Truth B Told 10.08.08: Pull-itical Debate

Posted by Bayani Domingo on 10.09.2008

You have to have some “pull” before you can deliver the “pushes”. It’s easy enough to be an “armchair booker”, but would we really want “Joe Sixpack” in the driver’s seat?

For the first time in the past 16 years I am actually paying attention more to the potential Vice Presidential candidates than I am the presidential candidate. I've watched interview after interview and sat intently in front of my television during the VP debate. I know I shouldn't be using this column to voice my political view necessarily, but I find that this is too important of a statement for me to make to not at least put it out there for many of you to consider who might not otherwise be as active in the political system as you should. Okay, here goes…Sarah Palin…is a fuckin'…MORON. If McCain wins the election I'm seriously considering calling up Lansdell or Randle and seeing if they can help me find a decent apartment up North.

Let me explain something to you guys, first off I'm not necessarily an Obama supporter, but I do have a slightly, ever so slightly better feeling about him taking over the country and really installing some changes than I do with McCain. Basically the Republicans have had their way with the U.S. for the past 8 years and they are not allowed to mess with it again for a very long time. Seriously…it's like they hired Vince Russo to book the economy and the situation in Iraq. I'm pretty sure Bin Laden is going to be found on the very last day Bush is in office, surprisingly hidden in the basement of the White House this whole time and he will unmask to reveal himself to be Brian Adams in a Sting mask. That being said, regardless of if you are a McCain supporter or an Obama supporter you have to realize that there is a 50/50 chance that within 2 years time their running mate is going to become the President of the United States of America.

It's true, John McCain is like 3 years away from the average American male life span and more than likely Obama is going to get assassinated by some racist nut job before Sarah Palin can even say, "Of course I have Foreign Policy experience…I rented ‘Red Dawn' like 3 time on Netflix, dog gone it". Seriously…there is a good damn chance those guys ain't gonna make it to 2011 and we are really just as much electing Obama and McCain as we are Palin and Biden. While I don't 100% trust Biden will do a great job as a president considering I'm fairly indifferent on the guy right now, there is no way in HELL I think Palin is going to do anything more for this country than maybe extend hunting season by a month or two. I don't need some chick that sounds like a Ned Flanders running my country. The rest of the world will totally clown on us if that happens. I could even see France and Switzerland putting on their "Big Boy Pants" and threatening to invade us if that woman even ascends to the Oval office.

The whole appeal with Sarah Palin and the thing that she has been hitting us over the head with time and time again, like a steel chair at and Indy show is that she is "one of us". She is a "Washington Outsider" and a regular "Joe Sixpack" like the rest of us. She's going to fight for the regular America, because that's exactly what she is, a regular American who is just like anyone else in Middle America. Fuck that. I don't want someone "just like me" in the White House who could be running the country some day, I want someone SMARTER than me, I want someone BETTER than me who might have their finger on the button one day. I don't want and "outsider" I want an "insider" someone who knows what's up, not someone who eats alone in the Congressional Lunchroom while all the "cool and popular" heads of state are throwing spit wads at them and beating them up for their lunch money. I want someone who knows their shit and is well connected with how things work in government, not someone who is no smarter than the average Middle American, because the average Middle American is a fuckin' moron too. Then again I have a feeling that at some point in ECW a new wrestler named "Joey Sixpack" is going to debut…either he'll have an outrageously ripped mid-section or he'll be a drunk, either/or. Point is, I don't want someone "like me", I want someone better than me running things.

I think the same goes with another position which is almost as important as being VP, that of the "Bookers". While Vince or Dixie/JJ may hold the real "Executive Power", the bookers are just as important in the how the country…I mean the company is run. The thing is that a lot of people love to do the whole "Armchair Booking" thing. Whether it's on the internet or at a show it seems like everyone has their own opinions on who should be fighting who, who should be holding what belt, and who should be going over in what match. That's great, any time there is a debate or any time people are passionate and opinionated about wrestling it just means that the industry is doing its job in getting people excited about the product, whether they like it or not at least people are talking about it and feel strongly about it. Problem is, not everyone can be right. Not every wrestler that "should" hold a title belt is, or every feud that "should" take place can.

You have to wonder if the whole "Cyber Sunday " concept has either not gone far enough or if there is such thing as "too far". For many the idea that "fans have the power" is a bit of an exaggeration when it comes to "Cyber Sunday" fans get to choose stipulations, they get to choose participants, they can even choose guest referees, but often times the choices seem to be almost a bit too narrow. Then again there are times when it seems like fans make the oddest choices and they end up surprising even the WWE. No one figured The Miz stood a chance in hell of fighting for the ECW title last year. Maybe this year we'll get the surprise of Randy Orton being the guest ref for the Jericho/Batista showdown. Still there are just some matches that seem a bit useless. As much fun as Santino can be I never really need to see Piper or Honky Tonk Man again in a ring when I'm expected to pay money for it. I think the concept of "Cyber Sunday" was solid, however the shows always end up a bit "hit and miss" because sometimes the stipulations you can actually vote on are so inconsequential that it seems like a joke. The real risk here is how far would the WWE be willing to go if they really opened things up to the fans?

Imagine if the WWE let you build your own dream card. They give you 7 or 8 matches, say a championship match for all the brand champions, the US title, the IC title, your choice of the women's belts, and your choice of the tag team titles, as well as a wild card match. Then they could let the fans choose what kind of match and what opponents each of those particular champions would be facing. Let's say that you get 3 or 4 choices, but each perspective wrestler(s) have to qualify for the voting. Or even better yet, let anyone at all within the brand be eligible. Are you confident enough in the "average fan" to allow someone to vote in Rey Mysterio to battle Jericho for the title? Could Evan Bourne get his shot vs Matt Hardy? The possibilities are endless and it would be one of the few really "original" ideas that has come up in wrestling in quite a while that didn't just involve renaming an old concept. The thing is that even though the fans don't get to decide the outcome you have to figure this could go a long way in helping Vince and the writers really determine who "should" get a push and who is just being over exposed. Fans book the match, just not the outcome, at least for one PPV.

When I read that Freddie Prinze Jr. had been hired by the "e" I was a bit flabbergasted. When it came out that Prinze was also a wrestling fan it made a bit more sense, but hiring an "actor" to help write was just beyond my comprehension since it didn't seem to be helping to hire the actual Hollywood writers instead of someone who simply read what they write. I've heard arguments that it was a step in the right direction to hire someone who is basically a "fan" to help with the storylines, but I'm not so sure about that. I'm sure most of us have wondered what it would be like to be able to be part of the "creative" team and help dole out ideas for the product, but is that really what we want? Do we want a "Joe Sixpack" helping to write the products that we watch? Imagine that the "average WWE fan" really is in charge of booking. let's face it, the "average WWE fan" would probably book John Cena like a demi-God, DX would be main eventing every PPV, and there would be 3 Diva matches every show. Maybe we don't need the "average fan" booking for us. Problem is, we can't seem to get any better products out of the guys who are supposed to be that much smarter than said, "average fan".

Even in TNA where the booking committee consists mainly of Russo, Dutch Mantel, and Jeff Jarrett who all have extensive knowledge and experience in wrestling more often than not the storylines are crap. While it would be great to say, "Hey, why not use Cornette or Foley" to help with the writing, it just simply won't happen because it is hard for anyone high enough up in the company to understand just how much the "average fan" in TNA really despises the product at times. Even though they keep chanting about it during the Impact tapings. Sometimes even when the "average fan" does voice their " opinions the "higher powers" just refuse to listen and figure that we don't even know what we're talking about. It's amazing to think that just as short while ago a guy who was helping to sell merchandise and print tickets in ECW is now responsible for helping to book the third biggest promotion in the entire U.S. virtually all by himself. A guy like Gabe Sapolsky is really an "average fan" who got some lucky breaks, busted his ass, and did what he had to-to help create the "dream company" he always wanted. Then again, Gabe isn't your "average fan", he's a super fan with a super plan.

I would love to see the WWE bring a little more "Politics" into the appointment of an important position in the company like say, the General Manager of Smackdown or RAW. Just imagine how entertaining it would have been to hear William Regal launching a smear campaign against Mike Adamle or Adamle claiming that Regal once consorted with Mohammed Hassan during his earlier days. Instead of three debates you could replace the 2nd and 3rd debates with a "Hell in the Cell" Match and a "Lingerie Pillow Fight"...or...you know...something less gay. Whatevers. Point is that there are times when audience participation might actually add to the product. Letting the fans choose the GM's and then having to book accordingly would add some excitement. It would also help avoid some of those situations like the last RAW GM search that dragged on longer than that last episode of "Family Guy".

We wrestling fans are a demanding bunch, we want incredible talent and incredible matches on a weekly basis and we want compelling storylines to boot. Problem is that this business is so cyclical that it's hard to keep a winning formula for very long. Fans want as much possible input as possible into the product, but the average fan really can't come up with enough good ideas that are varied enough for a long enough time to hope for more than maybe a "one hit wonder". It's hard enough to trust that the "average fan" will vote the right guy into a title match, let alone let them actually book the match and the winner. Even veteran bookers hit peaks and valleys in their careers in very short time spans. Remember not too long ago that Russo and Ferrera were a recipe for GOLD and now Russo's name is synonymous for overbooked crap. Paul Heyman and Jim Cornette were considered geniuses by many in the industry and neither men seem to have a lick of power in the industry now. While the WWE and TNA in the past have tried to make wrestling as "fan interactive" as possible, it's clear they still don't trust us to handle any really big decisions, or even vote on outcomes that the companies themselves are so sure they are right on that they refuse to give us a chance to prove them wrong. But maybe it's better that way. Something tells me that if there was ever a "win a week to book RAW" contest out there on wwe.com that we'd probably be better off turning in early. You just know some guy from Podunk,OK is going to win and book Cena in a battle rap with Jericho in the main event.

The Truth

Fan interaction is great, but in moderation. Even the average "IWC" member is too smarky to be able to book a successful company. Brian Kendrick for WWE Champion? Scary. Although I really have trouble having any confidence in the current "creative staff" that currently writes for the "e" and "T" I would have to think that things could be worse. When you think about one of the best feuds this year being written mainly by the two wrestlers involved, then maybe what the "e" needs is less "Joe Sixpack" and more "Joe Wrestler". Then again it's not like every great wrestler is a great writer. Just because Flair and the Rock could cut a great promo doesn't mean they would be just as good with a storyboard, I mean, when is the last time you heard anyone talk about have the "Nature Boy" book a promotion. Maybe its better to mix the "insiders" with the "outsiders" so you don't lose too much perspective. Maybe it just takes a stroke of luck and good timing for a special kind of "Maverick" to come in and....oh crap....that's now part of the lexicon of human history now right? Well, I'm ending this column now before things get too mavericky. Seriously...we can't let that chick anywhere near the oval office...not even on a guided tour. I don't even want her having pictures of that thing downloaded off google.

Coming Up Short

From monster to comedian? Is the Great Khali the next mid-carder heel to go the route of comedy? It'll be interesting to see if they can turn Khali into a full fledged comedy face, especially considering that the man is a former World Heavyweight Champion. While guys like Big Show have been able to pull off the comedy angle for a short time, even with an extensive pedigree, you have to start to worry that perhaps the "e" is forgetting how to really book a good "monster" now with any sense of longevity. While it will be a nice change of pace to freshen up Khali's character a bit, you have to wonder if the "creative staff" just came up short with any other legitimate ideas on how to book the big man. The last thing we need to see is Khalishi in a thong, Khalister with a fu-man chu, or Khali Haas in a ....oh, yeah, that's right. Okay, well let's see if this is just another Jackass move or a brilliant change in character.

6 Degrees of…



Who's a "Maverick"? Maybe it's just me but when I think of a "Maverick" I think of a team with a lot of potential talent and deep pockets that ends up choking right before the finals. Hmmm....uncanny isn't it?

Well if you ask me there is certainly one "Maverick" who can offer the right kind of change....actually he's asking YOU for change...or leftovers, anything to help a "brutha" out who has fallen on some hard (and unemployed) time...



"Maverick" Matt Bentley.

I bet he misses those bouncing Brooks boobies already.

Whatchu talkin' bout readers?

All's quiet on the Western front I see.

6 Degrees Results

#1.

Well, at least Rob Williams cares...

Hey B-man

Long time reader of you column and i've always been a fan of 6 degrees, i decided to give it a try this week here's my entry. I have a question, Does it have to be 6 degrees? All i'm saying is i could of done it by linking Hogan to Muto because i know they've wrestled before. ANYWAYS heres my entry

David Blane held a press conference about his "Dive of Death" at Trump Tower which is owned by Donald Trump
At Wrestlemania 23 Donald Trump was involved in a match called the "Battle of the Billionaires" in which he ended up shaving Vince McMahon's head
4 years before Wrestlemania 23 was Wrestlemania 19 where Vince wrestled against the immortal hulk hogan
Hulk Hogan fucking hates Stone Cold because Stone Cold was bigger than he was
Stone Cold Once wrestled a match against Masahiro Chono in which Masahiro seriously injured his neck
Masahiro once held the NWA world heavyweight champion but he lost it to The Great Muta aka Keigi Mutoh

Peace out

Rob

Keiji, Keigi....close enough right?

Left Overs…

Kelly Kelly getting Naked Naked? Perhaps not, apparently she is denying it on myspace. I guess now we'll have to settle for her faking showing us her real boobies instead of really showing us some fake boobies. Or something.

The tooth hurts Jericho....the tooth hurts.

It was pretty damn cool to see all those youngsters in the ECW main event this week. It must have killed HHH to know that he's going to have to be re-drafted in order to bury all of them...it might take him literally months to do so too.

Would I have been the only one laughing if when Jamie Noble said he was dressed as the greatest wrestler of all-time and Tiffany couldn't guess who he was, he started choking the shit out of that bitch and Teddy Long said, "He's...for....real...bitch".

Clearly Vince McMahon is a Republican because how else could he restrain himself from dressing up a random Diva like Eve Torres like Sarah Palin, signing "Maverick" Matt Bentley, Hall and Nash to team with Batista and creating the unstoppable stable known as "The Washington Outsiders".

Shelly Martinez is trying to get into AAA now that she's out of TNA. Odd, I had her pegged for DDD's easy.

The Osirian Portal are getting their shot in RoH in Jersey against the tag team champions. How long till they too get sucked up into "Sweet ‘n Sour" Inc, or The Age of the Fall? My guess is if anything they'd fit in better with AoTF. I'm thinking they could be like a new branch of AoTF known as "Black Snake Emo-an".

The Boogeyman is coming back to ECW, good timing with Halloween coming up. I was actually surprised they failed to capitalize on Yom Kippur by having Scotty Goldman show up on ECW. "Atone for THIS, muthafucka!!"

So Freddie Prinze Jr. is going to help the wrestlers become better actors? It's kind of like having Nick Nolte run the new "Wellness Program". Any time I picture Freddie in an acting class I expect him to be seated in the back...asleep.

Now that Davey Richards is back in the states and reunited with "Super Agent" Larry Sweeney, I wonder if they'll be giving him an honest to goodness nickname now. Perhaps...Sweet ‘n Sour Shrimp?

Why doesn't the rest of "Right To Censor" ever come out to back-up Tony Atlas?

The Great Booty Debate 2008

You know, maybe I'm getting my second wind because I thought I would have run out of bitches last month, but you know, maybe we'll try to make this last till Thanksgiving. This week we pit Ms. Thong against Destiny Monique.

Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



Thong, Thong, Thong, Thong, Thong.

Random Latina Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



Wow, one chick...two stripper names.

Pimpin' In High Places

It's nice to know that even when someone takes a week off there is still a bucket load of writers around to pick up the slack. None in the wrestling zone, but maybe we can scam one from the Politics section:

Ask 411

Fact or Fiction

R,R,R,R

HH

CoH

Threat x 3

D-Dubya

The first 5 participants have been named for PWG's BoLA '09 and some of the names were expected (El Generico, Davey Richards, Brandon Bonham), a couple were welcomed returnees who have yet to have a lot of singles experience in the company (Chuck Taylor, Masato Yoshino), and then there is Kenny Omega. NO clue who this guy was. I originally thought he was the guy that used to tag with Robbie Rage and Rick Steiner, then I did a little more research and....still no clue. I'm going to have to hope that this guy works out as BoLA is nearing and there are only 10 more spots left. I can only guess that there will be 2 more Dragon Gate wrestlers, some PWG staples like Joey, Lost, Hero, Strong, Steen, Necro, and maybe Low Ki or Danielson, and of course another surprise or two. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for someone incredible and unexpected, like Bobby Lashley or Rob Van Dam or Kimbo Slice. Look...you know Kimbo ain't got shit lined up for a while, might as well put over Chucky T in the first round, right? Well that's it kids, I'm stepping off the soap box for now and if you're an Obama supporter you better hope McCain keeps stumbling in the polls and if you're a McCain supporter...you better hope Palin gets secretly replaced by Romney when no one's looking. As for me? I'm backing a very formidable 3rd party candidate. That's right people, "Kneel before Zod!!!....on November 4th".

Till then, the Truth will set you free.
-B