Truth B Told 12.11.08: He’s Not a Heavyweight, He’s My Brother

Posted by Bayani Domingo on 12.11.2008

Remember, not every Jackson was going to be Michael, someone had to be Tito. Wait…in retrospect, which one is better off now?


Jeff Hardy is promising us that the Hardy's family Christmas is going to be the happiest damn Christmas since Jeff and Matt got their very first matching pair of cargo pants because he is bringing home the WWE Title. Jeff has big plans for the championship and it might just be the stepping stone towards greater fame and fortune…maybe even a TRIPLE wide trailer this time. Yep, "Rainbow Brite" is certainly poised to take the next step in his career and capture a World Title in the WWE and put his name amongst such luminaries as Rey Mysterio, CM Punk, Vince McMahon and the Great Khali. But let's not forget what this title win might mean for not just Jeff, but for the entire Hardy family, a place in the history books that might never be equaled. In fact this would be the only time in the history of the WWE/F that two brothers will have held "World Titles" simultaneously, both kayfabe and real life, it's amazing that with all of the talented wrestlers that has come through the "e" that we've never had a true family wrestling dynasty…at least until now. Or…possibly Sunday.

I don't want to talk about "Kayfabe" brothers in wrestling like Undertaker/Kane, Edge/Christian, or Ray/Devon. I'm talking about the true flesh and blood, the Guerreros, the Von Erichs, and of course the Hardys. Now when we think about wrestling brothers in modern day wrestling we are most family with the siblings who make up tag teams like the Steiners, Harlem Heat, Andersons, Primo and Carlito, Funks, Garvins, Armstrongs, Rougeaus etc, etc. Inevitably there are those within the brother teams that spinoff into singles careers. What is inevitable is that one brother either does well while the other toils in mediocrity or they both fail. It is rare indeed when both brothers succeed in the business. Scott Steiner is a former WCW Champion as "Big Poppa Pump", while the "Dog Faced Gremlin" won the US Title…for a few weeks. Booker T is a 6 time, 6 time, 6 time World Champion, Stevie Ray…was the leader of the n.W.o JV team. Kevin Von Erich is alive and…okay, let's not go there. Hell, most people don't even realize that the "Macho Man" and "The Genius" were brothers. Guess which Poffo will go down as the successful brother? I guess in the world of siblings someone is going to be the Haylie to the Hillary Duff. Although there is arguably one brother duo that might have been the exception to the rule.

Bret and Owen Hart are arguably the most successful brothers in modern day American wrestling. I'm going to preface that because the world of Lucha contains so many sets of brothers (Mil Mascaras/Dos Caras/Sicodelico, Dr. Wagner Jr./Silver King, etc) that I do not have the time nor the gumption to actually explore the entire family tree. Bret Hart was a multi-time World Champion and Owen Hart was an accomplished mid-carder in his own right that many believed had the goods to one day challenge for the WWF Championship. In fact the Owen vs Bret feud still goes down as one of the best "Brother vs Brother" feuds in the history of the WWE/F. While it seems like tag partners are always destined to feud and especially tag teams made up of brothers, it is rare when a good actual brother feud takes place.

The traditional thought is that a "blood feud" involving actual blood relations will make for a more involved and impassioned storyline, that isn't always the case if fans perceive the brothers to not be on equal footing or ability. Even the booking can sometime tip off the results of a good brother feud, but if you're lucky you end up with a couple of wrestlers who are willing to do whatever it takes to sell the story and aren't afraid to kill each other or themselves in the process. The first time the Hardy Boyz (how "hood" was that "z"?) feuded it was anything but riveting and intriguing. The problem with the feud was that it just wasn't believable from the aspect of either brother being a true "heel" and the physicality just didn't seem to live up to expectations. It is also a well known rumor that a proposed furthering of the feud was going to come from a bizarre love triangle involving Lita, but the brothers refused to go along with it and were then shunted back down the card. Odd how a similar real-life situation then came about and rocketed a non-Hardy into superstardom.

It seems like in wrestling the gene pool has truly dried up as there are fewer and fewer successful wrestling siblings in the industry now. On the Indy scene most brothers are tag team partners: the Briscoes, the Jacksons (Youngbucks), the Crists (Irish Airbourne). Even the DiBiase boys started as a tag team early on, but then again I think we know which DiBiase is on the fast track to super (mid-card)stardom and a wonderful career in straight to DVD movies and which is…well, wrestling next weekend for NWA in their showcase. Ted has dreams of being a big player in Hollywood and Mike is wrestling IN Hollywood…in front of about 90 people. Most wrestlers grow up alongside their brothers with the plans of achieving success along with their kin and not at the expense of them, the only problem that presents is that it makes it difficult to stand out from the other. If Jay wasn't the older brother and got a head start (along with Mark's inability to stay healthy) we might be talking about Mark as the Briscoe with the brighter future. As far as the Jacksons and Crists go I have no idea which is going to break out from the other, but there is a good chance they might not be destined for singles success. Then again with the state of tag team wrestling, maybe staying a team isn't the worst way to go. Sometimes the reasons that brothers remain as tag partners is that the whole truly is more than the sum of the parts. With the Hardy boys that remains to be seen.

At this point you could make an argument for either brother being the more successful one. Jeff Hardy has long been the head case and sloppier wrestler both in and outside of the ring, however it can not be argued that he sells more merchandise, has a bigger fan following, and has long been considered the one destined for higher heights. Matt Hardy has been hailed by the IWC as the harder worker, the better wrestling mind, and the more dedicated wrestler who had held Team Xtreme together and was a huge part of getting them to the top of the Tag Division. While he now has his own following and is the first of the brothers to win a "World Championship", his ceiling doesn't seem as high as Jeff's as he is holding the "C" title, but Jeff had a very real chance at the "A" title on RAW and now is chasing the "B" belt. Both brothers are talented in their own way, however it's clear that if Jeff had half the brains and heart Matt does, he would be the Bret instead of both wrestlers looking very Owen-esque at the moment.

I wonder if being the brother of successful wrestler presents greater difficulties and expectations than being the son of a famous wrestler? If you think about Randy Orton and Ted DiBiase they need to achieve a moderate level of success to reach the level their fathers did. Primo only has to win a US or IC title and he's level with Carlito, if DH Smith manages to stick in the "E" he to win a good number of belts just to live up to Davey Boy's legacy. Reid Flair recently wrestled his first match along side David Flair and…well all he has to do is step inside a WWE ring and he probably has David's career trumped. Look, I know David won the US and Tag Titles in WCW…but…he's David Flair. ‘nuff said. Heck, Cody Rhodes has both a brother AND a father's legacy to live up to. Okay, actually just a father's legacy as Goldust may have won the IC, Tag, and Hardcore champions, but it seems like the "e" would rather distance him from Dusty's name all together. I'm not surprised that the "e" hasn't touched on Goldust being Cody's brother because they more or less painted themselves into a booking corner if they want to push Cody and keep him as a serious wrestler. Again it looks like the younger brother has a higher ceiling then the elder, however the older brother has the accolades that the younger may not reach, especially in this day and age of microwaved pushes and wellness violations. Across the board it seems like the average career of a WWE wrestler is about half of what it used to be.

All brothers are not considered equal, I'm not a geneticist, but there must be something in the wrestling gene that makes one brother more dominant than the other. Jeff and Matt have the opportunity to buck the trend as both brothers may be able to achieve their individual success without having to achieve it at the expense of the other. It has already been proven that a Hardy Boy feud just isn't a money feud which means that…the "e" will probably do it anyways. You would think that the draw of a pair of brothers holding 2/3rds of the titles in the company would be worth the build, however it has also been proven that Jeff Hardy is just not reliable enough to be trusted with a major title for any length of time. His own "personal demons" seem to derail him time and time again and in some indirect way it may be affecting how the company looks at Matt as well. Then again Matt had his own little melt down as well that was a chief reason for him not being seriously pushed as a singles competitor until just this year. What also hurt Matt was his lack of a truly marketable title feud for him.

The real question here is whether or not Jeff will be able handle all of the barriers set in front of him and come away with a World Title. Jeff has to deal with the ego of HHH, the returning Edge, the beginning to the road to Wrestlemania that usually dictates a "Heel" being champion for the "face" to chase, and of course the sweet siren song of illegal drugs. Or legal ones laced with semi-legal ones and rolled in confectioner's sugar. The fact is that Jeff does sell merchandise, is extremely popular, and would make for a great "story of redemption", the only problem is that the story might be short lived if the "e" isn't convinced Jeff is truly on the straight and narrow.

Whether it is the pull of a Hardy feud with something valuable on the line (I'm talking Matt's ECW title, not respect…cuz' we're talking about Jeff here) or Jeff's own untrustworthiness is the reason, I would probably bet against the Hardy's bringing home duel gold this X-mas. It seems to almost be in the cards to always allow one brother to rule over the other and unless a miracle happens it looks like "Wellness Approved" Edge will be holding on to the gold for at least another PPV. Then again you never know what can happen over the course of a long career. Who would have thought that at one time there would gold amongst the Guerrero brothers in the "e" and it would be held by Chavo Classic?

The Truth

Can Jeff win the title this PPV? Perhaps…but it seems unlikely he'll hold it for long if he does. The possibility of the Hardy's hold the titles simultaneously seems slim, but if it were to happen, then one would think that would make a nice little Wrestlemania moment. In a storybook ending it would be the brothers holding the titles high as they are showered with confetti, but you know, Vince has his own agenda. In the history of wrestling brothers there are some amazing tag teams, some great individual performances, and more than a few rotten branches on the old family true, but one thing remains: the family of wrestling loves a family of wrestlers.

Coming Up Short

So MVP is on a losing streak huh? How exactly is this supposed to be a "push"? Has the "losing streak" ever worked for anyone? Ever? Remember when Christian kept losing and throwing tantrums? When Paul London couldn't win in the cruiser division? Remember the Detroit Lions? Of course you don't…unless you're JT, then you drink to forget the pain…and that outfit you wore at Wrestlemania last year. But I digress, the "losing streak" gimmick is just one of the laziest angles in wrestling and I can't see MVP coming out of this any better off than he was when he was owning the mid-card on Smackdown and putting together a fine little feud with Matt Hardy. Something about this classic "storyline" that always leaves my interest coming up short. C'mon "creative", you've telling me this is the best you can come up with?

6 Degrees of…



You know, I don't give a good Gawd Damn if Pac Man has been in this section before. That crazy little bastard kicked the "Golden Boy's" ASS last weekend. Hell, he whooped De La Hoya so bad that I'm not even going to risk going to a Taco shop for a week just to be safe. Now if only another "Underdog" can manage to beat a physically dominating icon to win the Knockouts Championship…



Yeah, I know she's got an "Eight Head" under those bangs, but I just look at it as a "target".

Whatchu talkin' bout readers?

I guess there were some issues with Korrina Rico and Vanessa Ng from last week. Amazing how picky y'all have become. Just for that I'm slipping in a tranny or two in the next few months just to fuck with you. I'm just hoping that Angry Bear and Tim enjoyed their days off work yesterday. J/k guys. Oh and Blackbird13, good lookin' out, kid. I knew I hadn't gone country crazy. But you know what they say, "Shave a Whore, Ride a cowboy"….wait…is that right?

6 Degrees Results

#1.

6 degrees - a little quickie courtesy of our friends at wikipedia.

1. Miranda Kerr was born on 4/20/83, exactly 7 years after...

2. Joey Lawrence was born (4/20/76).

3. Joey Lawrence appeared on Dancing with the Stars.

4. There was a British version on Ice called Dancing on Ice, and the first season was won by professional skater...

5. Daniel Whitson, who was born (11/21/76) exactly 7 years before...

6. The Bella Twins were born (11/21/83).

Posted By: BobbyC

Joey Lawrence and male figure skaters? Scary.

Left Overs…

TNA went and signed the only Black Female wrestler left on the Indies when former SHIMMER talent, Josie, was signed and renamed Sojourner Bolt. TNA is already planning for when the WWE inevitably wishes Ron Killings "Good luck in his future endeavors" and they will team them up with Creed to form the kick ass firm of "Sojourner, Truth, and Consequences". Pat Sajack would be so proud.

Just had to gloat for a second, but did anyone catch my main man Manny "Pac Man" Pacquiao beating De La Hoya into retirement? I haven't seen a Filipino fight so hard since the last time there was only one pig ear left on the lechon.

WWE creative has been discussing a possible return of Kurt Angle, basically a "what if" kind of thing with potential scenarios and storylines. A few potential storylines they are running with right now are: What if…Kurt Angle came back to feud with CM Punk over his "addiction problems", What if…Kurt angle came back as the new ECW commissioner, and What if…Kurt Angle joined the Fantastic Four.

Looks like Victoria is preparing to retire. I guess she wasn't amused when the WWE told her they'd make her the "Top Banana" again in the Diva's division.

This really is the Orient Express isn't it? Kung Fu Naki , Jimmy Wang Yang, all we need now is a manager for them…perhaps, Gail Kim…Chee?

Dr. Wagner Jr. has been suspended for 30 days in Mexico City. I had no idea Luchadors could be charged with malpractice. Then again that woman should have known something was up when he armdragged her into the stirrups.

When Cryme Tyme and Candice Michelle came out to present the "Best Finisher of the Year" did anyone else think, "Candice has this one won, hands down…and then up…and then down…and then up…".

Someone will have to confirm this for me but did I read last weekend that a wrestler by the name of Bao Nguyen wrestled against Tony Kozina in RoH and beat him with a German Suplex? How is he not using a Vietnamese Suplex? You know, it's like a German Suplex in a way, but instead of a lifting overhead throw it's a…okay it's a Back Rake. But I'll be damned if it's not that much deadlier with a "French Tip".

How fucked up is it that CMLL is trying to get Alex Koslov deported since he left them for AAA? Hey, wait a second? Does that shit work? Damn... no wonder white boys love Asian chicks so much.

Dennis Rodman is the first ever CCW Champion, beating out Todd Bridges. Which is a lot like beating out a crackhead in a foot race for a hamburger. Actually, it's like a crackhead beating a crackhead in a foot race for a hamburger.

Anyone else hoping that TNA signs Solid Snake to feud with Suicide? Maybe a Full Metal Gear Solid Mayhem match? With special guest enforcer…Q-bert!! What? You think they can afford to book the guy from Burgertime??

So then the 2nd generation stable is going to be called "The Legacy"?

"on 12/27 in New York, the team of Davey Richards, Eddie Edwards, and Go Shiozaki with Larry Sweeney, will face the team of Brent Albright, Erick Stevens, and Roderick Strong in a "Come-As-You-Are New York City Street Fight"!". That sounds like an opportunity for a real "Coming out party" for some of these guys. No literally…"Come as you are", sounds like a gay disco that even Rhett Titus would feel overdressed for.

The Great Booty Debate 2008

I love it when people post comments that say "Those two bitches are ugly…Asian chick is too skinny…Latina is fat…I would kick them both out of bed". Let's be honest for a minute guys…there is no one reading this column right now who is pulling down premium 9.9 quality trim on the regular. Let's all be real honest. But you know this week I strived to one up last week's choices and after picking out this week's Latina…I decided not to send in one of my best Asian bitches to die in a horrifically lopsided way…hopefully this one can rally at least a vote or two. Figured after the De La Hoya fight that the Latino Nation needed a pity win.

Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



Niki Oh: How about a trim?

Random Latina Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



Alexis Lopez:….DAMN!! That is all.

Batista recently revealed he had tapped Kelly Kelly for a while, but dumped her because she was too immature. Because 21 year old girls are usually renowned for their wit and worldliness? Look, a few years ago that bitch couldn't even figure out how to unhook her own bra on TV…we're not expecting her to form an opinion on Obama's proposed stimulus plan, she just needs to know that "The Breakfast Club" is not the newest AM offering from Jack in the Box.

I thought Samoa Joe was just as likely to eat a pin as Brother Ray or Brother Devon, hell, look at those three, the only one on that team that wasn't going to have a chance eat anything was AJ Styles. Then again the only way I think Ray or Devon would have eaten the pin was if it was country fried or cream filled.

Pimpin' In High Places

So I hear they are looking for new wrestling writers here at 411. You TOO can join the elite staff of writers covering the fascinating and hip world of wrestling…or you could spend your time trying to get laid. Aww, who are you kidding, at least you have an excuse now for staying home on a Friday night…you're recapping Smackdown…in Espanol:

Ask 411

CL Punik

Csonka's R's

BoS

HH

CoH

Threat x 3

Nega-Evo Scheme

Short column this week since I've thrown my back out this week. Again. Damn, I am OLD. You know, it's not getting any easier the older I get, in fact all this talk about 30 being the new 20 makes me wish that 20 year olds were built a lot sturdier than they used to be. I'm going to blame all the extra miles put in at the mall shopping for X-mas gifts. I swear, when I have kids I'm raising those little bastards to be Jehovah's witnesses.

Till then, the Truth will set you free.

-B