Truth B Told 2.05.09: Time-Out!!

Posted by Bayani Domingo on 02.05.2009

We were on a BREAK!! Sometimes it takes a little time and perspective for a wrestler to come back better than ever. Or at least just come back. Unless Heidenreich is reading this, in which case....don't. Don't ever.

Show of hands, how many of you were expecting Christian to pop out at the Royal Rumble to cost Jeff Hardy the WWE Title. Yeah, thought so. In fact people have been getting a little anxious waiting for Christian, aka, Captain Charisma, aka, The Instant Classic, aka CLB to finally show up on RAW or Smackdown. God help him if he ends up on ECW. The IWC has been holding their collective breaths for Christian to finally show himself and there are even those holding out hope that he will somehow resurface on TNA TV alongside Christopher Daniels, Samoa Joe, and Frankie Kazarian. Well, don't hold it too long, you don't want to lose too many brains cells, especially since watching Impact lately has been killing enough on it's own. For Christian perhaps his little break from wrestling is proving that absence truly does make the heart grow fonder. Unless you're in a long distance relationship in college…then it actually makes it go yonder.

It's amazing just how much of a stir was created when the first rumors of Christian leaving TNA to return to the "e". By waiting out the end of his contact while being off camera it has created even more of a buzz because Christian has been long anticipated to be making his triumphant return to the very pinnacle of the WWE's…mid-card. If he were to actually show up back in TNA it would be both the biggest swerve of the year as well as one of the bigger disappointments. Not that Christian won't do just fine back in Orlando but it would be a huge slap in the face to the "e". the trick here is that Christian truly is a "free agent" for the second time rather than a "castoff" as is the stigma with guys like Elijah Burke, Hardcore Holly, or Snitsky after being "wished well" by the "e". leaving on your own terms as a wrestler is such a key element to creating your own buzz and having built in respect by the fans upon your return.

There are plenty of guys who have taken the proverbial "hiatus" due to injury. Edge, ‘Taker, HHH, Batista, Cena, all have taken months off at a time due to various bumps, bruises, and mysterious muscle tears. While their absence have been treated with sympathy and returns treated with anticipation it is a different feelings than when a wrestler simply steps away because they have just had enough. Bret Hart, Stone Cold, and Ric Flair have had well documented "retirements" that were brought on by injury or age, but none of them garnered the kind of long term longing and wistfulness as when The Rock stepped away at the top of his game. Sure some may also lump Brock Lesnar in with The Rock, but at that point the build up to Lesnar leaving brought on bitterness and anger from fans, where as most fans always assumed that The Rock would be back in the squared circle sometime, I mean surely he wouldn't live in tinsel town forever…right? Yep, surprisingly The Rock's charisma and good looks struck a chord as much with movie fans as they did with wrestling fans and for many of us he was the one superstar that "got away". It's not always just when you walk away, but on what terms.

If you look at the landscape of the WWE right now you can see two examples of wrestlers who recently came back from their own self imposed hiatuses and returned with mixed results. Christ Jericho originally came back to a good reaction, but eventually the fanfare died down as he was consistently jobbed out as a ‘face' and eventually turned heel in a fabulous feud with HBK. Eventually when Jericho turned fully heel he found true success by capturing the WWE title twice before being seemingly banished back down to the mid-card for a spell. He's back now in the title scene with his opportunity in the Elimination Chamber, but let's face it, only Cena has a real shot of retaining the title and facing the uber-heel Randy Orton.

Big Show only wishes he could have had the same level of success as Jericho did. Sure he came back with a "high profile" Wrestlemania match. Unfortunately he came away on not only the losing end, but on the losing end against a non-wrestler half his size. Granted it was against a world class athlete, it was still a heavy sacrifice to make for a guy who used to be the terror of the WWE. Then again, the guy's name was "Big Show"…how is a guy supposed to strike fear into an opponents heart when he sounds like a Broadway musical staring Nathan Lane. Big Show walked away with a reputable pedigree when he left the "e", supposedly to not only rest some old nagging injuries, but to also try his hand at boxing. Ironic when you think that he left to become a boxer and returned to actually fight one. Big Show's self imposed "vacation" was cut short after his good ol' buddy Cash Money came a calling and it looks like his hero's return wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

Speaking of HBK, the man has been saddled with injuries numerous times his career and has been in a ring about as much as he has on a surgeon's table. There was of course a big layover for Michaels after his ill-fated run as commissioner of the WWF and before his triumphant return to RAW as a member of the N.W.O….um, okay, so maybe THAT particular angle wasn't so great, but you gotta admit that a good number of his feuds and matches have been pretty good since. The time away from the ring to reflect on things and get a bit of his swagger back definitely shows and that seems to be all the difference. Look at Finlay now…okay, let's say look at Finlay back when he wasn't overshadows by a dirty midget under a ring. The time off between WCW and stepping down as an "agent" really recharged his batteries. The same could be said for JBL…at least in a character and promo sense. It looks as if he perhaps took a bit TOO much time off since his first few matches back featured more cleavage than your average Diva battle royal. Still, it goes to show that sometimes it takes time to not only rejuvenate one's body but also soul.

Jeff Jarrett could probably attest to the latter part of that as his time off was mainly due to the emotional toll that being a wrestler as well as personal tragedy wore on him. The man took some time off and managed to become a vital part of the biggest angle in the company's short history. Even his matches against Kurt Angle proved the man still had what it took to put on a decent performance. Sting is and other TNA wrestler who went out his own way back when WCW folded and decided to take a good long vacation before resurfacing with TNA, which many thought was a poor idea when he could have come back to wrestling in the "e", but again he has proven to have made the right choice as he is not only a featured player who has been well protected in his time with the company, but also manages to wrestler a pretty light schedule for the money he makes. Sting had the opportunity to sit and bide his time because he had built up such a legacy over his career that any time he choose to step back between those ropes he would be well received by the fans. He's a lot like Hogan and Flair in that respect. A little time off and a good set of opponents and Sting again is back at the top of the industry. Okay, as far up the industry as you can get with TNA.

In fact it's not just a phenomenon within the TNA and the "e", if you recall before finding a home in RoH, Jerry Lynn took some time off after asking for his release from TNA. The man came back rejuvenated and back in a company that featured him for his wrestling above all else. Which is good because outside of the ring work the man really had not much else to offer. Not a knock on him as a teacher or performer, but the man's personality and character was drier than Mae Young's vagina. Yeah…let that image just fester in your cranium for a day. Sure Mr. JL's hiatus wasn't very long, but when you consider how long it was since he was a full-time performer it has been quite a while. Even now the fans of PWG have another wrestler coming off a long layoff after being, well, laid off to wrestler at the February 21st PWG show, Paul London. London has only been out of the ring for maybe 5 or 6 months, even though he wasn't officially released until November but nonetheless it was speculated that after his no-compete clause was up he would spurn the potential draw of TNA or RoH and try his hand at acting. Even moving to Los Angeles in that pursuit. Well that spelled bad news for TNA and RoH, however it did seem to open up an opportunity for PWG since his new traveling schedule would come to about an hour in traffic both ways. I for one am pumped to see who London hits his patented SSP on next. Joey Ryan? Chris Hero? Drunken Legion Hall Larry? Who knows?

Wrestling is a grueling sport, both mentally and physically. Everyone gets a little burnt out, whether it's the travel and toll on your family and friend or if it's the daily aches and pains that really add up. Having to be on the road every day can cause the kind of strain on a person that only sales people probably know, even then I've never heard of a sales guy dislocating an elbow during a really tough powerpoint presentation. When you're in an industry that doesn't have "seasons" and "breaks" it never hurts to take a little break every now and again. Too bad that most wrestler don't have that luxury since it is such a competitive industry and there is always some whippersnapper waiting in the wings to take his spot. Maybe one day if the wrestler world ever gets a union we'll see mandatory breaks and vacations that will allow a performer to heal up and recharge, but until then I guess they'll have to work hard enough to get to that upper echelon where they truly can just call a "time out".

The Truth

Everyone needs a little time off. If they didn't we wouldn't have weekends. Whether you be wrestler, ring crew, or even internet wrestling columnist, everyone needs a little time to sit back and actually miss the sport. Otherwise you end up with a burnout or a burnout in denial who is too addicted to painkillers to even have a clue. Yeah, I'm talkin' about Cook. Yes, Bourbon IS a "painkiller" in my book.

Coming Up Short

Bravo for Randy Orton very logically explaining why Shane McMahon teed off on "Bromance" while they just stood there. But afterwards they have the "Tool Academy" jump the McMahon kids and seemingly get away with it. Stephanie decides that ‘taker is all the revenge she needs and I'm back to wondering just why the "e" keeps going back and forth between trying to interject the idea of real "law" and "wrestling law" in their storylines with no actual consistency. Randy Orton can sue because of some condition he has and yet he can attack people with impunity and he gets away scott free. Oh man, I just wish the "e" would pick a line of kayfabe and stick with it because the random jumping between "legalities" and "backstage justice" is coming up short of any real logic here. At the very least Stephanie should have set up Orton to fight both brothers or at least make Cody and Teddy face each other in a Bra and Panty Match…oh wait a sec…damn those PG ratings.

6 Degrees of…



Dude…do I really have to help you guys figure out the link between these two? For the first time ever I had no one to root for in the Super Bowl, as a bitter Seahawks fan I hated both teams. My real hope was that the blimp would somehow fall onto the field and kill both teams simultaneously. Oh well, I guess not all dreams come true.



Whatchu talkin' bout readers?

I think the problem is we've seen pretty much every variation of Wrestler vs. Authority figure and they all suck. Sadly wrestling promoters see one idea that worked and will keep on running it into the ground and then wonder why their fans all bailed.

Posted By: Guest#0728

The thing about the "Boss" vs "Employee" feud? The boss is always a moron…that's what pink slips are for. Trust me, if I attack my boss in the break room with some of my buddies and punt his sister in the head, good chance I'm not getting my own new swank t-shirt. Okay, maybe some nice orange overalls, but that's about it.

Hey Bayani, it's "oi" not "oy" ya flamin' drongo. now, where's my bloody foster's at...

Posted By: Chilly McFreeze

Oi? Really? That is way too close to "oui" and no one wants to be mistaken for the French. No one…not even French Canadians. Actually come to think of it…maybe I was ACTUALLY referring to Sforcina being Yidish…huh? You ever thought of that? Huh??

6 Degrees Results

#1.

Manu -> Son of Afa -> Trained Mickey Rourke for "the Wrestler" -> Co-Star Marissa Tomei appeared as herself on Seinfeld -> The soup nazi was on scrubs ->Dj Qualls guest starred on Scrubs, and played Hurley's best friend on Lost

Posted By: Joel Yeomans

Left Overs…

Now that the "Pitbull" has joined ECW it will only be a matter of time between the former Matt Sydal tags up with another returning ECW star to form the high flying tandem of "Bournes and Noble"…Book it!!

Anyone think of a good name for a Knox/Kane tag team yet? Someone has to come up with something good because so far all I've got is, "No Pain, Rogaine".

John Cena has PG'ed his finishing move and will now be calling the FU the "Attitude Adjustment". A couple of the rejected names were "Valium Control" and "ProZak Attack" (accompanied by the STF called the "Buddy Band") which had some copyright issues as well "Serotonin Bomb"…rejected mainly because Serotonin doesn't sound like it would be able to finish anything.

Donruss has announced they will be producing the first ever autographed trading cards of Ric Flair. Each pack will also contain a piece of game celebrating Ric Flair's career. The flavors are: Gin and Tonic, Caviar, and Ring Rat.

RoH is courting Val Venis for a few appearances now that he's been let go by the WWE. Chances are he'll find a way to team up with Rhett Titus to form a tag team known as "Natural Porn Thrillas". Making their "double team finisher" among the most difficult to shake off in the business without a wet-nap.

The WW-PG will be banning "Bra and Panty" matches as part of their drive to become more family friendly. They will now be replaced with a more appropriate evening wear contest. So hot, it's adequately warm.

This Sunday Jay Lethal and Consequences Creed will have to take on Beer Money if they want the TNA Tag Titles again. Something tells me these guys are going to defy the odds and win the titles too. Besides, even if James Storm gets his hand on a beer bottle it's still 28 less ounces than they are used to being hit with.

Looks like the Macho Man DVD is back in the works. The cool thing about the packaging is that the DVD also acts as a stand for the Hulk Hogan DVD.

The Great Booty Debate 2009

It's been one hell of a week so far from me and it seems like the world is just kick a part of my body that he blessed these two fine women with.

Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



Sokhoeun: Sounds like Soul Caliber character…looks like a DoA chick. *gamer high five*

Random Latina Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



Delicia: I think you got something on your ass…oh…it's my attention.

TNA is planning to bring in former Governor Rod Blagojevich at every house show possible this year in the hopes that maybe HE can manage to sell a few seats to the show.

Plans for the WWE Hall of Fame have Ric Flair inducting Ricky Steamboat, Vince McMahon inducting Stone Cold Steve Austin, and married women inducting blow jobs.

Pimpin' In High Places

Talk about your gluttons for punishment:

Ask 411

FoF

Piledriver Report

Top 5

HH

CoH

4R's



D-Dubya

I was thinking of doing another bonus section to pimp out PWG's big show on the 21st featuring Paul London's return to the Indy scene, Human Tornado's return from injury, Kenny Omega's return to the West Coast, and TJ Perkin's farewell to the West Coast. But you know…I'm still holding out for at LEAST a free comped Almond Joy…hell, I'd settle for a Mounds. But you know, for those of you who are interested in also seeing Bryan Danielson, Austin Aries, El Generico, the Youngbucks, Los Luchas, and Necro Butcher, then feel free to Check Out The PWG Website for more information. Hell it's probably a big enough show for someone to write a whole column about to preview it. Unfortunately that will not be me.

If you guys didn't get the hint by this week's topic, I'm a little burned out right now. I've been busting my ass at work lately, traveling 3 times more than normal and not to mention…I'm just running out of stuff to write about. I'm just flat out gassed right now, like Super Dragon at a Cardio Kickboxing class. I can't believe Csonka managed to do what he does for this long without turning to the bottle, beating his wife, developing an addiction to a deadly mix of Xanex, Sudafed, and Surge cola, or worse…listening to 30 Seconds to Mars on is iPod as he hangs out in front of the Hot Topic and eating Cinnabons. Well hopefully this hiatus will only be for the next few weeks while I try to get my shit together and recharge my dirty joke batteries. Everyone one needs a little break and after missing only 2 weeks in the past 3+ years I am just running on fumes here…not the same "fumes" RVD is, but close. But don't fear, I'll still be around the website one way or another, it's just that I need to take a break from the column…it's not you, it's me, I'm just in a weird place right now where I need to be very "me" focused on…well, can we still keep our readership in tact? Well I'm not sure who fills the Thursday hole that only I can, but I'm sure that before you know it I'll be back. Well…hopefully, I guess in wrestling you really never know.

Till then, the Truth will set you free.

-B