The Piledriver Report 12.10.08: The Slammys Aftermath

Posted by Ronny Sarnecky on 12.10.2008

This past Monday night, the WWE held its first Slammy Awards presentation in eleven years. This week, “The Piledriver Report” takes a look at the winners, who should have won, and who should have been nominated.

This past Monday night, World Wrestling Entertainment presented the 2008 Slammy Awards. This was the first time since 1997 that the WWE, then the World Wrestling Federation, held the award ceremony. While the awards show featured many categories, like "Best Impersonation," that you normally would not expect to see on a wrestling awards show, this year's Slammy Awards probably featured more "realistic" wrestling categories that awards were given out for in previous years.

Despite having real categories, like "Match of the Year," "Superstar of the Year," "Tag Team of the Year," "Diva of the Year," and "Finishing Maneuver of the Year," the question of who would win was in doubt. When looking at the nominees in each category, you could pretty easily pick the winner. However, where the question lied is that this IS professional wrestling. It wouldn't shock anyone if the WWE decided to announce the winners that they want to win, and not WHO should win.

With that being said, I was really interested to see if the WWE would select those who actually deserved these awards. The other problem with the awards is that many of those who deserved to be nominated for certain categories were actually left off the ballet.

In the category of "Breakout Star of the Year," the nominees were Evan Bourne, Kofi Kingston, Ted DiBiase, Jr., and Vladimir Kozlov. My first initial reaction was "Where is CM Punk?" After all, shouldn't "Breakout Star" be someone who broke into the main event scene? To me CM Punk is the WWE "Breakout Star of the Year." He went for ECW afterthought, to Money in the Bank winner, and finally World Heavyweight champion. However, after examining the nominees that the WWE listed, I got the impression that the WWE's idea of "Breakout Star" is actually the WWE's way of saying "WWE Rookie of the Year." If you look at this as the WWE's top rookie, I wouldn't pick Kozlov, the eventual winner, to take home the trophy. Kozlov did not "break out." Quite the contrary. As his "rookie year" progressed, Kozlov went from being a green worker to a guy that proved he has no business being anywhere near the main events. Just look at his "thrilling" WWE World title match against Triple H at the Survivor Series for proof. That match was beyond boring. If I were to pick a winner, based on the WWE's selected nominees, I would have given the award to Kofi Kingston. Sure, Ted DiBiase, Jr. will probably turn out to be one of the WWE's franchise players within the next couple of years. However, despite winning the tag team titles, and getting a rub from Randy Orton, I couldn't vote for DiBiase since he has been out of action shooting "The Marine 2." Evan Bourne is a great worker, and if work rate were what this award judged, I would have selected him. Unfortunately, Bourne hasn't done anything to separate himself from the pack yet. The closest he's come is by teaming up with Rey Mysterio, Jr. before hurting his ankle.

The "Best Musical Performance" was won by R-Truth for his entrance rap on the way to the ring before his SmackDown! match on September 15th. This is one of those frivolous categories that don't belong on a pro wrestling awards show list. However, if I were to have selected the winner, I would have gone with Santino Marella's rap on the November 17th edition of RAW. Marella was so funny in his performance that even the faces in the ring couldn't keep a straight face.

The "Announce Team of the Year" featured one of the biggest upsets of the Slammy Awards presentations. It was pretty much a foregone conclusion that the winners should be SmackDown's Jim Ross and Tazz. While I admit that I don't catch ECW that often, when I do see it, Matt Stryker is very good behind the desk. That being said, his partner in crime, Todd Grisham, is the weakest link of every other WWE announcer that was up for this award. How can Stryker get this award when his teammate is Todd Grisham? This is definitely a bogus award winner. Jim Ross is arguably the greatest announcer in the history of sports entertainment. Tazz is probably the best announcer in the business today. Combine the two, and there are your "Announce Team of the Year," not the WWECW duo.

Since the WWE tries to plug their website to death, you knew that they had to include a category from their website features. In "Best WWE.com Exclusive," the "Dirt Sheet" hosted by the Miz and Johnny Morrison won the Slammy. I couldn't agree with this choice more. The "Dirt Sheet" is the main reason to visit the WWE.com website. "The longest reign tag team champions in recent history" have a great sense of humor, and are extremely entertaining. Just look at how they "served" Cryme Tyme on RAW a few weeks ago. Cryme Tyme is supposed to be the wise cracking tag team, but the Miz and Morrison gave both members a verbal bitch slap when they hit the "thugs" with a barrage of insults that Cryme Tyme had no comeback for.

For "Best Impersonation," the WWE just nominated Charlie Haas in his various forms of alter egos. They nominated "Haas" Hogan, Charlie Haas Layfield "CHL," Hass as Mr. Perfect, and the "GlamaHaas." While the "GlamaHaas" won the award, the WWE dropped the ball here. They failed to nominate Haas' greatest impression to date. That being Charlie Cena. His looks and mannerisms were perfect. Not to mention that he had the crowd fooled for a couple of seconds into thinking that John Cena was coming out. Out of the candidates that the WWE provided, I would have chosen Charlie's "Mr. Perfect" impersonation. Those vignettes were incredible. They were very funny. At the end, you knew that he wouldn't catch the football. However, when he took out the waiter in the process, just awesome! Or should I say, "perfect?"

One of the awards that I was worried would go to someone undeserving was the "Tag Team of the Year" Slammy. This had "WWE screwing the best team for the face team they want to market" written all over it. Thankfully, I was dead wrong. The Miz and Johnny Morrison deserved to win this award. In a land where tag team wrestling is nearly extinct, The Miz and Morrison have proven that if you pair together two wrestlers with chemistry together, they will make the fans want to watch tag teams, despite the WWE's belief on tag teams. I admit that I was never a fan of the Miz. I thought he was awful, and far from entertaining. I thought that the best part of the Miz was when he was off my TV. I longed for the day when the WWE would finally cut him. Then, the WWE creative department decided to pair him with former MNM star, Johnny Morrison. Ever since then, the two have been magical on the mic, and entertaining in the ring. Especially, John Morrison. Morrison has improved so much over the last year that he should be one of the WWE's franchise players by the time WrestleMania 26, or 27 the latest.

"Best Finishing Manuever" was another award that the WWE got right. I really expected Randy Orton to win the award for his RKO finisher. The move is incredibly over. Plus, it's a great move. If that move won, I couldn't complain. However, my vote would have been for the eventual winner, Evan Bourne's Shooting Star Press. The move is extremely hard to do, and Bourne does it flawlessly. For that, he deserves recognition.

In the "Extreme Moment of the Year," was there ever any doubt that Jeff Hardy's Swanton Bomb off of the RAW set onto Randy Orton would be the winner. It had to win. The WWE has been hammering us with that clip since the day it happened. While I have a fondness for the "Jericho putting Michaels through the Jeri-Tron 2000," I can't argue with the Jeff Hardy pick. The Jericho/Michaels angle brought me back to the days of Michaels putting Jannety through a plate glass on the "Barber Shop." However, my vote went to Jeff Hardy, because he's nuts.

The race for "Diva of the Year" surprised me. I really expected the WWE to give this award to Kelly Kelly. After all, Kelly-squared is the Diva that the WWE is trying to get behind the most. That being said, the best Diva is Beth Phoenix. Out of all the women, she is the best worker. With Santino Marella by her side, she is very entertaining as well. This award was a no brainer. However, the WWE seems to lack brains at times. Thankfully, this was not one of them.

I was shocked to see Hornswaggle and Fit Finlay as a nominee for "Couple of the Year." That's a little weird. I thought this was one of the toughest categories to choose from. Santino Marella and Beth Phoenix are extremely entertaining. On many Monday nights, they are one of the top two or three reasons to watch RAW. For most of 2008, the courtship between Edge and Vicki Guerrero was THE reason to watch SmackDown! While I give major props to Santino and Phoenix, I agree with the WWE. Edge and Vicki is the couple of the year. Santino is extremely entertaining, as is Edge. Both members in the coupling play off perfectly against the other. There are two things that separate Edge and Vicki from Santino and Phoenix. For one, Edge is a main eventer, probably one of the top three performers in the company. Secondly, while both pairs are heels, nobody gets the kind of heat that Vicki does.

The "Oh My God Moment of the Year" couldn't have gone to anyone else BUT CM Punk! His unexpected World title win was probably one of the top five moments in the WWE in 2008. These days, there are very few things that make me "pop" in the world of sports entertainment. CM Punk's title victory over Edge was definitely one of them.

"Damn! Moment of the Year" featured candidates that made you say "DAMN! That got a nomination?" The Great Khali's Kiss Cam victory in this category was probably just so the WWE could give Sgt. Slaughter, Jim Duggan, Howard Finkel and Kung Fu Naki something to do, as well as to further Khali's "rep" for being a ladies' man by making out with Mickie James. If I had to choose from the WWE's nominees, I would have gone with Santino Marella's attempt at performing Melina's entrance. It was hysterical. Once again, Santino's attempt at humor led to a face breaking character and laughing in the ring. What made the skit even better was Beth Phoenix saying "No! Not there!" Then Santino's selling of his "injury" by putting two ice packs on his groin. Funny stuff.

I was disappointed in the "Match of the Year" candidates. Don't get me wrong, they are all really good matches. However, the best WWE match this year was the Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels ladder match for the World Heavyweight title. That match didn't even make the list of nominees. With that being said, out of all the choices given, I believe the right match won. Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels had every thing a match could have. There was great psychology, really good wrestling, and two performers on the biggest stage in a "dream match." Throw in the fact that this would be Ric Flair's final professional wrestling match, and this contest was a shoe-in for the "Match of the Year" among the candidates given.

The "WWE Superstar of the Year" came down to the following nominees: Chris Jericho, John Cena, Triple H, Edge, Batista, and Jeff Hardy. I have a BIG problem with these choices. First, John Cena doesn't belong on this list. Until the Survivor Series, he didn't hold a World Championship all year. Plus, he was out of action for most the year. If you are going to have Cena as a nominee, then you should include Randy Orton. At least Orton held a World Championship this year. Another guy that doesn't belong is Batista. This guy has been jobbed out more times this year then I can ever remember him jobbing. I think both Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker are more deserving of the award. Shawn Michaels was part of the greatest storyline of the year in 2008 in his feud with Chris Jericho. The Undertaker was the focal point on SmackDown! in his war with Edge. I was hoping that the WWE didn't go for who they "wanted" to win. I thought they would give it to John Cena or Triple H. Once I saw Stephanie McMahon at the podium, I thought for sure that Triple H would be named "Superstar of the Year." However, for me, it came down to Edge and Chris Jericho. Edge carried SmackDown! all year. When he was in "hell" for three months, the SmackDown! brand suffered. It went from the show to watch to the show to read the spoilers on. Chris Jericho had an awesome year. His feud with Shawn Michaels will be remembered for years to come. They had an old time feud. Ten years from now, people will hold their feud in the same high regard that classic feuds from the eighties, like Piper-Snuka, Magnum-Blanchard, Flair-Rhodes, and Sheik-Slaughter are today. Top that off with a record setting Intercontinental title win, and two World championships. Not to mention the fact that Jericho transformed himself from a wisecracking upper mid card wrestler to a serious, "I mean business" main eventer. The choice was clear, and the WWE did the right thing to give the "Superstar of the Year" Slammy award to Chris Jericho.

In an article in "Variety" magazine, the writer mentioned that the WWE may make the Slammy awards a yearly tradition. If they do, hopefully the WWE will continue to give those deserving, like Chris Jericho and the Miz/Morrison, the recognition they deserve. I also hope they will treat the Slammys like a true end of the year awards show, and will get rid of the non-wrestling categories, while adding more traditional ones. Maybe then, we will be covering the Slammys like a real event, like we now do the WWE Hall of Fame. If that day comes, we will all be the winners.