411mania's Squared Circle News Report 02.21.09
Posted by Dustin James on 02.21.2009
411’s Dustin James discusses the release of Scotty Goldman, Raw’s big rating, Robert Roode’s contract extension, Impact’s record rating, his top 10 worst WrestleMania matches and more! Check out the full column for all the details!
Welcome to the very first edition of 411mania's Squared Circle News Report. My name is Dustin James and perhaps we should take a little time to get to know each other since I will be your host every Saturday morning for this little shindig. I have been a wrestling fan since 1990 so I believe I'm more than qualified in the experience department to write this thing. I use to write in 411mania's MMA section, but I recently left the MMA zone to explore other opportunities. However, I decided to take this gig when Larry offered it to me because of my love for wrestling and my love for Randy Harrison. I'm going to try and fill this news report with as much content as possible. I plan on adding new features all the time and I plan on trying to give you a nice little mix of honest opinion blended in with some humor. It just so happens that my debut column falls on the same weekend as the Seafood & Wine Festival (nothing is better than a little dungeness crab with a nice glass of white wine) at the Oregon Coast, so if I'm a little distracted during this sucker....bare with me.
Now.........LET'S ROLL!!!
(First person to make me a banner wins a free naked picture of their girlfriend! How I obtained said
picture will remain a mystery however.....)
Biggest News Of The Week:
This feature is pretty easy to explain. The biggest news of the week goes here. See how easy that was?
WWE Releases Scotty Goldman
Say it ain't so Scotty, say it ain't so!
The WWE announced on Friday that they have released Scotty "Colt Cabana" Goldman and he was wished the best in his future endeavors. According to PWInsider, Goldman was released because the creative team couldn't think of anything to do with him. That's right, Goldman gets released because the WWE can't think of anything to do with him (god forbid they ship him to RAW and bring up his past with CM Punk), yet Hornswoggle and The Boogeyman remain active on TV. This once again shows how "out of it" the WWE creative team can be at times. Goldman is a great worker who has charisma and is young, yet the WWE just shipped him on the first plane out of town. Apparently Kevin Dunn and some of the other guys were down on Goldman's look. That just reeks of something they should have noticed BEFORE THEY SIGNED HIM. Not only that, but Goldman is a great wrestling announcer and the WWE is very very thin on great announcers. Maybe I'm stupid, but I would prefer Goldman over the majority of the current WWE announcers. Perhaps TNA will sign Cabana and throw him behind the announce table. The dude would get over, trust me. Stupid, stupid move WWE.
RAW Scores Huge Rating!
Some good news came the WWE's way this week in the form of a nice 4.1 rating for RAW, which is the highest rating the show has scored in some time. Now, we see it every year. The ratings usually increase around Wrestlemania time because some of the old hardcore fans will even tune in to see the WWE's Super Bowl, so this rating is no surprise. The WWE can dwell in the fact that they finally broke a 4.0 as it has been awhile since they achieved that mark. Hell, it was just a few months ago they were dwelling in the 2.5 territory, so a 4.1 could be considered a huge improvement. Anyone remember the good old days of the "Monday Night Wars" when RAW would average around an 8.0? Yep, times have changed indeed. Of course, some people want to contribute RAW's rating to the build-up for Wrestlemania. Not this guy! I contribute the increase in RAW's rating to one man and one man only.....
Ya, ya, ya I know....Christian is on ECW. However, the man is so cool that he was able to rub off some of his good luck onto RAW. I'm betting fans heard that Christian returned to the WWE so they naturally watched RAW to see him only to be disappointed to learn that he was wrestling on the Sci-Fi channel. Good job Christian, I knew you could do it buddy!
Legends Of Wrestlemania Roster Announced
Michael Hayes is a legend of Wrestlemania? Hehh? Come again?
Yes, this news might be considered somewhat "old" but I haven't got a chance to speak on it yet, so screw you. I have been a WWE fan since 1990 and this is my dream game, minus the upcoming UFC one of course. I remember years ago when they released the "Legends of Wrestling" series and I was pumped that I could finally play as some of the legends who weren't around for this video game era. However, there was one little problem. The gameplay licked ass. So for years I have been praying for a WWE sponsored legends game and I have finally got it! The gameplay looks questionable in the videos I have seen so far, but let's face it. The reason you are buying this game is to play as the legends....so who made the game? Does the roster warrant spending $60 on a game that you have serious questions about in the gameplay department? Let's check it out...
The Good:
Hulk Hogan, Andre The Giant. Rowdy Roddy Piper, Bret Hart, Bam Bam Bigelow, Shawn Michaels, Jimmy Hart, Bobby Heenan, Legion of Doom, Ted DiBiase, Junkyard Dog, Steve Austin, The Rock, Greg Valentine, Dusty Rhodes, Yokozana, Mr Fuji, British Bulldog, Honky Tonk Man, Jake "The Snake" Roberts, Rick Rude, Undertaker, Paul Bearer, Mr. Perfect, Big Boss Man, Arn Anderson, Ric Flair, Ultimate Warrior, Jimmy Snuka
The Decent:
Big John Studd, Iron Sheik, Jim Duggan, Jim Neidhart, Nikolai Volkoff, Kamala, Koko B. Ware
The Bad:
Michael Hayes, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, King Kong Bundy, Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake
So there ya go. Judging by my group breakdown, I guess you can see I'm pretty happy overall with this roster. There are a few omissions to the list and this is just a few off the top of my head:
Demolition (Ax, Smash), Powers of Pain, Randy Savage, Bad News Brown, Ricky Steamboat, Razor Ramon, Owen Hart, Mankind, Diesel, Bob Orton, Paul Orndorff, Tito Santana, Rick Martel and that was all in under a minute! My point is, why include someone like Michael PS Hayes who has never wrestled at a Wrestlemania (minus the gimmick battle royale) and include someone like Chico Santana? Let's hope next year they can improve on this already impressive roster.....
Robert Roode Signs Contract Extension With TNA
Why does it look like Roode wants to kill Borash? Well, you really can't blame him...
In some great news for TNA fans, Robert Roode recently announced that he has signed a new 5-year deal and thinks that the company may be planning a singles push for him in the near future. Like I said, this is a great move for TNA but do they really plan on breaking up Beer Money anytime soon? Beer Money is one of my personal favorite tag teams and one of the only reasons I watch TNA now that Christian is gone. I would hate to seem them break them up so soon. Roode did have a pretty funny quote during a recent interview with The Peterborough Examiner:
"There are guys in our company right now -- like Kurt Angle, Booker T and Kevin Nash-- who are in their 40s and their careers are near the end. Mine is just peaking."
Apparently Roode doesn't know that guys like Hogan and Flair wrestled into their 50's, so it's highly possible that Angle, Booker, or Nash could be around 5 years from now. Does he really think that by the time his new contract is up that TNA will have abandoned their current plan of featuring WWE rejects? Perhaps Roode is more of a optimist than me. Either way, this is good news for TNA and TNA fans.
TNA Impact Sets New Record
In some EXCELLENT news for TNA, WrestlingObserver.com is reporting that Thursday's edition of TNA Impact on Spike TV set a new record with 1.9 million viewers. That has to be some outstanding news for the brass over at TNA. However, their job is not done yet. Now that they know they have the potential to bring that audience in, they need to do whatever they can to bring that audience back each week. It took them along time to get here and now they need to capitalize on this situation. With RAW and Impact both scoring great numbers this week, perhaps we are seeing an interest in mainstream wrestling once again. Could it be the success of "The Wrestler" bringing in a whole new crowd of people who respect the sport? We shall see in the upcoming weeks.
Remember This Guy???
In this feature I will profile a WWE or WCW gimmick of the 1980's and 1990's that didn't last very long.
Saba Simba
Ohhh man. Who doesn't love them some Saba Simba? What's that? You don't remember Saba Simba?!?!? Shame on you! Simba was actually Tony Atlas who was portraying a warrior from a Ugandan tribe. A lot of people considered the gimmick to be racist, while all the other people just considered it to be downright retarded. The main thing I remember about Simba was his dancing, which means something considering I remember it and it happened almost 20 years ago. Simba didn't last long in the WWE. He came into the federation in late-1990 and was gone just a few months later.
If you would like to see a Saba Simba televised appearance, just view the 1991 Royal Rumble.
Random News Bits:
Here are some random news tidbits that weren't considered "big" enough for the top news section.
-Former TNA star Matt Bentley has officially left pro wrestling and is currently playing guitar for the rock band "Lost in Chaos" in Florida. I figured I would mention this news due to the fact that Bentley's three fans can add his band to their MYSPACE OMG!!!!!!! LOLZ~!!!
-WWE & WCW veteran Ernest "The Cat" Miller recently spoke about his role in "The Wrestler". He mentioned that he had to spend his own money to fly to Los Angeles for the tapings and had to gain weight in order to look like a more out of shape former wrestler. Weird....I was pretty sure that Miller was an out of shape former wrestler, but to each his own.
-Lacey Von Erich (daughter of "The Texas Tornado" Kerry Von Erich) will be posing for Playboy soon. In shocking related news, people still buy Playboy. Are you kidding me? It's called Internet porn people!
-Former WWE Diva Cherry has left wrestling to pursue a college degree. Good for her. I'm glad to see not all former WWE Diva's leave the federation to argue with 13-year old's on MySpace (looking at you Ashley!).
-D'Lo Brown is scheduled to be on the ROH 7th Anniversary Show on March 21 at the Hammerstein Ballroom. I have always been a huge fan of D'Lo, and while his last WWE run was less than memorable...I'm glad to see him moving on and continuing his career. I still tend to do the D'Lo walk from time to time with "YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE REAL DEAL NOW" exploding in my head. It can be a scary time for anyone around me.
-A lot of people within TNA disagreed with the company's decision to cut Petey Williams. I agree 100% with these people. Williams is an extremely talented wrestler and was constantly a company man. When you add in the fact that he's young (27), an all-around nice guy, and has one of the best finishers EVE, it absolutely boggles my mind as to why TNA would axe him. Oh, that's right....it's TNA. Silly me, I always forget these things.
-Wrestling legend Verne Gagne has been named as a suspect in the death of his 97 year-old roommate. The two men shared a room at the Friendship Village home and both suffered from Alzheimer's Disease-related dementia. Gagne and his roommate got into a physical altercation which led to the roommate passing away due to injuries suffered from the fight days later. Sorry, no jokes here....
-Scott Seigel, who played a steroid dealer in "The Wrestler" was recently arrested for....dealing steroids. OK, say it with me now.....
Saturday Morning Story-Time:
In this section I will be taking a TRUE story that is wrestling related as well as related to myself and sharing it with you. These will be short stories, so have no fear!
"Rowdy" Roddy Piper was my gym partner! (OK, not really)
Thankfully this look didn't catch on.....
Back in the day (not a Wednesday in this case) I use to have a routine where I went to the gym daily. I was right out of high school and the gym was within walking distance from my house, so every morning I would wake up, guzzle my CELL-TECH (YUCK!), and then jog to the gym. One day while working out, I noticed this fellow wearing a hood who looked awfully familiar. Lo and behold it was none other than WWE hall-of-famer "Rowdy" Roddy Piper! Now, I grew up in the small town of Forest Grove, Oregon. Our neighboring "bigger brother" town is Hillsboro, which happened to be where Piper has lived for years. Why he lives in Hillsboro? You got me. If I had money like Piper should have, I would live somewhere like Las Vegas or perhaps ANYWHERE but Hillsboro, Oregon.
Now, I have had several run-ins with "Rowdy" Roddy Piper before....several of which I will cover here (One story even includes Piper having the police come over to my house, but that's a story for a WHOLE other day), but this was different. I was working out in the same gym as a WWE hall-of-famer! As a HUGE 80's-90's WWE fan growing up, this was awesome. Now, I didn't do any sort of crazy stalker things like lick the weight machine Piper had just used or stare at him in uncomfortable silence. I just went on with my workout and let him get on with his. Still, it was weird to see Piper in a small town gym every day of the week for about a month. That kind of stuff doesn't happen in Oregon.
As for next week? Perhaps I will share the story involving Piper sending the police to my house....hey, I needed to build it up!
Wrestlemania Top 10 Lists:
With Wrestlemania right around the corner, every Saturday I will present you with a special Wrestlemania-themed top 10 list. Trust me, it will be good times!
Top 10 Worst Wrestlemania Matches
(This list is in no particular order)
10) Jake "The Snake Roberts vs. Rick Martel - Blindfold Match - Wrestlemania 7
While the storyline building up to this match wasn't that bad, the match itself was boring and is not worth your time.
9) Bobby "The Brain" Heenan vs. Red Rooster - Wrestlemania 5
The Red Rooster was a terrible gimmick, but I'm a HUGE Terry Taylor fan. The fact that he was beat up by The Brooklyn Brawler at a Wrestlemania is traumatizing.
8) A-Train/Big Show vs. The Undertaker/Nathan Jones - Wrestlemania 19
This match was so bad, that one of the wrestlers (Jones) was taken out of the match before the PPV even started. I was there live at this event, and I do have to admit...the fact that Jones didn't wrestle on the card made my night 100x better.
7) Candice Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson - Playboy Pillow Fight - Wrestlemania 22
Why god WHY? That's all I have to say about that.
6) Akebono vs. The Big Show - Wrestlemania 21
Hey, here's a good idea. Let's have The Big Show fight Sumo champion Akebono at the biggest WWE card of the year! It was a bad idea as soon as it was suggested, and it remains a nightmare to this day.
5) Torrie Wilson & Sable vs. Stacy Keibler & Miss Jackie - Playboy Evening Gown Match - Wrestlemania 20
Torrie Wilson happens to be on this list twice now.....it's a damn good thing she was so hot.
4) Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb - Wrestlemania 10
Wrestlemania 10 remains one of my favorite all-time Wrestlemania's for obvious reasons. However, skip this fight at all costs.
3) King Kong Bundy vs. SD Jones - Wrestlemania 1
The best thing about this match? It lasted all of nine seconds......
2) George Wells vs. Jake "The Snake" Roberts - Wrestlemania 2
George who??? Exactly!
1) Butterbean vs. Bart Gunn - Wrestlemania 15
The WWE was trying to get it's "Brawl for All" toughman contest over and Bart Gunn was the SURPRISE winner of the tournament, so what do they decide to do? Show the world how great Gunn is by having him face Butterbean. The fight was over quicker than it took me to write this sentence.
And for those of you who don't know who Butterbean is....
Is it wrong that his cleavage turns me on?
YouTube! Find Of The Week!
The greatest WWE gimmick of all-time........
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And that's it for this week. Don't worry, this column will only get better with time. I will try to add as many new features as possible to keep this baby fresh. See you next Saturday back in the Squared Circle! Until then, you can find me on MySpace or Facebook!
Posted By: Paul London is Free aka This Guy (Registered) on February 20, 2009 at 11:31 PM
not bad
though the top ten worst mania matches.
your missing the worst match of all time.
Goldberg vs Brock lesnar from Wrestlemania XX
Posted By: Brian (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 12:03 AM
Agreed on Brock/Goldberg being the worst match in WM history (I was there live....terrible terrible contest).
Loved the column and the (not on a Wednesday) comment. lulz. The Dane train just pulled into the station.
Keep it up!
Posted By: Empire Of Ownage (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 12:34 AM
Jake Roberts vs. George Welles was one of the most effective squash matches of all time. Most people didn't know who Jake Roberts was at that point because TBS didn't show much of the original Legion of Doom during Jake's NWA run. George sold Jake's DDT with the alka-selzer like no one else in the business. The production crew zooming in on Damien slithering over a fallen Welles scared me right down to my socks. Jake grabs Damien and slithered out as a stunned crowd looks on.
Great use of a squash match EVER!
Posted By: thegunisgood (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 01:37 AM
I saw kids dressed as Hornswoggle up the wazoo at WM24 but It baffles you that Hornswoggle--- a character in "sports entertainment" keeps his spot over an indy-goof (not a proven commodity in WWE) loses his? Really? that's outstanding that you see it that way---
Colt is so-so in his announcing, he's not better than "most" of the WWE announcers--- seriously, guy... Cole hate aside, that's pretty dumb thing to state. If he doesn't have it in the ring put the goof on commentary???--- No, no, no---- seriously...
the Food & Wine festival aside, you having a forum to bitch & moan over a "sports entertainment" move to ditch a guy that has done NOTHING in WWE (and we are talking WWE here) over guys that new fans dig & is moving merchandise, is awesome...
Colt/Scotty would bring WHAT exactly? Nothing.... seems like a good guy--- fun tights... but if the CMPunk experiment has taught us anything, it's that the indy-goofs have their place & it's not in the billion $ mainstream of pro-wrestling "sports-entertainment" --- it's being spot-monkeys for the IWC socialists that say "this is how it should be" so you guys have a reason to bitch & write on how a spot monkey didn't shine on the big stage...
Upside is--- you can take your lawnmower out with your cousins & see him flip around your local gymnasium ( paid in shriner pancakes) & view him as a wrestling "GOD" --- That-a-boy, Cabanna!! Your fans want nothing but the best for you, bud....
EVIL EVIL WWE......
Hornswoggle will be too busy returning your calls, with all the non-pancake paid appearances at sold-out arenas and counting his money from his share of merchandise movement.. yeah, stupid move, WWE.. Dustin figured you out.....
Posted By: Guest#6969 (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 02:20 AM
funny how everybody loves Doink although it is obviously a kids gimmick too (oh, it's an EVIL clown!)
Posted By: guy incognito (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 02:42 AM
Guest#6969, which thanks for not even writing in a nickname, I enjoy refering to people by numbers!
Nobody is saying that WWE owed Colt anything. What dustin and others have said is, why didn't he get a shot(especially since anytime he got even one minute of screen time, he did about as much as a performer could do with it), and if they didn't like his look, WHY DID THEY BOTHER AT ALL?
Cabana and Punk weren't known for "spot matches" before they got signed. They were known for being good wrestlers and having charisma(and in Colt's case, being hella-funny). The fact that you say that he was a spot monkey proves that you are ignorant of both he AND Punk.
Punk is one of the most popular performers in WWE today BTW, he wouldn't maintain the spot that he does if he wasn't. He has moved plenty of merchandise, more than hornswoggle i'm sure. He probably doesn't move merch in volumes like Jeff Hardy or John Cena, but who does?
Why are you so defensive of hornswoggle? The only reason he is a popular character is the McMahon son angle that was run last year. And while kids might like him, adults don't have to and can bitch about him and do you want to know why? BECAUSE HE ISN'T GEARED TOWARD ADULTS HE'S GEARED TOWARD CHILDREN, AND LAST TIME I CHECKED THIS IS ENTERTAINMENT AND IF I'M NOT BEING ENTERTAINED I CAN COMPLAIN ABOUT IT!
WWE doesn't do everything right, and much like when they released elijah burke, many people don't think this is a good move. it's not as though they are either 100% right 100% of the time or vice versa, and in this case they probably made a mistake.(Especially since Colt didn't even get a real shot)
Posted By: Brett (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 03:37 AM
While there are some notably bad WM matches on the list, there are a few omissions:
Before I state them, let me add that Goldberg v. Lesner is not one of them, because the crowd made the match at least perversely entertaining.
I'd also question Martel v. Snake, which had a decent enough gimmick that allowed the fans to get involved.
Here are a few that I'd include in my list of worst WM matches of all time.
UT v. Giant Gonzales: Sure, UT may have had worse matches in terms of quality, but this gets the nod for ending in a DQ victory for UT.
UT v. Sid: Quite possibly the worst scheduled WM main event. UT was on a role in terms of quality action in 96 and 97, but this match was an anomaly because it was so boring.
Hogan v. Yokozuna: OK, not a scheduled match, but still pretty bad in and of itself.
UT v. Bossmam: Definitely the worst use of the HITC gimmick to date. This was so bad, it wasn't even including on the HITC DVD.
Bret Hart v. Bob Backlund: Not so much a bad match as very very disappointing given the wrestlers and the gimmick. At Survivor Series, they battled in a 40 minute classic, but this match didn't even last as long as Bret was in the crossface chicken wing in the SS match.
Terri Runnels v. Kat: I can't even figure out the logic behind putting this one at the biggest show of the year.
Sable v. Tori: By 99, Sable stopped caring at all about her performance, and this was the result.
Posted By: Michael L (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 04:35 AM
welcome, well done, we'll see you next week.
Posted By: casual_monday_mayhem (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 06:00 AM
Why is HHH, the first heel to ever retain the title at Wrestlemania and a feature of the shows for over ten years, a bad inclusion? Because HHHate is the "in thing" mayhaps? *sigh*
Posted By: King Nikolai (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 06:13 AM
you people and this colt goldman stuff. like the wwe is going to go out of business because they let this guy go and about 12 of you who watch internet wrestling care. get over it. you all can start watching him on you tube or show up at your local 400 seat high school gym and watch him wrestle petey williams. geez
Posted By: ted g (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 06:16 AM
It's Jay Lethal!
Posted By: Guest#6179 (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 06:41 AM
Kane vs Chavo should have been on the Top 10 list
Posted By: BrianB (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 07:55 AM
One quick moan, just because this pops up a lot whenever Raw gets a good rating these days...when on earth did Raw EVER average an 8.0? Their highest rating of all-time was 8.1, just for one single show. Even at their absolute peak in '99, it was more like 6 as the average. That's still higher than 4.1, worth pointing out, but not worth overstating with an 'average of 8'. Not your fault, just seeing things like that repeated a lot.
Posted By: Ryushinku (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 08:10 AM
Must... resist... urge... to feed... troll. Aww hell, this looks like too much fun to not take on. You may still be an ass after reading, but you will be less ignorant, whether you like it or not.
The reasons people are upset about Scotty Cabana getting canned are a.) he not only has a ton of charisma, he is one of the only young call-ups to have shown any noticeable charisma at all (Swagga, Cody Rhodes, & Evan Bourne barely register, Dibiase Jr. straight up charisma black hole), and b.) the excuse that (un)creative has nothing for him is a joke. He's got plenty of charisma and mic skills to hold up his end of a feud, and as mentioned up there in the column, his history with CM Punk is so easy to play with even a Guest#6969 could do it.
And besides, most of us who comment here should probably already be aware that Kevin Dunn is an idiot.
And as far as Indy Spot Monkeys go, amongst the most popular and well-known independent talents, only Jack Evans (who's low on the list anyway) and maybe The Briscoes qualify as true spot monkeys. Danielson a spot monkey? Hell no. Nigel McGuiness? No way. Claudio? Nope. Chris Hero? No. Aries? Roderick Strong? Tyler Black? Seems to me they are all just really good wrestlers who get to showcase everything in their arsenals on a regular basis.
To be fair, I can almost understand you getting confused by guys having a huge repertoire of moves and having the freedom to use them with only the most minimal of restrictions. It can be jarring and strange to see when compared to the frequently toned-down (WWE) and relative lack of wrestling (WWE and TNA) in the mainstream product.
But yeah, you don't see much in the way of mindless spots from the the most respected indie talents, and when you do see crazy shit, it usually makes sense in the context of the match. It's like that song about Kung-Fu Fighting from back in the day. It may be a little bit frightening to your mainstream tastes, but they are fighting with expert timing, even if it doesn't register to you.
And I don't remember guys being paid in pancakes since the dying days of the original ECW.
And for the record, an ROH main event (Adam Pearce booking influence potentially aside) IS how PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING should be. Because remember that sports entertainment IS PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING. It's not socialism, it is simply fact.
Posted By: Troll Feeder, feeder of trolls (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 08:22 AM
Why do alot of people that like WWE have to proclaim how much indy wrestling sucks or vice versa? If a match is good a match is good whether it's in Madison Square Garden or at the Lincoln High Gym. I saw the TJ Wilson aka TJ Kidd vs Low-Ki aka Kaval match at the FCW "Arena" and it was better than about 75% of the crap I've seen on Raw or TNA this year. Like I said, good is good and crap is crap.
Posted By: Flying Dutchman (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 09:45 AM
Nice debut, I'll read regularly. Good show.
Posted By: Shaun (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 09:49 AM
lol ECW's rating actually dropped the week after Christian returned.
Posted By: Anonymous (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 10:05 AM
Another thing that bothers the IWC is the tendency of the WWE to fire guys like Goldman without even giving them the chance to get over, or by dumbing down their offense (see most of the former CW division) and then firing them after a few years when they still don't get over. In many ways, the WWF is mirroring much of TV, where programs not favored by management are put into bad timeslots and then are still expected to get good ratings, and are yanked withing months if not weeks when they don't meet expectations. I remember being incredibly frustrated a couple of years ago when a promising show called Drive didn't even last two weeks before getting pulled.
And then there is the double-standard in which McMahon forces wrestlers down our throats because of their look, certainly not because of their ability or Charisma(or lack thereof). How many times has Mark Henry gotten a main event push, despite never having a decent match? And would Snitsky have lasted as long as he did if he looked like Cabana? That is why I enjoy it when a wrestler burns McMahon by taking the push given to him by the WWE elsewhere (e.g. Lesner, Lashley).
Posted By: Michael L (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 10:15 AM
Very, very well done! Welcome to Saturdays in the wrestling section.
I've heard a lot about Colt Cabana and am upset about his release for two reasons: 1.) I didn't get to see him wrestle. 2.) I don't believe he was given enough of a chance.
As for the comment about still having guys like Hornswoggle around, if he's good for business, they should keep him. I just hate that it comes at the expense of heel Finlay that became my absolute favorite wrestler before his face turn. I hope he returns to being a heel OR he can remain a face if he would just STOP DANCING with that leprechaun! The kids will still like Hornswoggle if Finlay didn't dance with him. Also, why have The Fighting Irishman come out to such horrible music?!!
In other news, Austin vs. Jericho at Mania. Who's with me?!!
Posted By: MachoManFanStill (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 11:02 AM
Gotta love the evil clown
Posted By: Ed (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 11:26 AM
The highest average for RAW was in 1999 where for a whole year RAW 5.9.
Posted By: Rich (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 11:52 AM
Goldman's "Indie"-like demeanor and attitude does not fit WWE's current mainstream business model. That's why it is impossible for CM Punk to ever become an all-time WWE great. Vince like mainstream appeal like John Cena. WWE is not willing to risk trying anything new. This is why this year's Wrestlemania card is 85% filled with things that have already been done in the past. WM25 could easily pass as a Judgment Day PPV, only in a bigger arena with some C-list celebs.
Posted By: T (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 04:54 PM
Dear Christian
If you didn't look like Denace The Menaca and perhaps, what?, oh , yeah, bothered to lift some weights and build up your physique, maybe, just maybe, you'd get a bigger push.
Mmkaay?
Thaaanks.
Sincerely,
Your IWC homie,
Chico
Posted By: Chico (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 10:42 PM
The Decent:
Big John Studd, Iron Sheik, Jim Duggan, Jim Neidhart, Nikolai Volkoff, Kamala, Koko B. Ware
You put me in decent category?! Pray that I no find you, break your back, fuck your ass, and make you humble old country way!
Posted By: Iron Sheik (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 11:41 PM
Evil clowns are for kids?
Uh, I guess Heath Ledger is about to get a posthumous oscar for playing that goofy silly role in that kids movie he was in.
The Brain freakin' MAKES Doink, here, by the way. It really highlights how bad the announcing these days is. Heenan constantly tries to get Doink over as a sneaky jerk, not a psycho.
Like, it's one thing for a guy to dress as a clown because he's crazy. But it's way cooler and creepier for a guy to dress as a clown because he's UP TO SOMETHING.
Posted By: Guest#1272 (Guest) on February 22, 2009 at 01:18 AM
I really don't think that is irony at all...
Posted By: bella (Guest) on February 22, 2009 at 02:37 AM
"Uh, I guess Heath Ledger is about to get a posthumous oscar for playing that goofy silly role in that kids movie he was in."
No he's getting it out of sympathy/guilt. He wasn't very good in a film which was mediocre at best, what other reason could there be other than his untimely death?
Posted By: King Nikolai (Guest) on February 22, 2009 at 03:05 AM
Chris Hero sux, Colt Cabana sux. I can't wait til they retire.
Posted By: Jaked (Guest) on February 22, 2009 at 12:12 PM
Don't forget the Piper also owned a auto repair shop over on the east side of Portland called, Piper's Pit Stop. He showed up all the time on Portland Wrestling in the late 80's, hell he turned Art Barr into Beetlejuice!
Posted By: Kung Fu Janitor (Guest) on February 22, 2009 at 01:54 PM
No way the Brawl for All match at XV was the worst. Bart Gunn's knockout was awesome!
Posted By: AJP (Guest) on February 22, 2009 at 04:04 PM
great column, i'll be reading regulairly!
Posted By: Jon (Guest) on February 22, 2009 at 04:56 PM
"I contribute the increase in RAW's rating to one man and one man only..... "
You mean you attribute it to him? Sigh.
Posted By: Guest#4876 (Guest) on February 22, 2009 at 09:50 PM
tna should not be included in the "squared circle" news
Posted By: Guest#3186 (Guest) on February 23, 2009 at 10:10 AM
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