Cook's Corner 09.01.08: The Man in the Arena

Posted by Steve Cook on 09.01.2008

If Santino-bashing wasn't enough to get you to despise me, surely this will be...

Sunday was a fantastic day. I got to go to a memorial service and then watch my Louisville Cardinals get waxed by the hated Kentucky Wildcats by the ridiculous score of 27-2. Needless to say, I'm not in a very good mood. Remember Chris Jericho's facial expression on Raw last Monday? That resembled mine while watching the U of L/UK debacle. Not good times. Its days like that that make me wish I could be a despicable heel. Unfortunately I was born with things like a conscience and the capacity for being nice to other people…really, where the hell has that gotten me?

Being a bad guy is the best way to go. Which is why it's such a shame that we lost one of the greatest heels of all time over the weekend. As much as I like to consider myself an old-school wrestling fan, it pains me to admit that I have never seen a Killer Kowalski match. Kowalski, one of the true legends of professional wrestling, died Saturday morning after spending almost a month in the hospital after a massive heart attack. Kowalski was one of wrestling's household names of the early television era, gaining his evil reputation against foes like Bruno Sammartino. Obviously his most famous incident took place in 1952, when Yukon Eric lost an ear due to a Kowalski kneedrop. You can read more about Kowalski's career in Larry Csonka's article…although Killer was before the time of most of the people reading this column and myself, we owe him a debt of gratitude for what he did to strengthen the cause of pro wrestling.

Besides, if it weren't for the Killer, we wouldn't have Triple H. Then what the heck would we talk about every week? Who would step up to the plate to monopolize WWE's main event scene, bury anybody the Internet takes a bit of a liking to, and get all sorts of promo time to say nothing of value? I don't really buy into some of those statements, but you hear them all over the Internets. To be honest, the Triple H hate has really been blown out of proportion in these parts. I'd say that 411 has a lot more H supporters than haters, at least on the main page anyway. Yeah, WWE gets a pretty fair deal from the 411maniacs. I'd go as far to say that 411mania.com's writers, readers and forumers give pretty much everybody a fair deal.

Well, except for one person.

J-E-DOUBLE F HA HA HA J-A-DOUBLE R-E-DOUBLE T

I'll admit that I've been pretty harsh on Jeff Jarrett in the past. When I started writing for this website my job was recapping TNA Impact. At the time, it seemed like Jeff Jarrett was doing many of the things that I "accused" Triple H of doing earlier. He held on the NWA title like a baby holds on to his favorite stuffed animal, refusing to share it with anybody else. Just when it seemed that a new challenger was emerging and gaining popularity with the audience, Jarrett would make sure to beat them into the ground and use the inane booking strategies of Dusty Rhodes to send the challenger into obscurity or possibly the arms of WWE.

At least, that's how it seemed.

I didn't realize the wisdom behind keeping the title on Jarrett, which was basically this: Jeff Jarrett was the one guy that they knew wasn't going to leave. Guys like Raven & Monty Brown were fine talents, but you couldn't trust them to stick around. Neither of them are with TNA today. And who's to say that a guy like AJ Styles couldn't have been lured away by WWE? It hasn't happened yet, but one can't rule it out.

Jarrett was the one guy that TNA could rely on to stick around through the good times and the bad, because he's the driving force behind TNA. He has had a hand in all of the good things that TNA has accomplished since their debut six years ago. And yes, he's also had a hand in the bad things that they've done. TNA certainly isn't perfect, but they've accomplished a lot more than most of us ever thought they would.

My theory is that most of you are against Jeff Jarrett not because of his in-ring work, or his promo skills, or his ridiculously bad fashion sense. I believe you despise Jarrett because of what he represents…opposition to Vince McMahon. Let's face it, most of the people who liked promotions other than the WWF tuned out this wrestling stuff a long time ago. What we've got left in wrestling's fanbase are Vince apologists who will lap up anything that he puts on television and addicts like me that are hooked by anything with "wrestling" on the marquee no matter how offensive it may be to a discriminating eye. But even we have our limits.

TNA can't win. The casual fans and Vince apologists don't like them because they aren't WWE and that's all they know. The "smart" fans don't like them because they don't book things the way they should be. It's very tough to find a good fanbase and draw a good rating in a climate like this. Where are TNA's fans supposed to come from? Bringing in "name" talent like Kurt Angle, Booker T, Christian Cage & Sting hasn't really done anything to grow the fanbase. The ratings are consistent, yet stagnant. The Knockouts division has gained attention and critical acclaim, but with Gail Kim out of the picture it remains to be seen whether that can continue or not.

Yet, I have a feeling that TNA will continue to try and make an impact (pun definitely intended) for at least a few more years.

There was a quote from Teddy Roosevelt that Jarrett paraphrased in TNA's Year One DVD…

"It is not the critic who counts, nor the man who points how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly...who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at best, knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

Say what you will about Jeff Jarrett, but he is far less cold and timid than we are.

And come on, who can hate on a person who bashes other people over the head with guitars? The guitar is such an underrated foreign object.

Santino Story of the Week

Santino Marella, who is an OVW/DCW alumnus sent the company a $500 check this past week. It included a note read "Thinking of you." This is the second check he has sent to the company since being brought up full-time.

We've talked about Santino in this column before, so there's no need to beat that dead horse. You all think he's God, I think he's mid-card fodder that's good for an occasional laugh. I'm not going to change your mind and you're not going to change mine. I gotta give him some credit though…how many of us have given back to the people that helped make us what we are? I could hide behind the fact that I'm not making as much money as Santino is and the fact that I don't have a whole lot of money to give, but I have to wonder if I would if I could…and I'm not really sure. Maybe I'm alone on that, but at any rate I'm gonna give Mr. Marella his props. Now if he'd just shave that stupid unibrow…

Wrestling Question of the Week

So WWE's interest in Takeshi Morishima has gone down due to him showing up at the TV tapings "out of shape". Here's the question: how can a company that pushes JBL as a World title threat and has Mark Henry as the ECW champion decide not to bring somebody in because they're…



Mike Gundy: FAT?

Really, it boggles my mind. In JBL's defense, he can cut a much better promo than the non-English speaking Morishima, so he does have some value there. I'm unaware as to what Henry's value is at this point, other than being only the second most annoying person on my television with the last name Henry. Which leads me to another question…how can my Cincinnati Bengals have room on their roster for a waste of oxygen like Chris Henry but cut guys like Rudi Johnson & Willie Anderson, who have contributed more to the Bengal franchise during their years with the team than Henry can ever hope of contributing? The answer, of course, is money, but it just goes to show why they've made one playoff appearance in the last seventeen years.

It's tough being a Bengal fan.

Comment of the Week

what did i just read?

Posted By: so (Guest) on August 25, 2008 at 08:24 PM

It's funny to me because it's true. You see, I still have no idea what in the blue hell I plan on doing with this column. My original plan was to take some time off from this writing thing…maybe explore the world or buy some hookers and blow. Something fun. But the 411 execs lured me back with promises of grandeur, more media exposure and a date with one of the female Fan Forumers. I still haven't gotten any of these things, but it's all right. Eventually I'll figure this thing out and go back to being the best darn Internet wrestling columnist with the first name of Steve. Booyakasha.

A close second place goes to this comment:

Don't you people get it? I just don't want McCain to win. What's it gonna take??

Posted By: God (Guest) on August 31, 2008 at 05:15 PM

Tremendous.

Four Questions With…

This week I went off the 411mania.com radar to talk with former Fan Forumer Clobbersaurus. She's a former Idahoer that currently resides across the pond in limey Britain and spends most of her time either working or yelling at her husband. It's a typical life for most women. However, this column could use some class and a female perspective, and Clobbs covers at least one of those areas pretty well.

It seems to me that you're not too much into the wrestling anymore. What would it take for you to get back to being an addict again?

Clobbs: I know wrestling hasn't ever been an intelligent sport/piece of entertainment but some of the moronic story lines (see: Shawn Michaels is sad about his wife, Batista is angry that someone was mean to Ric Flair and/or Rey Mysterio because he met them once in a hallway and they are now his hero or that million dollar give away crap) and the pushing of uncharismatic and talentless characters (see: Orton, Batista - oh yes, I said Orton and Batista. They bring nothing to the table). I think despite some exceptions, the E has good and has potential for good characters but their writing staff has managed to suck for years - they seem to have left the wrestling crowd behind since they're pretty much the only show in town and are marketing more toward the trendy 'get me on tv!' morons or the kiddies. Story development is left behind. I think I'd come back to it if they at least acted like they cared about their own product. When it comes to TNA, I don't really pay attention outside of their women's division - I think it's a good formula to follow. Well, up until last week. But this is your column, I'll let you talk about it.

(I presume she's referring to the whole Gail Kim leaving thing, which is pretty unfortunate for TNA and the Knockouts division, but I can't blame the girl for leaving if the figures I read on a message board were accurate.)

Most women seem to like them some John Cena. Can you tell me why?

Clobbs: Count me out of the majority on this one. If I were to hazard a guess, it's a combination of muscles and uber-face status. Maybe that's why the Internets hate him so much. Seriously, why the hate? I don't like his gimmick either and he's certainly not the purest wrestler around but neither was Hogan and it's ok to like him. The guy works harder than the more over guys in the company.

What is your favorite Metallica song of all time, and why is it so?

Clobbs: Is 'Beat the Crap out of Lars' a song yet? No? Well it should be. Until then it'd have to be 'Creeping Death.' Riffage.

Internet dating...for or against?

Clobbs: Depends if I'm arguing with my internet-ordered husband or not. It's a good way of meeting people really - no different than meeting in a club. There are no fewer psychos on the internet than their are in real life. Just a wider range.

Thanks to Ms. Saurus for taking the time to speak with us this week. Much more insightful than Csonka, don't you think?

Next time I'm thinking about talking about one of my favorite wrestlers of all time and his possible future plans…but I'd like to know what they actually are first and I'm not just going to take Wade Keller's word for it. Join me then, won't you?