The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks: 10.17.08

Posted by John Meehan on 10.17.2008

The column gets a new look and TNA gets a new belt, while Lance Cade looks for a new job.



Welcome back, all! And thanks for tuning in to your regularly scheduled week end dose of intrawebz 'rasslin optimism. After a one week hiatus (more on that in a second), I'm back in action with a brand new look (like the graphics?) and a boatload of news coverage. Well ok, maybe not a "boatload" -- but at least a few items worth covering nonetheless.

Before we get started, however, I'd like to take a quick moment to extend a HUGE thanks to Randy Harrison, who stepped up to the FreeThinks plate BIG TIME last Friday and delivered an outstanding news report in my absence. Even if he's not your typical "wrestling guy," the dude can absolutely write one hell of a news report nonetheless. I'm seriously impressed by his effots, and most humbly in his debt. Thanks again, Randy.

As for Mee?

Last Friday, my dear old alma mater celebrated their annual Homecoming and Reunions Weekend. As both a double alum AND a full-time employee of this esteemed institution, I was officially "on duty" for a full weekend of events -- making "free time" at a premium whilst I worked the better part of a 60-hour work week babysitting drunken alums from all corners of the globe.

On the bright side?

I actually wound up getting slugged square in the mouth during an impromptu bar fight that broke out in the middle of last Friday night's festivities. Unfortunately, my alum-turned-assailant (a total stranger at that) went to the Big Show school of pulling punches, and so I ended up with a nice little shiner and a busted lip for my troubles. That'll teach Mee to try and play crowd control. DAMNED CLOSED FIST PUNCHES! I feel your pain, Dead Man.



Oh right, THE NEWZ!!!

Rock & roll.



In this feature, we'll make a quick note of those mini-news story items that have either already been covered in greater detail by other writers, or that haven't quite yet materialized into full-blown mega stories of their own. In either case, these items seem to warrant a brief mention nonetheless so that we can keep better tabs on what all's developing (and -- in theory -- end up with a better perspective in the long run) along the way.

The Doghouse: Performers who've landed in hot water over the past week.
Ashley Massaro (unsigned) - no-showed second consecutive wrestling fan convention.
Adam "Pacman" Jones (unsigned) - former TNA tag champ suspended indefinitely by NFL for violating league conduct code.

Notes: Massaro is old news when it comes to mainstream U.S. wrestling promotions, but she's still managing to attract something of a crowd in the independent/convention circuit -- likely owing more to her willingness to shed clothing in the pages of Playboy magazine than to any real semblance of in-ring talent or onscreen relevance whatsoever. This week, the self-proclaimed "Dirty Dirty" (well that about puts the "ass" in "clASSy," don't it?) no-showed yet another wrestling convention -- this time in Atlantic City, NJ. To make matters worse, she didn't even bother calling the event organizers to let them know that she wouldn't be able to make the trip. To win back the loyalty of her disappointed fans, this former WWE Diva Search winner took to her almighty MySpace page to explain her side of the story tease her upcoming appearance in Playboy magazine. Henceforth, this column will completely ignore all future news items regarding Ashley Massaro, as it has become painfully clear that she wants nothing more to do with wrestling fans and the wrestling business, save a few crossover buys for the next time she decides to drop her drawers in a national nudie mag.

Pacman Jones is similarly an afterthought in the world of professional wrestling, and save but for a few disparaging mentions in mainstream media outlets such as ESPN, his last appearance with TNA wrestling did absolutely nothing whatsoever to increase the national profile or reputation of this upstart Orlando-based company. Ratings stayed the same, pay-per-view buyrates stayed the same, and fans the world over quickly grew tired of watching this NFL untouchable bring his "bad boy who isn't even allowed to wrestle" schtick to the six-sided ring. Mere weeks after his departure from the TNA ranks, Pacman had become the laughing stock of the TNA lockerroom (to the point where he was openly mocked on TNA television), and so it would appear that Jeff Jarrett and company have pretty much learned their lesson on this one and written off the man's tenure as a failed experiment. That said, one should "never say never" in the business of professional wrestling -- and this newfound freedom from a NFL schedule most certainly leaves a door open moreso than ever before for a possible TNA return. Nobody in their right mind is awaiting such a return, mind you... but as the old catch phrase goes: "This is TNA."

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The Debuts: New and/or newly returning performers of the past week.
Kizarny (WWE) - Formerly Sinn of TNA's New Church stable.

Notes: Though he has yet to make an actual in-ring debut, promotional vignettes began airing on last week's Smackdown that touted the arrival of a bizzare new WWE superstar named Kizarny. For those of y'all out there who haven't had the (mis?)fortune of catching the video when it first ran last week, here it is again:



Kizarny is a longtime WWE developmental talent and former TNA star ("Sinn"). His current gimmick is that of a guy who hails from a sideshow-like background and speaks in "Carny," which -- as so many of us know -- was for a long time the accepted in-ring lingo for folks in and around the professional wrestling biz (since speaking to fellow performers in code helped to sell the illusion that ring action wasn't actually scripted). Judging by the debut promo, Kizarny inserts "iz" after the first syllable of each letter or word he's saying (so a word like "Carny" actually becomes "C-iz-arny," or "Kizarny").

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The Departures: Obituaries and/or performers whose contracts have ended

this week.
Lance Cade (WWE) - Released from his WWE contract on Oct. 14.
Karen Angle (TNA) - Released from her TNA contract on Oct. 13.
Johnny Devine (TNA) - Asked for his TNA release following Bound For Glory PPV.


Notes: Lance Cade's situation is covered in full detail below.

As TNA broadcasters acknowledged on last week's episode of iMPACT!, Karen Angle will be stepping away from her role in TNA wrestling for the immediate and forseeable future in order to spend more time with her children. In truth, the TNA creative staff had nothing further for this former onscreen talent to do, and word has it that her real-life divorce from fellow TNA performer Kurt Angle had taken a turn for the worse to the point where it was becoming unnecessarily heated between the two in the backstage environment. With Kurt Angle being the bigger of the two stars, the decision (unbeknownst to her soon-to-be-ex-husband) was made to let Karen go. And seeing as how Karen had done little but spin her wheels in aimless backstage interview vignettes following her onscreen split from Kurt, many might say that this decision was indeed for the best.

Johnny Devine asked for and was granted his TNA release following Sunday's Bound for Glory pay-per-view. According to a MySpace entry he made several days later, Devine was simply tired of being used as an enhancement talent for a promotion where television time dedicated to smaller and younger stars was already in short supply. He believed that his career had stagnated, and so he asked to be let go to pursue other opportunities outside of the TNA fold.

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The Drama: Developing scandals and/or budding backstage rumors.
TNA Roster (TNA) - got into a barroom brawl last Friday night
Scott Hall (unsigned) - got into an altercation with a stand-up comedian at the Roast of the Iron Sheik


Notes: Seems as if drunken bar fights were all the rage last week (including one for yours truly), as several members of the TNA roster including Brother Devon of Team 3D were involved in an altercation at a Chicago hotel just prior to last Sunday's Bound for Glory PPV. Word has it that one patron had been drinking heavily and had begun to pick a fight with several members of the TNA roster (drunks picking fights?! NEVER!). Words were exchanged and things became increasingly heated when the patron's wife joined in the fray and began hurling insults -- and eventually, *objects* -- at the wrestlers in attendance. Eventually, police were called to the scene and the drunken man and his wife were removed from the premises. To date, no wrongdoing was assessed and no charges have pressed on any member of the TNA roster.

In an entirely unrelated incident, former WWE and TNA standout Scott Hall was involved in a series of drunken altercations over the past several days. The first of these events occured at the Iron Sheik tribute roast, where Hall took issue with a comedian's offhanded joke at the expense of the late Owen Hart. While many a wrestling fan both in attendance and at large would certainly deem Hall's actions commendable in standing up for his fallen comrade, things quickly escalated to the point where it became clear that Hall too shared a due degree of culpability in this situation, as he proceeded to find himself in a series of drunken altercations throughout the next several days. Ultimately, local police were dispatched to the scene in order to get Hall back under control.

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The Disabled List: Performers who've gone down to injury or suspension

in the past week.
Dolph Ziggler (RAW) - 30-Day Wellness suspension for violating WWE drug policy

(1st offense)
Jimmy Rave (TNA) - Neck injury, severity unknown.

Notes: Bonehead, thy name is Dolph Ziggler. Even though this is his first official strike under WWE's Wellness Initiative, some might argue that the former Nick Nemeth-turned-Spirit Squadder has pretty much come as close to three non-official strikes as one can get. Strike one? His disasterous debut as the golf caddy for Chavo Guerrero's ill-fated run as "Kerwin White" (where he stood ringside for a match and actually *missed* his cue to interfere, leading to a terribly awkward finish). Strike two? His stint as a male cheerleader with the Spirit Squad, which ended in a five-man jettison back to WWE's developmental ranks. And now? "Hi, I'm a Walking Wellness-Violation-Waiting-to-Happen-Named-Dolph-Ziggler," a groaner of a nickname with a joke of a gimmick who's now seen himself suspended before he's even had so much as one match on WWE television.

Jimmy Rave is nursing a sore neck following a nasty fall in the Steel Asylum match at this past Sunday's Bound for Glory PPV. Though he has full mobility in all of his limbs, reports suggest that Rave has been feeling serious pain in his neck, back and head. On behalf of this column and the rest of the 411mania staff, here's hoping that Rave's injury turns out to be minor and that he can make a complete recovery in short order.




Lance Cade Released by WWE
Up-and-Comer Axed by World Wrestling Entertainment Late Tuesday Afternoon

In a shocking development out of the WWE headquarters late Tuesday afternoon, Lance Cade was released most abruptly from his contract with World Wrestling Entertainment. This news came as a particular shock to fans of WWE programming, as Cade had been featured in a rather prominent supporting role to the company's single highest profile fued.

Clearly, something was up.

On Wednesday afternoon, Jim Ross shed some light on the subject by posting a blog entry which made following statement about Cade's release:

As many of you know, Lance Cade was abruptly released from his contract this week much to the surprise of many of us. I have always thought that Cade had a wealth of physical potential and he was always a polite young man in my dealings with him. Like many fans, I too did my share of arm chair quarterbacking as to why Cade was not featured in a more prominent role on WWE TV programming. However it seemed that in the past several weeks those issues were being addressed even to the point of Cade defeating HBK on a recent Monday Night Raw. The story that I have read on many internet sites about the reason for Cade's sudden dismissal isn't accurate. Many punhdits speculate that Cade was dismissed because of a bad performance in a recent TV bout against DX on Raw which is absolutely untrue. Lance's dismissal had zero to do with his in ring performances or his lack of ability. Lance Cade was dismissed from the WWE because, like many humans, he made a major league mistake while utilizing bad judgment that cost him his job. This included Lance having a seizure on an airplane and having to have emergency medial care. Luckily, Lilian Garcia was on the same flight and was instrumental in helping Lance get taken to a hospital where a battery of tests were run that luckily determined that there was nothing seriously wrong with the young man such as a brain tumor, etc. Everyone makes mistakes, Lord knows I have made plenty in my career, but in this day and time some mistakes just simply can't be condoned. To some fans, Lance Cade will likely still be perceived as the victim in this matter and his punishment too harsh. Under the circumstances of the situation, I don't know what other decision the WWE could have made. I'm just relieved that it wasn't me in my former role that would have had to address this matter. I really like this kid and hope that he continues to follow his dreams. Second chances are not foreign in the wrestling business so perhaps that could be in Lance's future but that's just a personal observation. Lance Cade is a talented young man whose best days should be ahead of him and I wish him nothing but success. Lance has been knocked down and now it is up to him to get off the canvas and get back in the game. I'm damn sure pulling for him. Let's hope Lance's peers are paying attention to this situation.

Sounds like a really close call here for Cade, and so MeeThinks it's only fair to spell things out in a bit closer detail for those who've taken the past several days to slam on Jim Ross and WWE for handing the man his walking papers simply because of a medical emergency.

Long story short:

Point 1) Cade wasn't fired simply for "HAVING a seizure" -- he was fired for whatever happened to CAUSE that seizure in the first place, which (if you read between the lines on JR's post) is pretty much a surefire case of some serious drug abuse and/or episode of binge drinking. Since JR's is neither in the position nor at the liberty to discuss the exact details of a (former) employee's medical records, he's pretty much said all that he can say on the matter without getting himself, Lance Cade, or World Wrestling Entertainment into any bigger mess than what all has already unfolded this week. Pretty much the same story as when a performer gets suspended for recreational drugs, really... fans are told that they violated the company's substance policy (a reasonable expectation of public disclosure from a public company), but the exact drugs in question are kept under wraps in order not to draw any further or undo attention to the matter or employee in question.

In other words -- if we HAVEN'T ever been told which exact or particular drugs Jeff Hardy was suspended for (or indeed fired over not so many years ago!), then we shouldn't act surprised when JR plays coy as to the substances that caused Lance Cade's seizure. If Cade wants to disclose that information, it's his business -- but until then, there is absolutely no reason to fault his former employers and coworkers for giving a cursory (if cryptic) account of how they watched in serious dismay as the man's *private* indiscretions ultimately caught up with him in the most *public* of manners.

Point 2) The fact that Lance Cade was canned on account of what might appear to be a "normal" medical malfunction should NOT give any armchair critics out there any reason to assume that WWE has any intentions of likewise firing employees for simple medical emergencies in the future. Smart money says that Cade's case wasn't a natural body reaction to a natural, pre-existing medical condition beyond his control -- rather, it was a natural reaction to a severly UNNATURAL (and likely "controlled" and/or "illegal") substance intake.

As such, folks with natural, pre-existing medical ailments need not fear for their jobs in light of this particular instance. WWE has a longstanding precedent of keeping employees on their payroll in spite of serious medical conditions (see: Cappotelli, Matt; Vontavious Porter, Montel), and so there is absolutely *NO* reason to believe that they would go ahead and fire Lance Cade over a natural or pre-existing condition that was beyond his control. In the world of Wellness initiatives, catching a performer's serious medical emergency early AND still keeping that employee on your payroll is a RIDICULOUSLY smart idea, as it not only shows a much-needed dose of corporate compassion (quite a rarity in the realm of big business), but it also shows that your company shows no bias or discrimination in these matters and is 100% willing to work with people with all sorts of medical conditions or disabilities.

Whatever the cause for Lance Cade's seizure ultimately may have been...

Unless this is an episode of House, there is absolutely no reason that a healthy, 26-year-old professional athlete with no previous history of seizures would suddenly develop one to the point where he would require severe and immediate medical intervention -- unless, of course, there was some outside force or substance at play. Here's hoping that the guy takes this opportunity to get his head on straight and curb the dangerous behaviors that may have lead to this extreme and wholly unwarranted medical emergency in the first place.




TNA to Unveils Third Single's Title
Booker T's "Legend's Championship" Will Make TNA Debut

Coming off of their biggest pay per view event of the year, it appears that TNA will open the next 365 days of their booking cycle with the unveiling of a third major men's single's title belt, likely to be known as the "Legend's Championship." It is expected that this title will be revealed as the contents of Booker T's briefcase, and that Booker T will crown himself the first ever Legends Champion, after which point he will subsequently defend it against other "legends" and/or stars on the rise. For all intents and purposes, this belt will function as a secondary title in the same capacity as WWE's Intercontinental and United States Championships. How it will affect the relative prestige of TNA's remaining single's championship (the X Division title) is not yet known at this time, though recent booking efforts may well suggest that the X Division title has, for all intents and purposes, been reduced to a strictly third-tier, "cruiserweights-only" championship.

At the outset when looking at the TNA roster, one might argue that the absolute LAST thing the company needs is yet aNOTHER championship belt to steal away valuable television time on an already crowded show. Simply put, there are WAY too many backstage segments and non-title-related angles going on each week, so much so that it has gotten to a point where the average two-hour episode of iMPACT! rarely breaks the 30-minute mark when it comes to offering actual in-ring *wrestling* the way it is. In addition, the company has gotten into a nasty habit of failing to provide the necessary television time to establish meaningful feuds and contenders for each of their *existing* champions and championships. Breaking things down further, for a second, we see that the title ranks pretty much shake down thusly:

World Title Contenders (or strong contenders for imminent challenge)
Sting
A.J. Styles
Jeff Jarrett
Kurt Angle
Samoa Joe

Tag Title Contenders (or those currently wrestling primarily in tag ranks)
Beer Money Inc. (James Storm and Robert Roode)
LAX (Homicide and Hernandez)
Matt Morgan and Abyss
The Motor City Machineguns (Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin)
The Rock & Rave Infection (Jimmy Rave and Lance Rock)
Team 3D (Brother Ray and Brother Devon)

X Division Title Contenders (or those who pose credible threats to this title)
Shiek Abdul Bashir
Consequences Creed
Jay Lethal
Petey Williams
Sonjay Dutt

Stars Not Currently Pursuing ANY Title Program
B.G. James
Booker T
Christian Cage
Curry Man
Eric Young
Kevin Nash
Kip James
Mick Foley
Rhino
Scott Steiner
Shane Sewell
Shark Boy

When you break things down this way, we see that just about every major title that TNA has to offer is pretty much the story of TWO stars currently battling for a belt while two (or three) other stars spend their time battling for the right to challenge for said belt after the current title program is in the books (which is actually true in WWE as well, when you think about it). Judging from this model, we can see that a company with THREE major title divisions (X Division, World Championship, Tag Team Championship) has room for anywhere from 15 to 20 stars battling for title gold (or the right to challenge for it) at any given time. While this is all well and good (especially since it frees up a great number of combinations of performers to battle for a championship at any given time), it also leaves just about half of the TNA roster on the outside looking in to their coworkers' title quests -- meaning that guys like Booker T, Christian Cage, AJ Styles and Kurt Angle spend months outside of the title picture and really don't have all that much worth doing if they're not currently in the mix for a World Title shot. Sure a good old fashioned blood feud or respect rivalry is nice, but you can only have so many of those before people start to wise up that you're simply never going to make it as a World Champion again no matter *how* many times you play the role of world-beating badass (see: Rhino).

As such, perhaps the addition of a third major (men's) singles title to the TNA ranks is not necessarily the worst thing for business after all. Granted, it will force the writing team to steal some television time away from the wacky backstage antics of the Kurt Angles, Booker Ts, and Jim Cornettes of the world. But if this backstage time is instead devoted to in-ring action or establishing credible threats to the new belt in order to keep those just outside of the main event picture engaged and onscreen in worthwhile fueds of their own? TNA may just have found themselves a solution to the "what do we do with those guys who aren't fighting for a title?" problem (which typically results in nonsensical backstage segments, meaningless undercard feuds, and/or altogether dead-end angles), in which case? Absolutely no complaints from Mee.


And With That, I'm Outta' Here

That'll do it for Mee this week. After the homecoming hullaballoo of the past seven days, I'm off for a long weekend of some much-needed R&R to visit the rest of the Meehan clan up in sunny (autumn-y?) New Jersey. Fishing, hayrides, pumpkin patches... nothing beats the fall in my book. 'Till next time, enjoy the week and those precious final days before Halloween stores completely sell out of all the good costumes and candy in stock, BEAT THE BRONCOS!, and always stay positive.

- Meehan

The National Domestic Violence Hotline :

1-800-799-SAFE.