wrestling / Columns
The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks: 09.12.08
Welcome back, all. And thanks for tuning back in for your regularly scheduled week end dose of intrawebz wrestling optimism. Given the most devastating results of last Sunday’s game against those murderous louts from Kansas City, I’ll stick extra close to WRESTLING NEWS ONLY this week… lest I spew forth a string of expletives that are just about guaranteed to get my sorry ass fired.
Ahem…
Right, so ON WITH THE NEWS!
Rock & Roll.
In this feature, we’ll make a quick note of those mini-news story items that have either already been covered in greater detail by other writers, or that haven’t quite yet materialized into full-blown mega stories of their own. In either case, these items seem to warrant a brief mention nonetheless so that we can keep better tabs on what all’s developing (and — in theory — end up with a better perspective in the long run) along the way.
The Doghouse
Paul Birchill (RAW) – rumored to be “on the chopping block” for unspecified reasons.
Notes: Who’s Cornflakes did Pirate Paul piss in, eh? Once a respectable midcard babyface on Smackdown! (you’ll recall the pirate gimmick, yes?), Birchill was eventually shuffled back down through WWE’s developmental system before redebuting on the red brand as a Cruel Intentions-type heel along with his incestuous pseudo-“sister,” Katie Lea. Flash forward six months later, and Birchill is dropping matches in under a minute and isn’t even getting a televised introduction for his troubles… which never bodes well for anybody not named Funaki. Stay tuned for more as this story continues to unfold.
The Debuts
Manu (RAW) – Son of WWE Hall of Famer Afa The Wild Samoan
Mick Foley (TNA) – Made his TNA debut at a NY-area house show last weekend
Norman Smiley (WWE) – Hired as a trainer for WWE’s developmental system
Jack Swagger (ECW) – formerly Jake Hager of Deep South Wrestling
Notes: As many of y’all saw, Manu made his appearance alongside Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase Jr. at the Unforgiven pay per view and again on RAW the following evening. The house show appearance confirms that Mick Foley will be on TNA television in no time. Smiley is probably an offscreen-talent only (for now, at least), and Jack Swagger made his debut (complete with Jamie Noble’s old music!) on this week’s ECW.
The Departures
Sojourner Bolt (TNA) – Was backstage at WWE Unforgiven PPV
Notes: Turns out that TNA did *not* actually sign Bolt (a.k.a. “Josie” of SHIMMER fame) to a contract prior to pitting her against Awesome Kong on last week’s iMPACT! This made Josie free to attend WWE’s show just several days later, where she was seen visiting friends from various independent promotions in the nearby area (some of whom were tapped to serve as “druids” for the Undertaker’s entrance).
The Drama
Team 3D (TNA) – re-signed TNA contracts to last through 2010.
Mick Foley (TNA) – pulled from WWE’s “Legends of WrestleMania” video game.
Notes: The Team 3D Contract stuff is covered below (complete with video!). As for Foley? He must have really pissed the Vin Man off, as he joins the Macho Man Randy Savage as one of only two former stars explicitly blacklisted from this upcoming WWE video game (though one would assume that Chris Benoit is likely to join them on the “do not include” list). Even if you disagree with WWE’s handling of Benoit in their official company history, certainly one might understand why the company would be hesitant to include and/or market his likeness in any substantial way (i.e. — The Legends of WrestleMania video game) given the fact that we are barely over one year removed from his most heinous and tragic of ends. Savage, of course, remains at odds with Vinny Mac over a longstanding grudge from years gone by (ask around on that one — I’m not touching it with a ten-foot-pole!).
All this said, however, one can’t help but wonder if Vince is merely excluding Foley for the sake of timeliness, simply because he doesn’t want TNA’s newest signee distracting all of the attention as he soaks up all sorts of freebie publicity from a highly promoted WWE video game release. And if that’s the case, you really can’t blame the guy. MeeThinks the Foley/Vince spat is just a blip on the radar o’ ‘rasslin history, folks… and I’m pretty confident that we’ll eventually see the Hardcore Icon back on speaking terms with WWE and its multimedia juggernaut before all is said and done.
The Disabled List
Nathan Jones (TNA) – Reports are circulating that TNA just signed this former WWE performer, but that he is currently rehabbing an injury after being struck by an automobile late last week.
Notes: After leaving WWE, Jones returned home to his native Australia and managed to land a number of semi-high-profile gigs as a powerhouse bad guy in a respectable handful of Hollywood films (likely because studio execs don’t seem to pay too close attention to performance enhancing supplements, actual in-ring ability, OR lactating male nipples). This week, however, it was announced that TNA had offered the guy a contract — which he’d signed just days before getting whacked by an oncoming automobile. Reports say that Jones is banged up from the affair, but is expected to make a full recovery. Where all this leaves his TNA contract is anybody’s guess, of course… but the good news is that the guy seems to be alright after a close call, and that he doesn’t have to worry about rushing back to wrestling just yet (if ever) as he’s made a pretty successful day job out of his time away from the ring.
Chris Jericho Wins World Title
Surprise Entrant to Championship Scramble Leaves Holding Gold
This past Sunday at WWE’s Unforgiven PPV, World Champion CM Punk found himself the victim of a viscious four-man assault at the hands of former WWE Champion Randy Orton, the newly debuting Manu, and WWE Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase. With Punk “injured” (in kayfabe terms, at least — all reports indicate that the guy is a.o.k.), RAW General Manager Mike Adamle was left with no choice but to strip the champion of his title, and to name a surprise replacement in his place for the Championship Scramble match scheduled later that evening.
That man, of course, was none other than Chris Jericho.
In spite of the fact that he had suffered a tremendous beating of his own (courtesy of one Shawn Michaels) earlier in the same evening, a sore-and-still-selling-it Jericho would go on to win the Championship Scramble thanks to a last-second stroke of luck by night’s end, making him the new World Champion as WWE rolled into RAW the following night.
Now then —
There have been a number of people all in a huff over how all WWE handled this particular development in not one but two of their highest profile storylines. By and large, these complaints have fallen into one of four camps:
1) “CM PUNK WAS ROBBED!” He lost a title without even being pinned!
2) “CM PUNK LOOKS LIKE A WUSS!” Sidelined from a main event with just one kick!?
3) “SHAWN MICHAELS LOOKS LIKE A BITCH!” Y2J’s main event appearance rendered the earlier match’s injuries meaningless.
4) “WWE WASTED TWO MAJOR ANGLES BY COMBINING THEM!” Throwing Jericho and HBK in the title hunt only steals the spotlight from RAW’s remaining top-level challengers.
Of course, it probably bears noting that the great majority of each of these four gripes all seem come from the same typically jaded superfanboys who don’t ever much seem to like, well, just about anything WWE happens to serve up their way. But ignoring that fact for a quick second, let’s take a quick second to debunk each argument on a point-by-point basis:
1) “CM PUNK WAS ROBBED!” — If you’re actually whining that a FAKE wrestler was “robbed” of a FAKE title thanks to a last-second substitution by a FAKE and HEELish authority figure? Then you, sir, are a “mark” in the truest sense of the word. WWE *wants* us to be peeved that Jericho scored a lucky break, and they *want* us to get behind the Punker on account of the fact that the man was never actually pinned yet he still lost his gold. This, folks, is what we in the ‘rasslin business like to call a “storyline” — so relax, eh?
2) “CM PUNK LOOKS LIKE A WUSS!” — Far from it, if you ask Mee. Not only has Orton’s “punt” kick been made to look absolutely crippling in months past (just ask Shawn Michaels, John Cena, and countless others), but his sudden (and tenuous) alliance with not one, not two, but THREE other superstars certainly goes a long way in selling the credibility of *any* and all offense that the man was able to dish out. Punk didn’t look like a wuss or “go out like a bitch,” he took one hell of a beating (and managed to put INCREDIBLE heat on four new-or-newly-returning stars in the process). This lends itself to a ton of possibilities as we move forward with any and all combinations of these folks in the weeks to come (giving Punker something to do in order to build some serious cred while he continues to chase for the belt he never lost).
Heck, we even got a cameo brawl-stopping-attempt from fellow up-and-comer in Kofi Kingston!
Can you say Punk/Kofi/Cryme Tyme vs. Orton and the Next Generation for Survivor Series?
3) “SHAWN MICHAELS LOOKS LIKE A BITCH!” — Two words for that one: Bull, and shit. Go back and watch the replay of the World Championship Scramble match, and then go back and watch Jericho’s promo to open the show on Monday night. Jericho sold his ass off both in the match and after the fact, and his body most clearly has the scars and bruises to prove that HBK did some serious damage regardless of how lucky his opponent may have been able to snake away in the end. Plus, this newfound wrinkle of Shawn “crossing the line” (as seen on Michaels’ face when he finished his match) while Y2J is “rewarded” with a title reign throws the door WIDE open for a reprisal of this feud once the Heart Break Kid is back to full strength.
“Justice is served, but at what cost?”
Meanwhile…
“Evil triumphs in spite of good.”
That’s Batman-versus-Joker shit, people. Serious good stuff. And there are no two performers better equipped to tell that tale then Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho.
4) “WWE WASTED TWO MAJOR ANGLES BY COMBINING THEM!” — Disagree. If anything, WWE shook things up by mixing their two hottest angles into one big powder keg. By this simple twist of fate, a good half-dozen or so of RAW’s biggest names suddenly find themselves with an incredible array of high-profile feuds.
Punk can go after Jericho (for the gold), or Punk can go after Orton (for revenge).
Jericho can sneak by Punk (for the gold), or Jericho can await HBK’s return (for revenge).
Orton can fend off Punk (for spite), or Orton can side with Rhodes/DiBiase/Manu (for the “legacy”)
Rhodes/DiBiase/Manu can battle Punk/Kofi/etc. (for Randy’s respect), or they can battle Orton himself (to cement their trio as the next gen of main eventers)
And this just scrapes the tip of the iceberg, folks.
Bottom line?
RAW’s main event shakeup leaves fans with a wide array of credible storylines as we move into the traditionally busy fall season. With summer behind us and a WrestleMania that needs crafting, this new cast of characters and their sudden multitude of matchups can really pay off in the form of some serious WrestleMania paydays.
Team 3D Re-signs with TNA
Legendary Tag Team to Stay Through 2010
Good news for TNA fans this week, as Brother Ray and Brother Devon officially inked their new deals with the promotion to remain a part of the roster through 2010.
While we discussed the possibility of the former Dudleyz heading out of TNA and back to WWE last week, it’s most definitely good news to see the Boys sticking with the promotion where tag team wrestling is still alive and well. Though many of their fueds with existing TNA tag acts have already been exhausted (Motor City Machine Guns, LAX), the fact that TNA offered these guys two-year contract extensions (and presumably lucrative enough ones at that) seems to indicate that the promotion is serious about keeping the tag ranks alive for at least the forseeable future.
I’m not going to go as far as to suggest that the Team 3D re-signing with TNA will spark a full-on resurgence of tag team wrestling all across the continent, mind you… but it is most definitely a promising sign for the future of tag team wrestling that at least one major North American promotion is willing to plunk down the coin and retain a cornerstone for such a division for the next two years solid. When motivated and booked properly (read: as heels), Team 3D has been fantastic in their TNA tenure thus far. TNA has proven willing to take risks with their tag ranks, and Team 3D has been used brilliantly in their feuds against some of TNA’s hottest up-and-coming teams over the past three years (in sequence: Team Canada, LAX, and the MCMG’s). As such, there’s no reason to believe that the next generation of newly-formed TNA tag tandems wouldn’t likewise benefit from extended programs against Brother Ray and Brother DeVon.
Wildcat Chris Harris Returns to NWF
Fresh Off His WWE Release, Harris Starts from Square One
Well, I suppose there’s something to be said for starting over, eh?
Dunno’ how much of Harris’ new “gimmick” is pure fiction and how much of it is honest-to-goodness lack of passion, but the long and short of things is that the former Wildcat has most certainly found himself on the outs with both major North American professional wrestling promotions, and he’s going to have to work his ass off if he’s ever going to stand a chance at being rehired in the future. While I’ll commend the guy for coming clean and fessing up to a lack of passion (or working a unique angle out of a real-life misfortune), I can’t help but wonder if the whole “mainstream washout who doesn’t want it bad enough” gimmick might pose more than a few obstacles on down the line. Basically — if *you* yourself admit to having lost your passion and phoned it in in the past, why should *we* the fans give you our support as you work your way back up the ladder o’ success?
Of course, Harris could gradually evolve from “big-name washout with no passion” to “independent darling with a newfound fire” (which could actually work, come to think of it — just ask Mickey Rourke)… but the bottom line is that after two high-profile flakeouts, the Wildcat will certainly have to EARN fan respect and appreciation at every step of the way.
And With That, I’m Outta’ Here
This is usually the part of the column where I’d throw in a gratuitous plug for my beloved New England Patriots. Sadly, out season seems to have taken a turn for the disasterous last week, and so I’ll kindly refrain from any and all smack-talking against those dreaded J-E-T-S (Jets! Jets! Jets!) and their equally formidable crew of superfans — lest I be forced to eat those words next week, yes? Till then, enjoy the weekend and the TNA PPV, and always stay positive — injuries or no!
– Meehan
