411Mania's Squared Circle News Report 03.21.09

Posted by Dustin James on 03.21.2009

Join me this week in the Squared Circle as I discuss the unfortunate death of Andrew "Test" Martin, Howard Finkel going into the WWE Hall of Fame, and John Cena "calling out" The Rock!......

Welcome back inside the Squared Circle! I have been a very busy man the last few days so I must apologize for the shortness of this report. That's what happens when one has 2 jobs and then "March Madness" has to go and start. Seriously, I have watched over 9-10 hours of straight NCAA basketball since the tournament started and I love it! My bracket hasn't been so good thus far, but as long as Louisville can end up taking the whole thing I should have no problem winning some money at the end of this whole shebang.

Well, let's get this out of the way so I can continue to watch some more awesome NCAA action....


LET'S GET IT ON!!!!!

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Biggest News Of The Week:




Andrew "Test" Martin Found Dead At 33


Tragedy hits the squared circle again.....

Of course by now everyone has heard this news, but I have yet to comment on it and now it's my turn. It's hard for me to say this, but Martin's death doesn't exactly shock me. I knew about his history of drug abuse and I knew the guy was on something, I was just hoping that the man would get some help before the worst could happen. For those of you interested in some of the details regarding his death, here they are courtesy of The Wrestling Observer:

Martin is believed to have passed away on 3/12, a day earlier than most published reports and the day before he was discovered. Amy Patterson, a neighbor who didn't know him or that he was a pro wrestler, looked out of the balcony of her third floor apartment that night to the Harbor Island Apartments, a high-end group of waterfront condos next door, and saw through open blinds what she thought was a man, not moving, and in a very awkward position.

"His feet were flat on the ground and he was on the sofa, and he was completely back," she said. Aside from thinking how uncomfortable it appeared he would be sleeping in that position, she didn't give it another thought.

The next night, when looking out her balcony again, she saw the man was in the exact same position.

"I kept thinking, `I hope he gets up,' because I could tell he was young and I thought, `I hope he's okay.' But I just knew in my heart he just wasn't."

Patterson called Tampa police at about 8 p.m. on 3/13. The police rushed to the scene. They used a ladder to get to Martin's balcony, and then entered the apartment through an open window, and found Martin dead. There was no sign of trauma or foul play. They found a significant amount of prescription pain killers in both his kitchen and his bathroom, as well as a variety of steroids, neither of which should have come as much of a surprise.

He likely passed away while eating dinner the night before. Police found a half eaten pizza and a partially full glass of soda next to his body. They also found in his wallet some Blockbuster video cards with the name Barbara Blank (Kelly Kelly).

Yikes. What a tragic story for the Martin family, fans of "Test", and anyone who cared for the man. I myself was actually a pretty big "Test" fan back in his first run with the company. I loved his "Love her or Leave her" match with Shane McMahon at Summerslam. My interest in the man declined once he hit the WWE's "glass ceiling" and went from feuding with HHH to teaming with Albert. However, it didn't take long for me to remember how much potential he had once he became a member of "The Un-Americans", a stable which I personally loved that had way too short of a run. It doesn't matter which way you slice it, another wrestler is dead at a young age due to drug abuse and I have to once again pose the question....why?

That's really all I got to say on the subject......

RIP Andrew "Test" Martin

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Howard Finkel To Be Inducted Into WWE Hall of Fame


"The Fink" is going to the hall....

PWInsider.com is reporting that Howard Finkel is going to be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame this year. All I can really say on the subject is it's about DAMN TIME! Growing up as a WWE fan in the 1980's, Howard Finkel was THE voice of the WWE. He was so good at his job that anyone who was a ring announcer anywhere else "sucked" in my young eyes. It didn't even matter if it was Gary Michael Cappeta. To me, Finkel made any event mean that much more. That actually still holds up to this day. I can still remember in the "old" days of the WWE when the microphone would drop from the ceiling ala Ken Kennedy style and there was Finkel getting ready to announce. A hall of fame induction is something that is much deserving for a man who is widely credited as being the first employee hired by the WWE. Good job WWE, the hall of fame just got a little more meaningful with this induction because in my eyes, Finkel will always be my Einhorn.

The only thing that would make this news any better is if Finkel was inducted by this man.....


Harvey F'N Wippleman!

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John Cena Doesn't Plan On Quitting Wrestling, Unlike "The Rock"


Can you honestly see this man winning an Oscar?

John Cena recently made an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live and during the appearance Cena reportedly mentioned that even if he was to win an Oscar, he would never leave wrestling like Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson did. First of all, can you say "bullshit?". And second of all, Cena will never touch the popularity of The Rock as far as the mainstream world is concerned. Remember when The Rock appeared on SNL years ago and got a massive crowd reaction? Well, remember when Cena did the same thing on SNL just days ago and nobody in the crowd acknowledged him? That just goes to show you the difference in popularity between Cena and The Rock. The reason The Rock became such a huge star was because wrestling was so huge in the mainstream back then and movie studios were actually asking for the guy after they were impressed with his performance in "The Mummy". Cena does movies that are backed by the WWE that won't even get the man an Oscar invitation much less a nominee.

And as far as the "bullshit" comment goes. Cena would be the stupidest man on the planet if he didn't quit wrestling to pursue acting full-time if he was doing the gigs The Rock has done. The Rock makes more money, doesn't travel near as much, and is much healthier as an actor. The wrestling business is a tough one and if Cena ever did hit the popularity that The Rock has achieved, I would bet my mortgage that he would at least become a part-time wrestler if not walk away completely. But will Cena ever hit the popularity that The Rock has achieved? For some reason, I highly doubt it.

And as far as conspiracy theorists go, there are some people saying that Cena has planted the seeds for a possible "dream match" with "The Rock" at a future Wrestlemania seeing as he kind of called the man out on National TV. I really don't think that was Cena's intent, I just think he knows where his future is and that is in a wrestling ring and not as a leading man in Disney Movies.

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Remember This Guy???

In this feature I will profile a WWE or WCW gimmick of the 1980's and 1990's that didn't last very long.




Big Bully Busick

Man oh man, I don't know how to explain this one. For some reason, as a child I became a huge fan of Big Bully Busick during his short run with the WWE in 1991. I really think it was because his mustache was hella awesome because I'm pretty sure the WWE's intent with his character wasn't too appeal to 11 year old boy's. Either way, Bully had a very short and very unsuccessful run with the WWE and then left the company for a reason that escapes me right now.

On a side note, it's rather hilarious that this is the second time that Harvey Wippleman has made an appearance in my column. Will he appear again? Let's hope not....

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Random News Bits:

- In what should be considered FANTASTIC news for TNA, the latest episode of Impact scored it's highest rating yet with a 1.34. Is TNA actually starting to pick up some steam? Stay tuned.....

- During a recent interview while in the Philippines, Dave Batista revealed that he plans on wrestling only one more year before officially calling it quits. He also mentions that he plans to finish his career strong. It's a shame that Batista got started in his career so late because I would have loved to have seen what a younger Batista would have been able to do back in the day. Either way, I fully expect him to wrestle longer than just one more year. It is the wrestling business.

- The Sci-Fi Channel will apparently be undergoing a name change to the "SyFy Channel". In related news I still won't watch it....

- Tyson Tomko was released this week after another short stint with the WWE. I don't understand all the love for Tomko, but this comes from a man who doesn't watch a lot of TNA and was in attendance for that horrible Tomko/Stevie Richards match that won "Worst Match of the Year" a few years ago. Remember that thing? Sheeeeesh!

- The WWE contacted Ashley Massaro about working the Diva Battle Royal at Wrestlemania, but she has declined the offer. Wendi Richter has also decided not to work the show as well. OK, now I need someone to tell me why this would be considered bad news?

- WWE is currently working on a DVD piece entitled "The Rise and Fall of WCW". Consider me excited! I love the idea of this DVD and have been clamoring for it for years. While it may be 5 years too late, I will still purchase it and sit back and laugh as the WWE re-writes WCW's history. Let's just hope we get some mention of The York Foundation and PN News!

- I hate to give people even more bad news, but apparently Big Vision Entertainment will be releasing a DVD, which is set to focus on former WWE Divas Joy Giovanni and Amy Weber wrestling each other. If anyone actually buys this thing, do society a favor and disappear.

- TNA has officially signed "The Governor" to a contract sparking an outrage amongst unemployed people all over the country who just had to ask....."REALLLLLY????".

- American Gladiators has been officially canceled. Did anyone really like that show besides the hotness that was Gina Carano? Mmmmmm Gina.....

- Speaking of MMA, it was announced that Bobby Lashley will be facing Jason Guida on March 21. For those of you unfamiliar with Guida, he is the "troubled" brother of UFC fighter Clay Guida. If Lashley means anything in MMA, he should be able to defeat Guida without much problem. We shall see.......

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Saturday Morning Story-Time:

In this section I will be taking a TRUE story that is wrestling related as well as related to myself and sharing it with you. These will be short stories, so have no fear!

So here it is, my big Wrestlemania 19 story. First, let me give you a little background on the story. My birthday happens to fall on Wrestlemania sometime. It just so happens that Wrestlemania 19 fell on my birthday and it also happened to be the closest that Wrestlemania has ever been to where I live....so my girlfriend did the greatest thing ever and bought me a hotel room and 5 tickets to Wrestlemania in Seattle! Hell to the yeah! I was FINALLY going to attend a Wrestlemania! I couldn't contain my excitement, which is unusual because I'm usually not excited about going to Washington (screw you Huskies!).

Either way, it was time for the Seattle trip so we all squeezed into my friend's car and headed up North. I think my girlfriend wasn't thinking straight when she booked the hotel because she booked one room with two huge beds for 4 guys (who would be drinking the whole trip....hey we were only 22!) and herself. Let's just say that by the time we left, that room must have smelled like a damn gas factory. Seriously, you would open the door and would just get hit square in the nose by a collection of ass. It was horrible and I still feel sorry for her to this day. The night before Wrestlemania we were sitting around drinking and preparing our Wrestlemania signs. At the time I was pretty simple and just made a "Die Jeff Hardy Die" sign as well as a "Shelton Benjamin is God" sign. Man, I was SOOOOO COOOL!!! I guess it really doesn't matter what my signs said because my buddy Jeff had a sign that looked awfully close to this......



Seriously....by the time morning came around he sobered up and didn't want to take the sign but after being up for about an hour and downing a few beers, he was proudly waving the sign at the Canadian chicks across the street who woke us up by yelling random wrestling chants like "YOU SCREWED BRET!!!". When it was finally time to head to the big show we grabbed our signs, packed in his car and headed for SafeCo field. Needless to say the placed was PACKED but we were now officially all drunk so it didn't really matter anymore. Before the show my buddy Jeff decided to be THAT guy who gets drunk and yells dumb random things. Some dude was walking down the aisle wearing a Booker T t-shirt and was pointing at it proudly. Well, for some reason this angered my drunken buddy who responded by yelling out "HHH is going to LICK Booker T's ass!" Personally, I knew what my friend was trying to say...but the surrounding rows around us looked at us amazed and I'm pretty sure they all moved at least three extra inches away from us.

Finally the matches kicked off with some Sunday Night Heat action. It was during Heat where learned the first good piece of news for the night.....Nathan Jones was NOT wrestling on the card. Yay!! Wrestlemania 19 was starting off to be pretty damn sweet! Well, after hours and hours of GREAT wrestling matches (HHH/Booker, Jericho/Michaels, Team Angle/Los Guerreros/Benoit & Rhyno) it was finally main event time. It was finally time for LESNAR vs. ANGLE! Now, I don't need to remind you that at the time I was the BIGGEST Kurt Angle fan. I hate bobbleheads with a passion, but I own a Kurt Angle one. That's how big of a fan I was! I know, it's a damn shame and I'm disappointed in myself for owning the damn thing.

Now, back to the match. I can't tell you how excited I was to finally get to see Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle. I was waiting in anticipation for MONTHS for this match and it was finally going to go down. The match itself was pretty good and by now my voice was gone thanks to my constant screaming. I was kind of hoping the show would just end so I could get something to eat due to the fact I wasn't willing to pay $10 for a hot dog. Seriously, all I could think about was a Big Mac meal at McDonald's when it finally happened.....

The moment I had been waiting for for over two years.......

What was it? Find out next week as my wacky Wrestlemania 19 adventure comes to an end........

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Wrestlemania Top 10 Lists:



With Wrestlemania right around the corner, every Saturday I will present you with a special Wrestlemania-themed top 10 list. Trust me, it will be good times!


Top 10 "Coolest" Celebrities That Have Attended Wrestlemania

(Wrestlemania is known for it's celebrity involvement every year, but who are the "coolest" celebrities that have ever attended a Wrestlemania? I'm not talking about the actual performance the celebrity put on, but the actual celebrity involved. Last week I brought you the worst celebrities in Wrestlemania history....so let's see who makes the cut here!)

This list is in no particular order......


10) Mr. T

Mr. T was the man in the 80's and his Wrestlemania appearances helped make the WWE more mainstream.

9) Lawrence Taylor

Taylor is the only celebrity who has ever main evented a Wrestlemania and he did a pretty good job at it as well. His win over Bam Bam Bigelow at Wrestlemania 11 is legendary.

8) Muhammad Ali

Muhammad Ali is/was/always will be THE MAN. His appearance as a guest referee in the main event of Wrestlemania 1 was huge for the WWE.

7) Pete Rose

Not only was the WWE able to get Rose to attend three Wrestlemania's, but he also got physically involved in the action with the likes of Rikishi....and of course, Kane.

6) Mike Tyson

Mike Tyson was a HUGE score for the WWE in the late-90's. He made the Shawn Michaels/Steve Austin match even more intriguing than it already was. One thing that will always haunt me is seeing Tyson doing DX crotch chops...that was just scary.

5) Reggie White

Reggie White was a bad ass football player and he was a bad ass wrestling manager as well. Just ask Lawrence Taylor.

4) Jenny McCarthy

I had a massive crush on McCarthy when she was on MTV's "Singled Out" and I thought she was even hotter as a valet for Shawn Michaels.

3) Burt Reynolds

Of course Burt Reynolds is making this list, the man was in Boogie Nights for crying out loud.......

2) Floyd Mayweather Jr

Love him or hate him, the man has cemented a legacy in the boxing world. Plus, he broke The Big Show's nose which was cool as hell.

1) Pamela Anderson

Who can you possibly get to counter-act Jenny McCarthy's hotness at Wrestlemania 11? Oh yeah, that's right....1990's Pam Anderson! Good job Kevin Nash!

Looking back at it all, the WWE has had some pretty damn good celebrities attend "the big show". It'll be interesting to see if any big time "Hollywood" A-lister's will appear this year. Perhaps we will be blessed by an appearance by the Watchmen! Hell, I'd buy that.

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YouTube! Find Of The Week!

Man, I loved me some Andy Kaufman........

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Your Turn:



Kokos in but The Road Warriors arent? Nothing personal but koko didnt do jack shit for wrestling, oh wait he came to the ring with a bird
BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD

Posted By: gutter (Guest) on March 14, 2009 at 01:46 AM



Ahhh yes. The Family Guy joke will never get old! Family Guy is on a roll this season. The "Ladies and gentlemen...Conway Twitty" joke from last week had me rolling.



"I have been accused of "ignoring" the comments left by the lovely readers here at 411"

Yeah, you are. There's no mention of Retardgate in this column.

Posted By: Maffew (Guest) on March 14, 2009 at 09:13 AM



I have never been one that is considered "politically correct", so if my retard picture offended you....







Kim Kardashian is appropriate at a wrestling event, as long as it involves jello or baby oil.

Posted By: Bad guy (Guest) on March 14, 2009 at 10:19 AM



You are absolutely correct my friend. Especially if I get to eat the Jell-O afterward.



I used to live in the town that Matt f'n Bourne currently lives in and hung out with him quite a bit. Lot of crazy stories with that guy. He tells a great story about how Vince had him watch Cesar Romero's joker to prepare for the role. I've never seen a human being drink as much as that guy.

Posted By: Guest#3989 (Guest) on March 14, 2009 at 03:40 PM



I have met Matt Borne's father "Tough" Tony Borne on numerous occasions and if Matt is anything like his father, I believe you.



A world without JBL on TV is a world I don't want to live in.

Unless I owned an Xbox 360 and RE5, then I wouldn't care about anything.

Posted By: Anonymous (Guest) on March 15, 2009 at 06:46 AM



And Resident Evil 5 is completely kicking ass right now. I wasn't a fan of the Tomb Raider like levels and the game doesn't appear to be as creepy as the past titles, but other than that the game is incredibly gorgeous and fun to boot.



Steve Allen and Rona Barrett were WM 6, not five! Geez 411, at least get writers who know the basic history and if not, have them check their facts. It's little stuff like this that can go a long way to damaging credibility.

Posted By: Michael (Guest) on March 15, 2009 at 04:54 PM



Yes, I totally agree! It's my personal belief that every writer here at 411mania should know every celebrity appearance at every Wrestlemania by heart. Honestly, if it bugs you that I listed Steve Allen and Rona Barrett's Wrestlemania appearances wrong then I would highly recommend checking out a new hobby.

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And that's it for this week. See you next Saturday back in the Squared Circle! Until then, you can find me on MySpace or Facebook! Oh, and hey look....I also got a Twitter!