The Cheers 'n Jeers of Wrestling 11.02.08: Mike Adamle, Kofi Kingston, CM Punk, Batista and More!

Posted by Michael O on 11.02.2008

Cheers to candy! Jeers to tummy aches! Oh, and don't forget to vote...unless it's for the old one. Just kidding, and there are almost no political references whatsoever in this column, I swear.

Hi everybody! Hope you all had a fun Hallowe'en. This is an admittedly very light edition of the Cheers, as the wrestling world was full of snooze worthy news bits and solid, if unspectacular programs this week, so I was left with very little to give a definitive cheer or jeer to and thanks to a very hectic Hallowe'en schedule, I didn't have the time to conjure up any decent filler.

So why are reading this, you ask? Why should I expect you to continue reading after I shatter the fourth wall and come clean about my lack of content and dedication to this week's column? What gives me the right to waste your precious time, those few grains in the sand of time, so to speak, that are left of your lifespan? Those are the questions that keep one up at night. On with the cheers...


CHEERS
to Mike Adamle for demanding satisfaction and slapping Orton in the face on RAW after he brought up all his various inadequacies, specifically those pertaining to his home life. Adamle showed some spine and if you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough, or at least as tough as slapping a fake employee of yours in a staged setting portrays/allows you to be.

It's what the five fingers said to the face



CHEERS
I guess, to Kofi Kingston and CM Punk for winning the World Tag Team titles in a great match on RAW. I don't know if the decision to put the belts on them was made before Cyber Sunday, where likely most in the company expected the match to take place, or if it was a last minute call to boost CM's profile, which obviously is lacking in light of his and Kofi's snubbing by the fans Sunday night. Either way, the two have their work cut out for them in attempting to restore the long lost credibility of the once prestigious tag titles and the Cheers 'n Jeers of wrestling wish them well in their efforts. Personally, I think it would be easier to keep a dog in a bathtub.

The feat so difficult, they named a very ambitious sex act after it



I'm just going to come out and say it.
CHEERS
to Batista for winning the World Heavyweight championship at Cyber Sunday. Now, now, I can hear what you're saying, and it's uncalled for, as well as unkind. You kiss your mother with that mouth? I too am a raging Jerichoholic, and I personally wouldn't have made the call to end his reign so soon, but I'm willing to see where the WWE is going to go with this.

I'm thinking that there is a strong possibility that we'll see this feud continue, with Jericho regaining the belt along the way and defending against HBK at Mania. And who wouldn't want to see that? Of course, the plan could also be to set up for a big John Cena win in a rematch against the Animal at Wrestlemania, but I'm trying to be positive here. Either way, I don't hate Dave, in fact, I rather like him, and it doesn't piss me off that he's holding the gold, so I thought I'd do what so few in the so called wrestling "media" are doing these days and simply say "congrats".

"Look at me. Look what I have now.
Pisses you off, doesn't it?"




I hate to do it, 'cause I'm no playa hater, but
JEERS
to Teddy Long's baffling turn as Ron Burgundy: Anchorman. I have much love for the longest running active GM in brand extension history, and the WWE has put forth some decent comedy in recent weeks, but his Halloween costumes have just been awful thus far and I don't know that I could envision a lamer way to open the show. Let's hope we don't get Teddy Long in a fake moustache and a unitard as Borat for next year's Hallowe'en broadcast.

JEERS
to disgruntled rap outfit MOP for suing the WWE over it's alleged pilfering of sounds for John Cena's theme music. I don't really care if they have a valid claim or not (the WWE is said to have purchased them fair and square from a third party who is no longer affiliated with the group), but whatever amount of money they think they're going to get cannot be worth the humiliation of publicly admitting to have contributed in any way to the dog shit track Cena comes out to.

Sucker MC's?



CHEERS
to Roxxi for giving Raisha Saeed a swirly on Impact. It wasn't a swirly proper, as there was no flushing, but people getting beat up in bathrooms and having their head stuck in toilets is something I think we need to see more of in pro wrestling and I was happy to see Roxxi do her part.


JEERS
once again to Death, this time for the taking of former WWF "enhancement talent" and longstanding trivia answer, S.D. Jones. His kayfabe record for shortest Wrestlemania defeat may have been broken, but he'll always be the dude who took the quickest loss in Wrestlemania history to me. "Special Delivery" Jones (Conrad Efraim) was 63 years old. RIP.

A Special Delivery to the afterlife



CHEERS
to Cyber Sunday for being a surprisingly great show. I may have been nonplussed by the pre-show options and I'm fully aware that fairly low expectations definitely had a strong hand in my enthusiasm for the show, but not only was the best made of a "meh" situation, we saw a few really hot matches coupled with some potentially watershed moments to boot. Undertaker vs Big Show was off the heezy, ECW's match was very strong, and the two world title matches were perfectly entertaining, if not quite epic encounters. Best of all, we may have seen some key moments that may one day be looked back upon as important landmarks for more than one of the entertainers.

The WWE has pretty much kept Miz & Morrison in limbo, leaving them to their own devices and featuring one or both in a big match from time to time, but the fact is they haven't done much with the "Shaman of Sexy" or his stalwart sidekick since they inexplicably took the tag titles from them at Night of Champions. Last year Miz got the surprise vote to face Punk in the ECW title match and this year, he and his partner were chosen to square off against Cryme Tyme over Punk & friends. Cynics could say that this was more of a comment on how far the tag straps have fallen in the eyes of the public, but how long can the WWE suppress the combined awesomeness of Miz & Morrison?

I'm sure Cryme Tyme, who seem fairly over, were part of the equation, but c'mon. The people have spoken, and they want more Miz & Morrison. If they're smart, "The E" will have D-X do the J-ob tomorrow night.


Speaking of people speaking and pleasantly, somewhat surprising Cyber Sunday results,

*CHEERS* of the week
to Evan Bourne! THIS year's ECW title darkhorse challenger had a huge week, beginning with his landslide victory in the general Cyber Sunday election. Not only did Evan win the chance to do the vertical mambo with Matt Hardy, he made the best of his opportunity, putting up a fantastic showing against the champ and looking good in defeat.
Should Evan remain injury free, and make some noticeable improvement on the stick, I think it's safe to assume that his popularity will continue to skyrocket.

In the interest of striking while the iron was still hot, the ECW sensation was put into a match with Rey Mysterio the following night on RAW, and while he once again came up short, the match kicked it's fair share of ass and continued to raise the profile of Bourne. The bad news is that Evan hurt his ankle in a great 6-man tag the next night on ECW, an injury that he incurred very early on and fought valiantly through, I might add. Sounds like it won't be too bad and he hopefully won't be missing a significant amount of time, which, of course, is the very last thing a young star on the rise would want. Ankle business aside, this was a banner week for Bourne and the fans who spoke up and let their voices be heard.

Change we can believe in or Don't let the pose and the smile fool you...this guy does not suck ass!




What's good in the hood or this is what I read on 411 today:

MEEHAN!

L DIZZLE'S SUNDAY BRIZZLE

THE ONLY NEWS REPORT FOCUSED SOLELY ON THE BUSINESS OF WRESTLING

FREE PORNO!

CLASSIC CHEERS 'N JEERS

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Ah, I didn't want to get all political and shit, since I'm sure plenty of you, and perhaps rightfully so, are sick of being inundated with political commentary at every turn. I myself was once staunchly, almost aggressively apolitical and had no want for continuous mentions of political goings on, least of all in wrestling columns, so I feel your plight. But if one more won't make you throw up, and if you're maybe considering voting but haven't made up your mind yet, just remember, we've had eight years of this:



Personally, I think we need to get as far away from that as humanly possible.



So enjoy the rest of your various weekends. The Stephen Randle experience will be here later tonight and in the meantime, here's a little Hallowe'en treat for you to watch while you stuff your face with all that delicious candy!
Ta ta for now.