The Fink's Payload 9.25.09: Hardy's Chase to the Championship

Posted by Daniel Wilcox on 09.25.2008

Will Jeff Hardy finally win the big one any time soon? The readers decide.


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Good afternoon all and welcome to the greatest armchair booking column in the history of the Internet Wrestling Community, The Fink's Payload.

I would hope that the majority of you are familiar with how this works by now, but if not, go here.

A quick apology before we get to the beef of the column; some of you may have sent in entries last week, which, contrary to what's stated at the end of the column, did not get included. This was because I had the column in the system by Monday, and my Internet went down Tuesday til the weekend, so I did not have a chance to edit them into the column. Apologies for that, but barring such circumstances, ALL entries will be included.

So without further ado, onto the 148th edition of The Fink's Payload!

Last Week's Homework: Triple H and Jeff Hardy will go one-on-one at No Mercy for the WWE Championship. How does this rivalry develop? Does Hardy win the title, or will they feud for longer?

Jeremy is back to kick us off this week…

On the September 26th Smackdown, the matches include Vladimir Kozlov vs. The Great Khali and the main event Triple H and Jeff Hardy vs. MVP and The Brian Kendrick. Kozlov wins his match which goes on early in the show, after which Vickie is shown in the GM office, she is impressed and then she sends Bam Neely to go get someone. Later in the show, Vickie is seen telling some random guy in a headset that she has a special announcement regarding No Mercy's main event.

Triple H and Jeff Hardy win their match. After words Vickie comes up on the titantron, she says that she has made an amendment to the WWE title match at No Mercy, and his name is Vladimir Kozlov. The match is now a triple threat match.

On the October 3rd edition of Smackdown, Jeff Hardy, and the Smackdown tag team champions Carlito and Primo win their match against RAW's Rhodes , Dibiase and Manu. Afterward's Kozlov comes out and attacks the winners. At the end of the night, Triple H wins the 3 way champions match. Kozlov comes out to the ring and lays out Triple H. He then picks up the belt and poses with it as the show closes.

At No Mercy, Triple H and Jeff Hardy work together early in the match to take Kozlov out. Then they go 1 on 1. At one point, Jeff Hardy looks to have the match won, by reversing a pedigree into a jackknife pin, like he did at Armageddon but this time Triple H gets one of his hands on the bottom rope. Had that not happened Jeff Hardy would have won the title. Finally Kozlov gets back in the ring and he ends up pounding the living hell out of both HHH and Jeff. Jeff regains control by hitting a whisper in the wind on both HHH and Kozlov at the same time. Jeff then goes up for a Swanton on Kozlov but he moves and Jeff hits the canvas. Kozlov then hits the Russian Headbutt of Doom and it knocks Jeff out of the ring. Triple H hits the pedigree on Kozlov and wins.

The following Smackdown, Jeff Hardy comes out to the ring and says that he wants a title shot, not a 5 man scramble or a triple threat match, but he wants a one on one shot at the gold. Vickie then says that Jeff has had title matches at the last two Pay Per Views. So if he wants another one, he needs to earn it at Cyber Sunday. If Jeff Hardy can win his match then he gets a 1 on 1 match with the winner of the Championship Match (Triple H vs. The Big Show with the choice of referees, SGT. Slaughter, Dusty Rhodes or Ricky Steamboat ) at Survivor Series. His match at Cyber Sunday will be a number 1 contender's match against MVP. The fans will choose the stipulation, a submission match, a strap match or a street fight. No matter what the fans choose Jeff Hardy wins, so he will face the winner of the WWE title match, Triple H (who won thanks to Undertaker's interference).

In the weeks leading up to Survivor Series, they do the traditional big match things. Contract signings, both appear on VIP lounge, etc. During the match, the fans are split between the two fan favorites. Jeff Hardy comes so close so many times to winning but Triple H always escapes with kickouts at the last second, or getting his foot on the bottom rope. Triple H finally hits a pedigree, 1…………..2…………..kickout. Triple H eventually hits another one and Jeff kicks out at the last second, again. Now, Triple H is getting desperate. Jeff Hardy fights back. He's like a house of fire (ha.)Running neckbreaker, sitout facebuster, twist of fate, he is going up for the Swanton Bomb, this is it. He jumps, but Triple H moves at the very last second. Pedigree, another one, and a pin . Triple H wins. After the match, Triple H helps Jeff up and shakes his hand, then he hugs him. He raises Jeff Hardy's hand in the ultimate show of respect, then of course Triple H pedigrees him once more. Officially turning Triple H heel.

Jeremy from Palmdale

Yeah, this is definitely good stuff. Many would say that putting the title on Hardy is way too risky, and what this does is really put Hardy over without putting the strap on him. I like the idea of their being a break in their rivalry as it drags out the chase. Triple H turning heel is an idea I have gone with in my own idea, but I do wonder if it'd be a bad idea as it may overshadow Edge. Still, I do think The Game needs freshening up and turning him would be a great way to do it. I'm not sure if doing it after their match is wise though, as Hardy really gets no revenge, or at least that's what I infer from what you've written.

Next up is Reichou Shinsake;

We've seen based on this week's Smackdown that Koslov has inserted himself into the picture. This is good because Jeff Hardy's often erratic behavior could lead to his termination as a WWE employee anytime within the 2 weeks before No Mercy. With that in mind, should Hardy do anything stupid, WWE will just play an injury angle and insert Koslov into the main event at No Mercy. He's probably not ready for this, but at least it makes sense in the storyline.

If Hardy can keep his shit together, here's how I would build the feud. On the Smackdown before No Mercy, the show opens with Jeff Hardy cutting a promo - and thankfully, within the first 60 seconds of that potential snoozefest, HHH comes out to talk to Jeff. After a few more minutes of the "you're just not main event material" stuff, Koslov rolls down to ringside and challenges them to a match. They tell him to find any partner, and Vickie makes the match the main event tonight.

During the show, Vickie is seen talking to Big Show. Show says that he'd like to get his hands on both the champion and the #1 contender, but Vickie reminds him that he has to deal with Undertaker first before he gets in the title hunt. The Brian Kendrick approaches Koslov backstage, and offers not his services, but Ezekiel Jackson's if Koslov wants it. Koslov just stares a hole in Kendrick, who backs out of the dressing room. Others, such as Shelton Benjamin and MVP inquire, and are also met with glares.

In the main event, the faces are in the ring as Koslov comes down. The announcers do the usual "can these 2 co-exist as a team" crap. Koslov comes by himself, and no one knows for sure if his partner is waiting to reveal himself later. Jeff and Koslov start the match, and Koslov is owning the little druggie. HHH, instead of standing on the apron, goes to the announce booth to hang out with JR and Tazz for a few, talking about how as the Cerebral Assassin he's going to let Jeff get softened up for their match. Once Hardy starts to make a comeback, HHH tells the announcers that it's time for The Game to get the pin, gets back on the apron, and tags himself in. HHH thinks he has the match won, but Koslov surprises him and kicks out of a spinebuster. HHH goes to tag in Jeff, who now refuses his tag. While they bicker, Koslov regains momentum. Koslov knocks Jeff off the apron and then tosses HHH over the top rope, who kicks Hardy in the face on the way down. Those two go after each other outside of the ring and get counted out while fighting among themselves.

So, Koslov goes down in the record book as having a big time handicap match win against HHH and Jeff Hardy, while spending the majority of the match on the offensive. This should give him a nice boost since WWE is intent on getting him in the title picture. At No Mercy, HHH beats Jeff Hardy cleanly, and moves on to the Koslov feud while Hardy moves back down the card. Seriously, fuck this guy. Jeff Hardy has no chance of leading a brand and isn't reliable enough to be in a big feud or hold any title. Let him pop crowds and move merchandise, but while he's getting midcarders over.

Reichou Shinsake

I really hope that one day you are proven wrong. You're clearly of the opinion that wrestling is the be-all and end-all and that it's easy to overcome addiction. It's not. I have a hell of a lot of respect for Jeff Hardy's ability and hope that one day, he does get the world title he is worthy of. I don't if your rant was spurred on by the overblown plane incident a few weeks back, but it wasn't warranted. If we looked down on everyone with personal problems the way you do, no one would ever get through a damn thing, and dozens of top class performers would have been ushered out of the wrestling business a long time ago.

As for your booking, it's fine but really, a count-out victory isn't worth shit, especially when it's because Hardy and Triple H could not get along. A better way to go about it would be to have Hardy and The Game get in each other's faces and for Kozlov to take advantage, knocking one guy out of the ring and taking the chance to pin the other. That way you still have the excuse of them not being able to get along causing the loss, and Kozlov looks infinitely better than he does in your scenario.

Having Hardy job cleanly at No Mercy and then sending him to the mid carder is a bad business move; money will be lost. One might argue that putting Hardy in a main event spot is a risk but they're not going to lose anything if he does slip up again; nothing ventured, nothing gained and all that.

And we finish up with my own idea;

Vladimir Kozlov is added to the No Mercy match, making it a triple threat. During the course of the match, Hardy hits Kozlov with a Twist of Fate, but Triple H pulls the referee out of the ring to safe his title. Later in the match, Triple H hits Hardy with a Pedigree, but Hardy kicks out. The end of the match comes when Hardy hits Kozlov with the Swanton Bomb, only for Triple H to toss Jeff out of the ring and cover Kozlov for the win.

To follow up, Hardy says Triple H can't beat him and he knows it. Triple H, wanting to disprove this theory, challenges Hardy to a match. They go at it in the main event that week. Hardy back drops out of a Pedigree, sending The Game to the floor, then hits a Whisper in the Wind on the floor to earn a count out victory. This win earns Hardy a title shot.

Next week, Hardy and The Game battle for the WWE Championship. Hardy comes close with a Swanton, but Triple H gets a foot on the rope. Hardy kicks out of another Pedigree. Triple H goes low on Hardy to avoid the Twist of Fate and gets disqualified, thus keeping his title. It is revealed on wwe.com that week that at Cyber Sunday, Triple H will defend the title against either Hardy, MVP or Kendrick.

On the go-home show before Cyber Sunday, the three potential challengers meet in a triple threat. The Game interferes, taking out Kendrick and MVP with a sledgehammer. He then tells Hardy he hopes that Hardy wins the vote, before drilling him with a Pedigree.

Hardy wins the vote and battles The Game at Cyber Sunday. After Hardy kicks out of another Pedigree, there is a ref bump so Triple H brings out his sledgehammer, but Hardy avoids contact and hits the Twist of Fate and Swanton. The ref is still down though. Hardy contemplates using the hammer, but sees the referee stirring and tosses the hammer aside. The distraction allows Triple H to score with a low blow and a second Pedigree for the win.

The feud continues with Hardy pointing out that Triple H still hasn't beaten him cleanly. Hardy wants one more chance. He wins a one-night, four-man tournament to earn a title shot at Survivor Series. The next week, Hardy beats The Great Khali to earn the right to choose the stipulation for their match. Triple H expects a ladder match, but Hardy says Triple H hasn't beaten him fairly yet, and he will the stack the odds against The Game by making it 2 Out of 3 Falls; Triple H will have to beat Jeff Hardy twice. Triple H responds by saying whether Hardy or the fans like it or not, this isn't about who fights fair, it's about who comes out on top, and that is what he always does.

On ECW the next week, Triple H shows up to go one on one with Matt Hardy. Matt wins when the ref gets bumped and Jeff Hardy drills The Game with a steel chair. Triple H retaliates on SmackDown by assaulting Jeff Hardy with a chair, and finishing off the beat down with a Pedigree onto the chair.

The Game shows up on ECW again the next week and batters Matt Hardy with a sledgehammer. Jeff and The Game brawl it out in the main event of the Survivor Series go-home show. Triple H uses underhand tactics though, and manages to handcuff Jeff to the ropes. Matt attempts to make a save but he is too beaten down. Triple H assaults Matt again, this time right in front of Jeff. Triple H asks Hardy how he can keep his cool at Survivor Series. The pattern of Hardy's life will continue Sunday when Hardy blows his big chance. The Game puts an exclamation point on the speech by hitting Matt with a Pedigree.

At Survivor Series, the match starts out as a brawl. Jeff almost gets disqualified on a couple of occasions. He makes a few mistakes that allow Triple H to capitalize. But Hardy scores the first fall by reversing a Pedigree attempt into a jack-knife roll up for 3. Hardy then throws everything at The Game but can't get that elusive second fall. Triple H regains control and finally hits the Pedigree, but Hardy kicks out! Triple H is pissed and he almost gets DQ'ed. He goes out and grabs the sledgehammer, and an argument with the referee ensues. The referee takes the hammer away from The Game, but Hardy drills Triple H with a steel chair for a DQ. Hardy goes straight up top though, and hits a Swanton Bomb to go 2-1 up and win the WWE Championship.

What I like about this idea is that Hardy does indeed get to take out his aggression on Triple H, but in a way that benefits him. He outsmarts The Game and is obviously put over huge as Triple H never beats him fairly. Of course, if you're like our friend Reichou and hate the idea of Hardy as WWE Champion, you'll hate this idea.

Dan Wilcox

Before I set this week's homework, a few guidelines;

Entry: Entries will NOT be accepted via the comments section. Entries will NOT be accepted after the deadline. When sending an entry, NO attachments please. All entries should be sent to [e-mail]

Deadline: The column has to be in the 411 system by Wednesdays at midnight. I want entries in no later than midnight on Tuesdays.

Acceptance: In the past, there have been too many entries to fit in one column. However, as long as there is room, your entry will be included.

Length: There's no limit, but be considerate please.

Spelling and grammar: Please check your entries for spelling and grammar mistakes. A few mistakes I don't mind, but if your entry looks like it's been written by a three-year old, I'll probably just shit all over your ideas.

This Week's Homework: Survivor Series is coming up, so I want to do a few Survivor Series-themed homeworks in the next few weeks. Book a 5-on-5 Survivor Series Elimination Dream match, mixing and matching superstars from any company and any era. This one should produce a lot of fun entries.

Remember, all entries to [e-mail].