Not An Evolution Schematic 12.06.08: TNA Troubles

Posted by Mathew Sforcina on 12.06.2008

Like a TNA X Division Title match, short and all over the place.

Feedback, Feedback, F'ing Feedback!

Well, it's good to know that, if I run out of ideas, Video Game versions of wrestlers might fly as a column idea. Although I will ensure that next time there are photos and it's up to date. And that I don't say anything controversial in the teaser, so that it won't have to be re-written. Although that's more feedback than I've got since Tully, who was my highpoint.

The Hardy column is a bit old now, so I'll just address the last comment about the Hardys being respected- That is true, they are respected and there will always be some guys still cheering them. There was still a bunch of guys cheering for Cena during his Super-Cena run. The solution would be to simply tone the Hardys down a fair bit. Change their style to one that's less flashy. That'd piss the guys off, while as long as Jeff still did the Swanton the kids will still be happy, and it'd help Jeff heal up a bit. Matt would be the main guy of the two and I know he can work a less flashy style. Just have them mention how they have to ‘get serious' and problem solved.

Now, for those paying attention, you'll notice that this isn't about Australia. There's a few reasons for that. I thought about it, and I realised that it won't work for a few reasons. I kept getting depressed about the state of wrestling over here, we have more than our fair share of politics and problems for such a small wrestling scene (or rather such a collection of 5 or so different wrestling scenes). The predicate of the column, WWE Global Domination, hasn't been mentioned in a year or so and probably won't happen until Vince leaves/dies. Most of you won't have any connection or knowledge about the subject. I mean, it's all good for me to say that Aurora, Powerhouse Theo, Mason Childs and Surf Club at the most likely in my opinion to make it in the States, but you don't know who they are, probably.

And those that do aren't going to listen due to the bias factor. I work exclusively for a Aussie Wrestling company, and I genuinely believe it's the biggest and best. But I can't defend that to bias comments (nor my top 5 since 3 work for my fed, one was trained by us and the fifth has a working relationship with us), so with both markets not listening, what's the point? I might address it in passing in my memoirs edition in a week or 3.

So, instead, I'm going to take a scattershot approach to TNA, and address any topics that come to mind about it.



No Punching Bags

The Knockouts was, and still is somewhat, one of TNA's highlights. It's certainly one of the better run divisions in recent memory. It has it's low points, but no more than run of the mill for TNA. But I feel it's missing two things, two types of women, somewhat related, that it needs. One they already have under contract, they just need to move her around slightly, and they need to hire one more woman, but she shouldn't be that expensive. Basically, they need a heel and face opposite.

What I mean by that is that if you're going to go out and create a division with an identifiable theme or concept, you need an opposite, you need someone who competes in the division that is diametrically opposed to said theme. The classic example is Bob Backlund in the 90's. WWF was trying to get over their New Generation, and Bob was the exact opposite of it. WCW's Cruiserweight division had a few guys who at various points filled this general role, guys like La Parka, Chris Jericho, Syxx, Alex Wright, and, of course, Madusa, Daffney and Oklahoma. None of these were designed to be an opposite, but they did fill that role.

Samoa Joe's run in the X Division is another example of this, albeit a very weak one since he could keep up with them fairly well, although he did look like an exact opposite. The X Division now doesn't really have any real theme or style, so it doesn't need any opposites. But if they ever go back to what it once was, they'll have guys that can fill that role (Eric Young mainly).

But the Knockouts do have a theme, SHIMMER for the mainstream practically. They are where women wrestlers truly can excel, where female athletes can truly perform and prove themselves. The truth of that is arguable, but that's what they are going for. And practically all the roster fills this, either via being tough as hell (Kong, ODB, Jackie), or being relatively talented wrestlers (Traci, Roxxi, Raisha) or being average at best, which for a women's division in North America is still pretty impressive (Christy, Rhaka).

But if you're going to go for that, you need an opposite, or even better two, one face, one heel, so that both sides of the coin can interact with said opposite. Because that's the point, by interacting with the opposite, they reinforce the theme.

So, you need a couple of punching bags. You need a face and a heel who are completely ineffectual in the ring, a couple of punching bags, to reinforce how good everyone else is. Now, on the heel side, you can argue that they already have one, hell they have three, The Beautiful People and Sharmell. (Well OK, four if you count So Cal, but she's busy and not suitable due to a lack of experience.) However the Beautiful People are a little too effective for this to work, they are a threat somewhat, so you're left with Sharmell, who is actually a good fit. Because ironically you need someone talented to act the role of ineffectual egotist. Sharmell can do that, and what's more, it fits with the storylines right now. All you need to do is have the Mafia tell her that they should have all the titles, so while they find a X Division wrestler to recruit (may I suggest bringing in Masahiro Chono?), Sharmell should get the Knockout's Title, be a golden couple with Booker. She can agree, then run into the brick wall known as Awesome Kong over and over again, which would have the added benefit of turning Kong face. A Kong/Beautiful People fued would be rather cool I think.

But who's the face? Christy's heel, Lauren can't do it properly, and Josie, sorry, Sojourner is a little too useful for the role. Sadly I don't actually have a name I can suggest here, because there's few women good enough to play the role that can't be used in a better way. But twist my arm, and I'll have to plump for LuFisto, who is talented and cute enough to pull off the innocent designated crash dummy, which is basically what I'm saying they need right now. It's not the greatest way to debut, sure, but the division needs to solidify the theme it's developed, and besides, it's plenty easy to turn a run of getting beat up into a solid push down the line.

Still, basically what I'm saying is quite simple, TNA does not have a sympathetic face woman jobber. They need one. That's all.

Dixie Carter- Resisting the Urge

Dixie Carter you know as that hot MILF who owns TNA. She has, on several occasions, stated that she has no intention on becoming an on screen character, like practically all wrestling owners since Montreal. It is a slippery slope, and one that generally should be avoided.

But not in this case.

What little I've seen of Dixie on screen has shown an intelligent woman, who is, and this is my main point, very underexposed in the wrestling industry. A problem with the like of McMahon, Bischoff, Heyman etc is that they are, after a certain point, overexposed. You get sick of seeing them, but you can't make them vanish since they own/run the place. Dixie, right now, does not have that problem.

Of course, the last thing TNA needs is another authority figure, and we don't want to muddy the waters of the Foley/Jarrett ownership angle right now. But I strongly feel that, unless she's got a severe fear of acting or something, Dixie should, at a later stage, become a character, albeit a rarely used one, mostly as a Deus Ex Machina really, as much as that goes against my storytelling sensibilities. She's an untapped talent, I feel.

Misplaced Chants

Whenever something happens that the fans in attendance feel is stupid, idiotic or just plain wrong, it starts.

Fire Russo! *clap clap clapclapclap*

A nonsensical heel turn, a crap gimmick match, or just something people don't like.

Fire Russo! *clap clap clapclapclap*

A chant that has risen since 2000 WCW.

Fire Russo! *clap clap clapclapclap*

So, is it deserved? Is it logical? Is it sane? Is it a reasonable request?

Fire Russo! *clap clap clapclapclap*

Given my heading, it's a bit obvious where I'm hedging my bets. See, for all his faults, Russo is a talent. He is, what he's good at, he's really good. It's just what he isn't good at, he really, really, really sucks at.

Fire Russo! *clap clap clapclapclap*

Russo is a great guy for coming up with characters, has some opinions about how wrestling companies should work that are very good (everyone should have a character, pushing women, and everyone being consistent with their backstories), a decent interview writer/ideas man and can start a storyline like few others in the business.

Fire Russo! *clap clap clapclapclap*

But he's also a terrible booker in the traditional sense, has no concept of what wrestling is trying to achieve, seems to lack even a basic concept on how wrestling timing should work, and focuses far too much on out of the ring skits and talking.

Fire Russo! *clap clap clapclapclap*

So what do you do, with TNA as it is right now? Simple.

Fire Russo! *clap clap clapclapclap*

No, just re-assign him. Demote him slightly, and tell him to focus on characters and promos. Have him work with everyone on the roster in creating characters and working on their promos, and bring in someone else to actually book the show. And who should that be?

Paul Heyman.

TNA, right now, is in a very similar position to the old ECW, in that they have a bunch of talent that's still relatively new and a bunch of older guys somewhat past their prime. Heyman knows how to use that to book, it's when he's hamstrung by WWE's image/ideals (The New ECW) or tries to do too much with too little (his OVW stint) is when he fails. But TNA, right now, could use him, and use him well. Him and Russo, working together, will either work brilliantly or be a flaming disaster.

Either way, it'll be interesting.

De-mote Russo! *clap clap clapclapclap*

Well, that's all I got. Next week… I dunno, maybe an ES, maybe another NAES, maybe a cheap Xmas list, we'll see. Later.