The Wrestling Doctor 02.17.09: Wrestlemania IX Reload

Posted by W.S. Thomason on 02.17.2009

The Wrestling Doctor reloads the worst biggest stage of all time, Wrestlemania IX.

THE WRESTLING DOCTOR

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A few years ago someone asked me what was the one thing I missed the least about living in my home state of North Carolina. My response – in all seriousness – was not having to hear Mike Hogewood. Really, ROH? Mike Hogewood? Anyone who lived in the North Carolina piedmont in the nineties just threw up a little in their mouth when they read that news item. CA-RO-LINA KIA!

THIS WEEK'S PATIENT: WRESTLEMANIA IX RELOAD

The most maligned Wrestlemania of all time was the ninth edition, held on April 4, 1993. The show was the first Mania after professional wrestling had taken a significant downturn business-wise, and the event was held at a converted tennis stadium at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. The venue and atmosphere were a significant step down from the pageantry of the stadium and big arena shows of the past, despite the WWF's cheesy attempts to put a classical touch on the event.

The biggest disappointment of Wrestlemania IX was the outcome of the main event. Bret Hart's WWF Title defense against Yokozuna did not carry the weight of previous events, and it was the first Wrestlemania main event to have been regularly run on the house show circuit prior to the big show. Hart had been pushed since October 1992 as the most fighting WWF Champion of all time. Hart was seen as the torchbearer as the first big step away from the WWF's 1980's line-up, so everyone assumed that he would walk out of Las Vegas with the gold intact. Hulk Hogan had returned to the company in February after a near-year hiatus to help Brutus Beefcake against Tag Team Champions Money Inc, but there was no indication that he would stay around for the long term.

Yokozuna defeated Hart for the title, becoming the first heel to win a Wrestlemania main event, and Hogan came out to assist Hart. Mr. Fuji challenged Hogan to an impromptu match, and Hogan won the belt in 21 seconds. Much of the wrestling world let out a collective groan of a volume that would not be rivaled until the end of Starrcade 97.

The main event was not the only problem with Wrestlemania IX. The line up was not bad, but the actual performances were sub-par for the talent involved. Every participant seemed to be at least a little off. The Las Vegas environment may not have been the best for the party-hard roster. There have been persistent rumors that Hogan and Randy Savage had a physical altercation over the weekend, and that Vince and Linda McMahon were resolving long-standing marital issues. Speculation aside, the wrestlers just did not perform well, as not one match from the entire show stands out. Even IX's bridesmaid, Wrestlemania XI, put one solid match on the table. With Wrestlemania XXV on the horizon, it is time to reload Wrestlemania IX.

As a refresher, my main criteria for a reload are that:
• The show was considerably disappointing if not outright horrendous.
• Changing the show, even significantly, would not radically alter wresting history. (For example, I would not rebook Survivor Series 1997 because of the Montreal Screwjob, but I would work over Super Brawl 93.) A truly mediocre show does not have any major long-term impact.
• The show has to re-booked within the context of its time. For example, Wrestlemania IX could not be re-loaded with an Attitude Era feel.

The main event options for Wrestlemania IX were not very attractive. Bret Hart had already run through all of the company's top competition. His challenger, Yokozuna, was devastating but had only been with the company for six months. Razor Ramon, who had been built up as the company's top heel since September, may have been a good bet, but Hart had decisively defeated The Bad Guy at The Royal Rumble. The best option for a reload would be to put the representative of the WWF's New Generation against the icon of its eighties heyday: Hart vs. Hogan, in a match to truly pass the torch from one decade to another.

Maybe this match could be set up at The Royal Rumble the same way that the real Wrestlemania IX ended. Money Inc. attacks a returning Brutus Beefcake at the end of 1992, resulting in Hogan appearing on the first Monday Night Raw. Hogan and Beefcake win by disqualification over Money Inc. in a tag title match at the Rumble. Meanwhile, Yokozuna beats Bret for the strap. Hogan comes out to tend to The Hitman, Mr. Fuji challenges him to an impromptu title match, and Hogan wins the gold. Hart naturally wants the belt back, and thus a match with The Hulkster is set for Wrestlemania IX.

Basil DeVito states in his Wrestlemania book that Caesar's Palace never truly believed that Hulk Hogan would not be involved in IX, though that was the original plan. Hogan's participation did seem rushed, and the tag match with Beefcake was not exactly of the same caliber build of his other Wrestlemania efforts. Giving Hogan's return more build would have certainly helped the show, though it may have involved substantial backstage maneuvering.

The biggest downside of the loss to Yokozuna at The Royal Rumble would be the weakening of Hart as champion. Hart won the gold in October, so the loss would have ended his reign after three months, in the middle of his build. The WWF could have spun the loss, however, by emphasizing Hart's heavy defense load as WWF champion even more so than they did during his first reign. There could be other mitigating factors – such as a kayfabe injury or illness, like the one that lead to his loss of the IC Title to The Mountie – to keep Hart strong for a win over Hogan at the big show.

The second option to build the match would be for Hogan to help out Beefcake with the same story as above, but without the win over Yokozuna at the Rumble. Hart goes into Wrestlemania as champion and defeats Hogan to retain the belt. The story is simpler and keeps Bret strong, but it does not give him as big of a bump as if he had won the gold off of The Hulkster.

Regardless of build, the Hart-Hogan match could only end one way. Hogan nails the big boot, goes for the leg drop, but The Hitman rolls out of the way. Hogan hits the mat hard, sells it like he did at Wrestlemania VI, and Hart slaps on the sharpshooter. Hogan submits, and Bret Hart is immediately elevated to a new level of WWF Champion. He would also have gained tons of kayfabe credibility, being the only man at the time with world title wins over both Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan (in reality, only Sting holds that honor). If Hogan did not want to job to Hart at Summerslam 93 as Vince originally planned, he most likely would have objected to putting Bret over on the biggest stage of them all. But for the purposes of this reload, I will delude myself that in the mid-nineties Hogan would do what was best for the company instead of for himself.

The ramifications of this reload would stretch into Wrestlemania X. Yokozuna's title reign in 1993 led to Lex Luger's face turn, which set up the Summerslam main event and failed Lex Express tour, which led to the Hart / Luger double Royal Rumble win, and multi-part Wrestlemania X main event. The X story is too good to change, especially Owen's opening match win over Bret, all of which would be in jeopardy if Bret holds the title throughout 1993. Yokozuna would need to get the title off of Bret. The King of the Ring PPV would be a good spot, with Hart first winning the tournament through three matches and then dropping to Yoko in a fourth. The story could be that Bret was essentially over-zealous in being a fighting champion. Jerry Lawler could have interfered, setting up the Hart-Lawler feud and setting the split with Owen into motion. Summerslam could be another option, with the Luger-Yokozuna angle occurring in the fall, though that scenario is not as attractive.

Championships – particularly world titles – did not change hands in the early nineties with the frequency of the Monday Night War era and beyond. Losing the belt at The Royal Rumble and then The King of the Ring could make Hart look like an unsustainable champion in the context of 1993, so a tremendous effort would have to be made to explain why Hart was losing the belt twice in six months. Despite this, Hart gains a bigger push by winning the belt off of Hogan at Wrestlemania IX instead of just retaining it.

The Hart-Hogan main event leaves Yokozuna out in the cold, but the perfect space for him to fill is against The Undertaker. Drop Giant Gonzalez from the WWF altogether – he really had no impact – and have Yokozuna feud with The Dead Man for the spring and summer. Their matches were much better than what even the UT could pull out of Gonzalez. Undertaker wins by disqualification at Wrestlemania.

The WWF Tag Team Title match open up because of Hogan's card shift, but The Steiner Brothers are there to move in. The Steiners feuded with and won the titles off of Money Inc. in the spring and summer, so this match is a natural. To extend the feud, book a Dusty finish akin to the ending of the original Money Inc. – Mega Maniacs match. The Steiners appear to win the belts only to have the decision reversed and the titles returned to Money Inc. on a DQ. The feud is extended through The Steiner's title win in June.

The Steiners' original IX opponent, The Headshrinkers, could be booked into a six man win with Bam Bam Bigelow over The Nasty Boys, who were on their way out of the company, and Kamala. The Headshrinkers and Nasty Boys had a wild brawl on a March edition of Raw, so the feud was already set up. Bigelow and Kamala were originally scheduled to wrestle on the card, but the match was cut due to time restrictions.

I would not make substantial revisions to the rest of the card. Wrestlemania IX was not a bad show on paper, but the performances in many matches left the show flat. Something is in the water when Shawn Michaels, the early nineties Steiners, and Mr. Perfect are all blowing multiple spots in one show. Maybe the weekend in Las Vegas was party heavy, or maybe it was the outdoor setting, but something was not quite right with the roster. The best reload for these problems is not to change matches but to address the backstage issues that showed up in the ring.

The reloaded Wrestlemania IX looks like this:

• Bret Hart over Hulk Hogan to win the WWF Title (18:27)
• The Undertaker over Yokozuna by disqualification (7:33)
• Lex Luger over Mr. Perfect (10:56)
• Tag Team Champions Money Inc. over The Steiners by disqualification (14:22)
• Razor Ramon over Bob Backlund (3:45)
• Doink the Clown over Crush (6:28)
• The Headshrinkers & Bam Bam Bigelow over The Nasty Boys & Kamala (8:17)
• Tatanka over Intercontinental Champion Shawn Michaels by count-out (16:13)

Not the best Wrestlemania by any means, but with a little attention the ninth edition of the biggest show of the year may not have ended up being the worst.