The Wrestling Doctor 09.23.08: Your Suggestions, the Doctor's Responses

Posted by W.S. Thomason on 09.23.2008

Reader suggestions with 800 times more originality than the last dozen episodes of Raw.

THE WRESTLING DOCTOR: THE PRESCRIPTION FOR WHAT AILS

THIS WEEK'S PATIENT: YOUR QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS
Last week I put out the call for suggestions for issues to diagnose. Some of the responses appear this week, and others may pop up in the next few columns.

1. I'd like to see you diagnose ROH. I don't really think it's sick, but what ideas do you have to help it grow and prosper.
- Brian Ate the Sider

I'm not sure if Brian meant that he ate the spider (maybe it looked juicy) or the slider (maybe it also looked juicy). Possibly he ate a spider slider. Or someone who installs siding. Maybe that guy looked juicy.

I do not regularly write about ROH because I really am not all that familiar with the product. I do, however, think that the key for ROH in the next few years will be more from the business side than the wrestling side. They have a loyal, niche audience, which can carry them a long way provided that they do not split from what made those fans so rabidly loyal in the first place. ROH seems to have figured out what it is they do best – straightforward, hard-hitting wrestling – instead of trying to compete for the bigger mainstream audience of the WWE. TNA has not figured this out, hence each week's Impact.

Ring of Honor has been smart by expanding into pay-per-view through taped shows instead of live shows. Live broadcasts cost loads of coin, and ROH cannot afford that right now. More importantly, they know that they cannot afford it. The ROH audience does not care if they read PPV spoilers before the event airs – they want to see the show for the action, not just for the outcome.

I do think that ROH should seriously consider a weekly, half-hour, magazine style web cast show. Web casts are cheaper to produce than television shows, plus ROH would not have to haggle with a network that would inevitably want a WWE knockoff. The ROH audience tends to be young and internet-savvy, so a web cast would work for such a niche audience while it did not function so well for the WWE's Heat and other such attempts. A web cast could generate extra web site hits, which in turn would generate more revenue, which would result in more opportunities for ROH to grow.

ROH already has plenty of matches under the multimedia section of their web site, but those are from various periods and cannot be grouped together as a proper whole. A weekly half-hour magazine style show would fit in well with ROH's live date schedule, the formula of which has been crucial to maximizing their limited resources. A magazine show would allow ROH to cull matches and storylines from its various cards, many of which are already taped. ROH is half way to a web cast show with their current approach anyway, so such a move would be a big yet fiscally responsible step for them. With today's affordable web and film technologies and some paint on a dry-wall backdrop, they could tape the studio segments in Gabe Sapolsky's basement.

Web casts may very well be the future of wrestling to some degree. In the late seventies, skeptics and experts decreed that cable was doomed for failure because nobody would pay for television. The WWF capitalized on cable to expand nationally and change the face of wrestling five years after those pundits declared that the entire system could never survive. Web casts may not be big now, but in five years they could very well be gigantic.

The Internet is a great resource that can equalize the gaps between big players and smaller ventures. Music has proven that already, and films to a certain extent. ROH could benefit by using this tool to expand.

Great suggestion, Brian. Now be sure to properly wash down whatever it is you ate with a beverage of your choosing.

2. I think you should return to some earlier thoughts you had on ring sizes other than the traditional square. Personally, I feel that "the Pentagon" is an underused ring shape. Perhaps TNA could do a PPV event in Washington D.C. that features "The Pentagon" as the primary ring for the matches at that event.
- F. Marion

I assume that you are referring to my suggestion in the first edition of The Wrestling Doctor calling for an end to TNA's six-sided ring.

"The Pentagon" could host traditional-style wrestling in the lower part and more modern, spot-style in the upper part. If the old D.C. Armory is still standing, then this could be a possibility for TNA. I am very open to suggestions for politically related titles for the show. Tickets would definitely have to be cost-plus.

I personally am waiting for the rhombus ring, which I also expect to come from TNA. I seriously hope that Vince Russo does not read this column.

3. I've had this idea for a couple of years now. How I would tweak Survivor Series. This ppv has just been turned into a regular ppv. It was at one time a unique ppv (sort of) with just the elimination matches. Now we might get one or two survivor matches. How would I change it? Here goes:

It would be part Survivor Series, part lethal lottery, part bunkhouse stampede, and maybe a little of the hardcore title 24-7 rule.

First, have the ppv be elimination matches again but with one twist. You do a lethal lottery type drawing for the teams so you don't know who is teaming with who and who they are going against. Of course don't have the teams be drawn until the night of the show, maybe starting on the pre-show.

Second, there would be a bunkhouse stampede for the main event involving all the wrestlers who weren't eliminated. They did something similar once but it was just a heels vs. faces survivor match.

Then have a title shot or choose your spot in the Royal Rumble for the winner of the bunkhouse stampede, aka, The Survivor.

Then you could add the stipulation that every match that wrestler has is for that shot or Rumble spot, kind of like the hardcore title 24-7 rule.

Let me know what you think.
- gutterworx 1313

I dig the idea of having the elimination matches determined by random draw. The WWF attempted a mixed faces-heel elimination match at the 1995 Survivor Series, but that bout would have been more intriguing if the participants were announced beforehand but the sides were not determined until the introductions. They could run the bouts as inter-brand or as brand-only, depending on how things look from a booking standpoint. An all-Divas match could work this way as well.

I would suggest that the three top titles be defended at the Survivor Series in addition to the randomly-determined elimination matches as a way of securing buys and fitting in with your other suggestion of the Lone Survivor match. The brand champions do not have anything to gain by winning an elimination match, so they could put up their belts during the show just as they do during the Royal Rumble.

I am not so sure about a Bunkhouse Stampede for three reasons. One, it is essentially a modified battle royal – and so is the Royal Rumble two months later. The WWE would not want to undercut one of its franchise events. Second, a bunkhouse stampede does not really fit into the WWE aesthetic; it would just be out of place in a sports entertainment world. Third, the more times you put up a title shot as a prize from a major PPV event, the less value all of the other similar events have. However, a final elimination match that is also randomly determined from the night's previous survivors could result in many different possibilities, including handicap match situations. If more than one wrestler survives the final elimination, they could then fight it out for the spot of Lone Survivor. I'm not 100% behind this aspect of the idea, but it certainly is a creative suggestion. If we go with it, the 24-7 aspect is a great addition to carry the winner to the Rumble.

The random selection elimination match idea is great. It is really flexible and has many possibilities, which is what a gimmick match needs to obtain longevity in the fickle world of wrestling.

4. Wrestling or Wrasslin'?
- N. Appropriate LeTouched

This question reminds me of the famous exchange where Ted Turner called Vince McMahon after buying Jim Crockett Promotions and announcing that he was in the "wrasslin'" business. McMahon congratulated Ted and said that he was in the wresting business.

There are two reasons why it's always wrestling, and not wrasslin'. Reason One: Wrasslin' carries with it an inherent disparaging implication that the business is merely a lowly form of entertainment for an unsophisticated audience deserving of mockery and ridicule. It really all goes back to a centuries-long battle for cultural primacy in the United States between the traditionally prosperous north and west and the traditionally economically stagnant south. While the economic situation has longed corrected itself to a large degree, the south – and by extension all things considered "southern" – is still seen as a cultural backwater. Hence why Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy have careers. Most people still believe that wrestling is purely a southern thing; NASCAR has done a much better job of shaking this stereotype. We all know that wrestling is far more complex and nuanced than wrasslin' implies. Wrestling fans take it on the chin enough as it is, so let's do our best to enunciate the "g".

Reason Two: Wrasslin' can only be properly used when modified by "Jello" or "Puddin", preferably on a sign board outside of an establishment employing trained professionals skilled in such performance art. The setting must also be prime for apostrophe misusage.

That's all for this week. There are plenty of ideas that I did not get to that will appear down the line. This format is so much fun I think I'll keep it up for a few more weeks. Send your suggestions to the Office of The Wrestling Doctor and we'll put them on the papered table next week.