Doors opened a few minutes early, which is always nice. The arena was mighty empty. I'll call it 1,000 fans total. But, it was a loud and rowdy group! Before the show, I met ODB and paid $5 for an autographed 8x10.
(1) Magnus pinned D.O.C. in about 10:00. The pairing was unconventional, but Magnus did a good job of making up for working with a big, goofy oaf from Aces & Eights. There were a few funny spots and Sign Guy's sign read: "Call the zoo, D.O.C. escaped."
(2) ODB pinned Gail Kim in about 10:00. Earl Hebner did his Montreal Screwjob schtick before the match, which consisted of a lot of back and forth. ODB won after Gail apparently got drunk after one sip from ODB's flask.
(3) Garett Bischoff pinned Samoa Joe in about 15:00. Sign Guy had fun with Bischoff - one picture of him was normal and one bloodied and bruised reading "Before Joe" and "After Joe," respectively. Joe dominated Bischoff, who tried to leave. Joe then retrieved him and continued to dominate until Aces & Eights ran interference. Anderson distracted Brian Hebner and D.O.C. used his hammer on Joe. Garett then got the pin.
(4) TNA tag champion Austin Aries beat Chavo Guerrero (w/Hernandez) in about 20:00. Sign Guy's sign read: "Aries must be this tall to wrestle," with a section of measuring tape. Aries tore up the sign and pretended to measure his man-hood before showing the tape to Brian Hebner, boasting. Overall, a very good match, and Hernandez did a good job of firing up a crowd. After about ten minutes of back and forth action, Aries called for time-out and grabbed the mic, claiming collusion because Hernandez doesn't have a manager's card and should go to the back. They returned to action, where a series of atomic drops gave new meaning to blue balls. Chavo attempted a frog splash, but Aries held Hebner in the way. Chavo got down and moved Hebner, only to eat a low blow and fall victim to a schoolboy for the win.
(5) James Storm beat Mr. Anderson in about 20:00. Sign Guy's sign read: "Two bombs" and had a picture of the Hiroshima mushroom cloud and the cover of "Behind Enemy Lines: Columbia." Storm got the sign and walked it around the ring, showing the crowd. Anderson tried to get in a cheap shot, but Storm was ready. This turned into a comedy match. Storm rammed Anderson's head into many fans's shoes, then dumped popcorn on Anderson's head and placed the bucket on Earl's head like a hat. Anderson comedy-sold throughout, doing "the dizzy boxer" schtick. Storm then Irish-whips Anderson, who ran back and forth about 15 laps as Storm jumped into the front seat and sat back. The action resumed, then Storm hit Closing Time. After Storm celebrated, Anderson rolled out and grabbed Storm's beer bottle, waiting for Storm to turn around. But, Hebner saw the bottle and took it away as Anderson complained. When Anderson turned around, he ate the Last Call Superkick for the finish.
[Intermission to set up the cage. JB announced that over Earl Hebner'a career of 30-plus years, he was recently accredited with refereeing his 100,000th match. So, autographs and Earl's t-shirt are on-sale! Plus, a lot of other festivities for people who bought VIP tickets.]
(6) TNA World Hvt. champion Jeff Hardy pinned Bully Ray in a steel cage in about 30:00 to retain the TNA World Title. The main event was nothing spectacular. Hardy was limping slightly, so no high-flying. There were a few top-of-the-cage spots. Also, Bully got a couple of two counts before attempting to escape from the top. But, Hardy pulled Bully down and the two battled on the top rope. Bully headbutted Hardy down, then covered for two. Bully went to climb, but Hardy began crawling through the door, so Bully slammed the door in his face. A little more back and forth before Hardy hit Twist of Fate for the end.
Afterward, Hardy and Bully shook hands and began to celebrate in the ring when Garett Bischoff and D.O.C. stormed the ring. But, Hardy and Bully delivered a quick beat down of the Aces & Eights members. And the show closed happy. Afterward, Hardy took pictures with VIPs and anyone wanting to pay $20.