Making the Grade 01.24.09: A Rumble Retrospective (PART V)

Posted by Damian Braun on 01.24.2009

Grading the Royal Rumble (2005-2008: The Contemporary Era) - The last installment of this Rumble Retrospective follows the match as newer (younger) talent rise to the top and WWE mainstays make dramatic returns to claim victory.

Making the Grade: Rating the Rumbles, pt. IV

As we enter the contemporary era of WWE, lets not let this cloud our review of the Rumble events. Just because an event is fresh in our memory, or we are more emotionally tied with the current rosters, that does not make the match automatically more exciting, notable, or important. So, for the last time, lets consider the Making the Grade Rating System concerning Royal Rumbles:

An "A" Rumble exceeds expectations given its participants. It is exceptional in both its caliber of work rate, the narrative transition participants, contains memorable. It should demonstrate a genuine valiant effort by each participant to win the match through eliminating their opponents.

A "B" Rumble match is better than average. This could be a well-wrestled match with good (not-great) storyline. Or, perhaps it has great moments or work rate that is brought down by more halfhearted performances. If it is an otherwise great Rumble that features moments of dullness, or it does not reach the pinnacle of what its participants are capable of – it will most likely fall into this grade.

A "C" Royal Rumble, sadly, is only average. It is nothing spectacular, forgettable, or full of bad work rate (or participants), mistakes, or general lackadaisical storytelling.

A "D" Rumble is below average, mostly boring, practically terrible, but saved by one or two points of merit.

A "F" match is the worst of the worst. It doesn't belong anywhere in entertainment, let alone in the wrestling ring. It is the type of exhibition that turns fans off the product.


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2005 Royal Rumble

Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit start with #1 and #2. The former Radicalz fight in the corner before they trade armdrags and give the fans a quick wrestling class. Daniel Puder arrives at #3, and cuts a heel promo before his entrance, bad mouthing both men in the ring. Well, nobody ever said he was smart. Benoit and Guerrero drop their tiff and commence to pummel Puder in the corner. They have a chop-of on the poor guys chest, then hit him with a double-suplex. Benoit hits Puder with a backdrop-suplex and Eddie hits the kid with a series rolling verticals. Hardcore Holly enters at #4 and tells Benoit and Guerrero to step off, because Holly wants a piece of the rookie. Another chop competition leads to Holly giving Puder an hard Alabama Slam. Hurricane is #5, but Puder get eliminated before he gets to the ring. Benoit and Guerrero then team up to toss Holly out of the match. Hurricane then gets his fair share of chops from the other two, but Eddie turns on Benoit. Those two fight each other, with Hurricane intervening to hit Eddie with the Blockbuster. Eddie gets revenge though, dumping Hurricane from the match. Kenzo Suzuki is #6, and he also takes a beating from Benoit and Guerrero. Benoit hits him with a snap-suplex, and Eddie hits a backdrop-suplex. Benoit tries to toss out Guerrero, but he lands on the apron. Edge is #7, and he tries to dump Eddie while he's in the precarious position. The four pair off as Rey Mysterio enters at #8. Mysterio attacks everyone, giving Edge a bulldog, Benoit a dropkick, and Kenzo a headscissors that sends him out of the match. Eddie stops the momentum though with a backbreaker to Mysterio. Shelton Benjamin is #9, immediately going after Edge and Eddie. Mysterio, who knows what its like to have one's momentum trumped, hits a headscissors on Benjamin. Booker T is #10, and Edge is the lucky recipient of a leg lariat.

Eric Bischoff makes his way ringside and begins to cheer on the RAW guys. Jericho is #11. He attacks Benjamin and gives Edge a few knife-edge chops. Teddy Long is out now supporting the Smackdown! crew. Luther Reigns enters at #12, evening the field between brands. In a smart moment, all the Smackdown! and RAW guys separate on opposites sides of the ring and stare off before running into each other. Muhammad Hassan enters to loud boos at #13. This draw proves especially unlucky as the brands forget their differences and unite to easily dump Hassan. Orlando Jordon joins the match at #14. Scotty 2 Hotty is #15, but Hassan attacks him on his way back to the locker room. Hotty never makes it to the match. Charlie Haas is #16 and he eats a kick to the face from Booker on his way into the ring. Reigns gets dumped by Booker, followed by Jordon. A Royal Spinarooni distracts Booker enough for Eddie to eliminate him. The World's Greatest Tag Team reunites briefly to beat on Guerrero. René Duprée is #17. He gets double teamed by WGTT with a leapfrog body guillotine, but Mysterio interrupts the fun with a leg lariat. Benjamin goes to the top rope, like an idiot, and Edge simply shoves him out of the match. Simon Dean is #18, and he makes sure to stretch before any vigorous activity. Edge gets ride of Eddie and mocks his shoulder shuffle, neither of which the crowd appreciate. Shawn Michaels is #19, entering at the same time as Dean. However, Michaels dumps him out moments after he enters. Haas tries to take down Michaels, but gets dumped for his efforts.

Kurt Angle is #20, taking Nunzio's spot, and he nails Benoit with a German suplex. Overhead suplex to Mysterio, another German to Jericho, and Angle Slams to Edge and Dupree. Angle tries to slam Michaels too, but HBK counters out and hits Angle with a superkick, sending him over the top. Coach is #21, but he cowers away from everyone. Then, like an idiot, he clubs Benoit from behind, which Benoit does not take to kindly. Jericho and Rey grapple near the ropes, but neither gets eliminated. Mark Jindrak jogs to the ring at #22 and attacks Dupree. Meanwhile, Angle returns to the ring and dumps Michaels over the top. I guess it's legal this year, as opposed to when it happened to Michaels in 1996. Angle then sends the steel steps into Michaels face and pounds on his fresh bladejob. Angle tries to snap Michaels ankle, but a bunch of suits lead him to the back. The pace in the ring slows down as Viscera enters at #23. Paul London is #24, getting a quick beat down by Dupree. Dupree decides to dance, but Jericho eliminates him after his routine. Did he not learn anything from the previous Rumble? Everyone fights by the ropes, with London and Jindrak teasing eliminations. John Cena is #25 and he attacks everyone. Viscera tries to slow him down, but he gets backdropped over the top. Snitsky is #26, and like Cena, he just runs around and pounds everyone. London tries a sleeperhold but Snitsky dumps him on the apron. London then runs into a clothesline which sends him into a somersault flip onto the floor. That was mighty impressive bump. Kane is #27, and he goes after Snitsky of course. Edge, Benoit, Cena, Jericho and Mysterio get chokeslammed. London gets taken out ona stretcher as Kane tosses Jindrak out. Coach, ever the idiot, tries to attack Kane from behind, but Snitsky makes the save. Batista is out next with #28. Batista sends Snitsky out and gives a Batista Bomb to Kane. Jericho tries to charge him, but gets tossed over the top instead. Christian is #29 and he goes after Cena, but he fights back. Mysterio hits Kane with a 619 and Cena picks him up in order to F-U him over the top.

#30 is Ric Flair. He and Batista team up to chop and spinebuster Coach. Flair easily eliminates him after that and Evolution shares a hi-five. Christian gets a spinebuster of his own from Batista before he gets sent out over the top via military press. Benoit starts chopping the life out of Flair, but Batista makes the save. Flair eliminates Benoit after that. Flair struts around and tries to eliminate Batista, but the big man barely moves. Flair begs off Batista before Mysterio and Edge double-dropkick him. Edge then spears Flair and tosses him out, giving us the final four of Edge, Mysterio, Batista and Cena. Edge spears Batista and Cena, but misses Mysterio, which leads to a 619. He tries to follow with a West Coast Pop, but Edge moves and tosses Mysterio to the apron, then spears him to the floor. Edge rushes Batista and Cena, but they both duck and backdrop him out of the ring. The two trade slugs before Cena tries the F-U, but Batista fights pushes off the ropes. Batista counters into a Batista Bomb, but tumbles backwards and both fall over the top and hit the floor simultaneously. The RAW refs call it for Cena while Smakdown! refs say its Cena. McMahon, living up to his promise in 1995 that there can only be one Rumble winner, storms to the ring and blows out his knee getting in. In a funny visual, the refs plead their case before McMahon as he sits on the canvas. Batista tosses Cena over the top, but he returns to the ring and tosses Batista. Finally Finkel interject that the match must be restarted. Twenty-eight guys are probably upset that they don't mean from the beginning. Cena tries another F-U, but Batista plants him with a spinebuster and tosses him to win the Rumble!

GRADE: B+, a pretty good event that features strong portions at the beginning, middle and end. Batista and Cena actually look like they first hit the ground at the same time, which helps the credibility. Angle and Michaels set themselves up for a feud that would lead to a killer WrestleMania match. The booking for the event was pretty tight, with the ring not getting over crowded at any particular moments. The Smackdown! vs. RAW portion was also inspired, as well as the group elimination of Hassan (xenophobia aside). It's a shame Coach lasted longer than Flair, Angle, Michaels, Christian and other actual wrestlers, and the winner was a bit predictable, but other than that, the Rumble was overall an above average venture.

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2006 Royal Rumble

Before Lillian Garcia can finish the Rumble rules, the Spirit Squad interrupts and grants the fans a courtesy Rumble cheer. Its pretty awful. HHH draws #1 and doesn't look too excited about it. Rey Mysterio is #2 and rides out in a low-rider in tribute to Eddie Guerrero. The Eddie chants start as soon as the bell rings. Rey uses his speed to take out HHH's and hits a cross body off the ropes. He follows that with a tilt-awhirl-headscissors and a ten-count punch on the second rope. HHH uses this opportunity to try and get rid of Rey, but he lands on the apron. This leads into a 619 setup, but HHH moves while Rey swings between the ropes. Simon Dean is #3 and he attacks Rey while HHH watches. He throws Rey over the top and gloats about eliminating Rey (who landed on the apron). HHH and Rey work together to get rid of Dean. A drop toe hold from Rey sends HHH's head into the second turn-buckle, which leads into a bronco-buster. Psicosis enters next and also goes after Rey before hitting HHH with a spin heel kick. Then, Psicosis uses Rey's body to attack HHH before dropping Rey on his face. Psicosis tries to eliminate Rey, but Rey reverses and uses a head scissors to propel Psicosis out. Woooo! Ric Flair is #5 and he pounds on HHH in the corner, gives him a few chops and a back bodydrop. More chops bring the Game to his knees. Flair tries another back bodydrop but gets kneed in the face. Then Flair gets thrown over the top by HHH with back bodydrop of his own. #6, the Big Show, is next. Show of course goes after HHH, a few chops in the corner knocks HHH down. Show then bodyslams HHH and drops a few elbows on him for good measure. #7, the Coach, runs to the ring. Stupidly, Coach hits Show from behind. The crowd tells Coach he sucks and Show easily pushes Coach back and over the top. Show then press slams HHH and gives him more chops in the corner. This is followed with a chokeslam to HHH. Lashley enters at #8 and goes eye-to-eye with Show. Lashley shoves Show, so Show drops him with a right hand punch. However, Lashley gives Show a backdrop and kicks him out of the ring, but not over the top. Kane is #9. He trades punches with Lashley, but is victim to the dominator. Sylvan comes out at #10 and tells Lashley that they should divide and conquer, Lashley turns his back and Sylvan attacks him. So Lashley naturally eliminates him. Kane and Show then give Lashley a double chokeslam when he turns around, then unceremoniously dump him out. The tag-champs then trade punches of their own. Show gives Kane a few headbutts but he runs face first into Kane's boot. Kane and Show then do their dueling choke spot as they teeter by the ropes, allowing HHH to sneak behind them and eliminate them both.

Carlito comes out next and lays stomps on both Rey and HHH. Rey then gets hit by Carlito with the backstabber before HHH pokes him the eye, sends him into the ropes and gets kicked in the face. Chris Benoit enters at #12 and gives chops to everybody. HHH walks into a german suplex. Benoit tries one on Carlito, but Carlito flips out, and instead walks into the crossface. Booker T is #13, and he and Benoit exchange a few blows before Benoit hiptosses Booker out of the match. A beefy Tatanka is #15 and everybody looks confused. The Florida crowd starts the Seminole Chant, which warms the cockles of my heart. Tatanka focuses on Mercury as Benoit lifts HHH over the top. Johnny Nitro is #16 and he runs into a Tatanka back bodydrop. Meanwhile Benoit nearly eliminates HHH. Mysterio teases a few close eliminations as the Eddie chant starts again. Trevor Murdoch enters at #17 and doesn't do too much. MnM beat on Benoit in the corner while HHH nearly eliminates Mysterio. Eugene is #18 and he tries to shake hands with Murdoch, instead he gets a few punches. Eugene returns the favor, then catches Murdoch in an airplane spin. Mysterio hits a double bulldog on both Murdoch and Eugene while they're dizzy. The ring begins to look a little crowded as Animal (of LOD fame) enters at #19. RVD makes his return at #20 and the crowd approves. He gives some sloppy kicks to nearly everyone in the ring. MnM doubleteam RVD, but they get hit with a double dropkick. RVD then eliminates Animal before Carlito calms him down a bit. #21 is Orlando Jordan.

Chavo Guerrero is #22, which starts more Eddie chants. Chavo gives Mercury a three amigos suplex, then goes to the top (presumably for a frogsplash) but HHH just pushes him off to the floor. Matt Hardy is #23 and he fights off both MnM. The ring seriously needs some purging. HHH teases another elimination, but doesn't hit the ground. Then, he does it again. Tatanka gets eliminated by some MnM teamwork. Super Crazy joins the match at #24 and hits both MnM with a flying crossbody. HBK is #25, and he punches everybody before Murdoch slows him down with a knee to the gut. Murdoch throws HBK into the corner, and Michaels botches the flip-up. Still, he finds his way to the apron and pulls down the rope as Murdoch rushes towards him, and over the top. Chris Masters is #26 and Viscera is #27, and neither add that much to the match. That is unless you count Viscera dryhumping Hardy. Hardy tries to get revenge, but gets tossed out by Vis. Benoit eliminates Eugene while Shelton Benjamin comes to the ring. Michael Cole notes that "the ring is full of superstars," which is part of the match's problem. Goldust enters at #29 as Mysterio nearly gets thrown out again. Randy Orton is #30 and he goes right after Benoit, eventually eliminating him. Carlito and Masters team up to eliminate Viscera before Carlito eliminates Mastesr himself. Goldust gives Carlito the golden globe punt before he gets knocked out with a weak spin heel kick from RVD. Orton throws out Orton. Mercury inadvertatnly eliminates Nitro, then goes over the top with HBK, except HBK skins the cat back into the ring. He then tosses Benjamin to the apron and sends him flying off with a Sweet-Chin Music. McMahon decides to walk to the ring, drawing HBK's attention. While he's distracted, Shane-o Mac runs behind him and tosses HBK out. RVD kicks Carlito out of the ring, which brings us down to the final four of RVD, Orton, Rey and HHH. Each finds a corner as RVD and Rey make a pact and attack Orton and HHH respectively. They then work together in attacking HHH and Orton individually. RVD goes to the top, but HHH crotches him on the rope, then he catapults Rey into RVD, which sends out Mr. Monday Night. Orton and HHH try to team up against Rey, but Rey dropkicks their legs and headscissors HHH, setting up a double 619 to both men, or a 1238 I guess. HHH brings down Rey with a hearty clothesline though. Orton then slams HHH and tries an RKO, which HHH avoids, instead catching Orton with a spinebuster. HHH then picks up Rey to eliminate him but Rey locks his legs, grabs the ropes and tumbles over to the apron, consequently pulling HHH to the floor. Rey and Orton square off, but HHH pulls Rey out under the ropes and throws him into the ring steps. Orton looks at the prone Mysterio as the crowd chants for Eddie again. Orton picks up Rey and tries to throw him over, but Rey pushes off the top rope and flings Orton over to the floor to win the Rumble!

GRADE: B-, while the match starts and ends strong, there is a long section towards the end when the ring is simply too crowded. There is nothing too abhorrent in the match, but too much monotony drags it down in the middle. While the story of Rey going the distance is nice in theory, the execution is less than spectacular. Rey spends a majority of the match crawling about the ring avoiding the action, which is a direct contrast to the other wrestlers who start and end the Rumble. Besides Rey, HHH , Carlito, Benoit, Nitro and Mercury make good showings, but don't do anything that spectacular. If you want to suspend disbelief (and as a wrestling fan, you know you do) you could say Rey beat the odds by outthinking everyone. If you want to be cynical (and as a 411 reader, you know you do), then this match was as much about Eddie Guerrero as it was Mysertio … and that's not good.

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2007 Royal Rumble

Ric Flair is #1, joining HBK and Bret Hart as the only men who have pulled #1 twice. Finlay joins him at #2, a pretty good adversary for the Nature Boy. They trade forarms and chops before Flair runs into a backdrop. Finlay carries Flair to the ropes, but a rake to the eyes saves him from elimination. More chops to Finlay as Kenny Dykstra comes out at #3. Naturally he goes after Flair while Finlay lies low. Dykstra eats some chops, and sells them like a trooper. Finlay tries to eliminate Dykstra, but he lands on the apron. Matt Hardy arrives at #4 and hits Kenny with a Side Effect and unsuccessfully tries to toss him out. Edge rushes to the ring at #5 and spears anyone in sight. Hardy moves out of the way though, sending Edge into a turnbuckle, then hits him with a Twist of Fate to put him down. Flair grabs a chair from ringside, presumably to hit Edge, but gets eliminated instead by Edge as Dykstra watches. As Dykstra hi-fives and struts around, Edge tosses him out as well. Tommy Dreamer is #6 and he catches Edge with a dropkick while hanging Edge in a Tree of Woe. Finlay intervenes and tries to eliminate Dreamer, but it dissolves quickly. Edge and Hardy fight in the opposite corner as Sabu arrives at #7. Before he enters the ring, he sets a table up at ringside. Sabu and Dreamer go at it before Sabu turns his attention against Hardy. Michael Cole notes that Sabu is "homicidal, genocidal and suicidal," a phrase I doubt we'll ever hear again from WWE. Gregory Helms, who has held the Crusierweight Title since the previous Rumble, enters and attacks Hardy, continuing their long feud. Finlay carries Sabu over to the ropes, but Sabu fights back once Finlay tries to dump him.

Shelton Benjamin is #9. He tries to throw Hardy onto the ringside table, but Hardy holds on. Finlay and Benjamin then roll over the top at the same spot, but both land on the apron. Benjamin and Hardy tease a suplex by the ropes, but it keeps getting reversed between the two. Kane is #10 and he attacks everyone. Helms eats a pumphandle slam and Edge gets chokeslammed. Kane tosses Dreamer and tries to toss Sabu. Sabu escapes and rushes Kane, but gets backdropped to the apron. Kane grabs him by the throat and chokeslams him through the table. I sort of wish someone landed on the table, but re-entered the match since neither foot hit the floor. CM Punk is #11, only to nearly get eliminated by Finlay. Punk escapes him and hits Edge with a running high knee. King Booker makes his regal entrance at #12. Booker easily eliminates Helms. Booker then tries to take out Punk as Kane nearly gets eliminated by Finlay and Hardy working together. Super Crazy is lucky #13, but he doesn't do anything that super or crazy. Kane and Booker pound him to the mat. Kane then slugs Edge, Punk and Benjamin. Booker and Edge teeter over the top, thanks to Kane and Finlay respectively, but neither goes anywhere. Jeff Hardy is #14. He immediately attacks Finlay, and Matt comes over to help. They hit him with a double-suplex and then double-team Edge and Super Crazy. Kane catches them both in a choke, but they fight back and hit him with a Poetry in Motion, which is just stupid for a Rumble. Sandman is #15, and he enters through the crowd. He canes a few people, but quickly is eliminated by Booker. The crowd does not approve. Hardy skins-the-cat after Finlay tosses him over. Randy Orton is #16. He teams with Edge to eliminate Crazy. They then focus on Matt, so Jeff tries to help his brother. They both get eliminated instead. Chris Benoit is #17 and everybody eats knife-edge chops. Booker and Finlay take German suplexes. RVD runs out at #18 and everybody gets kicked wildly. Kane seizes opportunity as Booker is dazed, and tosses him out. Booker is not pleased, so he re-enters the match and tosses Kane for good measure. They continue to fight on the outside. Viscera waddles to the ring at #19. He takes his wrath to Edge, but doesn't add much else..

Johnny Nitro is #20 and Kevin Thron is #21, but neither does much, as the match slows down drastically. There are a lot of near eliminations, with nobody going over. Notably, RVD tries to eliminate Viscera, but he's too damn big. Hardcore Holly is #22 and offers some kicks, punches, and extended choke holds. Nothing too exciting. Everyone tries to work together to get rid of Viscera. Shawn Michaels enters at #23, but instead of helping everyone else, he attacks Finlay, knocking him out of the match. Meanwhile Viscera fights off the masses, so Michaels hits him with a superkick, which sends him back into the ropes. This time everyone else, all eight of them, manage to tumble big Vis over the top. That makes it the most people who worked together to eliminate a Rumble participant, beating the record set in 1994 when it took seven to eliminate Viscera's alter-ego Mabel. Benjamin rushes Michaels, but gets tossed out instead. Chris Masters is #24 and he pounds on Benoit. Nitro pushes Masters out of the way to pound on Benoit himself, but gets eliminated by Benoit instead. Team RKO team up to pound Michaels, but can't dump him out. Chavo Guerrero is #25. Thorn dumps Benoit to the apron, but Benoit pulls Thorn after him and eliminates him. Everyone sort pairs up and struggles by the ropes as MVP arrives at #26. Benoit gives him a few chops him as RVD dropkicks Masters over the top. Holly is held over the top and Punk teases falling off the apron for a moment before fighting his way back in. Carlito is #27, and he goes after Team RKO and RVD. Michaels sails over the top, but wraps his foot around the bottom rope. RVD and Chavo try to pry him off, but Holly makes the save. For a Rumble veteran, Holly doesn't really get Rumble strategy. The Great Khali is #28. Everyone drops what they're doing to wait for Khali. Headbutts are dished out all around. Khali lays out everyone and eliminates Holly. Miz is #29, and he goes after Khali for some reason. Rightfully so, Khali quickly dumps him. RVD, Punk, Carlito, and Chavo soon follow. Michaels kindly reminds Khali to face the hard camera when he gives his screaming pose. Michael Cole asks "Who can stop the Great Khali?" as the #30 countdown begins, brining Undertaker to the match. Taker blasts Khali, slowly pushing him towards the ropes, giving him the chance to clothesline him out. Taker gives MVP the Old Skool and casually dumps him out.

The last four are Taker, Michaels, Edge, and Orton. Taker tosses Edge to the apron and turns around in time for Orton to blast him with a chiarshot. Edge looks to spear Orton, but Orton catches him. They mince words for a moment before Orton RKOs Michaels. Team RKO begrudgingly unite to pummel Taker, but he fights them off. Double clothesline to RKO. Taker grabs Orton for a chokeslam, but Edge spears Taker for the save. Edge then grabs the chair and puts Taker down again. Edge grabs another chair from ringside and set up the conchairto. Michaels, however, recovers just in time to sends Orton out with a bodydrop and eliminate Edge with a superkick. Somehow this knocks Michaels out too, and I realize that I hate when Michaels does that. Taker and Michaels do their sit up/kick up routine and stare at each other across the ring. Unless I'm mistaken, this is the first time they've really met in the ring since the 1998 Rumble. Michaels gets sent into the ropes, and Taker tries to knock him out with a high kick, but instead, misses him and tumbles to the apron. Michaels hits him with an elbow, but Taker holds on to the ropes. Michaels hits a neckbreaker, but Taker gets up first and catches Michaels with a big boot. Taker tries to suplex Michaels forward, over the ropes, but Michaels won't let go of him. Michaels then goes to the top rope while Taker punches him, then goes to the top himself to hit a superplex. Michaels fights back though and hits Taker with a flying elbowdrop. A superkick attempt is caught by Taker. Taker chokeslams him instead. Taker tries the Tombstone, but Michaels wrangles out and finally hits the Sweet Chin Music, which also knocks Michaels out again. Michaels tries to hit the superkick once more, but Taker catches him and dumps him to the floor. Taker wins the Rumble!

GRADE: B-, a pretty lackluster Rumble that trudges along until the great finish redeems it some. While it would have been great if Edge or Orton won (instead of the old guard), the ending sequence is nice. This was the longest that the two finalists fought each other for that last elimination, and it is a reminder of how the Rumble brings together wrestlers who seldom meet. Unfortunately the rest of the Rumble is pretty uninspired, with the only notable moments being Kane and Booker's feud starting eliminations and Khali eliminating seven people in a row (tying Diesel's record).

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2008 Royal Rumble

Michael Buffer announces the Rumble, but I personally would have preferred to see Howard Finkel do it. The two men who closed out the previous year's Rumble, Undertaker and Shawn Michaels draw #1 and #2 respectively. It's a nice touch of Rumble continuity, especially since they hadn't met in the ring otherwise in the year. Michaels hits Taker with a few chops in the corner, but Taker lariats him across the ring, allowing Michaels to flip up against the turnbuckle. Taker grabs Michaels by the throat and holds him aloft, but can't dump him. Taker then sends Michaels into the corner and misses a charge, getting his leg hooked over the top rope in the process. Michaels tries to capitalize, but gets caught with a choke and a big boot. Santino is #3 and he stares down the two main-eventers. Michaels simply superkicks him and tells Taker to dump him over, which Taker kindly does. Taker goes Old Skool, but Michaels pulls him off the top, rather than pushing, which would have been smarter. Michaels hits an inverted atomic drop and a flying forearm as the Great Khali comes out at #4. Before Khali hits the ring, Taker nails Michaels with a chokeslam. Khali chops and stomps Taker while the fans remind the world that "[Khali] can't wrestle." Taker and Khali give each other dueling choke holds, but Khali misses an overhead chop and Taker dumps him over the top. Hardcore Holly enters at #5 as Michaels and Taker flip to the apron. However Taker is up soon and hits Holly with a running clothesline into the corner and a big boot. Michaels tries to surprise Taker from behind, but Taker simply catches him, and they fight by the ropes. John Morrison is #6, and he wisely decides to attack Michaels rather than Taker. Michaels tosses Morrison, but he slides back into the ring. So Michaels hits him with an elbowdrop from the top and a superkick. Morrison however catches Michaels' leg and gives him a superkick of his own. Tommy Dreamer is #7, and he hairs off with Taker, and does surprisingly well. Michaels comes by to help and ends up stomping Taker to the canvas. #8 is Batista, and he gives a spinebuster to Dreamer, a clothesline to Holly and Michaels and a backdrop to Morrison. Taker and Batista stare-off, but Dreamer attacks Batista before they go at it. So, Batistia eliminates Dreamer, garnering boos from the crowd. Batista spears Morrison, but Taker catches him in the corner and chokes him with his boot. Hornswoggle is #9, but he never makes it into the ring, rather he chooses to crawl under it. Lawler reminds us that "[he] did that once, it works!" Except not enough to win him the match. Holy knocks Shawn to the apron, but Michaels hangs on.

Chuck Palumbo is #10, and he goes right after Batista, then gives a punch to Michaels and a chop to Holly. Michaels comes back for more, so Palumbo gives him an uppercut that sends Michaels high into the air. The wrestlers all pair off, with Morrison and Michaels tangled up and hanging over the top rope. Jaime Noble is #11, and a faint chant breaks out for him. However, Palumbo eliminates him pretty quickly, not offering much pay off to their Smackdown! feud. #12 is CM Punk, and he high knees Palumbo, Michaels, Morrison, then Michaels again. Punk then tries to bulldog Michaels, but Taker clothelines him mid-run. Palumbo gets thrown to the apron, and Punks running high knee knocks him to the floor. Cody Rhodes runs out at #13. He looks especially scrawny in the ring full of wrestlers. He tries to punch Taker, which is as wise as Dusty punching King Kong. Taker catches Rhodes in a choke, but Rhodes fights out and takes down Taker with a dropkick. Meanwhile, Michaels gets backdropped by Batista after going for a piledriver. Umaga strolls into the ring and attacks everyone. Holly gives him a few chops in the corner, but Umaga sends him out of the match with a Samoan Spike. Umaga gives Batista a running butt smash while Rhodes nearly eliminates Michaels. Snitsky is #15, and he attacks everyone also. Rhodes catches Snitsky from behind and they both nearly tumble over the top, but they sadly don't. Unfortunate too as the ring is getting crowded. The Miz is #16, and he doesn't add too much excitement. Miz and Morrison team against Punk , but neither can eliminate him. Taker and Umaga hook up, with Taker trying to toss him out, but Umaga latches on to the ropes. Miz and Morrison are climbing the same corner from each side of the ring post as Shelton Benjamin comes out at #17. Benjamin runs to that corner, jumps to the top rope, catches both their heads and drops them against the turnbuckle, sending each reeling back, but eliminating neither. It's a nice visual, but it doesn't really lead anywhere. Benjamin then hits Punk with jumping-falling face smash, or something like that, but Michaels superkicks him out of the ring just as the energy picks up. That also makes it the third year in a row that Michaels eliminated Benjamin from the Rumble. Superfly Jimmy Snuka is #18. Though he may look like the walking-dead and 150 pounds, the youngens all sell for him, including Michaels and the Undertaker. If that wasn't enough, Roddy Piper enters at #19 and he should have left his t-shirt on. Snuka and Piper stare off, and then square off. Everybody else sort of just stops and watches. Kane is #20 and mercifully dumps Piper and Snuka at once. Even without the geriatrics, the ring looks really crowded and there is a lot standing around. Taker acts like hes going to chokeslam Kane, but grabs Michaels instead, but instead of slamming him, he just picks him up and drops him again.

Carlito is #21. He hits the standard flurry to everyone in the ring before Morrison and Punk catch him and carry him to the ropes. But Carlito kicks off the top rope and flips back into the ring's center. Punk decides to kick Morrison in the head and Carlito sneaks behind Punk and plants him with a backstabber. Rhodes hits a bulldog from one second generation star to another, Carlito that is. Mick Foley enters at #22, but isn't up to the standard he was at the last MSG Rumble he competed at. Morrison hits Foley with a kick from the top rope, and Foley just rolls around the canvas for a while. Ken Kennedy is #23, and he slides into the ring and stomps Rhodes before giving him a running kick to the face. Both Punk and Miz each eat a Mic Check. A lot of wrestlers are just lying around the on the ground as Taker gets a second wind, chokeslamming Kennedy and avalanching Umaga and Snitsky. Snitsky then gets eliminated by Taker, Michaels then superkicks Taker from the ring, and Kennedy tosses Michaels from behind. Meanwhile Big Daddy V enters at #24, so the ring mass tradeoff is comparable. Rhodes and Kennedy fight on the apron after Rhodes pulled Kennedy over the top with his feet. Mark Henry joins the match at #25. Hornswoggle reminds us that he's there by crawling out and pulling Miz, who had been pushed over the top rope, out of the match. Chavo Guerrero is #26 as Morrison gets booted out by Kane. Hornswoggle appears again to pull Rhodes out, but Henry grabs him and lifts him into the match. Henry and V tower over Hornswoggle, but Finlay runs out and slugs them both with a shillelagh. He then escorts Hornswoggle to the back. Ross notes that Finlay had been disqualified from the match (he would have been #27). That's the first time anyone has been DQed in a Rumble, which had previously been noted for being no-DQ. Elijah Burke is #28, and he enters as Chavo knocks Punk out of the match. Umaga gives Batista a Samoan Spike (reminding everyone they're still in the match), which causes Batista to roll out under the ropes. HHH is #29, and he gets rid of some of the ring freight, including Rhodes and Daddy V. Foley and HHH briefly recreate their MSG rivalry before Foley gets thrown into Burke, sending them both over the top rope. #30 is John Cena, making an early return from his pectoral injury. Allow me a moment: as surprise entrants go, Cena's return was mildly shocking. Earth shatteringly shocking? No. Here's why. HHH, the biggest name in the match enters at #29, meaning that something was bound to surpass him at #30. Plus, Cena was expected to return full time in a month or two, so working a few minutes in a Rumble match was probably not going to upset his rehab too much. Had Cena been #15, or #2, that would have been surprising, but his entrance at #30 comes off a bit contrived, in a how convenient sort of way. It's sort of equivalent to Snuka or Piper, just that Cena was a real contender (amongst a small field) for the win. If the Big Show returned a month early, or Floyd Mayweather came out at #30, I would have been more shocked. But after HHH began to clear the ring of all the riffraff, the bombshell factor of a HUGE #30 entrant became a bit apparent.

Anyways, Cena eliminates Carlito, Chavo and Henry in quick succession. Cena and HHH do a second stare down for the night before they begin to slug it out. Cena eats a spinebuster but Umaga emerges to attack HHH. Batista returns to the ring just in time to spear Umaga and save HHH from a Samoan Spike. Batista then eliminates Kennedy and Umaga like they are nothing. Kane, HHH, Batista and Cena make up the final four, which lasts merely a second as HHH and Batista team up and dump Kane. The final three give each of their signature hand gestures to the other two. Batista hits both Cena and HHH with a double clothesline, then he nails them both with spinebusters. Batista tries to Batista Bomb Cena, but Cena reverses it and HHH clotheslines Batista to the floor. Cena and HHH stalk around the ring and stall by pointing to the WrestleMania. Cena and HHH trade pounches, and the fans are all over Cena. HHH can't see the 5-Knuckle Shuffle. Cena tries and F-U, which is reversed into a Pedigree, which Cena wrangles himself out of. They hit a double-clothesline knockout spot. HHH is up first and tries to clothesline Cena out, but eats a boot instead. Cena tries the F-U again, but HHH counters it into a DDT. They fight by the ropes some more, again trading finisher attempts, before Cena catches HHH with a F-U over the top rope, winning Cena the match!

GRADE: C+, this Rumble gets remembered for Cena's surprise return, but that shouldn't cloud the fact that a majority of the Rumble is just plain boring. The first four –fifths of the match are not very entertaining, featuring too much milling around, wrestlers lying canvas, and the ring too crowded to see much, if any action. While Michaels and Taker hold their own at the beginning, even they can't recoup from the wash of mid-level talent that flooded the ring after them. None of the wrestlers really contribute that much to the event, instead they each sort of repeat the same "rush in, attack everybody, maybe eliminate somebody" routine before they appear blown up by the time the next entrant comes. HHH and Cena pick things up towards the end, but even their sequence together is more entertaining in its theory than execution. Consequently, the Rumble rates just barely above average.

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It's been a long, and sometimes tedious, journey through Rumble history, and the WWE is ready to add another event to the legacy. Over the history of the event, the Royal Rumble has given the federation some it's most memorable moments, while serving as a catalyst to elevate talent, surprise fans, and chance to bring together superstars who may never meet in the ring otherwise. While reviewing the history, it does get a bit annoying that the rules aren't as consistent as they should be (especially concerning self-eliminations, eliminations by non-legal participants, and disqualifications), but this is because the Rumble reflects whatever storylines the fed wants to push. It is a barometer of the organization for that given year, reflecting the talent pool and general booking practices. I believe it is this reason the Rumble is favored by so many, for no matter how much WWF/E has changed over the years, the Royal Rumble has remained generally the same – superstars trying to prove their significance under the constraints of luck, endurance, and individual survival. No matter how much the organization changes in the future, it is this that will always remain a Rumble constant.