The Bell To Bell News Report 03.01.09

Posted by Randy Harrison on 03.01.2009

It's been a big week in wrestling as the WWE and TNA both continue to see their best ratings success in years and ROH tapes their first TV shows. Join The Bell to Bell as we take a look at all of the biggest news of the past seven days with plenty of questionable opinions thrown in free of charge...

Excuse me....EXCUSE ME....EXCUSE ME!!!!...Ahem, welcome to this week's edition of the Bell to Bell folks. By the time you read this I will likely be halfway through a day at Chuck E. Cheese for a birthday party and if I'm not here next week it's likely because I killed some kid that cut me in line at the ball pit. Anyhow, the past seven days have seen some interesting developments in oiled-up spandex land, though not a lot of actual news. Seeing as this is a "news" column I would normally be up a creek without a paddle, but since I cover the big shows of the week as well, that definitely came in handy to save my ass this week.

We're actually getting close to my favorite time of the year as the NHL trade deadline hits on Wednesday and that means that we're within spitting distance of the playoffs. No time is more enjoyable for a transplanted Canadian like myself than to see hours and hours of hockey on every night of the week. But you didn't come here for my thoughts on children's birthday parties or hockey (Go Red Wings) now did you? You're here for my thoughts on all the wrestling-related news you can shake a belt at so let's get to it and ring the bell for the past week, shall we?



Sunday


The Stories


So wait, The Rock and Stone Cold don't work here anymore??"

-- The week kicked off with a story that will likely not have much of an effect on the day-to-day of the Smackdown show as it's been reported that creative staff member Freddie Prinze Jr. has left the writing team for the show. Prinze was brought in to work with the writers in July of 2008 in a story that was pretty heavily discussed by the IWC at the time. Since that announcement though, Prinze has been relatively quiet and there hasn't really been any talk one way or the other about any storylines or significant contributions that he's made to the product. Apparently he hadn't been seen at a TV taping in nearly two months and when you added that to the non-impact he was making, the writing was on the wall. Apparently, the wrestlers are sad to see him go because he was a huge fan of wrestling before joining the team and my guess is that it was refreshing for the boys behind the curtain to deal with someone who actually knew the business and knew wrestling instead of what they likely get most times with guys that have little to no clue. And for those of you wondering about that picture of a glassy-eyed Prinze featured above this newsbit, it was snapped shortly after Prinze left his first meeting with the rest of the WWE writers.

-- Sunday was a big night for The Wrestler as both Mickey Rourke and Marisa Tomei were up for Academy Awards, but sadly neither was able to come through to pick up a win. Rourke lost to Sean Penn in the Best Actor category, while Tomei lost to Penelope Cruz in the Best Supporting Actress category. This doesn't really come as a surprise as Oscar tends to be a little on the snobbish side and tends to pick the safe choices rather than making any waves. I'm not suggesting that Rourke and Tomei would have somehow won if they had been in a movie called The Boxer or that Penn and Cruz didn't deserve to win their awards, but I'd bet that both Rourke and Tomei were probably set back at least a little bit by the negative stigma surrounding the wrestling business. Rourke probably didn't help himself any either by being...well, himself...in the weeks leading up to the show. Rourke is a rough-around-the-edges kind of guy and has shown that time and again during the repeated appearances during awards season. I would probably add that to the list of reasons as well as the Academy doesn't seem like the type of body to enjoy sending their votes to someone who is perceived as a bit of a flake.


What's that brother? I'm full of shit?

-- In somewhat related news, Hulk Hogan is making waves again. Last week, he was angling for the WrestleMania appearance that no one wants. This week, he caused a bit of a stir by suggesting that he was sent the scripe for The Wrestler and that he was in consideration to play the lead character of Randy "The Ram" before Mickey Rourke was cast. I find this incredibly hard to believe as Hogan doesn't have the look that was needed and he SURELY doesn't have the acting chops. I mean, anyone who's seen Mr. Nanny, Suburban Commando or any of the other shitty movies he's made can tell you that. Hogan is little more than a publicity whore who is so desperate to remain in his shred of faded spotlight that he'll spin any crock of bullshit to stay there. He needs to just go away and get his family life situated instead of constantly trying for one more grab at the brass ring. I don't know if it's one of those situations where he can't stop himself because he sadly craves being as famous and relevant as he was twenty years ago, or if it's just that his ego can't take people not talking about him constantly, but he needs to just go away. Period. If Hulk Hogan was under any serious consideration to star in that movie, then I'm just as seriously being considered to replace Daniel Craig as James Bond. I'll be sure to remember you all when I'm banging some incredibly hot Eastern European chick and thwarting an international crisis.



Monday


The Show



Monday Night Raw Results:

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: CM Punk vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison - Winner: CM Punk, Pinfall, GTS on Morrison)
Melina and Cryme Tyme vs. Beth Phoenix, Santino Marella and Dolph Ziggler - Winners: Melina and Cryme Tyme (pinfall, Shad's Thugnificant on Santino)
JBL vs. Shawn Michaels - Winner: Shawn Michaels (pinfall, Sweet Chin Music)
Jamie Noble vs. Mike Knox - Winner: Mike Knox (pinfall, Roll of the Dice)
John Cena vs. Chavo Guerrero - Winner: John Cena (submission, STF)

Monday Night Raw started off a week in wrestling that seemed to be light on matches and heavy on storyline as they continue to put the pieces into place for WrestleMania XXV in Houston. Hands down for me the best part of the show, as it has been for the past few weeks, was Chris Jericho's work on the stick. This week, Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat was the legend confronted by Jericho with the confrontation coming just moments after Steamboat was announced as the newest member of the WWE Hall of Fame's 2009 class. Jericho did the same to Steamboat as he has done to Ric Flair and Roddy Piper in past weeks, ripping "The Dragon" for being a sell-out and a hypocrite for doing all of the stuff with the fire-spitting and selling the "Karate Kid headbands". Jericho even went so far as to say that the Hall of Fame honor was little more than a loyal dog finally getting his bone. The negative reaction was off the charts and Steamboat made it three for three in terms of the legends bringing the heat right back with awesome promo work. You wouldn't expect it from Steamboat, who wasn't the best promo guy when he was active, but he completely shredded Jericho with words from the heart, calling Jericho the hypocrite for constantly turning on and embracing the fans. He also said that the old guys coming back to work with the younger stars has nothing to do with them trying to grab the spotlight, but rather them trying to give back to the business that have given them so much. Jericho came unglued when Steamboat said he'd never be in the Hall of Fame and attacked Steamboat, waffling him with the microphone before sending him into the screen on the top of the stage. When you look at Jericho, all you can think is that that man is a certified heat machine.

Week in and week out, these segments with Jericho and the legends have ben among the most compelling on television and while Jericho is great, I think I've figured out what the X factor has been in the whole angle. Jericho is being a phenomenal heel in doing what he feels like he's justified to do, but as the old saying in wrestling goes, the best storylines are usually rooted in the truth. Now Piper said last week that he was going to shoot on Jericho and I think that in actuality all of the legends are shooting on Jericho because it's how they truly feel. They don't have to think, they don't have to act, they can just react naturally and when they're playing off of a savvy veteran on the microphone like Jericho, it just sets every segment up for gold. I still don't know how they're planning to finish this angle off with the WrestleMania payoff and it might have been tweaked and changed and rewritten some from the original idea, but I have to say that out of all of the stories going into the biggest show of the year, this is by far the most intriguing of them. I'm interested and excited to see what they're going to bring out next week and if it will be able to continue to raise the bar in terms of the emotional investment the fans are being asked to make in this angle.

The rest of the show was pretty empty in terms of wrestling as I can easily say that the only match worth anything was the Michaels/JBL match and that was more by default than anything else. It wasn't an outstanding match, but it was passable enough and it was able to get us to where Shawn Michaels is one more step closer to his dream of a WrestleMania showdown with The Undertaker. The post-match bit with him and Kozlov was pretty much a big plateful of meh, though I do think that Michaels needs to come out to Real American next week after he heads down to Orlando to steal Consequences Creed's ring gear. The rest of the action was pretty bland as we had two squashes including some guy from a bus station lobby mauling Jamie Noble (they should name Knox's finisher "Can You Spare Some Change?"), a six-person tag that was pretty pointless and a Money In The Bank Qualfier where the wrong guy won. I love CM Punk, but I'm sick of the secondary titles being stuck somewhere else instead of being put into their own matches on the show. One of the greatest matches in WM history is an IC title match, and every year that passes where that championship isn't defended on the card, it comes one step closer to becoming a WrestleMania afterthought forever. That would be a real shame as there have been some classic Intercontinental matches at the show and there should be a chance for the new generation of fans to get to experience classics of their own.

The other big development from Raw was the Randy Orton/HHH segment that closed out the show. Opinions have been mixed on how this played out as some people think that it was a perfectly acceptable finish to the show, while others think that it was the wrestling equivalent of the Keystone Cops. I will say that before I get to my thoughts on the end of the show, I just want to mention that that needs to be the last sitdown, up close interview that Triple H should do. I mean, ever. His forehead looked like an old leather purse that someone took a pair of scissors to. He is going to be in line for some heavy-duty plastic surgery once he's done with wrestling because his head is looking less like a Grenwich blueblood and more like a Sudanese butcher. Moving on to the angle to end the show, I have to say that it wasn't as bad as people were making it out to be. It made sense in the sense that Triple H would be so pissed off that he would follow Orton and DiBiase all the way to their hotel if it meant getting revenge. The only things I would have changed would have been that DiBiase stayed down after taking the shot to the back and that the car had driven off slowly enough at the end to have Triple H hit it with the sledgehammer. DiBiase made it seem a little less devastating after he ran away a minute or two after taking the sledgehammer shot and that part bugged me. I know people were getting pissed that it looked like DiBiase ran off after a shot to the head, but it was actually to the upper back so it wasn't so bad. That was an issue for me, but the very end of the show bugged me even worse. Yeah, I get it that sledgehammers are heavy, but it made Triple H look like a bit of a poo-say that he couldn't throw it far enough to hit the car. I'm supposed to believe that he's full of primal rage, but he can't throw a sledgehammer ten feet to hit a car? Eh. If he had hit the car and smashed out the back window with the hammer, nearly everyone would have been creaming themselves over it.



The Stories


Maybe if I pulled my pants up a little higher, they'd like me more...

-- Monday saw the WWE make another cut to their roster as Manu was let go from the company. This comes as little shock to anyone as the writing was on the wall once Manu was booted from Randy Orton's Legacy group. When you take someone who is a little green and generic in the ring, add in some alleged backstage troubles, and blend in just a tad of creative apathy, we have the hallmark recipe for a release. That's all on top of the news that came out after his release that management was unhappy with both his work and his look. While there is probably still a little bit of heat on him with the boys for the incident that led to the revamp of how wrestlers take their Wellness Policy tests, it seems like he's managed to avoid being put into any hot water with management and that if Manu is able to put in some time on the indy circuit and improve, he'll likely be back. There's not much more that needs to be said on this as Manu will likely not be missed. Sim Snuka better be looking over his shoulder, I'll tell you that much.

-- There was also a report out of Ring of Honor on Monday that there are rumors of some "unrest" in the locker room from some of the talent. The biggest bones of contention are the new contracts, which are reportedly seeing little to no pay increases for most, as well as rumors that the health insurance that was part of those deals originally has been taken out. The thought is that since the company has money to bring in guys like Ric Flair and a TV deal has been signed, there should be more money going to the wrestlers that have built the company. While I can see where their argument is and I completely agree that they should be compensated fairly, the deal was just signed and the first episode hasn't even aired yet. There is no way that the company would be able to spend any of that money as there is no idea if this show will even be a success and continue on on HDNet. I also agree with them wondering about the Ric Flair appearance contract, but the truth of it is that any of the shows that Flair appears on will likely boost the attendance, which will help the wrestlers of ROH short-term with more house show money in their pocket and long-term with a broadening fan base. There's a lot of change going on right now with Ring of Honor, especially with all of these new deals and the new TV contract, but I think that patience is the key here. It's going to be up to the ROH heads to make sure that the talent understands that it's not a matter of them not wanting to pay what they deserve, but rather that it takes time to see dividends pay off from all of the various deals signed recently. If they're not able to do that, we could see a mass defection from the company much like the one that crippled ECW soon after their move to TNN. It will be very telling to see if Ring of Honor has learned from the mistakes of the past or whether they're seemingly doomed to repeat them.



Tuesday


The Show



ECW on Sci-Fi Results:

DJ Gabriel vs. Mark Henry - Winner: Mark Henry (pinfall, World's Strongest Slam)
Tyson Kidd vs. Matt Boyce - Winner: Tyson Kidd (pinfall, springboard elbowdrop)
Tommy Dreamer vs. Paul Burchill - Winner: Tommy Dreamer (pinfall, DDT)
ECW Championship: Christian vs. Jack Swagger (C) - Winner: Jack Swagger (pinfall, gutwrench powerbomb)

I'm going to admit it. This week's edition of ECW was heading down the road to Suckville faster than a McLaren F1 with Sasha Grey behind the wheel. After the first half hour I was bored nearly to tears by the show. The DJ Gabriel vs. Mark Henry match was terrible as they undid in three minutes what they'd been pushing for months with Henry just kicking the shit out of the gay bandito to hand him his first loss. Tyson Kidd showed up again, squashing another local jobber and looking impressive while doing it. The only problem is that it's getting repetitive and the next stop after repetitive is for it to start getting old. If they don't find a program for him soon, all of the work that they're doing to make him look good with the jobbers is going to go to waste as people won't give a shit about him when the chips are down. That led to the Tommy Dreamer/Paul Burchill match and while I'm glad that Tommy is starting to look a little better and that he actually picked up the win here, it is pretty much meaningless. Considering that the last time Burchill meant a damn was when he was a pirate, Tommy getting a pinfall over him and an assisted pinfall no less, was pretty useless. When you add in that virtually all of these matches were three minutes or less, it makes the first half-hour of the show easily the biggest pile of worthless crap out of all of the televised shows this week. The only redeeming thing of it all was Striker's "Tree of 'Whoa' " reference during the Dreamer/Burchill match. Joey Lawrence FTW every time.

I was all ready to shit over this entire show. I really was. My fingers were itching to type sentence after sentence ripping ECW to shreds for everything that they did wrong in their sixty minutes this week. Then came the main event. I said last week that I questioned why they were going to go with the Christian/Thwagger match and if they were going to have Thwagger continue his mini-losing streak. However, I'm more than willing to admit that I have to eat crow after seeing them tear it down for almost twenty minutes with the ECW Championship on the line. This one was a great match as they built it slowly and logically before heading to a fast and frantic finish where Thwagger came out just that little bit ahead to barely retain the belt. I am begging for these guys to end up getting a real title match at WrestleMania and for that match to get as much time as this match did. That was the only thing that made me sad once it was all said and done. They made this match seem so special that if they do manage to get a match against each other at WrestleMania it will likely only pale in comparison. If that ends up being where Christian picks up the title win, it will feel a little devalued to me unless they're able to bring it in a match much like this match ended up being. Easy, EASY early candidate for Match of The Year for me and I think that unless something huge happens in the rest of the year this one could win Free TV Match of The Year in a walk. Everything worked in this one from the feeling out process in the beginning to the finish of the match to the crowd being hot as hell, to Striker telling every aspect of the story on color commentary. Bravo ECW, bravo.



The Stories

-- The WWE released their quarterly report on Tuesday, but since I'm not exactly what you could call a "numbers guy", I'll let the always capable JP Prag handle that side of things as he did quite well in his "Hamilton Ave. Journal" this week. Suffice to say that the numbers are down in terms of the money the company is bringing in and the buyrates for their pay-per-view shows, but that's to be expected in light of everyone's tough economic times as of late.



-- The match listing was released for the upcoming Randy Savage 3-disc DVD set on Tuesday and while there's some quality matches on here, there's also a lot of repeat material from the previous anthology sets that are out there. I'm wondering what in the hell a match with Brunno Sammartino from 1987 is doing on there as Bruno was way out of it by then, but there's a couple of nuggets of win in the list as well, especially if the Savage/DiBiase cage match from MSG is the one I'm remembering. I saw one between them on the Classics show on the MSG network this summer and if that's the one then it's a great match. There's even a crazed fan climbing up on the cage to try to help Savage after Virgil and DiBiase try to double-team him near the top of the structure. I'm also interested to see the Savage/Michaels title match and the tag match directly after it with Savage and Bret Hart taking on Michaels and Ric Flair. That's four of the greatest in the history of the business right there so, even if the match isn't all that great, it's still a piece of history that people will be able to look back on twenty years from now. Think of it as a wrestling time capsule.


I'm so Great, I can see the future...choke on that one Crosby!!

-- The WWE announced the location for WrestleMania XXVI on Tuesday and the lucky city is Glendale, AZ and the lucky venue is the University of Phoenix stadium, which will host the event on March 28, 2010. The stadium seats upwards of 63,000 people, but that can be expanded to over 72,000 depending on the configuration for the event. It's safe to say that there will be a huge crowd on hand in a warm-weather city like Glendale for the event and that there will be the usual buzz surrounding the event as there always is. It will be hard for the WWE to top this year's event as they're in a wrestling hot-bed and have a ton of guys with Texas connections going into the Hall of Fame, but the event is still over a year away so anything could happen between now and then. I'm not saying it's going to be a bad WrestleMania because that would make no sense, I'm merely saying that they'll have their work cut out for them. I'm also happy to report to all of the residents of the Phoenix area that there is no truth to the report that Pittsburgh's Heinz Field is making plans to steal the event at the last minute. What, too soon?

-- Also from the land of the formerly known as Titan, the WWE was able to toot their own horn again with another strong week of ratings for their flagship prgoram Monday Night Raw. The show scored hours of 3.93 and 4.27 to do a 4.1 rating for the second week in a row. The ratings always seem to pick up a little bit before WrestleMania as people get ready for the biggest show of the year, but this is the biggest pre-WM boost the company has had since back in the waning days of the Attitude boom. It will be interesting to see if these people choose to stick around after Mania to continue the ratings boost or if this is merely a bump due to the timing and if the ratings will go back to sliding soon after the company has packed their gear out of Reliant Stadium in Houston.



Wednesday


The Stories


Just call me "DJ"...

-- Starz premium movie channel sent out a press release to let everyone know that they're offering up a night with Dwayne Johnson, the artist formerly known as The Rock. Before anyone gets too excited, this isn't a ODB-style set-up so put down your video cameras. Instead, it's merely going to be Rocky hosting three Disney movies including The Gameplan while showing clips of his new movie Race To Witch Mountain, which opens on March 13th. I would be remiss if I didn't point out the humor in someone like The Rock, who gained a lot of his fame from telling people to stick things up their asses, is seemingly becoming Mr. Disney with this latest appearance and his new movie. I guess a lot of the people that work there aren't very familiar with wrestling. All jokes aside, The Rock has carved himself out a very nice Hollywood career and I don't understand all of the hate he seems to get for not wanting to come back to wrestling. He put in his time, he spent years on the road killing himself on house show runs and he got out to do something more lucrative before the business could chew him up and spit him out. I agree that his head has probably gotten a little bigger since he's been in Hollywood (who would have ever thought THAT was possible), but it's silly to expect him to give up everything he's worked hard for to go back to a place where he's done everything that could ever be done.

-- The sad story involving Verne Gagne made news again this week as the coroner in Hennepin County in Minnesota has officially ruled the case as a homicide. The coroner's report says that the victim, Helmut Gutmann died of complications that arose from a broken hip that was suffered when he was pushed to the floor in his rest home on January 26th. Gutmann's wife says that her husband was thrown to the floor by Gagne, though no one can say for certain what the disagreement between the two men was or if the wife's version of events (especially the throwing) can be verified at this time. The Bloomington police department are still investigating and it's unknown what charges, if any, Gagne will be facing. This story just continues to be sadder and sadder the further it goes on. I wouldn't expect Gagne to face any charges from this as it appears that both men suffer from dementia, but it's just a terrible way to end the story of one of wrestling's first true stars and one of the best promoters the business has ever seen.

-- The Hartford Courant reported on Wednesday that Linda McMahon has been approved by the Connecticut state's House of Representatives to serve on the Connecticut Board of Education. The final vote was registered as 96-45, with many of the higher-ranking members of the House voting against McMahon. Those high-ranking members included co-chairs of the education committee, the higher education committee and the House Majority Leader. Not a good sign going in when most of the people who are above you on the food chain don't want you around. I'm not sure if this was based on McMahon's wrestling background, her lack of experience for the position, party politics, or a combination of the three, but there was certainly a little bit of bias against wrestling when Rep. Jack Thompson stated the following;

"It seems to me that we're sending the wrong message to people - that violence is all right,'' said Thompson. "It's the wrong message. I grew up with a professional wrestler. He lived behind me. We were great friends. At one point, he was Sinbad the Sailor when he was the bad guy. ... When people are jumping off ropes onto other people, it sends the wrong message to children.''

To that and to Mr. Thompson, I would merely say that it's 2009 and there are WAY more violent things than professional wrestling. I mean, people can go onto the internet and see beheadings and stonings from halfway around the world. That's not even mentioning all of the violence in movies, other TV, the news, etc. and so forth. I would have no problem with someone voicing their disagreement based on the belief that someone isn't right for the job, but when it's little more than an argument based on antiquated views of professional wrestling, it comes off as a cheap shot. Even the company themselves have admitted that the violence is pretend, so I think it would be nice to see Mr. Thompson get off of his high horse and join the rest of us in reality.



Thursday


The Show



TNA Impact Results:

The Beautiful People vs. Madison Rayne and Taylor Wilde - Winners: The Beautiful People (pinfall, Sky's Beautiful Backstabber on Wilde)
TNA World Tag Team Championship: (Off The Wagon Challenge) The Rock and Rave Infection vs. Beer Money Inc. (C) - Winners: Beer Money Inc. (pinfall, Storm's beltshot on Rock)
Rahka Kahn and Sojournor Bolt vs. Raisha Saeed and Awesome Kong - Winners: Rahka Kahn and Sojournor Bolt (pinfall, Bolt's backslide on Kahn)
TNA X-Division Championship Ladder Match: Chris Sabin vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Alex Shelley (C) - Winner: Alex Shelley

Impact came back after their most successful week ever and it was a show that mainly talk with not a lot of action. I mean there were only four matches in total on the show and there was a point in the middle of the broadcast where there was nearly an hour that passed between matches. As has been with most weeks lately, the show was centered around the Main Event Mafia and the turmoil between Sting and Kurt Angle. After last week's empty arena fight between the two men, the entire show centered around whether Sting and Kurt Angle would be facing off against each other in the main event of Destination X. Jeff Jarrett decided (against the wishes of Nash, Steiner and Booker) that they would indeed face off for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship and that they would sign the contract at the end of the night. The time came and after some tense moments and some prodding from Jeff Jarrett, Kurt Angle signed the contract and laid out Jarrett with the clipboard. Mick Foley came down to try to make the save, but instead ended up getting his ass handed to him before Sting showed up on the scene with his trusty baseball bat. Sting absolutely WAFFLED Angle with the bat before helping up Foley and Jarrett before signing the contract to make the match official. Based on how the fight last week went, this might not be a five-star mat classic, but with the way this match has been built, it damn sure has a chance to be entertaining. That's something I never thought I'd say heading into it

There was another edition of the "Off The Wagon" challenge this week as well, as Beer Money Inc. put their titles on the line against Lance Rock and Jimmy Rave. As I said during the Impact report, a little bit of the enjoyment of this match was sucked out for me by knowing that Rock was already gone from TNA as I try my best to avoid the spoilers. That being said, it was easily one of the best matches I've ever seen out of Rock and Rave, making me wonder where that kind of effort was for the months beforehand. If Rock had shown these kinds of flashes when he was actually on Impact week in and week out, he might have avoided the pink slip. I love this Off the Wagon stuff, just like I love everything that Beer Money does, but I have to say that there's going to be issues with this down the line. Last week, Beer Money looked like they were barely able to beat a thrown together team of Petey Williams and Eric Young, while this week they ended up nearly being beaten by a tag team that hasn't been seen on Impact in what feels like months. As much as it's giving them a way to get rid of some of the talent on the roster, it's also making the champs look a little bit like chumps as they are just squeaking out wins over teams that should be well below them on the ladder. That would be my only gripe with the whole thing really, but it's still a pretty big gripe.

The main event of the show (before the contract signing I mean), was a four-way ladder match for the X-Division Championship featuring the Motor City Machine Guns and Lethal Consequences. That was a fun way to finish the wrestling action on the show for me as it was four spot guys in a spot match. Nothing more and nothing less, just some good old flippy fun. They even managed to make some of the spots that were old seem new and some of the new spots seem fantastic, which is hard to do in this day and age since the ladder match has been done to death. In the end, Shelley retained and looked strong before Suicide came in and cleaned house on everyone. He eventually laid the belt out on Shelley and disappeared, but not before whetting my appetite for a possible appearance by Suicide in the Ultimate X match scheduled for Destination X. Daniels is gold in that type of match-up and I am sincerely hoping that they have him win the title and unmask to reveal himself as the true Fallen Angel, Christopher Daniels. That would be a true mark moment for me, but if I know TNA, they'll find a way to either screw it up or make it a hundred times more convoluted than it needs to be. It's written itself, so now all TNA has to do is follow it through.

Samoa Joe came back again this week, finding Scott Steiner in his locker room and holding him hostage with what looked like a lawnmower blade. He threatened Steiner and told him that he was coming to get him amongst other things. I'm not going to say that it was an inconsequential segment, but it just showed how much I dislike TNA sometimes as they essentially acted like there wasn't a large Samoan who had just held a knife to the throat of a large marble-mouthed Michiganite or whatever those people are called. After Pillman pulled a gun on Austin, it was all anyone on WWF TV could talk about for weeks on end, but when Samoa Joe nearly goes all "Allah akbar" on Steiner, it doesn't even get a mention IN THE SAME BROADCAST! I honestly don't think it was brought up once more, which makes absolutely no sense and takes away any of the impact that the moment could have possibly had. Just silly on about a hundred different levels.

One of the biggest moments that everyone was talking about after Impact didn't come in the ring or in the locker room, but at the announce table as Don West totally LOST HIS SHIT and cut a vicious heel promo on fellow announcer Mike Tenay after Tenay apparently stood by while TNA executives decided West's fate. He ripped Tenay a new one and then walked off, leaving Classy Mike to finish the show by himself. I'm not sure where it's going, but it's hopefully not the build to some sort of match between Tenay and West. We've already seen the whole "feuding announcers" deal in the WWE and it wasn't any good then when we had to watch Coach and Al Snow take on J.R. and Jerry Lawler. This would be even worse because there wouldn't be two guys like Snow and Lawler who are experienced in the ring. That means it would be just as bad as watching a match between J.R. and Coach. Yeah, I'll let that sink in for a moment. People have also been saying that they hope that it's a way to get Don West off of the show for a while and while I agree that he and Tenay are a little heavy-handed in their announcing (especially talking when there doesn't need to be any during moments where quiet tension would work best) they're the voices of TNA and anything else will likely sound unnatural. The only way I'd be behind a move is if they put Cornette at the desk next to Tenay because Cornette with a chip on his shoulder and a live-ish mic equals must-see TV.



The Stories

-- TNA made big news on Thursday by taking their multimedia library digital. During Thursday's Impact show, there were numerous ads pimping TNA's new deal with iTunes that will see the company allow fans to download episodes of Impact as well as certain TNA Home Video titles through the iTunes store. There is also free original programming at the iTunes store as well as TNA Spin Cycle is now available and soon there will be web-exclusive matches and post-Impact footage ready for free downloading. This is a huge boost for TNA as they're actually ahead of the WWE for once when it comes to new media. The WWE has had music up for download in the past, but as far as I can tell or remember, they have never offered up any of their programming content to the digital distributor. I am a big fan of this move as it gives the opportunity for TNA to be seen by a lot more eyes. I have to give TNA their props for this one. I've been critical of some of their deals in the past including their video game license, but in this instance they got it right and got it right big time.



-- Sad news on the TNA front as well as Shark Boy posted that he was unfortunate enough to lose his home to a fire while he was in Orlando for the recent batch of Impact tapings. Luckily, he was out of the home and there was no one injured, but his entire supply of merchandise was destroyed. Given that he's not a big-name star in TNA, that merchandise was likely a huge help for him when it came to alternate sources of income to supplement his TNA salary. Hopefully, Sharky was smart enough to have insurance on the house and everything else and he'll be back up on his feet again soon. I know I speak for myself and likely everyone here at 411 when I wish him the best. Admirably, Sharky is planning on honoring all of his existing bookings even in the face of such adversity. That's a man that loves the business right there, and I salute him.

-- The revolving door of the June WWE PPV finally came to a stop on Thursday. The event formerly known as ECW One Night Stand, formerly known as One Night Stand, formerly known as Extreme Rules, formerly known as Night of Extreme, is now BACK to being called Extreme Rules. I really don't think it matters what they call it though as it's probably going to tank like no one's business. The main reason people bought it before was because it was a nostalgia trip. Now it's just like everything else the WWE offers up so there's no hook. Expect the buyrate on this one to drop about the same as the rest of them. I mean, I know I'm not going to rush out and purchase it with my remote just because they've changed the name. You'd think that someone in the WWE would know that it doesn't matter what the hell they call it. If it's a good show people will buy it, if it's not, they won't. You know, for being the number one wrestling company in the world, they still manage to look like bumbling clowns from time to time.



Friday


The Show



Friday Night Smackdown Results:

WWE Tag Team Championship: John Morrison and The Miz vs. Primo and Carlito Colon (C) - Winners: Primo and Carlito Colon (pinfall, Carlito's Backstabber on Morrison)
Vladimir Kozlov vs. The Undertaker - Winner: Vladimir Kozlov (pinfall, powerslam)
Shelton Benjamin vs. Chavo Guerrero - Winner: Chavo Guerrero (pinfall, roll-up)
John Cena vs. The Big Show - Winner: The Big Show (pinfall, Chokeslam)

Most weeks I tend to write this column as the shows happen so that when it comes to the end of the week, I only have to input a few final thoughts and some last-minute news stories that I feel like talking about. That being said, I spoke earlier of the ECW Championship match from Tuesday likely being the easy winner of Free TV Match of The Year. That was until I saw Smackdown on Friday. Granted, I've always been a bigger sucker for tag team wrestling than just about anything, but the bout between the Colons and Miz and Morrison brought me back to the days of the Midnight Express, the Rock n' Roll Express, The Fantastics, The Road Warriors, Blanchard and Anderson and all of those great teams in the 80's. This was by far one of the best tag team matches that the WWE has put on in quite some time and I'm shocked in saying that because I've never been a big fan of the Colons' work. All four guys worked their asses off, the match built beautifully, the heat sequences were great and the finish fit in with the way the match was put together. Solid, solid work here and I enjoyed every minute of it. It's just a shame that through three brands the WWE has maybe four tag teams that are capable of putting on these kinds of matches and that's stretching it.

Moving on to the rest of the show, the night saw John Cena challenge Edge, but end up taking on the Big Show, playing off of their interactions on Monday Night Raw. The bout itself was a solid heavyweight encounter and a match that saw me enjoy a Big Show match more than I have in quite some time. I'm not sure if that was Cena's doing or not, but he's a guy that seems to be able to have passable to good matches with everyone and great matches with a select few, so I would tend to think it's him. It also did well to further the Edge/Cena conflict as seemingly the only reason that Show was able to hit the Punch of Doom and the finishing Chokeslam was because of the distraction that the Rated PG Superstar provided for him. Honestly, speaking of Edge, I would love to see that whole WWE PG Initiative turning into a deal with Edge constantly trying to push the envelope to keep his "Rated R" status. Call me crazy, but I think it would be something fun to do with him once the WrestleMania buzz dies down a bit.

The rest of the show saw some storyline progression but the action just kind of fell flat for me. The shocker was Vladimir Kozlov beating The Undertaker and while I question the sense in having The Undertaker take a pin this close to WrestleMania with his streak on the line, I get why they did it. They needed to have Kozlov seem like a legitimate threat to Taker and they also needed to give Kozlov some momentum heading into his bout with Shawn Michaels on Raw next Monday. The match itself was pretty much ripped to shreds by the commercial break which meant that it wasn't the most enjoyable thing in the world, but it still served its purpose moving forward as we head into the homestretch of the push to WrestleMania. With that being said, I'm sorry but I just can't buy into Vladimir Kozlov. I'm not sure whether it's his look or the fact that he's still kind of green in the ring, but I just don't get it. Every time I see him in the ring he reminds me of a guy like Mike Knox or Kane or someone in that they're a serviceable big man but shouldn't be anywhere near the main event. Throwing Kozlov into big time matches and having him fight for title shots and ending Taker's streak right out of the gate makes it all the more obvious that the guy is in way over his head. That's just my take on it.

I spoke last week about what a mistake it would be if Smackdown featured Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy on free TV and that they were hopefully going to use it as a schmozz to further the feud to the logical WrestleMania family feud. Thankfully, that's what they ended up doing as the whole thing turned into a promo with Matt begging Jeff to fight him kind of like how the whole Undertaker/Kane thing went into WrestleMania 14. The whole segment was fantastic as they fought with their words in the way that only brothers could. Matt tried as desperately as he could to drag Jeff down to his level, but Jeff was the bigger man and just walked away from it, much to the approval of the crowd. I'd expect this thing to make a couple of big dips between this week and WrestleMania with Matt continuing to try to goad Jeff into a match. I'm not sure what's finally going to be the tipping point in that one, but it's going to be fun going along for the ride to find out.

The Stories

-- I forgot all about mentioning TNA's rating last week and it just completely slipped my mind. I won't make that mistake again though and I'm happy to report that TNA continued their big week with another success in the ratings as for the second straight week, they scored a 1.3 rating which is their highest rating ever. Unfortunately for TNA, the amount of total viewers dropped from last week's record of 1.9 million down to a still-respectable 1.7 million. It's funny to think that the show is having its greatest success ratingswise while the quality of the shows is somewhat questionable and hit and miss from week to week. This week's episode was heavy on the backstage drama and promo work and light on the wrestling yet it still did well in the ratings. It will be up to TNA to decide if people are slowly catching on to the product or if there are full-on changes coming that will see the show become more talk and less action. My hope is that they don't do anything rash based on two weeks of ratings and that they stay the course in trying to feature promos as well as the top notch in-ring action that we expect to see from TNA when they go all-out. If it goes to a more talk format, they'll lose their hook and likely lose fans out of their base, which will just drag the rating back down to the normal level.


"THE ONLY REASON I DIDN'T DO IT WAS FOR GOD JESUS AND MR. MACKMAN"

-- Last week we had the disturbing story of Chyna's new porno release which was beyond frightening. This week, yet another sign of the apocalypse, but at least it's one that I'll enjoy before the end comes. Apparently, former WWF Champion The Iron Sheik has signed a three-year licensing deal with a company to produce iPhone applications. Sheik has gained notoriety in the past few years for conducting some of the craziest shoot interviews in the history of the sport, while making appearances on Howard Stern's show as well. I am almost afraid to think about that kind of apps they're going to make with Sheiky baby's visage, but I will also admit that the prospect of being able to go to a movie theater and have "Break his back..fuck him in the ass...make him humble..old country way" blaring out of my phone would be almost reason enough for me to buy an iPhone. You've got to hand it to Sheik though, as he's managing to stay in the spotlight by being absolutely batshit insane, which is tough to sustain without people getting tired of the act.



Saturday


The Stories

-- In an almost fitting way to end the week considering the lack of big stories, there's hardly anything worth talking about for Saturday. There's little stuff like Dwayne Johnson hosting Saturday Night Live next Saturday and tonight being Ring of Honor's first set of tapings for their HDNet show, but there's not a lot else out there. I guess there could be something to be said about the Mick Foley interview that saw him say that he's not going to announce his retirement again after he retired in 2000 and then made his return shortly after. If that's the way that Mick was going to treat his retirement, it makes you wonder why he even bothered with it to begin with. He was one of those guys that went on and on about how once he retired it was going to stick and that was going to be it, but he just keeps coming back for more including his recent TNA stint. Yep, that's about it really. Sigh.


Anyhow, that does it for me this week. If I'm not in county lock-up for kidicide, I'll be back next week and I'll have more of my thoughts on what's happening on the road to WrestleMania as well as well as everything from Orlando as TNA barrels towards Destination X in just two weeks. Until then folks, take care, stay safe and have fun. You never know when the ending will come.



If you're a fan of MMA, be sure to check out Nokaut.com for more of my work.