Report From The Ron Simmons Retirement Show

Posted by Larry Csonka on 02.08.2010

Damn…

Credit: Larry Goodman and Pwinsider.com

Purks International Championship Wrestling continued their phenomenally successful run in Cedartown Saturday night with a show featuring Ron Simmons' official retirement match, as well as appearances by Awesome Kong and Christy Hemme.

Attendance at the Purks Building was 900-1000. It was the fourth consecutive month Purks has drawn crowds in that range, numbers unheard of during the 12 years I've been covering indie wrestling in Georgia. Not coincidentally, the current run started with the decision to bring in major stars for each show - Scott Steiner, Steiner Brothers and Diamond Dallas Page consecutively. They may have had more in the building in December for Steiner Brothers, but there were few tickets given away for last night, so it was their best paid crowd thus far.

Similar to my Purks experience in December, it was a very entertaining show with a super responsive crowd. One that doesn't care all that much about the quality of the wrestling. The Cedartown fans turn out to see stars and to see them up close and personal. They want a good story. Purks wrestling delivers the goods.

Booking a monthly show presents its own unique challenges. Purks only books five or six matches. For various reasons, they ended up doing only four this time, leaving little room for fluff or deadening material. No worries. The stories kept things plenty interesting enough. The silver lining in the way the show was structured, was the way it minimized the chances of overexposing things in the ring.

Christy Hemme opened the show with the announcement that A. J. Styles was coming Purks Wrestling on March 6. There must be a hefty percentage of TNA viewers in Cedartown, because they popped huge for it. Hemme then led the crowd in a "TNA" chant.

Hemme was joined by the Purks Heavyweight Champion Bobby Hayes and his evil cronies, Terry Lawler and Alexander the Great. They all got the rub, so to speak, of being in the ring with Hemme. Television does not do her justice, and she comes across as someone with a true passion for pro wrestling. Hemme accused Hayes of having something to do with his scheduled opponent Jimmy Rave not being there. Hayes didn't deny it and added that he wanted something to do with Hemme. She slapped him. The scene was turning dark and ugly. Air Paris (scheduled to open against Lawler in a singles) came to her rescue, one against three. He got some shots in before the heels beat him down. David Young sprinted (yes, sprinted) to the ring for the save and got a great pop. The heels bailed to ringside. Young said the more things change, the more they stay the same – the same pieces of trash still causing trouble. Young pointed out that he and Paris had both beaten Hayes, and now Hemme was whipping his tail. "I've never been so glad to see your ugly, fat head," Paris said. He knew the odds were against him, but he wasn't going to allow Hayes and Co. take advantage of a woman. Paris suggested they get a partner and make it a six man for the main event, and they would have Hemme in their corner. Very well done all the way around and a great way to use Hemme.

(1) Shaun Banks defeated Simon Sermon in a falls count anywhere - no DQ – no time limit match (10:40). This was the blow off of a feud that has been building for several months. Match wasn't announced as falls count anywhere, but that stip became apparent soon enough. Banks skinned the cat and dropkicked Sermon, who dipped to the outside. Banks posted him and covered on the floor. Banks took a wicked looking shot into the post and Sermon got a near fall on the floor. Banks deposited Sermon head first into a giant trash barrel. Made a great visual and the crowd loved it. They brawled through the seating area a bit. Sermon hung Banks over the top rope by his do rag. They took turns bashing each other with a plastic Coke bottle. Sermon resorted to a low blow. Sermon used a chair to do a number on Banks, including an atomic drop on the edge of the chair. Sermon busted out an honest to God wrestling move, a Saito suplex. Payback proved to be hell, though, as Banks used a testicular claw to start his comeback. Banks hit two spinkicks and finished Sermon with a beauty of a top rope corkscrew elbow drop. Great stuff. Not what you would normally want in an opening match, but this wasn't a normal show.

Postmatch, the flamboyant Sermon engaged in some catch as catch can with referee Spanky Emerson.

(2) Awesome Kong pinned Nigel Sherrod in 8:39. Too Tall Shortts was the special referee due to past humiliations suffered at the hands of Sherrod. Sherrod was doing his loud-mouth-sexiest- man-to-hit-Cedartown routine. It's ridiculous and totally obnoxious and gets incredible heat. Sherrod warned Shortts not to stick his nose in, or risk being sent out on the short bus, cut down even shorter than he already was. Sherrod guaranteed a powerbomb on Kong. The pop for Kong's entrance was huge. Sherrod gyrated as he stripped off his vest and licked his biceps. And I thought Rhett Titus was disgusting. Kong chopping the bejeezus out of him. Sherrod took a spin bump off Kong's clothesline. Kong squashed Sherrod with a corner freight train splash. Sherrod's shoulder tackles couldn't make a dent. The heat started when Kong charged and Sherrod pulled the ropes down to spill her out. The deal was Shortts doing super slow counts for Sherrod's pin attempts. It didn't make sense for Kong to need help against the likes of Nigel. Better Shortts calls it down the middle and acts amused at Sherrod's predicament. Sherrod tried for a powerbomb. That got nowhere and Kong flattened him with a butt drop. Kong leveled Sherrod with the spinning back fist. Sherrod headed for the dressing room. Shortts bit Sherrod's butt to send him back to the ring. Sherrod tried to fight off the Awesome Bomb, but it was no use. Kong carried Shortts back the dressing room on her shoulders. Very entertaining.

Long intermission for inring photos with Simmons, Kong and Hemme. It really helps when you can bring in stars as gracious as these people were.

Ring announcer Josh Hayes disclosed that he had received a phone call threatening him with a beatdown if he showed up, but he wasn't backing down. I have no clue what's up with that.

John Arden entered the ring with manager Jackie Rosedale. John said brother Adam couldn't be there to defend the tag team titles because he had a 102 degree fever. Arden said he and his 400 pounds would defend the tag team titles alone. Rosedale insisted on a partner and brought out Sermon. Arden objected. Sermon compared Arden to a dinosaur – big size, small brain. Sermon instructed Arden to do as he was told. Arden continued to resist until he was attacked by Thomas Britain, Sermon's partner in Exotic Ones. Arden bled, just enough to make the point. Sermon demanded the title belts. Thunder & Lightning came out. Was this a title match? Only time would tell.

(3) Thunder & Lightning (Chris Ganzer & Chris Lightning) beat Exotic Ones (Simon Sermon & Thomas Britain) to win the Purks Tag Team Titles in 11:16. T & L got off to a fast start, using quick tags to keep a fresh man in at all times. Ganzer hit a flying bodypress on Sermon but Britain jumped in to break up the pin. Great cut off spot by Sermon – a jawcracker out of crucifix powerbomb position. Ganzer was the babyface-in-peril. Sermon carried the load, mostly working on Ganzer's shoulder. Lots of crowd love for T & L here. Off the hot tag, Lightning cleaned house and took Britain over the top with a huracanrana. Emerson got bumped. Arden returned to smoke Simon with a spear. T & L hit a missile dropkick variation of the Hart Attack. Lightning pinned Britain.


Arden presented the belts to Thunder & Lightning. He said they could hold them for now, but he and one of his brothers would get them back.

(4) Bobby Hayes & Terry Lawler & Alexander the Great beat Air Paris & David Young & Ron Simmons (with Christy Hemme) in 19:07. Paris introduced Simmons (wearing a DAMN t-shirt) as the third man for yet another great babyface pop. This Cedartown crowd is amazing. They were psyched. Simmons manhandled Lawler in a test of strength, and none of the heels wanted to mess with him. Comedy ensued with the bad guys accidentally hitting each other when Simmon ducked. A couple of good offensive spots as well – a tandem Russian legsweep by Young and Paris and Paris with a huracanrana to the floor. The heels triple teamed Simmons in their corner, but he fought his way out. Paris moved and Lawler took a flying crotch bump onto the middle turnbuckle. The crowd popped like it was a spot they had never seen before. At 10 minutes in, the heels finally got heat on Young. Crowd got behind him right away. Emerson missed a tag due to distraction, and the crowd went nuts. Young to his knees up on Alexander's quebrada. Very hot tag to Paris. Match broke down with Simmons going after Hayes on the outside. Inside the ring, Paris DDTed Alexander. Young turned on Paris with a lariat. Young hugged Alexander, but Paris was down and didn't see it. Young pretended to be sorry before giving Paris the spinebuster. A complete a-hole. Alexander pinned Paris. Simmons had to keep his back turned a very long time for the finish, but it still worked just fine.

Afterwards, Young said he had no problem with Simmons. His problem was with that white trash Paris. Said they weren't friends, never were friends and never would be friends. Paris apologized to Simmons and the people for letting them down. Simmons said Young was the one that let the people down, and Paris was still a winner in his eyes and in the eyes of the people. "There's not one word I can give you," Simmons added.

Paris said there was one word. Everyone knew what was coming, and Simmons did a long, dramatic pause to let it build before giving them the "DAMN!" It got a long and loud pop to close the show. Simmons thanks the fans and said this was officially it for his wrestling career.

NOTES: Simmons did a Q & A immediately after the show. He said he would continue to make wrestling appearances that included physical involvement, like throwing a punch, but there would be no more singles matches...Adam Arden canceled...Jimmy Rave is out of action with a broken nose...Purks is working on in bringing in a huge superstar for either April or May.