Truth B Told 12.18.08: Suspension of Disbelief

Posted by Bayani Domingo on 12.18.2008

I’m now a Black woman struggling for equality amongst a male dominated zone in 411 who is trying to make a name for herself and teach her fatherless children the meaning of the world “Perseverance”. What? So now we have to start up storylines based on logic now? Pffft, whatevers dude.


Did anyone happen to catch RAW this week? From what I can gather Deuce is now going by Sim Snuka instead of Jimmy Snuka Jr, or even Solo Snuka like he was in OVW. I guess now he'll be accompanied to the ring by a giant glowing green diamond over his head. HBK revealed at the PPV that he was flat broke because he paid for his own medical expenses and apparently sunk all his money in Enron, Bear Stearns, and financing the movie "Delgo". Kane has some sort of relationship (or at least he does in the same way Cook thinks he and Traci Brooks has one) with Kelly Kelly and she managed to get The Miz's ass kicked as a result of telling Kane that his "Reality Check" was in her "mail box". Not to mention that now Miz and Morrison are the new WWE Tag Champions even though they aren't even on RAW. I realize this is the beginning of the "Road to Wrestlemania", but I didn't even see any construction signs before we started getting a crew of jack hammers down here on the old pavement. What happened to a "smooth transition" in character progression?

I'm going to give you two examples of what character transitions and you let me know what you think is more seamlessly integrated into the current storylines: 1. JBL goes from beer swilling bodyguard for hire to millionaire after it is revealed that he is a financial whiz in the stock market which is based on his real life success as an investor, parlaying a mid-card salary into millions of dollars and a strong reputation on Wallstreet as a wunderkind. 2. Bobby Roode the enforcer of Team Canada becomes Robert Roode the rich snob who suddenly inherited a ton of money from a rich dead uncle and now is all about the Loony's. Which one seems like a better transition? The Roode transition was almost as stupid as when the "e" did it with Jamie Noble way back when…oh and to think they also decided he was Nunzio's cousin as well…geez, they might as well put him back in a mask and teamed him with Jimmy Yang.

Okay, how about Sting going from Perma-Babyface to ‘tweener in the matter of a few months? That all seems to make sense right? his reasoning the disrespect, his backing up of his fellow "legends" and "veterans", it all fits in nicely. The same goes with Chris Jericho's turn into a mega-heel. It was about the fans loving HBK and rejecting Y2J, it was about immorality being cheered while the righteous and pious man was booed. But what the hell happened with "Stone Cold" Sharky? How the hell were we to believe that we are supposed to care about this career jobber? what's even worse is the fact that guys disappear for long periods of time and we're just supposed to forget who they were before they left. Big Daddy V was once the "World's Biggest Lover", Hurricane Helms is back again, and does NO ONE remember Dolph Ziggler was a cheerleader?

Look at the progression of the new WWE Champion, Jeff Hardy. He went from a tag wrestler, to a daredevil, to a crazy obsessed man with nothing to lose in his quest for his final redemption, the Championship Title. Over the past two months we've seen a real change in Jeff Hardy to the point where his title win didn't come as a huge "Surprise" as much as it was an "Upset". We didn't believe Jeff wouldn't win the title, we just didn't think it would happen so quickly. Still his feud with HHH has gone well because of the subtle tweaks to his character and the booking that always left him just a little short of the win, he was capable, just unlucky, or at the worst he was barely out-smarted by an even craftier veteran. The set-up for a rematch with Edge should be good as they can easily build up the history between the two men. THAT is a great way to build a very slow and subtle character change and to slowly build a feud. Jeff had all the talent in the world, but could never put it all together and HHH knew it, it was only due to Edge's involvement that Jeff was able to win the title and the saga can still continue between Trips and Hardy. (Btw, does anyone else notice that as soon as I write about a subject the "e" has to go and book the total opposite just to piss me off?)

If I look over at TNA I would have to say that the subtle change to characters like Abyss and Petey Williams haven't been all too successful, part of Petey's problem of course was the injury to Scott Steiner. But when you look at Shelley and Sabin's change from plucky babyfaces to "Dickhead Heels" it has been done in a very good way. The onus of course has been put on their young cockiness and their refusal to buddy up to everyone in the Frontline, while still maintaining their own separate agendas. If you look at the difference from where James Storm is now to where he was a year ago and you have to be surprised at how popular he has become and it's amazing to think that only a few short years ago everyone thought that "WildFat" Chris Harris would be the one to breakout as a star on that team. Overall TNA has done a great job of building up the "MEM vs Frontline" storyline and it didn't seem really forced or out of thin air, kind of like what happened when Rhaka Khan decided to join Amazing Kong and unite all Black female wrestlers in one group. I just hope they won't be called "Pretty Mean Sistahs". Now where the hell is Bolt and Ms. Jackie?

It really gets me that "creative" just comes up with these ideas and just drops them in the middle of a show without really setting the stage for the storyline. Sure the JBL/HBK storyline had some what of a back story to it, but are we really to believe that Shawn Michaels is broke? He has money to buy all manner of snazzy chain mail vests and fancy leather pants, but he doesn't seem to have revenue coming in from shilling his DX sweatshirts and gay leather bear? HBK went broke over night and now JBL is paying him money on top of his salary as well as handling his finances? Yikes. This is on the same level as when Undertaker went from "Dead man" to "Biker" and back to "Dead man" without a lot of explanation. There are definitely the potential for smoother transitions, the Deuce to Sim Snuka transition makes sense considering they are tying him into the whole "Legacy" storyline and having Cody and Manu "scout" potential recruits is a great evolution to the angle they are running. Considering that there are a good half dozen possibilities in the "e" with D.H. Smith, Natalya, Goldust, the Colons, and even Jesse, it makes sense that those two would be looking for new allies. Why can't other storylines evolve and begin in such an organic manner?

I realize that watching and enjoying wrestling involves a great degree of "suspension of disbelief" but at least give us some sort of logical reason and sense of continuity for why things are happening, why guys are feuding, and why angles are taking place. I know that seems like a lot to ask, but when you end up with James Mitchell somehow siring a Puerto Rican son that has never been mentioned before and "Latino Heat" siring a bastard child he happened to give to his bestest midget lucha buddy then sometimes it just makes you cringe. I know this is all a means to an end and most times if a good set of matches is the result most of us don't really care about HOW a feud starts, it still doesn't sit quite right with me. Sometimes it seems like "creative" books a wrestler so far into a corner that they can't seem to move him outside of that box and end up just dropping a bomb on us fans in order to give them a new line of feuds and stories. You run out of ideas with your current feuds and you need to shake things up so instead of revisiting old storylines and rivalries or slowly moving a wrestler in a new direction you simply pluck him out of his current role and plop him into a brand new non-sensical angle. I'm not saying I cling to the "status quo" and stale angles and feuds, but I am just asking for some sense of logic in character development and new angles. Is that too much to ask? Okay, I guess it is.

Haven't any of you watched an episode of RAW, Impact, or Smackdown and watched a storyline unfold in the matter of 3 minutes and said, "Really? This is actually happening right now? Where the hell did that come from?" Hasn't there ever been a pairing of Diva and wrestler or a tag team formation that made you go, "Wha??". Hasn't there ever been a repackaging of a wrestler or a re-debut that just made you wonder if the writers really think that the average wrestling fan has a long term memory of about 3 weeks? There used to be a time when long term booking and management's patience with developing talents allowed for a good long transition with wrestling personas and angles, now it seems like a good part of booking is just plopped in a microwave and is ready to serve up to the viewing public. All I know is that in two weeks when they repackage Tomko as a bad ass Mormon with a string of valet wives I may have to take a little break from wrestling. We have seen some great storylines and builds happen this year, I'm just hoping that we see a lot more of them in '09.

The Truth

There are "shake ups" and then here are just resets. I know some people don't care about storylines in general and would rather just watch the matches themselves. But I'm one of the few people out there that get so much more out of the matches themselves when the storylines and feud is set up logically. Even if it's just a matter of "Hey, you have the title and I want the title" that is all well and good, but I don't need to have these forced storylines shoved down my throat to get behind two guys feuding. It just seems like the use of long term booking has just been kicked to the curb and management and the writing staff just don't have the patience, time, and creativity to bring it back.

Coming Up Short

Congrats to Miz and Morrison for winning the World Tag Team Titles, wish I could have seen it. I wish anyone else could have seen it. Yeah, I know that unexpected stuff has to happen at House Shows just to entice people to go, but you know, you also have to figure out a way to make those damn titles mean something and if you aren't featuring them on PPV's then how are you going to do it. Not that the actual re-match on RAW wasn't fairly entertaining, but you know, you have to figure a way to bring the titles back into prominence. Hopefully this is the team to do the job because I would hate to see the prestige of those title come up short again. Also, did anyone else realize the Colon brothers had the other set of titles? Yeah, makes me cringe a bit when I realize that Festus and Jesse are the defacto #1 contenders to both titles at this point.

6 Degrees of…



One of these two men is having the BEST WEEK EVER!! I can't wait to see what happens with Jeff Hardy is caught trying to sell the Championship title for a bag full of Quaaludes and gallon of neon body paint. Ahh, who am I kidding, I'm glad the guy finally got his day in the sun and if you look back over the past few years I have been saying he should get a title run at some point, just like I did with Rey Mysterio and CM Punk…uh…okay, bad example. Well at least he can't be doing worse than the man who eBay-ed a Senate seat…



Rod Blagojevich. Who sounds like a "developmental talent" who will soon be renamed Juan Durfull.

Whatchu talkin' bout readers?

How bout some Ana de la Reguera, Bayani?

Posted By: Adobo Putoshop

Happy now? Actually, I kinda am. Damn, seems like there's a 6DO debut for Ana in the near future…nothing like playing a Nun in a Lucha Libre spoof movie.

One thing-- just because one title's on Smackdown doesn't make it "B" (even if Smackdown is the "B" show), the WWE title IS the A title.

Posted By: M:-X

My argument is that the "A" title is the title on the "A" show. For me it's like voting someone the NBA MVP on a team that doesn't even make the playoffs.

It's funny, you still rag on Jeff Hardy and yet have no issue with Randy Orton apparently... To my knowledge Orton has been in more altercations than Jeff Hardy…

Posted By: Travis

Uh…last week's column was about brothers in wrestling, hence why Jeff Hardy got spotlighted and not Orton, but don't think that I don't think Randy-kins isn't as big of a head case as "Rainbow Brite". Then again, the thing Randy has going for him over Jeff is his ability to cut a somewhat decent promo in short spurts and his overall "look" that at least gives him a more credible appearance as a Champion. But not to split hairs, both guys have that faint smell of "douchebaggery".

Oh and Toddo…uh…come here buddy…I think you need a hug. A manly "bro hug" that is…handclasp and double back pat, no hip to hip contact dude….seriously. Save that gay stuff for Tim and Angry Bear. Ah, just kidding guys. Kinda.

6 Degrees Results

So next week I'm just linking up two naked pictures of hot chicks…maybe that's what I need to jump start this again.

Left Overs…

Midway is Midway out of business it seems, although they are promising that TNA Impact II is still in the works. Hopefully they work out the kinks this time and add a few more new features…like the code to give all your wrestlers Big Heads and "No Goaltending". "Consequences Creed is ON FIRE!!"

Trying to think of a better name for a stable of Kong/Khan/Bolt right now in the TNA Knockouts division. I'm partial to SWV…Sisters With Violence. Does that make you weak in the knees?

TNA is looking for a new top babyface woman to take Gail Kim's place. One candidate is "Dark Angel" Sarah Stock who currently has a deal with CMLL. I'm kind of hoping that happens and they bring in Lita for a match just so Stock can break her neck again. Oh wait…that doesn't sound right. Damn it, someone fire my fact checking intern.

Recently Mistico retained the CMLL Welterweight Title on December 8th, defeating Negro Casas. The crowd loved the match so much that they even threw money into the ring afterwards. Afterwards the wrestlers immediately threw small boxes of Chiclets back into the crowd. (Hello 5%-ers)

Okay, this is random…but how nimble and agile is our outgoing President? G-Dubya is like a damn ninja dodging those retard-seeking shoes thrown at him by that reporter. The way he ducked and juked his way out of the way of those shoes you would have SWORN he thought they were accountability and blame. I'm pretty sure he'd kick ass on "Assault" if "Gladiators" comes back next season.

"What's UP??" Your 15 minutes of "push", R-Truth, that's what's up. I guess the "e" finally figured out that his in-ring performance was pretty much limited to things he could do with two spinning twirls at the end. Yeah, that double spinning hammerlock sounded cooler in theory huh?

The Great Booty Debate 2008

In the spirit of the "Biggest Loser" being crowned this week, yes another reality show I watch that makes me feel like my own fat ass needs to get back into the gym for a good…7 hours like they make those poor tubbies do on the "ranch". I decided to pick a few "Hard bodies" for this week's competition.

Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



MC Barao: Damn, everyone thinks they're a rapper now.

Random Latina Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



Victoria Rodriguez: Yeah, I'm guessing that's the only Mexican woman in the country who cuts out carbs.

So the "e" is giving MVP the "losing streak gimmick" to see if he'll stick it out. Beause…MVP is secretly training in Brazilian Ju-Jitsu? Um…I can see how they felt betrayed after Brock and Lashley left after being built up so quickly early in their careers but MVP has won the US Title and a Tag Title…so…yeah, not quite the same. It's like worrying that Michelle McCool is going to leave for "Dancing with the Stars" after being handed the "Bratz" Title.

Mysterio hasn't signed a new contract with the "e" because they want him for 5 years and he only wants to commit for 3. He's of the mind that his opportunities in Mexico might be better after 2012 and the upside would be much greater South of the boarder. Which is odd because the current contract for Que Monito in CMLL also expires in 3 years. Hmmm….coincidence? I think not.

Tomko worked a "Dark match" prior to RAW this week and was reported to look "heavy". Seriously? Didn't the same thing happen to Chris Harris after he left TNA? I guess the path from Orlando to Stamford isn't paved with promises of fame and fortune. It's paved with Krispy Kreme and Carl's Jr.

Pimpin' In High Places

So have you sent in your application to be a 411 wrestling zone writer yet? What the hell are you waiting for? We promise to keep the "hazing" to a minimum last year, in fact Lansdell's bruises have pretty much healed already:

Ask 411

Fact or Fiction

Debut of "The Top 5", Wrestling Edition.

The R's

HH

CoH

Lansdell

D-Dubya

Wow, it's almost the Holidays, I am SWAMPED at work now, have all of my X-mas shopping done, and have a trip to China to plan for. Yet I still manage to squeeze out a column for you guys this week. No idea if it'll happen again next week, besides it's Christmas next Thursday and how many of you guys are going to have time to click on 411 amidst the present opening, turkey dinner, and breaking up a drunken fight between your uncle and your brother over who stole the last PBR out of the fridge? Oh wait…do they even have Christmas in Canada? Is there such thing as Canadian Baby Jesus? I'm guessing their wisemen brought Canadian Baby Jesus gold, frankincense, and a Maple Leaf's jersey. What the hell is that aboot?

Till then, the Truth will set you free.

-B