The Fink's Payload 11.20.08: Christian's Return

Posted by Daniel Wilcox on 11.20.2008

The readers take a stab at Christian's much-anticipated WWE return.


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Good afternoon all and welcome to the greatest armchair booking column in the history of the Internet Wrestling Community, The Fink's Payload.

I would hope that the majority of you are familiar with how this works by now, but if not, go here.

So without further ado, onto the 154th edition of The Fink's Payload!

Last Week's Homework: Book Christian Cage's Return to WWE.

And kicking us off this week is Payload-regular Jeremy;

I personally don't think that Christian is leaving TNA, as they acknowledged that the rumors he was going to the WWE. Though I would love to see him back in the WWE.
Edge returns at Survivor Series by helping Big Show beat the Undertaker in a casket match, and is welcomed by Vickie on Smackdown. She announces they will have a Homecoming Party for Edge later that night. She says that it is so great to have her husband back. Then with Chavo, Neely, Hawkins and Ryder in the office with her and Edge, she remarks that "La Familia is back together". Later that night, during the party Edge sends Chavo, Neely, Hawkins and Ryder out of the ring saying that he wants to be with his wife. Edge says that as much as he is enjoying the celebration, he doesn't want it to be a Welcome Home Party for him. He thinks that it should be a going away party. She asks what he means and he then responds by spearing her out of her wheelchair. Chavo and the rest come running back to the ring to help Vickie but they stop and start smiling as the show goes off the air.
December 5th. Edge and the rest are in the ring. He says that what Vickie said a last week was a lie, La Familia is not back together, what type of "familia" would put her husband in a Hell in a Cell with the Undertaker, or put her nephew in a casket match with the Undertaker. This is not La Familia, La Familia ended when Edge was sent to hell, this group is further known as "The Family". And now that Vickie is out of commission, there is no GM, the inmates are running the asylum and the members of The Family will have each others back, kind of like the Mafia. He then calls out his lady, Alicia Fox. They celebrate in the ring.
December 12th - During a match an unimportant match between Jimmy Wang Yang and Kizarny, the match gets interrupted by a ominous video which reads "Family?". Nothing is thought of this video, Kizarny wins the match. Later that night Edge and the Family attack and injure The Great Khali in the middle of the ring and say that is what The Family can do if provoked.
Armageddon - Edge doesn't have a match but Hawkins and Ryder do have one early in the show for the tag titles. Thanks to there being no GM, Edge and The Family wear down the Colons before the match and Hawkins and Ryder win the gold back. Edge then says that The Family is quickly taking over and announces that he will be in the 2009 Royal Rumble Match which thanks to his "brothers" he will be the winner. Later that night during a backstage segment involving the diva's, a video plays again, but this time it says "Family?", then quickly flashes, one by one "Pain" "Torture" "Agony" ( I know that seems cheesy but it works for the purpose), then the video finishes with "I'll show you Family?"
December 16th ECW- The show features the special one night jobberific return of former ECW superstar Johnny Swinger (also was in WWE as Johnny Parisi for a short forgettable run). He faces Ricky Ortiz and loses, but during the match Matt Striker points out Swinger's history in the original ECW and his short run in the WWE and even points out that he trained under Sweet Daddy Siki and Ron Hutchinson at the same time as Edge. Later in the show he is found backstage laid out.
December 19th - One of the shows matches is Edge vs. R-Truth but once again, The Family exercises their power and destroys R-Truth. After the match, Edge says that no matter who you are, you will fall to the power of The Family because they have the numbers. Later that night, Chavo Guerrero was booked to face Scotty Goldman, but Chavo never shows up. He is found unconscious backstage. Edge, under the assumption that Goldman was responsible , attacks and bloodies him.
December 26th (I am not sure when the Tribute to the Troops is airing, I would assume on Christmas Day since it will be on NBC) Edge, Hawkins, Ryder, Neely and Fox are backstage. Hawkins and Ryder are competing in a Handicap title match vs. The Colons. Chavo was supposed to be the third man representing The Family, but he is still injured so Bam Neely fills in. Neely however screws up and costs Hawkins and Ryder the match and the titles. Edge comes out to the ring and throws Neely out of the group. Later in the show, there is a gift box in The Family's locker room. It is a Christmas gift for Edge. He opens it and it is a dvd. Edge plays it and it turns out to be Edge's sole match from WCW. Alicia Fox points out there is a note in the box. Edge reads it. The show closes as Edge looks puzzled.
January 2nd - The show opens up with Edge in the ring. He says that someone is trying to play mind games with him. Someone is trying to get into his head, throw off his concentration and try and take his mind off of the Royal Rumble. Edge spends the night interrogating people about the events of the past weeks.
January 9th - The Cutting Edge returns and Edge believes that he has found the men responsible for the mind games. Val Venis and Matt Hardy. He says that the two of them teamed up to try and get into his head, because "I left your (Val's) sister for your (Matt's) girlfriend". (Edge says the reason that they are holding on to a grudge for so long is because their careers have hit the skids and they want to try and make a name for themselves). They deny it, but instead Edge attacks and bloodies them both. After the beatdown, a video comes up on the screen that says that Edge will get his soon enough.
January 16th - Edge comes out during a rumble qualifying match between Kizarny and Tommy Dreamer and attacks both of them, rendering the match a draw so nobody gets the open spot. He then begs for the person who is messing with him to show themselves but nobody shows. Edge helps his doppelgangers become 3 time tag champions during the main event, but as they go backstage to their own personal locker room, they open the door and see Alicia Fox out cold in the office covered in a red liquid (BLOOD BATH!).
January 23rd - Edge has a Royal Rumble warm up match with Kung Fu Naki. He wins the match fairly quickly but the lights then go out and a video plays that says that in just two days, Edge will get his comeuppance.
Royal Rumble - Edge comes in early and puts on a great performance, even emptying the ring. When it comes time for the 20th entrant, Edge is alone in the ring. Hawkins and Ryder are shown backstage laid out cold. Then on the screen "EDGE. At Last You're On Your Own". The old Christian theme (the exact title slips my mind but it sounds like the one he is currently using in TNA) plays and Christian comes out and beats the holy hell out of Edge, eliminating him as well as himself.
This will lead to an Edge vs. Christian match at WrestleMania.

Jeremy from Palmdale

Yeah, I'm not entirely sure about this one. In theory, it's a more or less perfectly well thought out scenario. I have no problem with the whole Edge taking over SmackDown deal, only to be spooked by having his stable taken out. The use of video packages and especially the blood bath is great and I have no doubt would make for some great TV. On the other hand, I just don't see it as the kind of thing Christian would do, y'know? It's a little bit too gimmicky. And I'm not sure about the whole worked-shoot bit, with the mentioning of Edge's link to Val Venis and such. It's a bit much to expect a crowd to fully comprehend the angle when they're pulling out things that the majority of them would never have been aware of. I do have to give credit to a solid build to the big reveal though, and I can very easily picture such a scenario occurring at the Rumble.

Next up is another regular in Todd;

Excellent subject my friend... Of course this is all assuming that Christian will be back in the E by Survivor Series, or shortly after...

Cena wins the world title at Survivor Series.

Night after Survivor Series...
RAW: 11/24/2008
Cena is in the ring soaking up his usually mixture of envy and apathy. He has the mic but is waiting for the crowd to die down... "Finally.... The Champ is..."

He is instantly cut off by Christian's old WWE theme music, out comes Captain Charisma! The crowd is going nuts with chants of welcome back. Cena has a smile on his face as Christian goes through his routine on the way to the ring, pointing out his peeps and what not. Christian gets in the ring, smiles at Cena, then motions for Cena to continue.

Cena starts his speel again, "Finally, The champ is here!" With that Christian throws his arms up as if to say he was the champ. Cena's smile is starting to fade now, but it is still visible.

Cena continues, "After a long absence, the champ has finally returned to Monday Night Raw to claim what is his." Cena motions to the belt, and Christian once again throws his arms up as if to say he is the one returning to claim the belt.

"Being away from WWE for so long, it really relights a passion deep inside, you just can't wait to get back in there." Again Christian is acting as if it was him that has been away for so long, and he is returning with a passion.

Finally Cena has had enough.... "Ladies and Gentleman, Creepy Little Bastard, Christian."
Fans go nuts!! Christian soaks up the cheers. Cena continues, "So, what brings you out here Christian? What can John Cena do for you?"

Christian grabs a mic from Lillian, then gives her the peep point as if to suggest that she is in fact... a peep. "Well John, thanks for such a wonderful reintroduction... I mean all that stuff about the champ being back, being away for so long, and the passion returning, you really hit the nail on the head about my return."

"Now you know damn well, I wasn't talking about you," Cena interrupts, "but go ahead, you appear to have something to say, so say it."

"I was about to before being interrupted, man I hate being interrupted, don't you John? Now as I was saying, I heard you talking about the champ being here, and figured that was my cue. I walk out on stage, and I got a little misty eyed, I mean they got John Cena to do my intro? How cool is that?"

"Get to the point, will ya? This is only a two hour show."

"Again, John I didn't interrupt you while you were talking, I would appreciate the same in return. Now then, you introducing me got me to thinking... We sort of have a bit of unfinished business, don't we John? You and I, we never really got that chance to have a one on one match before I left."

"No I guess we didn't"

"That got me to thinking, and honestly this is the real reason I'm out here to make your celebration better. What do you say we settle some unfinished business at Armageddon, and you put that title on the line, how bout it?"

"Well, well, well, welcome back Christian, good to see you haven't lost that charm. What do I have to say about Armageddon? I say why wait, we can hook it up right here right now for the title!"

Crowd goes nuts, but it is cut short by Shane McMahon's music. Shane enters the ring, and asks for a mic, "wow, let me start by welcoming back Captain Charisma, Christian. Good to see you back man, how ya been?" Christian and Shane-o shake hands "But in your absence, you must have forgotten how things work around here. You can't just expect to walk back into the company and book your own title shot without proving you still have it. I understand you did some great things while you were away, but this is the WWE, this is a whole different ball game. With that said, We will have a John Cena title defense at Armageddon, which means we will need a new #1 contender." Christian looks elated at this announcement, "Now, calm down.. we are going to do this the right way, because as deserving as you may be Christian, I can't let you walk into the company and an automatic title shot. We will have us a good old fashion 16 man tournament to determine Cena's #1 contender. What I can do Christian is offer you one of the spots in the tourney, if you are interested."

"If this is what I have to do to get to the title, then this is what I have to do to get to the title."

"Glad you feel that way, we may as well get this thing underway right now, Christian, your opponent in the first round is... Cody Rhodes.

Bracket would look something like this:

Christian vs. Cody Batista vs. Jericho
Ted Dibiase vs. Kofi Kingston Santino Marella vs. William Regal
CM Punk vs Kane Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton
JBL vs. HBK John Morrison vs. The Miz

Christian puts Rhodes away with little effort, also on this night the following men win their respective matches. Chris Jericho, Santino Marella, Ted Dibiase, Kane, Randy Orton, HBK, and Morrison

Raw: 12/01/2008
Tourney matchups for tonight,
Christian vs. Jericho Santino vs Kane
Orton vs. Dibiase HBK vs. Morrision

Tonight Cage beats Jericho with a roll up, and a hand full of tights. He chuckles at Super Serial Chris Jericho on his way up the ramp.
Santino vs. Kane ends in a double countout when Santino runs from Kane and Kane gives chase. HBK manages to beat Morrison. Orton beasts Dibiase.

End of Raw sees the three remaining men in the tournament standing in the ring, well Christian and HBK are in the ring, with Orton standing on the steps avoiding getting in the ring with them.

Shane comes out "I called the three of you out here because we are left with an odd man out of the toournament. I don't suppose any of you want to relinquish your spot in the tourney do ya? No, I didn't think so. Well the only obvious thing to do is to have a triple threat match be the deciding factor next week. But, in the interest of fairness, and making sure that everyone actually gets beat out of the tournament, it will be an elimination match." Show fades to black with the three competitors sizing up the competition.

RAW: 12/08/08
Show opens with Christian Cage center ring, sitting on a stool, lights dimmed except for a sole spotlight focusing on him. he cuts a promo stating how he came back to the E for one reason.. He never got a fair shake at the big one. He never got his chance in the spotlight. He goes on to say that while he was away he learned that you can't wait for your opportunity, you have to take it. Tonight he plans to do just that. He will go to Armageddon, he will face John Cena, and he will become the champ.

Later in the show HBk and Orton are both given mic time to put over the importance of the match tonight, and how important it is to have that title going into the new year, stating the Wrestlemania implications, and the easy out of the Rumble match.

Main event time, the three deliver a great triple threat match... Christian eliminates HBK with the unprettier. Christian and Orton go back and forth for several minutes with Orton going for the RKO, and Christian grabbing his arms and turning it into an Unprettier for the win.

Armageddon 12/14/2008:
After an extremely valiant effort, Christian fails to beat John Cena. But there is definitely a mutual respect between the two now.

The money for Christian right now, as everyone seems to think is in a rivalry with Edge, which is why I left him as a Tweener of sorts. If Christian is going to come back to the E, he will first need to build a bit of credibility with the fans who did not follow him to TNA land. So you can do this, immediately injecting him into a storyline that may be familiar to most fans, and in a way jogging their memories about who he is and how entertaining he can be.

From this point, I would suggest some interaction between him and Edge in the Rumble match, which could lead to Edge stabbing him in the back and eliminating him. Now you have Christian and Edge mess with each other till management has no choice but to book a match between the two for Wrestlemania.

Todd Vote

This is good stuff. I'm very much an advocate of utilizing tournaments to the fullest and doing so would give Cage a legitimate reason to be contending for the title, allowing him to notch up wins against some big names to validify his spot in the fans' eyes. Bringing him in as a tweener will probably work for a feud with Cena, but I'd have to imagine he'd have to be solidified as a heel or face soon after that.

And we finish with my own ideas for Cage's return;

Raw 11/24: Chris Jericho comes out to celebrate his big victory over John Cena at Survivor Series. He brags about how he promised to save Raw and he has done just that. He says even though this isn't the Highlight Reel, he has a special guest, and introduces John Cena. Jericho doesn't even give Cena a chance to talk, but just verbally humiliates while getting right up in his face. Cena takes advantage of Jericho pausing for breath and goes for the FU, only for Jericho to slip out. Cena tackles Jericho and they brawl until officials rush the ringside area to hold them back.

That's when Christian's kick ass old music kicks in and Captain Charisma walks out on the entranceway. Christian addresses Jericho and Cena, who are still being restrained. Christian says something's never change. When he was last around, it was John Cena causing in all the problems and standing in between he and the world championship. He says Cena needs to step aside because he's had his shot and choked. Christian says it's ironic that a year ago, Jericho returned to save WWE from a boring, egomaniacal World Champion, and now the boring, egomaniacal world champion is Jericho. But it's OK, because Captain Charisma is here to save the day, and save the fans from Chris Jericho.

Jericho grabs a mic and says it sounds like Christian is going to make the same mistake he made. Jericho came back for the fans and failed in his quest for the title. But then he saved himself, and now he's a 5-time world champion. Jericho warns Cage not to make the mistake he made, and if he crosses Jericho, Cage really will need saving from Jericho.

Cena interrupts and ask if they're going to talk about it, or fight about it. Cena breaks free and takes out a few referees, causing the others to bail. Jericho and Cena brawl again as Christian swaggers his way to ringside. Cena goes for the FU again, but is distracted by Christian on the ring apron, allowing Jericho to slide out and score with a low blow. Jericho hits the Lionsault, then goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Cena drills him with a right to knock him away. FU try again, but this time it's Christian with the low blow! Jericho and Christian stare down. Cena up, but Jericho hits him with the Codebreaker! Jericho offers his hand, and Christian takes it… only to pull Jericho into the Unprettier! Christian poses with the World Championship as the show goes off the air.

Dan Wilcox

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This Week's Homework: If you could send any WWE Superstar to TNA or vice versa, who would it be, and how would you book their first feud in their new company?.

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