is if he chooses to walk to TNA (or wherever else) under the promise of more money. Thing is -- a WWE contract (even if they lowball him on account of his spotty track record of injuries etc. -- which they could very well do) is GUARANTEED MONEY, injured or not. A TNA contract or a slew of independent dates? That kind of coin is pay-for-play, people, and there is absolutely no way Kennedy will be in any shape to step into a ring and start earning such an income any time soon.

Bottom line?

Regardless of his inability to stay healthy, MeeThinks Ken Kennedy is just about as close to a "lock" as you can get for re-signing with WWE in the near future. And even if he's stuck watching it from the sidelines, I fully expect to see him on a WWE payroll by WrestleMania XXV.

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Three Championship Scrambles Set for Unforgiven
"New" Championship Concept Match Gets Title Showcase for Each Brand

The increasingly complicated "Championship Scramble" concept took a turn toward overdrive this past week, as it was announced that this new match would be featured not once or twice, but THREE separate times in Championship bouts scheduled for the upcoming Unforgiven pay-per-view. While a lot of people (myself included!) have been giving WWE some serious noise about just how clusterfucky this match sounds on paper, it might just be worth noting that our confusion may have more to do with WWE's inability to explain the thing right in the first place than it actually has to with the inherent complexity of the match itself.

Here's why we were confused:

1) Mike Adamle announces this match on RAW as "Stephanie and Shane McMahon's idea." Inexplicably, it is subsequently billed as an ADAMLE ORIGINAL.

2) Mike Adamle declares that five men will start the match at once. Later, it is "clarified" that only two men will start the match, and the other competitors will enter the match in five-minute intervals.

3) The declaration is made that the champion and one other challenger will start the match. This is later re-explained (rewritten?) so that a random pairing of ANY two competitors can start the match.

4) Adamle tells us that whomever scores a pinfall during the match will be recognized as "Champion" -- presumably adding his title reign (however brief it may be!) to the record books and all. This is later ammended so that anyone who scores a pinfall during the match will actually be recognized as "interim champion," and that ONLY the man holding the last pinfall prior the 20 minute time limit will be recognized as the actual champion.

But now that the dust has settled (translation: now that WWE's booking committee has choreographed the finishes for how they want each of these three separate bouts to unfold), this match doesn't really sound all that complicated after all. Word has it that Pat Patterson (the guy behind the Royal Rumble) was actually the mind behind this latest concept as well... and if there's anybody who can make a multi-man-super-schmozz work to great effect (I'll refrain from the obvious gay jokes here), it's most definitely Pat Patterson. Here's the "SO SIMPLE I CAN'T BELIEVE WWE DIDN'T JUST DESCRIBE IT THIS WAY IN THE FIRST PLACE" rules to this concept, for those of y'all still left scratching your heads over the ever-evolving descriptors we've been hearing.

1) Five guys, twenty minute time limit.

2) Two guys start out, new opponents enter every five minutes.

3) Last guy to score a pinfall before time expires wins.

Now then, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Still, a lot of folks have been skeptical if WWE can pull off three variations of the same exact match in one night -- but armed with this pared-down explanation? Not only does this match look a heckuva lot more promising... but it also seems to lend itself to a slew of possible outcomes, given the nature of the variables involved. Here's just a few stories that the WWE brain trust now has at their disposal:

1) One match could see the last competitor to enter (at the 15 minute mark) frantic to score a pinfall before time expires. Not only is the guy fresh, but he's suddenly working in warp-speed against the clock. And if the CHAMP is the last guy to enter? Instantly, he's got all the more reason to bust ass in order to save a belt that would otherwise be lost in a match he hasn't even yet taken part in!

2) Match two could be your typical "finisher-fest" as time ticks down to the 20 minute mark. In this one, you're trading pinfalls at a fast-and-furious pace throughout (perhaps even with each new entrant scoring an early pinfall just seconds after joining the match), and then you're hitting all sorts of crowd-pleasing maneuvers at an even higher frequency just as the bout reaches the final sixty seconds. Regardless of who wins, it's a guaranteed crowd pleaser: a race against the clock that's loaded with trademark spots.

3) Your third match could see the CHAMP as the first man to enter, and while your earlier Scrambles saw pinfalls and submissions all over the place, this time around you've got just one guy in there (your champ) doing his damndest to break up every single near-fall or tapout scenario. Twenty minutes later, and you haven't even had so much as ONE three count or submission -- so your champ retains and looks like a total world-beater (especially because every other scramble had seen all sorts of temporary champs and interim-title-changes along the way).

And the best part about three-Scramble-platform? Each subsequent match builds from the last, and draws from the previous contest in order to establish -- and then re-invent -- the drama therein. It's bait and switch 101: condition the fans to expect one thing (say, a finisher-fest), only to throw 'em a total curveball and deliver another (say, a dominant champ). Longtime fans will recall that WWE has been tremendously effective at employing this "theme with variations" approach to some of their very best Iron Man matches of the past (first HBK and Bret battle to a tie, then 'Taker costs Rocky at the bell, then Brock intentionally sacrifices an early DQ only to gain a late-game advantage)... and so there is no reason to believe that the three Championship Scrambles we'll be seeing at Unforgiven will be as "cookie cutter" as critics might assume.

Now if I were a betting man?

I'd peg...

The World Title Match with CM Punk vs. Batista vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kane vs. JBL as the last-guy-to-enter-goes-apeshit contest of the night. A perpetual underdog like Punk, a "schemer" like JBL, a maniac like Kane, or a guy with an explosive offense like Mysterio make each of them a perfect late-in-the-game contender to throw the match into overdrive as they race against the clock with only five minutes to pull the lead. Especially if the last entrant is a babyface like Rey or Punk, fans will undoubtedly rally behind "the little guy" in his quest to defy the odds.

The WWE Title Match with Triple H vs. THE Brian Kendrick vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Jeff Hardy vs. MVP as your "finisher-fest." Each of the men involved come armed with a pretty impressive trademark maneuver, and moves like the Pedigree and the Drive-By Kick can totally come out of nowhere... lending themselves nicely to a rapid-fire sequence of pinfalls all over the place.

And if they're looking to make one performer a MEGA champion out of this whole affair, then maybe the ECW Title Match with Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. The Miz is the best place to go this route. Henry is billed as "The World's Strongest Champion," yet fans seem unconvinced of the big man's claim on account of the fact that the guy has been relying on a whole lotta' Tony Atlas to keep the belt around his waist over the past several months. While I doubt Mark Henry could actually deliver anything of a 20-minute "classic" on his own merits, I can't help but think that if WWE is serious about cementing Henry as an absolute beast of a champ, they'll use the ECW Championship Scramble to get the job done.

... but then again, you can just as easily substitute Triple H ("THE BAR-BURY-OR" who doesn't allow so much as one pinfall all match long) in the dominant champ role, and with a slight tweak of the formula, you can do the same with CM Punk ("silencing the critics with an unprecedented 20-minute-long title defense"). So like I said earlier -- all of the sudden, the three-match Championship Scramble looks WIDE open to a variety of stories to be told therein, making both the matches themselves -- and the card overall -- a heck of a lot more promising.




Mick Foley Headed to TNA?
Company Rumored to be Working on Foley-Branded Merchandise

Big news out of Orlando this week is that TNA Wrestling appears to have finalized a deal to bring in none other than the Hardcore Legend himself, Mick Foley. While Foley's WWE contract does not officially expire until Sept. 1, sources close to both sides of the agreement have reported that the former WWE star has all but signed a new deal with TNA, and that the company has already begun working on Foley-branded merchandise and promotional materials so as to prepare for his (presumably imminent) debut.

Here's an idea, TNA --

Rather than spending the time, effort and money on drumming up merchandise and promotional material for Mick Foley, how about you present us with a fresh, original, and altogether worthwhile feud, angle or storyline to throw in the man's direction in order to justify his (likely quite lucrative) contract as a LONG-TERM INVESTMENT for your company?

As it stands now, Foley looks to arrive in a TNA landscape that seems to be headed to a burgeoning war of "new" versus "old," with guys like Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, Jeff Jarrett (he's "YOUNG?!") and Christian Cage standing at the helm of the "New Blood 2.o" and looking to earn their stripes, while veterans like Kurt Angle, Booker T, Sting and Kevin Nash wait at the forefront of the "Old Guard" hell bent on keeping the kiddies in line. But with such a clear-cut divide between "new" and "old" (well, if you ignore Jeff Jarrett's inexplicable alignment with guys who are half his age, of course), this seems to beg the question...

Where does this leave Mick Foley?

Obviously Mick is nowhere near a spring chicken when it comes to his age or actual in-ring abilities. And while the international fame and recognition that he undoubtedly brings with him surely couldn't hurt the star power and overall credibility that TNA may well be looking to garner for themslves, one can't help but wonder if this is all for naught if Foley arrives only to find himselves on the outsides looking in at what is clearly the company's main storyline for the forseeable future.

Of course...

Foley is as beloved as they come in the wrestling world, and so it's not a stretch to say that the guy could easily be woven into the "I'm siding with the hungry young bucks because they're the future of this business" camp before all's said and done. But if Foley AND Jeff Jarrett are both siding with the "young guys" (and these two men's combined age is actually older than that of John McCain), are we even talking about a "young" versus "old" storyline anymore? Or rather just a vehicle to keep traditional face/heel dynamic while we pepper in just a few already well established young guys alongside the same old stars?

Still, if Foley remains on the babyface side of the coin -- this leaves us with the opportunity for a handful of "dream" matches against TNA's resident veteran baddies in Angle, Booker, Sting and Nash. But even if a few of these bouts haven't ever been staged one on one or managed to headline pay-per-views in the past... was anybody *really* lying awake at night dreaming "gee, I wonder what would happen if Mick Foley squared off against Booker T!?"

The Dudley Boys vs. America's Most Wanted? Ok...

Christian Cage vs. AJ Styles? Maybe.

Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe? Without a doubt.

But Foley/Booker? Foley/Sting? Foley/NASH?

We may well be talking about "dream matches" that nobody (save Mike Tenay and Don West) ever well, ya know... actually dreamed about in the first place.

Then again --

Foley could easily side with the "old guard" and buddy up with Angle and the rest. But is it really the smartest idea to bring in a NEW "old" talent only to have him about-face and side *against* the up-and-comers that he should, by all rights, be looking to help make into stars? After all, Foley has gone on record numerous times saying that he'd love to make a legacy for himself by helping put a NEW promotion with NEW stars on the map... so doesn't it sort of defeat the purpose to have him forging an onscreen alliance against those same performers in the first place?

Still, as a heelish "old timer" -- Foley seems tailor-made for a feud against whichever stars TNA has lined up in their "new blood" ranks. Abyss seems like the most obvious choice, but one can't help but wonder if The Monster really has all that much to gain by taking on a forty-something Mick Foley and simply going through the motions in yet ANOTHER bloodbath after spending the better part of his TNA career proving that he can clearly hang with the hardcore best like Raven and Sabu (when they're years past their prime, of course).

On the end of the up-and-comer spectrum, Samoa Joe is a great foil who stands to gain quite a lot in the eye of the average non-TNA fan if he manages to square off against (and beat) Foley. But still the question remains: are hardcore matches really what's going to put Samoa Joe on the map? Sure Foley's WrestleMania match against Edge was a classic -- but those two had YEARS of history between them, and so the brutality of it all made a ridiculous amount of sense, both in terms of the storyline and in terms of their offscreen relationship. Aside from a mini-program or two around ROH and indy shows that (relatively) few fans have even seen to begin with -- this simply isn't the case for Mick Foley and Samoa Joe. And so a rush to a hardcore brawl out of nowhere (in a promotion with a history of being all-too "gimmick-heavy" with their matches to begin with) might well run the risk of feeling like "just another match." And regardless of what kind of condition Foley can bring to such an affair -- is the Mickster even capable at this stage in his career of delivering the kind of match that could really make Joe a "star?"

VERY LONG STORY SHORT?

TNA has a LOT of work cut out for them if they really are bringing in Mick Foley with the intentions of having him do anything remotely worthwhile for their promotion in the long run. I'm as big a Mick Foley fan as they come, but we've got to be honest with ourselves on this one: If the Stings, the Kurt Angles and the Dudley Boys of the world weren't able to budge a rating or boost more than a one-off buyrate -- then there's a serious question to be asked as to whether or not a forty-something Mick Foley will be able to fare any differently.

Stay tuned as more develops on this one in the week to come. With his WWE contract set to expire on Monday, I fully expect los intrawebz to be abuzz with PLENTY of Mick Foley talk over the next seven days.


And With That, I'm Outta' Here

That does it for Mee this week. Thanks again for reading, and here's hoping y'all are assimilating back into the end of the summer and the start of the new school year with as little stress as possible. In the meantime, enjoy your Labor Day weekend! Soak up what little sun we have left, dammit! And always stay positive.

- Meehan

The National Domestic Violence Hotline : [phone]-SAFE.