Truth B Told 9.18.08: Don’t Hate The Playa…

Posted by Bayani Domingo on 09.18.2008

…hate the TNA Impact! game. $60 for TNA’s first foray into the video game world, is it worth it? Plus a little talk about their first ever West Coast Swing and how a three day tour could impact the rest of SoCal wrestling F-O-R-E-V-E-R. Or at least a long weekend.


Recently PWG announced the line-up to their 9/21 show which included long awaited returns from Bryan Danielson and Davey Richards. They had laid down flyers at the Dragon Gate show in Bell Gardens and it was fairly anticipated. Then a few days later PWG changed their mind quicker than your girlfriend on her rag. Only PWG didn't even offer to give you a consolation "handy" till her aunt left town. PWG announced that there had been an agreement reached for the days that the Battle of Los Angeles would be held on October 31st, November 1st, and November 2nd. As a result they were cancelling their 9/21 show, presumably to save some cash in anticipating of all the fly-ins they'd be doing. Part of the reason given was that they worked out a deal for some Dragon Gate wrestlers to participate and that was the agreed upon dates. Then all of a sudden a few days after TNA announced the dates and locations of their first ever West Coast House Show tour. It just happened to be on those exactly same dates: 10/1 in Ontario, 11/1 in Anaheim, and 11/2 in Bakersfield. Clearly they were thinking if "Not Rated" Pro Wrestling can rock Bakersfield than a little more TnA wouldn't hurt. Seriously…what happened to NRPW and where is my free porno DVD to ...um…"review"? Cheapskates.

Funny things is that just 3 days after they announced their plans for BoLA '08 PWG released another statement telling fans to not book their travel arrangements quite yet as they were considering trying to move BoLA again in light of the TNA announcement. The fact that they didn't have a clue as to the TNA shows previously is just a bit mind boggling and unfortunate. So now we're stuck in a "wait and see" situation as PWG fans are trying to figure out just what their plans are supposed to be a month and a half from now. While TNA has been planning their West Coast Tour for quite some time it seems like PWG has been waffling as to when and where they would be holding BoLA. Originally slated for late August it was moved due to their inability to secure the talent they wanted to book. There is a legitimate worry with PWG that the TNA shows could cut into their "gate" and considering that Bakersfield and Ontario may not hurt them too much on Nights 1 and 3, but Anaheim's show on Saturday could cut into attendance by as much as maybe 15 to 25% they may have a legitimate worry. Likewise TNA could lose up to 100 to 200 people for their shows if fans choose PWG over their own House Shows. Seems like someone is working inside of a vacuum here, but I'm not sure who it is.

I've addressed this in a column before but it seems like many companies operate too independently of each other. Fact is TNA could use some help by PWG in promoting their show in exchange for allowing a wrestler or two to work BoLA. PWG could use a show or their website and influence at other small Indy shows to help put out flyers or get the word out about the House Shows and in exchange TNA could let the MCMG's, Styles, Daniels, Samoa Joe, or even one of the guys that has never worked PWG like Sonjay Dutt, Jay Lethal, or Consequences Creed work at BoLA for a night or two. The downside is that someone would have to move their proposed show dates. Considering how shaky PWG has been with keeping their schedule it would probably be them. Say move it a week or two either way and I think that would be just fine. The problem is now that these two shows are going to hurt each other by running on the exact same days.

The worst case is going to be on Night 2 of BoLA which coincides with the Anaheim show that is fairly central to PWG's main fan base. My guess is that Night 2 of BoLA and the Bakersfield show will be the lowest attendance for both respective companies because the Anaheim venue is very tempting for most PWG fans and if there was a night to miss it would be the sandwich show and those Indy fans who are PWG fans will be unlikely to miss the BoLA finals which takes place when TNA is in Bakersfield. Plus…it's Bakersfield…people will find any reason to leave that God forsaken city. It's like every backdrop for the "Resident Evil" video game, only the nurses aren't as hot. While it makes perfect sense for PWG to move their proposed dates, which might further piss off a few fans, but let's face it, it's BoLA and most fans will get over it. There is a bigger problem, PWG moved their dates recently to accommodate the inclusion of Dragon Gate wrestlers. My guess is that if PWG wants more than maybe 1 or 2 wrestlers from Dragon Gate they are going to have to stand firm with the 10/31 – 11/2 dates. Then again if TNA and PWG can work out some kind of arrangement where PWG moves their shows and helps promote the TNA shows then they will be allowed to book however many TNA wrestlers they would need to fill in the gap left by DG wrestlers not being booked. My guess is 3 or 4 would do. Sounds like a great compromise. Too bad it will never happen.

While clearly there has been some collaboration in the past with TNA in terms of booking wrestlers, including surprising cameos by both Alex Shelley at BoLA '07 and Kazarian at ‘Dia de la dangerous' for instance. The two companies haven't been able to collaborate on much else since it was announced that TNA contracted wrestlers would be unable to appear on PWG DVDs and hence would no longer be working in the company. with the expansion of house shows to the West Coast I would believe that TNA would want to keep their wrestlers exclusive more than ever and that they wouldn't be as concerned with the potential loss in attendance from PWG running the same nights as PWG would. I think that is truly a big mistake however because even losing 100 fans on any given night to a competitor may have an impact on the overall revenue for TNA. The next question will be whether the economics of ticket prices will come into play and if PWG or TNA will cut the cost of tickets in order to try and lure over fans if both companies run the same night. It would be a "win" for the fans who already made up their minds as to which show they would want to see, but also a loss because you are still going to miss out on something.

As a loycal PWG fan I understand that BoLA is usually the biggest and arguably the best show of the year, however I've heard so many good things about TNA house shows and have been anticipating seeing them live for myself. The lure of watching them in Anaheim is pretty strong and depending on what the roster of participants and the bracketing looks like for BoLA I may sandwich a trip in between Nights 1 and 2. What is difficult is the situation where you have two very important events happening simultaneously and there is only so much time for one or the other. The best case scenario in my mind is for someone to blink and agree to move the date of their show in exchange for some "compensation". I don't see that happening because each company has to look out for their own interests as well as the whole issue of "pride". Well pride is a muthafucka. Let's just hope something gets worked out and soon because there actually are a few of us who have better things to do than hit "Refresh" on a message board all day. Not me…but I know a guy.

TNA Impact! video game B-view

I was pretty damned excited last Tuesday when I realized that the TNA game had been released and I was sitting on a cool $55 in Best Buy gift certificates from the previous B-day haul. I wasted no time in picking that puppy up and popping it into my Xbox 360 when I got home and was fairly impressed with the opening sequence as I gripped the controller into my paws tighter than Kane's tights after the 3rd helping at the craft service table. At first I took a moment to look at the instruction manual before I played my first game. I was Samoa Joe and I decided to wrestler Shark boy since he seemed like an easy target. After I got my ass handed to me in 2 minutes I took another look at the control instructions and tried again. This time I was AJ. Unfortunately that Shark boy is one tough son of a bitch and the "Phenomenal One" was met with the same fate as Joe. This time I choose Kurt Angle and took another 5 minutes to thoroughly check out each and every controller configuration and…that f'N Shark boy is like John Cena's booking. Un-f'N-Stoppable. I had the feeling this would be a long night.

Well I can honestly say that it took around 20 hours of game play and I've finally mastered the lowest possibly level on the game. The game gives you three levels to play on: Backyarder, Indy, and Pro. Kind of a cool "smarky" way to say; Easy, Medium, and Hard. I've finally gotten to the point where I can advance to the "Indy" level and feel confident I can put up a few wins. I'm like the Rhett Titus of this video game, only I can't lay claim to laying Daizee Haze's "claim", so to speak. I tell you though, there are some good and bad of this game, and considering that I only really play wrestling games, sports games, and the occasional fighting game, this one almost made me throw my controller through my new TV. Or at least threaten to hunt down the people at Midway and beat them to death my old foam Incredible Hulk hands. Nothing more brutal than being beaten to death and feeling your life slipping from the world while "Hulk Smash!!" is repeatedly being blared into your now swollen face. I'm not a "gamer" per say, but I'm a wrestling geek, and for some reason this game seemed to really miss the mark on both fronts.

I figured I'd rip off the 411mania format of game reviewing since no one else has done it yet (okay, that was true right before I had already finished this up on Weds, thanks a lot Campbell). I'm hoping to either save some of you from blowing your cash or encouraging you to spend some more money towards making TNA profitable so they can manage to sign Kevin Nash for another year of fascinating and heart warming story telling from "Big Sexy" himself. Oh, he might actually wrestle a match or two as well, but that's just icing on the cake right? C'mon kids, another 10,000 units and Nash is as good as signed:

Excuse my crude and possibly "unprofessional" reviewing skills here as I don't really review video games. I'm just a dude who likes wrestling and the occasional girl-on-girl-on-guy-on-girl-on-Spider Monkey adult film. I don't know the difference between a pixel and a pixie stick. Other than it's got to be a son of a bitch to do a line of coke off a hooker through a pixel.

Ready? Okay…..



Gameplay: 5.5

I'm not sure what "gameplay" means exactly, but I can tell you that my hands and fingers are sore as hell from trying to play this game and beat the story mode. I have more calluses on my hands now than JT after the 2nd Season of Dancing with the Stars. I literally got stuck for 2 hours trying to get past one single jobber dressed up like Austin Starr from the CAW menu on the Ultimate X mode. The game on "Backyarder" is hard as hell because it seems like the computer is playing totally "rudo". My opponents would do three times more damage to me with the same moves I used on them, they would take no more than 5 seconds to get back up after I delivered a devastating move sending them off the cables to the mat below, they reversed 50% of my attacks and grapples, and pretty much treated me like a ring rat at an XPW show. Sans the "golden shower".

I've dated women in LA that are less shallow than this game's roster. What's worse is that they waste 5 slots on nobodies that include 3 CAWS and two announcers. Most of the wrestlers have the right finishing moves, except I don't remember the "8 second ride" looking like it does in the game and there are several wrestlers with finishers that are either transition moves, like Shark boy using the Rude Awakening instead of the Dead Sea Drop and Alex Shelley using the Kryptonite Krunch instead of the Sliced Bread or the "Shellshock" even though they call the KK the "Shellshock". They also have Senshi using the Dragon Suplex as a finisher instead of the Ki-Krusher. Some real oversights in my opinion.

Worse than all that is that they make you go through the entire Story mode to unlock a third of the roster as you start with: AJ, Joe, Angle, Sting, Christian, Booker T, Rhino, Robert Roode, Shark Boy, Daniels, D'Von, Hernandez, Homicide, Sabin, and Shelley, Storm, and Steiner. That wouldn't be so bad if the story mode wasn't as hard as it was, at least for me. The problem is that you can unlock 8 other wrestlers. Jeff Jarrett, Abyss, Tomko, Brother Ray, Eric Young, Sonjay Dutt, and Senshi are all reasonable wrestlers to have. Even Kevin Nash, who wrestles in a polo shirt and jeans (Casual Friday), and the "Suicide" character are reasonable as unlockable characters. But then they waste space in the game on creating Don West, an ICP rip-off, and someone called ‘Afro Thunder' or so I'm told. They even have a special code for Mike Tenay (or so I've read, but I still don't know what it is). So instead of including Jimmy Rave, Lance Hoyt, Kaz, Consequences Creed, Petey Williams, Matt Morgan, or any of the Knockouts, you get a couple of fake jobbers. WTF?? Who the HELL wants to play as Tenay, West, or a random ass clown? Seriously? Who says, "man, my DREAM match is Tenay and West vs LAX in an Ultimate X match…I would SOOOO mark out for that?" Jeremy Borash, that's who.

You can't even create really any of the other wrestlers you might want that may or may not be "Downloadable Content" later on for a price because the movesets and choices in the Create-A-Wrestle menu are so limited. Just horrible. The "Story Mode" is only playable with the Suicide character so don't bother dreaming about taking Eric Young to the TNA World Title because you can't. There also aren't any Championship modes either. The game play was a bit lacking and non-sensical at times considering that Eric Young and Don West could powerbomb Abyss, but you get used to it. The shallowness of the game however is inexcusable. I've seen more depth in a Hilton sister.

Graphics: 9.0

This is where the game gets some of those points back as it is visually the best looking wrestling game I have ever seen. The wrestlers are dead ringers in the game for their real life counterparts the moves look flawless and the animation is spot on. There isn't some of the awkward clunkiness of the early SDvsR games and the moves when pulled off look so realistic and the animated wrestlers land exactly how they would in real life. the stadiums and crowds all look very good and they even managed to cut the length of the entrances so that they last half as long as the usual SDvsR ones do. The one problem was that although the entrances looked spot on the entrance videos that would usually play in the background on the screens above the ramps didn't have anything on it. Otherwise the game itself looks absolutely great and realistic. It's between a "sim" and "arcade" but whatever it is I like it. I only wish they did what SDvsR did during screen loads where you got pictures of scantily clad divas. They couldn't do that with the Knockouts? Maybe some seductive pics of Angelina Love and Velvet Sky? Raisha Saeed on a bear skin rug with only a veil to cover her lips and her…lips. Then a picture of Amazing Kong actually killing and eating the aforementioned bear with her own hands. But sexily.

Sound: 8.0

The sound was surprisingly good even if some of the music was a bit outdated and hard to hear in some cases. Some of the wrestlers had their real entrance music and some had some generic sounding back-up. Like any other game the announcer's canned commentary got a little tired, but what do you expect? The sound effects are actually very good although the voice acting leaves something to be desired in the story mode. Also as weird as it seems I would actually guess that the voice of "Suicide" is actually Low Ki. But someone will have to confirm that.

Lasting Appeal: 5.5

I will be playing this game until I get all of the moves and characters and someone figures out how to get me Mike Tenay so I can let Tomko beat him into an oblivion with 147 big boots. After that it probably won't be in my xBox except for when the Downloadable Content comes out for a week or so. Then again it won't get any less play than my old SDvsR games. My guess is that this is a 1 month game tops including when the DLC comes out.

Fun Factor: 6.5

This game is a lot like dating. Sure it's all fun in the beginning during the "feeling out" period. Everything is fresh and new, you've just trying to figure out which buttons to push, which you shouldn't. you've not sure of what moves are going to work and whether or not you should ask about that bottle of Valtrex that fell out of her purse at your place. Then as you get further in and commit yourself to the "story mode" you begin to get frustrated. Your old moves aren't working, you are stuck on this treadmill unable to advance for long periods of time, eventually you move on but another obstacle presents itself to further frustrate you like a month of periods. Then when you think you are about to get to that next level and even closer to the end you make one tiny mistake and you've back to the old drawing board. Like the first time she gives you head and you conveniently forget to warn her before hitting your "finisher" and you're on a very long and lonely "30 Day Probation" for your "first violation" of the "Swallowness Policy". But eventually you reach the end…you've gotten to what you believe is the peak of the mountain and you realize you've still another 650,000 style points from getting the "Canadian Destroyer" in CAW mode. You've mastered all the moves you have but now you've stuck toiling away on "Exhibition Mode" just to get those last few moves you might really want and you feel like you're going through the motions. The game just feels like it's a chore till you get that last big "prize" and is only broken up by a few tiny "treats" like new moves or random Clown characters. Like when you first convince her to dress up like a Japanese School girl, or get her real drunk and she let's you do it in the butt. For me the "Canadian Destroyer" is like the "threesome with Megan Fox" of this game and once I have it I'm pretty sure I'll lose all interest in it. Sure it has it's moments, but now it's just becoming a chore.

Value: 6.0

I wish I didn't spend $60 on this game. Wait…I didn't…I spent $9 including my gift certificates. Actually that isn't true since that $55 could have been spent on something else so while I didn't consider it "out of pocket" it's still money. If I had spent like $40 on this game or less I'd be okay with the game, but at $60 I can't really recommend it. I'd call this a "rental" but then you'd have to play this for an entire week just to unlock everything and even then you wouldn't get any of the DLC.

Overall Score: 6.75 - Slightly Above Average

Don't get me wrong, I think this is a very good start. The graphics, the flow, and the overall appeal of an expanding roster via DLC (albeit not free) is very good. The problem is that there are too many weird glitches, a very shallow CAW menu, and very few actual match types that makes keeps this game from being able to really blow away SDvsR or really even compete. The fact that wrestling fans were expecting something at least on par with the latest SDvsR innovations due to so many wrestlers/gamers involved in making this that it will tend to disappoint wrestling game veterans. A good start, but not quite there. If TNA is releasing a second game soon then let's hope they take some extra time to address the complaints, do a market test and talk to some actual players. For $60 you aren't going to be happy with the finished result, but with a kick ass coupon or a timely price cut then this would be an entertaining game. Maybe in a few months when it hits the "Greatest Hits" bin you'll feel a bit better about buying it. I don't regret buying the game...but I would have at full price. Yikes. Oh well, back to beating the crap out of Shark Boy on my way to unlocking Afro Thunder. Payback's a bitch Sharky.

The Truth

Look, PWG and TNA have to figure something out because they have some very important shows coming up in another 6 weeks and they better get them right. PWG needs to have a big BoLA to make up for some of the chaos from earlier this year and tie it all together and TNA needs to make their most Western tour to date successful. TNA's ability to draw in new fans and create a viable House Show circuit is imperative for them to grow and thrive in the coming year and hopefully start creeping up past 1.3 and 1.4 in the ratings. Hopefully the two companies can come to some agreement because I do believe that the people that run both companies can be reasonable when it comes to business. Dixie Carter can't be oblivious to the fact that PWG exists and they do share some of the same fan base, just as the PWG owners have admitted by even considering moving BoLA to another date to accomodate the fans. I'm not 100% that an agreement will be reached, but this isn't the "e" and nobody can be totally oblivious to what the "Johnsons" are doing next door. Chances are that if one company has to blink it will be PWG first. Which is fine, but they better not go down without a fight. Hey, maybe PWG can agree to move their shows in exchange for that damn Mike Tenay code. No? What a shot at booking Stone Cold Shark Boy then?

Coming Up Short

Oh my GOD…they killed Kenny!! You Bastards!! It looks like now Festus and Jesse will now be called "Future Endeavors" because they might be taking on a role that is in a Kayfabe sense, become the "hatchet men". They already wrapped up Kenny and I hear tell *SPOILER* that it may not be the last young man they repo. It just goes to show that with so many young wrestlers debuting and the "e" only being able to really push and keep the fans interested in just a few that they have oversaturated the market with face-less rookies without a push. If you "Don't have anything" for a wrestler…then don't bring him up!! Is that really that difficult to comprehend? Oh well, at least we have Dick Ziggler on his way up to RAW right? That's his name isn't it? Ralph Diggler? Zak Dolphin? Damn it…someone needs to stop watching "I love the 80's" looking for new names for FCW call-ups. The definition of "coming up short" is firing the "talent" for "creative" not having anything creative to do for them instead of firing "creative".

6 Degrees of…



I think we can all agree that the era of 6DO is winding to a close. Who knows what other segment will take it's place. Well I haven't given up quite yet so this week we'll give it one more go with everyone's favorite two chemically fueled entertainers…Jake "The Snake" Roberts and Amy "Skid Row" Winehouse.



They tried to make me go to rehab, but I took, BLOW, BLOW, BLOW.

Whatchu talkin' bout readers?

Is it Megan Fox? I bet it's Megan Fox. It's Megan Fox isn't it?

6 Degrees Results

This cupboard is bare.

Left Overs…

For those wondering what Daivari's finishing move will be in TNA I'm not really sure but I do know he used to use a move called the "Magic Carpet Ride" that involves a top rope splash while holding a carpet underneath him. The move was actually innovated by Lita some number of years ago, but didn't involve any top rope moves and rarely resulted in a "clean finish".

I'm hoping that "Super Eric" renames his Double DVD finisher into the "2-Disc Set".

So wait…So Cal Val went "Black"…and then went back? WTF??

No truth to the rumor that Pete Rose will be an unlockable character in "Legends of Wrestlemania" video game. Rumor had it that you had to win 5 tag team matches in a row with Jeff Hardy and his most successful tag partner: "Tall Places to Jump From".

TNA "Creative" is kicking around the idea of forming an intergender tag team consisting of Kevin Nash and ODB. The plans are to call them: Diesel Dyke.

I was at a farmer's market in Santa Monica on Sunday and some guy tried to give me a "Jewish Calendar" for free. I passed it up because I assumed it wasn't only going to be like 325 days long, since I knew they'd try to ‘Jew' me out of at least a couple weeks.

My idea for getting Scott "Colt Cabana" Goldman out of his losing streak is pairing him with a newly muscled Billy Kidman in a "Hardbody Hebrew" type gimmick known as: The Chabad-y Donnas.

Something tells me that an "odd couple" tag team between Khali and Sonjay Dutt could last for pretty much ever without ever falling apart or having one guy turn against the other. I just can't see there being any "beef" between those two.

The Great Booty Debate 2008

This week's contest is not for the diabetic. This week we have Latina Paola Corvea vs the cake eating Lin Si Yee. Makes you want to go into a sugar coma doesn't it?

Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



Cakes looks good…but I'd rather have ‘pie'.

Random Latina Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



How many licks does it take? The IWC may never know.

Anyone know what Davey Richards calls his GTS variation where he just kicks the guy in the head on the way down from a throwing fireman's carry? Is it the "Take a Nap"? "Nyquil"? "Hit the Snooze"? Someone has to name that thing already.

I decided the other day that anyone I see wearing a "Tap Out", "UFC", or any other MMA related t-shirt out in public should be open to receiving a "Superman Punch" or flying knee from anyone. I figure it's gotta be like false advertising if they aren't actually in MMA. That's like just hanging around a hospital in scrubs and a mask and telling people, "I just like the breeziness of the pants…room for the ‘boys' to roam and all".

Salinas, aka Shelly Martinez, quit TNA right before the PPV because they wouldn't give her a pay raise in exchange for not doing a movie in Italy. Shelly was pretty much a giant rack attached to a hood rat and is pretty easily replicable in the grand scheme of things. However after her movie with Jewel De'Nyle it's not hard to figure out what kind of "movie" she'll be shooting. Some early bets for the name of this "Indie Art Film" are: That's a'whore, The Leaning Towers of Pleaza, Hold the Sausage, and of course…Big Wet Asses 19….wait for it….INTERNATIONAL.

Pimpin' In High Places

Summer is ending and many of our writers are heading back to school to complete their degrees. It's noble work really, I mean, how can you expect to get ANYWHERE in this business without the proper GED right?:

Ask 411

RRRR

HH

CoH

Bond

Threat^3

So as you may have noticed I wasn't piledriven into oblivion last week so apparently "Scrap Iron" Adam Pearce was pleased with my explanation of my "banning" reference in regards to PWG. Well I figured I outta go ahead and pimp out his Ring of Honor appearances this weekend:

ROH PAY PER VIEW TAPING
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 19TH 2008 - BOSTON, MA

- NWA World Heavyweight Champion Brent Albright & Erick Stevens vs. Adam Pearce & Eddie Edwards with Larry Sweeney

GLORY BY HONOR VII
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 20TH, 2008 - PHILADELPHIA, PA

- NWA World Heavyweight Title: Brent Albright (c) vs. Adam Pearce

So is Adam Pearce a happy man right now? You be the judge:



The man was so upset about losing his belt to Brent Albright that he refuses to wear any other belt till he wins that one back. Seriously. He's been rockin' nothing but draw string cargo shorts and elastic band pants ever since. ‘Tis a bold fashion statement. Bold indeed.

Till then, the Truth will set you free.
-B