The Happy-Go-Sucky Wrestling Report 01.21.09

Posted by Steve Sullivan on 01.21.2009

Vince's return on Raw, Trish Stratus wrestling at Wrestlemania, C.M. Punk's history making night, and an RVD mention. Don't worry, it's just a mention.

So I often get questions as to what radio people do behind the scenes that normal people don't exactly know about. This week, our company held one of two rallys we will have this year where we all gather together and listen to commercials. Nearly 3 HOURS of them.

So the next time you're listening to the radio and you hear a 3 a minute commercial break, be thankful that you are a LISTENER!

Anyway, this week is short for that same reason. I've spent the last couple nights away from home and am just getting home a couple of hours before this news report is due. My schedule is getting tougher and tougher to come by but I'm not giving up. This is the most exciting time of year for wrestling fans like me and I want to continue on through the Road to Wrestlemania. So bear with me here.

Anyway, it's short. So let's rassle!

News: Vince McMahon returned to Monday Night Raw, only to be punted in the head by Randy Orton.

Happy: I have to tell you. I wasn't really sure what to think when they announced that Vinnie Mac was returning to Raw. At first I figured he was going to come on and take over the show again and make it all about him. And I had every right to believe that given that they were showing vignettes about how great he was and what he did for the company on the Raw prior to this week's. But the happy part about this storyline here is that it's not the old, typical Vince McMahon that's always harassing the faces. As much as that's been for the last 12 years, it's defiantly been played out.

But it was refreshing to see him in a role where he's not taking complete control. He's not out to screw anyone. He wasn't out to take the stoplight. At least that's the vibe I got. I actually expected to see Vince come back, boot Stephanie off the show and big himself God of Raw. But he didn't. He backed up Stephanie, which in a way, put her over as Raw's GM. He put Jericho in a position that was humiliating and entertaining.

In short, Vince was good.

But the coup de gras is that just as quickly as Vince put himself back on the show, he took himself back off of it with the Randy Orton punt. Now all of a sudden, Vince McMahon who has been somewhat of a lifetime heel, is now in a storyline that involves Randy Orton, who is also a (almost) lifetime heel. So this is highly interesting and entertaining.

Vince will go off the show again for awhile. Jericho will continue to hate Stephanie. And now Orton, who was on his way to getting fired, will have to answer to Stephanie next week. All this right before the Royal Rumble. So chances are, some shit will fly on Sunday too. This is a FANTASTIC way of starting the Road to Wrestlemania. Kudos.

Go Sucky: As great of an idea as this is, it's confusing as well. First off, what will come of Randy Orton? He's in the Royal Rumble. He was about to be fired. He kicked the Chairman. Will he still be allowed to compete? Remember, I'm asking all of this without watching ECW, which is currently waiting on my DVR. That's the only bad part about this storyline.

Not to detract from the Go Sucky, but if Orton IS allowed to compete, and is in the Rumble, many things could happen. He could win it. And now he can't be fired because he's the #1 contender at Wrestlemania. Or, better yet, Vince could show up on Sunday and toss him out of the ring, setting up a match between Randy Orton and Vince McMahon at Wrestlemania. Maybe it's time for Randy Orton kill the legend of Vince McMahon.

News: There is talk of Trish Stratus wrestling Michelle McCool at Wrestlemania 25.

Happy: This is needed BADLY! As much as I'd like to see Trish Stratus wrestle Beth Phoenix in a 1-on-1 match, she doesn't need it. She's already proven to be the best wrestler on the Raw roster and the greatest Women's champion since Trish.

But over on Smackdown, the WWE Divas title has yet to be taken serious. I, of course, can't watch Smackdown, but from every report I read, the more I realize that Michelle needs help. So at Wrestlemania, Trish could put over Michelle McCool and make her an actual, legitimate champion.

Plus, anytime Trish is on my TV, I'm happy.

Go Sucky: As great as it would be to see Trish wrestle at Wrestlemania, it's going to be an obvious outcome. Trish obviously isn't going to win the title. And if she does, then she will give it up for a tournament on Smackdown, which is probably needed anyway.

Something that obvious, doesn't need to take up time on Wrestlemania. Any other pay-per-view, but not Wrestlemania. This takes a paycheck away from one of the other Smackdown divas. And if Trish wins, then it takes away from her final championship reign in her hometown of Toronto.

Why on earth would you let someone keep winning titles when they are just going to retire afterwards? We love Trish but come on, you gotta build the future. Get the other girls involved and find a creative way to get Michelle and that ugly butterfly title over.

News: C.M. Punk became the fastest WWE Triple Crown Champion in history. He did it in 203 days, breaking Kevin Nash's record of 227 days.

Happy: That's incredible to think that record held up that long. That during the last 15 years, through the wrestling boom of the 90's, through the Attitude Era, through guys like Stone Cold, The Rock, and Kurt Angle, that the record would hold through to 2009 for C.M. Punk to break in front of his hometown.

The WWE continues in its stride to push C.M. Punk in the way that he should have been pushed in the first place. But to defend the WWE and C.M. Punk, this time last year, the WWE basically had to re-write the year when Jeff Hardy got his 2nd suspension. I truly believe that the push that C.M. Punk got this year, was supposed to be Jeff Hardy's. He was going to win the Money in the Bank match, he was going to win the title from Edge. And Punk was going to come over to Raw and start off the way he just finished 2008, at the top of the midcard.

But that wasn't the way it happened. The WWE needed to push someone fresh in the MITB match and Punk was just coming off a reign as ECW Champion. So he got the nod. He got the title, and he represented the company during the summer and kept things going.

Once things settled in on the Raw roster, Punk was quietly pushed out of the spotlight. He never technically lost the title, so he didn't lose that much momentum. Now he can finally pick up where he was supposed to be and slowly march his way back to the title scene.

Go Sucky: I don't feel like William Regal got a fair shake as the Intercontinental Champion. The champion before him (Santino Marella) did a lot of great work keeping the title on TV. Regal barely had the chance to defend it.

On top of that, I never understood why Punk was forced to achieve the Grand Slam backwards. Why did Punk "want" to win the World Tag Titles with Kofi Kingston, only to lose them a few weeks later, then never try to win them back.

Right now, the WWE is making C.M. Punk look like he has ADD. He can't make up his mind what he wants to do or what title he wants to win. It makes him an inconsistent character. I'm constantly forced to ask myself, "Well what title will C.M. Punk go after this month?"

It's great that he broke Nash's record and good for him to stay over in some way or form, but I think Punk could become a huge main eventer for Raw if they'd keep him in one division.

News: The known Royal Rumble participants are as follows:

HHH, The Big Show, Vladimir Kozlov, Shelton Benjamin, The Undertaker, Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio, The Miz, John Morrison, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, Kane, Santino Marella, R-Truth, Brian Kendrick, Carlito, CM Punk, Finlay, Mark Henry, Chris Jericho

The Royal Rumble is one of my favorite pay-per-views. I usually buy it when I can afford it, which unfortunately, won't happen for me this year. But I do like to think into it and figure out who will win. Last year, obviously I was wrong, but the last 3 Royal Rumbles, I've come up with the winner. So let's try it again this year shall we?

For this particular prediction, I'll give you a list of those who I think COULD win it (Happy) and those who don't have a chance (Go Sucky).

Happy

HHH
The Big Show
The Undertaker
Randy Orton
Chris Jericho
CM Punk

Go Sucky

Vladimir Kozlov
Shelton Benjamin
Kofi Kingston
Rey Mysterio
The Miz
John Morrisson
Cody Rhodes
Ted Dibiase
Santino Marella
R-Truth
Brian Kendrick
Carlito
Finlay
Mark Henry
Kane

First Two In:

Santino Marella
Kane

Final Four:

HHH
The Big Show
Randy Orton
Chris Jericho

Potential Surprise Entries:

Shawn Michaels
Christian
RVD (Let the comments commence!)

Winner: Shawn Michaels

Maybe you're thinking, "But you didn't even have him in the Final Four, what are you thinking?" I can't help but to believe that Shawn Michaels is going to be a surprise entry into the Rumble this year. I based that list on the list of known participants, but if we learned anything last year, anything and anyone can be in the Rumble.

I don't believe that JBL is going to beat John Cena at the Rumble. And when that happens, then JBL is going to put HBK into the Rumble, then demand that HBK hand over his #1 contender spot at Wrestlemania. Hence the current storylines with Cena and HBK right now. Eventually, I expect to see Cena vs. JBL vs. HBK at Wrestlemania 25 in a heated, emotional match. Should be pretty interesting.

If HBK doesn't make the surprise entry, then I would have to go with Randy Orton. Just because it would make the storyline with Vince McMahon that much more interesting.


Rapid Fire

News: TNA will be on TV in Germany.

How do you say "Fire Vince Russo" in German?

News: - TNA has released the latest update on Kevin Nash: "Kevin Nash is now back home with his family in Florida after leaving the hospital last Thursday. The TNA superstar is tentatively scheduled to be at the TNA "iMPACT!" tapings in Orlando this coming Monday, January 26/27. However, this could change depending on his condition. TNAwrestling.com will update fans on Nash later this week."

That's the most positive report I've seen about Big Sexy. Most of them are saying they don't know if or when he'll be back. The important part here is for Nash to get COMPLETELY healthy.

The WWE released Hardcore Holly.

How long before he shows up on Impact?

WWE The Music Volume 9 will be released next week.

Only 9? I could have swore there was like 5 last year alone. Just leave Randy Orton's crappy music off of it.

And with that, I bid you adieu. If I have to hear one more commercial for the Free Credit Report Guy, I will strangle a porcupine. Anyway, until next week my friends, may your lives be Happy…or Go Sucky!