The Wrestling Doctor 02.03.09: A Bunch of Stuff and Some Battle Bowl

Posted by W.S. Thomason on 02.03.2009

The Wrestling Doctor deals with The Wrestler’s Oscar hopes, dreams of a Blago-rich Wrestlemania, and reloads a couple of Battle Bowls.

THE WRESTLING DOCTOR

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RANDOM THOUGHTS

• As a resident of Illinois, I could not be happier with this news item.

• Congrats to the WCW community for taking The Essential Starrcade DVD to the top of the Billboard charts. Such a showing should convince the WWE to put out more WCW collections, particularly in a time when revenue is decreasing in other areas. The WCW audience is loyal, and it is a gold mine that the WWE would be wise to tap.

• The current angle with Randy Orton and the McMahons will certainly end with Stephanie turning on Shane and joining up with The Legacy.

• I enjoyed all of the old photographs of Lex Luger from the Pro Wrestling Illustrated family of publications that were doctored for the opening montage of The Wrestler. It worked. Check out The Wrestling Bard's excellent breakdown of the film.

• Speaking of The Wrestler, it was one of the best films I have seen this decade, and Mickey Rourke deserves all of the praise that has been heaped upon him. Rourke's decision not to participate in Wrestlemania is a smart one from a career perspective. Wrestling Jericho would kill his acting come back before it gets going, and he certainly is no stranger to derailing his own fortunes. I do not think that he has a chance of winning an Oscar for The Wrestler, even though he deserves it, because the recent Academy heavily favors films that address trendy social concerns or reflect gross injustices. Even though The Wrestler is a character study that happens to be set within the world of professional wrestling, the stigma that wrestling is nothing more than crass, lowbrow entertainment for unsophisticated rednecks is bound to be an unspoken factor in the voting. My guess is that the stigma also accounts for the snubbing the movie received in other categories, such as Best Picture. Maybe Rourke's withdrawal from competing will upset the grand Wrestlemania plan and force the WWE to build a card around their talent instead of a celebrity. After all, the WWE does not need to be shelling out piles of cash to get an actor in for one show during a period of employee independent contractor cuts and fiscal caution. Then again, I would much rather see Rourke wrestle Jericho than Floyd Mayweather face anyone or have Donald Trump within a hundred feet of the building. My call is that Jericho will end up facing Steve Austin if Stone Cold opts to wrestle; if not, then Y2J will go against Rey Mysterio.

• Of course, Rod Blagojevich could certainly use a payday to help cover his legal bills. He certainly is not media shy. Maybe the WWE could one-up TNA and bring in Blago for an appearance, possibly as a corrupt special referee. Since the WWE is running short on originality, they could construct a situation where that full, lush helmet of hair gets shaved. Refereeing the proposed Austin-Jericho match would be perfect – he at least could take a couple of Stunners. Too bad Wrestlemania is not in Chicago.

THIS WEEK'S PATIENT: RELOAD: BATTLE BOWL EDITION

Two weeks ago I continued the reload series by rebooking the first Battle Bowl / Lethal Lottery event that comprised the Starrcade 91 card. The idea was inspired by a remark Jim Ross makes on the Essential Starrcade DVD documentary in regards to WCW's failure to fully develop the Battle Bowl concept.

This week, I want to look at two other shows that hosted disappointing Battle Bowls – the 1993 stand-alone Battle Bowl PPV and Slamboree 96. I am holding off on Starrcade 92 because – while not perfect – WCW did a respectable job incorporating the Battle Bowl concept into that show.

As a refresher, my main criteria for a reload are that:
• The show was considerably disappointing if not outright horrendous.
• Changing the show, even significantly, would not radically alter wresting history. (For example, I would not rebook Survivor Series 1997 because of the Montreal Screwjob, but I would work over Super Brawl 93.) A truly mediocre show does not have any major long-term impact.
• The show has to re-booked within the context of its time. For example, Wrestlemania IX could not be re-loaded with an Attitude Era feel.

A major criticism of the Battle Bowl re-loads is that the paring of recent rivals and the pitting of partners against each other is predictable. However, remember the context of these cards. The expectation of the audience going into the shows is that they would see those unlikely tag teams and match-ups. The fan base in the early and even mid nineties and was happier to suspend disbelief in order to enjoy a show than the more jaundiced audience of the Attitude Era and beyond.

The rules of the Lethal Lottery are simple: 15-minute time-limit tag team matches are created by random draw, and the winning teams advance to Battle Bowl. The first Battle Bowl was a two-ring battle royal, but that was trimmed down to one ring for future offerings. Two weeks ago readers got to decide what Battle Bowl should have been to distinguish it from every other PPV battle royal, and the winner is…

…Battle Bowl in a gauntlet match format, with the randomly paired teams from the Lethal Lottery entering together. The battle royal will be every-man-for-himself, but the entry will be by the teams generated by the Lethal Lottery. Two teams begin the battle royal, and another team enters after one of the current participants is eliminated over the top rope. So four guys start off, and another team is called down once three guys remain. The battle royal grows from there. The entry into Battle Bowl is, of course, random, and the teams created in the Lethal Lottery take on an additional importance. This approach to Battle Bowl will be used on all future re-loads employing the concept – which is right now, actually.

PATIENT #1: BATTLE BOWL 1993 (11.20.93)
The 1993 stand-alone Battle Bowl PPV appeared to serve no purpose in hindsight, but it really was the victim of circumstance and poor decision making more than anything else. The card occurred after the Sid Vicious-Arn Anderson stabbing incident in the UK which threw all of WCW's booking plans into a state of chaos. It can be assumed that Vicious was likely to win the 1993 Battle Bowl as a means of further building him up for a WCW Title win over Vader at Starrcade 93. Vicious cut himself out of those plans, so WCW went back to their old stand-by, Ric Flair, who gave one of the most memorable performances of his career in taking the WCW belt off of the Mastodon.

Battle Bowl 93 was lost in the booking shuffle. Vader ended up winning the entire event. The common view is that this win was rather pointless, considering he was champion at the time. However, the win – and Vader's brutal assault on Flair en route to it – furthered the idea that Flair could not defeat the champion. Flair had pinned Vader at the Clash of the Champions XXV before the decision was ruled a disqualification, so Vader needed a dominant performance to further the idea that Flair stood no chance at Starrcade.

Several matches on the original Battle Bowl show began or furthered existing feuds, but too many pairings appeared to be truly random even though they were intentionally made. The results of the original show can be found on a variety sites as well as in past reviews right here on 411mania. The consensus has always been that Battle Bowl 93 was not a very good show.

The re-loaded Lethal Lottery matches for Battle Bowl 93 appear below. I am cutting the filed down from 32 to 28 in order to trim a little of the fat that appeared on the original show. Instead, a brief synopsis follows.

Brian Pillman & Steve Austin over Too Cold Scorpio & Chris Benoit (14:26)
I am bending my own rule in a way by reuniting The Hollywood Blondes so soon after their break-up, as that move probably would not have been done at the time. However, this is probably the last opportunity to do so considering how things played out later. Give the fans what they want, and what they wanted was the Blondes. Benoit was still with WCW at the time, but just not used very much. He and Scorpio had their own rivalry, so this bout would rival that Flair/Rude vs. Steamboat/Regal for match of the night honors.

Vader & Cactus Jack over Kane & The Equalizer (5:34)
This match is a means of getting two top guys into the finale. It does not hurt that they just concluded a blood feud. Kane is Stevie Ray.

Paul Orndorff & Brian Knobbs over Paul Roma & Marcus Bagwell (12:11)
Roma turns on Bagwell here instead of on Erik Watts on WCW Saturday Night. The turn solidifies his new pairing with Orndorff and gives reason to Orndorff/Roma vs. Bagwell/Scorpio at Starrcade 93.

Ric Flair & Rick Rude over Ricky Steamboat & Lord Steven Regal (14:31)
On the original Battle Bowl show Steamboat nailed Regal with Sir William's umbrella to set up their Starrcade 93 match; unfortunately, this development was wasted on Orndorff & Shockmaster. The match-up given here pairs former rivals together and revives Flair-Steamboat as a teaser for the spring, revisits Rude-Steamboat, and gives us both Flair and Rude against Regal in a rare moment. This bout would be on par with the Hollywood Blondes vs. Scorpio & Benoit for match of the night honors.

Dustin Rhodes & Shanghai Pierce over Kole & Tex Slazenger (5:55)
This serves as a palate cleanser after the previous bout, gets the reigning US Champ to Battle Bowl, and pits partners Pierce and Slazenger against each other. Not bad for six minutes. Kole is Booker T. Pierce and Slazenger would go on to be Henry and Phineas Godwinn in the WWF, respectively.

Davey Boy Smith & Road Warrior Hawk over Ron Simmons & Ice Train (11:14)
Simmons turns on Ice Train during their match. The turn had been teased for weeks, but was originally delivered low-profile on WCW TV.

Sting & Jerry Sags over Maxx Payne & Johnny B. Badd (13:36)
Sting and one half of the WCW Tag Team Champions needs to get to Battle Bowl. Payne and Badd had feuded in 93. It works.

I dropped The Shockmaster, Charlie Norris, Awesome King, King Kong, Erik Watts, Rip Rogers and Keith Cole from the original line-up. November 1993 was past time to bury The Shockmaster. Let it go, WCW, just let it go.

The Battle Bowl participants are: Steve Austin, Cactus Jack, Ric Flair, Brian Knobbs, Paul Orndorff, Shanghai Pierce, Brian Pillman, Dustin Rhodes, Road Warrior Hawk, Rick Rude, Jerry Sags, Davey Boy Smith, Sting, and Vader.

The order of Battle Bowl (eliminations sparking new entrants are in parentheses): Rhodes & Pierce and Orndorff & Knobbs (Pierce); Sting & Jerry Sags (Orndorff); Flair & Rude (Sags & Knobbs by each other); Austin & Pillman (Rhodes); Vader & Cactus (Cactus); Smith & Hawk. Eliminations after all teams enter are Pillman, Smith, Hawk, Austin, Sting, Rude, and Flair. Vader wins Battle Bowl (25:33), seemingly injuring Flair and casting more doubt over the Nature Boy's ability to win the title at Starrcade.


PATIENT #2: SLAMBOREE 1996 (05.19.96)
The 1996 edition of Battle Bowl was so convoluted that it is difficult to believe that Vince Russo was not involved. This event makes the Deuces Wild tournament look as straight forward as a Bob Backlund WWF title defense.

In 1996 WCW tweaked the Lethal Lottery format from one set of randomly determined tag team matches into a two round tournament. The tournament format for the Lethal Lottery was not announced before the show so everyone tuning in assumed that each team would wrestle once and then compete in a 16-man finale. The show had eleven tournament matches in addition to the battle royal as well as three title matches. The PPV was far too crowded for three hours, and none of the matches received adequate time.

WCW also dropped The Lethal Lottery name, instead just referring to the event as Battle Bowl, with the winner being dubbed The Lord of the Ring. I will call the random selection process "the lottery" just to make things easy.

The original final battle royal was composed of Diamond Dallas Page, Scott Norton, Ice Train, Dick Slater, Bobby Eaton, Big Bubba (even though he was on a losing team), and Public Enemy. Keep in mind that DDP was not considered a star in May 1996, and Eaton and Slater were way past their prime. Not exactly a stellar, PPV-quality event. It was especially disappointing to fans who had paid hoping to see a finale involving other lottery participants such as Ric Flair, Randy Savage, Lex Luger, Arn Anderson, The Road Warriors, The Steiners, and Harlem Heat. DDP won Battle Bowl in a move that jump-started his 1996 push, but he could have done so over better competition.

Another problem with the show was that it was announced in the weeks leading to the event that the Battle Bowl winner would receive the WCW Title match at the following month's Great American Bash. No one was going to pay to see a 1996 DDP face The Giant, so Page was bumped for "cheating" and the shot went to Lex Luger. The result was that WCW looked like they could not plan long-term. Turns out that perception was true, but we will drop the title shot stipulation as part of the reload in favor of giving DDP his first big boost.

WCW announced all of the random parings in advance, even having several of the teams compete on episodes of Nitro. The result was that there were no surprises. However, the biggest disappointment of the 1996 Battle Bowl was that no Lethal Lottery was ever graced with a deeper field of talent. WCW threw the entire concept away on pre-announced pairings and anti-climatic results.

First, the main event. I would reload the original Giant-Sting match as a triple threat with The Giant defending the WCW Title against Sting and Lex Luger. The addition of Luger would add more intrigue to the match. Tension had been seriously teased between Sting and Luger since The Package returned to WCW on the first Nitro. The angle appeared to be ending at Starrcade 95 in a triple threat with Ric Flair, but it was extended when Sting and Luger won the WCW Tag Team Titles from Harlem Heat a month later. Luger was a heel and Sting a face, but the Stinger was trying to get his friend away from the influence of Jimmy Hart and the Dungeon of Doom. Luger dumped Hart and company after Uncensored, but still occasionally miscued to cost Sting big matches, such as previous efforts against The Giant. That is exactly what happened at the original Slamboree 96, and how this triple threat match would end (16:41). In addition to adding intrigue to the card, the questionable finish would continue the fan's suspicion of Luger going towards the mystery partner angle at Bash at the Beach – especially since the Hulk Hogan turn was not definitely booked at the time of Slamboree. The Giant could face Luger again at the Bash in an angle that looked as if Lex had pushed Sting out of a rematch.

I would change the Dean Malenko Cruiserweight Title defense against Brad Armstrong to Malenko's title win over Shinjiro Ohtani (14:29) that was taped on May 2 for World Wide. Why waste the initial North American Cruiserweight title switch on a syndicated show in the cable and PPV era? I am cutting Konnan's US Title defense against Jushin Liger in order to put Konnan into Battle Bowl, saving the Liger bout for the GAB.

Now to Battle Bowl. Again, the card may seem predictable but the partner vs. partner angles and rival pairings are what the fans at the time wanted to see. Giving the audience what they want is just good business. WCW consistently fell short in that critical area throughout their entire run.

Animal & Rick Steiner over Hawk & Meng (10:15)
The Steiners faced off in the Starrcade 91 reload I did a few weeks ago, so it would not make sense to repeat that moment. Instead, we get the long-awaited Animal-Hawk showdown. The original Slamboree 96 gave us that LOD match up, but marred it in a double-countout.

Harlem Heat over Kevin Sullivan & Chris Benoit (7:54)
I am replacing Public Enemy with Harlem Heat in the match that sets up the Sullivan-Benoit rivalry. The Taskmaster helped PE put Benoit through a table in the original event, but such a move does not fit the Heat's style at the time. Sullivan will do it for them, and within a month The Taskmaster and The Wolverine are battling it out in a Baltimore Arena men's room. I am not using PE at this event because WCW had done little with them in the months prior, and they did not make any further impact until surprisingly winning the tag belts in September.

Ric Flair & Randy Savage over Arn Anderson & Eddie Guerrero (13:04)
The hottest angle in WCW at this time was the feud between Flair and Savage. The story of this match is that Anderson tries to keep a raging Macho Man away from Flair. There is not teamwork between Flair and Savage – that would not make any sense in the context of their rivalry – so AA has to fulfill his role as The Enforcer. Flair and Guerrero carry the technical part of the match, while Savage periodically gets his hands on The Nature Boy, but not in a way that is truly satisfying. The match ends with Anderson DDTing Eddie, and Flair picks up the win. Savage chases Flair to the back, and the fans are wondering what will go down in the battle royal finale. The match builds up Flair-Savage even further, allows Anderson to perform his self-sacrificial role in The Horsemen, and creates anticipation for the finale. Great storytelling. I am retaining this match from the original show, but adding a lot to it.

Scott Norton & Ice Train over The Barbarian & Dick Slater (5:54)
I never said that every match was going to be sweet. Fire & Ice were building a nice little feud with the Steiners on Nitro at the time. Slater & Barbarian were the last US Tag Team Champions back in 1992, so their pairing would be a little inside nod to the half dozen or so people who care. This match serves as a nice palate cleanser after Flair-Savage.

Diamond Dallas Page & Steven Regal over Hacksaw Jim Duggan & V.K. Wallstreet (10:53)
Regal's chief rival at the time, Fit Finlay, was out. Duggan and Wallstreet were feuding. Regal was about to get a small push towards a match with Sting at the GAB. DDP had to get into the battle royal. Plus, I just want to see Regal wrestle Rotundo, even if the latter is past his prime.

Scott Steiner & Konnan over Hugh Morrus & Big Bubba Rogers (12:03)
I cut Konnan from a singles match because he had difficulty learning to work with non-luchadores during his US Title reign. Morrus could work, and Bubba was still decent as a big man at this point. Scott Steiner helps to keep things interesting.

I cut from the original show Bobby Eaton, David Taylor, Alex Wright, The Disco Inferno, The Booty Man, Sgt. Craig Pittman, and Public Enemy.

The Battle Bowl participants are: Animal, Booker T, Diamond Dallas Page, Ric Flair, Ice Train, Konnan, Scott Norton, Steven Regal, Randy Savage, Rick Steiner, Scott Steiner, and Stevie Ray.

The order of Battle Bowl (eliminations sparking new entrants are in parentheses): Fire & Ice and Animal & Rick Steiner (Train); Scott Steiner & Konnan (Norton); Flair & Savage (Flair & Savage by each other); Page & Regal (R. Steiner); Harlem Heat (Konnan). Eliminations after all teams enter are Stevie Ray, Regal, Animal, Booker T., and Scott Steiner. DDP wins Battle Bowl (15:33) and begins his steady climb to the top.

I'm out. Now get off of your duffs and go see The Wrestler.