The Thursday Small-For-All News Report: 09.04.09
Posted by Jeff Small on 09.04.2008
After reading this, I bet you wished I never returned.
Ooh
How could you forget me, Forget all about me
How could you forget me, Forget all about me
Y'all remember me from back in the days
The wrestling' O.G. Jeff Small don't play
Been chillin' in da cut but I'm back on the scene
I'll still kick ya butt cuz I'm still real mean
I'm comin' wit da heat so don't try to stop me
Refuse to get beat so y'all can't top me
Still got the fury still got the fire
The best til' I retire cuz that's my desire
But now I flipped the script I'm rappin' on the mic
But don't get it twisted I'm always down to fight
Cuz it's in the blood to pass on the legacy
Jeff Small from the school of hard knocks remember me
Remember Me I'm the same ol' Small that I used to be
Ain't nuthin' gonna change so remember me la la la la
La La La La La La La La
Remember Me I'm the same ol' Small that I used to be
I'm still the reining king so remember me
For those who forgot I still rock I still rock, remember me
Truly nothing can sum up my feelings better than a Macho Man Randy Savage rap song.
Wait for it…
Wait for it…
Keep waiting….
Yes, yes….
JT!!!!!!!
GASOLINA!
Sure seems like it's been a while my friends. Kudos to JT for filling in the last two weeks. While JT comes across that he's too good for a silly little wrestling news report (for he once recapped Byte This!), the truth of the matter is that JT lives for filling-in for me. Case in point: about a month ago, I asked JT which of the two weeks he wanted to fill in during my sabbatical (I had lined up Chris Hyatte for the other week). And of course, JT begged for both weeks. Because what else does JT do with his life besides dressing up like Daddy Yankee? Not that there's anything wrong with that. So out of the goodness of my heart (I felt sorry for him), I graciously gave him the opportunity to fill-in for me for two weeks. And as for Hyatte, don't worry, he'll be back. You see, the truth is I am Hyatte. I am also Daniel Wilcox. What else?
Did you know that I once spilled beer all over myself talking to Kurt Angle (okay that was last month)? Or that I once met Sunny at a NWA-NJ show and almost had a heart attack when her boobies touched my arm (that was also last month)? Imagine if I talked to Sunny back when she was hot. I would have died right there on the scene. Who knows if the Patriot would perform CPR to save my life? Without me, where would you go to talk about the Great Khali weekly or share thoughts on the Dirty Dirty's MySpace page (current attitude: dirty) or to laugh at this silly world of professional wrestler? Fuck, if I leave, this little internet world would be a sad place. It'd be like a never-ending Vin Diesel movie. Speaking of which, this past weekend, I saw the House Buddy… so funny.
WHAMMY!!!
Ha, I know you all missed me. In today's news report, we speak on Shawn Michaels's recent tear, the real match listing for Edge's upcoming DVD, the real reason why MVP is in heat (not on ‘Heat'), Mick Foley's latest statement, and any last minute update to this Sunday's Unforgiven PPV. But first… let's find out to what really happened to this news reporter over the past two weeks.
Wait for it…
Wait for it…
KHALI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NEWS FROM THE PUNJAB
A Lesson in Life, Love, and the Act of Perseverance By: Jeff Small
Two weeks ago, I was supposed to partake in 411's Summerslam Instant Access Review. Keyword: supposed to since I blew off Slimmer to party like a WASP in lovely Portsmouth, NH. Lo and behold, by the time, I finished boating for the day, it was already 8:30PM and my chance of watching the Great Khali win the WWE Championship for the 1st time appeared to be slim. I was distraught. Not even the thoughts of going to a nearby titty bar would have brightened my demeanor. So, I did what every sane man would do: I tried to stream an illegal feed of Summerslam on my cell phone. Sadly, it didn't work.
At that point, I, unfortunately, was stuck chatting with Slimmer on Gmail. Of course, because he's a "Street Boss" and I'm still stuck in "Soldier" hell, I had to listen to his shitty jokes about HBK's wife losing her smile. Like seriously Slimmer, it wasn't funny the first time.
Regardless, I missed the Great Khali/Triple H Championship match. And to make matters worse, Khali lost. He lost. Yup, loser. Game over. I couldn't believe it. I would have sworn on Lindsey Lohan's dignity that he would have captured the championship. I mean why wouldn't Khali win? He's agile, in the prime of his life, a international sensation, and young enough that you can build a lengthy reign around him. Triple H, on the other hand, needs time off to take care of his latest demon spawn. Frankly, I was stunned.
At that moment, everything I had held dear to me was dead. Thank God I wasn't driving or else, I would have turned that car around and driven to the nearest lazy river where I would have tried to drown myself in the three-foot water. Thankfully I spared myself a long and agonizing death. My next logical idea was a little better: I would do some soul-seeking in the Punjabi jungles. So I purchased a ticket for a red-eye flight and went to sleep. I dreamt of swinging in the vines like Indiana Jones, bathing in the waters where tigers run freely, eating twelve chickens a day, and even sacrificing a native to the Great Khali. My dream was awesome up until the point when I was suddenly interrupted by Todd Grisham.
No homo.
You see, Grisham made a tempting offer. Why would I want to stay with a loser like Khali when I could go chill with a 3rd Rate ECW Announcer who also does side-work for WWE.com! So yes, after four long months, the Great Khali love affair is over. It was a very tough decision, but in the end, I believe that after using Grisham as a stepping stone, I might make it to Mike Adamle territory!
Or perhaps, two weeks ago, I was out on the town celebrating my birthday followed by having a work obligation last week. I'll let you decide.
NEWS FROM TITAN TOWERS
I'm Tearing Away…
Good news for the WWE as Shawn Michaels's tricep tear is nowhere near as bad as most believed. According to WWE.com, "Shawn Michaels has been diagnosed with a small tear of his left triceps. He will wrestle at Unforgiven and will likely be able to avoid surgery."
When news first broke on HBK's injury, everyone assumed the worst. I read everything from Michaels will have to retire, to him needing immediate surgery, to being out for 4-6 months, to even that he would fight through the torn triceps and proceed to send Chris Jericho back to the mid-card. Thankfully, none of these are true (though the last one could still possibly happen). With John Cena's recent neck injury (man, no more vacations for me), the WWE is hurting for main eventers. If seriously injured, Shawn Michaels would have proved a very large loss for the Raw brand as only Batista, CM Punk and Rey Mysterio would be left as top babyfaces on the Raw brand. And with two of those three superstars the size of cruiserweights, the WWE would have probably opted to give JBL another run with the championship. Or even worse, Deuce!
Thank you HBK for sucking it up and saving the WWE from "Droppin' the Deuce."
STONED!
Here's the real reason why MVP has "heat:" according to the Wrestling Observer, "The heat on MVP may have started with a drug test - wrestlers aren't exactly down with the idea of standing around totally exposed to give a urine sample. During a test, MVP asked the monitor if he had graduated from college, then after he answered, said something to the effect of "you went to school for four years to watch people's dicks". The monitor complained to Johnny Ace and Brother Love told the wrestlers not to harass them. The reason the story came out about him being asked to observe Shelton Benjamin's work is because Benjamin is currently getting high praise for his current heel work, particularly the way he smiles after doing a heel deed."
Man, MVP totally owned that monitor guy. Granted, I don't think that man deserves to be taking shit for having to watch dude's urinate, but it's still awesome nonetheless. As for MVP's work, I think a lot of it has to do with him not getting the heel heat he deserves. It's almost as if the WWE should give him the title (see Triple H in 1999) in order for him to obtain some heat. Hmm... I wonder if Stephanie would participate in a drive-by… wedding.
Adam Copeland on DVD!
According to Amazon.com, Edge has a 2-disc DVD scheduled for release on November 4th. While matches have yet to be named, I have a good idea as to what the listing will include:
The Debut
Summerslam 1998: Edge & Sable vs. Mark Mero & Jacqueline
DVD Bonus Footage: Edge vs. Sable
The Breakout Match
Breakdown 1998: Edge vs. Owen Hart
DVD Note: Edge hits a VINTAGE Braden Walker crossbody in the match!
The Ladder Match
No Mercy 1999: Edge & Christian vs. the Hardy Boyz
DVD Bonus Footage: Edge vs. Terri Runnels
The Jugband
Judgment Day 2000: Edge, Christian & Kurt Angle vs. Too Cool & Rikishi
DVD Bonus Footage: Edge in six woman action!
The King of the Ring
King of the Ring 2001: Edge vs. Kurt Angle
DVD Bonus Footage: Edge vs. Karen Angle
The Unified Champion
Survivor Series 2001: Edge vs. Test
DVD Bonus Footage: Edge vs. Stacy Kiebler
The CAGE Match
Smackdown 2002: Edge vs. Kurt Angle in a Cage
DVD Bonus Footage: Edge vs. Val Venis's sister… in a cage!
The Breakout Superstar
Armageddon 2002: Edge vs. A-Train
DVD Bonus Footage: Edge runs a train on Dawn Marie!
The Return
Raw 2005: Edge interrupts a Christy Hemme t-shirt segment
DVD Bonus Footage: Edge hosts a wet t-shirt contest
Matt Hardy
Summer of 2005: Footage of Matt Hardy jobbing to Edge in every major match
DVD Bonus Footage: The original live sex celebration
Live Sex – Rated R Superstar Era Begins
20 minute in-depth slo-mo footage of the Edge/Lita Live Sex Celebration
DVD Bonus Footage: Matt Hardy on suicide watch
And so on and so forth. By the way, if you failed to get the joke, please replace the word "vs." in the DVD Bonus Footage with the word "plowed." Thank you.
Quick N Dirty News
Stolen from all of your favorite dirtsheets.
ECW will move at the end of this month to 9PM.
Thankfully, Scare Tactics will still follow at 10. All I can say is that Tracey Morgan is hilarious and also a descendant of Thomas Jefferson. Plus it sure beats watching Manswers!
Less than 6,000 tickets have been sold for this Sunday's Unforgiven PPV.
What is this a TNA show? Seriously, there's only one man to blame here. And that man is THE Brian Kendrick. But no, I don't want to take that up with his man Zeke.
Mickie James should not be allowed to speak at the Republican National Convention.
Oh wait, that's not news. That's just a fact.
Regarding the Undertaker's Wrestlemania streak, the belief is that an up and coming superstar will benefit from the rub more than an established main eventer. Right now, Ted Dibiase's name is being brought up as the guy who will end the streak.
Meh, personally, I was hoping for Michelle McCool. Oh wait, she's already pinned the Undertaker at Wrestlemania! ZING!
Vince McMahon has told THQ that there are only two wrestlers who cannot be in their upcoming Legends of Wrestlemania game: Macho Man Randy Savage and Mick Foley.
Nope, Savage has not done anything out of the ordinary to piss Vince off. Nothing at all.
Takeshi Morishima is a fatty.
Hey Vince, hire a hot skinny blonde and do a "The King of Queens" gimmick with Morishima. It would be classic I tell you. Classic.
According to Robert Downey Jr, Nick Dinsmore was doomed to fail for going full retard with the Eugene gimmick.
Don't believe him. Look at Tom Hanks, 'Forrest Gump.' Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping-pong competition. That ain't retarded. Eugene went full retard. You never go full retard.
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT… WWE UNFORGIVEN 2008 PREVIEW
Hey look the last time I was here I was previewing Summerslam. Boy does time fly.
UNSANCTIONED MATCH
Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels
And that's that. Clearly, this is a PPV that lives or dies by its gimmick. Considering Pat Patterson was the one who thought of this idea, I would say that there's a good chance that 2 out of the 3 scrambles will be quality. As for the rest of the card, I will still overrate Jericho/Michaels even if Michaels only wrestles with one arm, McCool/Maryse looks like obvious filler, and the tag team match could be a hot opener if the crowd responds. Overall, I applaud the WWE for at least trying to differentiate another PPV especially since the last few Unforgivens were the drizzling shits. Remember last year's main event? Yeah, I didn't think so.
CSONKA will have live coverage starting at 8pm eastern time while you can expect the usual gang with Instant Access after the show.
NEWS FROM O-TOWN
Mick Foley In, Cage/Nash Out, Gail Kim In & Out?
Plenty o' roster moves in TNA:
Mick Foley released a statement today that he has signed a short-term contract with TNA.
I am excited to see what TNA will do with Foley. While he was a fine commentator on Smackdown, it's clearly not how he wanted to spend his time with the WWE. Here's hoping that TNA uses him correctly (as a promo man with limited matches) as Foley can still be a boom for their company. However, if you think that Foley will help TNA past the 1.1 TV rating, I have a waterfront property to sell you.
Christian Cage and Kevin Nash are both 50/50 about staying with TNA. Both will wait to see what the WWE offers them first before deciding.
Nash definitely will be playing hardball with TNA. He's been unhappy recently with some of the booking even though he's in the midst of a main event push. While I don't think the WWE should want to bring back Nash (since he's of little value to them), I can also see them signing Nash just to rub it in TNA's face.
As for Cage, he might actually go back to the WWE. While I know he favors a lighter travel schedule, TNA has been continually adding more dates. I know when I spoke with Hernandez and even Kurt Angle a few weeks back, both mentioned that they were unhappy with the amount of traveling the company is doing. Also, since Christian has left the WWE, the emphasis on a muscular physique has decreased drastically (look at your Raw champion) so he might actually have a better shot at breaking the glass ceiling.
According to the Torch, Gail Kim has reached out to Dixie Carter to see if a better deal can be made so Kim can stay with TNA.
Kim wants to stay with TNA but felt that the company lowballed her (the WWE is willing to triple her current salary). The ball's now in TNA's court and I will be interested to see what happens over the next few days.
Pearl Jam was right: Ticketmaster is the devil!
From the main page, "TNA will be giving away a free DVD that night to every fan attending the September 6 live event in New York City."
Of course, TNA does not state what DVD they are giving away for free. Perhaps, it could be this:
COMING ATTRACTIONS
It feels good to be back! Tune in next week when I unleash a YouTube video that is so scandalous, your ear will burn! Until then…
Meehan's in tomorrow!
For the Thursday Small-For-All News Report, I'm Jeff Small... and you're not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow I acutally had to google Unforgiven 07. Main event was Undertaker vs. Mark Henry. Gross
Posted By: Jones (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 12:07 AM
Reasons Why No one is going to UNFORGIVEN.....
1. No Taker
2. No Edge
3. No Cena
4. Browns Game at 4:15PM
Last but not least THE BRIAN KENDRICK is in the MAIN EVENT....
The Mans a JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!
I live in cleveland and ill be tailgating all day and so will the rest of the city of cleveland....
Posted By: Marco (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 12:26 AM
TED DIBIASE to end Taker' streak.. WTF
Posted By: Sivapc (Registered) on September 04, 2008 at 12:49 AM
Funny funny column, well done.
Posted By: Guest#0692 (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 01:01 AM
crap report.... crap motivation on your part, and um, crap info or entertainment that hasn't been done before on many other columns... you're the Entertainment Tonight of wrestling reporting...
I'm kidding... you suck!!
like Hubbard suckiness... only Hubbard has a focus (even though it's moronic)-- you just seem to throw crap around (while "borrowing" stories from everywhere else) and hope something sticks...
And get rid of the TimberTool w the NY hat... that fuck-nut doesn't deserve or doesn't know shit anything about the yankees......
Posted By: don't like crap (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 01:38 AM
Yes finally the dvd I've been waiting for
Posted By: nanoman (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 02:28 AM
you don't have to be an expert to know the yankees suck and will always suck
Posted By: appl_jacks (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 02:53 AM
"you went to school for four years to watch people's dicks".
He does have a point ya know.
Posted By: The Adamantium Elbow (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 03:19 AM
THE Brian Kendrick is THE reason to watch this PPV.
Posted By: TBK (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 03:46 AM
Yeah, if you want to compete with a Browns game, you have to do it after September, when the fans have lost hope.
Posted By: Meredith Billiters III (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 05:28 AM
Not too good of a job planning a PPV in a football town on opening weekend with a home game.
YOU'RE FIIIIRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEDDDD!!!!!!!
Why you bagging on Daddy JT? I'm sure that look got him over big time and that Latina nightclub at City Walk!
Welcome back.
Posted By: Angry Bear (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 07:10 AM
"Regarding the Undertaker's Wrestlemania streak, the belief is that an up and coming superstar will benefit from the rub more than an established main eventer. Right now, Ted Dibiase's name is being brought up as the guy who will end the streak.
Meh, personally, I was hoping for Michelle McCool. Oh wait, she's already pinned the Undertaker at Wrestlemania! ZING!"
I think if Michelle McCool ever tried to get on top of The Undertaker for more than two seconds his natural instincts would take over and she'd be back to the place she earned her current push from, her back.
Posted By: 17 (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 07:35 AM
You got the titles the wrong way round. Good job :s
Posted By: Hi (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 07:49 AM
why do all the haters continue to read if they don't like it?
you like football better? go watch it.
you like MMA better? go watch it.
you like mating socks in your Mom's basement while your Dad lectures you about getting a job because you're 23? no, you don't like that, but you have to do it.
see? you should do things you like to do when it's your choice, and only do things you don't like when you HAVE to.
In closing, I guess what I'm getting at is, STEP OFF SMALL BITCHES!!!
Posted By: Polish Post (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 07:58 AM
Thank god JT has gone!
WHAMMY!
Posted By: Matt P (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 08:00 AM
Can someone tell me the beef between Savage and VKM
Posted By: Capt oats (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 08:16 AM
Wait, I might have missed an injoke here, but why is Robert Downey Jr commenting on Eugene's gimmick?
Or did you mean Mr. Gellar?
Posted By: Mathew Sforcina (Registered) on September 04, 2008 at 08:24 AM
Marco,
THE BRIAN KENDRICK is going to send Zeke to your house. He'll stare at you until your head explodes.
Posted By: Jake Fury (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 08:24 AM
i want the braden walker dvd =)
Posted By: robb (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 08:31 AM
The great Khali falls to his knees in despair after this rejection ! Well he would have done if they were working !
Posted By: guernseydave (Registered) on September 04, 2008 at 08:34 AM
i hate that "gasolina" reference, you want to hear a worse song than Macho's rap song, try hearing that one...lmfao...
Posted By: Seduso (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 08:41 AM
TED DIBIASE to end Taker' streak.. WTF
Posted By: Sivapc (Registered) on September 04, 2008 at 12:49 AM
Dude, I may watch one episode of RAW a month (if that), and I can already tell that Ted Dibiase has "the look".
Posted By: Stan Lee (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 09:20 AM
I have to disagree with the last post.
This column was pretty good. Good points made.
Posted By: JT (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 09:28 AM
Well, it's like a TNA show, in that like the PPV they ran on the same night in Detroit as a World Series game, Unforgiven is being held in Cleveland on the same day as the Browns opener against the Cowboys.
Posted By: nick (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 09:31 AM
Don't Like Crap,
Please, in the future, before you post something like you did, think a little bit. Articles like this are in no way meant to be serious. They are satirical opinion articles that obviously make fun of "stories from everywhere else." It is meant to make fun of events and happenings in the wrestling world. You're comment is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. You are awarded no points and may God have mercy on your soul.
Posted By: Kegger (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 09:33 AM
How can you claim to not like crap, yet come in here spewing so much of it?
Posted By: Toddo (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 09:45 AM
I don't remember 2007 Unforgiven, but the 2006 version was pretty awesome with the TLC and Hell in a Cell matches
Posted By: Josh (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 10:27 AM
I'm going to watch the Smackdown Scramble match JUST for the chance to see THE Brian Kendrick as champion, if only for a few minutes. So FUCK you, Marco.
Posted By: m8 (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 11:04 AM
THE Brian Kendrick vs THE Undertaker.
Book it!
Posted By: Guest#4895 (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 11:16 AM
No lie, this is the funniest article I've read on this site. Hillarious, this had me in stitches.
Posted By: bighustle (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 11:35 AM
The fact that Taker, Edge, and Cena wont be at Unforgiven, makes it worth going to. Mark Calloway is WAY over the hill. Edge is not a mainevent talent, and is a mother fucker in real life. The only reason he's getting a top spot is due to the amount of crowd heat he's gotten for fucking his friend's girlfriend. Cena is boring in the ring, as well as on the mic. Not to mention his character is directed at 12 year old girls. All 3 of these guys need to quit.
Posted By: MBD (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 11:54 AM
"TED DIBIASE to end Taker' streak.. WTF"
I assum that's referring to Dibiase jr, which makes sense.
Posted By: Guest#1388 (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 11:56 AM
You got the WWE title and World titles mixed up, unless that was intentional
Posted By: Calobar (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 12:23 PM
Nice Tropic Thunder reference there
Posted By: Rick (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 12:41 PM
"4. Browns Game at 4:15PM"
Um...who cares about the Browns?
Posted By: Guest#6079 (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 12:58 PM
I am alive and well.
So whammy to you
Posted By: JT (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 02:32 PM
WTF! No macho man in the new wrestlemania game. It's like vince has to do something to piss us off.
Posted By: machoman (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 03:36 PM
Aaah, Vince. Will you ever stop being 7 years old? You hate Savage for reasons that nobody knows but everybody guesses, and now you're pissed at Foley for leaving because he was doing you a favor by being an announcer for you, and he didn't like you screaming at him how to do it. Your own record as an announcer isn't so great, there, Vinnie Mac. I mean you were better than Adamle in that you knew the wrestler's names. That's about it. So you rob us, the consumer, of two characters in a game I was looking forward to. You think Foley gives a shit that he's not in the game? You think he's worried that you're mad at him? He's not. I gather Savage isn't either. But we who line your pockets might wanna recreate Savage/Steamboat or Taker/Mankind some time. Guess we're fucked now, because Vince's feelings were hurt, so he'll show us. For a marketing genius, you're sometimes not so bright Vince. As for MVP, he should NOT be studying Shelton Benjamin. Shelton smile's because he's a "Naa naa na boo boo, I outsmarted you, ha ha ha" kind of heel. MVP doesn't smile because he's an "I will knock your ass out, and if you get up, I'll knock your ass out again, because I'm straight up ballin' and most importantly, I am BETTER than YOU!!" kind of heel. They're 2 different types of asshole, and they should not act the same because it will cool off both men at a time when they need to be as hot as possible. Wrestlers don't come from cookie cutters. They need to be different from each other, otherwise, they don't matter. You'd think that VINCE MCMAHON of all people would understand that.
Posted By: the Mad Redneck (Registered) on September 04, 2008 at 06:24 PM
Here's my Sunday
Noon: Tailgating, gettin drunk
4pm: Browns vs. Cowboys, gettin drunker
7:30: Run across the street to watch Unforgiven, at my drunkest
Tell me how that's not an awesome day? The cowboys followed by a michaels-jericho epic, I'm surprised more people aren't up for that marathon.
Posted By: JP (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 06:48 PM
I wonder if Undertaker completely no-sells while McCool is on top...
I wonder if afterwards McCool wants to go again, but Undertaker says he can't for a while, only to make a huge comeback later on in the night...
I wonder if when Undertaker lets McCool tie him up, he has a tape running of Michael Cole yelling "I've never seen the Undertaker MANHANDLED like this before" every 5 minutes...
Posted By: JP (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 07:30 PM
No idea how they would bring the feud around, but having Dibiase Jr end the Undertaker streak would be a cool moment. Bring out the original Ted. "My dad brought you IN...and i just took you OUT"
Posted By: Marksman (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 09:17 PM
Sforcina, sounds like you need to see Tropic Thunder....
Posted By: Sexy Steve (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 11:09 PM
Cleveland Browns FTW!
Posted By: natedoggcata (Guest) on September 04, 2008 at 11:59 PM
Such in MVP's character to say something like that.. I could imagine it now:
MVP: YOU WENT TO SCHOOL FOR FOUR YEARS TO STARE AT PEOPLES DICKS? THAT'S JUST ONE REASON I'M BETTER THAN YOU!
Monitor: -stare- I can see one more. -sigh-
Ted Dibiase Jr ending the streak? I think if anybody ends the streak it'll pretty much be nasty repercussions especially in Texas. If nothing else, for all he's done for 18 years, keep UT undefeated at Mania. Besides, Michelle isn't classless enough to go out and demand sex from him in the middle of the ring, because like one guy said he'll escape from being on his back 2 1/2 seconds in. But I think he probably does play a lot of those Coleisms.. probably frequent would be "OHHH MYYYY!" and "LOOK AT THE SIZE OF (giant's name removed for UT to tape over with his own name)" and have Michelle sell it like she's in a porn. I wonder if she wears that godawful looking belt in private with him... -wince-
Posted By: Black Scorpion (Guest) on September 05, 2008 at 01:11 AM
